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Teen Drinking at Home: Helpful or Harmful?
Filed under: In The News, Alcohol & Drugs, Research Reveals: Teens
Parents have mixed feelings about serving alcohol to teens at home. Credit: Getty
Some parents allow their teens to have an occasional glass of wine or a beer at home, believing kids who drink in moderation at home will be less likely to binge drink at a club or party, where they'll be much more at risk, the Wall Street Journal reports.
Other parents, however, believe underage drinking is dangerous and illegal no matter where or how it occurs, the newspaper adds, and say it sends an irresponsible message to teens that could pave the way for alcohol abuse later on.
But, in reality, many parents do supply their teens with alcohol -- at least some of the time.
According to a report released last month by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), nearly 6 percent of 12- to 14-year-olds (about 700,000 middle school kids) have had an alcoholic drink in the past month, the Journal reports. Nearly 45 percent of those obtained the alcohol free at home, including 16 percent who got it from a parent or guardian. However, the survey doesn't detail how much alcohol was involved or under what circumstances, the newspaper adds.
"This report isn't designed to say, 'Bad parents!' It's designed to say, 'Here's an issue you should pay attention to,' " Peter Delany, director of SAMHSA's Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality, tells the Journal. "When kids under age 15 start drinking and drinking heavily, they are about six times more likely to end up with alcohol problems."
But Stanton Peele, a psychologist and author of books on addiction, tells the Journal he's not convinced any type of drinking before the age of 15 sets kids up for the risk of alcohol problems later on.
"There's a giant difference between a kid who gets totally wasted on some purloined booze in the woods with his friends, and someone who has wine at dinner with their parents or as part of a religious ceremony," Peele tells the newspaper.
According to the 2009 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 86 percent of American youths have used alcohol by the time they turn 21, and 50 percent are binge drinking, downing five or more drinks in a sitting for men and four or more for women.
Although 21 is the legal drinking age in the United States, 31 states allow parents, guardians or spouses to give alcohol to minors, with seven of those states allowing it in a private residence, the Journal reports. Thirty states allow minors to drink for religious reasons.
And though there hasn't been a lot of research on the role of parents in underage drinking, findings from the United States and Europe are mixed with regard to predicting binge drinking or problems with alcohol later in life, according to the newspaper.
But U.S. government agencies and quite a few alcohol-awareness organizations contend that no amount of underage drinking should be allowed, the Journal says. They say teens who drink are at a higher risk for being involved in motor vehicle accidents, homicides, suicides and accidents of all kinds, as well as unplanned sex, pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Studies also suggest alcohol can do long-term damage to brains that are still developing in teens and even young adults in their early 20s, the Journal reports.
Conflicting information and differing cultural norms leave many parents wondering how to handle the subject of alcohol with their children. Delany tells the newspaper he's been very clear about the dangers of alcohol and drugs with his own son, and suggests parents discuss upcoming situations with their teens.
"You can say, 'There may be a lot of people drinking. Have you thought about how you're going to handle that?' Then really listen to their answers," he says.
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ReaderComments (Page 5 of 8)
3-09-2011 @ 8:58AM
lrusch2 said...Parents set an example. If they are boozers, no matter how young or old the kids are when they start to drink, and how much they learned about alcohol abuse, they are going to decide for themselves if they become alcoholics in life or if they will be responsible. Nobody puts a gun to your head and forces you to drink. My mother use to give us a sip of brandy once in a blue moon when we were young if we couldn't sleep. She also used whiskey to rub on gums for a tooth ache. But you are talking about old school before they had stuff to buy in the pharmacy. My parents were born in the early 1900's. But my father drank beer and never gave it to us to drink other than an occasional sip for curiosity. At family gatherings such as Christmas or Easter, we could sip wine but didn't get our own glass of course. Neither my sister nor I are drinkers. My kids aren't either. So I really think the law should stay the same - age 21 - and if the parent gives an occasional sip of wine at a special dinner, it isn't harmful. However buying alcohol for your underage kid is wrong, against the law and to let him party or get drunk in your home is teaching him that he can break the law and that getting drunk is cool. I think more parents should enforce and teach about drinking and driving. Unfortunately there are probably as many adult legal drinking age drunk drivers as there are teens. What I don't understand is why do we have bars and serve liquor in restaurants when 99% of the people drive there. How can you have a few drinks, eat dinner and then drive home? They say get a designated driver. Well, what if the person is single? What if they are alone? Do restaurants keep special lounges for customers who had drinks and want to chill out before driving home. Why are all the billboards along the highway advertising booze when you are not supposed to drink and drive. Are bar tenders responsible if they know their drunk customer is going to drive home?? These are just some no brainer questions I have never seen answered. Alcohol affects people differently. One person can have 1 drink and get woozy. Another can have 4 and still be totally in control. Again, this is personal responsibility. Kids do need to be made to obey the law til they are old enough to decide if their life is worth the risk to drink and drive.
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3-09-2011 @ 8:59AM
s.s. said...This is absurd. Children in Europe have had a glass of wine or beer, depending on which country it is (like Italy=wine...Germany=beer)
since forever.
Brain damage my ass.....this kind of article is just an example of today's litte punk ass 30 somethings think they know it all, and think it's their job to educate the generation that proceeded them......pretty narrow crack in the fence they look thru, ya think?
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3-09-2011 @ 9:04AM
Bobby said...All I can say to this article is that it is a parents responsibility to teach their children how to ride a bike, to drive a car, to eat at a table, the birds and the bees, and yes to drink responsibly.
During my time in the military I knew of three young men that died due to alcohol poisoning. these men died at 18 because they for the first time in their life were free to do what they wanted to include drinking alcohol. If you do not teach your kids, their peers will. And I can bet you that their peers do not have their best interest at heart when they are playing their drinking games.
To that end, my boys, now of legal age, hold responsible parties that are well planned out and everyone is taken care of and protected from not only injuring themselves but others as well.
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3-09-2011 @ 9:11AM
DevnDon said...Mr. Peele has no idea what he is talking about no matter his degree.. That 15 year old he is talking about might just love the feeling and say, "This is just what I've been looking for". Take this from a Professional Alcoholic that has seen it too many times. The very idea that a questionable Professional in the Psyc. field would say such a thing is appalling. I truly believe he has no experience in the real field of alcoholism or drug addiction.
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3-09-2011 @ 9:22AM
Amanda said...Absolutely banning something just makes it all the more tantalizing. Case in point: alcohol.
My parents let my sister and I have a sip whenever they had wine or beer or whatever. I always enjoyed that brief sip, but because of that the mystique of alcohol was simply not there for me, so I never got the urge to binge drink when I was with my friends. Even in college, when it was no trick to get alcohol (all we had to do was pool our money and tell an over-21 dormmate what we wanted), I didn't have the urge to get drunk and stupid because the novelty of alcohol was simply never there. Watching my roommate get wasted and stupid as a result of her minor benders was also a good example of how not to behave! Until I turned 21, I stuck mainly to mixed-juice "mocktails" or the occasional odd beer once in a blue moon, but that was about as wild as I got.
Nowadays, my husband and I do the same thing with our older kids. If they ask for a sip when we have beer or wine, we give them a small one. I'm also teaching them about the dangers of going overboard with alcohol, and since we're in fire/rescue, they hear stories about the consequences of drinking to excess a lot! We've told them about how a lot of people dying doing stupid things are more often than not the result of being under the influence at the time, and the stories are having an impact.
Parents letting their kids have a sip of alcohol or a single glass of wine at family events as teenagers are NOT the problem-it is the ones who declare it completely forbidden and then don't bother to say why that are part of the reason teenagers binge drink. It's the allure of the "forbidden fruit" that makes it all the more tantalizing.
For the record, I think the idea of stocking alcohol for your teen's party is pretty damn dumb. Not only will the word go out over the teen communication network, "Hey, we can drink here!" but also there's just too much risk of binge drinking and the inevitable consequences that way!
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3-09-2011 @ 10:15AM
emma said...You're absolutely right and I have to share this funny, but really relevant story: a family in our church was very strict, including no tv whatsoever. They asked for prayer one time because their 16 year old had run away. They couldn't find this girl for weeks and we were all very worried. Well they finally found her in a hotel with another friend. They had been at the hotel the entire time - watching cable, color tv. It's all about balance whether it's drinking or tv.
3-09-2011 @ 9:50AM
TOM H said...HAVE THEM BUY OR DISTILL THERE OWN STUFF THE DEMOCRATES WILL MAKE PAROSITES OUT OF THEM SOON ENOUGH
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3-09-2011 @ 9:48AM
Piper said...I'll never forget the night my car broke down and the officer that help my teenage daughter and I was telling my daughter if you get drunk your mom would rather you call her and have you picked up then drive drunk, He went on to tell us about picking his own teenage children up when they drank too much............. He never bothered thinking that maybe I didnt' allow my daughter to drink in the first place. I sure don't and don't have his relaxed style about it ither. I made sure she stayed active in church, sports, books, school....... She didn't have time to drink.......
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3-09-2011 @ 9:49AM
Emily said...I grew in an Italian/German household, everyone drank. When I was teething my dad would rub whisky on my gums. When I was a child I would have a sip of my mom's beer or my dad's wine. I'm now 21 and rarely ever drink (I don't care for the taste of alcohol; I'll order a mixed drink at a restaurant or drink a beer or two at a party and that's about it). My parent's letting me drink didn't turn me into a raging alcoholic, I'm sure it actually saved me a few thousand brain cells from my own experimentation. When the time comes, I'll let my own children have a sip of alcohol every now and then.
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3-09-2011 @ 10:06AM
emma said...My son just graduated college - 4 solid years of living with roommates who were stone, passed-out drunk pretty much every day of the week. Over one holiday, one of his roommates was so drunk, they thought he was dieing and called 911. I was so upset, I told my son, "I'm sorry, but I need to call their parents". His response? "Mom, who do you think bought him the bottle?" His father, at every chance, brought bottles of the kid's favorite vodka and whiskey. Apparently they thought that drinking is part of the natural college experience and as long as he stayed in his apartment, it was ok. This is where education about everything it starts, at home. Our son was allowed a beer on his 18th birthday, a really good, expensive beer NOT a case. He's 22 and that's what he drinks when he goes out - one really good beer. What's so sad is that people don't believe us, they say we're naive, that he's lieing to us, but we've heard from many of his friends that he's always the designated driver and that "he could buy a brick for what he spends on one beer". Drinking at home should be a teaching experience, not "we're such cool parents" as most parents see it these days.
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3-09-2011 @ 10:04AM
Coy said...any parent who serves their teens drinks should be put in jail
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3-09-2011 @ 11:56AM
Barbara said...In 31 of the 50 states, it is LEGAL for a parent to allow a child to
have a drink in the home. Check it out.
3-09-2011 @ 10:11AM
Lilly said...Giving your teen a glass of wine for a special occasion in the home is one thing but buying kegs fort the party your hosting for your teens friends is another. That is what life is like in the town I currently live in. I want to know what gives these parents the right to buy someone else's kid alcohol. They think that taking car keys away, providing a "safe" place to drink is protecting them? Really? IT.IS.AGAINST.THE.LAW!
My stepson frequents these homes where the "cool" parents allow an anything goes atmosphere - from smoking pot, providing alcohol and privacy for sex. My husband can't get his son to tell him where he goes - but tell us regularly that these parents are great and that we are old-fashioned and boring. He even told us that someone called the cops - the cops came and did NOTHING! Just told the parents hosting the party to make sure the kids didn't leave intoxicated.
Many can argue that at least it keeps these kids off the roads and safe - but how about teaching the kids about consequences and making good choices. Handing them the keys to the kingdom teaches them nothing!
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3-09-2011 @ 10:11AM
Laura said...Parents are parents to TEACH their children how to become adults and to make their way in this world. Why are our kids required first to LEARN how to drive, and then spend many months practicing in the car, before they are given a drivers license to drive on their own? Why do we teach our kids the rules of a game and make them spend hours practicing before they play in the game?
But when it comes to drinking, U.S. parents are forced by government law to prevent their children from ever taking a sip before their 21st birthday. So why does it surprise anyone that young adults of legal age have no idea how to drink responsibly?! I'm not talking about rebellious binge drinking, but rather responsible 'adults' not knowing that driving home after 3-4 drinks is dangerous (not because it's probably over the legal limit) but because they had no idea how their bodies and minds will be affected by even 1-2 glasses of wine with dinner?!
Putting our heads in the sand and pretending that college kids don't drink is just plain foolish. In an odd way, my daughters sorority had the right idea by TEACHING the girls how to enjoy social events that include alcohol responsibly. They were required to be "Sober Drivers" several times a semester for their sisters. For each event, 2 girls would be 'scheduled' to be on call to pick up, drop off any of the sisters where ever they headed to next. Those 2 girls were able to attend and hang out at the parties (events) however, they knew they couldn't drink because their friends were counting on them to get them home safely. At the next social, 2 other girls would be 'on call'.
Yes, this is an "illegal" thing for them to do at this time, (it was not a university practice), but considering what can happen when kids have no previous legal drinking experiences to learn from, I believe TEACHING our young adult children (while they are still in our care) HOW to drink responsibly is just another part of being a good parent.
I'm glad I taught my daughter how to drive and how to drink responsibly before she learned the wrong way on her own!
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3-09-2011 @ 10:16AM
Oly said...What about the genetic component to this argument? If you have alcoholics a mile deep in your family history, do you still think it's a good idea to encourage your children to drink? Once the alcoholic gene is switched on, your child may not be able to switch it back off. - Oly @ www.olylife.com
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3-09-2011 @ 11:32PM
Kagan said...Oly,
I'm curious as to what this "alcoholic gene" is called.
Oh, right! It hasn't been found. Because it doesn't exist! No medical/psychological condition has more quacks spewing out back alley nonsense than alcholism. I know this is a very prevalent belief, but there is absolutely zero evidence to support the claim that alcoholism is contained in a specific genetic code, or that it is a true disease such as Epstein Barr, MS, or Cancer.
In fact, the AMA does NOT recognize any genetic component of alcholism. There is no evidence to support the claim. It is merely a popular misbelief based on a tendency for alcoholism to be more prevalent in some families. Guess what. So is violence, drug abuse, level or lack of education, wealth, poverty and a host of other things. There is no wealth gene now is there?
When a person with Tourettes syndrome can't stop cursing, it's not the fault of the curse words is it? You don't treat it by preventing them from being able to use these words, do you? Why do we treat alcoholics by simply forcing abstinence from alcohol? It is merely a symptom.
Even if alcoholism was in fact a gene, how exactly would someone "turn it on" as you say?
I DO believe that there may be a genetic component that predisposes certain individuals to a psychological or personality disorder that may manifest itself in the abuse of alcohol. But that is a far cry from claiming there is an "alcoholism gene". Think about it.
There have been a handful of times in my life when I genuinely wanted to get drunk. This is probably true for all people, when faced with a situation that is just unbearable at that moment. I know alcoholics who feel this despair constantly. Even if it is a relatively minor everyday thing, they will feel tremendous anxiety about it. Sometimes the anxiety is just life. I have been told by recovering alcoholics that they just don't want the feeling of being drunk to end, because it means facing reality. So I believe it is some sort of anxiety disorder and/or chronic depression. Yes, there could potentially be a genetic component to this. But, for some reason, the medical community is not invested in researching the underlying cause of alcohol abuse. It is a symptom, not a disease in itself.
You see, I believe that operating under the assumption that alcohol abuse itself is the disease, then our judgement is clouded. We assume that all the similar behavioral traits (self loathing, grandiosity, narcissism, etc.) are symptoms of the disease of alcoholism. What if it's the other way around? What if these traits and the desire to suppress them are the cause of alcohol abuse? Alcohol is a drug. Just as drug addicts are often merely self medicating with drugs, so are alcoholics with alcohol.
3-15-2011 @ 4:23PM
Murigen said...If that is the case it won't matter if the child is 16 or 60 when they take that first drink.
3-09-2011 @ 10:17AM
Coy said...in response to Lori's comment I say it is a good vomment and very true
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3-09-2011 @ 10:26AM
Angiebaby said...I don't know if there is one pat answer for every situation. Beginning to treat your child as a young adult depends on the kid. Giving alcohol to a lazy, irresponsible, mouthy teens might just add to the problems. With privilege comes responsiblity, and if an older teen, say 16 or over, is responsible in other ways, then a glass of wine with Sunday dinner wouldn't be such a big deal. In this way, IMO, alcohol plays a small, integral part of the bigger situation, as opposed to sitting down with junior and having a few brewskis where alcohol is the basis of the situation.
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3-09-2011 @ 11:17AM
Meg said...Like with sex, teaching teens abstainance only policies is dangerous! If you tell them "no, no, no" they will only want to do it more, and not only that, they will not have the solid, helpful information from you the parent. On the other hand, if you teach them responsibility they will be much better equiped to handle the pressures when they are no longer under your roof.
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