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Try This: Kids and Dating
Filed under: Try This
When it comes to teens and dating, we wish we could lock them up and not let them date until they're 30. But, when the teen years hit, reality sets in -- the crushes start turning into puppy-love relationships.
So, how young is too young when it comes to teens and dating?
These New York moms weighed in on the ideal age for teens to start dating and there seemed to be no common consensus.
Dr. Phil says, "Teenagers shouldn't have serious dating relationships. No 14-year-old needs to have an intense boyfriend or girlfriend." He offers the following advice on his blog:
-Don't allow your teenager to close the bedroom door when someone of the opposite sex is over. This should be a non-negotiable rule.
-Talk with your teenager. The more conversations you have, the less likely he/she will be to get into trouble. If you've always kept the door open for discussions, your child will be more likely to come to you with questions or problems.
-If you're too oppressive and restrictive, you are guaranteeing rebellion. Use logic and reason when creating rules for your teenager.
-Don't just forbid certain activities, explain why you forbid them. Doing this will help your teenager understand that you're not merely trying to be bossy or imposing arbitrary rules.
-As a parent, it's your job to teach your teenager the importance of self-worth. Teenagers who value themselves as they are won't need to "find themselves" in other people.











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 8)
3-29-2011 @ 1:11PM
yolanda said...hey jan you white trash, i don't know why the hell you brought up
mexicans in this conversation you shouldn't be talking if you don't
know what the hell your talking about because first of all america was
home of the indians until the white people came and stole their land
so stop talking shit about mexicans because there is high percentage
of people that their relatives come from other countries like germany oh and have you seen teen mom on mtv all the girls on there are white trash just like you haha
3-29-2011 @ 6:07AM
Lily said...I am a single mom and wanted nothing more than to get my kids out of day care. I kept looking for a way out until a friend of mine told me that she found a way a to make a great income from home . She told me that she found out about it at this website ( HttP://bit.LY/MomsHomeIncome ) I was very skeptical but I figured that I had nothing to lose by checking it out. I ended up getting a great work-at-home situation and I not only make good money now but I get to spend most of my day doing what I love… being a mommy!
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3-29-2011 @ 8:11AM
Coop said...Why of course, ask the doctor of nothing his advice. All he is or will become is Orca's slave. Whoops, what I mean is Oprah. Ahh, same difference.
3-29-2011 @ 1:49PM
Carlos said...Just start giving them condoms at 12.
3-29-2011 @ 4:01PM
D said...to Dale Horn, it is you maybe you are the stupid one being duped, read this;
Dr. Phil isn't a medical doctor (or a D.O. or a dentist or any other legitimate medical professional). He has a Ph.D., so he's entitled to the title, but isn't his act a little misleading to the general public? I know if someone hung a shingle and called themselves a "J.D.," you can rest assured that someone from that state's bar would be raising an eyebrow if that person all of a sudden started representing clients.
According to his Wikipedia page, Phil McGraw got his psychology degree from Midwestern State University in Texas and got his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from University of North Texas. What I learned (at least according to Wikipedia) is that even his own profession has sanctioned him: "The Texas State Board of Examiners of Psychologists imposed disciplinary sanctions on McGraw on January 27, 1989 for an inappropriate "dual relationship" reported in 1988 by a therapy client/employee from 1984." And, the real kicker: "As of 2008, McGraw has not completed the conditions imposed by the Board of Examiners of Psychologists, and he is not licensed to practice psychology." So, at least the profession considers this guy as a sort of rogue psychologist. Like Mumford.
My point to this isn't to knock Dr. Phil; obviously he provides a service to many people's daily afternoon routines. My problem is with the media's coverage of this and how many people will be mistaken in thinking that Dr. Phil is some sort of miracle worker doctor that can help Spears (or anyone for that matter) out. At least he didn't try and prescribe her medicine and in the end, simply advised the family to that she needs to seek professional help. Well Dr. Phil, it doesn't take a Ph.D. (or a J.D.) (or any other degree) to figure that one out. But hey, it's all about ratings anyway in the television world, right? And any press is better than no press.
At least those in the medical profession have criticized this blatant publicity stunt. See Oh Dr. Phil, Leave Britney Alone and Get Real. Leave that type of work to the real celebrity doctors, like Dr. Drew. At least Dr. Drew has his M.D.
3-22-2011 @ 2:40AM
jonilewis22 said...You and a pretty redhead are tucked away in a corner table at that impossible-to-get-into new French bistro. she’s laughing at your jokes, twirling her hair, and giving other crystal-clear signs she’s into you. Or is she? Check out interesting tips at "Lightning Dating" website
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3-29-2011 @ 6:12AM
damon said...Dr. Phil is NOT a doctor. In fact, he is a hypocrite and a liar according to reports. Google him and see for yourself.
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3-29-2011 @ 11:58AM
C said...He doesn't need to be a DOCTOR to give out good common sense advise. His above statement is so true.
3-29-2011 @ 1:19PM
Bob said...And you will get the " skinny " on Google . LOL
3-29-2011 @ 2:46PM
Dale Horn said...DAMON, are you just stupid? Dr. Phil is a DR. My son has the same degree(s) and is Dr. Mike, i.e. he has a docorate.
See this:
Dr. Phil graduated in 1975 from Midwestern State University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology. He went on to earn a master's degree in experimental psychology in 1976, and a Ph.D in clinical psychology in 1979 at the University of North Texas,[6] where his dissertation was titled "Rheumatoid Arthritis: A Psychological Intervention".[7] After run-ins with several faculty members,[8] McGraw was guided through the doctoral program by Frank Lawlis, who later became the primary contributing psychologist for the Dr. Phil television show.[9]
After obtaining his Ph.D., McGraw joined his father, Dr. Joe McGraw, in Wichita Falls, Texas, where the elder McGraw had established his private psychology practice.[10]
3-29-2011 @ 6:34AM
Sunday said...At what age should you allow your teens to date? IMO, it's a toss-up. Depends on the maturity of your teenager. Every teen is different. My daughter was allowd to date at 16 yrs old. Accept birth control - because it's important to prevent an unwanted pregnancy at a young age. My daughter ended up marrying her high school sweetheart when they were 27 yrs old. Thank God we sailed through those years successfully! But remember...every teenager is different - not all kids are ready to date at the same age. Use your judgement.as a parent. You know your child better than anyone else.
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3-29-2011 @ 9:52AM
Sun said...Wow, you seem like a really great mom. It's so nice when a peole end up marrying their highschool sweetheart. I hope that happens to me =P
3-29-2011 @ 12:00PM
Tammy Gary said...I totally agree with the post from the parent who said that it depends on the teenager, every teens maturity level is different. As a parent only you would know, and also I think it also depends if your talking about a boy or girl. We all worry so much about our teen girls(probably because they are the ones who lives change if they become pregnant). But so does the boys life. I have two children, girl 15 and a boy 11. So far I have a good open door policy with them. Which I feel is the main key. There is nothing worse for a teen, when they are confused or frightened about some thing and feel like they cant talk to their parents. Also its important that we obviously teach them about the "birds and the bees", as the old saying goes. About the consequenses of our actions and choices we make. But I feel as parents, we have to also calm down our attitude and fear about the choices they are going to make. All the worry and strictness we impose on them is NOT going to stop them if they really want to have sex or see a boy or girl. If we make them think or feel like its a forbidden and bad fruit, then they will only be more curious. Dont make it a big deal until it is one. But once again every family and their children are different and not everyone can go by the same guidelines. Thats what makes the world go around, Thank goodness we are al different!
3-29-2011 @ 11:51AM
karen said...My friend started dating her HS sweetheart at 16-they married when they were 27...he cheated on her with a 23 year old, they have two little kids and they are getting a divorce. just saying you don't know what someone is going to become when you start dating as a guppie.
3-29-2011 @ 6:39AM
EDUARDO said...I WAS GIRL CRAZY FROM THE TIME I HIT MIDDLE SCHOOL...AND I HAVENT CHANGED...IM 57 Y/O....BUT MY PARENTS MADE SURE I KNEW THE RULES.
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3-29-2011 @ 11:49AM
stina said...I am now 47. When I was 12 my mother allowed me to date a 16 year old boy. Now that i'm a mom . . . she was NUTS to let me!!
3-29-2011 @ 6:54AM
M. Schaefer said...Kids personalities are set by the time they're 5 or 6. Their hormones start kicking in between 10 and 16. 1000 years ago 12 was considered marrying age in Europe. Juliet in Shakespeare's play was around 12-13. Making them wait to date doesn't assure happiness, a good job, or a stable marriage, but it's best if they get some life skills and job skills before getting into any committed romantic relationship.
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3-29-2011 @ 4:06PM
Annie said...1000 years ago people did not live as long as they did today. Along with poor health they also did not have teeth, food, clean living conditions. It's a different world today. Too much information at a young age is very confusing. Children need to be children and gradually grow from stage to stage with counseling from their parents i.e., dialogue from both parent and child.
3-29-2011 @ 9:12PM
JohnK said...To Annie, you are right they didn't live as long. Did you know that in 1900, the average life expectancy of an American man was 45?
3-29-2011 @ 6:56AM
Loren said...My wife has been my girl friend sinse 9th grade we got married right out of highschool, still went to college, struggled and have now been married for 31 years and going strong. Maybe not the best way to go but it worked for us. Were there times we wanted out? Yes, but we worked it out.
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