ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com/media/feedlogo.gif ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com en-us Copyright 2012 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/The Stay-at-Stove Dadhttp://www.parentdish.com/2009/06/26/the-stay-at-stove-dad/http://www.parentdish.com/2009/06/26/the-stay-at-stove-dad/http://www.parentdish.com/2009/06/26/the-stay-at-stove-dad/#commentsFiled under:

Dad in the kitchen

Is Dad hopeless in the kitchen? Photo courtesy stockexpert.com

It's a sad but accurate generalization that most fathers are all thumbs in the kitchen. Family meal preparation is largely the domain of the mother. Apart from weekend barbecue duty or the very occasional, sloppily slapped-together breakfast (just please don't ask for French Toast, kids), most dads simply don't have the time -- or often inclination -- to flex their culinary muscles. Speaking as the parent of two toddlers, as much as I'd love to be able to routinely whip up nutritious, multi-course repasts for my family, I'm sorry to say that the best my skills can offer are some basic microwaving, the odd PB&J and anything that involves a toaster. Whether because of work commitments, ineptitude or simple adherence to still-well-established societal norms, most of us dads just aren't equipped for anything more than that.

John Donohue, 40, however, is not most dads. A full-time journalist and married father of two, John launched his own blog last year for the purposes of bucking the helpless father trend. The blog, "StayAtStoveDad," documents, as he puts it, "one man's effort to feed himself and his family." The end results are both informative and inspiring. John spoke with ParentDish to explain his mission.

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]]>mealtimeAlex SmithFri, 26 Jun 2009 14:00:00 ESTIs Gatekeeping Part of Your Parenting Style?http://www.parentdish.com/2009/06/22/is-gatekeeping-part-of-your-parenting-style/http://www.parentdish.com/2009/06/22/is-gatekeeping-part-of-your-parenting-style/http://www.parentdish.com/2009/06/22/is-gatekeeping-part-of-your-parenting-style/#commentsFiled under:

Only a couple of generations ago, the popular perception of the role of the father usually found him kicking back in the living room, reading the paper and occasionally doling out some pearl of fatherly wisdom while Mom tended to the little folk. Dad may have handled some rudimentary tucking-in, but rarely was he more involved in that, his frequent catchphrase being "go ask your mother." My own father-in-law claims to have never changed a single diaper in his life, and he had six kids!

Day Out with Daddy: Celebrity Dads and Kids

    Brad Pitt
    Actor Brad Pitt, who has six children with actress Angelina Jolie, visits the playground with three of their kids -- daughter Zahara, and sons Pax and Maddox. Not pictured are daughter Shiloh and twins Vivienne and Knox.

    James Devaney, WireImage

    Tom Cruise
    Actor Tom Cruise walks the streets of Manhattan with his daughter, Suri Cruise; mom is actress Katie Holmes. Tom also has two other children -- daughter Isabella and son Connor -- from his previous marriage to actress Nicole Kidman.

    James Devaney, WireImage

    Chris Martin
    Coldplay front man Chris Martin taking a walk with daughter, Apple. Martin has two children with his wife, actress Gwyneth Paltrow - daughter Apple and son Moses.

    X17online.com

    Matthew McConaughey
    Matthew McConaughey sits in the sand with son Levi on the beach in Malibu. Levi is McConaughey's first child with model/handbag designer girlfriend Camila Alves.

    X17online.com

    Tom Brady
    The New England Patriots' star quarterback, Tom Brady, visits with his son, John Edward Thomas Moynahan. Mom is Brady's former girlfriend, actress Bridget Moynahan. Brady married Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bündchen in February 2009 in Los Angeles.

    Revolutionpix / Fame Pictures

    Ben Affleck
    Actor/director Ben Affleck picks up his oldest daughter, Violet, from school. Ben and his wife, actress Jennifer Garner, have two daughters - Violet Ann Affleck and Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck.

    Bauer-Griffin

    Matt Damon
    Actor Matt Damon gives his daughter, Isabella, a lift at LAX Airport. Damon and his wife, Luciana Barroso, have two daughters together -- Isabella and Gia. Luciana also has a daughter, Alexia, from a previous marriage.

    Bauer-Griffin

    President Barack Obama
    Despite his insanely busy and important schedule, President Barack Obama makes it a point to spend as much time as he can with daughters Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7.

    Getty Images

    Will Smith
    Will Smith and two of his children with actress wife Jada Pinkett Smith -- daughter Willow and son Jaden -- enjoy a night out in New York City. Smith also has a third child, son Trey , from his previous marriage to Sheree Zampino.

    Eric Charbonneau, Le Studio/Wireimage

    Seal
    Sexy crooner Seal, seen here playing in the park with one of his sons, has three children with supermodel wife Heidi Klum -- daughter Leni, son Henry and son Johan. The couple recently announced that baby #4 is on the way!

    Bauer-Griffin



Times have changed, of course. Today's parents are expected to be hands-on caregivers, both actively involved with virtually every aspect of child-rearing. But even in this more enlightened age, certain parents find it hard to get the balance right. In much the same manner that men wince when handing over the remote control to their wives, some mothers fear the worst when entrusting the care of the children to dear ol' Dad. While it can be a perfectly natural inclination to hover, scrutinize and even interfere with your spouse's parenting, it's a habit that can often lead to friction. This phenomena even has a name: It's called "gatekeeping," and according to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, modern science has started to look into its roots, practices and pitfalls, and how to avoid them.

While mothers are usually more likely to do the gatekeeping, the fault shouldn't fall squarely on them. Hesitant fathers can often act as gatekeeping-enablers. "When my son was born," says Joel Roberts, 46, "I was too nervous and inexperienced to care for him the first few weeks without my wife around to help me out. But that was entirely about my own lack of confidence as a first-time parent. My wife was completely understanding and her support helped me become a better parent." Fellow father John Donohue, 40, takes it a step further. "We're pretty much equal parents," he says, "but if anything, I sometimes wish there was a gatekeeper. We both share responsibilities around the house as equally as possible, which can result in no one taking charge. "

On the other side of the fence, gatekeeping can often seem absolutely mandatory. "Yes, I do feel the need to supervise my husband," says mother Robin Locke, 42."2 weeks ago I left the house for 10 minutes, he went to change [the baby] and she rolled off the changing table and broke her hip. She's in a full body cast for 6 weeks. The week before, he put her on the couch to roll out a blanket and she rolled off of there as well."

To better re-align the roles, fathers are advised to brush up on the basic skills and seek the counsel of fellow dads. Moreover, parents are advised to police themselves. The key to avoid gatekeeping is realizing that the welfare of the children is a duty to be shared.

Have you experienced gatekeeping first hand? How have you and your spouse dealt with trying to share the parenting load?

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]]>gatekeeperphoto galleryPhotoGalleryAlex SmithMon, 22 Jun 2009 13:00:00 EST