Jaimie Etkin: The Devil Wore Manolos
What Next? Jail Time for Non-Organic Soccer Snacks?
Filed under: Opinions
So a Florida legislator is introducing a bill that would have teachers grade parents. This idea is more revolting than a school lunch fish taco.
I get that the idea is to make sure parents get their kid to school on time, get their homework done, etc., etc. But what's next? Grading parents on whether they feed their wee ones locally-grown baby lettuce? Whether they play enough Mozart during dinner? Whether their kids are too fat?
And if the parents "fail" -- then what? Tutoring? Or maybe they'll be forbidden from having more kids till they redo their first one and hand him back in? And by the way, who's going to be the arbiter of whether we're "good enough?" Amy Chua?
The terrible thing about this idea is that it allows someone else to determine if our parenting skills pass muster. As "America's Worst Mom" (go ahead and Google me) I can assure you that there is a wide spectrum of parenting practices out there, and something that you think is just peachy, someone else will find appalling -- and happily turn you in. (Think KGB, but more self-righteous.)
So if you feed your kids Cheez-Its in a hippie-dippy town -– and those Cheez-Its aren't whole wheat, sodium-reduced -- watch out. Live in a preppy precinct and let your kids quit lacrosse -- watch out. Send your kids out to play on the lawn and some folks will say you're negligent. But keep them inside, glued to Grand Theft Auto (or its gateway drug, Club Penguin), and the anti-full-salt-cracker crowd will blame you for giving your kids rickets.
Start legislating these decisions and we are all up a tree. (Something we may or may not be allowed to let our kids climb.) Think of the parents who have gotten actual tickets for letting their kids wait in the car while they ran in to pick up the pizza. The parents thought it was fine. The authorities said no. Do the authorities really care more about our own kids than we do?
Or how about this story I just heard: A mom who was having a home birth experienced complications and ended up at the hospital where she was given powerful drugs. Fine. But when the nurse handed her her newborn, the groggy mom said she wasn't prepared to hold him yet -- please hand him to the dad.
Was that a responsible mom? Not in the eyes of the hospital, which found her behavior so disturbing it assigned a social worker to her case -- for six weeks!
You really don't want outsiders judging your parenting because there is always going to be SOMETHING you think is just fine -- a vegan diet! a dinner of Cocoa Puffs! -- that the bigshots disapprove of.
And it could all start so innocently. With a report card.
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I get that the idea is to make sure parents get their kid to school on time, get their homework done, etc., etc. But what's next? Grading parents on whether they feed their wee ones locally-grown baby lettuce? Whether they play enough Mozart during dinner? Whether their kids are too fat?
And if the parents "fail" -- then what? Tutoring? Or maybe they'll be forbidden from having more kids till they redo their first one and hand him back in? And by the way, who's going to be the arbiter of whether we're "good enough?" Amy Chua?
The terrible thing about this idea is that it allows someone else to determine if our parenting skills pass muster. As "America's Worst Mom" (go ahead and Google me) I can assure you that there is a wide spectrum of parenting practices out there, and something that you think is just peachy, someone else will find appalling -- and happily turn you in. (Think KGB, but more self-righteous.)
So if you feed your kids Cheez-Its in a hippie-dippy town -– and those Cheez-Its aren't whole wheat, sodium-reduced -- watch out. Live in a preppy precinct and let your kids quit lacrosse -- watch out. Send your kids out to play on the lawn and some folks will say you're negligent. But keep them inside, glued to Grand Theft Auto (or its gateway drug, Club Penguin), and the anti-full-salt-cracker crowd will blame you for giving your kids rickets.
Start legislating these decisions and we are all up a tree. (Something we may or may not be allowed to let our kids climb.) Think of the parents who have gotten actual tickets for letting their kids wait in the car while they ran in to pick up the pizza. The parents thought it was fine. The authorities said no. Do the authorities really care more about our own kids than we do?
Or how about this story I just heard: A mom who was having a home birth experienced complications and ended up at the hospital where she was given powerful drugs. Fine. But when the nurse handed her her newborn, the groggy mom said she wasn't prepared to hold him yet -- please hand him to the dad.
Was that a responsible mom? Not in the eyes of the hospital, which found her behavior so disturbing it assigned a social worker to her case -- for six weeks!
You really don't want outsiders judging your parenting because there is always going to be SOMETHING you think is just fine -- a vegan diet! a dinner of Cocoa Puffs! -- that the bigshots disapprove of.
And it could all start so innocently. With a report card.
Want to get the latest ParentDish news and advice? Sign up for our newsletter!
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
1-25-2011 @ 12:20PM
Jennifer D said...I agree, this is just ridiculous. This is not a direction I am comfortable with in the slightest.
I believe the woman who created the bill did so out of a desire to find someway to reach the parents of kids who are struggling, but this is NOT the way to do it.
Reply
1-25-2011 @ 12:27PM
elijah said...HaaHooooHooooooo! Club Penguin is the gateway drug to Grand Theft Auto! Oh, Lenore, that is classic stuff there! Love it.
Reply
1-25-2011 @ 4:17PM
Gina said...Why is FL the hotbead of crazy people? I am so embarrassed to live here!
Reply
1-26-2011 @ 12:00AM
Alicia said...Nope, it's an America thing in general. I lived in Ireland for four months last semester and parents just didn't sweat the small stuff. Granted the pack of 16 8 year old boys who threw firecrackers at my friend's window were a pain, but their slightly more polite peers several blocks away were amusing to watch play and wreak havoc on the streets. Seeing kids on the buses wasn't weird and everyone walked to school, all without parents, except for the very littlest. It was refreshing. Now I'm back in VT and I've seen one child on a public bus since I've been back. It's depressing.
1-25-2011 @ 6:22PM
Silver Fang said...I can see both sides of it. I work with school kids and have seen many negligent, entitlement-minded and douche bag parents as well as many caring parents. The sad fact is, no matter what the schools do, it won't really change the parents' behavior. They may go through the motions, but their hearts will be as they always were.
Reply
1-25-2011 @ 6:34PM
Floyd Stearns said...Grading parents??
Totally absurd!!
From what I gather, Kelli Stargel comes from a family that has been long into politics in Florida. I think that says a lot about why she is proposing something as controversial as this. This gets her name out there.
I wonder if she is a mom? If so, would she want to be graded?
This would just be another drain on a teacher's time and a big waste of taxpayers' money.
I'm 68 years old and a father of four successful adults.
Reply
1-25-2011 @ 8:11PM
linda said...In the words of the immortal Alice, "Curiouser and curiouser..." Every day, it's something new; something worse; something more asinine.
I do not check my children's homework unless they ask me to. I do not verify the homework is finished, I merely sign the planner - acknowledging that I was AWARE there was an assignment - and go on with my day. I feel the kids need to learn to be responsible for their own assignments. If they are never allowed to fall down (literally or figuratively) as children, how will they know how to react when it happens as an adult?
We have a duty as parents to prepare our children for a life beyond the womb. There will come a day when the uber dads and helicopter moms will pass beyond this world and 40-year-old Junior will be left with no one to wipe his chin, pre-chew his macaroni and cheese or walk him across the street.
Reply
2-01-2011 @ 4:14AM
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1-30-2011 @ 3:22PM
k said...This is insane, and there is no way I can think of to devise a system that would benefit anyone--students, parents, teachers, or schools. I also agree that this person is doing this for purely political reasons.
That said, I am a teacher, and I often wish I could hold parents accountable for things they do that make it impossible for me to educate their children. What could make it impossible for me to educate a child? How about a child who does not attend school regularly (and has no underlying medical condition)? I teach first grade so we are not talking about children ditching, but children whose parents do no send them to school. Yet I am held accountable for that child's education, and in the future, my pay could be tied to that child's performance on standardized tests. And in case you are wondering about laws governing school attendance, they are far too weak. In my state (CA), Childrens' Services does not intervene at all in cases of truancy. It is up to the DA to prosecute, and they do, but only in the most extreme cases. It is entirely possible to miss tons of school--enough to make it difficult to learn--but not miss enough to be prosecuted. In the fantasyland in my head, I often wish I could grade parents on basic things like just getting their kids to school.
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2-15-2011 @ 6:15AM
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