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Most Americans Believe Single Motherhood Is Bad for Society, Survey Finds
Filed under: In The News, Single Parenting
Single mom? You're being judged. Credit: Corbis
Although there is a growing acceptance or tolerance of same-sex and unmarried couples raising children, most Americans still believe single motherhood is outright "bad for society," according to results of a survey released this week by the Pew Research Center's Social and Demographic Trends.
But despite the attitude toward single parents, census statistics show nuclear families today account for barely one in five U.S. households, while the National Center for Health Statistics reports nearly four in 10 births are to unmarried women, the Washington Post reports.
"People aren't embracing these changes, but they are accepting them," Rich Morin, a senior editor at the Pew Center and author of the report, tells the Post. "The days when people were made to wear a scarlet letter or were shunned after a divorce are ancient history."
The survey asked a nationally representative sample of 2,691 adults whether they considered the following seven trends in modern family structure to be good, bad or of no consequence to society:
- More unmarried couples raising children
- More gay and lesbian couples raising children
- More single women having children without a male partner to help raise them
- More people living together without marrying
- More mothers of young children working outside the home
- More people of different races marrying each other
- More women never having children
The most striking difference between the three groups occurs in their reported attitudes toward single motherhood. Virtually all of the skeptics (99 percent) say the trend is bad for society, while nearly 90 percent of accepters say the increase in single women having children has made no difference or is a good thing for society, according to the survey.
The difference between skeptics and accepters on their views of single motherhood is so great that the two groups would merge into one if that question were removed from the survey, the authors report.
Overall, the three groups of respondents are split as follows:
- One-half to two-thirds of the accepters say the seven trends make no difference to society; but, of the remainder, more say most of the trends are good, rather than bad. This group is most likely to include women, Hispanics, East Coast residents and adults who seldom or never attend religious services.
- The rejecters, a similarly-sized group, reject nearly every trend the accepters tolerate or approve of. A majority say five out of the seven changes are bad for society, accepting only interracial marriage and few women having children. They are also the only group in which a majority says it's harmful for mothers of young children to work outside the home. This group is overwhelmingly comprised of whites, older adults, Republicans, the religiously observant and married adults.
- The skeptics, a somewhat larger group, share most of the tolerant views of the accepters, but also express concern about how these trends impact society. However, nearly all of these respondents say single motherhood is bad for society -- vs. only 2 percent of accepters who feel this way. However, most say the six other trends make no difference or are good for society. This group is mostly comprised of young people, Democrats and political independents and minorities.
"Working mothers are acceptable to almost everybody," Cherlin says. "Two parents who are unmarried are tolerated or acceptable. But many people, including single parents themselves, question single-parent families. There's still a strong belief that children need two parents."
But Cherlin suggests that, for many Americans, this opinion is rooted in practical, not moral, concerns.
"They're concerned about the economic problems of single mothers, and the amount of effort it takes to be a good parent. People aren't anti-single mother as much as they are pro-two parents," he concludes.
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ReaderComments (Page 3 of 10)
2-22-2011 @ 11:04AM
lshinoha said...As a single mother of 2 boys - I think it's definitely bad. I would give my right arm for some support from another adult, for financial help so I wouldn't have to work 2 jobs, for a male role model for my 11 and 14 year old sons. But with absolutely no time to go out 'looking' for a new husband, and with a dead-beat ex who is revelling in his mid-life crisis/catharsis, whatever, what can you do?
Anytime I'm not working, I'm focussed on my sons. I check their homework nightly, do the housework, sit down to a home-cooked dinner with them the 4 nights I'm at home in the evening, call them daily from work to check in, go to all soccer and baseball games .... I'm exhausted all the time - generally 6 hours of sleep each night, but I got my boys so it's worth it. But no - this lifestyle is not ideal for me, them or society, and anyone who claims it is, is not truly single - they have at least financial, familial, church or some kind of help.
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2-17-2011 @ 4:06PM
Bego said...This idea is so ridiculous...my childrens father was a complete bastard and I will not under any circumstance keep him or the presence of a man around my children simply to please society. This entire world is so full of crap/choas and corruption and most of it are from people who come from two parent homes. Children do not need two parents...the sake of two parents is so they can both balance the needs of the child however it is not impossible for one whether the mother or father to do it alone. Hell what if your spouse dies and you refuse to move on suddenly you are a bad parent? If this is Americas idea you're very damn close to sounding like some of those middle eastern rejects.
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2-17-2011 @ 10:07PM
Maggie said...To Bego - All children need a father and a mother . You stated your husband was a bastard. Hmmmm sounds to me like you are one of these women that's a simple bitch. The problem in society today is none of you young people try. Soon as a problem arises one leaves and ends it. Parents aren't parents anymore and 90% of the single mother's are out for themselves. If a man was good enough to lay with then he must have not been too bad as you said. It takes two, and women "ALWAYS" had jealousy written all over them when the man finds another, therefore they make a father go through hell to see thier children, keep wanting more and more child support and poison the children's mindsabout their daddy's. And you wonder why dad's walk away. Even through court orders a mother never abides, because she has custody she thinks she can do and say what she wants and the bad part is when a father takes her for contempt, she usally walks off with a small fine if even that, so men fill it's a lost battle and don't bother. Sad as it is, women need to rethink and remember these kids needs both parents. Kids are the ones who suffer the most and have to pay the price because two adults can't get a long. Parents need to think what's best for their children and get over themselves. It's not just about you. Another thing, both parents should be supporting the kids financially and emotionally. Care of these children should be split right down the middle.You both made them and it's up to both of you to take care of them. Their are good single mothers out there and I commend them but there are more who aren't good at all. Nowhere is it written that a mother is the best parent because I know for a fact that's absolutely not true.
2-18-2011 @ 11:25AM
San.D.eggo said...Have you taken responsibility for selecting such a poor father for your children? For every degrading comment you make about their father, you make the same about a part of them. That really does not help a child's self-esteem.
2-18-2011 @ 12:18PM
Shawn said...Who would choose "a complete bastard" to be the father of their children? That does not sound like rational thinking of a good mother!
2-17-2011 @ 3:52PM
Joan Hritz said...I grew up as the only child/only daughter of a widowed mother. Sure, she made some mistakes and I had a few insecurities. But, I grew to realize she did the best she knew how to do. She was widowed when I was 3 years old. My own terrific husband died when my 3 kids were 20, 18 and 10. I knew from my own experience that a determined, working mother could bring her children up successfully--and that is how it turned out. My 3 all are college graduates (as were their father and I) and turned out to be responsible, hard-working people (and that is the path my 2 grandchildren are following.) My original belief that children in one-parent families may be more insecure has definitely been challenged. I see plenty of insecurity in those of 2-parent famiies.
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2-18-2011 @ 12:17PM
San.D.eggo said...It is frequently a choice and to say otherwise is being dishonest.
2-17-2011 @ 3:51PM
dara said...single parenthood is rarely a choice so if you have a problem with it then too bad for you
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2-17-2011 @ 3:57PM
Hope said...Hmm.So what do these same people think about the men that go around impregnating woman after woman and leaving them to raise the kids alone?Is that ok for society?
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2-18-2011 @ 12:18PM
San.D.eggo said...Men can't impregnate women who are not willing to be impregnated... take some responsibility, whiners!
2-17-2011 @ 4:03PM
Shannon said...I don't think most people choose to be single parents - circumstances arise that put them in this position. I'm a single mom and I have to agree, being a single parent is NOT good for society. We have to play the role of both parents, of breadwinner and home maker - its virtually an impossible role to fulfill! Clearly at some point in time your child or children aren't getting all the attention from you that they would get if there were two adults in the household sharing the responsibilities - it's a no-brainer. But its not as if all of us single parents sought this lifestyle out - trust me!
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2-17-2011 @ 5:22PM
Alicia said...I don't know that it's bad for society, either. It's definitely a huge burden on the mother and that's horrible, but in my experience (as the daughter of a single mom) kids of single parents are more independent and resilient than their duel-parent counterparts. As long as the parent is involved, supportive and loving, the kids will be fine. Same goes for all families.
2-17-2011 @ 4:18PM
katernc said...I think that a family is a group of people who are able to love & care for one another. It doesn't matter to me whether they are straight, gay, interracial, single, whatever. As long as everybody has what they need. What I am saddened to see is people judging & using the Bible for a defense. Would you rather have people in sick, abusive relationships just to stay together "for the kids"? How is that helping anyone? How well is YOUR family?
On the other hand, I am also sickened by women who refuse to use birth control & have child upon child when it was obvious that they couldn't care for the first one. Or just to get benefits. Be responsible for yourselves & your offspring!
And, no, I am not a parent but I was unable to have children due to ovarian cancer.
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2-17-2011 @ 4:18PM
Anonymous said...When are these so-called professionals going to wake up and realize that it's NOT the 1950's anymore??? Today there are a whole bunch of families. I will not submit to my husband's every whim and need I'm glad my boyfriend and I have an open and honest relationship with open and honest communication and we love each other unconditionally. This makes me sick.
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2-17-2011 @ 4:30PM
Jessica said...Everyone that has such strong opinions and are quick to jump and point fingers at "single mothers" should stop for a minute and not lump them all into the same catagory. I am a single mohter - NOT by choice. Unfortunately, some men don't take accountability for their part in it all and it is left to be dumped on the women to figure it out. I love my daughter and have worked VERY hard and have done it ALL ON MY OWN. I am not a lazy leech to socity where I sit on my ass and collect welfare and foodstamps because I am too lazy to work. I have worked extremely hard and have supported my daughter on my own and raised her to be a smart, polite little girl. She see's how hard I work to support us and she realizes what is important - doing good in school, etc. I didn't lump all men into the same catagory for being dead beat's because I got stuck with one, so it would bemuch appreciated for people to take a step back before they throw their opinions about single mothers out there and lump us all into the same catagory. Some of us wern't given a choice but are doing a damn good job at raising our kids to be bright. I can think of MANY screwed up kids that come from 2 parent households that are murders and rapists. Just one example - Columbine Shootings - 2 parent household - and your going to tell me single mothers are the reason there are troubled kids in socity? Get your head out of your asses.
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2-17-2011 @ 4:30PM
Katie said...Well there wouldn't be single mothers raising their kids alone if the single fathers who helped create them stayed in the picture! Men can run when an unplanned pregnancy occurs. Women cannot. Thus the proliferation of single mothers!!!
And you know what America.....We do just fine without you looking down your noses at us!
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2-17-2011 @ 4:43PM
kittyfriskywhiskers said...You tell 'em, sister!
2-17-2011 @ 5:08PM
eddie5719 said...What about us single dads ? I am raising 3 kids by my self 2 are mildly autistic, my exwife left 10 years ago saying it was too much for her. I work frull time , am on all the P.T,A,s and do the cooking , homework and spend all my spare time with the kids. Moms get all the sympathy , now if only I could find time to date ( or someone) . I love my kids and wouldn't trade a min. I think I learned alot along the way .
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2-17-2011 @ 7:45PM
Michelle said...kudos to you for sticking around. Seriously. Too many boys just up and leave. You are a real man for sticking it out and being there for your children. Sadly they had a poor excuse for a mother, but thankfully they have you there to raise them and love them the way children should be loved.:)
2-20-2011 @ 10:57AM
Renee said...I am an only child that was raised by a single mother. Although I turned out very successful, I would not wish it on any child. A child shoul have two parents. If a child/children are raised by just one parent, that is the influence that you grow up with. Most single parents struggle with money, parentling issues and are just plain exhausted. Plus one of my mother's favorite lessons was "you don't need a man" . I heard it quite frequently. When the the truth is YES two parents are neede to raise a child. Two individual sets of ideas and influences, two incomes, etc.
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