How Can I Get My Child to Sleep in His Own Bed?

I agree--the author is dragging out what should be simple process. Setting limits and being loving but firm is the answer to nearly every parenting issue. If you made it work in 4 nights, you did well--and you can get on to the next thing.
And yes, in spite of the many people who seem to want to share their bed with their kids and everybody goes to bed at the same time, this is a big mistake for a marriage. You were a couple before you were parents and you will be when they are out of the nest. Time for a man and woman, free from the kids, is critical to being good parents.

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I can see both sides. If you want your children to sleep with you, fine. If you need time to yourself and or your spouce, fine also. I grew up in a very strict home, I can remember I swore I heard someone climbing up the house trying to get into my window. But I was so terrifyed of my parents, I layed in bed terrifyed all night. Now with my own children I find it hard to be strict, but I also respect my parents, because I now know the hardest thing about parenting is saying no.and sticking to it. On the other hand my children would never be too terrifyed of me to come to me. I just don't think we should be judging each other over sleeping arraingments. I mean we are not talking about letting our kids shoot up in the living room!!!

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We had a "family bed" Older son moved out on his own @ 3yrs old. Younger son would fall asleep in his room but came into parental bed during the night until ~11yrs old at which time he abruptly stopped on his own. Both are grads of Ivy League schools, no ETOH/drug problems, in healthy relationships, not gay (not that there's anything wrong w/that!), close with family and very thoughtful and compassionate human beings. Is it because of that? Who knows. Who cares? I loved all of those nights snuggling with my babies. The time went by way to fast. Honestly, it was never a problem for me, but in hindsight if I had spent all those precious moments fighting and ringing my hands about it I would be sorry now.

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SO tired of all the judging...I am mother of three small children; never could stand cry it out method so we did what worked for us and our three children- two came to our bed (3 year old still does but 7 year old never) somewhere in the middle of the night and one never wanted to (1 year old)...we live by the premise to each their own though not a big fan of "mr paddle" (but I have been known to swat lol) This worked for our family, husband included [be more inventive and open minded to the person who questioned the marriage and private time(the audacity)]...anyway, we could all use advice; the book "Go the *uck to Sleep" is popular at the moment hehe...it's an obvious hard problem then and now and we all work through it whatever way we can and hopeully take tidbits from here and there til we get what we want- TO EACH THEIR OWN...good luck all!

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It's hard for me to believe that the majority of therapists and doctors in the U.S. have no clue about the effects of geopathic stress, and how children are the most vulnerable to its detrimental energies. A child who will not sleep, or stay in his/her room, is usually knowing something the parents know nothing about! They are suffering from geopathic stress. This is usually what causes insomnia in children, or nightmares, or bedwetting, or fear of the big bad wolf, and the list is long. I don't know why these so-called professionals don't work with what most doctors know about in Europe. It's really pathetic. As a geopathic stress consultant in Florida, I have repeatedly seen children miraculously get over all of their symptoms simply by moving their bed away from where there is radiation rising from the earth. If you don't have someone to do this for you, just try moving the bed 2 feet around to different spots until you find a spot where your child feels safe and calm. Good luck!

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I am a mom of two amazing children. My husband & I love our children more then anything in this world. We have a daughter 28 & a son 25. When our children were growing up we did NOT allow our children to sleep in our bed unless they were sick, Nor did we allow our children to manipulate us in any way. There has to be guidelines & rules. Parents now days need to toughen up big time. Look at how the kids are these days. They're so disrespectful. They don't care what they do or what they say. I believe in spankings. I don't care what anyone thinks. There is a difference between a spanking & a beating. We would never beat our children or smack them in the face. But a spanking on their butts to let them know who's boss is fine. I'm so sick of these so called child psychologists saying it's not good for children's self esteem or it teaches them to be mean. Oh my God are you kidding me? We all grew up with spankings & we all turned out just fine. We learned to do what was asked of us & treat others with respect. This time out crap is for the birds & for the weak! Come on! So a child can misbehave & their punishment is to sit in a time out chair or go to their room where all their toys are? Is that really teaching them how to behave? I think & know not! Parents are so afraid of their kids now days because they didn't teach their kids how to behave at a younger age. I'm not talking about spanking a baby. But a two year old should know what no means & know some manners. If you don't make guidelines & rules to teach them early in life, they won't know how to behave later when you ask them to behave. Then when kids get older they learn how threaten their parents with crap like I'm going to call child services, I'm going to run away, you don't love me etc... Our kids never tried any of those on us because they knew we were the parents & we were not going to be bullied by them! They knew we loved them very much, but what we said was the way it went. Be a parent first & teach them right from wrong, then be their friend. They will respect you so much more in the long run. Let me tell you our kids got spankings when they did wrong or did not do what was asked of them & they both are very well rounded adults, very successful, very loving, very respectful towards others, & very respected by people they meet. Plus we are all very, very close & love each other with all our hearts. So people stop listening to these so called child psychologists! They're full of crap! They are nothing more then people like you & me who needed nothing more then a job title & have no clue. Most of their kids are the worst ones out there! :-)

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If the child is NEVER in your bed EVER in the first place, s/he does not even know that is an option.

If the child is NEVER in your BEDROOM EVER in the first place, the kid does notknow that that room is an option to occupy

What has happened to the CONTROL of parents today

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Have any of you considered just saying no? I can understand if they had a bad dream or there's thunder or some other disruption. Every night?
Your child needs to have boundaries, and PLEASE don't make it theirs teacher's job to teach them the meaning of the word.

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Usually, Some babies always cry before going to sleep. Listen to your baby carefully, when he or her is crying, you’ll be able to tell the difference between some whimpering during a sleep and intense sobbing which is to attract your attention. What you should do is to hug your baby in your arms to make him slip off to sleep.

It is helpful to rock your baby back and forth in your arms or rub his back or stomach rhythmically or pat his legs rhythmically to soothe your baby into sleep. However your baby will get used to it and want you to do this each time before falling asleep. So you are supposed to get used to it, too.

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I don't even remotely understand this problem. Like most Baby Boomers, I slept in my own bed. One of my parents read bedtime stories, I had my favorite stuffed animal, and if I needed something they were there. It was fun to snuggle with my parents Sunday morning when they read the "funny papers" to me. What's up with all this nonsense?

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For starters this mom is not to smart to have three children.
Now the mistake ALL parents make is to let the child sleep one night with the parents. From day one that child needs to always sleep in its own room. The parents bed should be off limits for the child at all times. That bed is for mom and dad for sleep and play time. NEVER for children. Now sense the parents have spoil the child they will have there hands full to break him.
They need to explain where his bed is in his room and he WILL be sleeping there EVERY night. If he acts up at night then they need to slap him. YES slap the brat every time till he learns. After afew slaps he will cry him self to sleep and problem solved.
When my daughter was small my wife wanted to let her sleep with us. I took control and said NO way....That bed was for my wife and my self only. I would never let any kid get in the way of my nights sleep or play time in the middle of the night.

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I have an adult niece & nephew that allow their 8 year old child to sleep with them ... As a retired Behavioral Therapist how damaging do I think this pattern is ,,, OMG!!! ...

I bet when she starts developing & has her moon cycle she will still be in her parents bed ... She OWNS Them afterall ...

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It is helpful to rock your baby back and forth in your arms or rub his back or stomach rhythmically or pat his legs rhythmically to soothe your baby into sleep. However your baby will get used to it and want you to do this each time before falling asleep. So you are supposed to get used to it, too.

More information on http://freetxno1.com/2011/06/09/soothe-your-baby-into-sleep/

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WOW! The comments here really shed some light on what's wrong with society! Locking doors, belts, spanking, dressing up as a gorilla to scare children who get out of bed?!
I swear, there should be a test required in order to become a parent! It amazes me that one must pass a test to obtain a driver's license, but ANYONE can become a parent and be responsible for another human life with no thought required!
The school district where I teach requires my Pre-K students sleep for one hour a day. There are some children who cannot even wake up after 1 hour because they do not get proper/adequate sleep at home.
BOTTOM LINE?: Create a safe & proper environment, Respect & understand your child's feelings/fears, READ WITH YOUR CHILD EVERY NIGHT and EVERYONE will sleep better, I promise! Sweet Dreams!

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I used to do exactly the same thing when i was a kid. My parents never asked me what was wrong with me, but i knew why. Simply because i was so scared of sleeping alone. No sooner would i close my mind than i would have nightmares. And my imaginations too were very wild. I would imagine all the boogey men in the horror movies attacking me, and start panicking. The only solution for me was to either cover whole body with the bedspread (with the intention of hiding from my assumed assailants, which hardly ever worked because i would feel so hot inside i cannot sleep anymore) or go and sleep with my parents for the comfort of company. I was always scared of being left alone in a room let alone sleep alone, be it day or night.
So dear worried parent, i would advise that u assure your kid of angels surrounding him so he would sleep without fear, or better still send him to a psychologist.

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Letting your children sleep with you becomes a pattern you cannot escape. I don't care if you are a single parent or married; wanting your children to sleep in your bed with you is not normal. I have to believe at some level you (as the parent) are feeling guilty for something, perhaps working full-time and not spending enough time with them, or acting out some other personal issues. Your children need to learn independence and that's it's OK to be alone -- coddling them is not the answer.

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The only mental issue I see here are the parents who'd rather let their children cry all night because they can't figure out what the child needs ...parenting. Outside of America it is customary and common practice for children to stay with their parents -it has been proven time and time again that it is just a phase and that these children develop stronger social bonds and are more secure (less detached, less neurotic, and more alert/focused ) than their peers.I would suggest to the parents that can't sleep to maybe get off the couch read to your children set them into healthy sleep schedules and maybe get into some physical activity prior to the evening . I work my butt off everyday all day -I look forward to seeing my child after work and vice-versa ...she has no problems starting in her bed and occasionally waking and coming to sleep around 3 am . I wake up enough to lift her up and tuck her in and I'm out like a light again for a 6 am wake up.She did have some issues early on when she was younger and wanted to start in our bed which we obliged ...if you value your sleep jsut let them crash in yer bed instead of fighting like a 3 year old be an adult and get on with your life ...worse case scenario sleep in their bed ...there's a reverse-pyschology trick for you.

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