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New Book 'Cinderella Ate My Daughter' Looks at Effect of Girly-Girl Culture
Filed under: In The News, Books for Parents
Peggy Orenstein's new book deals with the Disney Princess phenomenon. Credit: Amazon
Not content with being a prince, however, he wants to go back to school and become a dentist. The royal family disowns him because, really, a dentist?
That's OK. You love him. You work two jobs to put him through dentistry school. The week after he graduates, he dumps you for the Little Mermaid.
Welcome to the real world of the Disney princesses.
This is not the fairy tale world little girls imagine from all the dolls, clothes and other merchandise they're shown from an early age, where beasts are transformed into princes. Sorry, girls. It doesn't work that way. The beasts usually remain beasts.
Author Peggy Orenstein wants girls to realize they don't have to rely on heroes. They can be their own heroes, thank you very much. However, Orenstein worries about all the cultural messages girls are getting -- especially from the marketing mad men behind such things as Disney Princess merchandise.
She ponders this in her new book "Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture," debuting this week.
A contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine, Orenstein also has written for such publications as the Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Vogue, Elle, Discover, More, Mother Jones, Salon, O: The Oprah Magazine and The New Yorker.
She is also the author of the best-selling book "Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self-Esteem and the Confidence Gap."
As a mother, Orenstein says she became both intrigued and appalled by how marketeers at Disney collected all the princesses from their various animated films and created the Disney Princess line to attract pre-teen girls.
Orenstein recently spoke with ParentDish about her book and the whole "princess" concept. An edited version of the interview follows.
ParentDish: When did you first become aware of Disney princesses and the influence they have on girls?
Peggy Orenstein: I didn't want her (her daughter, Daisy) thinking there's anything we can't do because she is a girl. Then she came home from preschool, almost by osmosis, knowing all the names of the Disney princesses.
I didn't remember this from when I was a kid. I played princess as a kid, but not to this extent.
PD: What's the difference between now and when you were a child?
PO: The difference is having five channels like we did when I was a kid -- because I am that old -- to having all the channels we have now. It's overwhelming. The Disney princesses themselves is a $5 billion industry. The difference is that children are now marketed to from the womb.
Five or 10 years ago, we would be talking about girls being sexualized too early, whether they are becoming too sexy too soon. Now it's the full range. Girls go from "Who's the fairest in the land" to "Who's the hottest in the land."
PD: What about boys? Don't all the action figures and superheroes have the reverse effect on them, encouraging a sort of hyper and unrealistic masculinity?
PO: Boys absolutely have their own issues with all of this. I really hope someone will write a book about how all this affects boys. However, I chose to focus on girls.
PD: How can an alert parent counteract the cultural influences of things like Disney princesses?
PO: Parenting is always present tense. I wanted to give parents a toddler to tween arch, but these issues are ongoing. You're not going to be able to avoid these images. They're everywhere. You can't walk into a store without being bombarded by them.
And you can't constantly say "no" to your daughter.
That's one of the reasons I called my book "Cinderella Ate My Daughter," which is obviously very overblown and over-the-top. I believe in fighting fun with fun.
PD: When do all these cultural messages really begin to sink in with girls?
PO: It really starts to sink in when they are around 2 1/2, 3 years old. That's when they started realizing there is this thing called "girl" and this thing called "boy" and they want to be a girl. They start thinking about what makes a girl a girl and what makes a boy a boy.
They might not want you to dress them in pants, for example, because they think you're trying to turn them into a boy.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 13)
1-26-2011 @ 7:04PM
David said...Interesting interview! Before we had our daughter, a kid’s clothing store called Honeys and Heroes opened up in our town.
It made me cringe. Why would you want to tell girls that they are ‘honeys,’ while boys get to be ‘heroes’?
As the NYT Book Review of Cinderella Ate My Daughter points out: to sell, of course!
Disney is one of the main culprits, with their relentless princess products merchandising to girls, and their Princesses & Heroes On Ice shows.
(Think about the message this sends to kids and, if you’re inspired, email Disney corporate.)
Because of our disgust with the whole princess industrial complex, my wife and I made a conscious effort not to register for anything pink for our daughter’s baby shower.
What happened?
A lot of pink happened.
We don’t believe in throwing away clothes because of their color, but I am documenting this ‘ocassional pink’ phase and will show it to Naomi when she’s a little older. My message is simple: there’s nothing wrong with pink and princesses; it’s just that they’re not a perfect match for girls. Unlike princesses and ‘honeys,’ girls don’t need to wait to be rescued by princes and heroes. They can do great things on their own. They can be heroes.
So, yes, pink and princesses are a necessary part of our world. In fact, they’re a great match for the most dependent beings of all — babies.
--David
1000BabySteps.com
(1000 small steps toward a better life for all grown-ups, based on what I learn from my baby daughter over the next 1000 days!)
Reply
1-26-2011 @ 2:16PM
anonymous said...Oh please. This is once again trying to take the blame off parents and put it on...princesses? Get real. Maybe parents shouldn't let their toddlers stare at the TV so much so they are bombarded with princess marketing?
1-26-2011 @ 2:31PM
elvoz said...How sad that you wont let your daughter grow up to be a honey -- you have to acknowledge what a child is before you make them a hero. Mothers like the cringer are WORSE THAN THE LITTLE LEAGUE FATHER who insists that his kid play BB when the kid wants to be an artist.
Let nature tell you what the child is going to be -- and then support that -- while providing ALL TYPES OF OTHER ACTIVITIES
1-26-2011 @ 2:33PM
Pamela said...How sad that the author doesn't see the positive influence these characters have on our girls (and boys!). These characters teach good basic values to our children, such as the Golden Rule. Eventually they grow out of the characters on their own and start exploring new characters (not necessarily Disney) and other ideas that will additionally shape who they will become as adults. I have two girls who both started life loving the Disney princesses. One of them will always consider her "signature color" pink (and she looks beautiful in it), is an overachieving student and destined to be an amazing leader and do something wonderful when she becomes an adult. The other eventually rejected anything pink or princess, is also a wonderful student and has a passion for mankind and animals. I suspect she'll do something to help others in some way in her adult life. Disney princesses did nothing to shape their outcomes except give them some basic goodness early in their lives. I'm so happy these characters were in their lives.
1-26-2011 @ 2:34PM
lively said...Oh, exactly, anonymous! once again, it's blame everything and every body but yourself for your parenting mistakes.
1-26-2011 @ 2:47PM
Darla said...As long as there is love, Http://www.childrenshealthsecrets.com your child will be fine.
1-26-2011 @ 5:05PM
barbg said...OH PLEASE people. What's next, not letting your kids watch Berenstain Bears, or reading 3 little pigs...????.They learn soon enough that's is fantasy. Let them enjoy being a child, they grow up fast enough. Just get real, most of us grew up reading Cinderella and Snow white.
1-27-2011 @ 8:08AM
Wendy said...Oh please. She named her daughter Daisy. What kind of life framework is she setting up for her daughter. She must have a good publicist because the premise of this book is not consistent with research. She needs to do little more homework.
1-26-2011 @ 7:03PM
Evan said...My god! People need to quit finding stupid little things to complain about, wow! I mean how many little girls grow thinking there princesses? None that I know of. Its a phaze that all people go through in life. "Life, live it, love it, enjoy it". What they like now, 9 times out of 10, they wont later. They learn more good things from these shows and stuff than bad. Are parents not teaching there kids the difference between whats make-believe and real and whats not??? "Oh my god! these princesses are gonna ruin my child" Pink, who cares about pink. Its a color, get over it!
1-26-2011 @ 2:13PM
smille6074 said...Blaming Disney for fairytales!!! Wow...what is this world coming to? Seems like everyone wants the "world" to raise their child instead of the parents. It's heart sickening. Stop blaming everyone else....take some RESPONSIBILITY!! This isn't a socialistic government...yet.
Reply
1-26-2011 @ 2:37PM
Alicia said...A) Word you're looking for: socialist.
B) Socialism has nothing to do with princesses or how you raise your kids. Trust me, I've lived in a socialist country and they are way less uptight about parenting than Americans.
Other than that, I agree that it's ridiculous to blame Disney for child behavior. I loved (and still love) Disney Princesses. I also loved Power Rangers and Thundercats growing up. I wanted to be a marine biologist from the time I was seven until I realized at 13, I hated math and that wouldn't quite work for me. It's about balance and talking to your kids. Also, pretty impossible for a color to be evil or give anyone ideas. I really don't think pink has told girls to act like helpless little brats. Parents did that.
1-26-2011 @ 3:34PM
Tim said...Alice... dont correct someone when you are wrong yourself.
"This is not a socialistic government... yet."
Socialistic = of or pertaining to socialists or socialism. (www.dictionary.com)
This is not a government of socialists or socialism.
1-26-2011 @ 4:32PM
Alicia said...I wasn't familiar with the word socialistic. In years of social studies classes on government systems, I had never heard it. I realize that we don't have a socialist government, nor do we have any politicians that I know of who dare identify themselves as socialists.
1-26-2011 @ 5:35PM
Judi said...I agree with the author. In the late 60s-early 70s our country went through social changes. Things got better for a while,but now we have 12 yr old girls wearing "hottie" on their butts. Ain't that cute? The message is: you go from being a princess to being a hottie (sex kitten) and Pink is THE color. Victoria's Secret make me want to barf. God forbid if you don't happen to look the the models. The message is: you won't get a man. I saw the trend back in the late 80s. Be hot, put out and all y our troubles will be solved when you get a man to take care of you. If theat were true, we wouldn't have so many women and their kids living in poverty.
1-26-2011 @ 7:30PM
maria said...Judi
Really ?! I have 3 daughters 8,13,19
my two youngest daughters DONT DRIVE ,DONT WORK and when my youngest was 12 neither did she. HOTTIE on the butt who do u think is buying these clothes ??? their parents thats who ! so many SINGLE MOTHERS living in poverty you say use a condom or birth control and that would be solved ! get a grip its NOT Disney or Princesses . its Parents who cant or wont be bothered raising their own children . who wait till they are 40 to have babies cause they need to experience life and are too tired by then to raise them .
I personally hope my daughters NEVER want to stop feeling like a princess,Heck I hope they get Married in DISNEY world
1-26-2011 @ 9:05PM
SAOIRSE said...1-26-2011 @ 4:32PM
Alicia said...
I wasn't familiar with the word socialistic. In years of social studies classes on government systems, I had never heard it. I realize that we don't have a socialist government, nor do we have any politicians that I know of who dare identify themselves as socialists.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>was simply over here to see the views and opinions and add that this woman's being moronic >>> but .being YOU introduced THIS TOPIC-you are dead wrong. We most CERTAINLY DO HAVE politicians identifying themselves as socialists starting with bernie sanders VT and many others WHO tried to hide this as they pulled down THEIR socialist democrat website complete with their theme song :when the red red robin comes bob bob bobbin along---clnton,pelosi etc etc all PROUDLY LISTED- now they've shortened their title to pRogressives--http://gatewaypundit.rightnetwork.com/2010/08/american-socialists-release-names-of-70-congressional-democrats-in-their-caucus/ and what WND printed here IS FACTUAL INFO-http://www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=191625
1-26-2011 @ 9:40PM
Alicia said...Apparently you're not very good at reading comments all the way through, since I said "not to my knowledge." I have more important things to do than to worry if congressmen in other states and politicians I was too young to elect are socialist, especially considering that socialism is only considered a bad thing in America. It works beautifully in many other countries around the world. Though, admittedly, Ireland's government is in crisis, but it has never had the economic stability to support a socialist government. As for America? We're still not socialist.
1-26-2011 @ 2:27PM
khara said...I couldn't agree more about this whole concept. It is our culture that tells us a girl's most defining moment is when she gets marrried, and that she's 'no one til somebody loves her'. It's awful. Our parents should have - or parents in the future - should really focus on teaching girls to love themselves and see value in their own accomplishments. Because no matter how many trophies, no matter how many A's, no matter how many friends she has, she's not going to feel 'good enough' if the prince doesn't like her. Boys aren't raised that way. They're raised to find worth in accomplishments. Girls are taught to search for love. I've learned, finally at 32, it starts with loving yourself, being proud of what I have accomplished and can bring to the table. But that search must be one from within, not outside.
Reply
1-26-2011 @ 2:16PM
S.S. said...Oh PLUEEEEZE!!!!!! This is rediculous....a normal family with parents who actually pay attention to their children don't have problems with these kids of things.....just the one's who use tv as a babysitter......just like lousy parents raise little bullies
Reply
1-26-2011 @ 7:01PM
evan said...Thank you S.S Dont people have REAL problems anymore? Be a part of your childs life, teach them, play with them, help point them in the right direction. Instead of blaming other people and other things. Get off the darn computer aand go play with your kid, read them a book, something! Theres so so many bad things in life that are gonna come our kids way, princesses are not one of them!