SmackDown: Should Women Have Home Births?
Home Birth? Here's Why You're Wrong to Choose One
by Tom Henderson
First of all, ladies, let it be known I have no dog in this fight. As a male, I will never personally experience (thank you, Lord) the miracle that is childbirth.
Plus, returning to the dog metaphor, my previous owner had me neutered.
Thus, my familiarity with the birthing process begins and ends with the remake of "The Exorcist" my ex-wife performed when she was in labor with our son. I will never go through that again, so far be it from me to tell you how to bring forth new life.
Instead, I will merely ask a a couple of simple questions. First, do you want to give birth at home? And if so, are you feather-plucking insane?!
I know women have many reasons for opting for home births. I used to serve on the board of a clinic that included midwifery services. The at-home midwives and doulas were great people for whom I have tremendous respect. I just don't understand why anyone would use their services -- at least at home.
So I did some research. Here are some of the reasons to choose a home birth. Let's examine a few of them, shall we?
1. Your home is cleaner than a hospital.
This is supposedly because hospitals are full of yucky germs and sick people. Your house is clean and sparkly. Riiight -- if you're an obsessive-compulsive neat freak who sterilizes her kitchen utensils in an autoclave.
Hospitals are a lot cleaner than your house. Trust me. This is why the authorities get a little testy if you perform brain surgery in your kitchen.
2. Your chances of getting a C-section are reduced with a home birth.
Your doctor isn't going to perform a C-section because she really wants to try out her new Swiss Army Knife. If she says you need a C-section, trust her. The situation is serious. This is not the time for a wait-and-see attitude. You need to be cut open, and the best place to be cut open is a hospital.
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