Can You Inoculate Your Kids From a Raunchy Culture?

Good points, Rachel. I also have an 11-year old "tweenager" in the house, and I'm already finding out these next few years will be a bit of a challenge, to say the least. Coping with a social culture that is constantly changing (and not always for the better) while I try my best to stick with traditions and good morals and family values is really difficult.

I speak openly to my kids about Miley Cyrus and other musicians and celebrities that are think are a bad influence, and my kids have really become good at knowing what I think is inappropriate. I often find my daughter looking away from the tv if a commercial is too "sexy", for example (those darn commercials! I don't have a TiVo). Another time she walked out of our tv room and into the kitchen to where I was. She told me she wasn't going to watch the show that was on because it was "inappropriate"--her words, no lie! Apparantly Dr. Oz had come on when I wasn't paying attention and he was talking about erectile dysfunction. Needless to say, I was quite proud of her.

I think it's good to lead by example, too. I sit down and watch Little House on the Prairie and other wholesome shows and movies with them. I actually find these family shows very interesting!

I also agree with you regarding family dinners--I truly feel my whole day revolves around the moment we get to sit together as a family, eat a home-cooked meal, and talk about our day. So important and I think it gives kids a sense of comfort.

It's frustrating when other moms look at me strangly when I tell them my kids can't have cell phones, a Facebook account, watch certain shows or go to sleepovers. I just have to stick to my guns and pray that other parents will at some point "get it". If we don't like the direction our culture is going with our kids, we as parents are the ones who need to stop it or prevent it. That will only come from our persistance to resist the destructive temptations that take away from the beauty of life and what it really means to raise children. If shoes like Hannah Montanah get bad ratings, there will be no Hannah Montana. Besides, why would anyone have children just to plop them in front of a tv, computer, or cell phone, when there is a whole world to explore? And what ever happened to "throwing them outside" for a while like my parents used to do with me?

And as far as the themed b-day parties, I've been in that situation lots of times. Thankfully, for your kid, that just means eating cake off of a HSM themed plate and getting a goody bag that has a picture of Zac Efron on it. It doesn't have to go any further than that.

Surpisingly, though (on a side note), I do like High School Musical and find it very tame (after a careful screening). My kids and I watch the version where the words to the songs are at the bottom of the screen and we sing together. I figure it's much better than the musicals I used to watch as a kid (Grease), and I happen to like the way it portrays a healthy relationship with the opposite sex. In the final movie, the characters graduate and look forward to college (gotta like that). No skimpy clothes in these movies, either. The characters work through their typical teenage struggles with the courage and compassion to do what's right, instead of following their peers.

Then there's the Superbowl-ahhhh! I let my kids watch the whole thing with us (our team was playing and it's not something you want to watch on the DVR!), and I was disappointed in a couple commercials that were very sexual (we quickly changed the channel, although the kids saw enough, I'm sure). Isn't that supposed to be a family game/show? What's a mom to do? Guess next year the kids will have to leave the roon during commercials, lol.

Keep up the good work, Rachel. Traditional moms need more advocates like you!

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Look, what Snooki is doing on the Shores doesn't matter too much if you're one of many families in the United States threatened with breakup and destruction each and every day because of our nation's immoral immigration policies. It's great that you defend raising a family, Rachel. However, I think that us Catholics need to take a critical look at your stances on immigration on how that impacts families. Your husband bragged over the summer to the Wausau Daily Herald about how he wants to force all illegal immigrants in this country to leave, and "get into the back of the line" which would obviously have devastating impacts on families in America (with kids staying in the US, likely, because they are citizens, while parents would be deported). You seemed to advocate a similar position in an article you wrote this summer - nationalreview.com/corner/243148/republican-voting-hispanics-vs-harry-reid-rachel-campos-duffy. Do you support
these families, too? Do you and your husband support the Catholic
Church's stance that immigration reform that keeps families together needs to be a top priority? If not, it seems like you are being hypocritical in your support of families, supporting families that are safe and secure like your own (that have the privilege of making what's on Jersey Shores your top concern) but turning your back to those that need our support and protection the most.

Considering how pro-family you seem to be, with your praise of the
breast feeding room at the capital and defending having six kids, it
seems that surely you would also not go against the bishops mandate that immigration reform needs to happen that keeps families together. Will you be willing to think about immigration reform as it relates to keeping families together? Even though you your ancestors were privileged enough to go through legal channels to be here in the United States, if you pray about it I'm sure you can see how good parents (like yourself) would risk illegally immigrating to the United States if they felt that their kids had no opportunities in their home countries and legal means were impossible to move through to get the United States. And while these families have a smudge for breaking the law, they are still families just trying to make it like all of ours are and still worthy of our protection and not condemnation. So, please pray about immigration as it relates to the family, become familiar with the Catholic Church's strong pro-immigration reform stances, and share any thoughts you have on this on this blog and with
your husband in the near future.

Thanks kindly,

Frank

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I agree with all of the points here, but will also add that it is entirely possible to raise a family with strong values that are not tied to a particular religious denomination or traditional belief system, but to principles of freedom and justice and safety from want, for all the inhabitants of a sustainable and respected planet. These values reflect the exact same principles of compassion and reciprocity taught by all the great spiritual leaders, while avoiding the dogmatic conflicts and injustices ingrained in earthly organized religion.

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I completely agree with all of your points and really look forward to your opinions. I have 4 children, all under 10 and it is so annoying to constantly be subjected to the "raunchiness" that seems to pop up all over the place. We are Christian and our children know the importance of good morals and character, however it is extremely difficult to keep one step ahead of the news, magazines and even radio ads that are forcing us to explain things to them prematurely. As for that new MTV show, it is totally inappropriate probably for anyone under 18, thank you for not hesitating to speak up about that. I saw the AC show and wish you had been given more time to elaborate because you made some great points! Especially about the fact that alot of parents are not doing their jobs and the ones that are have to clean up the messes. I believe that most people just jump on the "if you can't beat em join em" bandwagon for fear of being left out, even if they are being lead right over a cliff.

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You do bring up some great points on how to avoid this, as long as the other parent or parents, in your child's life are on the same page. If I had my way my children would have never even heard of Family Guy and similar shows. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. (I should mention my kids are older, my son is 16 and my daughter 12). And how do you deal with those issues when the problem isn't so much the show but the age of the child watching it? Its tough when your children are different stages developmentally to keep the younger ones from seeing something that is considered fine for an older child. Its not like the old days when anything "questionable" was left until after 9 o'clock and you could call bedtime. With cable you can literally see any type of show, anytime. And if you live in a small apartment or house, its inevitable that your younger child will see something that your older child wouldn't have been allowed to sit through at that same age.

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Those wishing to protect their children should check out what their middle school teachers are assigning in class (and what's available in the library) Here in Connecticut they assign Spite Fences (graphic rape scene) Lovely Bones (ditto) Gossip Girl and more.
When I protested, I was told "well, it will start a conversation" Do not feel a 6th grader needs that kind of conversation. On the same vein, they invited a prostitute to come to "Respect and Responsibility Day" who then proceeded to tell the horrified 6th graders she had acquired AIDs from being raped by her father. Parents, pay attention and do not let the teachers and administrators bully you. You can request alternate selections.

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Great ideas Rachel! As an educated and informed parent, I too am finding it hard to shield my children from unwelcome influences. Much of these unfortunately come from the medium of television. These influences start innocently with cereals, then toys and now my eight year old is discovering that by watching certain channels he can find out when to see movie trailers, etc. To help with this, we do use our DVR as you mentioned above, to help limit their time in front of the tube and to also weed out the extras that do not need to be viewed.
As an experienced teacher in the area of early childhood and early literacy development I have always been a strong advocate of public broadcasting. Its influence on millions of children from all socio-economic backgrounds is endless. I can only measure its influence in the smiles and giggles of my own sons as they discovered new words or characters as we watched together. Public broadcasting in the home has a goal of promoting literacy, social, and cognitive development to viewers of ALL ages. It does and always has a place in my home, next to books and activities that spark our imaginations.
I am appalled to learn that members of congress are now proposing to cut all funding for public broadcasting. PBS helps parents "set the bar high" in terms of our children's media as you so rightly stated. It is also essential in the homes of those families of young children whose circumstances are different than ours. Think of those families of young children who have no books, or where an adult who is learning to speak English watches Sesame Street or Word Girl with their child to help them reach their goals. We may not share the same political ideologies Rachel, but as parents and advocates of ALL children we should all sing the same tune.

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All great points! Parents need to remember that their most important mission on this planet is to help their kids grow in all ways - physically, intellectually, emotionally, and culturally/spiritually. This means taking control by turning OFF the TV and doing something constructive as a family. This doesn't always make us popular as parents, but we must do this if we are serious about raising our kids as best we can.

I totally agree on your point on the classics - just last week my 8 1/2 year old read "Hamlet for Kids." This was my idea, and after a bit of intial resistence, he thought it was great (especially the ghost), so I went back to the bookstore to buy "Much Ado About Nothing" (same kid version of course).

For our family, a moderate amount of parent regulated TV and appropriate video games are ok on occasion (I don't even mind some iCarly), but my son doesn't have a DS (even though he claims everyone in the "whole wide school" does). I'm putting this off as long as I can get away with it! This way we can actually go places as a family and I can see his adorable bright and curious face UP, looking around at what we are seeing (not just buried into a tiny screen). It's normal for him to want these "tween" things but it's our job to control the things he's exposed to and the pace at which he grows up.

The family dinner is one of the most important things you mention in my view. The interesting conversations never cease to impress me! My son may be a little on the immature side (which is fine with me) but he loves to talk about news events and ideas, such as how to stop Somali pirates! Parents should dignify their children's ideas and intellectual potential by having more of these discussions (and they are good for us too!).

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Good points on Anderson Cooper about kids whose parents are not home and who MTV is targeting. From what I saw of "Skins" - this is not about having a meaningful discussion about issues important to teens. MTV can say all they want but this is about what sells and that's why they are pushing (and defending) this.

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