ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com/media/feedlogo.gif ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com en-us Copyright 2010 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Indian Village: My homework or yours?http://www.parentdish.com/2007/03/03/indian-village-my-homework-or-yours/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/03/03/indian-village-my-homework-or-yours/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/03/03/indian-village-my-homework-or-yours/#commentsFiled under: ,

Last Sunday night I woke up fretting. I tossed and I turned. No matter that Monday was a holiday and that I could sleep in as long as my kids would let me. No. I had a couple of big problems that had been vexing me all week, and they had finally reached critical mass.

Did the Gabrielino Indians use Spanish moss or willow leaves on their huts? Also: How the heck was I going to build a plank canoe out of Popsicle sticks?

My daughter is in the fourth-grade of a California public school, and like her peers, she has a mid-year project that involves learning about early California Indian tribes, culminating in the building of an "authentic" Indian village. We had about a month to gear up for this project. She did several in-class reports that helped her learn about her tribe, the Gabrielinos. She was also given a large piece of cardboard and two pieces of yarn. This, her teacher said, was help start her Indian Village. This is a major project, her teacher told the class. Make it good. It counts for a large percentage of your semester grade. Gulp.

My daughter fretted about this assignment for several weeks before melting down completely. So I stepped in to see what I could help with and found out what I probably should have realized all along: There's no way a normal 10-year-old can handle something like this without serious adult back-up. We had a lot of work to do.

I'm a writer. Put me in a library and leave me alone for six hours (or these days just leave me alone with Google) and what can't I find? And then I revert to my old newspaper reporter days. Let's go interview a Gabrielino elder! Let's go find the two sacred springs still in existence not far from here! My daughter, a bookworm, is apparently following in my footsteps. If this project were about writing a report, it would have been a cakewalk. A perfect grade guaranteed. You'd be able to publish that thing.

But this wasn't a written report. We needed to know just enough detail to differentiate this tribe from other local tribes. This project was more about building an authentic Indian Village and less about actual written information. This project called for craftiness. Not research. My kid's not crafty. I'm not crafty. To this very day I am unable to cut a neat circle or square out of construction paper.

I had to wonder: What's the point in this? To stress out Mom and/or Dad? Couldn't we have achieved the desired goal of learning about local Indians through reading and writing? Wouldn't they rather have an expertly-researched and well-written 25-page paper on the Gabrielino tribe? Please?

Nope. They were going to force me to Papier Mache tinfoil mountains in my kitchen and tacky glue little rocks together.

But apparently there's something to this idea of forced involvement that works. This was to be a family affair. So after three days of work, $60 spent at a craft store, several hours mitigating the efforts of the younger sib to make disproportional crockery and weapons, and an afternoon spent consulting with my Martha Stewart friend Audrey, and we had our Indian Village. My daughter made at least 60% of the artifacts and helped me glue them onto the board.

The best part? I'm so bad at crafts our village actually looks like a 10-year-old did the whole thing herself.

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]]>Julie TilsnerSat, 03 Mar 2007 09:00:00 ESTNot Harry Potter: Reading other kids' books from Englandhttp://www.parentdish.com/2007/03/02/not-harry-potter-reading-other-kids-books-from-england/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/03/02/not-harry-potter-reading-other-kids-books-from-england/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/03/02/not-harry-potter-reading-other-kids-books-from-england/#commentsFiled under: ,

Of course Harry Potter. That's the definitive children's literary import from England, well known even to those who don't read.

But I want to hip you to a few lesser known gems from the across the pond. My kids' father, Luke, is English, which means my kids have a set of grandparents (two sets, actually), a great-grandmother, and various aunts and uncles with an interest in their reading.

The Tiger Who Came to Tea (By Judith Kerr, 1968 Collins Picture Lions, [HarperCollins,] London). One of Luke's favorite books growing up. A darling story for the 2-6 set. Sophie and her Mummy are just sitting down to tea when they hear a knock on the door. It's a huge tiger! He asks if he can join them for tea, and then proceeds to not only gobble down the tea luncheon, but all the food and drink in the house! Now there's no dinner for Daddy. Oh no! Daddy gets home from work and has a solution: Let's go down to the cafe for dinner. They do, and the next morning Mummy goes to buy new groceries, and Sophie daydreams about the Tiger. Will he ever return? He never does.

"I always loved the idea that they dressed up and got to go to a cafe for dinner," says Luke. "It seemed so exciting when was little."

This book has been a best-seller for more than 30 years now. And for good reason. Check it (and its recommendations) on Amazon.com/UK.

Now we are Six (By A.A. Milne; 1927, Methuen Children's Books, Methuen & Co., London) -- No thanks to Disney, Americans have an acquaintance with a Winnie the Pooh that bears little resemblance to the original A.A. Milne character. This is a volume of poetry written by Milne, who also wrote Winne-the-Pooh and the House at Pooh Corner. (He also has another volume of poetry, When we Were Very Young.) This is a book of very charming, very clever poetry for little ones. I know. Yes, it's dated and quaint, and yes, poetry and American kids don't seem like a natural fit, but I've found that kids will quiet down and listen if read to outloud. Here's a very small sample:

A Thought
If I were John and John were me,
Then he'd be six and I'd be three.
If John were me and I were John,
I shouldn't have these trousers on.

Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh appear throughout as well. Our copy has an inscription from my daughter's great grandmother, so it's extra special.

Dogger (Shirley Hughes, 1993, Red Fox, London) -- An absolutely wonderful story set in an English town about a little boy, Dave, and what happens when he loses his little stuffed dog. Many heartwarming lessons are learned about family and responsibility. Always chokes me up. My kids demanded repeated readings.

I'm realizing that there are far too many good books to recommend! Stay tuned for another round of favorite kids' books. Not necessarily from England though.

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]]>booksEnglandgetting kids to readGettingKidsToReadkids and readingKidsAndReadingJulie TilsnerFri, 02 Mar 2007 14:40:00 ESTNew study shows circumcision reduces AIDS rateshttp://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/28/new-study-shows-circumcision-reduces-aids-rates/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/28/new-study-shows-circumcision-reduces-aids-rates/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/28/new-study-shows-circumcision-reduces-aids-rates/#commentsFiled under: , ,

The decision to circumcise or not just got trickier. According to report earlier this month in the journal Lancet, a study conducted by the United States National Institutes of Health concludes that circumcised males are more than 50% less likely to contract the AIDS virus than their uncut brothers.

This on the heals of a report in the November issue of Pediatrics, the results of a 25-year study show that circumcised males are less susceptible to STDs.

Circumcision used to be the norm in American hospitals, but has been on the decline for at least 20 years as its medical benefit has been questioned and ties to cultural traditions (Jewish, Muslim) have loosened. These new studies certainly shift the ball back into the "pro-" court.

How about you? Did you have your baby boy circumcised? Why or why not?

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]]>circumcisionJulie TilsnerWed, 28 Feb 2007 16:00:00 ESTThe Junior League gets involved in child obesityhttp://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/21/the-junior-league-gets-involved-in-child-obesity/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/21/the-junior-league-gets-involved-in-child-obesity/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/21/the-junior-league-gets-involved-in-child-obesity/#commentsFiled under:

Quick! What's the first thing you think of when you think of the Junior League? Ladies who Lunch? Cookbooks? How about an organization that promotes healthy eating among kids?

Although it's not new (the Junior League has been working to combat the growing concern over childhood obesity for two years now), the effort is being kicked into high-gear for March, which is National Nutrition Month in the U.S. and Canada.

Local leagues will work to increase awareness of healthy eating habits in communities around the country. Check out the Kids in the Kitchen website, which features kid-friendly recipes from various TV and music stars, as well as game and quizzes.

The Junior League, which started in New York City in 1901, has been involved in family nutrition for more than 100 years, although for most of those years the problem was more getting enough to eat. Today are are almost 170,000 Junior League members in 293 Junior Leagues in four countries.

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]]>childhood obesityChildhoodObesityJunior LeagueJuniorLeaguekids and nutritionKidsAndNutritionJulie TilsnerWed, 21 Feb 2007 17:30:00 ESTThe richer the country the worse off the kidhttp://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/15/the-richer-the-country-the-worse-off-the-kid/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/15/the-richer-the-country-the-worse-off-the-kid/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/15/the-richer-the-country-the-worse-off-the-kid/#commentsFiled under: ,

No doubt you've heard all about the UNICEF report by now. The one that ranks Britain and the U.S. as the worst places for children out of more than 20 developed nations. As always, these kinds of studies generate a lot of press, even though the methodology is a little suspect, and, as always, the findings too generalized to be of any real use.

But the one aspect I did find interesting: Richer countries weren't necessarily the best places for children. Why not? Because in general more money means more time spent in pursuit of money and less time spent with the kids. In other words, buying your kids all the latest stuff is not a substitute for simply hanging out with them.

We all know this old chestnut, right? But do we? Take a look at our affluent culture. Here in the United States, anyway, our ambitious, materialistic, every-man-for-himself thinking almost guarantees that spending time with the children will be undervalued.

This is why stay-at-home moms get such a dismissive rap. How dare we waste our education and stay at home doing "nothing" when we should be out in the workforce making money and buying bigger and better stuff. Why, it's downright UnAmerican.

I hate this thinking. I can't see anything more important than raising two happy, well-adjusted, productive future citizens, so I do it for free, thank you. And none of us need any more stuff. Ever see that bumper sticker that reads: "The best things in life aren't things?"

Any report that comes along to further make this point has my blessings.

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]]>Julie TilsnerThu, 15 Feb 2007 17:03:00 ESTStarch: It's what's for dinnerhttp://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/14/starch-its-whats-for-dinner/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/14/starch-its-whats-for-dinner/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/14/starch-its-whats-for-dinner/#commentsFiled under:

The other day I decided to make Mac & Cheese. Not the orange stuff out of a box, but the real, baked cheese over pasta dish that would satisfy my soul on a cold, winter's day. My kids would love it too, I reasoned, because after all, pasta, cheese...what's not to love?

So I cooked the noodles and grated the cheese. I made the sauce, threw it all in a baking dish and into the oven it went. As the delicious aroma of warm comfort food from Mom's oven filled the kitchen, my six-year-old son walked in.

"Eeew!! What's that smell?"

Predictably, it got worse from there. My kids wouldn't touch it. Why? They didn't recognize a mac and cheese that wasn't dayglo orange and didn't come in neat little elbow macaroni shapes. No matter that it was rigatoni pasta with *real* cheese and breadcrumbs on top. Never mind that it put the boxed stuff to shame in terms of taste and nutritional value. No matter that I actually made the effort to make it for them. They were uninterested. I ate their two potions myself while they filled themselves up on bread, per usual.

I should have known better than to cook anything special for my kids. The merits of the home-made over instant is utterly lost on them. I keep trying because I want to expose them to something better, and because I want them to expand their horizons, darn it!

I remember both my kids eating everything placed before them with gusto, until, mysteriously, their third birthdays. Then they stopped eating anything that wasn't starch-based. Pasta. Bread. Rice. What happened?

My ten year old daughter may be emerging finally from this gastronomical myopia. She'll eat my home made chicken "no-no" soup. She'll eat my tortilla Espanola (which really is just eggs and potato). Usually she'll insist on some kind of tomato sauce on her pasta. I have hopes for her culinary future.

But the six-year old boy? Dino nuggets or pasta or a PB&J. That's it.

I'd love to hear from some of our BloggingBaby readers. What do you make for your kids every night? Do they eat it?

And if so, can you send me the recipes?

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]]>chicken noodle soupChickenNoodleSoupcookingfoodmacaroni and cheeseMacaroniAndCheeseJulie TilsnerWed, 14 Feb 2007 10:30:00 ESTClassy Mommy: Just Be Cause...http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/13/classy-mommy-just-be-cause/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/13/classy-mommy-just-be-cause/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/13/classy-mommy-just-be-cause/#commentsFiled under: ,

I like neato mommy stuff as much as the next mom. But there is a lot of it out there. Way more, it seems, than there was just 10 years ago, back when I had my first baby. And way, way more than any mom has time to go through, in any case.

Fortunately, there are lots of sites out there dedicated to sorting through the best of that stuff. Lots of sites to help you decide what's the coolest, cutest, funniest or most appropriate for the baby shower.

Ah, but here's a site with a little something extra. ClassyMommy not only lists a whole host of yummy-looking products for mom and baby, but it donates earnings from sales made from its partner sites.
"Wired moms command $1.7 trillion in marketing spending," says ClassyMommy founder Colleen Padilla. "When you buy something online, somebody is getting a commission from your purchase, anywhere from 4%-15% of the total price you pay. I thought it would be great if we could direct some of those dollars to important charities out there."

What are those important charities? Charities that benefit women and children, of course. These include Save the Children and Project Peanut Butter. Classy Mommy donates 100% of affiliate marketing revenue to these charities.

That would make me feel a little bit better about blowing $200 for that Kate Spade diaper bag,which, of course I don't need now (thank God Kate hadn't launched her line back when I did need a diaper bag!) But that wooden sushi set....now that looks kinda fun. Check out the site and use your mommy dollars to help some worthwhile charities!



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]]>Julie TilsnerTue, 13 Feb 2007 11:00:00 ESTIs there hope for Dannielynn?http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/08/is-there-hope-for-dannielynn/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/08/is-there-hope-for-dannielynn/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/02/08/is-there-hope-for-dannielynn/#commentsFiled under: , ,

They're already comparing Anna Nicole Smith to Marilyn Monroe. I don't know how accurate that is. But both women were blond bombshells and both were tragic examples of how the media eats its own.

But one glaring difference: Marilyn didn't leave any children behind.

Upon hearing about Anna Nicole's death today, the first thing I thought about was her five month old daughter, Dannielynn Hope. Who's going to raise her, and how will she be raised -- meaning: Does this baby girl get a chance at a normal childhood out of the media glare now that her infamous mother has left the building?

Already there's a paternity suit -- imagine, two men fighting over which one of them fathered the child, and according to Celebrity Baby Blog and CNN, one of the two contenders, Larry Birkhead, has filed an emergency custody order for the child. Sorry to be such a terrible cynic, but I have to wonder which of these two men want the baby out of paternal love and not for the celebrity (and attendant dollars) she'll bring.

The whole story is made more tragic because this poor child's entire family has fallen victim to the glare of infamy. Her 20-year-old brother died days after she was born, due to a toxic mix of anti-depressants and methadone. I remember a younger Daniel defending his mom's low-brow Anna Nicole Smith Show on the E! channel. He didn't get the chance at a normal childhood of any kind. Now her mother has died, too. It's all just too sad.

But there's a glimmer of hope. With any luck Dannielynn has a shot of a regular childhood outside of the limelight. Maybe the real father, whoever he is, will get custody and take her far away and let her grow up with dolls and grubby jeans and backyard swings. Less affluence and glam, more security and love. Maybe once this media frenzy dies down this baby girl will be able to grow up in obscurity and get the self-esteem she needs to not follow in her mother's sordid footsteps. Maybe she'll grow up with a healthier female role model.

If that happens for little Dannielynn, then there's hope for her future after all.

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]]>Anna Nicole SmithAnnaNicoleSmithDannielynn SmithDannielynnSmithJulie TilsnerThu, 08 Feb 2007 19:40:00 ESTInfect your home with Giant Microbeshttp://www.parentdish.com/2007/01/21/infect-your-home-with-giant-microbes/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/01/21/infect-your-home-with-giant-microbes/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/01/21/infect-your-home-with-giant-microbes/#commentsFiled under:

File under: Most seasonally appropriate toy. Leave it to those Brits at Firebox.com to come up with such batty delights as stuffed giant microbes.

Since just about everyone I know is sick with a cold or the flu right now, I have to admit I find these plush toys irresistible. They're cute. Colorful. And c'mon. How many giant microbes does your kid have on their bed?

I mean the stuffed kind, silly.

I feel a virulent attack of online shopping coming on. My six-year-old son is standing over my shoulder *begging* for a Stomach Ache as I write this. My daughter wants Bad Breath.

I sorta like the Kissing Disease myself.

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]]>Julie TilsnerSun, 21 Jan 2007 10:25:00 ESTBecks and Posh in L.A.! The world's highest profile soccer dadhttp://www.parentdish.com/2007/01/13/becks-and-posh-in-l-a-the-worlds-highest-profile-soccer-dad/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/01/13/becks-and-posh-in-l-a-the-worlds-highest-profile-soccer-dad/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/01/13/becks-and-posh-in-l-a-the-worlds-highest-profile-soccer-dad/#commentsOy!...I mean, dude! Becks and Posh are moving to Los Angeles!

Major League Soccer lured English Footballer (that's "soccer" player to you non-Anglophile Yanks) David Beckham to the Los Angeles team The Galaxy with a five year contract potentially worth some $250 million. Becks, as he is affectionately known around the world, will finish out his season with team Real Madrid in Spain before packing up his cleats and moving to the Left Coast.

His wife, the former Spice Girl known as "Posh" (real name Victoria) and their three sons, Brooklyn, 7, Romeo, 4 and wee Cruz, almost 2, will move out in July or August of this year.

Some would argue that the last thing L.A. needs is another celebrity couple with kids, but in a sense it's the obvious place for such a family. Hounded by crowds and paparazzi wherever they go, the BeckPosh's are moving to a place where they know how to do celebrity. Los Angeles after all, is Celebrity Ground Zero.

Continue reading Becks and Posh in L.A.! The world's highest profile soccer dad

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]]>Julie TilsnerSat, 13 Jan 2007 13:10:00 ESTWhen toddlers escape: Bad mom or neglect?http://www.parentdish.com/2007/01/04/when-toddlers-escape-bad-mom-or-neglect/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/01/04/when-toddlers-escape-bad-mom-or-neglect/http://www.parentdish.com/2007/01/04/when-toddlers-escape-bad-mom-or-neglect/#comments
One afternoon about four years ago, I sat in my kitchen drinking coffee with a neighbor when I heard a knock on the door. It was another neighbor. She had my 20-month-old son in her arms.

"I found him downstairs across the street," she said.

Apparently Jack had climbed over the child-safety gate blocking our outside balcony, walked downstairs and headed for the park across the street of our University Family Housing complex.

"When I asked him where you were he pointed upstairs," said my neighbor. "So I thought I should bring him back home."

Talk about a Bad Mommy Moment.

Continue reading When toddlers escape: Bad mom or neglect?

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]]>Julie TilsnerThu, 04 Jan 2007 18:02:00 ESTThe Muppets tackle war's hidden casualties: The kids left behindhttp://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/27/the-muppets-tackle-wars-hidden-casualties-the-kids-left-behind/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/27/the-muppets-tackle-wars-hidden-casualties-the-kids-left-behind/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/27/the-muppets-tackle-wars-hidden-casualties-the-kids-left-behind/#commentsFiled under:

Whether you're for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan or against them, we all have to agree on one thing: War is hell on military families.

Bad enough the financial and emotional carnage left beyond when a Mom or Dad deploys. What about the kids?

Leave it to PBS to address their unique needs. In a new 30-minute show called "When Parents are Deployed," premiering tonight on PBS stations around the country. The show is hosted by Cuba Gooding Jr.

The show both addresses children's' emotions when a parent is deployed and also offers practical advice and guidelines for keeping family ties strong during the tour of duty. According to the show's creators, some 700,000 children under 5 will have a parent shipped overseas for military work -- the largest number since World War II.

The project stems from a successful video on the same topic made by the Sesame Street Workshop and funded by Wal-Mart. So many were distributed that it was decided to do a TV program on the topic, addressed to parents.

"I think it's incredibly important that the public broadcasting system chose to air it," said Charles Bolden, a 35-year Marine Corp veteran who served as one of the military and medical advisers to Sesame Street on the project. "The story that is told is one that the vast majority of Americans don't have a clue about," he said.

In newspaper interviews, Bolden points out that there's a huge disconnect between families with members in the military and families without. It's a huge disconnect in America, he said. Almost like two different societies. He's absolutely right. And no matter where you stand on the political spectrum, you can't deny these family's pain and the terror these kids go through. We should all know about it and do what we can to help.

One glaring omission: There's no talk in the show about what's uppermost on every child's minds when a parent is deployed. What happens if they don't come back?

Seems a bit obvious, but also a lot of fodder for a separate show. Start talking about casualties and it starts bringing into question all sorts of ugly political and moral questions. Not surprising that PBS doesn't want to open that particular can of worms.

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]]>PBSJulie TilsnerWed, 27 Dec 2006 19:20:00 ESTMommy makeovershttp://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/27/mommy-makeovers/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/27/mommy-makeovers/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/27/mommy-makeovers/#commentsFiled under: ,

If you had a baby in the last year, I have a question for you: When was the last time you changed your sweatpants?

We all know about new-mom chic - the clogs, the ponytail, the same sweatpants we've worn for the last week. Sure we'd all like to look nice but who's got the time or brain cells.

The folks at iVillage.com have a new promotion up - send them your picture and your story and tell them why you'd love a makeover and maybe you'll win the chance to get a new mommy makeover on the Today Show sometime in January.

Women's magazines (and now websites) abound in the makeover feature. Because even if we're not Cosmo girls, who among us doesn't fantasize about what we'd look like if a dozen beauty professionals had their way with us for an hour?

A few years ago, Jamie Lee Curtis created great buzz when she let herself be photographed as she looked in the morning - pretty much like the rest of us 40-something mommies -- and juxtaposed it with what she looks like after the stylists and make-up people are done with her: Jamie Lee Curtis the movie star. She's gone on record decrying the Hollywood beauty myth. I applaud her for this -- but then she's known to be down-to-earth. Still, she gets to glam up regularly. Because after all, she's a mom, but she's still also a celebrity.

A mommy makeover: it would be fun, sure. But let's get real: how long would the great hair and fabulous clothes last in a household with small children? And who's got time to keep their eyebrows plucked when juggling jobs and kids and households and pets? Only the professionals.

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]]>Julie TilsnerWed, 27 Dec 2006 19:00:00 ESTNintendo uses "Alpha Moms" to pitch some Wiihttp://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/26/nintendo-uses-alpha-moms-to-pitch-some-wii/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/26/nintendo-uses-alpha-moms-to-pitch-some-wii/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/26/nintendo-uses-alpha-moms-to-pitch-some-wii/#commentsIn an effort to spread the word about the Wii (pronounced "whee"), its next-generation wireless video game console, Nintendo has launched a number of marketing ploys to get the game into the hands of its "non-core" audience, that is, folks who aren't normally gamers. And who's less likely to be a gamer than a busy mom?
Ah, but Nintendo is cleverly tapping into the powerful mom network. In several large cities it's hired a number of what it calls "Alpha Moms" who were identified as influential in their communities, to try the gaming system for themselves - and then spread the word.
Linda Perry, the mom tapped to pitch the Wii in Los Angeles, invited her large network of local moms to a "come out and play" night at the tony Chateau Marmont. "Most people were like, I don't play games," the 41-year-old mom from Venice Beach told the Los Angeles Times. "But by the end of the night, everybody was playing it."
Smart marketing on Nintendo's part: Moms influence 80 percent of household purchases. Marketers also know that moms are expert networkers -- and their word-of-mouth recommendations can make or break a product.
We're not too bad at hand-eye coordination, either.

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]]>Julie TilsnerTue, 26 Dec 2006 10:30:00 ESTToddler foot fetish? That's a Crochttp://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/24/toddler-foot-fetish-thats-a-croc/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/24/toddler-foot-fetish-thats-a-croc/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/24/toddler-foot-fetish-thats-a-croc/#comments

A lot has changed since I had toddlers. Crocs, for example. These brightly-colored plastic clog-like shoes are everywhere now, it seems. And all I can think of is Dang! Where were these when my nits were toddlers?

I spent a lot of wasted effort trying to get my daughter into footwear she didn't deem appropriate. So what if it was a pink tennis shoe with cartoon characters on it that I thought she should like. She had her own ideas of what to wear. Often these ideas were unseasonable and impractical. Such as wearing flip-flops AND tights in February when it was raining. Sometimes she wanted to wear two separate shoes. Sometimes she wanted two left shoes. Different styles.

Efforts to reason with her were met with, ah, resistance.

I complained about the morning trauma of finding appropriate footwear for my toddler once in earshot of a group of parents and was promptly set straight. Fantastical footwear. It was just a toddler thing. Don't try to fight it. It was universal.

Once I realized that all toddlers had a footwear fetish, my life was made that much easier. I sought out the garish, the slip-on, or optimally, a shoe that embodied both characteristics. Annie was in her pink rain boot phase when we happened upon the Dorothy shoe and never looked back. You know the Dorothy shoe don't you? They must still make them: Mary Janes covered in red glitter. The dream shoe of every girl between the ages of 2 and 5. My daughter must have had five consecutive pairs before she lost interest in them. They were the only shoe she wore for several years before kindergarten.

My son, thankfully, didn't take to the Dorothy shoe (and had he, you know, I'd have rolled with it...I think...). No, he preferred to spend his toddler years shod in a pair of green froggy rain boots.

Of course now that they're both well out of the toddler foot fetish years, I've started noticing a shoe the would have loved, a shoe that would have made my life a lot easier.

Like ants, once you see one, you suddenly see thousands. And so it was with Crocs. Last summer I noticed two tow-headed little boys in shorts and these delightful, brightly-colored plastic clogs. They were jumping around and chasing each other as little kids do, yet the clogs stayed fast. So stylish, yet so functional. Whimsy plus utility. Where was I -- Denmark?

Suddenly I started noticing them everywhere. On everyone.

What started out as a lark by three middle-aged business guys turned almost overnight into another American success story thanks to a savvy business strategy. But a million parents lining up to buy their toddlers a pair or three didn't hurt, either.

Kid trends can make big money. Just ask the publishing industry (Hullo, Harry). So it's little wonder Crocs were an instant hit. They come in more than a dozen bright colors. You can slip them on. They're comfortable. They're waterproof!

They couldn't have designer a better shoe for toddlers if they'd tried. Which they didn't.

That's why today there's probably not a kid under five who can't be seen trotting along in a brightly colored pair of these comfy shoes ... trailed closely by a mom or dad shod in their own.

Crocs, Inc., based in Colorado, went from $1 million in revenue in 2003 to a projected $322 million this year. Its February IPO (Initial public offering) gave the footwear maker a market cap of $1 billion. That's a lot of money for a company that started out making boat shoes.

But it took more than a parenting trend to put Crocs on the big boy map. In 2003 the company was doing $1 million in business -- not bad considering sales were largely driven through word of mouth. Then the founders hired an old college chum who knew what he was doing, who helped them grow the company to the next level. In 2004 the company bought the Canadian business that manufactured Crocs and owned the rights to the resin that gave the shoes their particular comfort and odor resistance -- called Croslite. Now the company owned the means of production, which means they can easily shift direction and create new styles as dictated by the whims of fashion.

It's not just American tots who love Crocs, either. International sales drove the company to record revenues and now accounts for some 30% of its business. For example, one in six Israelis owns a pair. The company says it's on board to sell some 20 million pairs of shoes this year. That's no Croc.

In the meantime, Crocs is marketing on its trendy success -- it's opening a giant store in New York City's uber-hip SoHo district, and is branching out into corporate branding, making special Crocs for companies like Google, Walt Disney, and the L.A. Lakers.

Of course, three-year-olds or their parents don't care about any of this. As long as their bright red clogs are in the living room where they left them last night. As long as there are no shoe-related tantrums in the morning.

And I'm left wondering if my now tween-aged daughter might agree to wear a purple pair (and if not, maybe I'll just wear them instead...)

Merry Christmas Everyone! May you find the Crocs of your choice underneath the tree this morning!

Julie Tilsner, a mom of two and contributing editor for Parenting Magazine, is the author, most recently, of Mommy Yoga: The 50 Stretches of Motherhood.

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]]>Tilsner ReportTilsnerReportJulie TilsnerSun, 24 Dec 2006 10:00:00 ESTFive financial resolutions for parents in the new yearhttp://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/23/five-financial-resolutions-for-parents-in-the-new-year/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/23/five-financial-resolutions-for-parents-in-the-new-year/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/23/five-financial-resolutions-for-parents-in-the-new-year/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Another year come and gone? It really does go by faster once you become a parent. Before 2007 comes and goes too, resolve to sit down and take some smart financial steps that will put you a little ahead of the game, no matter how time flies. Because as you've probably already noticed, the future will be here before you know it. Read a similar piece on Yahoo! for more detailed information.

The Game of Life: Life insurance? A topic that probably never entered your mind before you became a parent. Now, however, it makes sense. Consider this: If the worst happened, would you want the ones left behind to have to worry about making the car payment? A good life insurance policy will help your survivors get back on their feet. Don't wait another year to get a policy for you and your family.

Bring out the Gimp: Again with the planning for the worst. But it's simply prudent to be prepared now that you have people depending on you. Getting yourself disability insurance is a small investment now that could pay big should you ever find yourself unable to work. Shop around and find the plan that works best for you. Monthly premiums can be surprisingly low.

Will you or won't you?: Death happens. Yes, even to young, healthy families. Nobody wants to think the unthinkable, but it's important for you to have a will that legally lays out your estate and wishes should the unthinkable ever happen. Even if you have no assets to pass down, a will enables you to decide who will raise your child in the event you can not. And there's not a lot in life more important than that. If you can't afford an attorney to write one up for you, there are several good do-it-yourself resources out there, such as Nolo Press.

Not...the Comfy Chair! - Retirement. It sneaks up on you. Especially after you have kids and you're busy paying for after-school art classes and soccer uniforms. But kids tend to grow up and leave you to your own devices after two quick decades...and then what? Saving for those empty-nest years shouldn't be an afterthought, unless you like the idea of living in your grown kids' back room in your elder years.

The Old College Try: They say a journey of a thousand steps starts with the first, and so it is with saving for college tuition. Yes, it might seem futile, given that the cost of a college education will have probably tripled again by the time our 2-year-old is 18, but you have to start somewhere. Start in 2007. All the information you'll need to decide how to save can be found online. Try starting on AOL's money and finance page.

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]]>Julie TilsnerSat, 23 Dec 2006 09:30:00 ESTMerry...whateverhttp://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/14/merry-whatever/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/14/merry-whatever/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/14/merry-whatever/#comments

I was going to be one kind of parent back in 1996, when I was pregnant with my first kid. I was going to be financially stable and have a house of my own and be happily married and have matching dinnerware, maybe even a family dog. I'd have figured out all the big questions: Attachment parenting or Ferber. Breast or bottle. Disposable or cloth.

And the religion thing. I'd have that nailed down, too. I would figure out what exactly I believed in versus what I could stomach, and finally, what sort of holiday traditions we would practice in the home. In the 15 years between between leaving my mother's house and becoming a mother myself I'd let my every holiday tradition lapse. But no longer! I would reform! I told myself then. I would pick a holiday tradition and stick with it so my children could have their own fond holiday memories to cherish or not.

Fast forward ten years. I have matching dinnerware.

Making slow progress on the holiday tradition thing too. I think. Presuming kids are as adaptive as they're reputed to be, I may be OK.

Join me on the therapists' couch, won't you?

I was raised by a nice Lutheran boy and a good Catholic girl who were both threatened with excommunication if they married. They did anyway, and my life as an "anything goes" spiritual quester began soon thereafter. I went to Catholic school for a while, learned how to say a Rosary. Then my parents turned on and tuned out. Dad got into EST, mom got into her career. And the subject of religion was summarily dropped.

We had Christmas, sure, with trees and ornaments and presents. But it was clear early on that the holiday didn't have anything to do with religion. Early in college I took a Philosophy of Religions course and almost came to blows with a Born-Again Christian who assured me that I was bound for hell because my religious beliefs were not the right ones. I threw up my hands and said to Hell with all of it. Ten years later I converted to Judaism.

So far so good. Judaism is open-minded. You can question all you want. Just believe. Sounds good to me.

But as you can see, I'm still a bit conflicted. Obviously I don't know where I stand on religion. All I know is this: I think it's important to raise kids with some of it. Your choice. So at least the kids have some framework of morality to refer back to. Something to hold in the background and use as guidance and comfort when life intervenes with weddings, births, funerals and the cancer wards in between. A sense of community doesn't hurt either.

Anyway, becoming a member of the Tribe turned out to be an excellent excuse for opting out of the holiday consumer orgy. Coupled with no network TV reception meant that for several years when my children were very small I escaped the whole jolly ball of noise foisted upon us from the day after Thanksgiving until the day of the Rose Bowl parade. I could ignore the screaming and constant din to BUY SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE ON MY LIST! with nary a worry that there were ONLY FIVE SHOPPING DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS! What about celebrating Hanukkah? Naw. It's not even a major holiday.

Of course, that didn't stop the parade of presents from two sets of grandparents arriving in the mail. And every holiday party we went to included Santa Claus's and candy canes and Christmas songs.

As my kids got older, they started hipping in. Commercial Christmas is a powerful temptress, you know. Those songs are pretty catchy. And the bright lights and colorful decorations and candy and stockings filled with toys...it's all extremely intoxicating to children. And because they haven't yet perfected their critical thinking skills or wry bitterness (I'm working on that), they started agitating. "Look at the lights!" they cried, pointing to neighboring houses and product displays at Walgreen's. "They're so beautiful!" or, "Why can't we have some decorations at our house, Mommy? Why doesn't Santa come to our house? Can't we please have a tree? Mommy, why can't we put some beautiful lights on our house?"

Oy. They were now old enough to demand a tradition.

Nothing like the holiday season to make you question all your beliefs and traditions. What is it I did want for my kids anyway? What was more important? Cultural traditions or spiritual beliefs? I tell them about God. I just don't get specific. Finally, after much thinking and gnashing of teeth, I fell back on the one tradition I've always held dear: I did whatever worked.

Last year I caved in and agreed to bring home a Hanukkah Bush. "As distinct from a Christmas Tree!" I told myself. It would be no higher than four feet. And it would be decorated with ONLY blue and white. We would light the Menorah and sing the prescribed songs. I would attempt latkes, the traditional fried potato cakes you make on Hanukkah. There would be SMALL gifts on each of the eight days of Hanukkah, and nothing more. I even made little Hanukkah bags for each child, in lieu of stockings to hang over the chimney with care.

The kids, being kids, were thrilled with the spectacle.

And, not surprisingly, the space underneath the bush filled up with presents. From both sets of grandparents, from their father, from friends and neighbors, and finally, reluctantly, from me. Because old traditions are harder to kill than you'd think.

This year was ever nicer. Year two with a Hanukkah Bush. This one is almost 6 feet tall. Still blue and white, but with a few school-made ornaments. Last night the grandparents were over and helped us decorate the bush, and Annie sat down at the piano to play her rousing rendition of Jingle Bells. We actually all broke into song. Gifts were exchanged and cookies consumed. Tomorrow is the first night of Hanukkah and, God willing, my latkes will turn out edible and we'll eat them with apple sauce. So far, it's been a surprisingly lovely holiday season.

What do we believe in? What do we celebrate? I have no idea. We celebrate our family. Merry Whatever. Now go get some more eggnog.

Julie Tilsner is a Contributing Editor for Parenting Magazine and the author of, most recently, "Mommy Yoga: The 50 Stretches of Motherhood." Visit her at Julietilsner.com and check out her blog, Bad Home Cooking, if you want to know how her latkes turned out.

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]]>ChristmasHanukkahThe Tilsner ReportTheTilsnerReporttraditionJulie TilsnerThu, 14 Dec 2006 21:00:00 ESTKill your TV. OK, just your cable.http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/01/kill-your-tv-ok-just-your-cable/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/01/kill-your-tv-ok-just-your-cable/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/12/01/kill-your-tv-ok-just-your-cable/#comments

In 1969 my mother and her friends sat me down in front of our TV set to watch a new kids' show called Sesame Street. As a five year old, I was the target audience. I recall pouting at first because it wasn't all in cartoons, and because the gritty, New York-style street didn't look anything like my suburban Los Angeles col-de-sac. But I liked the songs, and Kermit was cute enough. But then a huge, bald man appeared on the screen and commenced counting to ten in his low, bass voice. I ran screaming from the room.

My relationship with TV improved. By the time I was seven, I could recite the Prime-Time line-up by memory: The Brady Bunch. Happy Days. Welcome Back, Kotter. The Love Boat, Fantasy Island. I did some of my best bonding with my father over shows like Monty Python's Flying Circus, Soap, and, very early on, Laugh-In, which he let me stay up late to watch, and which I understood virtually none of. But if my dad laughed, then it was good enough for me.

My parents can remember a time without TV, but I can't. I'm the original Scooby-Doo generation. I spent all Saturday in front of the tube. My impressionable eyes saw the first moon-walk, the pull-out from Vietnam, the Watergate hearings. I remember when the NBC Peacock went color full time. I was 16 when MTV was invented and I got my Pat Benetar without a commercial break after every video. I grew up marinating in jingles and laugh-tracks.

So it's not like you could call me an elitist snob when I tell you I don't watch TV these days and I don't let my kids watch it, either.

That sounds bad, doesn't it? Let me rephrase that: I strictly regulate when and what they watch.

I'm not the Amish. Of course I have a TV. And a VCR/DVD player. And a whole shelf of DVDs. What I don't have is cable, nor the ability to pick up any commercial channels. Nor the desire to listen to the bleating idiot box all day long.

Somehow, from a childhood spent planted in front of the boob tube, I became an anti-TV zealot. I want to control the content and when it's consumed. I don't allow the TV to even be turned on unless it's dark out. TV during daylight hours is an abomination to me. My kids will never had a TV in their own room. There is too much else to do if you're a kid: Ride your scooters. Read a book. Make toothpaste soup in the backyard. Kills yourselves and trash the house. Just don't turn on that box until I say it's OK.

Like when the kids are too wound up before dinner, for example. Believe me, nobody knows the value of a well-timed video or DVD better than I do. Dinner time rolls around and I'm only too happy for the nits to have their attention distracted as I'm heating up the ol' fish sticks. But after dinner there's homework and the obligatory wrestling match on the living room floor,and then there's the whole drawn-out bedtime routine, which usually demands the reading of books or the drawing of robots, and where, I ask you, does TV fit into that kind of schedule?

Saturday mornings? They don't even think to ask. That's the beauty of being the only household in America that doesn't have cable. There's nothing on there but snow. They may not even realize there's commercial TV.

Obviously I'm not the parent who's going to buy an SUV with a DVD player in the back. To me that's just part of the ongoing conspiracy to turn the next generation of Americans into unthinking sheep-like consumers. Not my kids. They have to suffer through long drives with only their books, coloring pads and whatever daydreams they can concoct to the music I'm listening to. Poor dears.

People seem to think this is some kind of radical parenting tact. It's not. I see it as more a protective sort of thing. As in: I want to protect my kids from the uglier elements of American culture until they're old enough to deconstruct it for themselves. They just don't need to know about Britney Spears, Judge Judy, CSI, Survivor or the latest freeway chase on the local news channel. I don't want them growing up with a rock star mentality.

Am I a control freak? Maybe a little. I know I can control the environment my kids grow up in until a point, maybe in junior high school, and then I'll lose it. That's coming up soon in the case of my daughter. She's already playing games on the internet and widening her world. My hope is I'll have given her a quiet yet expansive media-free space in which to find herself in.


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]]>Julie TilsnerFri, 01 Dec 2006 14:00:00 ESTAbout the bloggers: Julie Tilsnerhttp://www.parentdish.com/2006/11/26/about-the-bloggers-julie-tilsner/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/11/26/about-the-bloggers-julie-tilsner/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/11/26/about-the-bloggers-julie-tilsner/#commentsName: Julie Tilsner

Age you tell people you are. Uh, 29?

Hometown: Los Angeles, tu sabes?

Where you live now: Back in LA. But I spent many of my best years in the San Francisco Bay Area, so I've been properly educated, politicized and caffeinated. Actually, LA gets a bum rap. The traffic sucks, of course, but it's still 78 degrees in late November.

Kids: Anna (Annie) 9 going on 35, and Jack, 6-ish. Annie's read all the Harry Potter's several times over. Currently working her way through Ranma ½ (it's a Japanese Manga series). When she is old enough, she will vote Green. Jack spends hours drawing robots and monsters. By his own admission, he will either be a doctor who cuts people open or a Halloween shop employee.

One thing I can't live without - my blended mocha from my local coffee house. Yeah, I know it's a $4 coffee drink and yeah, I know it's got 10,000 calories. But I need it, ok? Everybody's got at least one vice. Pastor Ted Haggard has several, apparently.

When I'm not blogging at Blogging Baby - I'm writing for Parenting Magazine, American Baby Magazine, Babycenter.com and working on various book projects. One day soon I'll convince the editors at Cookie that they need me to write for them. In my rare spare time, I like to cook and I love to dance flamenco, but I do neither very well. I drown my sorrows in red wine and cheeses from Cyprus.

What's actually come out of my mouth...."There are starving children in Afghanistan who would weep if they saw this bowl of Mac and Cheese.....!"

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]]>Julie TilsnerSun, 26 Nov 2006 09:00:00 ESTDisneyland: The most hellish place on earthhttp://www.parentdish.com/2006/11/24/disneyland-the-most-hellish-place-on-earth/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/11/24/disneyland-the-most-hellish-place-on-earth/http://www.parentdish.com/2006/11/24/disneyland-the-most-hellish-place-on-earth/#commentsFiled under: ,

I grew up in Southern California. In the '60s and '70s, I went to Disneyland dozens of times. At least once a year and usually more. It was part of my childhood. And yes, I have many fond memories, including being three years old and crying so hard I threw up on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

Today, I live about a half-hour's drive away (or two hours, depending on traffic) from the Magic Kingdom. I took my daughter on her first visit when she was four and her baby brother was still in the stroller.

It was a highly successful first visit, I thought, because A) we only hit a few rides and got out before the crowds hit and B) my dad paid for all of it. I left feeling quite pleased with myself.

The next three trips, however, were less successful, however. And I began to see Disneyland for what it was: A ruse to part parents from their money.

After my final trip, in which the then-seven-year-old proclaimed the day "the worst birthday party in the world," I can't say that I'm inclined to give Disneyland another chance. But I feel that as a Southern Californian by birth, and as a parent otherwise inclined to do things I have no interest in for the benefit of my offspring, I feel I can offer you, gentle readers, a service.

So take it from me. Avoid the Happiest Place on Earth.

I understand you have all been brainwashed into thinking a trip to Disneyland will be magical fun for the whole family. I have been, too. And indeed I remember when it was sort of a fun, wholesome place. I remember crowds, sure, but I also remember getting on rides, often times twice or thrice in one day! I remember the thrill in getting my name sewed onto some mouse ears, and eating those long twirly lollipops. I remember running all over Tom Sawyer's Island -- for hours! -- in unsupervised bliss. Disneyland was a kids' paradise. But somewhere between my High School Grad Nite and the time I had kids old enough to go to Disneyland, the scene had changed. Today Disneyland is a temple to the Bottom Line. Visitors come second. Profits come first.

Here are a few reasons why the Happiest Place on Earth, just ain't.

First: You have to drive through Anaheim, once a rural town filled with strawberry fields, now a flat, smoggy wasteland of strip-malls and garish motels catering to Disney tourists.

Second: The cost. It will cost a family of four around $200 just to enter the grounds. If you arrive anytime after the park opens, you will get to wait in a long, long line for the pleasure of paying your $200. Ever wait in line with a three-year-old? Nothing happy about that.

Third: The crowds. Disneyland has taken crowds and made them an art form that Francis Bacon would admire. Throngs. Teeming hoardes. Thrumming legions of unwashed, sweating, scowling tourists from the far corners of the planet, shuffling forward in the hopes of finding a ride that they won't have to stand in line for an hour to get onto. Crowds so big you can't move independently. Paralyzing crowds. You can't get on rides. You can't wander. You can't eat. You can't shop. Small children see these crowds and instantly shut themselves down. Soul-killing crowds.

Fourth: The cost again. There is lots to buy at Disneyland and everything is for sale, from the standard tourist tchotkies in the many shops to the premium you must pay in order to get a good photo with a Disney character.

Fifth: The value. What's your time and money worth? Is it worth hundreds of dollars to fight crowds for everything from getting on rides to getting a drink of water? Where's the value in standing in line for 40 minutes with two starving, over-heated kids to pay $6 for a 4-inch burrito that won't even sate a 7-year-old girl? (Go back and get a second one? Don't even think about it, pal). It's not hard to blow a total of $600 on a day-trip to Disneyland, and that's if you drive here. Triple that if you're planning on staying in Anaheim. Whew. $600. I bet if I looked hard enough on Expedia.com, I could find a package deal to Hawaii for me and my two kids.

If I sound like a killjoy, it's only because the experience I've had as a mom here has been so nauseatingly horrific. It's made all the more frustrating because millions of tourists show up in Southern California to visit Disneyland, which as a theme park seems to have tossed aside their enjoyment for the sake of profit.

I'd like to see the folks at Disneyland consider limiting the number of visitors in the park at any one time. Make it possible for people to actually get on rides without waiting in line for an hour each. Maybe have two shifts, one in the morning, one in the afternoon and evening, and let folks make a reservation.

But that would crimp profits, wouldn't it? Bad shareholder value. Bad idea. Bad Julie for even thinking such a thing!

Well I'm not going back there with my kids anyway. Who cares what they do.

Now. Allow me to hip you to the many fantastic values for families in Southern California.

Like the Beach. The beach is free. Southern California has many. May I suggest Laguna? Seal Beach? Hermosa? Go online and pick one near where you're staying. Kids can play all day in the sand and the waves, gobble down the hamburger and fries you buy them at the beachside stand for $6, and can be carried home, sandy and asleep on your shoulder. For free. Your babies will love the beach. Your toddlers will play until they drop. Even your sullen teens will love the beach. You'll love the beach. And did I mention? It's free! And if you come off-season, there's a very good chance you'll come on that one weekend in February when it's beach weather. The $200 (at least) you save on NOT going to Disneyland will buy you a new bathing suit, a beach novel and a lot of new sand toys for the kids. Not to mention a very nice dinner at a M exican restaurant for the four of you. Including strawberry margaritas.

What's the conundrum again?

Or if you have to go to an amusement park, try LegoLand, just down the freeway in scenic Carlsbad, Calif. It's actually quaint and sweet, with a variety of rides and interactive play (including a fantastic water play area that no kid can resist. Bring a towel and a change of clothes!)

Here are some more kid-friendly destinations for families coming to vacation in Southern California:

The La Brea Tar Pits - A large open park with a hands-on museum and good food nearby. The statues of the mammoth drowning in tar have been thrilling six-year-olds for 30 years.

The Griffith Observatory - They finally reopened it! A sprawling art deco palace up on a hill overlooking L.A. This is where they filmed the famous scene of Rebel Without a Cause. Visit the LA Zoo and the pony rides in Griffith Park, too.

The San Diego Zoo - The Big One. Bring a lot of water and a hat. Your kids will be all over this option.

The Getty - what looks to you like a beautiful art museum set in the Santa Monica Hills is really a totally cool park to your kids. You might not get to see much of the vaunted collection while here with your children, but you'll have a great time anyway. The grounds and views and stunning. And the Getty is family friendly, featuring PB&J's in its cafeteria and grassy hills you can roll down with the management's blessing.

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]]>DisneylandMickey MouseMickeyMouseTilsner reportTilsnerReportJulie TilsnerFri, 24 Nov 2006 08:20:00 EST