How Can I Get My Child to Sleep in His Own Bed?

Coddling is an entirely different issue ...this is sleep has nothing to do with independence . Your child in order to make an independant smart choice needs to be secure and informed enough to make that decision ...your act of sending them off to bed without question does nothing but stomp on their independence and tells them that their opinion and voice does not matter...instead of the brush off and get out of my face go to bed try making it enjoyable for them to settle in and teach them that it is safe and necessary for everyone to get rest.It just doesn't make any sense at all to just send your child to their room and not try to resolve the issue ..which eventually gets exacerbated by the child feeling alone and unwanted and actually feeling dependant when an adult/parent won't deal with them.Get your parenting skills on and get involved people or don't have kids.

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Regarding getting your child to sleep in his/her own bed: My oldest was the same way and I also tried everything I could think of then finally I discovered using a black light bulb in his lamp and letting him pick out glow in the dark items to hang in his room and it worked great. You can get stars, animals, and all sorts of things or make glow in the dark items with highlighters. It worked for me so it may just work for someone else!

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.It you study the history of family sleeping customs..you will discover that separating the family bed is something more recent and novel than has been customary..
Over the years, what used to be considered normal..(such as the average age of weaning as 5 years old or the family bed as a place with no age limit).. is now considered perverted...
On the other hand, what used to be considered perverted..(such as vulgarity of every kind on the screen, music and computer for children to be exposed to) has become normal and acceptable..
So finding first graders having oral sex on the floor of the classroom would, I guess, be considered OK.. WHY? Because the media has no limits on what they expose. to the world..and the parents do little to protect the innocence of their childhood....By the way, that really did happen.
What I am saying is that children are visually, mentally, psychologically and emotionally raped with every kind of trash daily..NO ONE PROTECTS them from this assault..On the other hand, we expect them to be able to sleep alone but we adults can feel fearful, scared and alone to be by ourselves..Double standard
Before their births, I read all the various ways to raise a child..The one most nurturing won out..I had limits and boundaries regarding their behavior..but not when it came to demonstrating love, comfort, reassurance and lots of touch..My daughters are beautiful by other people standards inside and out..They tell me they are the most responsible, mature, caring and intelligent girls they know.. with loads of self confidence .this is true ...Well, one is nearly 25 and the other 16..One weaned at 6 and the other 7...We all slept together..We never had fear issues..because they had the comfort of knowing we were right there...At their own discretion they moved back and forth to our bed or another as they grew older..No rules...Just love..I figured why make a child full of fear as I was..They get so many compliments on their character from strangers and friends alike..that I have NO regrets how I have raised them..Everyone says that they are the most loving and caring girls..that they are so unique and often (without knowing how they were raised) would say they wished their kids were like mine..I just studied a lot before I had them and felt whatever builds the security of a child..they will take with them where ever they go for life..
My eldest is self directed, got honors in school, was a lead assistant for most of the specialists at a very large dental group ( at their request) because she was capable of working so well with them and the patients and was very apt at her work.. I taught them how to use knives and had them cooking, both at an early age of 3.. Wished you could have been there before you judge so quickly..Maybe we lost something good long ago and need to refresh ourselves on how to be sweet and nurturing again...

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Here's a great idea, never have your child sleep in your bed and you won't have a problem. It's one thing to put a bassinet next to the bed when the child is an infant, but this "family bed" hippie crap? Instant intimacy killer... Just tell your child that you want to give him or her a baby brother or sister and that it only works if he or she sleeps in their own bed.

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I have never minded that the kids or grandkids wanted to sleep with us. A few things, they have to go to the bathroom, they're cold and where we live that's a possibility and they just want to be able to relax and feel safe. They grow out of it, and I was always a parent first. My husband feels the same way. The kids grow up, do extremely well in school, have their own kids-who visit and come in bed, and then they want their own space. I have never regretted letting the kids make their own decisions. They grew up just great and I think I was a better mom for their closeness.

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Are there any dads out there that want to chime in? Unfortunately, most men are jellyfish (no spine) in a marriage and they will allow this to happen and even lie about it being "ok" to maintain peace in the home. I would calmly and firmly explain to my child that "mommy and daddy work very hard and need their time alone tonight okay?" The truth is, they do. Besides, where are the little brothers and sisters supposed to come from?

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What is wrong with you people = YOU are the parents. Don't you children respect you enough to listen and do what you say???? Find out if the child is afraid of something and deal with what he is frightened of if anything. If its just an I want to sleep with you or I don't want to sleep in my room and in my bed then that is another issue. To address that you have to realize you are the parent not the other way around. Its ok to say I said you are sleeping in your bed and thats the end of it. Parents seem to think they are being mean if they tell the child what is expected of them. Its called parenting . You can be a friend to your child but you are a parent first, or should be.

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why is it so much different here in usa where most country in the world kids donr even have a room of there own and everyone sleeps in the same room

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you kick his sorry spoiled ass..

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The problem with my grandson not wanting to sleep in his own bed didn't start until after he turned three. About that time his father(my son) became an over-the-road trucker & is now away for a full week at a time. Our daughter-in-law struggled with getting him to sleep in his own bed during the week & wasn't totally successful with anything until she & my son tried giving the little guy dad's old pillow to sleep with. It had dad's scent on it & seemed to do the trick. He rarely climbs into bed with mom during the week anymore. He's now four. Now if we can just figure out how to keep him from getting out of their apartment when mom's "tending to business"! He figured out how to unchain the door so we moved the chain higher but he figured out how to reach it anyway!

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There's too much emphasis on children being alone at night in this culture. As adults most of us don't like to sleep alone. Why should children? In England they had the right idea when children all slept together in a "nursey" until they were older. Either have your son sleep with one or more of his siblings, or do what I did. We had a sleeping bag on the floor of our room. Our daughter was allowed to come in when she wanted and sleep on it, but she wasn't allowed to sleep in our bed. Our two older children, boy and girl, shared a room until the oldest was about 12 and told his sister he wanted to sleep alone from then on.

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wow..theres a lot of people here who will paddle a young child for wanting to snuggle with Mommy cause they dont want to be alone in the dark. Sounds really healthy. My mom just said stay in bed . Ill keep the hall light on, and if you get really lonely, read or look at a picture book. It worked.

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When a child continues to come into your room at night.l....
Do this!!
You and your husband pretend to be asleep. Make the child very uncomfortable....crowd him out. Do not let him know you are awake.
He will get up and go back into his bed.

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I never had that problem. The kids started out in a cradle and then a crib and then their own bed. Never had them sleeping with me in my bed. Never never never did. The kids are all grown up and they still don't sleep in my bed with or without me.

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Yea it is sure tough, my god all you have to do is learn to teach kids some respect, make them mind, don't go with all this new day stupid attitude that you cant whip your kids. Yea I had a kid, moved to two story house and told her sleep upstairs, she was scared and tried the old trick but one time telling her how it is and she was fine, no light on either, todays idea that you have to be so sweet and only sweet talk is so stupid and the reason most of todays kids get to visit a jail sometime soon in there life

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Okay, so this was not my experience and my kids turned out great, but in the interest of understanding the whole "family bed" concept, somebody needs to explain it to me. Does everybody go to bed at the same time? Do the kids go to sleep in the bed and then you just scoot them over when you are ready to go to bed? When do you make love? Does everybody but me have a king sized bed (cause I know the times when one of my kids snuggled in after a bad dream, I got no sleep from the crowding.) I really don't see the value in all of this, but I want to understand--so share with me.

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I cured my 5 year old son from coming into our bed by explaining to him that this was mommy and daddy's bed and he had his own bed. When he said he was scared or wanted to sleep with us I told him it was okay, but he had to get his blanket and pillow and he could sleep next to our bed on the FLOOR. After a few nights of doing this I think he got disgusted sleeping on the hard floor and ended up going back into his bed and never came into our bed again. It also worked for my grandson.

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Grandparents can sometimes be at fault because they may
not be setting the boundaries . Young kids can sometimes
come into their beds without thinking. The other problem I do
see is when families have to share the same bedroom in tiny
rundown apartments and/or small houses. These kinds of
conditions can foster alot of drama. In these kinds of settings
it may be hard for parents and or/grandparents ,aunts and/or
uncles to set the boundaries.

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DOOR LOCK!! install it. use it. If you lock your bedroom door it makes it a might hard for your child to come in. If there is an emergency he can call your name. After the emergency put him back in his room and lock your door.

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