Drug Testing Kids in the Comfort of Home is So Not Comforting

by Dori Hartley

How do you know if your children are on drugs?

Look in their eyes. The eyes tell all.

Before purchasing that home drug test, understand that making your child submit to a test not only raises a red flag telling him you don't trust him, it's also humiliating for both of you.

Peeing into a cup is no picnic, but handing over your steaming hot specimen to Mom is downright icky.

Drug use shows itself in its user. And the only way you'd be justified to test your own kid is if you truly are blind to whom your child is. You either know your kid or you don't. And, if something is "different" about your child, chances are, you're going to perceive it.

Home drug testing is just another excuse for parents to become further removed from their children. If your kid is using, you'll know it way before the testing stage is necessary.

You don't need a test, you need a conversation.

Marijuana smoke, like cigarette smoke, is smelly. If you suspect your child is smoking, put your nose in his clothing and hair. There's no hiding the inescapable stench.

Pills affect speech. Amphetamines cause users to speak rapidly, often times with a dry mouth. Painkillers, which cause grogginess, can make people slur their words. Listen to your kid's speech.

And one thing no drug users get away with is what they reveal in their eyes: pin-pointed pupils, black hole dilation or just good old fashioned, stoned-out redness hidden behind sunglasses.

Ask your kid to take those shades off and take a look to see what's in front of you. A drug user will lie, but the drugs themselves are incapable of deceit. No amount of Visine can effectively hide "the look" one gets after indulging in any drug.

I know "the look." I grew up during the 1970s, a time in history when drugs were everywhere. On weekends, my wannabe-hippie, New York City parents would bring me to the peace and love mecca of all drug-abusing hubs -- Bethesda Fountain in Central Park.

We saw and smelled the clouds of marijuana smoke that hovered above the crowds, as bongos and congas pounded out eternally long versions of "Oye Como Va" and "Witchy Woman."

People smoked their hash pipes out in the open, unafraid of being busted. In their inebriated trances, they would dance naked, and, on occasion, someone would mount a statue and tell the world (in slow motion) how beautiful we all were, courtesy of the delusion given them by a widely used hallucinogen called LSD.

We watched Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin die from alcohol and heroin abuse. We saw the hippies at the fountain and we saw the stoners at school. We knew what it looked like, and it was all there, easily seen in the eyes.

The lesson? Pay attention to your children. Look for subtle changes. Communicate and ask them about their lives, their world. Get to know your kid, if you haven't already.

The question of whether or not we should perform home drug tests is really only the beginning of a series of questions that need to be asked. Because, if the results come back positive for drugs, the real question becomes: What are you going to do about it?

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Teens Will Be too Scared to Try Drugs If They Know You're Testing Them

by Jessica Samakow

From a young age, kids are conditioned to fear the dreaded time-out punishment.

"Share your markers or else you'll be put in time-out," they're told.

So, it's no secret that kids who then share their markers are doing so in order to avoid a time-out, not because they feel a moral obligation to lend the purple to their friend.

And, so, it makes sense that when it comes to testing teens for drugs, a similar precedent should prove to be just as effective.

Yes, it's true: When someone is high, the signs often are visible. The blood-shot eyes, the mad dash for munchies -- you've seen it all before.

However, relying on your own intuition to catch your kids in the act isn't as fool-proof as you'd like to think.

Face it: Your teen thinks you're naive. She knows your plate is full with a three-page to-do list. And she's not afraid to try sneak past you, burning red eyes and all.

And, if she does manage to hide her highness successfully, she's golden -- confident enough to try it again and again.

If teens want to do drugs, the small chance of being caught is not enough to stop them. But, if they knew you were going to drug test them on Friday, you better believe they'd think twice before lighting up that joint.

Being a teen not so long ago myself, I know the fear of getting caught is one of the biggest deterrences for kids who are hesitant to try drugs.

My friends who watched their older siblings receive a minor slap on the wrist for coming home high were the first ones to experiment themselves.

Other friends whose parents threatened to pull them off their athletic teams, or dole out other harsh punishments, were not so quick to get high, however.

If teens know they will be tested, and, therefore, definitely will be caught if they are guilty of doing drugs, they will be too scared to test the waters in the first place.

Plus, when their friends are pressuring them to give drugs a go, they can say "I can't, my parents test me," as an excuse.

They may be teased for having lame parents, but they won't be teased for being "lame" themselves.

I'm not saying every teen should face a weekly drug test -- for many it's unnecessary. But, if you do suspect that your teens may be involved in drugs, testing them is a sure way to find out -- and to stop them from doing it again.

Of course, you want your teens to make smart decisions on their own and choose not to experiment with drugs because of the morals you've instilled in them -- not because they're afraid they'll get caught.

But, when it comes to drugs, "learning the hard way" is not the best policy.

In this case, the "hard way" potentially can be deadly.

If you fear your teen is involved with drugs, stop her from using now, by means of drug testing, if necessary.

Let the morals come later.

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Paranoid Police State for My 12-year-Old? My Wrath Will Scare Her Straight, Not Random Drug Testing

by Dori Hartley

Let's jump right to the point: Drugs suck.

You know it, I know it, and, if you're any kind of good parent, you have had "the drugs-are-bad talk" with your kid, using meaningful dialogue -- none of that mamby-pamby, beating around the bush stuff.

You sat down with your middle schoolers, and let them know, in no uncertain terms, that not only are drugs "old school," but partaking in them will guarantee their lives will suck, as well.

"Drugs will make you an idiot. Got it, kid?"

"I know, Mom. But I hear that some of the other kids have done them."

"Well, then, I guess those kids have no intentions of doing anything other than being bums for the rest of their lives. First goes their skin. Then, of course, there's the damage caused to their internal organs. But that's nothing compared to what it's like to become addicted. Hoo boy, once you get that addict look, oh, you can just watch your friends flee. Lonely business, being a junkie. Come here, kid, let me show you some online photos of what happens to the nose of a cocaine abuser ..."

On occasion, driving a little fear into your child's mind can go a long distance -- and be quite positive. Paranoia can be useful. Knowledge is power, after all, and a child who knows the dangers of drug abuse is a child who will be less inclined to dabble.

But, when I read about a New Jersey town's intention to randomly drug test sixth, seventh and eighth graders in its public school, I wasn't as gung-ho to board the paranoia train as some might expect.

According to this Belvidere, N.J., school plan, 12-year-olds -- kids my own daughter's age -- would go to school knowing that at any moment someone in a position of authority could remove them from class and perform a random drug check.

I get the good intention here. Kids will be so worried about being plucked from their algebra classes to be drug tested that they'll be too intimidated to join in on the doobie-smoking in the parking lot.

But what about the kids who have absolutely no desire whatsoever to indulge in the stupidity known as recreational drugs?

If something like this were to become the national standard, middle schoolers would have even more to worry about beyond their already heavy load of concern over getting good grades, completing their homework assignments on time and figuring out who they are as young people amongst their peers.

They would have to live with the unhealthy paranoia that, at any given moment, they could be selected for a drug test.

As much as I believe drugs are the downfall of our society, I also believe living in the constant consciousness of paranoia can be too much for a kid. I'm all for the idea of campaigning against drugs. I'm thrilled with the idea of promoting a drug-free school environment. I'm just not sure the policed state of "guilty until proven innocent" is going to smoothly flow within the curriculum of learning.

I don't want my kid drug tested. She won't be doing drugs because I won't let that happen. Think that's not a possibility? Think I'm being naive? Watch me.

Because, drugs, like cigarettes, are not something I will tolerate on any level. And, should my child even try, she will see what anger really looks like.

And the wrath of Mom? That won't be random.

Random Drug Testing Not Only Does No Harm, It Offers Kids a Way Out From Peer Pressure Tactics

by Jessica Samakow

If curiosity killed the cat, it was probably death by drug overdose.

From an early age, kids are repeatedly told how harmful drugs are and, that by trying them -- even once -- the effects can be dangerous, if not deadly.

So, naive children can't help but wonder, why do people do drugs, anyway?

The immediate answer received from their best friend's older brother: "Because they make you feel awesome."

That's when kids are faced with the big decision: To try drugs or not to try drugs. Sure, we could sit here praising the "good" kids whose morals keep them from going down that road. But, in reality, most kids who just say no are really just afraid of getting caught.

So, what if there was a way to increase the likeliness of getting caught? Wouldn't fewer kids take the risk?

A New Jersey school district is proposing to conduct random drug tests on middle school students, CBS reports. Naysayers are speaking out against it, but random drug testing is an effective method of prevention. The tests aren't accusatory, they simply give kids one more reason to stay away from drugs.

Besides curiosity, kids often try drugs because of peer pressure. As the joint is passed their way at a party, friends encourage them to take a puff. "Everyone is doing it," they say. And, if you don't inhale, you're a wimp. A loser.

In response, some kids might ask, "But what if I get caught?"

"Oh, no worries," their peers will try to convince them. "You won't, as long as you're careful."

But here's the thing: If those kids knew they had to face random drug testing at school, the concerns of hesitant kids are suddenly totally valid.

As one teacher explains to CBS, it gives them an easy way out.

Those who disagree with random drug testing say it goes against our basic "rights" as Americans. They claim it's a violation of privacy, and always ask, "What about being innocent until proven guilty?" What they fail to remember is, while in school, kids don't have "basic rights."

Take the First Amendment. During school hours, kids are not allowed to say anything they want, as promised by free speech. They are not allowed to wear whatever they want, either, despite freedom of expression.

Why not raise issues about these "violations?" Because it's understood that rules need to be set in schools in order to maintain appropriate conduct. Parents appreciate that limiting their child's rights in school makes for a safer learning environment.

So, why is drug testing, which, really, can do no harm, any different?

The argument might arise that kids need to learn to make their own decisions. You can't drug test them forever, after all, and eventually they will have to use their own judgment when making choices.

Sure, but do you allow middle schoolers to choose whether or not to go to school? Of course not. Do you let them eat whatever they want, whenever they want? The answer is probably no. Do they get to decide, since they hate math, that they just won't take any class that deals with numbers? Yeah, right.

When they get to college, they will gain these freedoms. But does that mean no limitations or boundaries should be set when they're young? No way.

You make decisions for your kids now, hoping they will learn to make the right ones for themselves later on. If you monitor their attendance, food choices and class schedules, why wouldn't you choose to monitor their drug usage, as well?

And, to the kids stomping their feet in defiance of random drug testing, what, exactly, are you trying to hide?

It's Redemption Time for Ted Williams - and He Deserves Our Support

by Dori Hartley

Ted Williams deserves a second chance.

And, thanks to Doral Chenoweth, a journalist working for the Columbus Dispatch, this desperate and deserving man is going to get one.

As you no doubt know by now, Williams is the homeless, and formerly drunk/addicted "Man with the Golden Voice" newscasters can't seem to get enough of. And, once you get a earful of this dude in action, you'll not only know why he's become such an overnight sensation ... you'll cheer for him, too.

Before his made-for-TV makeover, Williams was, at first glance, a skuzzy-looking puppy. Chenoweth caught his serendipitous "audition" on video after pulling his car over to where Williams was panhandling. The straggly hobo boasted on a sign that he was born with the gift of a golden voice, and that he'd seen hard times, which was why he was on a corner, begging.

Curious, Chenoweth asked Williams for a demonstration. Genuinely happy to oblige, the courteous and apparently mega-talented voice artist launched into a mock radio announcement. Blown away, Chenoweth recorded Williams, and promptly did what anyone else would do with video gold: He put it on YouTube. Once the mellifluous sounds of the street beggar's speaking voice hit the Web waves, everyone wanted to know more about him.

The details of his demise came out, and they weren't pretty. Drugs. Alcohol. Jail time. Homelessness. At the time Chenoweth discovered him, Williams was living on the street. But the drugs and the drink, he says, were things of the past. Two years sober now, Williams, for the first time in his life, found himself in the right place at the right time.

The video, of course, caught fire and so did the positive attitude towards this man who had made more than a few seriously bad turns in his life. And, then, the offers started rolling in. Voice over work, talk show hosting, sports announcing. Oh, yeah, Williams is a working man now!

Within what seemed like a few minutes, this 53-year-old went from nasty-looking bum to the "It" guy. Now sporting a spiffy suit and tie, shave, haircut, national fame and so much promise ahead, one of our fellow Americans is finally getting what we all wish for at some point or another: a second chance.

True, partaking in drugs and alcohol was clearly a bad decision for Williams. And, as a society, we tend to be extraordinarily unforgiving when it comes to drug abusers. If a person has done drugs, we always assume they can't possibly do anything else but be a pathetic waste of space.

But is this really true? How about leaving room for a little redemption? How about a little, "Let's hear it for the poor schmuck who's getting a second chance?"

Williams isn't a child molester; he's not a rapist. He's a guy who took the wrong road and, because of it, ended up screwing up his life. "Crap" happens, and it happened hard for T. Dubs.

But can't we just be happy that this guy finally got cut some slack?

Of course, outside of all this thrilling possibility, there's a seemingly endless cacophony of doubters, all waiting for the moment when Williams will publicly fail the test. For every bit of good news Williams encounters, there's someone practically salivating with the words, "There's a chance he might go back to drugs and alcohol!"

I sincerely hope that doesn't happen. But, if it does, will anyone really care about Williams, the man? Or, will his repeat fall from grace just become another viral sensation on YouTube?

We all make mistakes. Some of us, like Williams, make seriously bad ones, and rarely do we get such a "golden" opportunity to redeem ourselves, as he did. In the end, it's not our place to judge. Instead, let's take his story and file it under "hope" -- and remember, sometimes a second chance is all we need to lead us to a new beginning. And who doesn't deserve that?

Sorry, Ted Williams, but Your Good Luck Should Not Be Regaled as Success Story

by Jessica Samakow

Growing up, my parents taught me I could be anything I wanted to be, and that no dream was out of reach. And, when I was 4, I took their words of wisdom literally: I put on a princess dress, and BAM! I was a princess.

But, as my childhood fantasies faded away, I learned that aside from putting on a costume, the way to become "whatever I wanted to be" was through hard work.

My folks paved the road to success for me, reminding me constantly how important it is to have a good education. As long as I worked hard in school and stayed away from drugs and even farther away from prison, I could achieve my goals. I believed it then, and I still do now.

But, I can't help but wonder how heavily their advice would have weighed on me if the media had been shoving the opposite message in my face, as a recent breaking news story is doing today.

A week ago, Ted Williams was a homeless man with a criminal record. A cardboard sign caught one reporter's attention, and now, according to CBS, Williams has been hired by the Cleveland Cavaliers, is receiving job offers left and right ... and still has a criminal record.

Tracey Marek, senior vice president of marketing for the Cavaliers, says she's glad to have him on board, despite his many mug shots.

"We loved his voice, we loved his story" she tells NBC's "Today."

When the facts are laid out, however, his story is anything but lovable.

Williams was once a radio announcer. Then he fell into drugs. And, when he became homeless and couldn't find another job on the radio, he chose theft as his means of obtaining money.

Williams has landed in jail twice for stealing and has been cited with a dozen additional misdemeanors, The Columbus Dispatch reports. His past is unfortunate, but his actions are teaching kids that laziness and luck bring success and that drugs and crime won't stand in the way.

In the same report on "Today," Williams expresses his gratitude that his mother is alive to witness his success. He says she would have been happy if he had taken a job at McDonald's, or anywhere else for that matter, while he was out of a radio job.

So, my question is, why didn't he? He was perfectly capable of working, but because he couldn't find a job in his desired field, he chose to beg and steal, instead?

There are thousands of talented voiceover artists struggling to make it in the industry who maintain unrelated jobs. They go to auditions, work to pay the bills and hope their hard work and perseverance will pay off so their "golden voices" will be discovered. They aren't sitting outside waiting for a cardboard sign to be their ticket to success.

Williams tells "Today" he remembers thinking, "maybe this will be the year that someone will say, hey, man, you wanna job? Or something ..."

Sorry. In the real world, it doesn't happen that way. You want a job? You go out and look for one and you don't rest until you find one. William's one-in-a-million lucky strike sends the message that YouTube stardom is an alternative to hard work.

And, so, while Williams' story is notable, it is not one that should be praised. There are plenty of other rags-to-riches stories that serve as much better examples and inspirations to kids. Oprah, anyone?