Mother of 'Genderless' Baby Storm Speaks Out

by Lesley Kennedy (Subscribe to Lesley Kennedy's posts)
May 31st 2011 8:00AM

Filed under: In The News

Following a flurry of criticism stemming from the announcement she and her family would raise their child as gender-neutral, the mother of Storm Stocker is speaking out.

Kathy Witterick, the Canadian mother of the 4-month-old baby, and her husband, David Stocker, 39, sent an email to friends and family following Storm's New Year's Day birth, letting it be known just a select few -- including the parents, midwives, a close friend and the couple's two sons, Kio, 2, and Jazz, 5, would know Storm's sex.

"We decided not to share Storm's sex for now -- a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a standup to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime," they wrote.

The family has declined any interviews since the story grabbed headlines following a report in the Toronto Star May 21, but Witterick defends the decision in a letter to the Edmonton Journal, published May 30.

"I'm shy and idealistic, and all my life I've worked in the field of abuse and violence prevention," Witterick writes. "... Jazz is 5 years old. Since he was a young baby, he's enjoyed color, texture and vibrancy. ... As Jazz grew, his love of bright colors (especially pink) and lots of fabric (especially dresses) continued, and he wanted to grow his hair. The older he became, the more he met with pressure from peers and adults to adjust his image and 'act more like a boy.' Jazz remained committed to his own style."

Witterick writes that Jazz, while listening to "Free to be You and Me" soon before Storm's birth, began asking questions about how people would treat Storm should he, too, like to wear pink one day.

"There are these moments as a parent when you wish your child could bring a different issue to the table -- but there it is, plop! And if you really mean what you say about being kind, honoring difference, having an open mind and placing limits thoughtfully where they help children develop competencies and be safe, then you better walk the talk," she writes.

"We agreed to keep the sex of our new baby private."

Witterick writes that the family believed people would understand their decision, and that the global frenzy that instead ensued was a big surprise.

"The strong, lighting-fast, vitriolic response was a shock," she writes. "These voices demonstrate how much parents are in the world's critical eye -- in particular mothers, who are judged based on little (mis)information and not offered opportunities to share, grow, learn and be supported and celebrated by the community to raise children."

Witterick writes that the family has declined all interviews, but they want the world to know they did not ask their children to keep Storm's sex a secret.

"Secrets are not safe and healthy," she writes. "... If I had to convince my children not to share Storm's sex (which I don't because my children simply are not interested at this point) -- I would teach them that someone else's genitals and sense of how they relate to their gender is their private business, to be shared by them or in a context where safety, acceptance and sensitivity are paramount."

For now, Witterick writes, the decision of gender will be up to Storm.

"Storm is my third child and this is what I know -- some day soon, Storm will have something to say about it, so in the meantime, I'm just listening carefully."

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ReaderComments (Page 4 of 64)

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5-31-2011 @ 10:28AM

paula said...

So rather than teach her 5 year old that anyone, regardless of whether they are a boy or a girl can like anything they want to, whether it be the color pink, playing with dolls (or trucks), loving someone of your own gender and so on, and so on. . . . She thought it was a much better lesson to teach her children to lie and hide their identities. Nice lesson.

Gene Raiti said...

What?!?!?! Hello there are health (physical and mental) issues that are gender issues: besides, I'm guessing the other parents don't want a "boy in the girls potty"(or vice versa) incident involving their child!

5-31-2011 @ 10:30AM

Nana said...

This woman is totally clue less, personally I think her train of though has lost it's caboose. If this is so exciting to her I pitty this child and the others... What is the big frigging deal that it is such a secret who cares anyway... I pitty to think how these children are being raised.

5-31-2011 @ 10:41AM

powerrun69 said...

I Think People spend to much time trying to tell other people what they are doing wrong. she is trying to raise her children not to see difference color sex or gender. thats the way things should be but the generally stupid public will take it upon themselves to change the ways of others for the comfort of their own simple minds. tisk tisk tisk how would you like someone to tell you how to raise your children/????????

5-31-2011 @ 10:49AM

Kate said...

powerrun69, that's exactly what she's doing! She's trying to tell everyone else that they are doing it wrong, and that those of us trying to help others embrace their gender are doing it wrong. One of my very good friends is a transgender, and no amount of comfort with his gender would change the fact that he was born a woman. It's about comfort with who you are, not choosing your own gender.

5-31-2011 @ 10:32AM

Bonnie said...

It's a boy!

exbtc2 said...

Who Cares? ....

6-01-2011 @ 1:30PM

grace Barrett said...

Why I left Canada. Some of these people seem to be adrift in never, never land. A reason so many Canadians are immigrating to U.S. We have our faults but one of them isn't becomeing genderless. Nature had a reason for creating two sexes. It's called survival. The act of love, and it most surly is an act of love should be performed by those sure of what role they will be playing in the nurtering of a child and it's place in society. Genderless fathers won't make it. Of coarse women have been trying to emasculate men ffor ages. I'm a woman and i think it's dangerous.

5-31-2011 @ 1:44PM

wtilton67 said...

She said "...should HE too like to wear pink one day."

5-31-2011 @ 10:37AM

sixty6kix said...

Hey Anne ~ told you he was a boy

5-31-2011 @ 10:38AM

riled1 said...

Bottom line is this kid is not Genderless, he is a boy, which they have "OOOPS" mentioned a few times...if he wants to wear pink and do other things when HE decides..then thats fine....they are saying they don't want things forced on him yet they are forcing their way...do they are definitely hypocrites...nature will decide what he does...not them...just a couple of freaks trying to make a name for themselves..

5-31-2011 @ 9:42PM

alsnana said...

She was bragging about not buying gender specific toys, but dresses her boy in pink frilly dresses? Isn't that gender specific? My boys dress themselves but I would never buy them pink frilly dresses.

sunny said...

Hey...let's find something else we can do to complicate this kid's life, The world isn't screwed up enough.
He she or it will be in therapy for 30 years...
I stand by my inital reaction.
They are self-centered yuppies who wanted to get on the Internet.
If not, they never would have made this inane decision public.
Are they channeling Balloon Boy????

5-31-2011 @ 10:42AM

no its everyoe else that will put the kid in therapy. gay kids didnt kill themselves because of what the parents were doin but what their peers were doing to them

5-31-2011 @ 10:39AM

leov. said...

What is the big freakin deal? If the parents don't wanna mention the baby's sex, they don't have to! Everyone has to make a big deal out of someone elses business. Jeesh, get a grip and job cuz you people have way too much time on your hands.

5-31-2011 @ 9:40PM

That's funny. Everyone here has too much time on their hands except you. Everyone here, get a job but don't tell anyone what to do. What a hypocritical idiot.

brandy said...

READ THE QUOTE"Witterick writes that Jazz, while listening to "Free to be You and Me" soon before Storm's birth, began asking questions about how people would treat Storm should he, too, like to wear pink one day.....HE.....ITS A BOY.....

5-31-2011 @ 12:41PM

Grace said...

In The Toronto Star article whick originally printed the story, it said HIS brother Jazz, so in the article it gave away the gender. Personally I think that the children are going to be totally screwed up, until at least they get to public school (I hope to God they don't homeschool) then they will interact with other kids and find out quickly that boys usually don't wear pink, they don't wear dresses and they don't have girl's hairstyles. Maybe these parents wanted daughters and ended up with sons. Come on now, how can little children know totally on their own what they want. There is always parental influence. How did Jazz know he wanted to wear a pink dress? Hmmmm and did mommy buy him one? Unless these little children can also make their own minds up about using their parent's credit cards? Or did mom give Jazz cash and said buy your own dress? Now I would like to ask the parents what's going to happen whe Jazz gets into High School and wants to wear that pink frilly dress with those high heels?

5-31-2011 @ 9:48PM

What happens when he gets to high school ans only wants to wear his pink friily crotchless panties?

Laurie said...

I agree with giving a child choices...do you want peas or string beans, do you want juice or water, do you want to be raised Christian or Jewish,,but giving a child a choice in gender is beyond anythig that I can comprehend.

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