A Happy Childhood May Sabotage a Romantic Happily Ever After, Study Says

I fail to see what's bad about confident adults not staying in unhappy marriages. Or, on the flip side, what's good about anyone staying in an unhappy relationship. It's not good if they don't attempt to fix it, but if it's beyond fixing, it's incredibly unhealthy to stay in a relationship that will make you miserable.

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Good grief! We are doomed if we do, and doomed if we don't! I don't believe this stuff one bit. I was a child of divorce, and I am happily married to my husband...14 years and going strong. We have a wonderful relationship that our son sees everyday. Does this mean he is doomed when he gets married? I don't think so. I know numerous people whose parents were married and they have great relationships with their spouse. Who is to say what makes or breaks a marriage...in my opinion, people don't look at marriage like they should. It should be holy and not be lightly entered. We live in a world where people sleep around, get pregnant out of wedlock, marry, divorce..etc. The PERSON is what makes or breaks a marriage!

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Isn't it more likely that children who had an unhappy childhood, having likely suffered through divorce of parents, financial straits, or serious health or other problems, are more able to see the big picture? It does seem possible that someone who always had it good may not cherish what he or she has as much as someone who grew up wanting. So maybe someone who had such a great childhood is looking for Mr. Perfect at the expense of someone who is perfectly loveable, honorable and kind, noticing and magnifying little normal flaws until that is all they see, whereas someone who had an unhappy childhood can admire their spouse as a whole, because they are more able to see the big picture and take minor flaws in stride, acceping them for what they are. I'm not sure it has anything to do with self esteem. It's more likely perspective that is at play.

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I'm so happy! I had a cruddy childhood. I hardly had any good memories when I lived with one set of parents. The other was good, but one set stunk! It was a misery growing up when I lived with them. Maybe this explains why I've been married for 25 years to the same person, and we've both been faithful. I always wanted to have some kind of fairy-tale ending to the life of misery I started out with. Life is so much better now! You have to learn the meaning of forgiveness when you get married. Since I was such a pro at it because of my childhood, it made marriage that much easier. If you can really understand the concept of forgiveness, chances are you will remain married for the rest of your life. I thank God everyday for all His goodness!

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I had a strange childhood where I wasn't appreciated or cherished. I tried to find someone who would give me the love and attention my parents didn't. I thought I had in the begining, but as time went on I realized I didn't. Maybe I set the bar too high but my friends also see that my husband, although he claims he loves me, is aloof and a bit on the selfish side. Oh well....

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Lets stop beating around the bush by saying "unhappy childhood"when we really mean incompetent,self absorbed,overly critical,self esteem destroying parents.And at the extreme you can add emotionally abusive parents.

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So basically this is saying that those with unhappy childhoods are clingy and need to depend on someone. If you can have a "take it or leave it" attitude about anyone, they're not someone you should be with to begin with. And it's sad that those with unhappy childhoods apparently are not confident (self esteem issues) and therefore feel they need to cling to a man. I'll take the happy childhood anyday.

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The only reason you should EVER get married : you love this person so much, and you KNOW this person is not only your best friend, the one you can trust the most, the one you have the most in common with, and you know theyd put thier head in a noose for you if they had to< figurativley>, and knowing these things you know deep inside youll always be attracted to them sexually and personality wise, and you dont want to see them be with anyone else cuz your so compatible in every way and you know this over a period of time,,.
if you ever marry anyone for ANYothe reason, < ie , im getting old, i want a kid,all my friends are married, were different but if we love each other we can always work it out etc,etc,etc,> i GUARANTEE. you will NEVER be happy. words of wisdom here folks ,, trust me on that

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There are so many theories today about literally EVERYTHING under the sun, and I think at least half of them are balderdash! Some of this stuff we could really do without and when writers run out of things about which to write, they tend to come up with this kind of meaningless tripe. This has no basis in fact as is the case with so many studies.

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I'm an average guy with some modest self esteem issues. I was in a "very good' marriage and would have stayed in it happily forever. Divorce never crossed my mind. My wife was an extremely confident, overly ambitious person who thought that an admittedly "very good" marriage was not good enough. Only "perfect" would do. So she left. I think this study definitely has some merit.

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Don't believe everything you read. My wife and I always work out our differences. We are married for love and our kids. Don't be too Hollywoodized.

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That's it, this is officially the most obtuse theory ever. Maybe people who had a happy childhood did so because they were spoiled, never had to work for anything, and just complained until they got everything they wanted. Now that they are adults they don't like hard work. Marriage is the hardest work of all. People are more willing to walk away because these spoon-fed adults cannot handle an ounce of responsibility!

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I completely disagree. In order to develop a lasting relationship, people have to be taught a degree of empathy. They use this empathy to discover what it is that completes their relationship by finding out what it is that makes their other half feel loved. If you can teach your kids anything, it is to avoid becoming egocentric, or self-centered. Have them do volunteer work, involve them in a church youth group. Have them read "The Five Love Languages" to help them to understand that everyone has different needs that have to be fulfilled in order to feel loved. Remember that when "studies show" something, that correlations NEVER imply cause and effect, even though that is exactly what the people conducting the study conclude. There can always be extenuating circumstances that produce certain outcomes.

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