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Ooh La La, My Son Is in Love With Lady Gaga
Filed under: Opinions
Jillian Lauren's son is having a "Bad Romance" with Lady Gaga. But she's fine with it. Really. Courtesy Jillian Lauren
A few nights later, I collapsed. Exhaustion. Dehydration. Only I collapsed on Big Panda and there was no entourage to lift me to my feet. I just sat there and sobbed until I got so bored with myself that I had to get up.
Big Panda is the enormous stuffed animal my 2-year-old son uses as a chair, a trampoline and sometimes a friend to chat with when Mama shamelessly neglects him for some self-indulgent pursuit such as doing the dishes.
But Gaga and I have more than just exhaustion swoons in common. She may not know it, but we are competing for prominence in my son's heart.
You see, my son is obsessed with Gaga. He is head over heels, painfully, passionately in love with her. He wakes in the morning and the first word out of his mouth is "Gaga." I can get him to do almost anything -- he'll even sit still while I rake through his tangled Afro -- if I play the "Bad Romance" video on repeat.
My son says "Papa, Papa" all the time. People think it's so cute that he's asking for his dad. But he's not; he's singing "Paparazzi."
In some ways, Gaga must seem like anti-Mama to my son. Gaga is the blond and I'm the brunette. Gaga is the girl wearing the chandelier and, most days, I look like I'm wearing the pillowcase.
The dictates of girl culture would indicate that I should resent Gaga, even seethe at Gaga, for the combustible, remarkable, impossible triumph of impracticality that she is. Reason should compel my heart to feel a twinge of envy with her every writhing twist in the video that plays in the background as I launder another load of cloth diapers.
But I don't resent Gaga.
My son occasionally suffers from night terrors. He wakes screaming inconsolably in the middle of the night and it can last for up to two hours. When this happens, he cries desperately for Gaga. He cries for Mama, too. His sobs sound something like this:
"GagaaaaaaaaaaaMamaaaMamaaaaGagaaaaaaaaaaaa."
And, in those bleary moments when I wander the house and press my son's wet cheek to my own, I recognize that Gaga is not the anti-Mama in my son's eyes -- she is the Ultimate Mama. She is the mama who can walk on shining stilts and light fires with her eyes. She is the mama who can bring the world to its knees. That is the mama he needs when he is terrified and that is exactly the mama I will be for my son.
I will pace the moonlit floorboards with him until I have slain every last demon. I am Mama. I am Gaga. I am unstoppable.
And, so, while some mothers may sing, "Hush Little Baby," my lullaby is:
Rah, rah, ah, ah, ah
Roma, roma, ma
Gaga, ooh la la
Want your bad romance.
Jillian Lauren is the author of the best-selling memoir "Some Girls: My Life in a Harem." She has an MFA from Antioch University and her writing has appeared in Vanity Fair, The New York Times and Flaunt magazine, among others. Read her blog on Red Room.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
1-25-2011 @ 1:30PM
HowDumbCanYouBe said...Well, isn't Lady GaGa a wonderful role model for your son!
(said sarcastically)
A little kid isn't even going to know the songs or recognize the face (or body shall we point out) if the parent's haven't 1st been watching and listening to her stuff.
I've got no sympathy, expect maybe for the little boy who's being so sadly mislead into thinking that crush's on stars and celebs is the way to a happy life.
Teach your kids something worthwhile - Http://bit.ly/BABYlanding
Reply
1-25-2011 @ 7:15PM
KieranBonilla said...Actually Lady GaGa is a great person. This idiot above me here is getting all "I'm-the-best-parent-in-the-world" over here... Lady GaGa is one of the few TALENTED pop stars who can manage herself, sing, put on a damn good show and she is a sweetheart. She is so great to her fans. There is nothing wrong in idolizing a celeb, we have all done it as kids... I STILL do it. I love GaGa I go to every concert she has near me. I love her. I see that you feel like you have all the answers on parenting up there, but, you probably shouldn't be commenting on how other people are raising chicldren when they are doing just fine =]. What would be so bad if your child turned out like GaGa? Would they be talented, beautiful, wealthy, intelligent, nice pop stars? Oh how tragic...
1-25-2011 @ 5:49PM
amber said...Bahahaha! You have issues pal! What does it matter her son likes Lady Gaga? I guess you were deprived as a child ( so it seems)! Some people I guess still have that giant stick cramed way up their ass still!!! Get over it!!!
1-25-2011 @ 11:51PM
Alicia said...And I was obsessed with Led Zeppelin as a child. Your point is? If her son's young enough to be in diapers still, I really don't think a few poppy tunes are going to be at all detrimental. He certainly doesn't understand a kickass pair of legs yet.
1-25-2011 @ 2:10PM
Kayla said...:) That's great. He has great taste in women at least! :)
Too bad some people :cough: howdumbcanyoube :cough: feel the need to tell other people how to raise their own children.
It's fine.
When your kid leaves your house for college and goes absolutely bonkers because you kept them completely sheltered, and her child is successful in different transitions in life, you can remember your comment and remember how judgmental you were to someone you clearly know everything about from 10 paragraphs.
oh. and did you catch the sarcasm in that?
Reply
1-25-2011 @ 2:21PM
Carrie said...Gaga is live carton character - with shiny, impossible super hero outfits
your son has good taste!
and it is wonderful to have back up comfort for night terrors. so rough on parents and kids
Reply
1-25-2011 @ 5:10PM
Mandy said...I'm glad to know that my son isn't the only one who's obsessed with Lady Gaga (he's 3-years-old now, but this has been going on for some time). We've watched all the videos, listen to all the songs, even sing Gaga karaoke together. I don't mind it one bit and neither does my husband/his Daddy. And although I sound nothing like Lady Gaga when I sing (quite the opposite, actually), at night when I sing him his Gaga lullabies, he says, "Again, again!" Now THAT'S love.
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1-27-2011 @ 1:02AM
Jessica said...My daughter who is four also is gaga over Gaga. This has been going on for about two years now. But as much as she and I both enjoy her, I do feel like the majority of her lyrics, videos, and performances are geared toward those out of the toddler stage. Because of that, I have the edited album downloaded, don't let her watch the videos, and wouldn't take her to her concert(even though she cried and begged when she found out Gaga was coming to our city).
That being said, I too think she is a fabulous entertainer who adores her little monsters, and has continued to remain humble. But I personally as a mom, feel like I want to keep some of Gaga's more adult talent under the raidar, like when I had to try and explain why Gaga was wearing just a bra and thong holding a huge gun while gracing the cover of our Rolling Stone magazine to my four year old when she came bringing to me. I would much rather explain how fun and creative she is, dressed in her meat dress! To each their own.
Reply
1-27-2011 @ 2:28PM
Dorothy said...Sometimes people really need to get over themselves (that would be you, first commenter HowDumbCanYouBe). It's a phase T is going through, pure and simple. He likes the beat of the music and the fascinating pictures that go by. Anyone looking for anything deeper, speaking psychologically, probably never had kids. My daughter used to love to watch tons of videos in the early days of MTV. Madonna was one of her favorites. My daughter will be 28 in a couple of weeks and she was a valedictorian of her high school class, went to Penn State's Honor's college and is extremely happy in her job as a copy editor at a newspaper. You can't get much more normal than that!
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