Hot on HuffPost Parents:
Charlotte Robinson: LISTEN: How Gay And Lesbian Couples Become…
New Turnaround Teacher 'Trying To Get It Right' In Tough School
Tips for a Future Stepdad Who Doesn't Know a Lot About Girls Yet
Filed under: Divorce & Custody, Opinions
Illustration by Dori Hartley
When it comes to love, I've always believed if it's right, it's right, and that I'd know it. But a good checklist never hurts, either.
A while back, my daughters and I made a list of qualities that were must-haves in any fellow who dared brave our castle:
- Gentle
- Funny
- Kind
- Proactive
- Warm
- Loves Kids
- Likes Travel
- Honest
- Compatible (day-to-day, easygoing)
- Forgiving
- Fun
To my delight and amazement, he is as right as can be -- not just for me, but for our Girl Posse. As Daughter No. 1 said early on about him, "This one has potential."
It's official.
I choose him. He chooses me, and -- most importantly -- he chooses my girls.
We have begun planning a future, this man of "potential" and I -- a future full of little girls, big dogs, stray cats, juggled schedules, combined households and cluttered bathroom counters. He's in this for all the right reasons, I can tell. And, so far, he's barely flinched, even when I've tried to paint a picture for him of the pink, frilly, froufy, ballerina tutu chaos that will infiltrate his life. Brave, intrepid man!
Note to self: Excellent wedding gift -- look up builders who specialize in add-on "man caves."
The girls have given their blessing. So, now, we enter a new phase: we three girls getting oriented. My daughters and I have had several girl-power pancake summits this past week, trying to come up with useful tips and wisdom to offer to this new man in our lives, a man who looks like he will be around for a very, very long time.
"What does he need to know?" we keep asking each other, scratching our heads. After all, we are used to our messy, funny, active life. He has no kids of his own, so this will be a wild roller coaster ride for him.
We've compiled a new list, one we hope will be useful to him, and to other good men in the same situation. The girls came up with the title, which I quite like.
Tips for a Future Stepdad Who Doesn't Know a Lot About Girls Yet
- If you are a person who marries a lady who has two girls, start to get used to the girlie songs, like Lady Gaga and Hannah Montana. (Daughter No. 2)
- He must not act like an evil stepmother, i.e., make us do chores every single second of the day. (Daughter No. 1)
- Don't yell at us. Only Mommy can do that. Unless we're in danger and about to run out in the street. (Daughter No. 2)
- Don't be too soft on us, or else we'll be miserable. Because then we won't have any discipline, and some discipline is good. (Daughter No. 1)
- Don't act like a baby. Don't whine if you don't get something you want. We all have to compromise. (Daughter No. 2)
- Don't hog Mommy, because then you'll make us very sad and you'll seem evil. Mwah-ha-ha-ha! (Daughter No. 1)
- You should always listen to Mommy. (Daughter No. 2)
- Don't ruin girlie sleepovers by asking us to do boy things like Legos. Legos are fine, just not for sleepovers with our friends. (Daughter No. 1)
- You should be very careful of when the dogs chew up the toys because I don't want your feet to get soggy. (Daughter No. 2)
- Don't try and act like a replacement for our father, but treat us and protect us like we are your kids. And we will treat you with respect, too. (Daughter No. 1)
- Help us with our homework if we need it. (Daughter No. 2)
- Help us laugh if we cry. (Daughter No. 1)
- Treat our mother like she is a mother, and also try to make her laugh. P.S. Beware of my squeaky laugh! (Daughter No. 2)
- I want you to share lots of stories, so we can get to know you better. And you don't have to say anything you don't want to. (Daughter No. 1)
- He also needs to know about little girls that ... sometimes ... they have FITS. But not all the time. (Daughter No. 2)
- Drive us places when our mom can't. (Daughter No. )
- Whenever we need to talk to someone on Skype, you should always let us. And always be there for us. (Daughter No. 2)
Check out more from Advice Mama!
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
- Paulina Rubio: No jail due to breastfeeding or celebrity treatment?
- I cant be the only resposible parent that has a child age 3 who is creative enough to escape the house. I have put up multiple barriers and if even on...
- Should i change my child's teacher? its already March but the teacher treats him so negatively.
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
How to Parent an Alpha Girl
Dr. Sylvia Gearing will teach you how to effectively parent your alpha daughter to a successful life.
-
Considering Girls' Dolls
In this episode of The Lab, Daddy Clay and Daddy Brad ponder the role of dolls in the lives of their daughters. These toys are a common gift for girls and it won't be long before your daughter has a collection of them.
-
You've Got David Hasselhoff's Tips for a Single Parent
In this edition of You've Got, David Hasselhoff gives you tips on being a single parent.
-
Leonard Sax on Girls on the Edge
In this episode of The Lab, we talk with Leonard Sax, author of "Girls On the Edge". In this parenting book, Dr. Sax outlines the challenges modern dads face when raising daughters, including the problems girls face now that they didn't face 40 years ago. He outlines four different factors that affect girls today that account for these differences. Find out what fathers can do to make their daughter healthier.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
3-25-2011 @ 12:23PM
Swistle said...I love this SO MUCH.
Reply
3-25-2011 @ 2:57PM
Meg said...Cute. I also think it's nice to see the mother concerned enough for her girls' well-being to consider what their thoughts and feelings on the matter may be. Sure they might not get final say, but letting them feel they have opinions that matter can help the whole family blend together. If you're looking for inexpensive fun family things to do together, Http://bit.ly/GoodGiveaways has some nice ideas and free games.
3-25-2011 @ 12:35PM
Julie said...GAH!!!!!!!! That is the CUTEST!!!! Squee!!! Why yes, I grew up with just sisters and my mom (occasionally) ganging up on a befuddled dad.
Reply
3-25-2011 @ 3:54PM
6512 and growing said...I love how you talk to your girls, and how free they feel to share with you.
Let the goodtimes roll!
Reply
3-25-2011 @ 5:22PM
Anonymous Med Student said...Too cute. I love this list so much. Your girls have so much insight into their lives and their needs, and are just all-around so loving and fun.
Reply
3-25-2011 @ 5:25PM
Anonymous Med Student said...Hmm, apparently I created this account a few years back. No longer craving so much anonymity, no longer a med student. I will have to figure out how to change that.
3-25-2011 @ 7:39PM
Tina said...Made me tear up, you have a great relationship with your girls for them to talk so freely about what they think they'll need
Reply