I came across this very interesting little piece that appeared in the New York Times the other day about American families raising adopted children from China and exposing both the child and the family to Chinese traditions. This is done basically to give the child a sense of identity of where they are from and their culture, as well as giving the adoptive family the opportunity to learn more about their child's roots.

This is a really great concept and as we see more families adopting from overseas, it really does give a child a good sense of self and an understanding of where they come from. There are times when we seem too quick to "Americanize" these kids, but we need to remember that all of us come from somewhere else, and we celebrate our own traditions and customs, whether we are of Italian, Irish, Jewish, German, African-American, Asian, etc., descent. We as adoptive parents should allow our children that same opportunity to celebrate their own inherent traditions.

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I've never seen an episode of Dr. Phil, but I wished I had seen these two episodes. Apparently, last week a woman who scammed a family who thought they were adopting her baby was revealed and confronted on the show by the same family.

It appears this "person", Bella Kampanelli aka Melissa Christiansen, a known adoption scammer, was bilking other families out of their money as well. After she got caught by the authorities, her explanation of her behavior was that she "wanted to feel special to somebody"--the somebody being at least five different families she coerced into paying her bills and believing that her baby would go to them. To top it off, she was not even pregnant.

It goes without saying that people like Melissa Christiansen are the scum of the Earth, and they should have the book thrown at them. As we've said here before, if you choose to pursue an adoption where you deal directly with the birthmother, it pays to do as much due diligence as possible, including background checks. Of course, it may prove difficult for the other party to cooperate, but if they don't, it means they're probably up to something and it would be better for you to walk away. The end result could be devastating heartbreak for you.

If anyone has seen these shows, please comment here and let us know what exactly transpired.

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It's every prospective adoptive parent's worst nightmare. A birthmother promises that she has chosen you to be the adoptive parent of her baby, but when the baby is due, the deal is broken.

Many times, the birthmother and (sometimes) the birthfather have a change of heart and decide to keep their child. Although that scenario can be heartbreaking to people expecting to adopt, it comes with the territory, and you have to expect it. Giving up a child is the most wrenching decision anyone ever has to make, so even though it can be devastating to those waiting to adopt, you can certainly understand it if someone changes their mind.

However, unfortunately, there are those who would take advantage of people and engage in adoption scams to bilk people out of money. There are some "birthmothers" who will promise their child to more than one adoptive family or, in some extreme cases, fake a pregnancy. They do this while accepting financial support from these people. When you read about these types of scams, it makes you very angry.

To combat these situations, Lynne Banks and Kelly Kiser-Mostrom have created a website based on Kiser-Mostrom's book "The Cruelest Con" that helps adoptive parents identify potential scammers as well as make sure the agencies and/or attorneys they work with are on the level. They don't charge for their work, and they strive to help people have a positive adoption experience.

It's a great tool to help anyone interested in adopting and helps to make sure that they are protected against any scams from unscrupulous people.

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For all of us who have either adopted or are planning to adopt, this piece does a good job of debunking some of the preconceived (i.e., inaccurate) notions that people may have about the concept of adopting a child or about the process.

While I have some issues about the cost of adoption--true, rich people are not the only people that can adopt, but it is VERY expensive, and both domestic and international agencies are not doing this SOLELY for the good of their hearts. Let's be real--they're in business and they'd like to make a profit, or else they wouldn't be doing it in the first place.

Nevertheless, this column serves as a good template from which to gain better understanding of what adoption is all about.

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Adoptions from Guatemala have proved very popular over the past few years. There were nearly 4,500 completed last year, and it looks like more will take place this year.

However, this story gives strong indications that there are many irregularities in the system within the country, and it bears closer scrutiny as more Americans turn to Guatemala and other countries in the region for adoptions as China and other lands place more restrictions on their own adoption processes.

There are allegations of women being manipulated into placing their children into the adoption system, and of monies being exchanged between unaware adoptive parents and baby brokers in Guatemala. It really is sad to read and this could only lead to further trouble down the line if anyone within the Guatemalan government had the courage to contest the system.

It goes without saying that if you plan to adopt from Guatemala you should first gather as much information as you can before you undertake the effort. Of course, information from sources such as domestic adoption agencies as well as the State Department can be spotty at best, but you have to start from somewhere. Unfortunately, there is a lot of room for abuse in the system and a lot of people can get hurt.

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You have to give Florida Governor Charlie Crist some credit for trying to make adoption easier and more affordable in his state.

Besides proposing an annual $3,000 subsidy for parents who adopt until the child turns 18 years of age, he is looking to create an Office of Adoption and Child Protection. Thhe head of this office would be charged with the responsibility of making sure the adoption process, especially of those children in foster care moves forward in a timely manner. In addition, children with special needs, who already get a state subsidy of about $3,600 a year, would see that increase to about $5,000.

It's gratifying to see that these steps are being taken. Adoption is by and large an expensive proposition, and anything that can be done to ease the financial burden is worth undertaking. Plus, having a state government office coordinating adoptions within that state seems like a good idea. There are way too many instances where there is a lack of information as well as solid regulation when it comes to adoptions, especially for those children in foster care. In addition, there are too many loopholes and opportunities for mismanagement of the entire process, and having someone in charge to make sure everything goes smoothly is a good thing.

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This is the kind of story that puts fear into the hearts of every prospective adoptive family.

It turns out a Michigan woman defrauded three(!) adoptive couples out of thousands of dollars as she is accused of promising them they would be able to adopt her unborn child. The couples each paid money to her for rent, utilities, and cellphone bills. The child was eventually born and placed with a fourth couple.

The accused culprit, Heather Roshelle Collins, allegedly made things even worse by telling the couples that her baby would be born last October when it actually was born in August. So, for a period of three months, she continued to accept money from these couples while her child was already out of her custody.

Collins has now been charged with two felonies and released on $20,000 bond. Preliminary hearings are scheduled to take place next week.

Obviously, we all know that birthmothers do have the right to change their minds and keep their babies--all of us who have adopted domestically know the risks. However, birthmothers don't have the right to play with peoples' emotions and prey on them for bottomless financial support. That's why it is crucial that prospective adoptive parents get legal representation immediately so their rights will be protected.

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Legislation has been proposed in New Hampshire that will allow same-sex couples to adopt in all 10 of the state's counties. Currently, probate judges in six counties allow these adoptions, while four do not. However, according to this story, the fact that these four counties that do not allow same-sex adoptions has nothing to do with personal views on the issue--it's more of how judges in these particular cases read and apply existing law.

Under the current law, a married couple or an unmarried couple can adopt children, but it does not specifically say that same-sex adults can do so as well. Some judges apply the law to include same-sex unmarried couples. But for judges who go "by the book," same-sex adoptions are not allowed to proceed because these couples cannot marry in New Hampshire.

The new law would allow for two unmarried adults in a "familial relationship"--meaning that the couple share a home and have the means to pay the rent or mortgage on that home--to adopt a child together. Of course, the couple would also have to prove that they have the ability to provide a stable and loving home for that child, but one would assume that process already exists within the state.

The proposed legislation certainly makes a lot of sense, and it should pass when it comes up for a vote next month.

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This is another one of those editorials written by a vice president from the Focus on the Family organization that pretty much lays to waste the idea of gay adoptive parents being good role models for their children.

Bill Maier cites research that concludes that children do best in families where there is a mother and father because they have different communication styles and kids should be exposed to that. (You can draw your own conclusions.)

He also strangely brings up what Rosie O'Donnell's six-year-old adopted son said about why he doesn't have a father. I'm not a fan of Rosie O'Donnell at all, but I've always admired her for supporting and promoting adoption. But using a six-year-old kid's opinions to buttress your argument against gay adoption sounds a bit weak, doesn't it?

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It's been said that Web 2.0 social networking sites like MySpace and Friendster bring people together, but this story really brings the point across.

Apparently, a Wisconsin woman who placed her baby daughter for adoption in 1985 found her child on MySpace just a few short weeks ago. The both of them had been corresponding with an adoption agency as a go-between, but they were never able to meet face-to-face. The story goes that the mother (Diana Brown) typed in her daughter's name (Ashley Gardner) on MySpace and was able to see her picture. They soon touched base via e-mail, and then finally met a few weeks later.

In addition, it appears that Ms. Gardner's parents approve of the reunion, and Ms. Brown seems to have the right attitude by saying that she was not trying to replace anyone in her life, but just there to love her.

Small world, isn't it?

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Although Florida Governor Charlie Crist has been dealing with a controversy over a daughter he may have fathered years ago with a woman, with the result being the child being placed for adoption, it still seems that he is a solid advocate for adoption.

Crist released his 2007-2008 budget proposal on Monday, and he is proposing that the State Legislature pass his recommendations to somewhat ease the financial burden Florida state residents would undertake if they choose to adopt.

Some of his key recommendations include:

• Increasing the adoption subsidy to $5,000 annually for children adopted out of foster care, until the children reach the age of 18. In addition, Crist is calling for the creation of an adoption subsidy rate of $3,000 annually for up to the first three years of adoption for private adoptions.
• Funding for basic life skills and planning for those teenagers who will be leaving foster care without being adopted.

As we adoptive parents well know, adoption is very, very costly, no matter if you adopt domestically or internationally. The aforementioned subsidies are not the cure-all for the monies that adoptive families will have to commit to in order to adopt a child, but if it can help pay a few bills, it's a good thing.

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Adoption specialist Diane Sadovnikov has spent a number of years helping people adopt children from Russia and the Ukraine from her home base in Virginia Beach, Virginia. According to this story, she is a pillar of the community.

Tragically, Ms. Sadovnikov is suffering from cervical cancer, and it is quite likely that she will die in the not-too-distant future. Making matters worse, it appears she may have been misdiagnosed a few years ago, and any chance of a miracle cure have been dashed.

She is the mother of two girls herself, and now she is seeking to place her children with a family that will raise them in their absence. Apparently, her ex-husband, her two brothers, and her elderly parents have been deemed by Ms. Sadovnikov as "not appropriate" guardians for her children. It appears that a local couple, who her girls know well and also spend time with their children, are the right fit, in her opinion.

This is a sad story on many levels. First and foremost, Ms. Sadovnikov is dying from a terrible disease. Next, her daughters will be losing their mother at a very young age. Then, her extended family, including her ex-husband, have been judged by her not to be worthy of raising her children.

It's hard to make a value judgement on this story. One would assume that in a circumstance such as this, a family member would assume the responsibility of raising these children in place of the mother. But to arrange their adoption to another family seems quite unusual.

Obviously, there's more to this story than meets the eye.

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Although we have come a long way with regard to the acceptance of gay people into the mainstream of our society, there are still many people who are opposed to their way of life, especially when it comes to adoption.

Witness this column by Bryan Fischer, the Executive Director of the Idaho Values Alliance. According to their website, their mission is to "make Idaho the friendliest place in the world to raise a family." (No small task, I would guess.)

Anyway, Mr. Fischer is diametrically opposed to the idea of gay people adopting children, mainly for the reasons you might expect:

• Every child needs both a mom and dad
• Boys will learn how to be a man by observing their fathers
• Girls will learn how to be a woman by observing their mothers

There's a lot more to discern from Mr. Fischer's viewpoint, so it might be best if you folks read his column and make up your own minds. However, if it were up to me, putting litmus tests on adoptive parents' sexuality only limits the opportunities for children to find a loving home.

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With each passing day we are seeing families with children who don't look exactly like them. Go to the mall on a Saturday and see a blond-haired, blue-eyed mom with an Asian child tagging along behind her, or a dark-haired man holding the hand of his African-American son. What used to draw double-takes and disapproving looks from many people not that long ago is now becoming the exception rather than the norm.

However, the adoption of children whose race is different from their adoptive family still has its challenges. Let's face it, there still exists a great deal of racial intolerance in this country, and the families and their children must learn to deal with it, no matter how difficult it can be.

The good thing is that there are many more families these days who have gone through the process of adopting a child whose race is different from theirs, so there is a great deal more support for you if you choose this path to adoption. Plus, parents have to be able to adapt by not hiding their child's heritage from them--for example, if you're a white family that is planning to adopt a child from Korea, then they should expose that child to their native culture so they have a sense of place and heritage.

It really is gratifying to see that adoption, like love, has no boundaries, including race.

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There's a controversy brewing in Florida where a 17-year-old girl's adoptive parents are trying to find out if Governor Charlie Crist is the teenager's biological father.

It seems that the parents have been trying to get in touch with Crist to get more information, but the governor seems reluctant to participate in any kind of communication. It's been reported that he has refused to take a DNA test to prove whether he is indeed the girl's brithfather.

A Florida lawyer has been claiming that she and Crist conceived the child during a one-night stand back in 1989, and that the girl was put up for adoption after her birth. The governor has been saying that this is just a ploy to embarrass him and has denied any involvement.

This is indeed a very sticky situation. However, the question that must be asked is what are the parents and the lawyer trying to prove? Are the parents looking for a financial gain by trying to goad Governor Crist into admitting the paternity of the child? And what exactly is the lawyer's motivation? She placed the child up for adoption, so what is she looking to gain from all of this? Last, but certainly not least, what are the young woman's feelings about all of this? Does she truly want to find out the identity of her biological father, or are other influences forcing this upon her?

Things would certainly be different if Governor Crist was not a public figure. But, at the same time, if Crist wants to put the talk to rest, he might be better off by taking a DNA test or doing something else to prove once and for all that either he is or is not the father of that 17-year-old girl. Consequently, the other parties should state publicly their true intentions so that nothing is left to speculation.

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Communities and Local Government minister Ruth Kelly, who is described as a devout Catholic and a member of Opus Dei, has been proposing to overturn legislation that bans sexual discrimination in the business and services industry, which includes church-based aoption agencies. In addition, a number of Catholic Church leaders in Scotland and the rest of the U.K. have indicated that they would rather close down their adoption agencies than place children with gay couples.

There surely will be fireworks in the British government over this--both sides of the argument seem rather entrenched in their positions. It really shouldn't matter what an adoptive family's sexual orientation is, but there are many people who believe that it does matter.

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Interesting story out of Raleigh, North Carolina where a state panel is recommending that laws be passed to set up extended rules for birthparents or other relatives to stay in touch with children after adoption.

A law already on the books law says that once an adoption has been completed, all relations between a child and biological relatives are cut. There are concerns that if a new law is passed to allow for communication between the parties from birth, older children who have already been brought up by a family may find it difficult to deal with if their biological family attemtps to form a relationship with them.

It's a sticky situation, but if a child is placed for adoption, the biological parent(s) must be made fully aware that there is no guarantee that there will be any future communication between them. Adoptive parents should not be put in the difficult position of balancing the needs of their child AND the biological parents at the same time. The child comes always comes first.

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A student at the University of Wisconsin has written a very thoughtful editorial on the Chinese government's decision to issue strict guidelines as to who exactly can adopt children from their country.

We've all read about it and yes, some of them sound rather ludicrous, such as requiring a body mass index less than 40. In any event, the Chinese government can make any rules they want--it's their country.

However, the student makes a very good point in saying that there may be a silver lining to all of this. Her argument, and one which I totally agree with, is that this will encourage Americans to look to other countries to adopt. There certainly are many needy children spread out around the world, and there are plenty of opportunities to build a family besides China. And let's not forget there are needy children within the U.S. as well.

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The New York Times is featuring an excellent story on the dilemma families are facing that are given the opportunity to host a child from the Ukraine at their homes for a period of time, but are not given any guarantee that they will be able to adopt those same children later on.

According to the story, agencies located in the Ukraine and Russia are not always truthful and don't always provide the most accurate information about children housed in orphanages in their respective countries. In addition, they require large sums of cash for what they "donations" to the orphanages as well as gifts and other handouts.

What makes things so risky is that not only are these foreign government agencies susceptible to corrupt behavior, but there are agencies in this country who function as facilitators for foreign adoptions that have taken advantage of these situations and have profited greatly at the expense of prospective adoptive parents.

In any case, foreign adoptions are rife with risks, and it is absolutely essential that adoptive parents take every conceivable precaution beforehand before they invest their money and emotions into a process that is not cut and dried.

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A new study from the U.S. State Department indicates that foreign adoptions by Americans decreased signficiantly last year.

According to the report, international adoptions dropped about 10%, with the biggest decreases coming from China and Russia. Factors such as countries either banning adoptions by foreigners (Romania) and others severly restricting foreign adoptions (China, Ukraine, etc.) are playing a =major role in the situation. Most of these governments are doing all they can to make sure these children find homes in their own country. However, there may be more opportunities for Americans to adopt children in countries such as Brazil and Mexico, as well as some African nations.

But, if you are looking to adopt, it may not hurt to at least look at adopting domestically. There are thousands of children in our own country that need good, loving homes. If, however, your heart is set on adopting from another country, do yourself a favor and do as much research as you can so that way you will be prepared for just about any situation that may occur.

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