My four-year-old came up to me with a yellow TinkerToy hanging out of his mouth. "Mommy, I'm smoking," he said. I looked at him with a disgusted expression. "Smoking is very, very, very yucky!" I said; " It makes people sick and turns their lungs black." But my little guy doesn't even know what lungs are; yet he knows about smoking. I was floored. I have no idea where he learned this, and he doesn't watch that much TV. No one in our family smokes, although in our misguided youths both my husband and I inhaled more than air. My conclusion is that despite the recent well-funded anti-tobacco campaigns, smoking is still so ubiquitous that nursery school kids know about it. But at this rate, what's next? Is he going to be staggering around with his sippy cup saying , "Mommy, I'm drunk?" I have a pit in my stomach that will surely grow as my son's innocence recedes.

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Since December 2000, I've had two pregnancies, two babies, and four periods. Breastfeeding my kids well beyond their first year has paid me dividends in many ways, least of all-I haven't had to buy all those tampons or "sanitary" napkins, and although subject to a battery of hormones for the last five years, I haven't been as aware of the cyclical spikes that turn me into a raging fiend the day before I ruin a pair of underwear. So now that my old friend is back, I have mixed feelings. I like knowing that I'm healthy, and the monthly reminder that my birth control has worked is reassuring too, but I really didn't miss the messiness, and the smell of menstrual blood. Can any readers relate? When did you get your first postpartum periods?

Permalink | Email this | Comments

What do the helicopter, the television, the Popsicle, and the calculator all have in common? They were all invented by kids. To learn more and gain other inspiring tales of kids' ingenuity check out the By Kids for Kids site. Their mission is to bring kids' good ideas together with Industry and thus earn "self-worth, personal recognition and financial gain." They even have a panel of advisors who are children and inventors! So, if you know a kid who has a great little idea, this is the place to go!  I wish I'd known about this site as a kid.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

With the ever-increasing popularity of the Harry Potter Books,  Hogwarts Summer Camps, Scout retreats, and HogwARTS lessons have sprouted up all over the country like some magical educational plant. Here are just a few examples:
If you live in Edmands, WA  and your kids are 7-15 they can spend weeks enacting scenes from the books. If you live in New Canaan, Connecticut, your kids can dress up in wizarding clothes create potions, and even play a muggle form of Quidditch (that doesn't involve flying or brooms). A Unitarian Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana hosted a Harry Potter retreat from July 11-15, right before the release of the latest book. Some of the Hogwarts activities at the retreat included a sorting ceremony, owl posts (mail delivery) and of course a Quidditch game. This 33-year-old wishes she could attend a Hogwarts Camp too. Well, maybe as a teacher someday.  Has anyone out there sent their kids to a Howarts themed retreat or camp?

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Recently my 4-year-old has been throwing temper tantrums that are worse than any I've seen. I expect the crystal in the dining room hutch to shatter as his high-pitched shrieks of "I want Daddy!" ricochet in every direction. Anyone foolish enough to try to comfort him, or so much as look at him, will get kicked, scratched, or otherwise injured. He becomes so purple that with his bright blond hair, he resembles a furious Muppet. What usually sets him off is a combination of fatigue, low-blood sugar, and lately, his father going off to work.

In fact, he has become a little barnacle on my husband of late, wanting to emulate his every masculine way, and thus he won't let him out of his site on weekends, and has become a self-described grumpy old troll in the mornings: crouching in front of the door to block his father's exit. He wears "Daddy" underwear, "Daddy" shirts, and even "Daddy" sandals. In his imaginative play he goes to work like Daddy.  Whenever we call him "young man" in mock severity, he chuckles with glee.  So there are good things about his obsession, such as this male identity he has already mustered. But then there is the Dark Side. Call it what you will: Oedipal, obnoxious, or difficult. My husband feels almost persecuted by his son the barnacle. And I, his mother, am left out, or told things like, "I don't love you."

Continue reading My 4-year-old's obsession with his father

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Those inexpensive, folding chairs for children that seem to be for sale everywhere you look aren't so cute after all. According to the government Consumer Product Safety Commission,  they are vicious little vice-grips that can trap children's hands and even lead to amputations.  Almost 2 million of them have just been recalled by the three companies who distribute them: Idea Nuova Inc., Fourstar Group Inc., and Meco Corp. The CPSC recommends looking at the bottom of the chairs to find the name of the company who distributed the chair, and then contacting that company for a repair kit or a refund.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

There are so many stories out there of people growing up in ways that make me cringe. A twelve-year-old boy in Salt Lake City called 911 yesterday to report that his mother wasn't feeding him or his three younger siblings. (This woman also has two other kids who are already in her mother's custody.) When police got to the scene, they saw that the kids were living in total squalor. Police said the mother would probably not be charged for neglect. "Children's Services will work with her to teach her what she was doing, or not doing, isn't healthy for her kids." Just call me cynical,  but does anyone really believe this will make a difference? To me the fact that the mother probably won't be charged has more to do with a dysfunctional social services system than anything else. Although I don't know any of the details about this story, I can't help wishing that people would evolve a gene that makes it impossible to have kids of their own if they can't even care for themselves.  I know this is pure fantasy, but nothing else would eliminate these sob stories except maybe mandatory birth control for people who have maggots on their furniture?

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the militant breastfeeding club. For anyone who wants to join, here's another good breastfeeding site for beginners. Check out the great moving graphic of how to ram your nipple in a baby's mouth. This makes it very clear how forceful one has to be at the beginning of the breastfeeding relationship until the baby figures out how to nurse like a pro. And it's even funded with taxpayers' money. How's that for a shocker these days.  The US Department of Health and Human Services office of Women's Health has all kinds of other up-to-date,  and  generally useful information for helping mothers lead healthy lives including ovulation and due date calculators,  and an extensive list of state and local resources.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

According to Steven Hauser of Total Bike, a site 'geared' to all things bicycle, "training wheels are worthless, weak and evil." He goes on to say how he thinks they are dangerous and frankly, the work of the devil. So how do kids learn to ride a bike the Hauser way? They first learn to scoot. That's right. He tells parents to buy kids those little rollerblade scooters to learn two-wheel balance. Once kids are old enough to do this without falling, he says, they are ready for balancing on two wheels on a bike. Since they've figured out the balance thing, he claims, kids can learn to ride bikes in about 5 minutes. Have balance, will travel.

But, Steven, training wheels are an institution. Has anyone out there actually tried this radical way of learning to ride a bike?

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

"It's like preschool on TV," quotes my almost-4-year-old. He is telling me about the cable network for preschoolers, Noggin. But I already know about it, because I can actually stand to watch most of the shows he likes, with the exception of Blue's Clues. On September 12th, Noggin is launching a new series, Jack's Big Music Show. It will feature live performances by Laurie Berkner and other famous children's musicians and, "a nifty clubhouse, a dog [puppet] who plays the drums and a ton of great music-kids will think Jack's Big Music Show is swell," said Brown Johnson, the executive creative director for Nickelodeon Preschool Television. I'm sure that my son will be one of them.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

In the July issue of Parents  magazine, there is a  great article about 4 women who gave birth in unusual places: You Gave Birth...WHERE? One of these women, Lynda Sainvil, "went into labor at 30,000 feet." She started having contractions and her water broke while flying from Haiti to New York. She was moved to first class and a doctor was paged. Luckily for Lynda, who was only 26-weeks pregnant, there was an OB on board. However, all the OB could do was catch the baby, as her head was already crowning. As she was pushing, Lynda heard an announcement asking passengers to say a prayer for her and her child. This support helped her feel a little calmer. Within 45 minutes, Shaina was born weighing just 1-pound 14-ounces.

Permalink | Email this | Comments

BayTSP, a company that specializes in online surveillance of intellectual property, has a new tool for catching those who trade child pornography over the web. It is called Safe-KIDS. The company hopes that this new service will make it much easier for law-enforcement to catch the scumbags. "Child pornography is readily available on peer-to-peer networks, and the challenge for investigators has been finding file traders in their jurisdictions," said Mark Ishikawa, CEO of BayTSP. "Safe-KIDS automates and streamlines the process of identifying and locating infringers, giving investigators more time to focus on prosecutions." To this blogger, there is little worse than child pornography, so I think anything that helps catch people who trade such immoral and inhumane pornography is worth celebrating. I hope more companies come up with such devices.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Looking for just the product to amuse your kids and keep everyone cool this summer? A penguin ice cube tray could fit the bill. Fill it with fruit smoothies, or orange juice as I used to do as kid, and freeze. Out will waddle 12 gelid penguins. If you want to think other cold thoughts in the middle of a heat wave do check out The Penguin Place. It is just amazing what you can find with a penguin on it: bedroom slippers, an ice cream scoop, lawn ornaments. Some fun and campy things for adults too like penguin shot glasses.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

A friend's two-year-old boy has Lyme disease. He had a rash and became almost paralyzed over the course of last weekend. Although they never found a deer tick on him, they seem to have caught the disease fairly early. With a month of antibiotics his chances of full recovery are good. My friend seems to be handling her son's illness with remarkable poise. I would be a raving mess, at least on the inside. This is one scary effing disease because its symptoms can be confused with so many other illnesses including the common cold, and the ticks that carry the pathogens are so very hard to see. Wikipedia mentions that, if left untreated, the disease can lead to horrible arthritis and even brain damage, to name just a few of the later stage horrors. Since this weekend, I have been checking my little boys for ticks that are no bigger than a poppy seed, and I'm scared that one will bite them underneath their soft ringlets, on their heads, where I'll never find even the rash.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

A father peppered fliers with a picture of his son all over his South Side neighborhood in Chicago. There were pieces of paper on cars, in flowerpots, in doors, etc.  The fliers were not to find a missing boy, but to announce: Max Lulich, Solo Violin. The flyer also read,  "Max Lulich's story is one of overcoming the odds," and notes that he was born to a drug-addicted mother serving time in an Illinois prison. "With the guidance of a loving, devoted father and grandfather," the flier goes on to say, "Max is being taught that any child of any ethnic/racial background can beat the odds; that the history of his life will not be the future." His father and grandfather are Yugoslavian immigrants who hope that one day their little boy will be a great soloist. To this end,  Max listened to violin music instead of watching TV as a baby, and started taking violin lessons at the age of 2. Now Max practices all the time and meets with 3 different violin teachers each week.  Let's hope that Max wants to be a violinist as much as his father and grandfather want him to be.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Yesterday morning my in-laws whisked our almost-4-year-old away to Cape Cod with them for two days of fun in the sun. He has been away with them before: for a week right after he turned 2, and last year they took him on a 2-day beach vacation. They love to have some time alone with him because they feel like he gives them the most love and undivided attention, so they can "raise" him the way they want to without having to defer to us, the parents, something neither of them is very good at. For us, it is decidedly a break from the frenetic lifestyle of raising two small kids. And our son has fun with them too, so we agree to these little getaways despite the fact that he is still so very small. Of course, the house feels empty without him,

Continue reading Experiencing a half-empty nest: when to farm a kid out to the grandparents

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Robeez,  the Canadian company that makes wonderful soft-soled shoes for babies and toddlers now makes sandals! In May, we were very excited to get a pair from my Canadian in-laws. My son has enjoyed their full line of products on his little tootsies including shoes (sneakers and teddybear slippers), booties, and now sandals. They come in brown, navy, white, lime, and tangerine.  With the cute little holes in front, his feet don't sweat in the July heat, and they always stay on.  Plus, they protect his feet while he toddles around, without rigidly confining them. The best thing from this Mom's perspective is they are machine washable.  I heart his Robeez.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

In December of last year,  35-year-old Paul Jopson, of Liverpool,  England had a plan. He'd steal thousands of pounds worth of toy trains and sell them in time for Christmas. After committing the burglary of a model railway store in Allston Station, he got away with £5,000 of merchandise,  but only for a while. He'd left something behind that tied him to the crime scene-a bloody Kleenex.
When the tissue was sent for DNA testing it proved to be Jopson's. Apparently unaware of the prosecution's overwhelming evidence against him, he pleaded not guilty, and has now been sentenced to two and a half years in prison. Maybe that will teach him to pay for his trains like a a good boy.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

I like to think I have a reasonably open mind; for example, I breastfed my first child until he was almost 2, but I do not look down on those who do not breastfed their kids. I am married to a man, but I think people deserve to be in happy marriages whatever sex or gender they are and whatever their partner is.  Yet, when it comes to the color pink I am as conservative as it comes. I will not, no can not bring myself to dress my little boys in pink. And I cringe when I see other's little boys in pink too.

I don't mind if my husband wears pink. In fact, it's kind of sexy, but my boys, no. Is it that I'm afraid that they'll be wussy little femmes when they grow up instead of macho he-men? Not really. But, I don't want them to be perceived as other than they are in their formative years, when so much of reality is imprinted in deep unconscious ways. Pink is the brand-color of all things feminine. I am aware that this wasn't always so. When my grandparents were babies, blue, as the less vibrant color, was considered feminine. But symbols are the only way we have of communicating with each other, and pink now means an X-chromosome is lurking under those clothes.

Continue reading Blogger ponders: is pink out for boys?

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Earmarked, stained with who-only-knows-what, heavy, and a good yawn factory, they are the means by which most kids gain a high school education.  But one high school in Arizona has said hasta la vista to its textbooks, all of them. This fall, three-hundred and fifty students in Vail will be issued brand new laptops in place of those tomes that have haunted and edified generations of high school students for longer than any living soul can remember. For all the talk about the Internet killing the book, as we know it, there has been little dramatic evidence that the net has actually replaced the book until now. This school is the very first one to go entirely paperless. It is a brave new world.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments