Hot on HuffPost Parents:
Bonnie Fuller: Zach Sobiech: You Were a Huge Inspiration in Your…
When A Tornado Strikes, Should Schools Evacuate?
Mother of 'Genderless' Baby Storm Speaks Out
Filed under: In The News
Kathy Witterick, the Canadian mother of the 4-month-old baby, and her husband, David Stocker, 39, sent an email to friends and family following Storm's New Year's Day birth, letting it be known just a select few -- including the parents, midwives, a close friend and the couple's two sons, Kio, 2, and Jazz, 5, would know Storm's sex.
"We decided not to share Storm's sex for now -- a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a standup to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime," they wrote.
The family has declined any interviews since the story grabbed headlines following a report in the Toronto Star May 21, but Witterick defends the decision in a letter to the Edmonton Journal, published May 30.
"I'm shy and idealistic, and all my life I've worked in the field of abuse and violence prevention," Witterick writes. "... Jazz is 5 years old. Since he was a young baby, he's enjoyed color, texture and vibrancy. ... As Jazz grew, his love of bright colors (especially pink) and lots of fabric (especially dresses) continued, and he wanted to grow his hair. The older he became, the more he met with pressure from peers and adults to adjust his image and 'act more like a boy.' Jazz remained committed to his own style."
Witterick writes that Jazz, while listening to "Free to be You and Me" soon before Storm's birth, began asking questions about how people would treat Storm should he, too, like to wear pink one day.
"There are these moments as a parent when you wish your child could bring a different issue to the table -- but there it is, plop! And if you really mean what you say about being kind, honoring difference, having an open mind and placing limits thoughtfully where they help children develop competencies and be safe, then you better walk the talk," she writes.
"We agreed to keep the sex of our new baby private."
Witterick writes that the family believed people would understand their decision, and that the global frenzy that instead ensued was a big surprise.
"The strong, lighting-fast, vitriolic response was a shock," she writes. "These voices demonstrate how much parents are in the world's critical eye -- in particular mothers, who are judged based on little (mis)information and not offered opportunities to share, grow, learn and be supported and celebrated by the community to raise children."
Witterick writes that the family has declined all interviews, but they want the world to know they did not ask their children to keep Storm's sex a secret.
"Secrets are not safe and healthy," she writes. "... If I had to convince my children not to share Storm's sex (which I don't because my children simply are not interested at this point) -- I would teach them that someone else's genitals and sense of how they relate to their gender is their private business, to be shared by them or in a context where safety, acceptance and sensitivity are paramount."
For now, Witterick writes, the decision of gender will be up to Storm.
"Storm is my third child and this is what I know -- some day soon, Storm will have something to say about it, so in the meantime, I'm just listening carefully."
Want to get the latest ParentDish news and advice? Sign up for our newsletter!
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
- My mom's boyfriend molested my sister, my mom doesn't believe her.
- 3 SHOWS A HOUR 7 HOURS = 21 (10 DAYS = 210) 10 STUDIOS = 2100 20 STUDIOS = 4200 (IN 10 DAYS) 3 (20 MINUTE SHOWS).
- patent or not civil case the inventor will never lose because the people approved and he makes the rules. it did not exist
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Infant Massage - Arms
Linda Storm, talks about the many benefits of infant massage for you and your baby and shows you how to massage your baby's arms.
-
Infant Massage - Tummy
In this video, Linda Storm, talks about the many benefits of infant massage for you and your baby. She explains what credentials are needed to teach infant massage as well as demonstrates techniques for a few of the basic strokes.
-
Infant Massage - Leg
In this video, Linda Storm, explains how to massage your baby's legs when you're doing infant massage.
-
Getting Started with Infant Massage
In this video, Linda Storm, talks about the many benefits of infant massage for you and your baby.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 5 of 64)
5-31-2011 @ 10:41AM
Lynn said...:::Witterick writes that Jazz, while listening to "Free to be You and Me" soon before Storm's birth, began asking questions about how people would treat Storm should he, too, like to wear pink one day.:::
OUTED! LOL
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:42AM
dave said...I think as a sociaty we spend too much time as to determine gender roles and gender assignments. Personally I think that it is an outrage that ppl have so little to talk about that they are worried about the gender of a child that isn't even in their lives. There are bigger fish to fry like ending world hunger and ending the AIDS pandemic.
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 9:53PM
cookie said...Then why aren't you reading those articles instead of this one?
5-31-2011 @ 10:42AM
bugaloosnana said...These people are liberal nut cases. Look at their kids' names. Jazz, Kio and Storm, sound like the names of cars! Poor kids.
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:45AM
Tammy1126 said...I understand, to a point, where the parents are coming from. We all choose our paths on how we will deal with adversity and I don't see where their path is harmful in any way.
My son is part Native American Indian and as such desired to show his heritage through clothing and longer hair. You would not believe the people that "teased" him about the hair! His dentist, 2 of his teachers, a grocery checker, a few uncles and 1 aunt, and the random strangers we encountered on our outings.
My son, now 14 years old, has learned independence of choice. He has no problem defending himself against the tyranny of opinions thrown at him almost daily and he does this with class, not through yelling or degrading. He has a great self esteem (some would call plain stuck up) and does not let other people's opinions define him or the way he chooses to express himself.
We all make choices in how we will teach our children to deal with the world they live in. I chose to teach self pride, tolerance, and independence. Their choice to not reveal the gender is no harm to the child and by the time he is 1-2 years old, in most cases, it's pretty obvious what gender the child is through physical traits regardless of the clothing worn.
For the record, based on the photos shown, I'm betting Storm is a boy :)
Reply
6-01-2011 @ 12:16PM
Emgarcia86 said...Parents should be able to be parents. It shouldn't matter to anyone else how they raise their children.
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:43AM
monkeeicecream said...why didn't she just name the baby IT!
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:43AM
Kali said...I guess no one has actually read this. She isn't keeping it a secret, she just isn't broadcasting the information. She even said she doesn't expect her kids to keep it from other people because she thinks that would be unhealthy. She isn't keeping any information from her children, just from the people that don't need to know anyway. I see nothing wrong with this. How is her kid going to be messed up because a stranger doesn't know if it is a boy or girl?
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 11:23AM
gini said..."I guess no one has actually read this. She isn't keeping it a secret, she just isn't broadcasting the information."
.Uh..yeah, she's broadcasting it; otherwise we wouldn't be reading about it. (I expect to see a "Tiger Mom" type of book before long).
"She even said she doesn't expect her kids to keep it from other people because she thinks that would be unhealthy. She isn't keeping any information from her children, just from the people that don't need to know anyway."
People who don't need to know probably wouldn't have cared not to be told. But since it's now public record, it INVITES comments/criticism. Who doesn't need to know? People who might take care of the child and see a GU or yeast infection? Other people's kids who might play with these kids and are curious about their own sexual identity? Again, why don't the parents just groom and dress in a unisex way and call themselves Mo-dad 1 and Mo-dad 2? No need to judge and hey, the kids will figure it out...just like cult kids who have escaped. PS: People give far too much credit to young children's ability to "handle," "bounce back" and "figure out" things. Fast forward a few years to family and/or lifelong individual therapy!
I see nothing wrong with this. How is her kid going to be messed up because a stranger doesn't know if it is a boy or girl?
>>She didn't say strangers. The original article mentioned that people knew enough to not send specific gender items. Is the kid gonna wear onesies till it's '2-sies'?
5-31-2011 @ 10:44AM
powerrun69 said...Jazz is a boy that likes pink you bunch of goofs
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:46AM
lawrenxce Wrenn said...Storm already has a gender, what do they mean, Storm will decide?
Are the parents going to arrange for an operation if he is 3,4 or 5 and says they want to be the opposite sex. He/she is a boy or girl, right now. There is no decision to be made. This will totally confuse the child later on. Are they going to ask Storm what he/she wants to be?He already has a gender, whether they acknowledge it or not. I don't get it.
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:45AM
Will said...Who the hell cares? Why should anyone care? This is the most insignicant news item on the planet today!!! Some people just look for things to bother themselves with. Again who cares?
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:45AM
bob said...Storm is a boy, mama is just disappointed with two boys already and wanted a girl, so she's giving him every chance to be one.....
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:45AM
Koujohi said...Oh boy- another nut bag who wants to exercise her rights as a parent to keep their kid's pamper on. Believe it or not lady, we as the public audience are not concerned about the sex of your baby (sounds like you might be struggling with gender issues yourself). But your child will figure it out once it can differentiate between a penis and vagina. Quick buck needed for a minor headline story. What was the point of this article again?
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:46AM
Koz said...Sick parents. It is cute now but wait till Jazz and Storm get older not knowing what they are. They won't even know which bathroom to use.I guess the parents will think it is ok and what about gym classes.
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 12:12PM
sweetgalisme0122 said...They are just trying to make a name for themselves and we are all allowing them to do it. Whatever they choose to do is their business and none of ours. Is it weird? I think it is, but who are we to judge?
Reply
6-01-2011 @ 9:13AM
rosa said...@ gene: Most kids go with their parent to the potty until they are a least over 4 and sometimes much longer, so what's the big deal? As for health issues, that can be taken up with their medical provider.
Quite frankly, I think the uproar is rediculous. She is raising her family to be happy healthy kids. She is not affecting your life and she is not abusing her kids. Chill!
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:52AM
danielle said...i think that is complete bullshit. ok yes i believe in giving your child the choice blah blah blah but seriously god made you who you are for a reason and i dont think its right to sit there and make a big deal about not sharing genders and all that stuff. i know that theres big controversies on gays and people judging and stuff but now they are in for deeper shit because they have the whole worlds eyes on their children and now they are going to feel the pressure of the world and their opinions whether you teach them to be aware of them or not. the comments ridicule judgements and hurtful statements are still there and will be there for the rest of their lives. i just think its wrong. let your child be who they want to be when they have the abilitly to make that decision for themselves.
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 10:47AM
PacoGerte said...My five-year-old writes poetry under the pseudonym "Cocktail Psychologist." Her latest:
Stupid Hippies
Hate religion, Ignore Science
Your baby's gender has been chosen
By Nature
Go take a bath
You smell
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 12:09PM
nosoyeswell said...You call that poetry!
Everyone is a poet in todays world.
Why were we human put here??
Myself included??
There is no greater plan!!!
Shame that you allow/encourage a 5 year old to write.
Sad enough that the 5 year old has such feelings.
Whatever happened ot childhood innocence?
Whatever happened to loving mothers being protective of their children?
Not doting is one thing.
Being overprotective is one thing.
This super freedom of expression, not really understanding what is written at age 5 is asinine on the part of any adult and should be construed as endangering the morals of a minor.