SmackDown: Should Parents Expect Pricey Preschools to Get Their Kids into the Ivy League?

Obviously, the child should be taken away from this "mother" and placed in a kind and loving home. Next act of this "mother" will be suing the school for serving the wrong brand of apple sauce! This mother needs to to be taught in Guantanamo Bay. Somedtimes a brutal beating might be the only choice for this type of parenting. Hopefully, the Judge will remand this mother to custody and place the lovely child in Foster Care and removed from Day Care.

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I see both sides of this because I think when you spend your money (however stupidly), you should get what you were promised--BUT, I think this is just about the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of, to spend that kind of money to ensure a 4 year old gets into an Ivy League school, as if attendance at an Ivy League school is the key to success and happiness. I know there are social circles where these things "matter," but I have to ask myself--if I lived someplace where my child couldn't get a great education in a public school, why would I live there? That people, in this day and age, when there are so many serious issues facing our country--indeed, our planet--would still be sitting around the sandbox (or is it the nannies that do that?) talking about what la de da elementary school little Winston or Harriet got into, is really not just stupid, but unseemly. Ivy League schools take many bright young people from all over the country who graduated from public high schools. And there are outstanding universities all over the country turning out leaders in business and politics and medicine (presumably this woman has a career path selected for her little darling already). If what she is looking for is the advantage of social connections from attending Harvard or Yale ("My little Melanie went to 4th grade with the President, way back then.") then she is probably in for a rude awakening--kids who are channeled and pushed hard by their parents as kids into fitting some pre-concieved mold often end up rebelling by doing exactly the opposite. I remember well the attitudes of some of the moms of my kid's classmates who thought they had their kid's lives all figured out for them--and plenty of them ended up drugging and with DUIs and teen pregnancies, or in spite of avoiding all of that, deciding not to go to college, or choosing to go to the state school where all their friends were going, and studying anthropology or social work. The best thing we can do for our kids is to spend time with them, help them to discover a lot about the world and what interests them, and then take the steps necessary to help them channel their interests and abilities into useful, meaningful lives. That is not to say that we should not encourage our children, and hold them to high standards, both academically and personally, but we must also remember that they are children, not just small adults--and that we don't own them. This mother needs to take a step back and ask herself, honestly, what would be the consequences of her daughter not getting into the elite kindergarden? Does she really believe that her daughter's life will be seriously impacted by this--or is it just that she worries about her own standing in her social circle if her daughter has to go to some "inferior" school--for not knowing algebra as a 4 year old?

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Both of my daughters went to preschool (one is currently in it as I type) and never did I expect them to be prepared for the Ivy Leagues at this young age. That is for when they are older. My older one could read and write her letters and do some simple reading and math by the time she entered kindergarten and my younger one is well on her way and I think even a little more advanced than her sister was (product of having a big sister to emulate). It is a parent’s responsibility to assist the school in making sure their child is ready. My older daughter has had a tutor (paid for by me) since the summer after kindergarten and I am considering having the tutor work with my younger daughter once a week in the summer before she starts kindergarten as well to give her a leg up. It does take a village and we all have to play our part and not rely solely on the preschool.

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York Ave Preschool (or any preschool) cannot and does not promise to get your kid into an ivy league college or, in this case, even into one of the top-tier private schools. They promise to prepare your kids with basic age-appropriate academic and social skills needed for kindergarten (not to school them in how to take the ERB) and help you through the private school application process. They freely provide parents with an accurate list of schools to which their kids have been accepted.

In ultra-competitive NYC, where public schools are overcrowded and under funded and schools vary vastly from neighborhood to neighborhood, it is understandable that parents - many who are not wealthy - prefer their kids to go to priviate school. And since there aren't enough spots in private schools for all the applicants, it's understandable that parents are anxious about test scores. However, teaching for test scores at any age does a real disservice to our kids.

Before anyone judges parents for spending $19,000 for preschool, they should be aware that that is pretty much the going rate for all private preschools in NYC, not just "elite" ones, and there is not much of a choice. Also, there are not enough public pre-k programs in NYC and it's extremely difficult to get into one. Many parents send their kids to the private, costly preschools and then enroll them in public school.

It should also be noted that several factors other than ERB scores seem to have more influence on getting kids accepted at top private schools in NYC. Legacies, siblings, and those falling in the diversity category have priority. And lets not forget about the children of celebrities and those of social standing. After these slots are taken there are few left and those usually go to the kids from the preschools where the directors have the most influence.

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This is just sour grapes to me, $19k ouch all around. I used to work in a daycare and preschool. I can't imagine having a hard classroom setting studying for an exam at pre-K age. Their attention spans are way too short for that, and they learn more from play than from books. They can't even read yet, how are they gonna pass a test? My advice, cheaper route is swallow your pride and stay at home with your child or at least investigate the preschool before you commit. When I worked in daycare, a lot of the time we spent more time with your kids than you do. 6:30am all the way to 6 pm at night, by the time you come mosying in all the kid has time for is dinner and then put to bed probably an hour or two later.

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My daughter's ages 22 and 9, both attended different pre-schools and enjoyed their time at these schools. Yes, they did learn some academic things like reading, numbers, writing, alphabet, arts, crafts, games, etc but the academics were for their age level no big pressure to push them too hard. To give them a good social experience there was group play, snacks, story time, dress-up etc. I guess you could say it was a "fun learning" time for both. My older daughter was a gifted student all through her school years and will be graduating with her BA this year and applying to dental schools to continue her studies to be an orthodontist. My younger daughter has been in the gifted program since 1st grade and loves school! While I feel pre-school is a good thing, more important is parental involvement in your child's learning from the beginning and ALL through their educational years. Not every child will excel or be a gifted child in school but that does not mean they will not be successful adults. Be involved parents, encourage and praise your children as they go through school. It's a wonderful thing when my little comes home from school and is excited about showing her dad and I her papers from school then telling us about her day. She knows we are truly interested in her progress good or bad. My older daughter, as an adult at the university, is the same way. She calls several times a week to let us know how things are going with her whether it's a success or a struggle, etc. I am very proud of both of my daughters. I will continue to be supportive and encourage them in any way I can. Simply put, I love my children!

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Elitist knuckleheads. Just like those morons that use flash cards with their 2 year olds....morons. The old nuns I had in grammar school could teach rings around these overpriced daycares.

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Anyone who would spend $19,000.00 to send a child to preschool is way to dumb to have kids.

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I think this lawsuit is absolutely frivolous. First off, it is impossible for anyone to guarantee that a pre-K student will do well in Kindergarten, let alone Harvard! There are just too many things that can come into play, such as: 1. Is the home environment healthy, happy and conducive to learning? The school can't do squat about that. 2. Is the child bright enough to achieve any of the parents pre-conceived expectations? Sometimes parents like to blame anyone and anything before turning the mirror inward and seeing perhaps that Johnny just isn't Harvard material.
Secondly, if this lady was so unhappy with her daughter learning shapes and colors, then she should have intervened after two or three months into the school year. Sitting on one's hands for a whole year and then looking for reparations when you've done nothing to improve your situation, is proof enough to me that her Harvard plans must not have been more important than sitting and stewing so that she could file the suit at a later date. That family has major problems...the least of which is little Lucia not getting into Harvard. Their biggest problem that I can see is that they are not the slightest bit concerned what this lawsuit and the notoriety that this case has brought to the world, will do to their child.

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I am highly offended and think it's rude that both writers decided to call preschool a "warehouse" for "lazy" parents. Preschool and daycare are two completely different things. My son goes to preschool a few hours a day, a couple days a week. It is not becase I am too "lazy" to teach him. I am a stay at home mom and he learns plenty at home. Going to school is a way for him to socialize, be independent, and make new friends.

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This is about the dumbest thing I ever heard. Preschool doesn't prepare kids for college. It gets them used to other kids and think about it, getting used to being away from mom. I couldn't afford preschool when my kids were small. They did just fine. I know people that spent thousands on preschool, extra tutoring, sending the kids to all kids of activities and the best colleges money could find. Those kids are now sitting home and paying off the student loans. No great jobs that they thought would be automatic when they got out of college. Some people come out of college no smarter then when they went in. Money doesn't buy everything.
What I'm saying is you don't need fancy schools or private schools to get anywhere.
"Lawsuit" is the worst word in the English Language. This is going too far. Just as dumb as the judge losing his pants, the women who spilled hot coffee on her crotch, (who would put a hot cup of coffee between her legs) and a criminal that gets caught ripping off someones house and sues when they get arrested.
Like a previous person said, it's up to the parent to look into the schools she sends her kids to. I doubt a preschool would advertise getting your kids ready for college.

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Has there been a study to find what % of people who go to places like Harvard actually went to these fancy preschools? Plenty of people who went to regular schools get in so it is just a waste of money. I know some schools boast that 95% of graduates go to College or University but how many of them get to Harvard and how many just go to a "regular" post- secondaary school?

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First, $19K may sound like a lot, but I know rates in other areas where clean, caring, play-based programs are $12K/year and up. For Manhattan, $19K really isn't out of line. My 4 year old seeks out learning opportunities, loves to see how high he can count (into the hundreds) can sound out phonics, etc. I would be upset if he were put with 3 year olds learning colors since he would get bored which leads to behavior issues. Kids love to learn and be challenged as long as they see it as FUN. Puzzles, games, crafts all teach different skills, exercise the child's brain, and here's a crazy concept - KIDS LOVE THEM. Learning to socialize with other kids without constant one-on-one attention is also a skill that is important and which is best learned in a preschool environment without overprotective mom hovering around.

I am offended and angry at the author (Dori)'s implication that anyone who puts their child in daycare/preschool full time is an inept parent who doesn't care about their child and is looking for convenience. Dori, in my mind, is the idiot. These days, there are many dual income parents with full time jobs. I am a woman and am the primary provider for my family. Sure I could quit so that I could educate my child (for which I have no training, but hey, according to you people, because I have a uterus I must be qualified), but I would have to do it on the street since we would be homeless. I don't have any grand ambitions to force my child into Ivy Leage. I do expect that he will go to college and perform to the best of his ability in public school along the way.

Wake up people. Working parents are a way of life these days and that fact does not make those parents bad people.

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Wow, I really didn't like EITHER of these stories. Both were pretty sarcastic and guilt-tripping. Since when was sending your kids to preschool something to be ashamed of? It used to be a sign that you valued your kids education. Now its supposed to be something only selfish parents do to get some precious time to themselves? Curse those parents who don't want to spend all their time reading Doctor Seuss books, watching the same shows over and over, growing and creating delicious organic meals, homeschooling, etc! Parents can't do it all, it just isn't possible. And besides, kids would rather have happy and balanced parents than one who is stressed out trying to out-perform the ideal.

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