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Is making your kid drink hot sauce child abuse? Illustration by Dori Hartley
Hot Sauce Doesn't Constitute Child Abuse
by Tom Henderson
Ohmigod! Another child killed by hot sauce! When will this madness end?!
Oh, wait. A mother in Anchorage, Alaska, punished her son by forcing him to drink hot sauce, but he didn't actually die. Yet 36-year-old Jessica Beagley has been arrested for ... for ... what?
Felonious hot saucing?
Granted, forcing your 7-year-old son to take a cold shower and drink hot sauce comes right off a page from of Dr. Evil's Guide to Child Rearing. However, it's an old book.
My father got a mouth full of hot sauce during the '30s and '40s if he so much as thought about the F word. My mother was more enlightened and progressive. She made me take a swig of Woolite. This was after I psyched her out by saying Dial soap tasted good.
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child," Proverbs 22:15 tells us. "But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Our forebears took that passage seriously. And hot sauce is a dandy substitute if the rod of correction isn't handy. Such, uh, creative brands of punishment are no longer in vogue, but that doesn't mean they are criminal. Our parents and grandparents somehow managed to survive to maturity.
Personally, I would never resort to such harsh punishments. Psychological torture is much more effective -- and fun. Yet I think we should tread lightly when applying our standards to others.
Beagley got in trouble after she sent a tape of what she did to her 7-year-old son Kristoff to -- of all people -- Dr. Phil McGraw. He showed it to the world on a segment called "Mommy Confessions." The studio audience turned into a veritable barnyard of clucking chickens.
"Dr. Phil, no one in this audience can stay in our seats," Areva Martin, a family attorney and child advocate, said during the show. "We're just appalled at this. We're looking at this little boy who seems so sweet and innocent, and we're looking at this behavior as moms. We're just shocked."
Audience members were not alone. Viewers across the country flooded the Anchorage Police Department with calls for Beagley's arrest. Police obliged the angry mob, charging Beagley with child abuse.
"Nothing Jessica has done is criminal, Bill Ingaldson, a lawyer for Beagley, tells ABC News. "If you give your child food that has hot sauce on it -- maybe they eat Mexican food -- does that mean its child abuse?"
Good point. There is a fine line between child abuse and strict punishment. Wherever it's drawn, it should be by competent legal authorities after a thorough investigation, not a bunch of a reactionary hens clucking about something they saw on "Dr. Phil."
A television audience is not a courtroom jury.
Few people even spank their kids nowadays. I have spanked my own son exactly twice. Both times he was in imminent danger, and there was no time to explain the situation to a crib dweller whose vocabulary didn't extend far beyond "goo goo." I have also grabbed him by his short collar a time or two, but that's been it in terms of physical punishment.
However, I know if I pulled half my son's shenanigans when I was a lad, I would have found myself on a one-way flight across the living room courtesy of Dad Airlines. And my dad is about the sweetest guy in the world. But standards change.
Yesterday's stern punishment is today's child abuse. We shouldn't jail someone just because she's behind the curve.
Not all change is good. We might be kinder, gentler parents than our forebears. However, we seem to have lost our grasp on what -- and is not -- any of our damn business. Reality TV and talk shows like "Dr. Phil" apparently make us think we have a license to judge.
Beagley clearly sent the tape to Dr. Phil not to brag, but to seek help. She mistakenly thought she would get it. Instead, she was scorned and ridiculed as the latest freak in our ongoing national sideshow.
Her biggest crime was not forcing Kristoff to drink hot sauce. My guess? He'll survive. He might have a few therapy bills later on, but who among us reaches adulthood without baggage?
No, Beagley's biggest crime was looking for help from a nation of reactionary and judgmental busybodies.
Save the Hot Sauce for Her Lawyer and Dr. Phil
by Jennifer Mattern
At the very least, Jessica Beagley (a.k.a. "Hot Sauce Mom") needs a new lawyer, one capable of issuing a statement that is not completely inane.
"Nothing Jessica has done is criminal. If you give your child food that has hot sauce on it -- maybe they eat Mexican food -- does this mean it's child abuse?" Bill Ingaldson, Beagley's lawyer, tells ABC.
I'd love to hear Ingaldson argue the pros of waterboarding at Guantánamo Bay: "Nothing the U.S. government has done is criminal. If you take your prisoners to a waterpark -- maybe they like the Roaring Rapids -- does this mean it's prisoner abuse?"
A proffered taste of Mexican food does not equal a bottle of hot sauce forced into a sobbing child's mouth. (I could argue that Taco Bell is abuse for the whole family, but that's another SmackDown entirely.)
Let's back up: If you haven't heard, Beagley, a 36-year-old mother of six from Alaska, was recently charged with child abuse and arrested, following a November appearance on "Dr. Phil." The segment, called "Mommy Confessions," featured home video of Beagley screaming and shaming her 7-year-old adopted son, Kristoff, by pouring hot sauce into his mouth as consequence for telling lies, then forcing the child to strip and climb into an ice-cold shower. She confessed that she is angry at her son "all the time" and has tried numerous methods to punish him, to no avail.
I watched the video, submitted freely to Dr. Phil by Beagley herself. Three things occurred to me: 1) Appearing on "Dr. Phil" in a video showcasing your worst parenting moment is never a super-savvy move; 2) None of us would look fantastic on home video captured during our worst parenting moment; and, 3) This is a mom who is aware that she needs help and is aware she is doing damage -- or she wouldn't have agreed to ask Dr. Phil for his dubious "help."
I'm not in the business of vilifying other parents. Parenting is a dirty job, and at various times, every parent makes a damn mess of it. But I don't believe that hauling her ass into court is going to address this incredibly sad matter at its core. Using hot sauce and cold showers on a regular basis to discipline a child is repugnant, certainly. But there are two issues in play that are far more sobering to consider than the act itself: How did the ugly dynamic between Beagley and her son escalate to this point? And what will the consequences of her extreme corporal punishment be in the long-term?
There are no published studies available on the far-reaching consequences of hot-sauce-and-cold-shower discipline. But the cons of physical discipline are well documented. Take your pick. In a 2009 study conducted by Duke University and other top universities, researchers found that when parents' use of physical discipline continues through childhood, they're far more likely to have serious behavior problems by the time they become teens.
In addition, corporal punishment actually creates more aggression in children, according to a 2004 study by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health "[S]tudies showed that corporal punishment was linked with difficulties later in life ... the study takes into account other possible explanations for aggressive behavior such as violence between parents and maternal depression, drug abuse and neglect. It does, however, point to the explanation that spanking is the biggest factor that contributes to a child's aggressive behavior," the study states.
The studies of sociologist and family researcher Murray A. Straus suggest this common-sense conclusion: "When a parent resorts to physical punishment and the child does not comply, the parent increases the severity of the punishment, eventually harming the child."
Jessica Beagley and her son are caught up in a devastating cycle of abuse. This family needs counseling, stat -- and not of the sensationalist Dr. Phil variety.
I'll finish up with a quote from my favorite child psychology expert, my 10-year-old daughter:
"One spank is one spank. But being shoved into a freezing shower and getting hot sauce poured in your mouth makes you afraid of your mother. The results are just pain. Their throat would burn. And they could choke. They lose trust. And that's really hard to get back."











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 29)
2-01-2011 @ 3:11PM
Heather said...Tom did you watch the show?
This woman did go to far. I know people who use hot sauce. The one they have is mild the brand she used is not. It also wasn't just a drop it was quite a lot. The cold shower is just cruel. The consequence did not match the crime. Yes he has behavioral issue but I wonder why that is. Look how he is being treated. This mom was just mean, there was no lesson taught , she wasn't dealing with the issue she was just being mean.
Reply
2-01-2011 @ 8:16PM
Shicky said...Inflicting pain on a child, on YOUR child, especially is NOT an appropriate way to teach the child a valuable lesson!!! How about taking a dessert away, making them go to bed early, grounding them from tv or video games or the computer?? WTH is wrong with people these days? That lady looked like the lady off of Mommy Dearest!! How fitting! That is just so cruel what she did with the hot sauce and it will be detrimental for the child. The cold shower was not good either! The child will never feel secure with anyone and never trust his mom! What a shame!
2-01-2011 @ 8:33PM
Audrey said...I don't like this Http://www.childrenshealthsecrets.com form of punishment, I don't care what they did a long time ago.
2-01-2011 @ 9:17PM
Roberta said...Yes Heather!! I cannot believe how sick some people are to think any form of abuse can be rationalized!! If these disgusting people did the same things to someone else other than their children they would be charged and punished. Discipline requires love and respect. A child that has to grow up with that kind of hurt and anger will NOT become a model citizen. They become angry adults! Is that really so hard to understand??? Check out the past of everyone in prison. They were ABUSED as children...not taught respect and caring!
2-01-2011 @ 9:27PM
Mark Sappenfield said...How do you know he lied? You're just projecting your thoughts and feelings into a situation you know nothing about.
2-01-2011 @ 9:30PM
JG said...I do not justify this women's actions, but you have no idea what people do to their children for punishment and this is nothing compared to what others have done. She was just brave enough to seek help in a country full of selflessness. Look at the big picture, not what is immediately presented.
2-01-2011 @ 9:41PM
exoticdoc2 said...We're killing babies by the millions worldwide, illegal aliens are flooding across our open border to the south and committing crimes and costing us billions, the economy is in collapse, and the authorities are out there arresting a mom for making her kid eat hot sauce? Priorities, pleas, you nimrods.
2-01-2011 @ 9:42PM
snackcak said...And we wonder why these kids are out of control. I say if the government wants to take away disciple in the house then quit complaining its the parents fault when the kids act up. wake up idiots
2-01-2011 @ 9:45PM
Mezz22 said...She should be made to drink the hot sauce and take a cold or even better scaulding hot shower. She is not a parent she is a dictator a monster who doesnt deserve those kids. What's with the 10 year old shooting the video? She should of known right from wrong and gotten another adult to help that poor boy. That child needs love not punishment. I hope she goes to jail and rots there!
2-01-2011 @ 10:12PM
Lorrie said...Well hot sauce is not bad enfact I used it on my daughter when she was little because who knows whats in the soap and guess what she loved the stuff so after that she got her little but spanked and sent to bed, and guess what again I have raise a very well behind young women who has 3 great kids that don't get into trouble and she and my son were never in trouble unlike some of my other relatives kids who hapen to be in prison.
2-02-2011 @ 9:08PM
Ed said...Wow...The physical rod of discipline was never spared in my house when I was growing up. If I acted out my father put me back in my place quickly. And at my grandparents house? If I was disrespectful in any way, shape or form...out came the hot sauce! Am I maniacle killer on parole with a criminal record? No. Im a 34 year old Electrical Engineer earning a very good salary and have NEVER been in trouble with the law. My father wasn't supposed to be my friend, he was supposed to be my father. My level of respect and drive for success is owed all to him for the way I was raised and disciplined. Kids need to be put in line so they can be upstanding citizens and not privleged delinquints...Thanks Dad
2-01-2011 @ 10:26PM
jessica said...GIVE ME A BREAK!!! That woman did NOT make her child "drink a bottle" or even "drink half a bottle" of hot sauce. Did you bashers even WATCH the video?! She gave a little squirt of hot sauce in his mouth. I also got the same amount of hot sauce in my mouth if I mouthed off to my mother and I was even younger than seven! Get OVER yourself! No wonder there are so many jerks in this world. They never received the consequences as a child!
2-01-2011 @ 11:11PM
Marti said...I'm a mother of six also. I have used spanking occassionally. I find a timeout is more effective. After their timeout, I discuss what happened and let them talk to me about how they felt. I then let them know exactly what BEHAVIOR I didn't like and then let them know how much I still LOVE them. This works in my home but I would be lying if I said I didn't lose it sometimes. I hope all will have more compassion and forgiveness to this woman who is seeking help.
2-01-2011 @ 11:29PM
BTDT said...Arrest Dr. Phil for chronic douchebaggery.
2-01-2011 @ 11:34PM
Kate said...This woman is a beast! I hope she is punished to the full extent of
the law. I watched the show that she was on and I cried. I don't cry
very often but it was just so terrible to watch and to listen to that
poor little boy scream and cry. I don't even like children very much,
but this was just wrong, she is a bully!
2-02-2011 @ 12:31AM
Eili said...First of all I am a victim of the "hot sauce" punishment, on numerous occassions, my old fashioned grandmother would use that as a form of punishment for cursing. Being the hyper child that I was, a beating was not suffice, but hot sauce!! i learned my lesson very quickly.
What gets me aggrivated is that we as parents have our own way of disciplining our children, dont get me wrong I am strongly against child abuse, but for all you moms in here commenting on how bad of a mother she is, would watching a video of her beating the living crap out of her kid be better for you to watch???
I didnt think so. Yea, the cold shower might have been a little far fetched, but a "hot sauce punishment" being accused of child abuse??? C'mon, I am sure if we took a video camera and tapped about 90% of parents who "discipline" their children (based on the worlds opinions) atleast 89% of those people would be thrown in jail being accused of "child abuse".
According to the world today if you as a parent so much as flicks your child in public you get the "look". I say people need to mind their own dam buisness about what goes on behind the doors of others. (granted she did publicize the video)
But all in all, unless that video was of her brutally beating her child to death, (and although i would never use this form of punishment on my own child, because I experienced it) I dont see anything wrong with the "hot sauce" punishment.
2-01-2011 @ 11:42PM
raejon75 said...Has anyone noticed that crimes rates have increased exponentially over the years, as the number of parents who actually discipline their children (and no...a time out does not count) goes down. It's funny too me how our grandparents, the ones whose morals and values and life lessons we so eagerly look to, envy and emulate... are the ones whose hind-parts were spanked red, mouths were washed out with soap, ears were "boxed" and lips were pinched...on a very regular basis
2-02-2011 @ 12:30AM
Gabe said...I think you should have been beaten more as a child. Hot sauce really? Is this really too far people? Do you really think, that this mom, got up that morning and thought to herself, "Hey, I'm going to make my kid eat hot sauce, take a cold shower, for no reason, and send it in to Dr. Phil just for shits and gigs??" The answer is no. The kid obviously deserved it. What would you have done? I seriously doubt that telling the kid "No." would solve anything, he would do it again. Then what? If the kid doesn't like eating hot sauce or taking really cold showers, he won't be bad again. This is how you learn people. It's called parenting, not abuse. If you think this is too far for your kids, man there are a lot worse. If you do far less than this to your kids, then you are a bad parent, who will infest this world with spoiled little children, pissing people off and getting beat up for it. Then you will sue because you won't take responsibility for your own awful parenting and then repeat. This is ruining our generations to come.
2-02-2011 @ 12:37AM
Tom said...To Roberta: Are you a total idiot, or have you not yet reached the age of 12 and have years to reach that status?
From where do you gather your "data" on society?
From the grocery-store check-out line?
I'm 57 yo, was properly punished as a child when I deserved it, and have never been committed of a felony or another crime (other than traffic violations), so tell me how I could not grow up to be a model citizen.
From what planet are you?
Do you get pleasure from trying to pass judgement on everyone else every day?
You are so sad.
2-02-2011 @ 12:39AM
kayla barton said...that woman should not be a parent. There is punishment and there is abuse....obviously this is not a grey area..her use of force was rediculous. I have tried very hard to put myself in this woman's shoes, i am also a parent, but i cannot even come close to understanding or supporting her abusive methods.