Amy Hatch
Opinion: Tenn. Legislator Who Wants Divorced Parents to Always Get Equal Parenting Time Has No Idea What He's Talking About
Divorce & Custody, In The News, Opinions
Divorce is hard on kids, and a new law forcing parents to split custody down the middle would make it even harder. Credit: Getty Images
The bill, which is in committee, is drawing standing room-only crowds and appears to be dividing parents right across gender lines, the Tennessean reports. Mothers are protesting what they see as a law that could force women to stay in abusive relationships, and some fathers are lauding the bill, saying current divorce laws in the state prevent many dads from having meaningful relationships with their children.
If the bill makes it through the Tennessee House and Senate, that state would become the only one with a so-called gender-neutral custody policy. I'm all for gender-neutral policies and laws -- as long as they aren't crazy, which this one absolutely is.
Proponents of the bill say it would eliminate nasty custody battles and, in the end, give kids what they need: Equal time with both parents, not a custody arrangement that makes sense for the parents' logistics. In theory, they're right. Divorce is disruptive enough without the added emotional distress of, in some cases, drastically reducing the time children spend with one particular parent.
Celebrating St. Patrick's Day
The Chicago River is dyed green each St. Patrick's Day. Credit: Flipped Out, Flickr
What is St. Patrick's Day?
St. Patrick's Day typically falls during the Christian season of Lent, according to History.com, and on this day Irish families would attend church in the morning and celebrate the Irish saint's feast day and the anniversary of his death, which occurred in the fifth century. St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland, and legend tells that he banished all the snakes from that country. Lenten traditions prohibiting the consumption of meat were lifted on this day and people would drink, dance and eat a traditional meal of Irish bacon and cabbage.
When is St. Patrick's Day?
St. Patrick's Day is celebrated on March 17, the anniversary of the Irish saint's death. It is also his feast day on the Christian religious calendar.
Opinion: I Had a C-Section - Does That Make Me Less of a Mother?
Babies, Pregnancy & Birth, In The News, Opinions
A cesarean section can be just as joyful as a vaginal birth. Credit: Getty Images
The National Institutes of Health got a bunch of medical bigwigs together last week to talk about cesarean delivery and what they called the "troubling fact" that women who want to try for a vaginal birth after a C-section (VBAC) are often denied that option.
The panel supports the idea of allowing a woman to pursue a VBAC, and the research seems to bear out the fact that, for many, a vaginal birth after a surgical one is a viable option: According to the NIH press release about the panel, labor is successful in nearly 75 percent of VBAC cases.
"About 70 percent of women who have had Cesareans are good candidates for trying for a normal birth, and 60 percent to 80 percent of those who try succeed," Dr. F. Gary Cunningham, the conference chairman and a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas, tells The Money Times.
What's troubling to me is not the fact that Cunningham wants more women to have access to VBACs. No, what's troubling to me is how he called the way I birthed my children abnormal. I had two C-sections -- the first one because my daughter was breech, and the second an elective repeat C-section. The assertion that my birth experiences were less than normal is totally insulting.
Opinion: Is Tweeting Our Family Tragedies the New Normal?
There is a little girl named Layla Grace who died yesterday. She had cancer, and I followed this 2-year-old's downward spiral from the time she was diagnosed with neuroblastoma 10 months ago.
Layla Grace was not my neighbor. She was not my child's nursery-school classmate nor the daughter of a friend. She was not a member of my church or even a resident of my community. I do not know Layla Grace -- or her parents -- but her passing weighs on my mind nonetheless.
I know Layla Grace through Twitter. The child's parents were tweeting and continue to tweet about their loss, and blog about it as well. Some say using social media to reach out to other moms and dads during times of tragedy is a way to connect us all, across the usual dividing lines of race, class, gender, sexual orientation and geography.
I used to think so, too.

In fact, I wrote a piece on the topic last year, after a California couple shared their grief at the passing of their 17-month-old daughter and Twitter mobilized around them. They had been raising money for the March of Dimes at the time of the child's death -- she was born 11 weeks premature -- and by the time #Maddie was trending, which is the way you find a topic on Twitter, they raised more than $100,000 through donations from, literally, virtual strangers.
At the time, I called Twitter the modern version of a back porch, where friends and community members gathered with casseroles and comfort when tragedy struck. I believed that then, and in Maddie's case, it is still an accurate metaphor.
Now I wonder just how much tragedy we can absorb before we are immune to it. Layla Grace's journey to death, and her parents' overwhelming grief, is almost unreal. It feels like a play, or a TV movie of the week. My fear is that we will cross the line from compassion to consumption.

Layla Grace's dire condition attracted the attention of celebrities like Ryan Seacrest, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, all of whom helped the 2-year-old's mom in her effort to raise awareness of the child's condition -- stage four neuroblastoma, a cancer that is common in infancy and childhood. Their involvement in the story made it ever more surreal, and more and more like the plight of a fictional character.
I fear we are in danger of grief and loss becoming so abstract that it seems more like entertainment than tragedy. While there's no doubt that most people who reach out to families in need are genuine in their empathy and compassion, there is another side to that coin. In a sickening way, it feels almost trendy to glom on to what were once the intimate moments of tragedy borne only by families and their closest friends.That is one trend I will let pass me by.
I can't judge the parents of these children for needing to share their sadness. I cannot and will not pretend to understand the heart and mind of someone whose child has died or is dying. That is not my right.

Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe tweeting our family tragedies is the new normal, the Web 2.0 version of gathering around those who are suffering. What I do know is that I need to turn away from the screen when I see this kind of pain and agony scrolling by. Not because my heart is hardened, but because I fear it may become so.
When Your Child Is the Bully
Playground Bureau, Education, Bullying
Is your kid a Scott-Farkus-in-the-making? Credit: (c)MGM, Courtesy of Everett Collection
"My daughter was mean," recalls the New Jersey mom of three.
And with that realization came with a flood of emotions -- confusion, embarrassment, and even shame.
"I was a teacher and a nanny before I had kids, so I thought I had it all figured out. I was ... embarrassed of my daughter, and I definitely felt shame. Here I was this teacher, this nanny with years of experience, and I couldn't even control my 15-month-old."
We hear so often about the victims of bullies, the kids who suffer at the hands of tiny tyrants or teen queens. The media covers the sensational cases, like that of Phoebe Prince, the 15-year-old South Hadley, Mass. student who took her own life after she was taunted mercilessly on Facebook.
But what about your average, garden-variety bully? And what about their parents? For Heidi, living with the knowledge that her child took pleasure in victimizing others was incredibly stressful.
Court Grants Parents Permission to Sterilize 11-Year-Old
Medical Conditions, In The News, Special Needs
A couple won permission from the Australian courts to go ahead with a planned hysterectomy for their 11-year-old daughter, whose medical condition causes her to have epileptic seizures when she menstruates. The ruling has sparked a nationwide debate there over the rights of children with disabilities.
The child, known only as Angela, has a condition called Rett Syndrome, according to ABC News Online. The disease is profoundly disabling and has left her without the ability to communicate; she is also unable to feed herself or walk without assistance.
While Angela's seizures are controlled by medication, they worsen when the girl has a heavy menstrual period, which, for her, began at the age of 9. Experts recommended to her parents in March 2009 that the girl undergo a hysterectomy, but the health provider would not perform the surgery without a court order because of the irreversible nature of the procedure.
Judge to Mom on Jury Duty: No Babysitter? You're Going to Jail!
In The News, Weird But True, Childcare
It was a very bad day, indeed, for Carmela Khury when she was called for jury duty in a Michigan murder case: Her mother, who was watching her two kids, had to have emergency oral surgery. Then, her backup child care fell through.
Khury called the office of Oakland County Circuit Court Judge Leo Bowman, according to The New York Times, and explained her predicament. Still, she was ordered to show up for jury selection at 9 a.m. and was warned that if she didn't, she could be arrested. So Khury gathered up her 8-month-old son and 3-year-old daughter and took them with her.
She showed up at 9:25 a.m. with her children in tow, and she was excused from her duties. But things didn't end there: Bowman ordered her to sit through every day of the trial as an observer. Additionally, Bowman sentenced her to 24 hours in jail for contempt of court after the trial ended.
Divorced Before Puberty: Former Child Bride Details Marriage at Age 10 in New Book
Kids 8-11, In The News, Weird But True
Divorced at age 10. Credit: Amazon
Nujood Ali walked into a Yemeni courtroom and asked to see a judge, because she wanted a divorce. This may seem like a common tale of marital dissolution, but Nujood Ali was just 10 years old when she defied the cultural traditions and walked out on the husband who was more than 20 years her senior.
Nujood, now 12, chronicles her journey from child bride to celebrated hero in her new autobiography, "I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced." Ghostwritten by French newspaper reporter Delphine Minoui, the book details how the young girl shocked citizens of her native Yemen after she walked out on her arranged marriage to a motorcycle delivery man. Nujood's father married her off to the man for a dowry of $250, and for two months she begged her husband every day to return her to her family.
He refused, and so Nujood decided to take action. One afternoon, when her mother sent her on an errand, Nujood took a bus into the crowded capital city of Sanaa. She then hailed a taxi to the courthouse. Not knowing what else to do, she sat on a bench outside a courtroom all day, until a judge noticed her lingering in the empty hallway. He asked what she needed, and the girl said simply, "I came for a divorce."
Parents of Dying Children Consider Euthanasia, Study Shows
Medical Conditions, In The News
There may be no greater pain than watching your child struggle with an agonizing, terminal illness. And that's why some parents of dying children may consider asking their doctors to hasten the end of their child's life.
According to Time magazine, a new study out of the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston reveals that of 141 parents whose children died from pediatric cancer, 34 percent of parents said that in hindsight, they would have contemplated hastening the end of their child's life. However, only 13 parents admitted to having the conversation with a physician.
The results are an indication that caregivers and parents are at a loss when it comes to developing a palliative care plan for children who suffer from terminal illnesses. Parents are naturally inclined to believe their kids still have a chance to fight their diseases, and many childhood cancers still have an uncertain prognosis. Those two factors can combine to create an environment in which end-of-life care is delayed.
A 2008 study conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, Children's Hospital states that many are hesitant to have these hard conversations, Time reports.
Build a Wiccan Altar? Not in My Shop Class, Teacher Says
Teens & Tweens, In The News, Education, Religion & Spirituality
Can building a Wiccan altar lead to the practice of black magic? An Iowa shop teachers says yes. Credit: jimd2007, Flickr
An Iowa shop teacher who refused to allow a student to build a Wiccan altar in class has been placed on leave in a flap over religious freedom of expression.
Dale Halferty, who has taught industrial arts at Guthrie Center High School in Guthrie, Iowa, for three years, admits he forbade the student to construct an altar dedicated to the religion as part of a class assignment, The Des Moines Register reports.
Wicca is known as the modern form of witchcraft and typically involves the worship of multiple gods.
A 20-year veteran of the classroom, Halferty asserts that he was well within his rights to prevent the teen from building the structure, which he says poses a threat to the separation of church and state. He previously prevented another student from building a cross in the class.
"... This kid was practicing his religion during class time, and I don't agree," Halferty tells the Register. "I don't want any religious symbols in the shop. We as Christians don't get to have our say during school time, so why should he?"














