Jaimie Etkin: The Devil Wore Manolos
Parents on Facebook? What Parents? Teens Will Just Ignore Mom and Dad There, Too
Filed under: In The News, Research Reveals: Teens
Sixteen percent of teens who are friends with their parents on Facebook report being friends was a pre-condition to use the site. Credit: Getty
Stop right now. Before reading any further, go to the kitchen and get yourself a brown paper bag. This is shocking news guaranteed to make you hyperventilate.
According to a new survey, teenagers often ignore their parents. That is not a misprint. Teenagers often ignore their parents.
Everyone out there still conscious? Anyone need smelling salts?
OK, so this little tidbit of news is about as old as the day Eve sent Cain and Abel off to junior high and said, "Be nice to your brother, Cain. He's sensitive."
The news angle here is that teens have found a whole new 21st century way to ignore their parents. They do it with Facebook.
Kaplan Test Prep reports 35 percent of teens on Facebook with parents who are also on the social networking site refuse to "friend" their folks. Among those teens, 38 percent say they ignore their parents' friend requests.
That's cold, kids. Real cold.
Parents get their revenge, however. They may not know how well their kids are doing on FarmVille and other Facebook games, but they know what's happening in algebra.
Among the teens surveyed, 44 percent say their parents are "very involved" with their academic lives, while 38 percent they are "somewhat involved."
"Although for generations high school students have come to accept and even embrace their parents' involvement in their academic work and the college admissions process, Facebook continues to be the new frontier in the ever evolving relationship between parent and child," Kristen Campbell, executive director of college prep programs for Kaplan Test Prep, says in a press release.
When a teen ignores a parent's friend request, she adds, it doesn't necessarily mean they are hiding something.
"But it could mean that this is one particular part of their life where they want to exert their independence," Campbell says. "Alternatively, some parents and their children may actually mutually decide to keep their Facebook lives private from one another."
Other survey results reveal that 16 percent of teens who are friends with their parents on Facebook report being friends with them was a pre-condition for being allowed to create their own profile.
The survey, conducted by e-mail, included 2,313 students who took the SAT and/or ACT between June 2010 and December 2010.
Kaplan Test Prep provides educational and career services, including standardized tests, for individuals, schools and businesses.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
2-11-2011 @ 6:57AM
Caroline said...Get rid of the whole Facebook Schmacebook drama and start talking to people again like the humans we are. I can't believe the collective intelligence of the 21st century keeps diminishing like this. Soon we'll be able to procreate alone. Don't laugh; it's where we're headed, sheeple.
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2-11-2011 @ 10:32AM
Yasmin said...You hit the nail right on the head! With all of these cellphones and worldwide "chat" sites such as Facebook, kids are growing up to be two-dimensional. They are a generation that hides from the world....AND...their responsibilities to the world.
2-11-2011 @ 10:28AM
junior said...Facebook is NOT the reason people don't talk to each other. EVERYWHERE you go, there are people talking or texting on their cell phones. And we can already procreate alone, they are called sperm banks.
2-11-2011 @ 4:34PM
Alicia said...I agree with junior. We're more in contact with each other than we ever were before. I talk to my best friend every single night and she lives two states away. Every morning, I get news from another close friend in Paris, another in Italy and another in Australia. If you think people are becoming 2-D, you're not paying attention. Have you seen the changes being made in the Middle East because of the internet and cellphones? How about the fact that students no longer have to be sitting in a classroom to learn, but can do it online? The amount of face-to-face time we have has fallen, not because people never step out from behind their screens but because we communicate with so many more people on a daily basis than we did years ago and we do so from all over the world. How can anyone think social networking or the internet are negatively impacting society when we have access to any information we could desire in seconds and the ability to share and absorb ideas, beliefs and stories from people of all different walks of life around the world? I'm 20. I compare my peers to my parents generation and they take so much as obvious information. They KNOW we are all equal, that we all deserve equal rights, we are responsible for one another, not as citizens of a single country, but as citizens of the world. I can't wait to graduate and see what my generation is capable of, because I know that we'll take a world that's been run into the ground, where people are beaten, killed and oppressed based on circumstances of birth and we'll change it and it will be beautiful.
2-11-2011 @ 7:33AM
Emmy said...my father has a fb and i love my father so i dont see what the big deal is. my father always has somthing to say about my status but i just answer. theres nothing wrong with accepting parents lol
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2-11-2011 @ 7:52AM
lisa said...I was at a restaurant last night and there was a couple with their two children next to my table. Dad and Mom were on their phones, kids were on their computers. How sad. There was no talking to each other, nothing. If you think the kids of this generation are bad, just wait. We have to put all of this stuff down for a while and get involved with our kids. Have face to face friendships for goodness sake. The world is being consumed by technology. It's getting faster and faster and we are losing ourselves.
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2-11-2011 @ 8:03AM
Linda said...my kids have FB pages, I have a FB page. If my kids unfriend me their FB is gone. But in fact we all enjoy it.
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2-11-2011 @ 8:44AM
Catlin said...I'm one of the parents that made it a condition of creating the account. You have to monitor what your kids are doing online and who they are doing it with. You have to be(come) a tech savvy parent. My kids are not allowed to have computers in their rooms and there are time restrictions programmed into our router to keep them from getting online in the middle of the night. Be smart and know what your kids are doing.
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2-11-2011 @ 9:16AM
Michael said...Why does this news surprise anybody when most kids ignore their parents in person because they have no respect for them??? Parents today have set the precedence for this behavior because they are too busy trying to be their kid's "friend" instead of being their "parent". Most parents do this because they wont to be the "Cool Parent as seen on TV" and because they are trying to make up for the guilt of not really being involved with their child's life because they are too busy with their own lives, their jobs, their social lives, their gym workouts followed by a dinner out at the bar while the kids are left to fend for themselves eating microwave dinners and running the streets until their parents get home for the night. Sadly, I see this behavior all of the time and my kid’s friends think our family is weird because we have dinner together every night and I do not let my kids run the streets and do whatever they want. My kid's friends do not understand why I make them tell me where they are going, who they are going to be with and set an appropriate curfew for school nights and weekends. I rarely text my kids and I demand that if I call them on their cell phones they better answer or the phone goes for good. My kids have been told that they do not have to like me but, they will respect me and my word is law and if they go against it they will be punished in an appropriate manner suiting the offense. This is not harsh behavior and it teaches them that there are repercussions for their actions and they know that I care about them and their well being and that I want them to grow up with respect. I can only hope that some of you out there reading this will think about what I said and at least try to be your child's parent instead of worrying about being their friend. They need their parents not some middle aged idiot who tries to impress them by being cool and doles out cash like an ATM to make up for the guilt of not being there for them!
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2-11-2011 @ 10:38AM
Danielle said...I cant agree with you more! My #1 answer to my kids when they say Im not fair- "Its not my job to be your friend. My job is to be your parent." Too many people have forotten this very important part of being a parent!
2-11-2011 @ 8:46AM
chris said...Well heres the deal. I pay for the tv, internet, phone and for the computers and the cars and the gas and insurance as well as put a roof over their head fill there bellies buy clothes and make sure they are all in good health so,,,,the second I have no access to you web accounts so that I can make sure your behaving yourself but most importantly keeping you safe and me from a lawsuit for something stupid you posted you lose the internet and the computer the second I can't reach you by phone or you break curfew you lose the phone and the car because your not allowed to go anaywhere that I am not with you so there is no need for you to have a phone and if you continue to ignore me or avoid me and make this a battle of the wills everything else in your room now get taken out the only things that remain is the bed clothes and food but mind you it is the bare necessities no fancy clothes or your favorite snacks or anything else that is considered a privilaged luxury and when your ready to be part of the family and participate as a family member and not just a spoild brat and a boarder then it will be restored
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2-11-2011 @ 8:47AM
Scott B said...PEOPLE! dont fall for this B.S.' er of a wantabe "reporter"! IF 35% PERCENT ARE "IGNORING" THERE PARENTS THEN WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER 65?? THERE NOT!! Sheesh what a bunch of crap just to get a blog posted. This idiot henderson outa be ashamed and so should aol. No wonder I'm dropping them when our new hi speed gets installed. But as usual lets make a big deal out of the minority and ignore the majority! ....idiots.
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2-13-2011 @ 9:36PM
queen mom said...That percentage your referring to...it is the percentage of BOTH kids and parents who are on facebook together. It does Not include facebook users that are kids Alone....with NO parental supervision...however w/ parental approval (cuz the kids not payin' for it is he???) When reading stats....look for ALL the unwritten info...not the ones to just criticize in order to make yourself feel better that your kid is on facebook and not friending you, or is on facebook alone. I agree w/ all the parents who realize that People as a Whole have stopped talking w/ each other...it will come back to bite us in the butt...and that's Not the technilogical butt either. They are our future...insurance co employees, politicians, dr's, etc. They will be the ones who are taking care of us as we age...and they grow up. Remember they are not kids forever...what we permit Now as a "fun" or "kid thing" will have endless repercussions...and dig down to your toenails...and you'll have to agree...it won't turn out good if they don't know how to look at someone in the eye and Talk.
2-11-2011 @ 9:42AM
Kathleen said...Dear Teenager - Do you pay rent to your parents? Do you contribute to the grocery and utility bills? Do you buy all of your clothes, pay for your own car, gasoline and insurance? If "no" to any of the above, then guess what? YOU ARE NOT INDEPENDENT!!!!!
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2-11-2011 @ 9:58AM
Nick said...My mom punished me when I ignored her, so I was kinda forced to add her
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2-11-2011 @ 12:49PM
Jeff said...My wife and I have FB pages...my teen kids have FB pages. I am NOT "friends" with my kids! I have things to say to my friends and they do too. We trust them to behave (and they do) and have told them that anything they say on FB or emails or texts can come back to haunt them and we as parents will eventually find out anyway. However.....my kids are NOT allowed to have phones at the dinner table, no internet after 9 pm unless its for homework (yes we check their homework too) and cell phones are turned OFF after 9 pm and not allowed to take them into their bedrooms. They break the rules..they get phones taken away and internet priveledges (they are priveledges, NOT rights) suspended.We aren't total hard asses...just concerned parents who want our kids to talk to "real" people more than the electronic world.
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2-11-2011 @ 2:57PM
dougalcandy said...I also am not friends with my daughter on FB, although this happened after she went to college. We decided that for now, it was better for us to have separate FB lives. She lives at school and I have to trust her to do the right thing not only on FB but while she is there on her own. And I also agree, there are things I say to my FB friends that I don't need my kid reading--just as kids vent about their parents, don't parents need a place to vent as well? While I understand the concept of knowing what your kids are doing, do I really need to read everything they say? That's like parents listening in on the extension phone when we were growing up. Maybe one day we will be FB friends but for now, it suits everyone if we just keep it separate.
2-12-2011 @ 12:15AM
Just a mom said...FB is a cop out to write nasty, hurtful things about those you call friends and family, and to talk crap about others, because you don't have the maturity or respect for yourself or others to do this face to face and not cowering behind a faceless means. GROW UP!
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3-09-2011 @ 10:30PM
cathy orth said...this is not the first time kids do not listen to parents. we are demeaned on television. seen as archaic ignorant slugs by most kids. I believed we needed to stand up and move over one family because your kids always listened to what the neighbors said. There is way to much open ended information that growing children do not fully understand yet. Their emotions and feelings are not all connected correctly to the knowledge and life experience they have not had as of yet. as parents we are to responsibly teach our children. we as parents do not realize that our kids have studied us 24/7 since birth and know too much about us to listen to us. we raise children as they then raise us! too much info is not good for the growing mind to absorb correctly.
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