Boy, 11, Disconnects From Family After Half Sister's Birth

Agreed. Moving the Xbox to a public area of the house, if it's in his room or giving him time limits would probably be a better option, and even then, probably only if all else fails.

Regardless, no child should be allowed to "live on" XBox. That's truly abysmal parenting. There need to be some limits.

I like that idea of moving the Xbox to a room in the house where everyone is already hanging out together. Maybe when baby takes a nap or goes to bed for the night, make an effort to have one-on-one time with the 11-year old. Even if that means joining him for an Xbox game at first. There are some nice family friendly games and freebies on HTTp://bIt.LY/smartersavings Maybe some of their tips or online games could be enjoyable.

I agree that removing the XBox is a terrible idea. It's a stress-buster, and sounds like this kid went through a lot recently. Why don't you try PLAYING a video game with your kids? So many parents believe that playing a game of Monopoly is good, wholesome fun, but God forbid you play a video game with them.

While I agree that it's a concern if all your kid does is spend his or her day holed up playing video games, it's also not the downfall of modern society. Kids make friends online, and with the modern technology, can chat and play games with their friends while they're in their rooms doing what appears to be solitary play. So it's not always even anti-social.

If that is red flags, what is the signs of all of the dirty old women who think some body wants them

When are people like you going to go AWAY? Every time a kid displays the slightest emotional problem, it's automatically because some adult is molesting them. While I agree that in some cases this is an issue, it's NOT THE MAJORITY of cases.

It's obvious why this boy is having problems as his mother just outlined the very reason.

Every time a kid farts these days its because somebody's abusing them. Quit using that as a convenient excuse because people are too lazy to look for the real reason a child is upset.

I agree with you. Possible abuse by stepfather during mom's absence leapt to my mind as well. For the naysayers, it DOES happen. It is not Obvious why the boy has become withdrawn. Feeling left out with the new baby around is one possibility, but not the only one. Mom needs to spend some one on one time with her child and give him a chance to open up about what is bothering him.

I agree-those are red flags for abuse and you should have him see a therapist. It may not be sexual, but could be, but also could be mental or physical. Just DO NOT ignore these things, please!
The living situation should be such that by the time you were in the hospital having this man's baby (I assume), your son would be comfortable about his role in your life and comfortable with his stepfather. Your son should have been made to feel comfortable about his position first in your heart (a place that another child of course would hold as well) before anything else. He should know he and siblings come before stepfather as you made the decision to have these children. (Men come and go--but your children are a part of your soul. Period. It is your responsibility to do the right thing for the kids first and foremost and no one else's.)
So, if that is the case and he were not being neglected (mentally) by you, I agree that these behaviors are totally a red flag regarding abuse. Don't take it for granted that you'd know if it were happening. Lot's of people think they would see it and know, but don't. Heed the signs and find out what is wrong ASAP. I've worked with lots of kids and you don't want one this age getting their back against a wall, isolated and depressed. No one wants to ID their kid in a morgue. I hate to say that, but I want you to understand how serious this could get. Hormones/puberty is just around the corner at the stage with all the peer pressure at school and home needs to be a safe haven. If there is no safe place for a kid, they will turn inward and spiral downward.
I also think that spirituality is huge--if you are members of a church, etc. and believe in a higher power, your son, as well as the whole family, has another source of support and resources. You cannot underestimate the power of prayer and the impact of knowing you're not alone in the world (that your God, etc.) walks with you throughout life holding you up during the bad times, etc., can make. It has helped me a lot when I've been down and saved me. I know my husband and I want that for our kids since it has been so important to us.
Good luck and I hope all your lives improves through this experience. I'm also a mom of an 11-year-old boy...

have any of you idiots actually had a child, and then had another? i agree, these could be pointers to sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, or even drug or alcohol abuse. IF THE MOTHER HADN'T JUST GIVEN BIRTH AFTER AN EXTENDED HOSPITAL STAY!!!!! my advice is this, take it slow. start to "welcome" the 11 year old back into your life. spend some time with just him, no baby, no stepdad. THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL TIME IN A BOY'S LIFE, REGARDLESS OF THE ADDITIONAL STRESSORS. and, i'm pretty sure mom and stepdad are pretty stressed out right now!! how do i know anything about this topic, you ask? hmmm...let's see, mom to three, and about the same time i had number two, i was also in the hospital for a bit. oh, and working at a pediatrician's office, i've seen enough of emotional problems occurring around stressful times in a child's life...

wow. bitterness much? those are awfully bold statements to make considering you know nothing of this woman's experience. your assumptions might lead others to assume that you are a divorcee whose ex soon remarried and had children with someone else.

LOL and if she wrote this letter as a single mom with a dead husband you'd say she made her life all about the kid and needed to show him he's a child and not sit and worship at his feet. Can't win for losing. Kids need to get over themselves and recognize their appropriate place which NO is NOT the SOLE place in their parents' lives. Otherwise you get a generation like this entitlement brats in their 20s today. No way.

Wendy apparently doesn't remember what it was like being 11 and certainly doesn't know many 20-somethings.

A) 11 is a miserable age where not only does it seem like the world is against you, but so is your own body as puberty kicks in. Add to this a new family making you feel alienated and anyone would hide away, including an adult. At 11, children are very much still children and don't have the maturity yet to "get over themselves." No they aren't the center of their parents lives and they can understand that, but they do deserve to have time, attention and affection set aside by their parents for just them.

B) I know 2 adults over 30 and under 80 who volunteer on a regular basis. Of 140 of my 20-something Facebook friends (all of whom I know personally), at least 100 have sunk time and money into charitable organizations and causes. Many volunteer with me on a regular basis and plenty more help organize and run events for groups I'm not part of. None of them do it for graduation requirements, they simply enjoy helping people. We are not the minority: nowhere near it. There's a running joke on my campus of over 2000 students that if you can think of a cause, there's a Champlainer already working for it. SUNY Buffalo and UVM, both colleges where I have close friends, have even bigger volunteer/support communities and a larger audience for their message. Until "adults" in their 30s, 40s and 50s get off their asses and stop bitching about "kids today" and how everything is going to hell in a hand basket, you're the lazy, entitled whiners. As far as I can tell, we're the ones making this world a better place and fixing the messes you lot created.

Video games are not a "boys only" thing. I love video games. What's more, I love RPGs and, while I'm terrible at them, FPSs. Video games are a great destresser for people of both genders, not just boys. I will agree that parents (dads too) have a knee jerk reaction against gaming.