My Inner 8-Year-Old Thinks I'm a Rock Star

My 8 is a bit surprised at some of 40's doings, but seems to be OK with it. "But...but you've got Skype!" he says.

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Man, I must have skipped the rock star phase completely, because I'm only 32 and my 7-year-old thinks I'm an antiquated, curmudgeonly old biddy. He's a boy and I won't let him do things like throw rocks at people's heads, so if that makes me an old biddy, so be it. My 4-year-old girl would probably describe me as a very obedient, mobile armchair.

Seriously, though, I often struggle with the same issue: I was told to dream big and be big,. but at the same time I was also stupid and useless, thanks to my own personal Tiger Mom. But does that mean it's better to teach my own kids to be super-proud of themselves to the point of not trying their best? I used to scoff at the notion, but I've seen enough life to know that trying one's best does not guarantee anything, and the feeling of knowing that one did one's best doesn't really make up for the hopelessness one feels after a failure. But maybe that feeling is also an after-effect of being told the wrong things from the very beginning! So for now, I just blithely cheer on their stick-to-itiveness without a strategy for when they realize that alone isn't enough.

Sorry for the novel! It's an issue I hold dear.

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I guess we are just going to have to wait until you turn 40 to really find out how Rocktacular you are! But I don't know if I can wait 10 years.

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Fabuloso, Jen! Considering how many readers whose hearts and minds you touch on a regular basis (most of whom you'll never know about, as they stay in the woodwork) I'd say your 40 is kick-ass.

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My eight LOVES it when my 40 hits "snooze", throws a little dance party in the living room, looks at the stars.

Funny how none of that stuff would look so good in the alumni mag...

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I think everyone can pretty much write the same post, changing the details here and there. And I mean everyone, even those who are financially well-off. I know screenwriters and actors who are miserable living in Los Angeles. Playwrights who regret never having a child. Women who live in Maine, overlooking the ocean, cooking at their beautiful marble kitchens, making dinner for their lonely selves. Life is a poorly structured story that rarely makes sense.

You are a pretty well-known writer in this community. You are writing at Parentdish, for God's sake, run by AOL -- the huge conglomerate that is cheating our elders by charging them for internet service that they don't need. That's somewhat BIG! I bet you get more readers here than audience members attending an off-Broadway production of your play!

And you are talented.

You can still accomplish all those other things, if you wanted to do it, and IF you spent less time on Twitter.

Maybe your own talent doesn't impress you. You live with it every day, and wonder why isn't it paying the bills as of yet?" But it is VERY impressive to the rest of us.

So, your daughter isn't the only one who knows a rock star when she sees one.

We all have different criteria for "rock star." Let your kids dream of big stuff. They should. And maybe you need to change your definition, and start seeing yourself as a rock star, too, but maybe in a way that wasn't planned. (Jeez, now I sound like one of those inspirational bloggers that I hate, but why not? -- sometimes they have a valid point!)

And remember, just in case you get trolls here today. Only the rock stars get trolls.

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When I was in that age range, I wanted to be an astronomer and work for Kitt Peak. Now I am in my forty's, working for the National Optical Astronomy Observatory, the organization that runs Kitt Peak. I have a very different job than I envisioned as a child and got here via a very roundabout way from how I thought I would. I like what I am doing (and get to play astronomer the way I wanted to when I was 8 on special occasions) so I would say my 8 is pretty impressed as well.

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honey, to me you are a rock star. Always are, always will be. And you write more beautifully than anyone I know.

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My outer 34 year old thinks you are a rock star.

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I think you're pretty awesome, so I wouldn't be too disappointed that you're not running yourself ragged on the globe.

On the other hand, never discourage your kids. My father constantly told me to be "realistic," which more often than not caused me to look around myself and just shrug and walk away. My mom told me to pick what I want to do and throw myself at it full force and if I fail, get up and do it again. At 20, I'm in the school of my dreams, am half-finished with a mystery theater script my college is helping me market, have networked my ass off and have a professor in Ireland who has promised to help me find a job there when I graduate. Ill never have time for kids, but every time I've stumbled, I've gotten up and tried again and I know I'll get there, even if I sometimes have to sacrifice on the way. It's about teaching kids to work that makes dreaming big possible.

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I'm days away from reaching that mark and have soon-to-be rockstars msging me at 2 AM. I think that's actually better than my eight-year-old self envisioned.

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I've posted about this--I do think we need to balance encouraging kids with interjecting reality. No--everyone will not be a rock star; and guess what? That's okay. Regular ol' life can be pretty damn good.

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I am solidly in your 8-year-old self's camp: you da rock star. Especially being able to have Cocoa Puffs for dinner!

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I don't know if being a "rock star" is all it's cracked up to be. I've interviewed countless numbers of rock stars, and not all of them are very happy. They've won Grammys, they've had no. #1 spots on MTV for months, and they've even reached Billboards no. #1 spot, too. They told me they weren't happy. To sum it up, I think if you are doing what God called you to do, you will be happy. In fact, I'd interviewed one multi-million dollar rock star who, at one time, owned a 15 bedroom house, and he told me he wasn't happy! He rarely spent time in his mansion, and he was paranoid much of the time!

What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but forfeits his soul? Just do what God called you to do, and you will be happy. I promise you.

Consider this: You have accomplished a lot. Many people have not been able to get many of their articles published in as many media outlets as you or I have. There have been, however, times I've felt sad as well. When I worked at a nationally syndicated talk show the host said something I often think about. His mantra was this: "Happiness is an inside job!"

Life is what you make of it. Not everybody can be a rock star, but not every rock star is happy or fulfilled, either!

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I am over 60 now and even bought an electric guitar like I used to have when I was a teen. I am trying to get the ole rock band back together to play those songs we used to play in the 60's. I am not having any luck. dammmit

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I absolutely loved this column. I have done a lot of inner child work in my life and at 68 I still think of myself as some kind of star, depending on where I am at the time! LOL I never became the famous chef, writer, movie star, dancer or singer that I had hoped to be at 8 but I do have a novel in progress, and people who know me love to eat what I cook. I spent 40 years creating styles for women, men, and kids as a hairstylist and looking back, it was a good career for me. Life works out for most of us, the way it should. We end up being and doing what is right for us! That's my belief anyway. Thanx again for a great article which gave me my smile for the day!

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you know, this is a good topic, b/c i think about this often -- how to balance dreaming big, putting in the work, but not get torn down by disappointment if it doesn't work, to not get devastated when things don't go your way, b/c i see in a lot of my friends being paralyzed when they have not ended up in the life they thought would happen. acceptance goes a long way...but i like what one your commenters said and what you say in the end, to teach that the life you end up with, while not in the plan, can be pretty damn good

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