My Little One Was So Excited About Being a Big Brother ... But Not Anymore!

It certainly doesn't mean he won't get over his negative feelings and thoroughly love his little sister, but it does mean that, in a way, your little boy is grieving. He is going through many losses, and just needs some extra help to get through them.

When parents bring a newborn home, they are, for all intents and purposes, in an altered state. The first baby is a complete game-changer. We go from individuals with our own needs, wants, rhythms and moods to hardly recognizable versions of ourselves who would literally take a bullet or stop a train for this 7- or 8-pound bundle in our arms.

We sort of go crazy -- in a good way! -- as we instantaneously transform into parents, spurred on by hormones that seem to reconfigure who we are on a cellular level. Nothing will ever be the same -- ever -- when we first become parents.

When the second child arrives, that transformation has taken place, so at least we have a head start in terms of having some idea of what it means to care for a baby. Even though each child has their own temperament and personality, we've usually mastered the basics.

But what we can't be prepared for is the fact that we have now brought home to our first child a competitor for our love, time and attention. I realize we don't think of it that way (it sounds fairly awful), and it most definitely isn't what adding to our family is all about. But the initial impact on a child when a new sibling is brought into the picture is pretty much that his parents will be less "his."

While many kids are lucky enough to become the best of friends with their siblings, it's common for brothers and sisters to fight. (It's also common for them to swing back and forth between adoring and detesting one other!)

Often, sibling rivalry starts even before the second child is born, and continues as the kids grow and compete for everything from toys to attention. As kids reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one another.

It can be frustrating and upsetting to watch — and hear — your kids fight with one another. A household that's full of conflict is stressful for everyone. Yet often it's hard to know how to stop the fighting, and or even whether you should get involved at all. But you can take steps to promote peace in your household and help your kids get along.
Why Kids Fight

Many different things can cause siblings to fight. Most brothers and sisters experience some degree of jealousy or competition, and this can flare into squabbles and bickering. But other factors also might influence how often kids fight and how severe the fighting gets. These include:

Evolving needs. It's natural for kids' changing needs, anxieties, and identities to affect how they relate to one another. For example, toddlers are naturally protective of their toys and belongings, and are learning to assert their will, which they'll do at every turn. So if a baby brother or sister picks up the toddler's toy, the older child may react aggressively. School-age kids often have a strong concept of fairness and equality, so might not understand why siblings of other ages are treated differently or feel like one child gets preferential treatment. Teenagers, on the other hand, are developing a sense of individuality and independence, and might resent helping with household responsibilities, taking care of younger siblings, or even having to spend time together. All of these differences can influence the way kids fight with one another.
Individual temperaments. Your kids' individual temperaments — including mood, disposition, and adaptability — and their unique personalities play a large role in how well they get along. For example, if one child is laid back and another is easily rattled, they may often get into it. Similarly, a child who is especially clingy and drawn to parents for comfort and love might be resented by siblings who see this and want the same amount of attention.

There is no reason he needs to feel 'bumped' in the family he can still have plenty of fun with family activities or even - where mom allows - to help with the baby. There are plenty of great free things for moms from HTtP://alturl.com/328y4 and they never ask for members.

Sure - that might work - phrased just like that indeed - bravo!

Yeah,that's it,go play on the FREEWAY..........

You can't compare different generations because life (in general) was very different. It's unfair to call kids "spoiled" because they feel an attachment to their parents. Today's kids have different needs. Is there really something wrong with being prepared and considering what is best for your child's emotional wellbeing?

Also, I highly doubt YOUR kids ended up perfectly well-adjusted. If the parenting styles of years past were the "right" way to do things, entire generations would completely functional and lack any problems whatsoever. Is that the case?

Ah, one of my favorite sayings 'this too shall pass'. It does, maybe a little too quickly, though. I have the perfect picture of the exact moment of sibling rivalry. My almost 2 yo is sitting on the couch next to the new born with a most distasteful look on his face. They are now 21 and 19 and pretty good friends!

if only people you deemed were suited to have children we would have gone extinct eons ago.