Try This: Kids and Dating

It's not the teen's behavior that makes dating uncomfortable. There is nothing more messed up about dating than the parental reaction. I have a twin set of control freaks for parents. When I meet a boy (friend or boyfriend), they turn from humans to hawks. Silently gliding overhead, hovering nearby, waiting for their prey to make one careless move, then swoop in for the kill. I know that sounds extreme... where's my sword!

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TOO MANY parents wait way too late to preparing teens especially girls. for teen issues. Most girls are at least one yr if not two emotionally ahead of boys. So they want to date older teens and older teen boys have a strong sexual desire to capture those young new girls looking for a thrill. 8 is too late to talk with girls about the difference between boys & girls I not talking about the different between the legs but between the ears. Also too many MOMS push girls to look, act older. let them enjoy childhood games and parties and just being kids a while longer. A girl 15 or 16 is ready for dating as long as it is the same age boy. for her to date a boy older is putting her out for a thrill of life you may not be happy about; she is the kid and you should be the parent. I paid for their dates and drove them and picked them up later. the girl always went home first whether my daughter or not. then later picnics together with several kids they invite. I hear some who say well we dont have money to do that. we did not either; so you keep cars longer; no new toys and put it on card and pay it out. teen years are important and need to be fun; so pay for it now or pay for it later. parents stop being buddies to your teens; THEY HATE IT ANY WAY. Be what you are!. 8 is TOO LATE to start rearing TEENS. TEEN BOYS are all about SCOURING so talk with them about the other items of the sports game. For instances Fouls, Outs, player choosen to play who has not been to practice (fairplay) not having proper equipment, etc. Understand their terms

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i completely disagree with this. when i first got into my relationship that i am in now, i was 15 going on 16, and she was 14. and we have had a serious relationship for 5 years now. dr phil has no idea what he is talking about, in my opinion at least. i believe that if you can have a serious relationship at such a young age, then that is absolutely incredible. because most teens last only a couple days, and act as if they are heartbroken.

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My son is 13 and has a girlfriend. He keeps begging me to go over to her house or have her over our house. I know if they were in my house they would not be allowed alone, not so sure about her house. But do I really want to start these types of things so young. Of course her mother says its fine. Is is unreasonable for me to just say no, because he's to young? Do any other parents here allow thier 13 or 14 year olds to go to boy/girlfriends house??

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Giving your young daughter birth control pills is the like saying "Here you go honey, my young little slut"
Might as well give her up for prostitution so she can have a pimp who will at least pretend to care for her.
What ever happened to morals and teaching your daughters to have some self respect. Now they're all growing to be sluts thanks to mothers like you

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I'm 18 and don't see any reason for dating someone unless they'd make a good husband. I see no reason for having multiple ex-boyfriends roaming my world.

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Sherryl, plenty of white girls get knocked up, too, and there are plenty of white boys contributing to the numbers.

As to the rest of what you say, hand jobs are never quite as satisfying as the full sexual experience, which means teens likely won't be easily satisfied with them either. Besides, who knows what's on those hands or privates before sex starts, or whether folks are smart or thorough (or paranoid) enough to wash their hands after, before touching anything else (eyes, body, food, etc.). Unprotected oral sex is just as dangerous as unprotected vaginal and anal sex. I read a few weeks ago (can't remember where) that a full 50% of sexually active males are carriers of HPV, which can lead to genital warts, as well as the equivalent in your anus, mouth, and throat. These can become cancerous. They are spread through skin contact, so you don't even need to exchange bodily fluids. When those fluids are added into the mix (males do have fluid dribbling from them, even before the moment of ejaculation, and females certainly do secrete fluids), then you welcome in a whole host of other nasty diseases, all delivered neatly into a moist, warm mouth and throat lined with welcoming mucus and soft tissue.

I agree with you in the simple fact that they need education early. We need to get in their brains BEFORE they reach puberty, I think, because once that arrives, they'll want to hit the ground running! BOTH sexes need education about pregnancy and diseases (effects, transmission, and ALL methods of avoidance - yes, including abstinence, which is still the most effective way), Young people these days are being infected at an alarming rate, because they think oral and anal sex are risk-free and easy, not causing pregnancy. They are still ignorant of disease transmission, and it is our fault for not telling them fully. We have to be realistic. Most of us didn't wait for marriage, and they likely won't either. They are not angels, they are human beings, and often randy ones at that! Developmentally, their understanding of consequences is not fully mature, they have raging, unpredictable hormones, and they want to explore sexuality at ages we find shockingly early (due to our selective amnesia, I'm guessing). Frustratingly, you can't think for someone else, but education and open communication are crucial factors in children making generally smarter decisions amongst all the stupid mistakes they will inevitably make.

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My daughter is in 5th grade and some of her 10 year old friends are allowed to date- dating as in the parents drop off the boy and girl at a restaurant and then pick them up. I feel this is CRAZY! The people are asking for trouble in a few years!

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I started reading but when I got to where it said fil, I stopped. Why would I want to read an article from a hunk of crap like that? Well I don`t is the answer. O & sherryl, you need to get the nobel piece prize.

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Why not look to the Bible for the answer.
1 Corinthians 7:36-38
What exactly is dating?
It is best to define it as any social activity in which your romantic interest is focused on one particular person and that person’s romantic interest is focused on you. Whether in a group or in private, whether on the phone or in person, whether in the open or in secret, if you and a friend of the opposite sex have a special romantic understanding, it’s dating.
In many cultures dating is regarded as a legitimate way for two people to become better acquainted. But dating should have a noble purpose—to help a young man and woman determine if they would be suitable marriage partners for each other. Why?
The Bible uses the phrase “bloom of youth” to describe the time of life when sexual feelings and romantic emotions become strong. (1 Corinthians 7:36) To maintain close association with one particular member of the opposite sex while you are still in “the bloom of youth” can fan the flames of desire and cause you to learn the hard way the wisdom of Galatians 6:7: “Whatever a man is sowing, this he will also reap.”
Some might date without any intention of marriage. They may view their opposite-sex friend as nothing more than a trophy or an accessory to be seen with in public to boost their own self-esteem. Playing with someone’s affections in that way is cruel, and it comes as no surprise that such relationships are often short-lived. Many young ones who date break up with each other a week or two later, they come to view relationships as transitory—which in a sense prepares them for divorce rather than for marriage.
Recreational or casual dating—pairing off merely for fun or for the sake of having a boyfriend or a girlfriend—can easily lead to hurt feelings.
When it comes to dating it is best to wait until you are past the bloom of youth and in a position to contemplate marriage seriously.
There is much more direction on living a happy, moral and principled life found in the Bible.

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Who is Dr. Phil to be giving parents advice on dating ? I can't believe that he hasn't suggested that they should date Playboy Playmates. One was recently spotted with Hugh Hefner's fiancee. Just shut up Dr. Phil, when you can't teach your own kid's how to date.

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Mental/psychological maturity of the youth is the key.
(i.e., Understanding and showing responsibility.)
I was 17 (going on 15), and she was 16 going on 18 when we first
dated.
Two years later, I was 19 (going on 18) and she was 18 going on 20. when we, married.
After 10 years of marriage, I had learned a great deal from her, and continue to do so.
Today, after 60 years of marriage, I am 80 and she is a beautiful, young-at-heart, loving "65".
EVERYBODY loves her !!!
I am in deed the lucky one!!

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this is totally BULL ! ! ! ! i am 12 years old& i have a REAL relationship with a 14 year old. we go out places& we kiss.....we do everything a 30 year old would do.....is this fake "Dr." phil ?

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I give my kids condoms at the age of 56

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I have two girls, 12 and 10. The ten year old has had "several" boyfriends since she was five. I am so worried about dating for real. I keep telling my little one that she will be 25 and I will be going on car dates with her. The thought of them dating scares the heck out of me!!

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SHANNON, you do "EVERYTHING a 30 yr. old does? Then that must mean having sex. You are much too young for that. Ever see the TV show, 16 and pregnant?

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I understand kids get to a point where they begin feeling attracted to the opposite sex (or even the same sex for that matter) and begin having crushes, however I do not believe teens should not have serious relationships while in high school. It only deters them from focusing on what's important for their future. Sorry, but in today's day and age,we don't need any more uneducated mothers that suck the life out of taxpayers. I understand this is in a perfect world, however, parents must communicate with their teens openly about this topic and put limits as to how far it goes ("no you can't see him every night," "no he is not allowed in this house when we aren't home," "no he is not allowed in your bedroom," and "no, you are only 15, you cannot date until you are 17," etc.). Your children won't rebel if they know you love them, you communicate your reasoning (being open), and they understand your reasoning. Kids that rebel are the ones that may not have good role models as parents or have something against them for various reasons.

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