ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com/media/feedlogo.gif ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com en-us Copyright 2010 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Parents pushing for defibrillators in schoolshttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/03/05/parents-pushing-for-defibrillators-in-schools/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/03/05/parents-pushing-for-defibrillators-in-schools/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/03/05/parents-pushing-for-defibrillators-in-schools/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Eight years ago, two teenage boys suffered from sudden cardiac arrest while playing lacrosse for their high school team and subsequently died. Since then, the parents of the two boys have worked relentlessly to pass laws in their home states of Ohio and New York, making it mandatory to have a defibrillator available in schools. According to CNN.com, the parents are now pushing for federal funding to have these available in all primary and secondary schools across America.

I can't imagine what it was like for these parents to stand by and not be able to do anything for their sons, especially now knowing that having one of these machines on hand could have possibly saved their lives.

I realize that there are so many life-threatening conditions out there, and it is impossible to have the equipment on hand to prevent each and every one, but stats say that over 200,000 Americans die of sudden cardiac arrest every year, of which a quarter are possibly preventable just by having these machines on hand. Schools seem to be an ideal location as well, not only for the students and staff, but they are often used for community purposes as well.

The machines come complete with audio instructions, and are configured in such a way that they analyze the heartbeat and won't deliver a shock unless it is needed. The cost for each defibrillator? $1500. Seems like a small price to pay if it is able to save even one life.

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]]>Joanne LutynecWed, 05 Mar 2008 15:32:00 EST2008 Toy of the Year Awardshttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/03/01/2008-toy-of-the-year-awards/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/03/01/2008-toy-of-the-year-awards/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/03/01/2008-toy-of-the-year-awards/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

The Toy Industry Association held their annual Toy Fair in New York City from February 17-20, where exhibitors bring forth thousands of new and innovative products that will soon be hitting your store shelves. This exhibition is the largest toy trade show in the Western hemisphere, but is not open to the public - you have to be a toy retailer, manufacturer, distributor, or the like to gain access. Such a shame, I always thought this would be the coolest thing to attend.

The fair is kicked off with the Toy of the Year Awards, which, in their own words, are designed to "salute the creativity, success and playful spirit of the toy industry by honoring the best toys developed by the international toy industry for North American consumers."

Following is a full list of the winners. Do you agree, or have other suggestions as to who should have won?

Toy of the Year - Air Hogs Havoc Heli Laser Battle, Spin Master, Ltd
Most Innovative Toy of the Year - Smart Cycle[TM] Physical Learning, Fisher-Price
Infant/Preschool Toy of the Year - Moon Sand Adventure Island, Spin Master Ltd.
Electronic Entertainment Toy of the Year - Power Tour Electric Guitar, Tiger Electronics
Educational Toy of the Year - Smart Cycle[TM] Physical Learning, Fisher-Price
Activity Toy of the Year - LEGO City, LEGO Systems, Inc.
Game of the Year - Rubik's Revolution, Techno Source
Specialty Toy of the Year - Snap Circuits, Elenco
Outdoor Toy of the Year - RipStik(R) Caster Board, RipStik USA
Girl Toy of the Year - Littlest Pet Shop: Display & Play Round & Round Pet Town Playset, Hasbro, Inc. and Troop Groovy Girls, Manhattan Toy
Boy Toy of the Year - Transformers Movie Deluxe Figures, Hasbro, Inc.
Property of the Year - Hannah Montana, Disney Consumer Products

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]]>Joanne LutynecSat, 01 Mar 2008 16:02:00 EST3-year-old left home alonehttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/28/3-year-old-left-home-alone/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/28/3-year-old-left-home-alone/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/28/3-year-old-left-home-alone/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

It is a scary, scary world out there for some children. Earlier this week, police in Toronto, Ontario, Canada found a three-year old girl who had been abandoned in her home. After much coaxing, the little girl finally opened a side door for police, and they eventually walked her to her school as their cruiser was not equipped with a child seat.

Police have placed her two older siblings with Children's Aid, and though they didn't disclose the reason why the child was left alone or how they found out about her, they have charged (and subsequently released) the mother, and the father has been arrested for assault charges against all three children - ages 3, 6, and 8.

I can't imagine what possible circumstances could lead a mother to abandon her children, but apparently this happens more often than we may realize. In fact, this was the third child in the area to be abandoned in less than a month. I'm sure there are many more stories like this that go unreported to the public.

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]]>Joanne LutynecThu, 28 Feb 2008 14:32:00 ESTHeidi Klum and Seal's naked lessonshttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/27/heidi-klum-and-seals-naked-lessons/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/27/heidi-klum-and-seals-naked-lessons/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/27/heidi-klum-and-seals-naked-lessons/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

How would you feel if you went to the home of a friend or relative with your children, and you were greeted with naked pictures of them on the wall? Well apparently, if you are tight with Heidi Klum and her husband Seal, that is exactly what you would see.

According to this video, the supermodel and her singer husband believe that the human body is a beautiful thing (granted, I would too if I looked like them) and that children should be taught to appreciate the human form. Do you think that displaying naked pictures of themselves on the wall is the way to do this though?

Personally, I can understand having nude artwork in the house - especially if it is tastefully or artistically portrayed, but I will bet dollars to donuts that my daughter is thankful every single day that I don't have pictures of myself in the buff displayed so that she - or worse - her friends, could see them.

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]]>Joanne LutynecWed, 27 Feb 2008 11:29:00 ESTSometimes coming home is sweeter than leavinghttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/26/sometimes-coming-home-is-sweeter-than-leaving/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/26/sometimes-coming-home-is-sweeter-than-leaving/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/26/sometimes-coming-home-is-sweeter-than-leaving/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

This past weekend I flew across the country for a holiday without my daughter. It was a break I very much needed from work, and to be honest, just a break from the day to day routine of parenting, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the cats. Between room service, restaurants, having a cocktail or two during the day, and celebrating my birthday with a number of close friends, the weekend was just about perfect. The only thing that kept nagging at me was how much I missed my daughter.

I received a call from her on Friday, telling me that she landed a new job and would start the following day. A trace of sadness was noticeable in her voice as she told me that this was the first time we were unable to go out and celebrate her new employment together. She quickly shook that off though, as she started telling me about the plans she and her friends had made for the weekend.

The following day she called me again, dead tired after working her first 8-hour shift. She is no stranger to hard work, but standing for the duration of her shift and lack of sleep the night before had apparently taken it's toll on her. The first words out of her mouth were "I miss you, come home." It just about broke my heart, and I briefly considered hopping on the next plane, but after a 30-minute chat she was back to her usual, upbeat self and I promised myself to enjoy the rest of the weekend.

When I arrived at my home airport Monday afternoon, she greeted me at the gate with a huge smile and a beautiful bouquet of flowers as my birthday had been the day before. In that instant, I realized how important it is to have a little time apart, as it makes the time we do spend together that much sweeter.

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]]>Joanne LutynecTue, 26 Feb 2008 16:32:00 ESTNew websites designed specifically for kidshttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/26/new-websites-designed-specifically-for-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/26/new-websites-designed-specifically-for-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/26/new-websites-designed-specifically-for-kids/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,

If you have kids, you know that the internet can be a pretty scary place with online predators, excessive or inappropriate advertising, the list goes on. However, kids today seem to be more internet savvy than a good number of adults I know, (actually, I am convinced it is now built right into their DNA) so it is important to find safe, age-appropriate websites where they can have fun while learning something new. Two new sites, KOL and KOL Jr., were recently brought to my attention, and I am very impressed with the content.

KOL (Kids Online) is loaded with activities and information for kids of all ages. The site includes categories such as cartoons and comics, movies and television, pets and animals, sports, style, and over 100 games.

KOL Jr. will be live this Thursday, and was designed for the youngest of web users, with content appropriate for two- to five-year-olds. Yes, they really do use the internet that young. This online playground is loaded with activities that are meant to involve both parent and child, including cartoons, games, music, stories, and a number of printable coloring pages. You can view a preview via this link, and as of Thursday the full site can be found at koljr.com.

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]]>Joanne LutynecTue, 26 Feb 2008 15:30:00 ESTHello Kitty gun, with real bulletshttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/22/hello-kitty-gun-with-real-bullets/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/22/hello-kitty-gun-with-real-bullets/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/22/hello-kitty-gun-with-real-bullets/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,


I ran across this video on CNN.com and was, in a word, shocked. Real guns, real bullets, painted pink with Hello Kitty emblems on them.

My personal feelings about guns aside, I have to seriously wonder what adult would want a Hello Kitty gun to begin with, but even more seriously - just by looking at it - what child would not think this was a toy?

Yes, when we were children we played with toy guns. We played cops and robbers, pretended we were characters from movies or the wild west. We owned pretend light sabers and thought we were in Star Wars. It did not make me grow up wanting to own a real gun or harm or shoot someone. I do believe it is fair to say that in general, children are capable of playing with toys that look like weapons without causing any permanent psychological damage. On the flip side though, I can not believe that anyone thinks it is acceptable to make weapons that look like toys.

According to the video, the owner of Jim's Gun Supply states that over 75% of the people purchasing these painted weapons are law enforcement officials buying gifts for their wives so they can go to the shooting range. What is even more staggering is how many of these are out there. Do a Google search for Hello Kitty guns and you will find countless varieties.

What's next - a My Little Pony Glock?


Gallery: Hello Kitty Guns

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]]>gunshello kittyJoanne LutynecFri, 22 Feb 2008 18:02:00 ESTWould you sterilize your teenage daughter?http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/20/would-you-sterilize-your-teenage-daughter/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/20/would-you-sterilize-your-teenage-daughter/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/20/would-you-sterilize-your-teenage-daughter/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

As if birth control (or lack thereof) wasn't already a controversial enough topic for most, one UK official has now proposed forced, temporary sterilization for teenage girls.

As the mother of a teenage daughter, I have to admit my first reaction was to be completely horrified by this, but after tossing the idea around in my mind for a few days I'm now at the point where I'm not completely against the general idea as a concept. Unfortunately it isn't that simple though.

It remains highly debatable if encouraging teens to use birth control is the same as giving them permission to have sex. Is having condoms available in school bathrooms protecting them from unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, or is it simply giving them the green light to be sexually active? To be honest, I'm not sure. I think it really depends on the individual teenager and what their existing views are about having sex in the first place.

What really troubles me about this concept though is not the sterilization itself, it is the idea of it being forced upon teenagers. I can't imagine living in a society where such a thing could be mandatory for those between the ages of 12-17. Presented as a choice, I think the idea could have merit for those who choose to take advantage of it, but forced? It crosses the line on too many other issues - freedom of choice being the main one.

So the question is - If you could make the decision to temporarily sterilize your teenage daughter, would you? Is this a valid concept, or does it take away from our personal rights?

Gallery: Top Ten Pregnancy Announcement of 2007

Lily AllenBridget MoynahanMilla JovovichChristina AguileraJessica Alba


(Thanks, Caelligh!)

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]]>Joanne LutynecWed, 20 Feb 2008 16:02:00 ESTAs a mother, would you offer to help Britney?http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/17/as-a-mother-would-you-offer-to-help-britney/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/17/as-a-mother-would-you-offer-to-help-britney/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/17/as-a-mother-would-you-offer-to-help-britney/#commentsI just finished reading this article on People.com about how Heidi Klum is the latest celebrity who thinks that they can help save Britney Spears, and to be honest, I have mixed opinions about it.

Now to be fair, I'll admit that I've watched the events of Britney's life unfold over the past year with a mixture of horror and fascination. There is a voyeuristic side to me that can't quite look away, yet as a mother it disturbs me deeply, especially with what has happened to her relationship with her babies.

Yes, my own maternal instincts make me want to wrap her in a warm blanket, give her some hot chocolate, and make it all better as well, but come on. Is that realistic? This is a woman in her late twenties (not a girl, not a child) who allegedly is bipolar, has mental health issues, has a history of drug and/or alcohol abuse, has been in (and prematurely left) rehab...the list goes on. There is no way that I would assume I was qualified to help her, and I don't understand how a long list of seemingly well-balanced Hollywood celebrities keep thinking they would be able to make a difference either.

Yes, Heidi states that she has never been happier in her own life, and that she could provide a stable environment, but does that qualify her to deal with someone that has all these problems? More importantly, I can't imagine any possible scenario where having Britney as a house guest (along with her legions of paparazzi friends hanging around on the street) could be beneficial to Heidi's own children, aged 1, 2, and 3.

Fact is, Britney has a mother. Britney is a mother. She needs professional, medical help and has to want to be helped in the first place. I would so much rather see Heidi Klum and the others opt to support and bring attention to the charities / non-profits / associations that help deal with the issues Britney has, than to hear anyone else offer up room and board for her in their mansions.

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]]>Joanne LutynecSun, 17 Feb 2008 17:01:00 ESTIt takes a village to raise a childhttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/16/it-takes-a-village-to-raise-a-child/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/16/it-takes-a-village-to-raise-a-child/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/16/it-takes-a-village-to-raise-a-child/#commentsFiled under:

I've said that phrase many times, but it has never been more relevant to me on a personal level than over the past few days. Thursday morning I woke up with an extremely sore throat, yet still managed to get myself ready and head in to work. By the time I got there, what little voice I had left disappeared and I was promptly sent home. A visit to the doctor revealed that I had strep, so I grabbed my antibiotics, tissues, and some juice, and prepared to spend the next few days in bed.

The problem is, what do you do when you are a single parent, and you don't want your child to catch your infection? I was lucky enough that the parents of my daughter's friend stepped up to the plate and offered to take her in for me - insisting that she could stay there as long as it took for me to get better. Now to be fair, she is more than capable of feeding herself and taking care of herself in general, but what an enormous relief to not have to worry that she may end up in bed for the next week after catching what I had. Because of this random act of kindness, I was able to literally stay in bed for 48 straight hours, and I'm feeling much better now than I would have if I had to get up and clean and cook.

The only downside is that I am leaving town late next week for five days, and she is staying behind with another friend of hers for the duration. Though I appreciate having a village of people to back me up, I miss her already.

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]]>Joanne LutynecSat, 16 Feb 2008 15:02:00 ESTGreat-Great-Grandma still blogginghttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/16/great-great-grandma-still-blogging/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/16/great-great-grandma-still-blogging/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/16/great-great-grandma-still-blogging/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote about an Australian woman named Olive Riley, a then-107 year old Great-Great-Grandmother who began blogging stories about her memories and day-to-day life. I'm happy to report that with the help of her friend Mike, Olive has now written her 61st post over the course of the past year, and is still going strong.

The reason this story touches me so much is because I think it is wonderful that her family members will have something to look back on for years to come. To be able to hear her thoughts and know her personality years after she is gone is one of the greatest gifts computers have given us. My Grandparents (let alone my Great or Great-Great-Grandparents) passed away when I was quite little, making me wish I had a journal like this that they had composed. Over time we tend to forget the little details, but an online journal can help keep those memories alive.

I hope in another year I will be able to look back and report that Olive is still going strong. If you ever need a little lift, go give her a quick read.

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]]>Joanne LutynecSat, 16 Feb 2008 14:01:00 ESTValentine's Day crafts - Peep Popshttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/13/valentines-day-crafts-peep-pops/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/13/valentines-day-crafts-peep-pops/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/13/valentines-day-crafts-peep-pops/#commentsFiled under: ,

Being single for more Valentine's Days than I care to remember, this particular "holiday" hasn't ever really meant that much to me. That said, when you have kids it's pretty hard to ignore the pink and red completely. Year after year I'd find myself cutting hearts out of cardboard, making chocolates, or buying boxes and boxes of those cartoon-themed Valentine's Day cards that the kids exchange at school.

Well, the other day I happened to visit the Marshmallow Peep website, and I'm wishing I would have come across a few of their ideas when my daughter was a little younger. They have several Valentine-themed projects that the kids could easily help with, and won't cause you to be in the kitchen or at the craft table for days on end. Featured on their website are Strawberry Heart Cupcakes, an I Love You Bouquet, and Sweetheart Lollipops. (As pictured above.)

Now I realize that the world is divided into two groups - those who love Peeps and those who can't stand them. Personally, I just happen to adore them, and the latest addition to their family of treats is a new sugar-free variety. This is very good news to those of us still trying to stick to our New Year's resolutions.

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]]>Joanne LutynecWed, 13 Feb 2008 12:01:00 ESTHow much should you share?http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/11/how-much-should-you-share/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/11/how-much-should-you-share/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/11/how-much-should-you-share/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

One of the struggles I have had raising my daughter as a single parent is finding the line between being her mom and being her friend. It may sound like this should be an easy distinction, but I find that the older she gets, the more difficult this becomes.

Often she will come to me with her problems, and I can relate to them since it wasn't that many years ago that I was going through the same things. I know with crystal clarity the advice I would have given to my friends back when we were the same age, and I also know those are the same tidbits of advice that my daughter is seeking to hear from me now. Reassurance that she is making the right decisions, standing behind her no matter what. Helping her justify her feelings and actions, agreeing that so-and-so was in the wrong...the list goes on.

All too often though, I find an adult voice coming out of my mouth offering up advice that 20 years ago I would have shunned, ignored, or laughed at. Even though I know I am saying the things that I am supposed to say, and making the decisions that will ultimately benefit her, I can't help but hate myself just a little bit each time I find myself saying those words.

Conversely, the older she gets, the more she wants to know about who I really am. She asks questions about my past, about who I dated, things I have done wrong in my lifetime. A part of me wants to open up completely and tell her all of the mistakes and bad decisions I've made, but another part of me knows better, that opening up those particular chapters will not really be beneficial to her at this stage in her life. I think it is important she knows that I have made mistakes - but perhaps not so important to know exactly how many.

As with most things, I don't believe there really is a right or wrong answer to these questions and I'm not really looking for a solution, especially since every child is so different that what works for one won't necessarily work for another. However this is just the stage that her and I are at in our relationship, so I'm putting it out there: How do you deal with your teenagers wanting you to be their friend, and how much of yourself should you really share with them in return?

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]]>Joanne LutynecMon, 11 Feb 2008 12:02:00 ESTJif Sandwich Contest ends todayhttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/11/jif-sandwich-contest-ends-today/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/11/jif-sandwich-contest-ends-today/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/11/jif-sandwich-contest-ends-today/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,


Every year, Jif holds a contest to see who can come up with the most creative peanut butter sandwich. I am absolutely fascinated by this, possibly because when I was a child we didn't have peanut butter in our house due to my brother's severe allergy to it. Apparently I missed out on a lot of playing-with-your-food fun, judging by what some of these kids have come up with. I also think it is great that kids are having fun in the kitchen, as we all know that can help build some pretty important life skills later on.

The contest is open to children ages 6 through 12 who are US residents, and one lucky grand prize winner will receive a $25,000 scholarship fund plus a Jif gift basket. Four runner-ups will receive a $2,500 scholarship fund each, and the remaining five online finalists will receive a Jif gift basket.

Today is the last day to vote, so if you want to check out this year's entries or if you already have a favorite, make sure you go and cast your ballot. My personal favorite, the Monstwich, is pictured above.

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]]>Joanne LutynecMon, 11 Feb 2008 11:31:00 ESTTaking a holiday, without the kidshttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/09/taking-a-holiday-without-the-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/09/taking-a-holiday-without-the-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/09/taking-a-holiday-without-the-kids/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

In just under two weeks I am boarding a plane, flying across the country, and going on a much needed mini-vacation. The rub is, I'm leaving my 15-year old daughter behind for five days. Now granted, this isn't the first time I have been away from her before, but the same sense of panic, irrational thought, and feeling of guilt that I always end up with have started to set in.

What happens if the people I am leaving her with (in this case, her best friend and her mom) have an emergency / need to leave the country / get tired of her being there? What happens if the kids decide that it would be a good idea to throw a huge party at my house while I'm gone and trash the place? Or even more shocking, what if they decide to clean it? Told you I was thinking irrationally.

Then there is the concern with money. I won't leave her without access to some funds so she can buy some food and pay for entertainment, but how much is too much and how much is too little? One idea I had was to buy a few gift cards for local food establishments, so at least that way I know the money will actually go towards food and not be spent at the local convenience store on magazines, candy, or something even worse.

How do you handle the stress of going on vacation without your kids? Anyone have any good tips or ideas? Or do you just not leave them behind and plan every vacation as a family vacation?

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]]>Joanne LutynecSat, 09 Feb 2008 16:02:00 ESTPayback for teaching our kids how to cookhttp://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/04/payback-for-teaching-our-kids-how-to-cook/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/04/payback-for-teaching-our-kids-how-to-cook/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/02/04/payback-for-teaching-our-kids-how-to-cook/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

I've been booking a lot of extra hours at work lately due to staff shortages, and have been coming home exhausted and not at all inspired to make much in the way of dinner. Normally this wouldn't be too much of an issue - TV dinners or take out pizza have come to the rescue more than once in the past - but I've also been on my annual "get rid of the extra weight I packed on over Christmas" diet, so attempting to eat healthy makes this even more of a challenge.

I received a call from my 15-year old the other day as I was leaving work, asking when I would be home. This struck me as rather odd because she rarely calls me during the day, especially to check up on my schedule. I told her I'd be there in about half an hour, and my spidey-senses started tingling. Why does she want to know? What is she up to? What (or who) is she trying to hide?

As I walked in the door though, all my concerns vanished as the smell of something delicious drifted out of the kitchen. Ahh...she made me dinner! That explains why she wanted to know specifically when I'd be arriving home. Swallowing my guilt for assuming the worst, I walked into the dining room to find the table set, a glass of red wine poured, and a gorgeous assortment of food just waiting to be devoured.

Using lemon as a theme, she prepared pasta tossed with lemon & herb chicken, mixed vegetables seasoned with lemon pepper, and little smoked salmon rolls filled with just a touch of light cream cheese and lemon slices. The meal was absolutely delicious, especially since she kept my diet in mind and tried to make everything low in fat and as healthy as possible. As an added bonus, she also did all the dishes and completely cleaned the kitchen afterwards.

Though she did it primarily for fun as she loves to cook, it came as a very timely and much appreciated surprise. We often complain about the little things, or problems we have raising our kids, but every now and then they do something completely selfless that makes it all worthwhile.

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]]>Joanne LutynecMon, 04 Feb 2008 11:01:00 ESTPraying for warmer days. Sort of.http://www.parentdish.com/2008/01/30/praying-for-warmer-days-sort-of/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/01/30/praying-for-warmer-days-sort-of/http://www.parentdish.com/2008/01/30/praying-for-warmer-days-sort-of/#commentsFiled under: ,

When my daughter was little I always thought it would be great if our house was the one that all her friends came over to. That way I'd never have to worry about what they were doing, where they were, or what time they would be home. Though I still agree with that mentality in general, I never fully imagined what it would be like to have a house full of teenagers night after night, especially when the temperature drops below freezing outside and we are all somewhat stuck indoors.

In the Summer I rarely see my daughter or her friends. Even in the Spring and Fall they are often out wreaking havoc on the neighborhood. In the winter though, it is a whole different story. The same kids who were playing on the monkey bars just a few short years ago have suddenly morphed into unrecognizable young women and 6-ft tall young men. When I arrive at home, I almost have to look twice to see if it is my friends visiting or hers.

Since the weather where I live has been pushing -40 lately, the number of kids arriving at my house on a daily basis seems to be increasing exponentially. Between Guitar Hero, movies, and a fairly well-stocked kitchen, they have little trouble making themselves right at home, feeding themselves, and staying entertained. Gone are my evenings of sitting at the computer in peace or popping in a favorite movie while sipping on a glass of Shiraz. Even working from home over the Christmas holidays and semester break was virtually impossible just due to the ongoing noise.

Music - loud music - is constantly heard throughout each room, rivaled only by the sound of crashing footsteps on hardwood as they chase each other around the house. When the girls get together there is enough perfume in the air to choke a small horse, and when the boys are over, well...to be honest they are usually a little more quiet than the girls. Sometimes I retreat to my room with the laptop just to have a few moments of peace and quiet, but most of the time I find myself right in the midst of all the chaos.

A few days ago I found myself wishing for warmer days again so I could have back the things I miss - the house to myself, relaxing on the deck, watching a movie, or even eating popcorn for dinner. But after thinking about that for a little while I realized that even though I sometimes get mad over the noise or frustrated with the lack of privacy, when the warm weather returns what I'm really going to miss is them.

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]]>Joanne LutynecWed, 30 Jan 2008 13:02:00 ESTParent vs. Parent: Freewheeling parentinghttp://www.parentdish.com/2007/04/06/parent-vs-parent-freewheeling-parenting/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/04/06/parent-vs-parent-freewheeling-parenting/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/04/06/parent-vs-parent-freewheeling-parenting/#comments
Being a young mom, (for those of you who have been following along, you'll know I was 20 when I had my daughter - she will be 15 this year), I was essentially a kid with a kid. I had years of growing up to do myself, and she was along for the ride during that period of time while I figured out who I was. At times I felt hypocritical - do as I say, not as I do. Honestly, most of the time I really had no clue and just kind of winged it. Since I was a young (and single) parent, she probably had to grow up a little faster than some kids, but I raised her to be very self-sufficient and independent which fortunately works well with her personality type.

The reason I'm more "freewheeling" with her is because I've taught her how to make her own decisions and live with the consequences for the most part. This has turned out well for us because she actually asks me more questions / is more open with me than if I was too strict with her. As an example, when I don't give her a set curfew, she consistently chooses to get herself home at a reasonable time because it is the right thing to do, or because she has to be up early in the morning, etc. When I do give her a set curfew, she always seems to be late and in turn gets in trouble for breaking the rules.

She knows she will get in way more trouble by not telling me something than she would if she came to me and told me what she did wrong. I'm appreciative of the trust she has in me to be open and honest, because she doesn't fear getting in (as much) trouble as she would if I found out about it otherwise.

My main rules with her are simple, concise, and consistent. I have to know where she is at all times, that is why she has a cell phone. She is allowed to use any language she chooses around me, but around me only - others don't need to hear it. She is allowed to spend her own money (from her part-time job) any way she chooses, as long as it is age-appropriate and she can tell me how she spent it (complete with receipts) when I check in periodically. Finally, she is expected to be in school and do her homework and weekly chores, otherwise her time is basically her own - provided I know where she is and who she is with. I don't care if she eats her dinner on the couch while watching TV, I don't mind if she plays her music loud, and I don't care if she talks on the phone with her friends for hours at a time.

What it boils down to for me is that she is, for the most part, artistic, communicative, intelligent, and responsible, and though my style of parenting may not work for every child, she seems to thrive in it. At the end of the day, she knows what needs to be done, and as long as she is on top of that, polite to others, and continues to get good grades, the small things don't really bother me.

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]]>breaking the rulesfreewheelinglaid backparent vs. parentparentingParentVs.ParentJoanne LutynecFri, 06 Apr 2007 11:02:00 ESTParent vs. Parent: Single parentinghttp://www.parentdish.com/2007/04/04/parent-vs-parent-single-parenting/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/04/04/parent-vs-parent-single-parenting/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/04/04/parent-vs-parent-single-parenting/#commentsLike Sandy, I was a young, single parent. I had my daughter at 20, and she is now almost 15 years old. With help from friends and family we managed quite nicely for many years, or at least we appeared and felt that way on the surface. There were, of course, underlying issues on both my part and my daughter's, but I think that is to be expected within any family dynamic. More important than anything, she felt safe and loved, and I never felt as though I needed someone to help me take care of her and raise her, though I certainly appreciated all the help I got along the way.

When they say it takes a village to raise a child, it seems to me what a lot of people miss is that we create our own villages. We have the power to let certain people in and keep others out. It is up to us to responsibly choose who we allow to have power and control over our children. It took me a long time to find someone I trusted with that, though I did and eventually married, letting him into mine and my daughter's life. Though we have since separated, we still remain great friends. I think it is important to keep that connection, not only because I want to, but because I believe it is important for my daughter to see that the person that I did choose to bring into our lives and change our comfortable dynamic was someone that I truly liked as a person. Though he and I aren't together anymore, I want her to see that I can still have love and respect for him as a friend.

That said, I can't imagine going through the whole dating / marriage thing again any time soon. I have very little intention of bringing anyone else into my life until she is at least 18. The thought of going through the entire process is simply exhausting to me, especially since I am now the sole breadwinner again, not to mention dealing with the teenager she is and the young adult she is soon to become. Right now, I believe the best thing for her is to have a sense of consistency with our home life, even if that means having just one parental figure again. At her age, if I were to bring in someone else, I think that would be more detrimental than beneficial to her - especially if the relationship doesn't work out in the end.

Though I will never say never, I'm comfortable resigning to the fact that I may have to put that part of my life on hold for another few years. Is single parenthood ideal? Of course not, but in the meantime I know I can still count on those that I've let into my own personal "village" to help us out.

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]]>parent vs. parentsingle parentSingleParentJoanne LutynecWed, 04 Apr 2007 11:32:00 ESTFlavored Meth - targeting your kids?http://www.parentdish.com/2007/04/02/flavored-meth-targeting-your-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/04/02/flavored-meth-targeting-your-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/04/02/flavored-meth-targeting-your-kids/#commentsFiled under: , ,

In a frightening new twist on an already dangerous drug, the latest substance alert is definitely something parents should be aware of. Drug and law enforcement officials are warning that flavored methamphetamine is now being produced, and their target market is none other than our children. Nicknamed "strawberry-quick" and "chocolate-quick," strawberry and chocolate flavorings (among others) are apparently being added to meth at the end of the cooking process to ward off the chemical taste of the drug, without affecting the potency level.

Police are saying the drug resembles rock candy and has even been found colored bright pink, compressed into heart-shapes, and wrapped with shiny paper for Valentine's Day - all to enhance it's appeal to kids. They warn that even though it is sold appearing like "candy", the drug itself is no different than regular meth - it can be broken up into a powder and snorted, can be smoked, and can be re-liquified and injected. I'm not sure it gets much scarier than that.

(Thanks, Ann!)

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]]>chocolate quickdrugflavoringslaw enforcement officialsmethamphetaminestrawberry quickJoanne LutynecMon, 02 Apr 2007 09:02:00 EST