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Jay Allen

Jay Allen is a technical writer who lives with his wife and children in Redmond, Washington.

Yahoo! tells us why we squirt baby bottle milk on our wrists

Newborns, Babies, Pregnancy & Birth, Eating & Nutrition, Development

Baby bottle temperature testerI love the Clips feature in Google Mail. It shows me interesting URLs I might not have found by my own devices. Take this one from Ask Yahoo!. (Yes, Ask Yahoo! is one of the default feeds for Gmail. Welcome to the weird, wild world of the 21st-century info economy, folks!) Some inquisitive reader wondered why we squirt baby bottle milk on our wrists to test its temperature.

Wanna guess? Oh come on, take a guess...

If you guessed it's because the skin on your wrist is thinner than on your hands, you're...right! What you may not have known is that your elbow is also a prime testing spot for warm milk. Or you could bypass your body altogether and put your baby's safety in the hands of these baby bottle temperature indicators. Oh, rapacious capitalism dressed in the sheep's clothing of science, what would we ever do without you??

(On another note, do you think this company could have made their product photo a little less...um, you know...phallic? Yes, I know, I'm terrible...)

35 percent of American parents are video gamers, says survey

Toys & Games, That's Entertainment

Ultimate
Spider-ManThanks to our peeps at Joystiq for this news about the video game habits of American parents. It seems the digital distractions aren't just for kids anymore: 35 percent of parents partake of the hobby, according to a study commissioned by the Entertainment Software Association. (And given that these folks live or die by how well they market their product, I'm inclined to believe they did everything in their power to get the numbers right.) The numbers not only cut evenly across political boundaries, but across gender as well: 47 percent of gamer parents are moms. [Story edited to remove stupid and sexist comment I made earlier.]

One heartening figure from the survey: 85 percent of parents, whether gamers or not, said it is their responsibility to monitor the games their kids play, and not the government's. Only 37 percent of parents polled believe the government should regulate the games that kids can buy.

Cell phone for baby? Better get him these pants to boot!

Babies, Toddlers, Development, Kid Decor & Style

Old Navy pantsThanks to Kim at Three Dogs and a Baby for this pointer to Old Navy, where you can make your child the proud owner of a pair of  cargo pants...with a pocket for his or her cell phone, so your baby or toddler can be just like "the big kid". Um, no, Old Navy - if you wanted our tots to be just like "the big kids", you would sell these pants along with a laptop, a jumbo bottle of Tums, and $10,000 in consumer debt. I know kids are growing up quickly these days, but can't we wait just a little longer to grow 'em up? Is it too much to ask to wait until my child is, say, 4 years old before I get him accustomed to a digital tether?

Student essay draws Secret Service to school for President, Oprah threat

Development, Education

Oprah WinfreyYou know, I've read a ton of parenting advice books, and for the life of me I've never seen one that contained a section urging parents to warn their kids NOT to joke about killing the President of the United States. Perhaps that explains this story from Rhode Island, in which an unnamed seventh-grader was asked to describe his perfect day in an essay. His idea of perfection? The annihilation of George W. Bush, Oprah Winfrey, and executives from Wal-Mart and Coca-Cola. The boy has been temporarily suspended from school as a mental health precaution, but was not arrested for threatening the President, as his threat wasn't specific enough to constitute a criminal offense.

I would love 10 minutes inside this child's head to find out how Oprah made it on that list. After watching her takedown of James Frey, I'd think she'd be someone you'd want to have working for you, not against you. (Besides, I'm sure Oprah's SWAT team of trained assassins can take out any potential threat with less than 24 hours' notice.)  Secretly, I have to wonder if the Secret Service was more concerned about the Queen of Daytime TV than about their reputed boss. Hmm...does this kid know something we don't know?!

(Oh, and it's my duty to remind all commenters that threatening the life of the President is a felony. Just putting that out there...)

Faustian opera broadcast angers elementary school parents

Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Development, Education, That's Entertainment

FaustDid an elementary school teacher encourage his students to strike bargains with the Prince of Darkness? That was some parents in Bennett, Colorado think about  Tresa Waggoner, who showed an opera video containing scenes of a production of Faust to first-, second-, and third-graders. Some parents were appalled that their kids were exposed to the classic story about a man who sells his soul to the devil in exchange for worldly gain.  Waggoner hasn't been fired, but says she doesn't expect to stay in the "conservative" community for very long.

Truth be told, I can see the parents' point. Faust is a rather gritty tale for the likes of elementary school students. For high school students, however, knowledge of the story should be required. It's a classic Western legend of sin and redemption - not a glorification of Satan, as some of these parents seem to believe.

If anything, Tresa Waggoner should be penalized, not for Satanism, but for trying to coerce young children into enjoying opera. What the hell is that about

Groovy Girls: cute, durable - and doomed?!

Toddlers, Preschoolers, Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Teens & Tweens, Toys & Games

Groovy GirlsI was reading Karen Walrond's latest post about Barbie sales being off, and was pleased to see a comment by Mary suggesting that parents ditch the Barbies in favor of Groovy Girls. I have to say, I second that emotion. We have an ass-ton of Groovy Girls at our house, and the kids love them. As Mary noted, they're plush and neatly dressed, but don't contain the ridiculously disproportionate curves of Mattel's mainstay. Another benefit? Since they're not composed of detachable parts like Barbies, they're extremely durable. At this point, nearly every Barbie we own looks like a survivor of Hiroshima; there are hardly any left not missing at least once body part. (And we have a few that look like they could star in a remake of Dalton Trumbo's Johnny Got His Gun.) Not one of the Girls, however, has come undone in the 6 years we've been buying them.

Sadly, this post may be coming too late: It looks like all of the Groovy Girls for sale at Imaginarium Online are out of stock. Is this just a temporary glitch - or is it the swan song for America's favorite alterna-doll? I've sent email to the manufacturer, Manhattan Toy Company, to try and get to the bottom of this. In the meantime, if you can't find them in stock elsewhere, you can always pick up plenty of Groovy Girls stuff on eBay.

A physical punishment detente: Education over criminalization?

Just For Moms, Just For Dads

No Spanking t-shirtMy previous post on physical punishment and spanking has sparked a wonderful discussion about the issue that's caused me to step back and think thinks over. Panthergirl, whose blog against physical punishment started this whole debate, has said publicly that she doesn't wish to debate the issue with supporters of spanking and hitting. With all due respect to Panthergirl, I think that's a mistake.

It's clear that there is common ground in this debate. We all agree that many kids today are spoiled and overindulged. Too many kids believe they deserve the world on a silver platter. We live in a materialistic, McDonald's-focused culture where everyone is convinced that they can have it "their way". Concern for others takes second place over concern for our own stomachs. Is it any wonder, then, that many of America's children are turning out to be brats?

The debatable question is whether spanking and hitting are valid tools to help stem this problem. I believe strongly that they are not.

But does that mean we ought to make it illegal? I'm not convinced.

The label un-maker: My toddler terrorizes our canned goods

Toddlers, Eating & Nutrition

Cans without labelsAh, I love the age of 2. It's an age of exploration, of discovery...and of driving your parents absolutely freaking insane. The latest devilish device of my two-year-old boy Luka? Tearing the labels off of canned goods. You haven't experienced a good time until you've played Mystery Food, shaking a dozen unlabeled cans and trying to judge by the way the contents shift whether it contains corn or garbonzo beans.

The solution? Um...beats me. Outside of moving all the canned goods to a high shelf, or not getting absorbed in writing Blogging Baby posts, I can't...um...sigh. Hold on, I'll be right back...

When kids starting doing chores...be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

Kids 8-11, Just For Dads

Scrubbing BubblesYesterday I saw what had to be the strangest thing I've ever seen in my parenting career: my nine-year-old daughter Neve taking out the trash. No one had asked her to do it; no one had even hinted it might be a good idea. A few moments later, I saw her putting a refill on our Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush (the best invention since the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser).

That's when I knew something was up.

Sure enough, 15 minutes later my daughter bid me to "check your bedroom". There was our bed, perfectly made - and a sign reading "Check the toilet". On the scrubbed toilet was a sign reading, "Check the garbage". There I was greeted by a sign declaring, "Check the kitchen table". And at the kitchen table was Neve, holding a sign reading, "CAN WE GO TO CHUCK E. CHEESE? PLEEEEEEEAS???"

I have to say, I was let down. Here, I was holding out hope - however razor-thin - that my daughter had decided to become an autonomous agent within the household, doing chores out of pure goodness and not expecting anything in return. I thanked her profusely for her hard work...and then told her there was no way we were going to that overpriced noise-fest.

(And no, I didn't use those exact words. I am a professional parent, after all.)

New Jersey lesbian couple demands both be listed as birth parents

Just For Moms, Adoption, Gay Parenting

New Jersey - Monmouth CountyBack in July, Stefania Butler reported on the conflict in Massachusetts over how to change birth certificates to acknowledge same-sex parents. The battle has apparently spread to Monmouth County in New Jersey, where Catherine M. O'Conor and Stephanie A. DiVita have petitioned a judge asking that they both be listed as parents once their child is born. Judge Ronald Reisner temorarily dodged the bullet by dismissing the case on the grounds that the child hasn't been born. But the couple has vowed to re-file after the birth.

One judge in New Jersey has approved a similar request, but others have denied it. The New Jersey attorney general insists that existing laws covering artificial insemination don't extend to same-sex couple, and that the legislature must change the law if it wishes to allow it. Aaah, it's always nice to see political buck-passing get in the way of granting people their rights. (Um, not.)

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