My Kids Fight All the Time! How Do I Stop Sibling Rivalry?

While many kids are lucky enough to become the best of friends with
their siblings, it's common for brothers and sisters to fight. (It's
also common for them to swing back and forth between adoring and
detesting one other!)
Often, sibling rivalry starts even before the second child is born,
and continues as the kids grow and compete for everything from toys to
attention. As kids reach different stages of development, their
evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one
another.
It can be frustrating and upsetting to watch — and hear — your
kids fight with one another. A household that's full of conflict is
stressful for everyone. Yet often it's hard to know how to stop the
fighting, and or even whether you should get involved at all. But you
can take steps to promote peace in your household and help your kids
get along.
Why Kids Fight
Many different things can cause siblings to fight. Most brothers and
sisters experience some degree of jealousy or competition, and this
can flare into squabbles and bickering. But other factors also might
influence how often kids fight and how severe the fighting gets. These
include:
Evolving needs. It's natural for kids' changing needs, anxieties, and
identities to affect how they relate to one another. For example,
toddlers are naturally protective of their toys and belongings, and
are learning to assert their will, which they'll do at every turn. So
if a baby brother or sister picks up the toddler's toy, the older
child may react aggressively. School-age kids often have a strong
concept of fairness and equality, so might not understand why siblings
of other ages are treated differently or feel like one child gets
preferential treatment. Teenagers, on the other hand, are developing a
sense of individuality and independence, and might resent helping with
household responsibilities, taking care of younger siblings, or even
having to spend time together. All of these differences can influence
the way kids fight with one another.
Individual temperaments. Your kids' individual temperaments —
including mood, disposition, and adaptability — and their unique
personalities play a large role in how well they get along. For
example, if one child is laid back and another is easily rattled, they
may often get into it. Similarly, a child who is especially clingy and
drawn to parents for comfort and love might be resented by siblings
who see this and want the same amount of attention.

While many kids are lucky enough to become the best of friends with their siblings, it's common for brothers and sisters to fight. (It's also common for them to swing back and forth between adoring and detesting one other!)
Often, sibling rivalry starts even before the second child is born, and continues as the kids grow and compete for everything from toys to attention. As kids reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one another.
It can be frustrating and upsetting to watch — and hear — your kids fight with one another. A household that's full of conflict is stressful for everyone. Yet often it's hard to know how to stop the fighting, and or even whether you should get involved at all. But you can take steps to promote peace in your household and help your kids get along.
Why Kids Fight
Many different things can cause siblings to fight. Most brothers and sisters experience some degree of jealousy or competition, and this can flare into squabbles and bickering. But other factors also might influence how often kids fight and how severe the fighting gets. These include:
Evolving needs. It's natural for kids' changing needs, anxieties, and identities to affect how they relate to one another. For example, toddlers are naturally protective of their toys and belongings, and are learning to assert their will, which they'll do at every turn. So if a baby brother or sister picks up the toddler's toy, the older child may react aggressively. School-age kids often have a strong concept of fairness and equality, so might not understand why siblings of other ages are treated differently or feel like one child gets preferential treatment. Teenagers, on the other hand, are developing a sense of individuality and independence, and might resent helping with household responsibilities, taking care of younger siblings, or even having to spend time together. All of these differences can influence the way kids fight with one another.
Individual temperaments. Your kids' individual temperaments — including mood, disposition, and adaptability — and their unique personalities play a large role in how well they get along. For example, if one child is laid back and another is easily rattled, they may often get into it. Similarly, a child who is especially clingy and drawn to parents for comfort and love might be resented by siblings who see this and want the same amount of attention.

I agree with this statement. Some things you can find a solution too and other things (in many cases) will solve themselves. Barring bloodshed; in most cases it may be better not to get too involved in kids bickering among themselves. My kids(4) are grown up. I always say "I have 4 kids one of each." Meeting them would explain this ridiculous statement. They are all very different from each other and have mutual respect. as they grew older, they agreed to disagree agreeably.Now they don't "bicker".........they "debate" Ya gotta love it!!!

I couldn't agree more

My kids drive me crazy

I agree Mary. I am helping raise 3 of my grandchildren. When I hear crying over something I usually ask....is that yours? My answer is....if it isn't yours, don't touch it! Period.

Hi Marshall, my approach is just the opposite and may only work with kids close in age, and it applies to typical sibling and not more serious issues. (9 out of 10!!) I started this very young (5 and 7) and it was effective through every age. It also has to be presented in the right way, like "listen I can tell you're enjoying this and I'm not" so, They were grounded together until they decided how to solve their problem and not involve me. (5 minutes didn't work) and I couldn't hear screaming or see bloodshed. This had to be done with no distractions, no TV, Music or Phone and of course I checked. It sometimes took some time if the disagreement was real. They then had to come to me, apologize for involving me, and let me know their solution. If they didn't stick to the agreement, it started over. My kids are in their 30s, awesome adults, were and are still best friends and allies. And, they brag about the way they were parented.