ParentDish

Is Bieber Fever Hazardous to Mental Health?

Dr. Alan Ravitz — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 18:00:00 EST

Filed under: Tweens, Teens, Celeb Kids, Media, Opinions, Tween Culture, Teen Culture, Development: Tweens, Social & Emotional Growth: Tweens, Development: Teens, Social & Emotional Growth: Teens, New In Pop Culture, Celeb News & Interviews

Do you have Bieber fever? Credit: Chris Polk/KCA2010/Getty Images for KC

Parents of tweenage girls, Twitterers, trend-watchers-and the rest of the world, probably-know all about Justin Bieber, the 16-year-old pop sensation who appears to have sprung fully-formed from the Canadian heartland to take America by storm. And those with more than a passing interest and access to the Internet likely know that the teen star has been linked to the latest in a string of young women, the singer Selena Gomez, who is 18. Recently, the Web was aflutter over pictures of the two on a Caribbean vacation, apparently locking lips. Innocent fun, right? Free of consequences? Not when the "Beliebers" get you in their sights.

In fact, the combination of "Bieber fever" and Twitter has turned lethal -- at least verbally, as some fans have actually issued death threats targeted at Gomez. And while the anonymity of the Internet cloaks the age of these posters, they are likely young girls and adolescents. Take your pick of shocking posts:

o. "@selenagomez I'll kiII you I swear on GOD!!!!"
o. "@selenagomez stay away from Justin ped0phile, retard wait i'm gonna kiII ya in the night underneath your smelly bed"
o. "@selenagomez whore cancer whore..like i'mm kiII myself cuz i saw you and Justin kissing well thankyou Selena thankyou now i'm kiIILing myself"

Death threats? Slurs? Suicidal language? Why would our children type these things? Sadly, it's another side-effect of the culture of the Web: Just like teens bully their peers even more viciously online than in real life because the consequences aren't immediately apparent, children and adolescents in the virtual world are quicker and more outrageous in their anger or despair when faced with a setback. The stream-of-consciousness spewing of raw feeling has, unfortunately, become accepted as a form of authenticity. As if the immediacy of the emotion somehow excuses the virulence of what's being expressed.

Which leads to a another disturbing question: How did our kids get so deeply invested in Justin Bieber's love life? Don't they know he doesn't sing just for them?

Girls today can get incredibly wrapped up in relationships that in reality are nothing but fiction. This is nothing new, of course -- mention Sinatra, Elvis, the Beatles, David Cassidy, Michael Jackson, New Kids on the Block, the Backstreet Boys, and any number of women of every age will recall a youthful infatuation bordering on obsession. And yet today it is different -- young fans have a much stronger illusion of access to their idols, who communicate "directly" to them on their smartphones and iPads via social media. A youngster could be forgiven for thinking that Justin Bieber is, in this virtual universe, reciprocating her affections.

This is just what Bieber's media machine is after. An astute reader of the Huffington Post points out that in some countries in Asia, like South Korea, male pop stars are forbidden from having public romantic relationships to preserve the fiction for their young female fans -- and thus pad the bottom line. This fiction can be dangerous -- sure enough, at a Bieber concert in Australia last year, a number of young fans were crushed in the rush to be near the stage and their virtual beau in the flesh. But the more pervasive danger is emotional -- as evidenced by the virulent outpouring following the Gomez flap. And it's especially worrying because these obsessions are less and less visible to parents.

The days of posters, magazines, and massive CD collections are gone, all disappeared inside the computer, or even the device in a kid's pocket. Endless calls that used to tie up the phone are now silent text messages. And with this increased access -- that Bieber has to his fans, that they have to him, that our children have to the wider community on the Web -- the harmless, if hysterical, crushes of the past now spur open talk of murder and suicide. Another HuffPo commenter makes light of the phenomenon -- in the '80s and early '90s, she writes, "we didn't have 'THE INTERNET,' we had AOL! It was way too slow for us to be totally outraged on the Internet." This joke contains a fairly substantial kernel of truth: The Web is not just a forum, a new method of communication; it amplifies raw emotions, passing rages, and their consequences.

Bieber's mother is reportedly upset with him about the pictures. We don't need to be angry with our kids, but we need to teach them that the rules they know to follow don't magically disappear when they're in front of a keyboard and a screen. We understand that these Beliebers on Twitter probably don't truly feel murderous or suicidal; they're indulging in adolescent exaggeration, and if we heard them say it, we would probably hear it that way. But these kinds of remarks read very differently in print -- you just can't tell online. And remember that when 18-year-old Tyler Clementi killed himself last year, following a heartless prank, he left this message on Facebook: "jumping off the gw bridge sorry."

Knowing the difference between real pain and teen exaggeration is key to monitoring our kids' emotional lives in this digital age, and the only way to do that is to know your child. Be tuned in to her moods; talk to her about her music and her crushes. You want to understand how powerful her interest is, gauge how emotionally involved she is, and know when she's suffering -- even if the object of her affections is someone she's never met. It's not easy; not a lot of parenting in the 2.0 world is. But this is her life. You want to be there for her, even if it seems too silly to be serious. A broken heart is a broken heart, even on the Web.

Alan Ravitz, MD, MS, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute. For more on parenting adolescents, go to childmind.org, which offers advice and a wealth of information on childhood psychiatric and learning disorders.

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Miley Cyrus, Salvia and Parenting in the YouTube Age

Dr. Alan Ravitz — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 16:40:00 EST

Filed under: Celeb Kids, In The News, Alcohol & Drugs, Media, Tween Culture, Teen Culture, Health & Safety: Tweens, Development: Tweens, Social & Emotional Growth: Tweens, Expert Advice: Tweens, Health & Safety: Teens, Development: Teens, Social & Emotional Growth: Teens, Expert Advice: Teens

Good parenting seems to get new enemies all the time: new drugs, new media, new "role models." This month's culprits: salvia divinorum, YouTube, Miley Cyrus.

The young songstress and provocateur was recently caught on video smoking a bong and quickly dissolving into giggles, a conspicuous lack of coordination, and patter that suggested she was hallucinating. Watchers have concluded that she was probably smoking salvia -- also known as Magic Mint or Sally D -- the most potent psychedelic herb in the world, which happens to only last 15 minutes or so and is undetectable with normal drug tests. In addition to those and a host of other interesting properties, salvia has one that parents might find even more terrifying: It's legal. Happy Holidays indeed.

If you can't wrap your head around that, you're not alone. Many states have banned or regulated the drug, and the video has sparked more talk of similar moves, but the federal government is silent. In any case, it is readily available on the Internet and in head shops, and some reports indicate an explosion in sales following the Cyrus video -- think of it as a "cool, Miley's doing it" effect. And it's not just her; there are scores of videos of young people trashed on salvia on YouTube. We have to face facts: parenting 2.0 isn't just harder, it's different, and the Internet can sometimes be a scarier and more detrimental environment than even the worst street corner.

And Miley's video doesn't make warning kids about the dangers of this drug any easier. She takes a hit, laughs, thinks some other guy is her boyfriend, and wants "some more of that s**t." But the video, like many others on the Web, does not begin to tell the story of salvia divinorum. This is a powerful hallucinogen used by the Mazatec Indians in Mexico for religious rituals going back hundreds of years. It is not a recreational drug; it is not a social drug; it is not a "fun" drug. It is a dissociative psychedelic that can inspire a total separation from reality, terrifying visions, and a feeling that one is dying. On the other hand, it can also inspire very deep spiritual experiences, which is why it has been used so long in religious rituals.

This whole flap does a real disservice to young people: they see that something is "fun;" they find out that it's legal -- and then they end up in a dissociative hallucination that resembles nothing so much as an episode of extreme psychosis, pleasant or unpleasant.

Now, I'm not naïve about drugs, and I don't profess to know if people should or shouldn't take salvia. What I do know is that the adolescent brain -- even Miley Cyrus' brain -- is still developing, and is emphatically not the proper target for any hallucinogen, especially one that may cause immense psychic stress. This is doubly true for adolescents diagnosed with or at risk for psychiatric disorders like bipolar and schizophrenia; for them, hallucinogens can do outsized harm. Sadly, these same adolescents are the ones getting the message that salvia is a party drug -- and their developing brains are also prone to make reckless decisions.

This might seem like an impossible situation: images of a popular young star appearing to have fun while on a legal substance propagated over a vast communications network that the younger generation considers its birthright and raison d'etre. What is a parent to do?

The tools of a parent aren't numerous, but used effectively they can be very powerful. So you do what you can: supervise as best as possible; this not only gives you a window into what's going on in his or her world, but also lets your kid know that you're interested and involved. When children know you care, they'll care about what you have to say.

This brings us to the next point: have a dialogue, be forthright about your concerns, and make sure you listen as much as you talk. In an uncertain and occasionally scary world, a trusting, understanding connection between you and your child can make all the difference. Remember: you can't get rid of salvia, YouTube, or Miley Cyrus. And if a kid wants to play with fire because of poor information and bad role models, there may be little you can do about changing their desires. But you can let your children know that you don't want that for them, and why. If you can make sense to them, they can make the sensible decision.

Alan Ravitz, MD, MS, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute.

For more on navigating the world of adolescence and drugs, go to childmind.org, which offers parenting advice and a wealth of information on childhood psychiatric and learning disorders.

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