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SmackDown: Should Parents Expect Pricey Preschools to Get Their Kids into the Ivy League?
Filed under: Opinions
Look, Ma! I'm preschool valedictorian! Illustration by Dori Hartley
Parent Deserves Preschool Services She Paid (a Lot) to Receive
by Tom HendersonAcademic pressure can wait. Preschool should be a time for singing songs, playing games and having fun.
Really? You want to pay $19,000 a year so your kid can learn the finer points of patty cake? Do yourself a favor. Band together with other families with young children and form a cooperative day care.
You will spend a lot less money. And -- don't worry -- your kids won't learn squat.
Nicole Imprescia, the Manhattan mommy suing the York Avenue Preschool for allegedly failing to live up to its academic promises, falls neatly into one of society's favorite stereotypes. She comes across as the wealthy snob with a type A personality and superficial values who robs her daughter of her childhood by insisting that preschool act as a springboard to the Ivy League.
(And rumor has it she killed Col. Mustard in the library with the candlestick.)
Come, let us scoff at her and her elitist values, that we may feel better about ourselves as parents. After all, we let our kids be kids. We don't put undue pressure on them. We don't put them in day care centers and preschools to learn anything. We just stow them at such places until they fit into our schedules again.
Of course, we don't spend anywhere near $19,000 a year for the privilege.
Preschools are either learning environments or warehouses. If they're nothing but fun and games, kids are better off at home with one or both of their parents.
Can't afford to stay home with your kids or have a career that's just too important to you? Then admit you're warehousing your children and don't judge Imprescia for paying for something extra.
School officials allegedly promised to prep students for the ERB (Educational Records Bureau) -- a standardized exam necessary for admittance to Manhattan's elite private elementary schools. Imprescia paid a princely sum for that purpose.
Instead, Lucia, her 4-year-old daughter, was supposedly stuck with younger kids learning shapes and colors.
Preschools don't have to be springboards to an elite education. But when they make that kind of promise, they bloody well better make good on it. They charge far too much money for simply offering a primer in circles, squares and the hues of the rainbow.
This is not a case of a snobby mommy pushing a kid too far too fast. This is the case of consumer who feels she was taken for a $19,000 buggy ride based on false promises.
And she deserves her day in court.
You can look at this case as a metaphor of how we push our children too hard to compete academically, but, seriously, look at the state of learning in the United States.
It will be a long time before the pendulum swings too far in that direction.
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Preschool for $19K? Someone Needs an Education on Not Being a Sucker
by Dori HartleyIf a mom can get so bent out of shape she's willing to sue a New York City preschool for what she believes to be the school's inability to guarantee her kid's entry into an Ivy League college, then I suppose the next histrionic indulgence will sound something like, "I'm suing the ob-gyn who delivered my baby 25 years ago, promising to deliver my son into the world. But now my son works at McDonald's. You call that delivering?"
Smells like a scalding hot coffee lawsuit, if you ask me.
OK. So, the angry mom was under the impression that York Avenue Preschool was going to whip her tender toddler into a little Mensa candidate. Yet, upon further inspection, she discovered the child's learning environment was really just "one big playroom."
Imagine that. Four-year-old kids playing with blocks and finger paint, maybe even tossing their slacker selves down for an afternoon nap.
When a school purports to provide babies with a "comprehensive" education that "integrates" art, music, physical education and language, what I get is: Play-Doh, singing songs, clapping hands and reciting the ABCs.
I suppose the use of words such as "comprehensive" and "integrate" upped the game high enough for this mom to think entry into Harvard was just a whistle away.
She likely was expecting marble sculpting, composition for the harpsichord, Olympic training and Mandarin 101.
This mother sold herself a bill of goods, paid a fine price for it and was disappointed to discover her daughter was learning about shapes and colors.
The nerve of letting a school get away with that just makes you want to ... buy something. Expensive.
They say there's a sucker born every minute, but this story proves people are actually lining up around the block to become suckers. And, of course, for every sucker, there's someone ripe and ready to charge that schmuck a sweet fee for her suckerdom. Because, as we know, being a sucker ain't cheap.
When you spend $19,000 a year for preschool, maybe you should ask yourself why you would ever be foolish enough to do such a thing.
It's PRESCHOOL. Puhlease, people.
You chuck your kid into preschool because -- face it, lady -- you don't have the time to do all the kiddie-stuff on your own. That's what preschool is for, whether you admit it or not.
If you're paying premium prices to have someone baby-sit your kid -- oops, I mean, teach your child in a "warm and safe environment" -- then it might be time to examine why you aren't taking a more hands-on approach, either caring for your kid yourself, or spending your cash on a tutor.
I can only imagine what the poor baby has to go through when she comes home from preschool, hoping to put her crayon drawing up on the fridge, only to have her hopes crushed by a mom who was hoping for something more along the lines of a finished thesis titled "The History of Quantum Physics and String Theory."
The price of that Ivy League education just keeps getting steeper.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 3)
3-16-2011 @ 3:01PM
Sherry said...Love both takes on this! I send my son to pre-school, it was local, friendly, did not cost $19,000/year, and they prepared him to enter Kindergarten, not Harvard, which is what I expected and what was promised. I had no idea that these days kids get homework in Kindergarten but the pre-school did and they prepared all the kids for it.
I think that if they had not I would have been as upset as Nicole Imprescia is. The cost of tuition isn't really an issue for me here (but c'mon $19 Grand for pre-school!!!) it's the fact that she paid for something and it wasn't delivered.
I did not use pre-school as a baby sitting service, although I see how some parents could. However, it was handy to have 2 1/2 hours a few days a week to get some errands and housework done in solitude, plus my son learned his ABC's, 123's and made friends that he still has today.
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3-16-2011 @ 1:58PM
Martini said...This lawsuit is ridiculous! To expect a preschool to be heavily "academic" just shows how gullible the parent is! The most important part of preschool is to teach children how to interact with others. I paid close to this much for my son's preschool, but not because it was "academic" or made crazy promises about the Ivy League. I did so because it was a great school with lots of stimulation, a great mix of kids, and positive role modeling in the classroom.
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3-16-2011 @ 7:02PM
jonahboy said...This woman is absolutely correct to sue. You are living in fantasy land if you think kids don't need to be prepared to get into a good, private elementary school. Although it's a sad state of affairs, where one goes to elementary and high school will determine, for most students, where they will get into college. My daughter is now about to graduate Princeton U. She grew up in Los Angeles, and we couldn't get her into a "really" good pre school. However, we found an amazing resource called the Renaissance School and Tutoring Center. So she went to a "play" kind of nursery school, but was tutored to prep her to get into Kindergarten at a "good" school. And yes, we felt dumb paying for Nursery School and private tutoring. Looking back, it was worth every penny. She got into a great elementary school and high school and then Princeton.
And, trust me, she would not have gotten into the great elementary school without the tutoring.
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3-17-2011 @ 8:56AM
publicjoe said...This is ridiculous. My kids did a combination of public school and even home school, then state universities and all got into graduate and professional schools of their choice....one is currently at yale, one at medical school, all make healthy salaries. I think they spent the preschool years climbing trees and riding bicycles.
3-17-2011 @ 12:17PM
asiarocco said...Jonahboy...I guess you feel suing is a way of life..a way to blame someone else for one's own fault. First off, it is the Parents responsibility to take care of their child and to teach them about character building and consequences of one's OWN actions. There are many foolish people in this world who are looking to blame others for their own downfalls. Life is full of ups and downs....so learn from it and suck it up!!! People, they amaze me!
3-17-2011 @ 6:38AM
Janet said...Preschools are a great place for children to meet new friends and learn to socialize with their peers. Thank goodness I live in suburban New Jersey where I don't have to worry about getting into a "great" private elementary school. Our public schools are great and our kids get into great colleges, including Ivy League schools.
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3-17-2011 @ 7:14AM
Barbara said...Play is the work of children. If any of you knew what the ERB looks like, you'd know that drilling academics isn't the way to get a child to do well on them.
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3-17-2011 @ 7:27AM
Joey D said...This reminds me of the most frivolous lawsuit of all time. A few years ago in Washington DC a man sued a cleaners for $65 million for losing the pants from his suit. The basis of his lawsuit was that there was a sign in the store that read 'satisfaction guarenteed'. End result, the man lost his lawsuit and also his $105,000 a year job as a judge.
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3-17-2011 @ 9:56AM
Pat said...And put the cleaners out of business, a couple who had worked their entire life holding this business together.
3-18-2011 @ 2:30AM
Anna said...@Dori - "Smells like a scalding hot coffee lawsuit, if you ask me"
Interesting story: I used to roll my eyes at the hot-coffee-lawsuits/Stella Awards. Then a friend of mine got a blisteringly hot cup of coffee from (major fast food restraunt) and upon taking a sip, dropped it in his lap out of shock when it burned him. He ended up going to the ER with first degree burns (which granted, can be along the lines of a severe sunburn, but still .. it was coffee for heavens sake) and his polyester-blend pants had partially melted. I have a little more sympathy for hot-coffee-burn complaints now. :)
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3-17-2011 @ 7:57AM
Rick Ferrucci said...The parents of these kids know that paying $19,000./ per year for an education, won't make their kids any smarter. To them it's all just a portfolio. They feel that by the time their kids are in college, with all the money they've spent, their kids deserve Ivy league.Grades or quality of education make no difference. Even attending those schools is about politics. The rich will always be in fierce competition amongst themselves to show others how much they are capable of spending. It's all arrogance yet it's the Republican way.
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3-17-2011 @ 8:18AM
Cheryl said...I was with you until you said that "it's the Republican way". If you look at the stats, your wealthy are not republican they are democrat and they vote that way. Don't make it political. You were right when you said the wealthy compete against each other to show how much money they spend.
3-17-2011 @ 8:45AM
Sue said...Hey Rick, chill out. Light up that doobie and munch on some government cheese. Socialism is on it's way.
3-17-2011 @ 1:51PM
Rick said...You people call me a socialist, but this is how it starts,and because of it someday all pre-school will end up costing ridiculous amounts. and all subsequent schooling will proportionately follow suit. You people call it capitalism but it's just price-fixing thievery. Is this how you make your tax breaks trickle down?
3-17-2011 @ 8:04AM
b1 said...The story does not give enough details as to what other responsibilties did this mom perform so her child could enter the world as one of theprivelage few,more insight needs to be given on the home life.Another point ,these schools while technicaly maybe eposes a child tomore technical information they DO NOT prepare them for the real world mainly because they are around mainly like incomes or at least a world that is removed from dealing with people of all backgrounds and if they are fortunate and their technical expertise keeps them in that income area (which has nothing to do with class)then they will do fine,but into todays world the chances are you are not going to spend you working life unruffled.
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3-17-2011 @ 8:13AM
jay said...Is this mother an idiot ... $19K for pre-school and now a lawsuit??? Hey Mom ... try being just that ... a mom. Spend some time with your kids instead of bragging at high tea about how Johnny is going to a "fab" pre-school. What a 5 star stooge!!!
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3-17-2011 @ 8:17AM
b1 said...She would've been better off to put all that money she spent i mean every thingshe spent towards this type of school which is easily 25000 to 30000 in a sock each and every term and saving it and working with the child (unless the child has some serious learning disabilites) until a path has been determined then re evaluting the situatuation while all so teaching the child how to manage money.Some thing is way off here. There so many doctors who took positons in Medical Schools away from people who really wanted pratcice medicine and several years in pratice the doctors decided the they wanted to be in in another totaly unrelated business and we need good doctors so that means the had the grades but not hte deep desire and they beat domebody else out who would practicing medicine.(just an example)
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3-17-2011 @ 8:19AM
Patsy said...I have empathy for this mother. I did not send my child to an Ivy League prep preschool, just one that was suppose to be a caring, clean and decent preschool with certified teachers. Imagine my surprise when after two weeks of kindergarten, the school contacted me and requested to move her to a prekindergarten class because she was so far behind the other children. This was the first time a problem had ever been mentioned. I very much feel that I was ripped off. She would have better prepared for school staying home with me, even though I don't profess to being any kind of teacher.
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3-17-2011 @ 8:46AM
Molly6 said...wrong school, wrong teachers. You child was not holding the class back, the teachers were lazy. They should have worked with your child to get her to the best of her ability and helped you to help her. I/ve also thought preK should teach children how to go to school, how to behave wait your turn, concentrate sit quietly, raise your hand, in addition to numbers letters colors. Sometimes the little unacredited church sponsored PreK is the best, most nurturing choice. I pray you find a school you are comfortable with and that she is happy with school and loves to learn. Hey there is nothing wrong with a C student, I always say, There is a famous C student who grew up; to be president!
3-17-2011 @ 8:33AM
Melissa said...I think this is an absolutely ridiculous situation. Yes, if you're spending $19,000 a year on pre-school, then of course you harbor the right to expect a little more than any othe pre-school. However, it's the mothers responsibility to do her research before just tossing her child into ANY child care environment to ensure she's getting what she's paying for. Also, I'll add in that they promised the children would be ready for the exam required for admittance to the elite and private ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Nothing was mentioned about college. It's also the mothers responsibility to keep the learning going at home. Making learning fun, making activities into hidden learning experiences. I'd say the mother is more to blame than the pre-school in this case. If you had $19,000 to throw away on a pre-school, you should have just taken that year off from work. Gone to a few mommy-and-me play dates in order to keep your child socialized, and then you would have been able to ensure she'd be getting the educational background you desire, and you'd get to spend some real one-on-one time with your kid before life really has an opportunity to get in the middle of things. I can't shake my head enough at this woman. Yes, the pre-school should have given more, but how much research did this mother do prior to sending her child in order to determine she was getting her monies worth? Ridiculous!
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