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SmackDown: Would You Let Your Tween Wear Makeup?
Filed under: Opinions, Tween Culture
Is there anything wrong with a little bit of lip gloss? Illustration by Dori Hartley
Forget the Face Paint and Let Kids Be Kids
by Amy Hatch
When I was in sixth grade, I was pretty tight with two other girls.
These girls were more sophisticated than I was at the time, and I remember very distinctly the day that one of them came to school sporting purple eye shadow. She whipped out the compact it came in, and flashed it to me and our other pal under her desk during reading class.
Two weeks later found me sobbing my eyes out, my head in my mother's lap, as I wailed out my anger and frustration about not being allowed to wear makeup yet. I was only 12 years old, and it was forbidden.
The two girls in question left me in the dust of baby-blue and purple sparkling powder, and I never quite forgot the betrayal.
So when I saw that Walmart is marketing a cosmetics line targeted to girls ages 8-12, I shuddered with horror -- because I can tell you right now, no 8-year-old of mine is ever going to be swiping shadow over her lids in reading class.
It seems counterintuitive to say that after my sad tale. But the ending of the story is that the two girls I wanted so badly to fit in with ran with a fast crowd all through middle school, junior high and high school.
Looking back, their antics were pretty tame, but their crowd wasn't right for me -- and my mother knew that, because she knew me.
A little lip gloss here and there isn't going to lead to a life of pole dancing. But our society has girls on an accelerated path toward adulthood. Don't believe me? Two words: Lindsay Lohan.
Or how about Miley Cyrus, just voted the worst celebrity influence in a poll conducted by ParentDish sister site, JSYK. Cyrus went from wholesome giggles as the star of "Hannah Montana" to taking bong hits.
My kid isn't a child star, but she does live in a world where children are hyper-sexualized. If you don't believe me, take a stroll through the mall one of these days and check out the skinny jeans in size 2T. Or the thongs for 12-year-olds.
And now, the makeup.
Kids should be allowed to be kids. Girls have a lifetime ahead of them of trying to meet an unnatural standard of beauty. They are bombarded with images that tell them that they aren't good enough, pretty enough or skinny enough.
Do we really want our 8-year-olds spending their time primping in front of a mirror with mascara and rouge?
What will they be doing when they're actual teenagers? Oh, wait, I know -- they'll be getting plastic surgery.
This is the absolute wrong message to send to our girls. My mother knew it way back in 1984, and I know it today.
Lip Gloss Doesn't Turn You Into a Lolita
by Lesley Kennedy
Growing up, I was definitely more tomboy than princess. I spent my tween-age summers at basketball camps, playing softball, roller skating and taking part in some seriously competitive neighborhood games of kick-the-can.
Still, around the age of 12, I began to develop an interest in the girlie side of life. I got subscriptions to Teen and Seventeen magazines. I talked my mom into buying me a crimping iron. And, for the first time, I bought makeup. Specifically, Bonne Bell Lip Smackers and blue eyeshadow.
And, (gulp!) 25 years since I bought that blue eyeshadow, tweens still want to wear makeup. Just look at all the brands aimed at the tween market. Starting in February, Walmart is set to launch GeoGirl, a 69-item collection, including everything from blush and mascara to lipstick and face shimmer. The mega-retailer already carries several other lines geared for tweens -- Disney Princesses, Lip Smackers, Lotta Luv, FAB Beauty and Crayola.
I'm fine with that.
When I was a tween, I couldn't wait to get home and get that blue shadow on my lids. Of course, I looked ridiculous. But you know what? Wearing it didn't make me a 12-year-old wine cooler-swilling tramp. It didn't make me feel like I was trying to be a mini-me of my then-idol, Olivia Newton-John. It didn't mean I was going to quit playing sports or caring about school or start dressing like a hair metal groupie.
It just meant I liked wearing makeup.
Now, with two daughters of my own, I don't freak out or panic when my girls want to play with makeup.
And, in a few years, when they're tweens and start to really get interested in wearing a swipe of lipgloss here or a swirl of blush there, I won't deny them.
Critics spout that allowing girls to wear makeup is terrible for their self-esteem. That it creates little Lolitas. That it sends "the wrong message."
I say, relax. Makeup, especially when you're a kid, is just fun.
Perhaps most of all, it's fun to pretend you're like your mom, taking part in her glamorous ritual. I will always joyfully remember moments spent watching my mother prep for an evening out, sitting at her vanity, when she would paint my own lips in the same color she used on herself.
Just because I will allow my daughters to wear lipgloss -- or even blue eyeshadow if they insist -- doesn't mean they'll immediately start painting their faces like child beauty pageant contestants, drag queens or circus clowns.
Teaching them a couple tricks -- and not acting like there's a huge stigma attached to makeup -- will keep them from going crazy with it.
And, maybe, with a little guidance, instead of sneaking makeup behind my back, we'll take a trip to Sephora together that will end up with my kids spending their allowances on sweet, root beer-flavored Lip Smackers and crazy nail polishes.
And less on blue eyeshadow.
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ReaderComments (Page 3 of 11)
2-03-2011 @ 9:41PM
Teenager30 said...I'm 15 years old now and I wear makeup. However, my mom never let me start wearing makeup (other than lipgloss and lipsmackers) until I was 12. At age 12 she let me start wearing light shadows (light blue, white, etc.). Then at 13 she let me wear mascara and she said I could wear eyeliner but I never did. I only started wearing eyeliner at age 14 and only on special occasions. And today I only wear mascara, coverup, and blush to school. My friends and I see these little 8 year olds walking around the mall with eachother covered in designer clothes and makeup. When I was 8... I wasn't even allowed to go to the mall without my mom and all of my clothes came from K-mart. I was just enjoying being a kid and having friends. It's crazy how grown up small kids are acting today. They are wasting their childhood.
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2-07-2011 @ 6:30PM
Cathy P Zazz said...From the time my girls were 2 I let them wear makeup AT HOME. They were not allowed to wear it out until they were in middle school (12). If you wait until they are 16 to wear make up, they have no practice and look like hookers! My girls were almost make up artists by the time they were 13 which made them look very nice and not over done.
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2-02-2011 @ 2:45PM
lisa said...As a professional make-up artist...the PAINT is a powerful tool. Young girls will lose themselves before they know who they are if they wear make-up to early! They need to learn to love themselves as they ARE FIRST before the war paint goes on. Make-up is a seduction to enhance eyes, cheeks and lips...under 15 is TOO young. Start asking around to the loose women you know, the girl at work with the extra button undone, the girl at the market with the shirt too tight, the 'Known Slut" in middle, jr. or high school...they started wearing make-up VERY early. It can alter a personality.
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2-02-2011 @ 2:49PM
tiffanie said...What's the harm? Girls want to be pretty and feminine, it's natural. Humans are shallow. I know I wanted nothing more than to wear makeup when I was, well, not 8, more like 11. I don't know about the lines made specifically for little girls though, they're usually made with weird, cheap ingredients.
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2-02-2011 @ 2:49PM
Tena said...There is no way on God's green earth I would let my daughter wear makeup before the age of 13. I think a little slightly pink lip gloss is okay, but that's not really makeup. Pink fingernails, sure. Other than those two things....no way.
Personally, at times I think even wearing makeup as a teenager is too early. I see teenage girls who look like 20-something hookers. Save makeup for when it is needed.
I often wonder who is in control....the parent or the child. Do parents not know how to be in charge any longer?
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2-02-2011 @ 2:52PM
susie said...make-up on anyone is a bizzarre thing to do..i feel sorry for women...trapped into doing allll sorts of odd things to themselves...when they already look fine...
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2-02-2011 @ 2:52PM
kaysings said...Makeup is appropriate for children and pre-teens only on Halloween or if they're onstage in a play or dance performance of some kind. Outside of that, it isn't.
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2-02-2011 @ 3:05PM
mtankgirl said...Ok, I saw this article and it made me mad. I read both sides of the argument and I had calmed down. I am nineteen years old and have a son. I know I don't even need to think about these things but I get so upset when I see little girls these days. I mean, just 7 years ago I was one of them. I remember girls in my fifth grade class having their first kisses. I, on the other hand, along with most of my school still had the idea that boys and girls had "cooties" and ran far away. Once I had entered the sixth grade things changed. I had grown up way too fast. I started wearing bras, heels, low cut tank tops, short shorts, and makeup. In the sixth grade I had changed from the tom boy to the "popular" girl. Fitting in meant dressing more and more provacitively. I think that in our society, today, it bothers me to see little girls wearing skinny jeans when my own friends and upper classmen still wear them. I think that we need to exclude fashion from schools. We have these rules that little girls can't wear this and that but the schools won't enforce it. I hate it when I walk through the mall and I see twelve year old girls walking around trying to find guys to talk to. Coming from someone who grew up partially in this generation, that is EXACTLY what they are doing. I did it myself with my friends plenty of times. We would lie about our age, and thought the makeup made that our appearance. I know that everyone wants to keep their babies young and for this, it is true. Let them play with makeup for fun. Don't let them wear it in public. But when you feel that it is okay for your daughter to wear makeup, make the decision and let them. I used to steal from the store to get makeup because I wasn't allowed to wear it either.
Also on another note, why is it that our tweens idols are such a bad influence. My idols (britney spears, spice girls, ect.) were just as bad, perhaps worse. I think that we should have a tighter leash on the content that we allow our kids to watch. I mean all the Hannah Montana show is about is her finding a boyfriend. It is things like relationships in movies and TV shows that I think make girls want to experiment earlier and earlier. All the TV shows that are targeted to tweens always have some sort of a relationship involved in it. Twilight, which I can't stand, is all about a girl and her boyfriend. Harry Potter on the other hand is about three friends conquering over evil, It focuses on good versus bad and the power of friendship. I think that we need to use more movies like this towards a younger gereration (tweens) and go ahead and bump the relationship stuff up to the teens. Why can't we have our tweens watching movies without kiss scenes?
If I have any more children I know I will dictate the content of what they wear and watch in order to preserve their youth and allow them to have fun and not grow up so fast.
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2-02-2011 @ 4:59PM
LuLu said...I dont see anything wrong with wearing skinny jeans, i wear skinny jeans and im a very conservative person. i dont schools should exclude fashion its up to the parents to stop their kids from wearing certain stuff, their job is not to monitor what children wear thats the parents job to enforce those type of things. Also if you need a bra in sixth grade then you need it i got my first bra when i was fifth grade (my chest grew fast) and im not growing up to fast, i am 13 and i also wear eyeliner just a little bit and i never had a boyfriend and dont plan to anytime soon. so saying that every kid that wears makeupp at a young age will turn out a skank is ignorant, im not saying alot of them do but not everybody does you have to give people a chance and stop stereotyping.
2-02-2011 @ 2:54PM
susie creamcheese said...im pretty sure if a woman had never been indoctrinated to wearing make-up and saw someone wearing it for the 1st time it would look pretty bizzarre to her
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2-02-2011 @ 2:55PM
suzie creamcheese said...like cleopatra looks ...wierd
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2-02-2011 @ 2:55PM
Nancy said...Let kids be kids.......they are expecting to act like adults too early.
Adulthood is not easy and for kids to act like adults is even harder. PARENTS,,,,,,where are you?
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2-02-2011 @ 2:58PM
Pam ter Gast said...LOLOL....of COURSE Walmart endorses this idiocy! "tots in tiaras" mentality..look at the pics of who shops at Walmart! Do you think they care????? Walmart is laughing all the way to the bank as they rake in the dough! Oh my god...Walmart sells guns...and now makeup for children...what a CLASS ACT!!!!!!!! And we want to change the attitudes in the Middle East??????
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2-02-2011 @ 2:58PM
suzie creamcheese said...isnt it strange that if a woman goes au natural like a man that shed be an outcast??
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2-02-2011 @ 4:01PM
Sasha said...I have two nieces, one is seven and the other, her older sister, is nine. Since they were able to walk on their own, they've been playing dress-up, putting on dresses and slip and pumps that were discarded by myself, their mother and other female family members. One day, they asked if we could paint their fingernails and toe nails. So we did. On another occasion, they asked if they could have some blush and lipstick...I swiped a little blush on each cheek and a little dab of lipstick to appease their princess playtime. They were probably three and five when they first wore makeup. To this day, they will sometimes wear makeup for large family functions...weddings, for example. But they are still just kids. After a storm, they play in the mud and the puddles. They still have sleepovers with friends and enjoy their coloring books and boards games like candy land. I think that if children are raised properly, then parents don't need to worry whether or not they will grow up too fast.
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2-02-2011 @ 3:00PM
suzie creamcheese said...and if you want to know why women are trapped like rats into wearing make-up among other odd things...jsut follow the money
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2-02-2011 @ 3:02PM
chckpope said...I think it should be illegal to advertise to anyone under 18yrs old. These marketing firms have become masters at manipulation and mind control, even more than the Nazi's. So to allow them to practice their trade on kids is criminal. As for make up and kids, that is just another grab at the parents wallets. What parent would want their 12yr. old looking like she's 18 yrs old. None unless they too have lost their minds. And you wonder why there is so much underage drinking, pregnancies and a whole variety of woes kids shouldn't be experiencing yet. Let these poor kids grow up before pushing your crap on them. An average child in America gets over 1,500 hrs. of advertising per year in one form or another. That is enough to brainwash anyone. Oh, did I mention we have a debt crisis. I wonder how that happened.
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2-03-2011 @ 7:33PM
daleallen23 said...My wife and I agreed that 6th grade (12) would be the start for make up. Even though as a dad I felt 25 was a good age.LOL There are too many perverts and pedifiles out there taking kids as it is that you don't need your 9 year old looking 17 and turning them on even more.
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2-02-2011 @ 3:04PM
suzie creamcheese said...IT IS THE BUSINESS OF THE COSMETICS INDUSTRY , AS WELL AS OTHERS, TO MAKE BOTH MEN AND WOMEN FEEL INADEQUATELY FAT OR BALD OR YELLOW TOOTHED OR PIMPLE FACED OR DUMB OR SMELLY OR OR UNACCEPTABLE UNLESS YOU BUY THEIR IDIOTIC PRODUCTS
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2-02-2011 @ 3:09PM
Rich said...Hell, NO nexr thing u know these stupid thinking parents will want to put em , on birth-control pills. they have no buss/ being parents.
look at Tom cruse., his lil girl has bad ankels due to them dumb shoes,,,,,,,,,,,GROW UP PARENTS
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