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Mother of 'Genderless' Baby Storm Speaks Out
Filed under: In The News
Kathy Witterick, the Canadian mother of the 4-month-old baby, and her husband, David Stocker, 39, sent an email to friends and family following Storm's New Year's Day birth, letting it be known just a select few -- including the parents, midwives, a close friend and the couple's two sons, Kio, 2, and Jazz, 5, would know Storm's sex.
"We decided not to share Storm's sex for now -- a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a standup to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime," they wrote.
The family has declined any interviews since the story grabbed headlines following a report in the Toronto Star May 21, but Witterick defends the decision in a letter to the Edmonton Journal, published May 30.
"I'm shy and idealistic, and all my life I've worked in the field of abuse and violence prevention," Witterick writes. "... Jazz is 5 years old. Since he was a young baby, he's enjoyed color, texture and vibrancy. ... As Jazz grew, his love of bright colors (especially pink) and lots of fabric (especially dresses) continued, and he wanted to grow his hair. The older he became, the more he met with pressure from peers and adults to adjust his image and 'act more like a boy.' Jazz remained committed to his own style."
Witterick writes that Jazz, while listening to "Free to be You and Me" soon before Storm's birth, began asking questions about how people would treat Storm should he, too, like to wear pink one day.
"There are these moments as a parent when you wish your child could bring a different issue to the table -- but there it is, plop! And if you really mean what you say about being kind, honoring difference, having an open mind and placing limits thoughtfully where they help children develop competencies and be safe, then you better walk the talk," she writes.
"We agreed to keep the sex of our new baby private."
Witterick writes that the family believed people would understand their decision, and that the global frenzy that instead ensued was a big surprise.
"The strong, lighting-fast, vitriolic response was a shock," she writes. "These voices demonstrate how much parents are in the world's critical eye -- in particular mothers, who are judged based on little (mis)information and not offered opportunities to share, grow, learn and be supported and celebrated by the community to raise children."
Witterick writes that the family has declined all interviews, but they want the world to know they did not ask their children to keep Storm's sex a secret.
"Secrets are not safe and healthy," she writes. "... If I had to convince my children not to share Storm's sex (which I don't because my children simply are not interested at this point) -- I would teach them that someone else's genitals and sense of how they relate to their gender is their private business, to be shared by them or in a context where safety, acceptance and sensitivity are paramount."
For now, Witterick writes, the decision of gender will be up to Storm.
"Storm is my third child and this is what I know -- some day soon, Storm will have something to say about it, so in the meantime, I'm just listening carefully."
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 64)
5-31-2011 @ 11:25AM
JC hELMUTH said...This canadian couple is "strange" all the way around. Look at the poor
kid's names. RIO, JAZZ and now STORM? And besides that, who cares what Gender the baby is? This is a sure way of not expecting a baby gift from friends & family. I think they are making a big deal out of this situation so as to draw attention to themselves and make the news. Well, they have done that, so leave the "weirdos"alone and let them do as they want with their baby. Put news in the paper that is interesting.
5-31-2011 @ 11:31AM
JC hELMUTH said...This canadian couple is "strange" all the way around. Look at the poor
kid's names. RIO, JAZZ and now STORM? And besides that, who cares what Gender the baby is? This is a sure way of not expecting a baby gift from friends & family. I think they are making a big deal out of this situation so as to draw attention to themselves and make the news. Well, they have done that, so leave the "weirdos"alone and let them do as they want with their baby. Put news in the paper that is interesting.
5-31-2011 @ 10:20AM
Bill said...This woman is a miracle. Based on her writing, it is apparent that she is educated, and yet she is more clueless than a 5 year old about how things really work. Only in California...
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:34AM
Bonnie said...Bill...really? It's because they live in California?
5-31-2011 @ 10:36AM
Ken said...Bill, only in California? Since when is California part of Canada?
5-31-2011 @ 10:38AM
bugaloosnana said...Uh, the story said they are Canadian, not from California. They are raising their kids to be gay. Which bears out what I've said all along. It's nurture, not nature that makes people gay. I rest my case.
5-31-2011 @ 10:47AM
Leslie said...She's from CANADA, not California. If you're going to bash a location, make sure you've got it right.
5-31-2011 @ 10:48AM
Karen said...California, Canada...they both start with C and end with A...HUGE similarity. Read, comprehend and THEN reply...It makes the experience better for all of us.
5-31-2011 @ 10:48AM
me said...Did you mean "Canada" because that's where they live. Though I agree that she is completely clueless. If you read the article in the Toronto Star, you see the two boys dress like girls and are teased by other kids for it. They "unschool" their children, letting the kids decide what they will learn. It's no wonder those boys are so confused. Now they are conducting a grand social experiment with their third child. Perhaps they should take a lesson from their oldest, who writes "Let your kid be whoever they are!" in his journal. Let children be children, and not spokespersons for gender ambiguity.
5-31-2011 @ 10:53AM
really? said...@bugaloosnana Are you kidding me? Are you serious? You can't be serious. There is no way in this lifetime that you can sit there on your pretty computer and type that, and be completely serious.
How is she making her children 'gay'? Because they don't adhere to the strict gender roles society has placed out for us? Is this the '50s? I have short hair and I don't wear makeup and I do enjoy a video game now and then, good Lord I must be a Lesbian! I mean, forget the fact that I am attracted to men; no, because I don't stick to the gender roles set out before me, I must like women.
I support gender-neutral parenting 100%. If my son wants a doll, by gum, I'll give him a doll! If my daughter wants to play baseball, I'll be there cheering for her. And there is nothing wrong with the parents not wanting to reveal the gender. S/he is a baby, and it doesn't matter right now.
5-31-2011 @ 11:44AM
Judy Gold said...I thought they lived in Canada. I mean being from California, it could be here, but not yet.
5-31-2011 @ 11:54AM
x12code said...Lol, I think the correct statment would be "Only in Canada" can you get away with keeping your childs gender a "Secret" Come on people, is this really worth discussing? Who cares how why or if these people are screwing their kids up mentally or emotionally? Im sure Canada has some sort of CPS to take care of this IF these kids are in fact being abused in the eyes of the law ' legally or morally. Common sense will kick in and the kids will know if theyre a boy or girl at some point. and @really?... Really?! "strict gender roles society has placed out for us"??? I think chromosomes dictates our gender and our actions/roles sort of come naturally. AND when they DONT come naturally, society doesnt MAKE anyone stick to the "role". Here in the good old USA we are free to be who we want to be take a look around, it's obvious!!!
5-31-2011 @ 12:13PM
lnb said...I'm a native CALIFORNIAN. I am as normal as 90% of the people in this great USA (if any of us can be considered normal). Don't insult us until you've been one of us. Our (now grown) child is a female and we have referred to her as a female from the moment she was born.
These people's child is an "it".
5-31-2011 @ 12:27PM
Shawn said...Being well educated doesn't make people any smarter, only more informed. If they can't reason for crap, it doesn't do them any good. Any idiot can take and pass test and get a degree. It doesn't make them less of an idiot.
5-31-2011 @ 12:29PM
Escalonz said...Bill, only in California? Since when is California part of Canada?
Considering the states dire financial problems we can only wish it was in Canada....................
5-31-2011 @ 5:40PM
G.C. said...Are you serious? Storms parents obviously love their child, and they are taking very good care of him/her isn't that what really matters. If any one is clueless it would have to be you and anyone else that is making a stink about them keeping their babies gender a secret.
5-31-2011 @ 12:36PM
MaryM said...No, only in Canada...in California he'd be nude till he got to school.
5-31-2011 @ 12:33PM
Mitchell said...bugaloosnana, you are remarkably untouched by the scientific facts of the late 20th and early 21st centuries if you actually believe that it is nurture and not nature. I am gay, and have had a marvellous life with one man for 30 years until his death, and my siblings, raised exactly the same way, are straight. Please try to educate yourself a bit; this ignorance is inexcusable.
5-31-2011 @ 1:04PM
Mike said...I can see how Bill made this mistake. Johnny Carson had it right years ago when he called California "the Granola State -- fruits, flakes and nuts!" This is just the sort of story you'd expect to come out of the "left coast."
5-31-2011 @ 5:35PM
sand said...B ill - You just don't get it. Their child has both genetalia. When this child reaches puberty the child can decide which sex it wants to be. 1 in 2,000 births around the world are born with both sexual genetalia . We just don't hear about it much because people are so hung up with putting labels on a body. Thanks Sand