Father Loses 2 Young Children In Tornado
Why It's Hard To Get Along With Your In-Laws
SmackDown: Would You Let Your Tween Wear Makeup?
Filed under: Opinions, Tween Culture
Is there anything wrong with a little bit of lip gloss? Illustration by Dori Hartley
Forget the Face Paint and Let Kids Be Kids
by Amy Hatch
When I was in sixth grade, I was pretty tight with two other girls.
These girls were more sophisticated than I was at the time, and I remember very distinctly the day that one of them came to school sporting purple eye shadow. She whipped out the compact it came in, and flashed it to me and our other pal under her desk during reading class.
Two weeks later found me sobbing my eyes out, my head in my mother's lap, as I wailed out my anger and frustration about not being allowed to wear makeup yet. I was only 12 years old, and it was forbidden.
The two girls in question left me in the dust of baby-blue and purple sparkling powder, and I never quite forgot the betrayal.
So when I saw that Walmart is marketing a cosmetics line targeted to girls ages 8-12, I shuddered with horror -- because I can tell you right now, no 8-year-old of mine is ever going to be swiping shadow over her lids in reading class.
It seems counterintuitive to say that after my sad tale. But the ending of the story is that the two girls I wanted so badly to fit in with ran with a fast crowd all through middle school, junior high and high school.
Looking back, their antics were pretty tame, but their crowd wasn't right for me -- and my mother knew that, because she knew me.
A little lip gloss here and there isn't going to lead to a life of pole dancing. But our society has girls on an accelerated path toward adulthood. Don't believe me? Two words: Lindsay Lohan.
Or how about Miley Cyrus, just voted the worst celebrity influence in a poll conducted by ParentDish sister site, JSYK. Cyrus went from wholesome giggles as the star of "Hannah Montana" to taking bong hits.
My kid isn't a child star, but she does live in a world where children are hyper-sexualized. If you don't believe me, take a stroll through the mall one of these days and check out the skinny jeans in size 2T. Or the thongs for 12-year-olds.
And now, the makeup.
Kids should be allowed to be kids. Girls have a lifetime ahead of them of trying to meet an unnatural standard of beauty. They are bombarded with images that tell them that they aren't good enough, pretty enough or skinny enough.
Do we really want our 8-year-olds spending their time primping in front of a mirror with mascara and rouge?
What will they be doing when they're actual teenagers? Oh, wait, I know -- they'll be getting plastic surgery.
This is the absolute wrong message to send to our girls. My mother knew it way back in 1984, and I know it today.
Lip Gloss Doesn't Turn You Into a Lolita
by Lesley Kennedy
Growing up, I was definitely more tomboy than princess. I spent my tween-age summers at basketball camps, playing softball, roller skating and taking part in some seriously competitive neighborhood games of kick-the-can.
Still, around the age of 12, I began to develop an interest in the girlie side of life. I got subscriptions to Teen and Seventeen magazines. I talked my mom into buying me a crimping iron. And, for the first time, I bought makeup. Specifically, Bonne Bell Lip Smackers and blue eyeshadow.
And, (gulp!) 25 years since I bought that blue eyeshadow, tweens still want to wear makeup. Just look at all the brands aimed at the tween market. Starting in February, Walmart is set to launch GeoGirl, a 69-item collection, including everything from blush and mascara to lipstick and face shimmer. The mega-retailer already carries several other lines geared for tweens -- Disney Princesses, Lip Smackers, Lotta Luv, FAB Beauty and Crayola.
I'm fine with that.
When I was a tween, I couldn't wait to get home and get that blue shadow on my lids. Of course, I looked ridiculous. But you know what? Wearing it didn't make me a 12-year-old wine cooler-swilling tramp. It didn't make me feel like I was trying to be a mini-me of my then-idol, Olivia Newton-John. It didn't mean I was going to quit playing sports or caring about school or start dressing like a hair metal groupie.
It just meant I liked wearing makeup.
Now, with two daughters of my own, I don't freak out or panic when my girls want to play with makeup.
And, in a few years, when they're tweens and start to really get interested in wearing a swipe of lipgloss here or a swirl of blush there, I won't deny them.
Critics spout that allowing girls to wear makeup is terrible for their self-esteem. That it creates little Lolitas. That it sends "the wrong message."
I say, relax. Makeup, especially when you're a kid, is just fun.
Perhaps most of all, it's fun to pretend you're like your mom, taking part in her glamorous ritual. I will always joyfully remember moments spent watching my mother prep for an evening out, sitting at her vanity, when she would paint my own lips in the same color she used on herself.
Just because I will allow my daughters to wear lipgloss -- or even blue eyeshadow if they insist -- doesn't mean they'll immediately start painting their faces like child beauty pageant contestants, drag queens or circus clowns.
Teaching them a couple tricks -- and not acting like there's a huge stigma attached to makeup -- will keep them from going crazy with it.
And, maybe, with a little guidance, instead of sneaking makeup behind my back, we'll take a trip to Sephora together that will end up with my kids spending their allowances on sweet, root beer-flavored Lip Smackers and crazy nail polishes.
And less on blue eyeshadow.
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
- Why should anyone listen to a _____, what makes her an expert? Harpo is jus an actress, all she does is sit on her tush & claim she knows it all. ...
- If i own all or most of the property in dc think the mayor already knows. president and others including Embassies. on my property for 20 +years
- Copyright royaly board understanding building a radio or tv (song sound good got your own radio)?
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Perfect Makeup for Kids
WatchMojo makeup artist Lisa Sim demonstrates how to apply safe and natural makeup on children for special occasions or when you want to play dress-up.
-
Halloween How-To: Kids' Costumes With YouTube Star Madison
YouTube sensation Madison shows us her favorite Halloween costumes, and of course, makeup! Watch her put together four looks for kids.
-
Angelina Jolie on Kids Visiting the Salt Set
Angelina Jolie reveals her kids loved playing with the gory makeup on the set of Salt when they came to visit her.
-
Back to School Beauty Survival Guide
It's back to school time and whether you're a teen, college student or mom preparing for her kids, celebrity makeup artist Amy Oresman and beauty guru Jenn Falik have the perfect back to school survival guide.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 7 of 11)
2-02-2011 @ 4:39PM
Candid Camera said...Unfortunately, 11 and 12 year old boys aren't the only ones noticing this trend. Do I think this is the only reason child predators are so successful? No! Opportunity is every where. I would argue in favor of more parental participation and boundaries. Quit giving in to any and every trend. Walmart or any store will offer products as long as there is a demand. We are being tolerant for the sake of tolerance with nothing taboo any more. Let the girl be a girl. Tween? How many other words will we invent to altar a standard? Don't be afraid to be a parent. You are not supposed to be their best friend. Someone has to be the adult. Why should it be your 12 year old who looks older because of the make-up? Serve a little cheese with that "whine" and tell her she's too young and just because "all" her friends are doing it doesn't mean she has to. You are "her" parent not all her friends' parent.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:40PM
frogosopher said...Folks:
To equivocate. Know what it means? To speak with many tongues!
That's you morons who try to justify everything...to PC even sickness.
Grow up. Let kids be kids...they'll have enough trouble when they become adults.
Frog
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:41PM
devils666advocate said...I love when those little hotties wear makeup, especially on a hot summer day when they wear the short denim skirts and I get a peek at their panties at the park when they sit on the swingset.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:41PM
David S. said...Hell, some parents -- usually mothers -- put enough make-up on their little girls to look like hookers, like the Little Miss Perfect pageants. Ugh. Mothers trying to turn their daughters into beauty pageant contestants is just creepy to me.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:43PM
Mark said...I heard a term once "Prostitots" what a shame our country has become so vain!
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:44PM
dibigmtn said...Make up should only be used to enhance the natural beauty we already have for photo's, black tie events and theatrical. Take the time to stroll back into history when women were fat and never dieted and were excepted, the rich and famous elitics left there new borns on door steps for some else to take care of so their namesake wouldn't be shamed and worse of all is the cover up's when a parent or family member abuse children sexually and was never punished. So think about that for awhile when you think young girls wish to express themselves through makeup.
If young tweens want to express themselves, let them with your approval of guidence. Wake up folks they are growing up. If every parent took the time about the issues they complain about, your children might not think the opposite and except your judgement for approval. I have 5 grand daughters who I taught how to where makeup and the difference of day makeup to evening makeup.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 5:27PM
Samantha said...My mom didn't let me wear make-up till I was in junior high and it was very little. I also couldn't date till I was 15. :) Which looking back was early enough because being a kid is so much fun and you only get one shot. I long for the days when my skin didn't need make-up and wish I could go back. Little girls have so much pressure on them already let's just stick to chapstick and clothes that look like they belong on a little girl.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 7:51PM
Hope said...My mother started letting me wear makeup when I was about 12. What she did was take me to a makeup artist event at the cosmetics counter at Macy's. The makeup artist picked out appropriate makeup for me and showed me how to apply it. So by the time I began high school, I had the hang of makeup. I was one of the few freshmen girls that didn't look like a clown. Having my mom sit down with me each morning and help me apply my lipgloss was a great way for us to bond as mother and daughter.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:49PM
Wednesday said...Hell no. If they are allowed to wear make up at that age, we might as well dress them in a short skirt and stand them on the corner. Kids are way too anxious to grow up too soon.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:51PM
lisa said...my daughter is seven; for christmas she got a make-up kit along with a few nail polishes; lip gloss and light colored eyeshadows; i dont mind the nail polish a bit; i"ve been polishing her nails for awhile now- she is a GIRL. no crazy; or dark colors; that i dont see a thing wrong with.the lip gloss i will let her wear if its put on very lightly; plus its sheer. the eyeshadow was a differnt story here at home if her & a friend wanted to put some on she"ll ask me shes not leaving the house; but on vacation she wanted to bring her make-up case; "oh i dont know" i said; we went to a place on the beach; & when you go into town you see people; of ALL AGES dressed up like its mardi gras. so; i did let her put a little eyeshadow on; lip gloss; only cuz it was all in fun; we were on vacation! come to find out her 10 yr old friend who came with us had a little bit of everything on her face; she"de brought her own "kit"..it wasnt dark- just a little color; so i didnt say anything.i agree kids are growing up to fast now days; but this subject; if we keep it in check; its just common sense really. i have a brother in law whos so strict he wont let his 6 yr old daughter paint her nails; which i think is ridiclious. {he:de never make it w/me lol}. :)
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 5:12PM
Liz said...I am so glad to hear from dreaming donna she is right on. When I see children wearing make up I feel sad. When I was 10 I was still playing with my friends and being creative aND HAD SO MUCH FUN. lET THEM BE CHILDREN. sAYING no IS noT the USED ANYMORE.
sORRY ABOUT THE LETTERS I AM HAVING STICKEY KEYS. I JUST WANT TO WARN MOTHERS IF YOUR CHILDREN AR4E WEARING MAKE UP TO SCHOOL BEWARE YOUNG AND OLD GUYS COULD FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE. WE ARE LIVING IN DANGEROUS TIMES
WE HAVE TOO MANY GIRLS MISSING.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:53PM
ycplum said...First, in the interest of full disclosure: male, not married, no kids.
It seems AH is "letting" kids be kids, but forcing them to be kids. But that isn't what this article is about. With that said, I think kids can "play" make-up, but shouldn't be "using" make up at that age. What is teh difference you say? When using make up, you are presenting yourself in a certain way, very often an adult way. For teens, the line is blurred and often mobile. Eight year olds are not even remotely ready.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:57PM
brooke said...im 12 almost 13 and i have been wearing makeup since i was 11. i dont do any thing crazy just mascara and some brown eyeshadow. I dont see the reason why its such a big deal! i agree that 8 and 9 is to young to start wearing it. But this really shouldnt be a big deal! There are a lot of brands out there that are aimed at younger kids!
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 5:13PM
MKChicago said...Definitely too young at 12, and, how safe are these cosmetics/chemicals they are applying to their skin? Drugstore and department store cosmetics are loaded with carcinogens that increase the risk of cancer. Why use them at all let alone start our daughters early?
I am a user of various different brands of cosmetics, Chanel, Lancome, Dior, Revlon, Covergirl and if you research these and/or their ingredients on www.cosmeticdatabase.com you will stop using them and move to non-carcinogenic products.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 4:59PM
debi said.......i don't know of too many little girls through the ages who have NOT wanted to mess with make-up and play dress-up for crying out loud!!!!....including my 9 1/2 yr old gran'daughter.....what's the big whoop? she does very well at light/moderate and anything more than that has been modified to HOW it should be worn. does she wear it everyday? sure don't, does she experment and like to experment? absolutely!!! she's a girl!!!!! ground work is being laid for how it SHOULD be worn and not like it IS worn by grown women!!!
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 5:01PM
Sara said...This is obviously a hot topic; and I think I am in the minority here. I see nothing wrong with letting girls 10-16 and older wear make up. Now, that being said, I do think that less is more. Moderation is the key. Yes, young girls can have self esteem problems; but I think that if you teach them that make up is not to cover up their beauty but meant as an accessory; such as a ring or a necklace. When they associate the make up with having to do it; there is a problem. If you make it this forbidden land of glitter and pinks and blues and purples; it makes it that much more alluring. They will no doubt dabble behind your back when you restrain them so much; and when they have to do it in secret other things will be done in secret. I think parents should have an open connection with their children; especially young girls. I am in no way saying to paint them up like clowns; but maybe some sheer gloss here....pale pink blush....beige eye shadow there. Usually it can't even be noticed but they will feel beautiful while also looking natural. My last point to make is that someone made the comment that they plan to wait until their daughter is sixteen to wear make-up. I want to be polite and not offend anyone; but girls can have acne breakouts around ages 12-15 before they are allowed to wear make up. It can be devasting to teen girls with a blemish on their face and not be allowed to hide it. As someone who has to cover facial scars; believe when I say it will crush their self esteem if they have to face the other girls their age with "clear" skin. Please just consider, if nothing else, allowing some concealer if there is a such instance.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 5:13PM
anita said...well kids are kids not minnie adults let them be kids for dress up or a slumber party its fun to play with make up for myself not before 14 then i would take her to a makeup artist to learn how to apply it properly especially considering that i myself never wore much makeup heck my idea of lipstick is chapstick and thats cause i dont like chapped lips heck i dont even know how to USE a curling iron never mind own one so hair and makeup im kinda usless with but generally my rule of thumb is less is more kids grow up too fast as it is these days why not let them be kids as long as they can
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 5:17PM
Stan said...Do they really NEED make-up at that age? I don't think so,but the earlier they start, the more they will need it later in life.I say let the natural beauty shine thru till the ugly shows up,then add make up as needed.
Reply
2-02-2011 @ 5:15PM
St said...Girls under 13 should not wear make-up. There's no need for it. In fact, make that 15.
When they're 16, they want to look older. When they're 50, they want to look younger ! LOL
Reply
2-03-2011 @ 9:46AM
Kenneth Reed said...I think that with all of the stuff they are putting in to our food and milk, kids today are growing up to fast. I had someone come over to the house to pick up something. The daughter looked older than the mom. Eye shadow, lipstick, I thought that she must have been about 19-20. I found out later she was 12. Nuff said
Reply