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SmackDown: Would You Make Your Kid Drink Hot Sauce as Punishment?
Filed under: Opinions
Is making your kid drink hot sauce child abuse? Illustration by Dori Hartley
Hot Sauce Doesn't Constitute Child Abuse
by Tom Henderson
Ohmigod! Another child killed by hot sauce! When will this madness end?!
Oh, wait. A mother in Anchorage, Alaska, punished her son by forcing him to drink hot sauce, but he didn't actually die. Yet 36-year-old Jessica Beagley has been arrested for ... for ... what?
Felonious hot saucing?
Granted, forcing your 7-year-old son to take a cold shower and drink hot sauce comes right off a page from of Dr. Evil's Guide to Child Rearing. However, it's an old book.
My father got a mouth full of hot sauce during the '30s and '40s if he so much as thought about the F word. My mother was more enlightened and progressive. She made me take a swig of Woolite. This was after I psyched her out by saying Dial soap tasted good.
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child," Proverbs 22:15 tells us. "But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Our forebears took that passage seriously. And hot sauce is a dandy substitute if the rod of correction isn't handy. Such, uh, creative brands of punishment are no longer in vogue, but that doesn't mean they are criminal. Our parents and grandparents somehow managed to survive to maturity.
Personally, I would never resort to such harsh punishments. Psychological torture is much more effective -- and fun. Yet I think we should tread lightly when applying our standards to others.
Beagley got in trouble after she sent a tape of what she did to her 7-year-old son Kristoff to -- of all people -- Dr. Phil McGraw. He showed it to the world on a segment called "Mommy Confessions." The studio audience turned into a veritable barnyard of clucking chickens.
"Dr. Phil, no one in this audience can stay in our seats," Areva Martin, a family attorney and child advocate, said during the show. "We're just appalled at this. We're looking at this little boy who seems so sweet and innocent, and we're looking at this behavior as moms. We're just shocked."
Audience members were not alone. Viewers across the country flooded the Anchorage Police Department with calls for Beagley's arrest. Police obliged the angry mob, charging Beagley with child abuse.
"Nothing Jessica has done is criminal, Bill Ingaldson, a lawyer for Beagley, tells ABC News. "If you give your child food that has hot sauce on it -- maybe they eat Mexican food -- does that mean its child abuse?"
Good point. There is a fine line between child abuse and strict punishment. Wherever it's drawn, it should be by competent legal authorities after a thorough investigation, not a bunch of a reactionary hens clucking about something they saw on "Dr. Phil."
A television audience is not a courtroom jury.
Few people even spank their kids nowadays. I have spanked my own son exactly twice. Both times he was in imminent danger, and there was no time to explain the situation to a crib dweller whose vocabulary didn't extend far beyond "goo goo." I have also grabbed him by his short collar a time or two, but that's been it in terms of physical punishment.
However, I know if I pulled half my son's shenanigans when I was a lad, I would have found myself on a one-way flight across the living room courtesy of Dad Airlines. And my dad is about the sweetest guy in the world. But standards change.
Yesterday's stern punishment is today's child abuse. We shouldn't jail someone just because she's behind the curve.
Not all change is good. We might be kinder, gentler parents than our forebears. However, we seem to have lost our grasp on what -- and is not -- any of our damn business. Reality TV and talk shows like "Dr. Phil" apparently make us think we have a license to judge.
Beagley clearly sent the tape to Dr. Phil not to brag, but to seek help. She mistakenly thought she would get it. Instead, she was scorned and ridiculed as the latest freak in our ongoing national sideshow.
Her biggest crime was not forcing Kristoff to drink hot sauce. My guess? He'll survive. He might have a few therapy bills later on, but who among us reaches adulthood without baggage?
No, Beagley's biggest crime was looking for help from a nation of reactionary and judgmental busybodies.
Save the Hot Sauce for Her Lawyer and Dr. Phil
by Jennifer Mattern
At the very least, Jessica Beagley (a.k.a. "Hot Sauce Mom") needs a new lawyer, one capable of issuing a statement that is not completely inane.
"Nothing Jessica has done is criminal. If you give your child food that has hot sauce on it -- maybe they eat Mexican food -- does this mean it's child abuse?" Bill Ingaldson, Beagley's lawyer, tells ABC.
I'd love to hear Ingaldson argue the pros of waterboarding at Guantánamo Bay: "Nothing the U.S. government has done is criminal. If you take your prisoners to a waterpark -- maybe they like the Roaring Rapids -- does this mean it's prisoner abuse?"
A proffered taste of Mexican food does not equal a bottle of hot sauce forced into a sobbing child's mouth. (I could argue that Taco Bell is abuse for the whole family, but that's another SmackDown entirely.)
Let's back up: If you haven't heard, Beagley, a 36-year-old mother of six from Alaska, was recently charged with child abuse and arrested, following a November appearance on "Dr. Phil." The segment, called "Mommy Confessions," featured home video of Beagley screaming and shaming her 7-year-old adopted son, Kristoff, by pouring hot sauce into his mouth as consequence for telling lies, then forcing the child to strip and climb into an ice-cold shower. She confessed that she is angry at her son "all the time" and has tried numerous methods to punish him, to no avail.
I watched the video, submitted freely to Dr. Phil by Beagley herself. Three things occurred to me: 1) Appearing on "Dr. Phil" in a video showcasing your worst parenting moment is never a super-savvy move; 2) None of us would look fantastic on home video captured during our worst parenting moment; and, 3) This is a mom who is aware that she needs help and is aware she is doing damage -- or she wouldn't have agreed to ask Dr. Phil for his dubious "help."
I'm not in the business of vilifying other parents. Parenting is a dirty job, and at various times, every parent makes a damn mess of it. But I don't believe that hauling her ass into court is going to address this incredibly sad matter at its core. Using hot sauce and cold showers on a regular basis to discipline a child is repugnant, certainly. But there are two issues in play that are far more sobering to consider than the act itself: How did the ugly dynamic between Beagley and her son escalate to this point? And what will the consequences of her extreme corporal punishment be in the long-term?
There are no published studies available on the far-reaching consequences of hot-sauce-and-cold-shower discipline. But the cons of physical discipline are well documented. Take your pick. In a 2009 study conducted by Duke University and other top universities, researchers found that when parents' use of physical discipline continues through childhood, they're far more likely to have serious behavior problems by the time they become teens.
In addition, corporal punishment actually creates more aggression in children, according to a 2004 study by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health "[S]tudies showed that corporal punishment was linked with difficulties later in life ... the study takes into account other possible explanations for aggressive behavior such as violence between parents and maternal depression, drug abuse and neglect. It does, however, point to the explanation that spanking is the biggest factor that contributes to a child's aggressive behavior," the study states.
The studies of sociologist and family researcher Murray A. Straus suggest this common-sense conclusion: "When a parent resorts to physical punishment and the child does not comply, the parent increases the severity of the punishment, eventually harming the child."
Jessica Beagley and her son are caught up in a devastating cycle of abuse. This family needs counseling, stat -- and not of the sensationalist Dr. Phil variety.
I'll finish up with a quote from my favorite child psychology expert, my 10-year-old daughter:
"One spank is one spank. But being shoved into a freezing shower and getting hot sauce poured in your mouth makes you afraid of your mother. The results are just pain. Their throat would burn. And they could choke. They lose trust. And that's really hard to get back."
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ReaderComments (Page 7 of 29)
2-01-2011 @ 8:35PM
Rob said...NOBODYS perfect and this would have never went to court if it hadn't been on a television show that's only out to get higher ratings. When will people realize these shows are not your friend and only pull publicity stunts such as this to get you to watch so the sponsors will pay them more.
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2-01-2011 @ 8:36PM
Jack Fisher said...The lady is an idiot!
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2-01-2011 @ 8:46PM
Carla said...I don't see the difference between HOT SAUCE and A BAR OF SOAP...both are used as a form of punishment on young children when they either use profanity or misbehave so why have we never heard of parents being arrested in the past when putting a bar of soap in their child's mouth? I'm 33 years old and I can recall several times I tasted soap or had a belt or spoon smacked off my butt but it was like that in all my friend's homes too so what's the difference between then and now? These kids now a days need to be punished, the reason you have all these pregnant teens and young drug addicts is because the parents aren't allowed to scold their children without being threatened with the police and that's just wrong. As long as you're not beating your child I think parents should be able to discipline their children like parents have always disciplined their children the past 100 hundres years. Look at how these kids are now a days compared to 10 years ago...these kids have NO RESPECT because their parents aren't allowed to discipline them.
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2-01-2011 @ 8:39PM
khbrook said...It absolutely is torture. Did you ever taste hot sauce? It burns. What is wrong with people? They want to take the easy route rather than do the hard job of parenting--giving up their own activities to stay home with the child , not watching the tv show you want to or shower when you want to. Also, how about the technique of not reacting to everything a 7 year old says or does? How about ignoring the bids for attention when the behavior is out of line?
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2-01-2011 @ 10:54PM
Gaela said...You must not have children? Ignore bad behavior? So, let me see...it can become worse behavior because the first thing went un punished? If we don't discipline our children, the world will discipline our children when they become adults and I don't think it will do them any good to say that prison is psychologically damaging them! Discipline should be uncomfortable...even painful (not deadly). This is exactly what's wrong with our kids today...no one disciplines, no one teaches them respect.
2-01-2011 @ 8:38PM
WILL said...To all non-parents posting in here , your opinion doesnt count until you b/c a parent
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2-01-2011 @ 8:40PM
Betty said...Someone should hold that woman down and pour a quart of that hot sauce down her throat. There are other ways to discipline. If she yells like that all the time her kids should be taken until she can prove she has changed.
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2-01-2011 @ 10:36PM
Cheryl said...She is a bully! There are better ways to punnish a child! This is ridiculus! That is a child not an animal! (and people wouldn't even treat animals in such a way!) Horrible woman!
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2-01-2011 @ 8:40PM
Rayje said...What ever happened to the good old fashioned spanking? It worked on me. This woman should be made to drink K-1 for her punishment.
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2-01-2011 @ 8:43PM
RB said...That women needs a bitch slap and a new hair stylist.
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2-01-2011 @ 8:42PM
FairerPink said...I did not watch the video. I was threatened with soap in my mouth for cussing when I was younger and just the threat worked. Never hot sauce. I'm not going to slam her for using it, my mom also threatened me with pepper. I don't understand her reasoning behind the cold shower. I find that more abusive than I do the hot sauce. I don't believe she should have been arrested. She tried a wrong tactic but she was asking for help. She wasn't bragging about what she did. She made a mistake. Asking that idiot Dr. Phil for help obviously wasn't the way to go. I wish the police would arrest the real child abuser's instead of wasting time with a parent who used the wrong discipline technique. Kelsey 2006
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2-01-2011 @ 8:43PM
Kitty said...My mom used to do this same thing to my brother when he was little.Every time he was mouthy or disrespectful or cussed he got the hot sauce.It made me afraid to step out of line and I felt even as a kid that this was mean.I do think this is abusive.I can't see doing that to any of my own kids.My brother to this day has issues with our mom because of her lack of parenting skills and the things she did to both of us.
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2-01-2011 @ 8:46PM
Ken said...My mom made us eat a hot pepper if we lied. After a few times of that we learned NOT to lie. This was a better lesson than the belt or paddle. TY mom
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2-01-2011 @ 9:38PM
Leonora said...I think she is pretty sick maybe if she would of stop yelling all the time he wouldn"t lie all the time, I would of lied to if my Mother where allways going to yell. The mom should have no children at all she is just sick sick in the freaking head.
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2-01-2011 @ 9:41PM
experience said...You people.. Wow is all i have to say. This is coming from a 15 year old by the way. What people think is abuse nowadays, isn't really abuse. Didn't your parents ever punish you for doing something wrong? Did they not spank you? I think you people have forgotten old morals. Since when has it become a crime for you to punish your own child for doing something wrong? When i was little i got spanked- hard. You don;t see me emotionally scared and in therapy for being disciplined. How would it be if you never disciplined a child and let them live on their life thinking that things they do will go unpunished.
I have been drinking hot sauce since i was little. I do not have ulcers. I am under a lot of stress. I do not have ulcers. A little shot of hot sauce will not give you health problems and neither will a old shower. I used to suck my thumb when i was little so my mother would put hot sauce on my fingers to get me from not sucking my tongue. By doing that, i now love hot sauce. So don't say that the mother has ruined his life and should be punished for punishing her own child.
Especially when you do not know the whole story.
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2-01-2011 @ 8:45PM
Good Mother said...THIS IS ABUSE of a child! This woman is a terrorist pig and bully. Punishment for the so-called infraction on the child's part DOES NOT JUSTIFY ABUSE! She should be arrested! No adult should EVER touch a child in that manner. There are other ways to discipline without terrorizing or physically hurting the child. Also, having your other child film a sibling being abused is abuse in itself.
If I saw this happening you can believe that sick --itch would wouldn't be able to scrape herself up from the floor!
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2-01-2011 @ 10:32PM
roniwho1 said...Of course she should be punished. I don't care who wrote a book about using hot sauce to correct children it is wrong. Drinking the hot sauce was not enough she placed him in a cold shower. She needs mental treatment plus jail time. I am a firm believer in paddling that little behind if a child acts up, but since Children's Services has taken over the "best" way to raise our children and parents are no longer allowed to spank their children, look at what it has resorted to.
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2-02-2011 @ 3:40AM
Lj said...No child is perfect and each and every one needs to be taught in order to learn what behaviors are acceptable and which aren't. Another interesting fact is that as adults and parents, some of us are much more tolerant of some things than others. It really sounds to me like this little boy and his Mom are not a good match. I think she needs something for herself, to keep her mind busy on something besides whatever he may be doing that keeps her negative thoughts focused on him all the time, possibly making even small infractions into something bigger than they really are. She needs to find it fast too, before she does irrepairable harm to the child. My heart goes out to him.
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2-01-2011 @ 8:52PM
babymonsta said...WHAT A MEAN BITCH!!!!!!! SHE NEEDS TO EAT A TON OF HABENEROS AND SEE HOW SHE FEELS WHEN HER BUTTS ON FIRE THE STUPID MEAN EVIL HATEFUL COW!!!!!!!!
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2-01-2011 @ 8:56PM
s.ropiequet said...In my country Colombia it was a common punishment to rub a hot chili in the kid's mouth to stop his bad mouth or to punish him for undesirable behavior. I found this obnoxious , but making a kid drink hot sauce can turn into a deadly punishment. a couple years ago my son who is very fan of hot spicy food went to a restaurant and right before he ate anything he chew a hot chili that was given as appetizer and his esofagus contracted giving him a terrible pain that make him think it was his end, he went out of the restaurant to avoid the commotion and had to endure terrible pain til little by little back to normal. Imagine making a kid swallow hot sauce like a punishment. terrible abuse and shouldn't be done at least you want to risk loosing your child.
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