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Mother of 'Genderless' Baby Storm Speaks Out
Filed under: In The News
Kathy Witterick, the Canadian mother of the 4-month-old baby, and her husband, David Stocker, 39, sent an email to friends and family following Storm's New Year's Day birth, letting it be known just a select few -- including the parents, midwives, a close friend and the couple's two sons, Kio, 2, and Jazz, 5, would know Storm's sex.
"We decided not to share Storm's sex for now -- a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a standup to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime," they wrote.
The family has declined any interviews since the story grabbed headlines following a report in the Toronto Star May 21, but Witterick defends the decision in a letter to the Edmonton Journal, published May 30.
"I'm shy and idealistic, and all my life I've worked in the field of abuse and violence prevention," Witterick writes. "... Jazz is 5 years old. Since he was a young baby, he's enjoyed color, texture and vibrancy. ... As Jazz grew, his love of bright colors (especially pink) and lots of fabric (especially dresses) continued, and he wanted to grow his hair. The older he became, the more he met with pressure from peers and adults to adjust his image and 'act more like a boy.' Jazz remained committed to his own style."
Witterick writes that Jazz, while listening to "Free to be You and Me" soon before Storm's birth, began asking questions about how people would treat Storm should he, too, like to wear pink one day.
"There are these moments as a parent when you wish your child could bring a different issue to the table -- but there it is, plop! And if you really mean what you say about being kind, honoring difference, having an open mind and placing limits thoughtfully where they help children develop competencies and be safe, then you better walk the talk," she writes.
"We agreed to keep the sex of our new baby private."
Witterick writes that the family believed people would understand their decision, and that the global frenzy that instead ensued was a big surprise.
"The strong, lighting-fast, vitriolic response was a shock," she writes. "These voices demonstrate how much parents are in the world's critical eye -- in particular mothers, who are judged based on little (mis)information and not offered opportunities to share, grow, learn and be supported and celebrated by the community to raise children."
Witterick writes that the family has declined all interviews, but they want the world to know they did not ask their children to keep Storm's sex a secret.
"Secrets are not safe and healthy," she writes. "... If I had to convince my children not to share Storm's sex (which I don't because my children simply are not interested at this point) -- I would teach them that someone else's genitals and sense of how they relate to their gender is their private business, to be shared by them or in a context where safety, acceptance and sensitivity are paramount."
For now, Witterick writes, the decision of gender will be up to Storm.
"Storm is my third child and this is what I know -- some day soon, Storm will have something to say about it, so in the meantime, I'm just listening carefully."
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ReaderComments (Page 3 of 64)
6-01-2011 @ 9:51AM
christina said...thats what im saying she slipped up so no point in hiding it anymore
5-31-2011 @ 11:33AM
Lisa said...You're right and it's no secret anymore since she just said it in the letter to the paper. That was smart!
5-31-2011 @ 12:05PM
sue said...I don't know that I would go by what a kindergartener said. When a sex is unknown, wouldn't most kids say "he"?
5-31-2011 @ 12:40PM
x12code said...Like i said " I think the parents don't know the meaning of the word "Secret" and are confusing it with "publicity" or "propaganda"
5-31-2011 @ 12:54PM
stefanie said...well just cuz it says HE doesn't mean that Storm is a boy.
5-31-2011 @ 2:11PM
karen4centrex said...No, I believe Jazz was referring to himself liking "pink" in that comment.
5-31-2011 @ 2:53PM
forum4women.com said..."As Jazz grew, his love of bright colors (especially pink) and lots of fabric (especially dresses) continued" Also shows that they were dressing the boy in pink and dresses before he was able to choose what he wanted to wear. Obviously, if you show any boy a plain pair of pants versus a colorful and pretty printed dress, he's gonna want to wear what is more colorful and playful. At least mine would. Maybe the parents don't want anyone to know the sex of the new baby, so they can dress him in pink dresses and no one will get annoyed with them.....
5-31-2011 @ 2:53PM
chinalilly2000 said...No. Jazz likes to wear pink. And he's concerned about what others will think if his brother Storm also liked to wear pink.
6-03-2011 @ 1:14PM
Shannon said...I feel sorry for the little boys because they will not be able to function well in society. They will not know how to get along with other people. Yes it is the parents right to raise their children their way, but perhaps they are being a bit selfish in this matter???? It has nothing to do with being gay or being Canadian. There are "different" people all over the world.
5-31-2011 @ 10:25AM
Joe Adams said...The baby looks like a boy. Just the information from the story, it seems they get boys but want girls.
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 11:01AM
nicole said...I'm in agreement with you, it's complete denial on the parent's part. Yes, we should give kids the choice of what they feel they should be, but pushing certain behaviors on them is ridiculous. These kids will be so confused as to who they are that it will be damaging them in the future, especially when our society is stuck in a certain mindframe.
5-31-2011 @ 11:06AM
brenda leavy said...He is absolutely a boy! At least he will have something concrete to blame all his problems on in later life.
5-31-2011 @ 11:10AM
mom2adam1 said...freaks
5-31-2011 @ 11:31AM
MommyBunny said...I've thought from the get-go he looks like a boy, too, but maybe he's a hermaphrodite? That's all I can think of that would justify the "letting the kid choose it's gender". Because you're BORN a gender-- unless you're born with both.
5-31-2011 @ 1:08PM
Sang said...You're born with a *sex*. *Gender* is the social identity you fit into.
5-31-2011 @ 1:41PM
Heather said...I agree that the child is a probably boy, but I don't believe that they are specifically trying to turn their children into girls. If that was the case, they would have names that are specifically feminine (like Jennifer, Michelle, etc), and they would just tell people that their children are girls. What they are doing instead is allowing their boys to play with whatever toys they want and wear whatever clothes they want, instead of just shoving toy guns and trucks into their face and hitting them upside the head if they cry.
5-31-2011 @ 10:25AM
doberste5 said...Mentality. It's all in the mentality of the person. Some thrive on "good for nothing" causes.
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:29AM
Gene Raiti said...We live in a world that has enough problems as it is. Why in God's name would you want to burden a child with another thing people can harass them with?
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:50AM
vinnie said...And that is the thing. It is not the childs problem or the families problem . It is the ignorant people who will harass them. those who were brought up to be rude and intrusive by those who are rude and intrusive. If people would stop minding everyone elses business and stop worrying about eceryone elses lifestyle. and focus on their own messed up juvenile attitudes this would not be a newsstory. Just another couple trying to raise theie baby to not bend to gender rules.
5-31-2011 @ 10:27AM
Deana said...I really do not care what the sex of this child is. I also cannot believe it is getting so much attention. The siblings are going to call this child by its gender because how can you expect young children to understand what you are doing. Teach your children to just be themselves. Life is hard for all children even if they are not different. Stress today affects all children and to not let anyone tell the gender is just making your child stand out. I feel that this is what it is all about attention.
Reply