ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com/media/feedlogo.gif ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com en-us Copyright 2013 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Marlee Matlin on 'Celebrity Apprentice,' Raising 4 Kids and Being a Role Model for the Deafhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/30/marlee-matlin/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/30/marlee-matlin/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/30/marlee-matlin/#commentsFiled under: ,

Marlee Matlin

Marlee Matlin. Credit: WireImage

Marlee Matlin has always refused to let her deafness stand in her way.

The actress won an Oscar at the tender age of 21 for "Children of a Lesser God," and, since then, the 45-year-old has appeared in dozens of TV movies and series.

She's also no stranger to reality show competitions. In 2008, she was a contestant on "Dancing with the Stars," and Matlin currently is impressing Donald Trump on "Celebrity Apprentice."

Married since 1993 to police officer Kevin Grandalski, Matlin is the mother of four children -- Sara, 14, Brandon, 10, Tyler, 8, and Isabelle, 7.

ParentDish recently caught up with the star after she had just returned from Uganda where she had been giving out hearing aids to deaf children. An edited version of the email interview follows.

ParentDish: Did you feel like you had entered an insane asylum when you started "Celebrity Apprentice?"
Marlee Matlin: Let's say that I found myself in an environment where people dealt with each other in a manner that was completely foreign to me. But that's what I liked about it. I might be deaf, but I found a way through the noise and chatter to do my best work with everyone on my team. I hope I completed the tasks we were given. It may have been crazy, but it was crazy good.

PD: Who surprised you most on the show?
MM: Though I have known him for 20 years, Mr. Trump surprised me the most. I knew he was a smart business man, but he has the most acute ability to read people and get out of them what they would never really say. I pride myself on reading people's body language, being that I use my hands and face to communicate, but Mr. Trump seems to have the ability to read minds just based on what they say.

PD: Who have you become friendly with from the show?
MM: I've kept in touch with several members of the cast -- John Rich, Meatloaf and all of the women. But I have to say because my husband and I consciously chose to live outside Hollywood, I haven't found that many occasions to hang out with the friends I've made on the show. But we do communicate by text and email. And, in my case, being deaf, that makes the most sense rather than talk on the phone.

PD: Did you ever feel like running your fingers through Donald Trump's hair to see if it was real?
MM: I have run my fingers through his hair at Mr. Trump's request to prove that it is real. Wait, that sounds odd! Ha! In actuality, it was all very innocent and part of the show and I have to say his hair is soft like a baby's head of hair. His hair is really misunderstood by America! Ha!

PD: Going into it, were you confident you could win?
MM: I came to play the game because I was confident I could win and prove that I was a formidable player when it comes to raising money for my charity. Whether I won or not was up to the other players each week, and, ultimately, up to Mr. Trump. But I for sure brought the attitude that I was deserving of being considered a winner.

PD: You won at Oscar when you were only 21. Did it go to your head?
MM: No, my Oscar went to the top shelf of my desk. Seriously, I had the opposite issue when it came to winning Oscar. I was more than happy to embrace the win as recognition of my work, but some in the industry, certain critics, were not willing to give me the victory. Some said my win that night was a pity vote and that I shouldn't really have won because I was a deaf person playing a deaf role. Others said, because I didn't speak, I would never work in Hollywood again.

Well, firstly, if they knew the story or knew me, they would've known that the character I played was nowhere close to who I am in real life, so I was acting. And, secondly, speaking in a different way never stopped me before, so why should it stop me in Hollywood? But I let them get to me and it took me a couple of years to accept the fact that I was deserving of the Oscar and that I wasn't DOA -- deaf on arrival. It's been 25 years since my win, I'm still working and I'm still here.

PD: Is it ever daunting to be such a public figure for the deaf community?
MM: I like to say that I'm a role model for myself and my family and just happen to be part of the larger deaf community. Unfortunately, as one person, I can't be everything for every person, just as anyone who is member of a minority community can't represent their entire community. I'm just an actor. And there are so many different types of deaf people and I can only represent who I am.

But I do hope example proves that deaf people can do anything and that the barriers they face are not in their ears, but in the minds of people around them who wish to handicap them. That's the best I can hope for.

PD: Do you think your kids are more sensitive to people who are different because of your deafness?
MM: It's not just my deafness that makes my children understand the importance of diversity. My husband and I have made a conscious effort to help them understand that everyone deserves love and respect regardless of ability or difference. But I am glad they have the opportunity to have me as their mom so they can experience life from a different perspective and incorporate it into their lives as they grow up.

PD: You have four kids. Do they ever gang up against you?
MM: How much time do you have? Ha! Sometimes I feel like Carol Brady, but with the kids from "Married with Children." It's crazy, and yet I wouldn't have it any other way. They may think that Mom is deaf and they can get away with saying things behind my back, but I've got eyes in the back of my head and catch them every time! Actually, it's because I'm Mom and I've been around a long time that I know all the tricks, having tried to pull the wool over my own mom and dad's eyes when I was young. I won't tell them that, even though it's 2011, their tricks are at least as old as I am and that I know every one of them. Nothing gets past me.

PD: You have such a busy career. How do you manage it all?
MM: A good husband, a great set of in-laws and family members who pitch in when I have to travel. And a Red Bull -- diet, of course -- here and there.

PD: Are you a strict mother?
MM: I'm a Virgo so I'm a very precise mother. My husband is more of the authoritarian in the house, more of the game/rule keeper. He's the one who isn't willing to bend as I might when my children give me a look that says "Mom!" But the good cop, bad cop routine works for us -- particularly because my husband is a cop!

PD: Does that get you out of speeding tickets?
MM: I admit that I do show my husband's business card if and when I've been pulled over. I do that more when the officer wants to communicate with me and, seeing as most don't sign, I show it to them if they'd like to call my husband to tell him what's up. If I've been speeding, I certainly would say I deserve a ticket but I'd also like to think that every once in a while, one gets a stern warning. I think they can be every much as effective as a fine. At least that's what I keep trying to tell the officer who's pulled me over.

PD: In your book "I'll Scream Later," you write very honestly about your problems with drugs. How do you talk about that part of your life with your kids?
MM: The same way I wrote about it in my book. First, I don't force it down their throats because I think a child has to have the emotional maturity to understand it before one can explain not to do drugs. But once they're old enough, I have no problem saying straight up: Mom did drugs, but Mom made a mistake and Mom hopes and would like you to not make the same mistake. It's important to communicate and important to create an environment where my kids can feel free to ask me questions about anything, as opposed to asking friends who might have fallen into the wrong places when it comes to things like drugs and alcohol.

PD: Where does your incredible drive come from?
MM: My incredible drive comes from my Russian/Polish background. My grandparents and parents dealt with a lot of adversity, world wars, discrimination, immigration under tough circumstances and poverty. In my case, they grieved when they first found out I was deaf and they might have felt guilty or sorry for themselves, but they soon turned it all around. They decided that I was going to be raised just like any other child should be raised and that no one was going to treat me any differently simply because I was deaf. Some call it determination, others call it will, but my grandmother would've called it "chutzpah."

I was reminded of it just the other day when I met Helena Bonham Carter for the first time and the first thing she said to me was, "I met your parents and they came right up to me to say they were Marlee Matlin's parents." The fact that Helena remembered something from so many years ago just proved that my parents certainly have chutzpah. That's the drive they shared with me and which taught me to never take no for an answer.

PD: What's the scariest thing you've done?
MM: I was tempted to say, deliver an Oscar speech at the young age of 21 to people I had looked up to and watched for years on movie screens, but in actuality that was more humbling that scary. I think in reality, I'd have to say dance live in front of 25 million people to music I hoped would match my feet on "Dancing with the Stars." But I did it. Now the next scary thing is walk into the board room in front of Mr. Trump with the hopes I don't hear the words "You're fired!"

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]]>celebrity apprenticecelebrity interviewsmalee matlinNicki GostinWed, 30 Mar 2011 16:00:00 ESTBethenny Frankel Dishes on Motherhood, In-laws and Her Latest Bookhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/25/bethenny-frankel/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/25/bethenny-frankel/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/25/bethenny-frankel/#commentsFiled under: , ,

bethenny frankel

Credit: Paul Zimmerman, Getty Images

It didn't take long for Bethenny Frankel to become the fan favorite on Bravo's "The Real Housewives of New York City."

The reality star, natural foods chef and best-selling author soon scored her own spin-off, "Bethenny Getting Married?" -- in which she wed love Jason Hoppy and delivered their daughter, Bryn -- and currently stars in "Bethenny Ever After."

In her latest book, "A Place of Yes," Frankel, 40, lists 10 rules "for getting everything you want out of life."

ParentDish recently spoke with Frankel about her latest book, motherhood and dealing with her in-laws. An edited version of the interview follows.

ParentDish: What does the title "A Place of Yes" mean?
Bethenny Frankel: It does not mean a way to the power of positive thinking. It means a way to get there. You don't have to want what I want. It's about how to plow through and get there. It's how I got to where I am from coming from a place of yes. So many people told me no and how it couldn't happen. I kind of just knew in my gut that I could make things happen.

PD: There are 10 rules in the book. What do you think is the most important one?
BF: I would say maybe all roads lead to Rome, because people worry about the right job and it has to be the perfect situation. And all roads lead to Rome is kind of about getting on the road; it doesn't matter if you get derailed or have to stop, as long as you are moving forward, you can get to your destination one way or another.

PD: You talk a lot about your dysfunctional childhood. What do you carry over from it?
BF: I'm controlling and micromanaging and I have a hard time just being in the moment and I'm obsessive.

PD: You don't speak to Jill from "Real Housewives" at all anymore, right?
BF: No, we don't speak at all. Listen, I have boyfriends that I lived with that I broke up with that I don't speak to, you know. We met briefly before the show, but ultimately our friendship began and ended on reality TV. The way it went down was extremely difficult because my father passed away, I was in a new relationship and being pregnant. The way it went down was really not ideal.

PD: Do you think the housewives are getting out of control?
BF: I think, in a lot of cases, housewives get rewarded for bad behavior, me included. Reality TV is a stressful situation, and, for some people, they act in very different ways and I don't think it's necessarily ideal for everybody.

PD: How has motherhood changed you?
BF: My priorities totally changed. I wake up in the morning and the minute I hear her I want to run to her. If I go to L.A. for work, I'll take a red-eye and not stay overnight so I can come back and see her. I just want to be with her every single minute. I've been listening to every woman who says it flies by, and it really does. That will be problematic for me; I can already see that being my issue. I'm going to have a really hard time letting go.

PD: Your mother has said that you aren't telling the truth about your childhood. Does that bother you?
BF: No, it doesn't upset me at all. Did she have any idea I would become this successful and have an audience that listens to what I say and that I would write books? No. I feel compassion for her, because in order for me to tell my story in my book, in order for me to write about how I got here, I can't just leave a giant chunk of my life out.

... That was a choice I had to make. I don't really blame people for their actions that much. I understand why she provided photos of me to different outlets when I was younger. While I was in my childhood, I didn't think it was all that traumatic. It's just what I knew and there were a lot of really great times, especially with my mother, because we were definitely more friends than a mother-daughter relationship.

PD: Do you realize now that it wasn't a healthy relationship?
BF: Yeah. My mom was the cool mom. I was going to nightclubs when I was 13 and all that stuff. I was quite advanced at a young age. I heard every argument that ever happened in my house. If Jason and I are even raising our voices, I don't want Bryn to hear that. Not that I want her to think she's growing up in some perfect life or anything. It's just that I don't want a baby to hear any kind of raised voices.

PD: You also write that women should have sex with their husbands even when they're not in the mood.
BF: You just don't want to be the girl five years in, always saying no and in a raggedy robe. You want to try and come from a place of yes.

PD: So, do the producers want you to do goofy things on your show?
BF: Not on my show. That's why Max got fired (recently), to be perfectly honest. I didn't want someone who wanted to be funny and come up with quips. It actually really annoyed me. In reality, he'd be two hours late and he'd want to take a cab instead of the subway and I'm big on work ethic. You think this is a TV show -- this is my life. I get in wicked fights with my producers. There will not be a word out of place. If it's not something I said or did, it will not be on the show or I'll never do the show again. I have a serious foot-down mantra.

PD: I hope you're not offended, but I'm on Team Jason regarding issues with his parents. Your daughter is so lucky to have grandparents who adore her.
BF: I'm not offended. I do understand and I love them and they're wonderful. I don't need them to be here every two weeks staying over and vice versa. It's a 50/50 split as to what people think. Guilt shouldn't be a reason for doing things. I want my family and I have to have quality time, too. We need to have our own life. We need to have our own moments together and then share them with other people. I totally get where you're coming from, but it's a balance. Jason and his parents are very talkative and, on a TV show, that's really nice for an hour, but when you've been together for three days in a row you can imagine. That's fine if it's occasional, every week it's too much.

PD: How old were you when you got over your eating issues?
BF: In my early 30s. It was a trip to Italy where I decided I'm going to eat and my jeans are going to zip up the same. I'm going to have wine and gelato and that's where your diet is a bank account was born. Before this book of yes, "Naturally Thin" was my single greatest work achievement. It just changed people's lives. It's years later and it's still in the top 500 books on Amazon. I wouldn't change a word and it's years later. It just helps so many people with their food noise.

PD: Isn't it amazing that five years ago you were broke?
BF: Four years ago. My accountant came to me the other day and said your tax return in 2007 was negative $50,000, and it was way worse the year before.

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]]>A Place of YesBethenny FrankelinterviewNicki GostinFri, 25 Mar 2011 16:00:00 ESTBarbara Harris on Adopting Drug-Addicted Babies and Why She Started Project Preventionhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/24/barbara-harris-project-prevention/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/24/barbara-harris-project-prevention/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/24/barbara-harris-project-prevention/#commentsFiled under:

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Barbara and Smitty Harris are surrounded by their adopted children. Courtesy of Barbara Harris

Twenty-one years ago, when Destiny Harris was born, she tested positive for crack, PCP and heroin.

At 8 months, she was adopted by Barbara and Smitty Harris, who had served as foster parents to the girl and already had six sons between them. In the next few years, they adopted three more children, two boys and another girl, all from the same birth mother as Destiny.

Barbara Harris became frustrated with a system that allowed drug-addicted mothers to have drug-addicted babies who were put into foster care. So, she started Project Prevention, an organization that pays female drug addicts to go on birth control.

Harris recently spoke to ParentDish about the charity and answers her critics. An edited version of the conversation follows.

ParentDish: How did you come to adopt these children?
Barbara Harris: When I met my husband, he had three sons. I had one (from a previous relationship) and, together, we had two sons. At that point, I realized we were never going to have a daughter, so that's what led me to becoming a foster parent -- I knew I could say I wanted a little girl and get one.

Before becoming a foster parent, I never thought, as a lot of people don't, about the fact that women who are using drugs are having babies. It never entered my mind. So when we got our first little baby, Destiny, in 1989, we learned that her mother had five total children. (Destiny) had four older sisters and we learned that when she was born she tested positive for crack, PCP and heroin. So, that was the first time I thought about women who are using drugs, conceiving children and basically marinating them in drugs until they give birth to them.

PD: And the babies kept coming.
BH: Four months after we got Destiny, we got a phone call saying that the mother had had her sixth baby, a little boy, and did we want him? And we decided to bring him home because I wanted them to be together. And then, the next year, we got a call that she'd had another baby girl and did we want her? And I decided we couldn't say no. And then, the next year, we got a call she'd had her eighth baby, and did we want him? So, we brought him home. That's how we ended up with all four of them and we adopted them and they're one year after the other.

PD: Did she have more kids?
BH: She didn't, because if she would have they'd be living with me because I wouldn't have said no. My husband was very grateful that she stopped, as he said, "Barbara, I'm not buying a school bus."

PD: Did you see your kids go through drug withdrawal?
BH: When I bought Isaiah home, I saw how he suffered. I had to watch him withdraw from drugs and the way he suffered and the way his eyes looked like they were going to bulge out of his head. He couldn't keep food down and he screamed and he wouldn't sleep and, oh, my gosh, I was so upset.

At first, I was angry at the mom, how dare you do this, six babies! But then I started focusing my energy towards the system that allows them to do this. Why do we allow women who are drug addicts or alcoholics who are acting totally irresponsibly to walk into the local hospital every year and drop off a damaged baby and walk away without any consequences?

PD: And, so you decided to take action.
BH: Everyone was complaining, the social workers, the hospitals, the courts. I thought, complaining doesn't change anything. So, I tried to get legislation passed in California, where I was living at the time, which would have made it mandatory that if a woman gives birth to a child with fetal alcohol syndrome or tests positive for drugs, she had to use long term birth control, and that's how I wrote the bill.

The politicians took it and added they'd have to go to jail. I don't believe jail is the answer, because if you start locking them up, they'll stop going to the hospital. The bill almost passed and then it didn't. I asked the law professors I'd been working with if I could offer these women money to use birth control and they told me I could do it.

PD: What do you say to people who say your organization is unethical?
BH: My opinion is, with rights come responsibilities, and if you're acting irresponsibly, then you should lose that right 'til you act responsibly. I guess it depends on where your heart is. Some people are so into the women and their rights to get pregnant that they seem to forget about the rights of the kids. They act like these children don't matter.

People need to realize these women don't want to have babies that are taken away from them. Nothing positive comes to the woman who has eight children taken away from her. Typically, it sends her deeper into her addiction because she feels regret and sadness about losing yet another child.

PD: How does money play into it?
BH: Yes, it takes money to get their attention, but it's something they know they need to do. They're not thinking about the birth or the child. They're thinking about how they are going to get high and who they are going to rob and prostitute with; that's their whole life.

They're consumed with that, so, when they hear "money," it gets their attention and they listen to the message. A lot of them tell me if it wasn't for the money, they wouldn't have done it, but, to me, if you can spend $300 to prevent child abuse, then it's the best $300 you can spend.

PD: Are some women sterilized?
BH: They can be if they want to. One third of the women who have come through our program choose to do so, but before doing that they had numerous children. None of them didn't have children before doing so.

They choose either the implant in the arm or an IUD, and those women can get paid $300 a year, because as long as they keep it in, we keep paying them.

PD: Do you offer rehab?
BH: Yes, we offer referrals to drug rehab programs. A lot of the women who come to us are in drug rehab programs and they often relapse and go back out and use drugs before we can get their check to them. At least they are on birth control, so we know they're not going to get pregnant again.

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]]>barbara harrisbirth controldrug addictioninterviewproject preventionNicki GostinThu, 24 Mar 2011 16:30:00 ESTAussie Lesbian Couple Gives Birth to Quintuplets Without IVFhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/14/aussie-lesbian-couple-gives-birth-to-quintuplets-without-ivf/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/14/aussie-lesbian-couple-gives-birth-to-quintuplets-without-ivf/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/14/aussie-lesbian-couple-gives-birth-to-quintuplets-without-ivf/#commentsFiled under: ,

pregnant stomach woman picture

Five babies equal one big belly. Credit: jupiterimages

The odds of having quintuplets are a staggering one in 60 million, but a lesbian couple from Down Under conceived five babies without IVF.

Melissa Keevers, 27, delivered boys Noah, Charlie and girls Eireann, Evie and Abby at a Brisbane hospital on Jan. 2 at 26 weeks, Australian Woman's Day magazine reports.

The preemies, who ranged in weight from just more than 1.8 pounds to just under 2 pounds, were delivered by a team of 25 doctors and nurses, joined Lily, their 18-month-old big sister. Keevers and her partner, Rosemary Nolan, 22, tell the magazine they were very teary-eyed when the babies were born.

"It was such a journey before they arrived that when we actually met them we realized what it was all for," Nolan tells Woman's Day.

The couple was not able to hold the babies for the first week, the magazine reports, as the quintuplets were in intensive care.

"After just having five babies it's hard to only be able to visit them and touch them through a hole in the crib," Keevers tells Woman's Day, adding that when they finally were allowed to give them a cuddle "you can't put into words what it's like to finally hold them."

The babies are thriving, according to the magazine, having put on weight, and Noah, the oldest and heaviest, is out of the incubator and being breast-fed, although doctors have still not said when the children can go home.

The babies' father is a 27-year-old U.S. law student who is also the biological father of Lily, Woman's Day reports, adding that the couple met him through an Internet fertility company and he apparently has signed away all rights.

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]]>lesbian couplelesbian quintupletsLesbianCoupleLesbianQuintupletsquinupletssame sex coupleSameSexCouplesperm donorSpermDonorNicki GostinMon, 14 Mar 2011 16:00:00 ESTJoan Cusack on 'Mars Needs Moms,' Raising Kids and Her Famous Brotherhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/11/joan-cusack-on-mars-needs-moms-raising-kids-and-her-famous-br/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/11/joan-cusack-on-mars-needs-moms-raising-kids-and-her-famous-br/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/11/joan-cusack-on-mars-needs-moms-raising-kids-and-her-famous-br/#commentsFiled under:

Joan Cusack

Joan Cusack attends the Los Angeles premiere of "Mars Needs Moms." Credit: Jeff Kravitz, FilmMagic

In Disney's new animated kids' movie "Mars Needs Moms," Joan Cusack lends her voice to the character of Mom, a mother who is kidnapped by aliens and rescued by her previously unappreciative son.

In real life, the actress beloved for her comedic turns in modern day classics such as "Broadcast News," "Working Girl" and as the voice of Jessie the Cowgirl in the "Toy Story" movies, is mom to Dylan, 13, and Miles, 10.

ParentDish recently caught up with Cusack, 48, to talk about her voice-over work, motherhood and growing up with that famous brother of hers. An edited version of the interview follows.

ParentDish: Why do you think you do so many cartoon voices?
Joan Cusack: Well, this one is a performance capture -- that's what they call it. It's not really a cartoon. It's not like a regular film, although you do perform the whole thing. Some of it is just that technology's changing and there are more of these kinds of movies and there have been a lot of animated movies in general.

PD: You're wrong. It's because you have a great distinctive voice.
JC: Oh! There you go! I never really think of that. See, it's my Chicago accent, which my mother would be appalled at. She says my As are all flat.

PD: Was it amazing to be involved with something as successful and beloved as "Toy Story?"
JC: If you had told me 15 years ago when I did "Toy Story 2" that it would have been this big, I never would have believed it.

PD: Did you audition for the role?
JC: I don't think so. I think they liked that I had a Chicago accent for a cowgirl.

PD: "Mars Needs Moms" is all about how kids don't appreciate their moms. Do your kids appreciate you?
JC: I think that they do. I think it's probably more if you're really doing your job right as a mom ...

PD: ... They should hate you a little bit.
JC: Yes. Because you're not their friend. It kind of reminds me of "The Wizard of Oz" a little bit -- this dream world in which kids think, "Oh, it's so hard to be a kid. Wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to learn all these things and just be free?" But then kids, of course, really need that structure and guidance and love and having someone who cares that much about them.

I think there are plenty of moments when you feel like you're a nagging, harsh, repeating-something-40-times person, but then there are also the moments when you really are saying something to them and they understand it and they appreciate you and it's the best thing in the whole world.

PD: What's the worst thing about motherhood?
JC: For me, it's making dinner. I'm not a good cook. I don't want to even talk about it, it's just too painful. I try to be good, but for me it's the worst part about being a mom.

PD: Do your kids agree with your assessment?
JC: Yes.

PD: Has your brother (John Cusack) ever made a movie you haven't been in?
JC: Oh, yes, but he's sweet because if he's producing a movie I usually have a part in it.

PD: Would you be like, "What's up with that?" if he produced a movie and didn't put you in?
JC: Yes, I would. I would feel hurt.

PD: Were you close growing up?
JC: We grew up -- there were five of us and he's four years younger than me -- and he was a boy. He just wasn't on my radar and, obviously, we were never up for the same parts. But then, at a certain point, the movie industry is so illusory and it's nice to have someone else who's in it, who can figure it out and understand it. It's like having a comrade.

PD: What are you working on now?
JC: I did this Showtime series, "Shameless," but mostly I'm a mom full time because I feel like it goes so fast. I've had to say no to a few things here and there over the years because of timing, but I've been very fortunate.

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]]>joan cusackJoanCusackjohn cusackJohnCusackmars needs momsMarsNeedsMomstoy storyToyStoryNicki GostinFri, 11 Mar 2011 13:00:00 ESTMeredith Baxter on Abuse, Alcoholism and Coming Outhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/03/meredith-baxter/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/03/meredith-baxter/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/03/meredith-baxter/#commentsFiled under:

Meredith Baxter

Meredith Baxter writes of her struggles in her new memoir, "Untied." Credit: Angela Weiss, WireImage

In the '80s, Meredith Baxter starred as Elyse Keaton, the supermom on "Family Ties," one of the decade's most successful sitcoms.

But her personal life was a far cry from the one she acted out on TV. A mother of five, Baxter, 63, says she was trapped in a verbally and physically abusive marriage to actor David Birney (father to her three youngest kids). Birney denies the charges.

In the years that followed, Baxter eventually divorced Birney, conquered a drinking problem, had another lousy marriage, successfully battled breast cancer and came to realize she was gay.

In a happy relationship with Nancy Locke for the last five years, Baxter has penned the memoir "Untied." She recently spoke to ParentDish about her struggles -- holding nothing back. An edited version of the interview follows.

ParentDish: Your childhood was really dysfunctional.
Meredith Baxter: Yeah, it was pretty sad. I wasn't allowed to call my mother "Mom" because she was an actress and she felt that if we called her by her first name -- her stage name, Whitney -- then maybe people would mistake her as our aunt or our sister as opposed to our mother, which would age her. That was something she really wanted to avoid.

PD: You write of battling self-esteem issues all your life. Do you think that was a cause?
MB: Oh, no question. I interpreted -- this was not her intention -- but I interpreted it that she did not love me, she did not want to be my mother. It totally affected my sense of self, of self value and sense of lovability. Consequently, I sort of developed a belief system based on these things that dictated the trajectory of my life.

PD: You're gorgeous. How did you not see that?
MB: I thought I was OK. I knew I had some kind of value, but it probably went all to my breasts. But I was looking at some pictures and trying to put them together for the book and I found a bunch of stuff I'd done after "Bridget Loves Bernie," and I was like, "Whoa! I didn't know I was that cute!"

PD: Don't you feel like, oh, my God, what an idiot I was?
MB: Yeah, all that wasted time. I could have been out there; I could have been a porn star! (Laughs). When I was younger, I met a hooker who was trying to draft me and I was kind of considering it, "Um, OK. Maybe. Why not?"

PD: You were so insecure for so long.
MB: I know. It just makes me sad for the lost time. I held on to that kind of childish perception long after most people have left it behind them. I think it's because I saw myself as a victim and, to a degree, I was comfortable in that because I didn't really know anything else. If I'm a victim, then you feel sorry for me and maybe you'll take care of me. And that's how I went into my marriage with David: ... "I don't think I'm very smart, you don't seem to think I'm very smart, so I'm in the right place."

PD: You were married for 15 years and you had the financial resources to leave. Why didn't you?
MB: Here's the truth: It never occurred to me. It never dawned on me that I had the money. It just never occurred to me. I was so limited in what I thought. I have no excuse for it except I was just basically trying to get through the day.

PD: What was the last straw?
MB: It's like when you put a stack of pennies and make them so tall and then, all of a sudden, you put one more penny on and it falls over. It was no different than anything else. I couldn't sustain it anymore. It was one Thanksgiving, 15 years into our marriage, when it was emotionally bruising again and I was crying and David was making some challenge, like, what are we going to do next year so it won't be as disastrous as this year? I didn't know what disaster he was talking about, but it didn't matter because he saw it that way and my oldest daughter just turned and said to me, "What are you waiting for?"

PD: You were 19 when you had your son Ted. Did you have any idea what you were doing?
MB: Oh, God, no. And here's how my kids are so much smarter that me: First of all, they didn't go into show business and they waited to have kids much later than I did.

PD: It seems your alcoholism crept up on you.
MB: I had periodic stuff when I was a teenager, but I didn't really get how it worked 'til later -- "Oh, there's a cause and effect here. I can feel better by doing this as opposed to 'let's party.' " It took me a while to realize that it was an effective tool to change the way I felt.

PD: You entered into another terrible marriage after you were sober.
MB: I believed I was unloved and unlovable and had no value. So, I'm a shredded person before you put anything else on me, before you put me in any other kind of abusive relationship. I was sober for 10 years before I really started working on myself.

PD: Did your lack of self-esteem influence you as a parent?
MB: I wasn't able to stand up for my kids. I wasn't able to get between them and their dad. All I could do was to witness it. That was the difference between me and my mother. She was in her room, she wouldn't come out, and so it all happened without her seeing it. I watched it.

PD: But you didn't have the strength to deal with it.
MB: No, I was afraid.

PD: When did you realize you were gay?
MB: I didn't realize when I was younger. I was so shut down. It wasn't until this young sports woman moved into my guest house and I knew she was gay and she was very attractive and I realized I wanted to know where she was all the time. Once in a while we'd go to the movies and it was like, "Whoa, I'm having a big reaction to this." Then, I was away working and a flurry of texts started back and forth between us and I thought, "OK, I'm not making this up." So, I had to go back home and address it, and I guess that's when it started.

PD: You've been with your partner, Nancy Locke, for five years.
MB: This is the best chapter and it's very interesting because I've never had this much attention before. All this press stuff is a little heady. It messes with my ego. I don't want to get an inflated ego, with my Adonis DNA.

PD: Were you surprised how much attention you received when you came out?
MB: Yes, and it was not until I started getting people coming up to me and saying, "Thank you for doing this -- it means a lot to the gay community," that I got it. When Nancy and I did "Oprah," our friends were saying, "This is great. People get to see a healthy, loving lesbian relationship." I hadn't thought of it that way. We get to kind of go and be of service.

PD: My favorite Lifetime movies are the ones where you play Betty Broderick.
MB: Thank you. I have to attribute that to being so fueled by anger at David. You could feel me crackle because I was so pissed and I got to act it out.

PD: Was it strange to be so miserable at home and then play a happy mom on "Family Ties?"
MB: It was wonderful. It gave me a place to go. I was terrified when the show was going to be over. I signed up for a seventh season and I never discussed it with David because I could not imagine my life with having no place to go. It was just so hard at home and I had no friends. I would compartmentalize. I could just be a different person there. I had someone waiting at home who had such contempt for me.

My goal is, I hope, some other people recognize this and will now know that there is a way out of this. It took me a long time of misery that probably didn't need to happen.

PD: Because of your self-esteem issues, did you have trouble disciplining your kids?
MB: Oh, gosh yes. When one of my kids would not do as I asked, I would feel this wave of anger and humiliation and it was all about me. It was not, "Look, you need to take care of this thing, you need to do what I've asked you to do." I was feeling this well of shame of, "What's wrong with me that doesn't make you do what I want you to do?"

... When my oldest daughter was a baby, she was colicky and crying. I felt like I was an inadequate mother; I couldn't comfort her. I made it about me.

PD: Listen, nothing is harder than motherhood and you have five kids!
MB: I know! What was I thinking? (Laughs.)

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]]>celebrity memoirsCelebrityMemoirscoming outComingOutfamily tiesFamilyTiesmeredith baxterMeredithBaxteruntiedNicki GostinThu, 03 Mar 2011 11:00:00 ESTMackenzie Phillips Talks Addiction, Incest and Why She's Not a Victimhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/24/mackenzie-phillips-incest/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/24/mackenzie-phillips-incest/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/24/mackenzie-phillips-incest/#commentsFiled under:

Mackenzie Phillips says she has no regrets in life. Credit: Michael Tullberg, Getty Images

Mackenzie Phillips was born into rock and roll royalty.

The daughter of "Papa" John Phillips, the legendary Mamas and the Papas founder, she became a child star, appearing in "American Graffiti," and achieved even more fame when she co-starred as Julie Cooper on "One Day at a Time." But a spiraling drug addiction got her fired from the TV series -- twice.

Last year, Phillips released her memoir, "High on Arrival," in which she writes of her decades-long drug addiction and makes the shocking revelation that, as an adult, she had sexual relations with her father. The book, now out in paperback, includes a new chapter with updates since its original release.

Phillips also writes honestly about her struggles to stay clean. A 10-year stretch of sobriety was shattered when she was prescribed pain killers, and slowly spiraled into a heroin addiction that had her shooting up every 20 minutes.

It was only when she was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport on the way to a "One Day at a Time" reunion on the "Rachael Ray Show" that she finally got clean again and says she has remained so ever since.

ParentDish recently caught up with Phillips, who lives in Los Angeles with her son, Shane, 24, a musician. An edited version of the interview follows.

ParentDish: In the new chapter of your book, you write that none of your siblings are talking to you now.
Mackenzie Phillips: I don't have any contact with any of my siblings, including Chynna (Phillips).

PD: Even though she publicly supported you when the book first came out?
MP: Yeah. Chynna's a wonderful girl. When my book was coming out she had a Christian album coming out, and then we stayed in contact. And then she went into rehab for anxiety and I haven't spoken to her since. She recently went on a press tour for Wilson Phillips and said some pretty interesting things, including she and I had discussed things and we were taking a break. That was news to me. And she went on "Howard Stern" and said that I wrote the book for money.

PD: That must be really hard.
MP: It's so hard. I have a 24-year-old son, and these are his aunts and uncles and he hasn't spoken to them either. He said to me the other day, "Mom, don't you realize how less dramatic our lives are without them, that we're better off?" And I thought, he's right. Look, I love them and miss them and I wish they were in my life and I wish they would be in contact with me, but they're not. And that's the reality and you have to face it.

PD: Do you have any regrets about writing the memoir?
MP: None, none whatsoever. I'm very sorry it's caused this rift in my family, but I feel beholden to a much bigger community of survivors and addicts who have been given a voice where they felt they had none as a result of someone finally coming forward and saying, look, here's what happened.

PD: Before writing the book, you say you never considered yourself a victim of incest, that you saw yourself as a willing partner.
MP: I write in the added chapter about how I had never gone into the inner workings of the mind of the survivor and using the word "consensual." And I realized, with help from people like Dr. Drew, that I had been led to believe by my father that it was consensual since I wasn't fighting him off. So, therefore I was complicit and I took that on as my reality and beat myself up.

A good friend of mine texted me and sent me a picture of my father and I on the cover of People 30 years ago and I was like, "Wow. I carried this secret around for so many years." And I look at my eyes in that picture and I think, what was I thinking? How was I possibly getting up every day and functioning, as far as I was functioning, with what I'd been going through?

PD: You say you don't want to be called a victim.
MP: ... My dad is a reprehensible, horrible human being. ... Yes, he was a predator. Yes, he abused me sexually. All that is true. Yet, I held the man's hand as he died and mourned his passing. I think that was, in part, due to my inability to confront the reality of what had happened to me.

People say, "Oh, well she waited to write this book until he was dead." If I had written it while he was alive, people would have said, "Why didn't she wait until he was dead?" It's one of those things where you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. I was so sick of people going, "Oh, that Mackenzie Phillips, she is such a fuck-up. What is wrong with that woman?"

And I kept putting out sanitized versions of my healthy psyche in "E True Hollywood Story." And, so, finally, when I was arrested and I felt like my life was over and everything seemed so dark and bleak, the interesting thing is that being arrested was the best thing that ever happened to me. It saved my life.

PD: Do you worry about relapsing again?
MP: I don't worry because I've never walked free in my own life -- having everything on the table -- the incest, the crazy events of my life that are chronicled in "High on Arrival." I've never lived a life with those things on the table. Also, if I spent my time worrying about relapse, I'd probably relapse.

PD: You write that you used drugs until you were six months pregnant.
MP: I never try to make any excuses for it. ... It's difficult to reconcile with who I was to who I am.

(My son) remembers before (he was) 5, when I was using, and after, when I got clean, very clearly. We talk about it. I remember a lot about it. I remember playing peek-a-boo when he was in the bath and I would close the shower curtain and I'd say, "No peeking," and I'd be sitting on the john shooting up with my 2-year-old in the bathtub two feet away from me.

PD: Are you working now?
MP: No, I'm not. I would love to work -- are you kidding me? It's very difficult. I knew my book was not going to be a resume builder or a five-episode arc on "House." But I felt compelled to tell my story as it happened, not as I wish it had happened. So, no, I'm not a working actor at this point. I wish I was. I know I'm good at what I do.

PD: Are you set, as far as money?
MP: I'm OK. I've been blessed. The craziest thing is I share in my father's estate with my siblings and his last wife and that's a nice thing and I'm grateful for it. And the book has done very well, thank God.

PD: You've had a very tumultuous life.
MP: I've had people come up to me and say, "You poor thing. What you've been through." And I say, "Thank you, that's so kind." But I think to myself, don't feel sorry for me. Regardless of the life I've lived, I've also lived a life of ridiculous abundance and a lot of incredible relationships and deep love and friendships and a love for animals that encompasses my daily life. My life is very simple now and my needs are few. We have a great life.

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]]>addictionhigh on arrivalHighOnArrivalincestjohn phillipsJohnPhillipsmackenzie phillipsMackenziePhillipsNicki GostinThu, 24 Feb 2011 16:00:00 ESTStringent Policy Puts Sperm in Short Supply in Melbourne, Australiahttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/23/stringent-policy-puts-sperm-is-in-short-supply-in-melbourne-aus/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/23/stringent-policy-puts-sperm-is-in-short-supply-in-melbourne-aus/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/23/stringent-policy-puts-sperm-is-in-short-supply-in-melbourne-aus/#commentsFiled under: ,

sperm bank

A medical worker works on a dish ready for intracytoplasmic sperm injection. Credit: Georges Gobet, AFP/Getty Images

If you're living in Melbourne, Australia and want to conceive using a sperm bank, you may want to get in line.

The state of Victoria -- where Melbourne is the capital and around 5.5 million people reside -- is experiencing a severe shortage of sperm donors, The Age reports.

There are several reasons for the dearth of sperm. Last year, according to the Australian newspaper, laws were enacted allowing single women and lesbians access to IVF programs, which are partially covered by insurance.

Also, men are no longer allowed to remain anonymous when donating sperm, and are only permitted to give sperm to 10 families, The Age reports, adding that federal law prohibits payment for sperm, although the donor can receive reimbursement costs. Donors are also required to undergo counseling.

"The guiding principles of the act are that the welfare of persons born as a result of treatment is paramount, and they have a right to information about their genetic parents," Louise Johnson, chief executive of the Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority tells The Age.

Just 184 registered sperm donors are left in the state, according to the newspaper, which means patients face up to a nine-month wait. Some people have resorted to flying North to Queensland to obtain sperm.

Victoria prohibits the import of sperm unless approval is granted by the state's Reproductive Treatment Authority, which only granted permission in three cases last year, The Age says. Queensland does not have such a stringent policy and routinely imports sperm from the United States.

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]]>australiain vitroin vitro fertilizationInVitroInVitroFertilizationivfspermsperm donorsSpermDonorsNicki GostinWed, 23 Feb 2011 15:00:00 ESTSamantha Bee on Working at 'The Daily Show,' Raising 3 Kids and Her Strange Childhoodhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/21/samantha-bee/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/21/samantha-bee/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/21/samantha-bee/#commentsFiled under:

Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee juggles raising three kids with her job as a "Daily Show" correspondent. Credit: Neilson Barnard, Getty

"The Daily Show" correspondent Samantha Bee has a gift for letting the people she interviews make fools of themselves.

But in her memoir, "I Know I Am, But What Are You?" -- now available in paperback -- Bee turns the mirror on her own imperfect upbringing in a series of frank and funny essays. The result: a seriously laugh-out-loud book.

ParentDish recently caught up with Bee, who lives in New York City with her husband, fellow "Daily Show" correspondent Jason Jones, and their three children, Piper, 5, Fletcher, 2 ½, and Ripley, 6 months. An edited version of the interview follows.

ParentDish: No offense, but you were a strange kid.
Samantha Bee: No offense taken. It's absolutely correct. Indoor kid. Basically, the child who would sit up in the belfry looking out at the other children as they played in the sunshine as I read some kind of Gothic novel.

PD: Were you really pasty?
SB: Absolutely. There was one year where I actually got a tan because my father made me go to day camp and everyone was like, "Oh, my God. What happened to you?"

PD: You have three kids younger than 5. How do you form complete sentences?
SB: I don't know. I do eat a lot of chocolate-covered pretzels. I do know that.

PD: Did you plan to have them so close together?
SB: No, you can't really plan these things. I guess it would have been part of the rough plan. We didn't think it through too much. After Piper was born and when we felt ready to try again we were like, "Let's just do it. I don't know, let's see what happens. If we have it in three years that's fine, if we have it right away, that's fine." ... Ripley was a bit of a surprise. The happiest surprise.

PD: Think you'll have any more?
SB: I believe the shop is closed. I believe that my genitals are retiring. My womb has retired. Sorry, hold on. (To her daughter) "One second, I'm talking. I'll be right with you." I try not to do that, but sometimes you have to.

PD: How do you switch over from work to home?
SB: I think the one thing I'm very good at -- and, you know, I'm 41, so it's not like I'm trying to do it at a very young age or anything -- I'm very good at compartmentalizing things and Jason is very, very good at that, too. We're very much capable to work, work, work at work and come home and completely change gears.

PD: Work together, do you ever get sick of each other?
SB: We see each other all the time. But, you know, we really do enjoy each other's company. It's disgusting, actually. Though there are times, definitely, I mean, we live right up the street from where we work and I'll be like, "Jason, if you just wait five minutes, I can walk with you." And he's like, "I don't want to walk with you." And I'm like, "What do you mean? We can go get some lunch." And he's like, "I don't need to talk. I need to be alone. I need some peace and quiet." So we give each other private space.

PD: How do you do it?
SB: We have amazing help. People are always like, "How do you do it?" And I'm like, "It's not like we tie the kids to the radiator and hope they'll be fine when we get home." I mean, our families are great, we have a great baby sitter. It's a little Bee-Jones village. It really works for us.

PD: Is your work parent-friendly?
SB: I give my job a lot of credit. They're amazing. Barring some kind of huge interview with someone who had to be flown in from across the country, they're so gracious about that kind of stuff. There are just so many family people at work. Everyone kind of gets it that some days your child is really sick and you need to stay home with them.

PD: How did you and Jason meet?
SB: We met doing children's theater. It was horrible and humiliating. I mean, bottom-of-the-barrel children's theater. ... We were all we had. I was the star of the show, I played Sailor Moon in the live action version of the already terrible TV show and Jason was my love interest. It was a very natural progression -- so romantic being pursued by that evil queen -- it really brought us together.

PD: Would you hate it if your kids grew up loving "Two and a Half Men?"
SB: There's no doubt in our minds that that is how things will work out, because that will be the ultimate betrayal. It's not readily apparent yet but probably in two or three years it'll be like, "Mom and Dad, I'm really into tax law and trademark law."

PD: Any TV shows banned in your house?
SB: We took a lot of shows off the keel.

PD: Like?
SB: Umm (sotto voice) D-o-r-a. There are certain things that we believe make you dumber and that is one of them. Actually, our kids watch a lot of movies, but if the movies don't pass the Mommy and Daddy tolerance test, then it's gone. It just disappears.

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]]>celebritiesjason jonesJasonJonessamantha beeSamanthaBeethe daily showNicki GostinMon, 21 Feb 2011 16:00:00 ESTAnne Heche Talks Motherhood, 'Cedar Rapids' and Working Since She Was a Tweenhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/11/anne-heche/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/11/anne-heche/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/11/anne-heche/#commentsFiled under:

anne heche picture

Anne Heche stars in the new comedy "Cedar Rapids." Credit: Danny Moloshok, AP

A lot of people still remember Anne Heche for her high-profile romance with Ellen DeGeneres in the late 1990s and her confession to Barbara Walters that she had an alter ego named "Celestia," but that was a long time ago and since then she has reinvented herself as a terrific actress and mother of two sons (Homer, 8, with ex-husband Coleman Laffoon, and Atlas, 1, with boyfriend James Tupper). She can be seen in the hilarious new movie "Cedar Rapids" with Ed Helms and, and she also appears on the HBO series, "Hung."

ParentDish: Hi, Anne. How are you?
Anne Heche: I'm terrific. How are you?

PD: Not so good. My son just spilled a big glass of milk on our leather couch.
AH: Do you know what I call that? Milk art. My baby boy, Addy (Atlas) is almost 2 and I find it everywhere. On the floor, on couches, on fabrics -- it makes its own pattern. Also it creates its own stench. If you don't get something on it right away it permeates the whole room. My almost 9-year-old, Homer thinks it's so funny because Addy will come down the steps and he'll drag his bottle so the milk runs down and he calls out, "Mom! Milk art on the steps!"

PD: You have a big age difference between your kids -- seven years. Did it feel like starting all over again?
AH: It was a little bit. It is a big difference. To be honest I didn't think I was going to have any more children after Homer. After I had him I really needed to get my career back on track and I was the only one making a living so it didn't even occur to me that I would have the opportunity or the freedom or ability to be supported through having another child. It didn't even occur to me until I met James and then all of a sudden it was like, 'Oh my god, you're such a good dad to Homer. How am I ever not going to let you have your own child?'

He had such a wonderful and intense and beautiful connection with Homer. We call him dad-step because he can't stand stepdad. He's been [Homer's] stepfather since he was in preschool. They're so tight and James is so cool with children. I really did think he deserved to have one of his own and also he had a job, so all of a sudden these possibilities began opening up for me.

PD: How are the kids together?
AH: They're so cool together. Homer can be jealous sometimes, but he's a kind, loving brother. It's incredible to watch the two of them together build a relationship. The older one understands it's going to be a bond and the younger one doesn't understand anything except 'I love my older brother so much that I want to do anything he's doing.' Which drives the older one crazy. It's magical.

PD: You have had a really long career.
AH: Sometimes I walk into a room and people say, "Oh my god you look so young!" and I'm like "Well, how old do you think I am?" But it's true -- I've been around for so long that I think people think I'm a grandma. I've been working for so long!

PD: When did you start working?
AH: I started when I was 12. I started supporting my family when I was 12, working in dinner theater in New Jersey. I made 100 bucks a week and that was more that anyone else made as a paycheck, and then I really started working professionally when I was 17 and moved to New York the day after graduation. I starred on a soap and then I really made more money than anybody else in my family and that was still only 400 bucks a week. A lot of years of working for a living.

PD: Are you exhausted?
AH: No, I'm invigorated by it. Sometimes I look back and go, wow, I've gone through so many phases of this career and I can't even believe how many chances and opportunities and good fortune I've had and I feel like another one is dawning. People are seeing me now as a comedienne. These doors are kind of opening for me now, and I think how I'm in another phase and I can't believe it, pinch me. It's so cool.

PD: Describe your character in "Cedar Rapids."
AH: Joan is a woman that I've really come to appreciate. She's Midwestern and Midwestern women seem to have different boundaries, different rules for themselves than women who live in the city. I really wanted to respect that. I really wanted to have a woman who made a choice to be a committed mother, wife and businesswoman and, for her own survival within that commitment, do something that's a little outside of herself. Even though she's written as a broad, crazy and wild woman, I don't think Midwestern women are, so I wanted to portray somebody who made a choice to go a little bit outside of herself in order to be able to live the life she lives.

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]]>anne heacheAnneHeachecedar rapidsCedarRapidscoley laffoonColeyLaffoonellen degeneresEllenDegenereshungNicki GostinFri, 11 Feb 2011 09:00:00 ESTLisa Kudrow on 'Who Do You Think You Are,' 'Friends' and Being Blondhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/04/lisa-kudrow/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/04/lisa-kudrow/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/04/lisa-kudrow/#commentsFiled under:

Lisa Kudrow

Lisa Kudrow helps celebs research their family histories in "Who Do You Think You Are?" Credit: Nicole Rivelli, AP Photo/NBC

Lisa Kudrow played Phoebe on "Friends," but in real life, the actress is nothing like her famously ditzy character.

A Vassar College grad with a Bachelor of Science degree in psychobiology, Kudrow's one of the executive producers behind NBC's "Who Do You Think You Are," a show that helps celebrities research their family ancestry -- often with surprising and heartbreaking results.

The second season, premiering tonight, features Gwyneth Paltrow, Rosie O'Donnell and Vanessa Williams.

Kudrow has been married since 1995 to French advertising executive Michel Stern and is the mother to Julian. ParentDish recently caught up with her to discuss the show, keeping in touch with the "Friends" cast and what she's watching on TV. An edited version of the interview follows.

PD: How old is your son?
LK: He's 12 ½. He's interested in acting. He likes directing and writing and designing video games. I'm not signing him up for anything right now, although I think he could handle it because he likes attention, but he doesn't need it.

PD: Are you a Jewish Tiger mother? Do you expect good grades?
LK: I certainly expect effort, but, to me, a Jewish mother is, "Well, are you happy? No, then don't do it. All right, so you didn't get a good grade, then you will next time."

ParentDish: "Who Do You Think You Are" was originally a British show. How did you get to produce it here?
Lisa Kudrow: I was working in Ireland and I saw it on the BBC and I thought it was the best show I'd ever seen. I got in touch with the British producer and he said that he'd love to do it in the U.S. We (Kudrow and her producing partners) reasoned with the network that there are a lot of people here who are famous and intellectually curious and very successful and it would attract an audience and they'd be fantastic subjects.

We got in touch with the celebrities and showed them that it wasn't an exploitative appearance on a reality show. It's not really about them and their current lives. It's about them as narrators or guides as we look at historical events experienced by their ancestors.

PD: I can say this because I'm Jewish, but nothing beats a good Holocaust story.
LK: It's intense.

PD: Yeah, you can't beat that.
LK: I think the slavery stories are pretty intense.

PD: Yes, Holocaust and slavery stories, nothing beats that.
LK: (Laughs.) If it's a contest, then yes. I don't view it that way. You know, what it is with the Holocaust and slavery is that these people were victims and that's all there is to it.

PD: You're smart.
LK: Well, I have a bachelor's degree in biology.

PD: I failed biology. You're smart.
LK: Yeah, well, it wasn't just writing essays. See, I just put down writing essays.

PD: When you first went to Hollywood, were you like, "I can't believe how dumb people are here?"
LK: No. Look, I went to a high school that wasn't known for academic achievement. That's why I wanted to go East for college. So, it wasn't coming to Hollywood that made me realize there were people who weren't intellectually curious.

PD: In her memoir, Kathy Griffin said you dyed your hair and became successful.
LK: Uh-huh. It's kind of true. It started getting lighter and lighter because I was exercising outside and I'd go get color and I'd say, "Match this." And it just got blonder. I don't think casting agents treated me differently. I think I literally lightened up once I lightened my hair. I played dumb characters with a very small role. You can make it really funny in almost no words and it's easier to pull off if you're blond. I think that's how it happened. It wasn't calculated.

PD: Do you stay in touch with the "Friends" cast?
LK: A little bit, not a lot. I mean, I don't. Matt LeBlanc said something really funny: We were trapped in a building together for 10 years and once they let you out, you go your separate ways. We get along; we do like each other and care about each other. I hang out with moms from school and friends I've had a long time.

PD: You also star in "Web Therapy," a weekly online show.
LK: It's by design. I can produce "Who Do You Think You Are," and "Web Therapy" does not take a long time to shoot -- like a weekend. These two things are perfect for me right now because if I were to seriously pursue being in movies and stuff, they don't shoot a lot in L.A.

The last time I did a couple of independent films and they shot in New York and I shot my "Who Do You Think You Are" episode, and I ended up being away for two months and that was too much. I can't do that to my son or my husband or myself. So, this is how it works right now. It's great. I'm not, "Poor me I can't be in a movie."

PD: What are you watching on TV right now?
LK: "Downton Abbey."

PD: Me, too! I love it.
LK: I know! And because I've never watched it, I'm getting the DVDs of "Upstairs Downstairs." Can you believe I've never seen it? I've also been watching documentary on Susan B. Anthony. Oh, my God, I never really took it in that women had absolutely no rights, no rights at all. It makes me realize how lucky we are.

PD: Can I sound cheesy? You have great timing. You make a nothing line funny. It's genius.
LK: (Laughs.) Thanks. Well, I know how to sound like an idiot.

PD: Do you think that's the key to your success?
LK: (Pause) Um, yeah.

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]]>friendslisa kudrowLisaKudrowwho do you think you areWhoDoYouThinkYouAreNicki GostinFri, 04 Feb 2011 15:30:00 ESTSpike and Tonya Lee Discuss Their New Children's Bookhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/18/spike-and-tonya-lee-discuss-their-new-childrens-book/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/18/spike-and-tonya-lee-discuss-their-new-childrens-book/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/18/spike-and-tonya-lee-discuss-their-new-childrens-book/#commentsFiled under: ,

Spike and Tonya Lee have written a new children's book. Credit: Bryan Bedder, Getty Images

"Giant Steps to Change the World," a new children's book from director Spike Lee and his wife, Tonya Lewis Lee, is a beautifully illustrated read offering inspiration and hope by recounting the struggles of famous folks.

Among others, we're reminded of Albert Einstein, who had a "hard time learning to read, but whose theories became the basis for most of modern science," and Muhammad Ali, "the heavyweight champion who refused to pick up a gun against a fellow human being."

The Lees have been married since 1993, are parents to 16-year-old daughter, Satchel, and 13-year-old son, Jackson. They recently spoke with ParentDish about the book and getting their son to read. An edited version of the interview follows.

ParentDish: How did this book come about?
Tonya Lewis Lee: There was an editor at Simon & Schuster, where Spike and I had written two other children's books, who suggested we do something using historical figures. So we brainstormed and decided we wanted to write something that inspired people, but also paid homage to those that came before us.

PD: Was it hard to whittle down the list?
Spike Lee: Couldn't have everybody, but a lot more people could have been in it if it was a bigger book.

PD: So, you can include them in the sequel.
SL: Depends on how many books are sold.

PD: Did you fight over who to include?
SL: No, we don't fight. Whatever she wants to do, we do.

PD: There is a real diversity in who is included.
TLL: I think all of us get inspiration from all kinds of people. I've personally been inspired by people of all races and nationalities. We need to give it up to everyone.

PD: You included Barack Obama. You know that could be considered controversial.
SL: Why?

PD: Well, there are a lot of tea partiers who hate him.
SL: Well, they aren't buying this book, anyway.
TLL: He's still an inspiration!

PD: You have a 13-year-old son. Is it hard to get him to read?
TLL: Yeah, it's tough because he doesn't like to read. I know people are doing books for boys, but somehow it's just hard to get their attention. I find my son likes nonfiction a little bit. I just made him go through Amazon and find something he wanted to read and he came up with, "Sh*t My Dad Says." At least it's something.

PD: Would you care if he read comic books?
SL: I wish he would read comic books.

PD: My son loves your book "Please, Baby, Please."
TLL: At the time we embarked on it, our son was about 2. He was in that phase where he was into everything. I was talking to other parents of children that age and I realized I was not the only one who was trying to keep up with this curious 2 year old. So we wanted to do a book about a day in the life of a curious, energetic 2 year old.

PD: Spike, you've been working on documentaries lately. Has that been a rewarding experience?
SL: Well, the subject matter is not enjoyable, but it's been fulfilling doing the films.

PD: Do you feel with documentaries you can really change policy and opinions?
SL: That's still up for debate.
TLL: But you have. With "4 Little Girls," they did get going on that trial and they bought people to justice. It had a real impact.

PD: Your kids are teenagers. Do you get a lot of eye rolling?
TLL: A little bit, yes, but we give it right back.

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]]>childrens booksChildrensBooksGiant Steps to Change the WorldGiantStepsToChangeTheWorldkids booksKidsBooksspike leeSpikeLeetonya leeTonyaLeeNicki GostinTue, 18 Jan 2011 16:00:00 ESTWilliam H. Macy on His 'Shameless' Return to TVhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/10/william-h-macy/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/10/william-h-macy/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/10/william-h-macy/#commentsFiled under:

William H. Macy picture

William H. Macy, with his wife, Felicity Huffman, stars in Showtime's new series "Shameless." Credit: Jason Merritt, WireImage.com

With a string of unforgettable roles under his belt in classic movies ranging from "Fargo" to "Boogie Nights," William H. Macy is making a return to television.

The Oscar-nominated actor stars in "Shameless," a raunchy new comedy on Showtime. Macy, 60, is married to "Desperate Housewives" star Felicity Huffman and is father to Sofia, 10, and Georgia, 8.

ParentDish recently caught up with Macy to find out about the new show, playing an alcoholic and not wanting his girls to be child actors. An edited version of the interview follows:

ParentDish: So tell me about your show.
William H. Macy: It's based on a British series of the same title. It's many, many things. It's wildly funny, rather sophisticated humor sometimes, and then, by turns, it's very dramatic and moving. It's about the Gallagher family. I'm Papa Gallagher. The wife left about three years ago and took the minivan, thank you very much, leaving me to tend after the kids, which I don't do at all, ever. That has fallen to my eldest daughter, Fiona, who's played by Emmy Rossum.

PD: You play an alcoholic.
WM: Yes, but he's not strictly an alcoholic. He also likes marijuana and cocaine and Vicodin. He's very broadminded about his drug choices.

PD: Any personal experience to draw upon?
WM: Yes, one time on a ship seven miles out on international waters I took some illegal drugs.

PD: Which ones?
WM: All of them. I grew up in the wild and woolly days of the hippiedom. I graduated high school in 1968 -- that's what they tell me. It's a bit foggy. I've made a career out of representing the disenfranchised, the little guy who doesn't have a voice. You may not like us, but at any given moment there are lots of people all around the world who are getting toasted, drunk out of their minds or high as can be. When you cut us, do we not bleed? So I'm the spokesperson for loaded America.

PD: Why do you think you get cast so often as a loser?
WM: Actually, I don't. I've scored in that role a couple of times. Truthfully, I've had a lovely career. I've gotten to play some tough guys and smart guys. I think I have a talent for taking a seemingly futile journey and making it compelling. It's perhaps a function of what I look like and the way I grew up. I grew up Lutheran and we Lutherans know a bit about guilt and being self conscious.

PD: Have your daughters expressed any interest in acting?
WM: Off and on. They're dramatic, I can tell you that. I've got no problem if they want to go into this business. I love the business certainly. I don't want them to be child actors. If they want to do some plays in school and later on after college, if they want to pursue it, I'll throw whatever weight I have left behind them.

PD: So, if your 10-year-old comes to you now and says she wants to get an agent ...
WM: I don't think so. It's very difficult. We have kids on our show and my hats off to their parents. But the truth of the matter is the parents have to be there all the time. I would certainly not leave my daughter on a set; I'd want to be there every second.

PD: You lived with Felicity for 15 years before you got married. Did she tell you you'd better put a ring on it?
WM: Actually, it was me. We were a couple for a while and split up for a while and when we got back together I was the one who wanted to get married. It took all the talent I possess to persuade her. I said, "I'm going to start making plans, you better get a dress." The bride demon attacked my wife.

PD: What are you reading right now?
WM: My wife and I read to each other. Right now we're reading "The Last Lion." It's about Churchill.

PD: Do you do voices when you read?
WM: Not that much. But we do a lot of voices when we read to the kids. We're a big reading family. I scare the shit out of the kids, so I'm told sometimes not to read. The kids don't watch TV.

PD: Really?
WM: They'll watch the news with me and "America's Funniest Home Videos." But we keep them away from TV because smart people said it's a good thing to do with kids.

PD: How are you enjoying doing a series?
WM: I'm adoring it. My wife is on a series.

PD: Oh really, which one?
WM: "Desperate Housewives."

PD: Ha, ha. Yeah, I know!
WM: Oh, I'm sorry, one never knows.

PD: Hello, that show is huge. It's big all over the world.
WM: In Europe the reaction is bigger than here. They fall about when we travel abroad. Here, she doesn't get recognized much. I get recognized more than she does.

PD: So free pasta and cappuccinos in Italy?
WM: Well, it's pretty crazy. They went nuts in Germany and France, too.

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]]>celebrity parentsCelebrityParentsfelicity huffmanFelicityHuffmanshamelessshowtimewilliam h macyWilliamHMacyNicki GostinMon, 10 Jan 2011 16:00:00 ESTRoseanne Barr on Her New Book, 'Roseannearchy,' Being a Grandma and Why She'd Run Against Sarah Palinhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/roseanne-barr/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/roseanne-barr/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/roseanne-barr/#commentsFiled under:

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr has written the new book, "Roseannarchy." Credit: Jeff Christensen/AP

Say the name Roseanne and at least a few images immediately pop up: Sitcom star, mangler of the National Anthem, trainwreck of a marriage to Tom Arnold and outspoken star are just a few.

The 58-year-old comedienne is back with a new book called "Roseannearchy," a hilarious and often moving tome, in which she muses on class warfare, feminism and the cult of celebrity. The mother of five and grandmother to five grandsons, she says she's "writing funny, hanging out with my family and tending my farm. I'm living a good and happy life."

ParentDish: So I didn't realize you're such a Jewy-Jew.
Roseanne Barr: Haha. A real Jewy-Jew, that's cute. I like that. I am an old Jewish woman.

PD: You're not that old.
RB: Yeah I am. I'm old enough, trust me.

PD: You write a lot about how being a celebrity really screws you up.
RB: You've got to be really strong to survive it, that's for sure.

PD: Did you lose your mind?
RB: Yeah I think everyone does, that gets really famous, not that other kind of famous, not the everyday famous but the other kind.

PD: It may be because I'm not American, but I never understood the fuss over your national anthem rendition.
RB: Well it did turn into the biggest deal. It was very difficult to live through and it still has tentacles in my life, so yeah it was a really big deal. I got death threats. I had to employ several people from the government and the L.A.P.D. to be armed around me at all times.

PD: Aren't there more important things to worry about?
RB: Not to some people who happen to be at the top of things. It cost me a lot. Over the years when I've tried to close deals, it goes real well until it gets to the last two people and then I get turned down. So I have asked people to investigate, people who are on the inside, and they always return to me saying, 'so and so was very offended by your rendition of the National Anthem and does not want to sign you.'

PD: Does feminism today depress you?
RB: Yeah incredibly so, until you actually meet a real feminist -- they're far and few between -- but when you meet a real one, an intelligent one, it's just fantastic, very cool.

PD: Why does it depress you?
RB: Just how ignorant women are of it in this country and know nothing about it whatsoever. It's like Fran Liebowitz said, "It's completely suburban now." It means kind of nothing, really. I mean it kind of means something materially, but as far as the guts of what it's really about -- which is peace and ecology -- none of that crap seems to float up there, it's just about whether you can have 3.5 children, a career and all that middle-class bullshit, so it doesn't have anything to do with overthrowing a corrupt system that despises women, that's all been lost, that's what happens in this kind of society.

PD: Are you still angry?
RB: Am I angry about injustice? Absolutely. Am I angry about corruption? Absolutely. Am I angry about the sex slavery of children? Yeah I'm angry about all the same stuff. Am I angry about the working class being totally disenfranchised from this political process? Yeah.

PD: Do you think you lost your mind when you married Tom Arnold?
RB: I lost my mind way before that, it's not his fault I lost my mind, but I did absolutely lose it. But then I was always a little different because of the fact I'm as you say a Jewy-Jew. I was always a little out there on account of that. I always say I don't know where the line is between just being Jewish and mentally ill.

Tom was just one of the symptoms of me being a crazy person. To be fair, it drove him crazy -- he didn't end up the same person on the other end either. It just does that to people when you get a lot of attention and fame.

PD: Does it seem like a bad dream?
RB: It's more like an exorcism. I think people can heal from fame, but not just being the biggest whore in the planet like some of those girls out there now. These young girls, they're not controversial, they don't actually take shots at power, and they just suck it off so it's a different kind of reality.

PD: Are you a good mom?
RB: I'm probably a bad mother like everybody else, I'm not that great. But then some of the stuff that I would consider makes you a bad mother they say is being a good mother. Like raising your kid to be a conniving little bastard -- that's what they're saying is a good thing for people to do.

PD: Are you a good grandma?
RB: I'm a fantastic grandma. I'm exciting. The thing they like to do most is, I have a Kawasaki Mule on my farm and I'll take them and their parents on it and I'll ride around on the farm and it'll be nice and calm and then the parents will let me take the kids and then we go down some hills. They call me Indy for Indiana Jones, but I always stay safe. I can do burnouts. I don't ever put anyone in peril but I can do some exciting driving. I also like to play rock and roll music loud and then we have dance contests and we like to eat a lot of sugar.

PD: I'm sure their parents appreciate that.
RB: They get mad at me, but I'm like, ''What else am I supposed to do?" I do a lot of baking. I come up with some real sugary treats that kids like, and I like them too.

PD: You don't have kind words for Sarah Palin.
RB: The bitch is stealing my act. It pisses me off. She doesn't have the right material that's for sure. Like I say telling a bunch of rich guys what they want to hear is not being a maverick. I'd like to slap her and if I ever do run into her I will slap her right across the head.

The great joy, the great light at the end of the tunnel is repentance because after repentance is great joy and that comes with just being nice. But Sarah Palin is not nice and so the only place I can legally be mean, according to my religion, is against evil and I think she's an evil person and that's why I'm going to be mean to her.

She's such a frigging smarmy liar and it just makes me mad how she lies to women and they go for it. That's why I'm saying I'm also running for President in 2012 against her. I figure running for President is not that much different from showing up and giving a speech every now and then.

PD: Seriously?
RB: Yeah! I'm running for President of these United States, as well as the Prime Minister of Israel -- it's a twofer and I will bring peace to this planet and the Middle East in one year because I know how. And I know how because I simply do as Hashem or God tells me to do. I suggest that other people do that as well.

Here's my plan for peace in the Middle East: I will gather all the believers, Muslims, Christians, Jews and we will simply have a group prayer asking all the aforementioned gods to come and allow us to have peace on the earth and then we will have a nice meal and treat each other nicely and behold all the miracles that are going to come out of that. That is all we have to do.

PD: Ever miss being on TV?
RB: Every so often I do and then I start working on things and by the time I go to the third meeting I'm kind of over it. If I could just get on TV and be funny, I'd do it, but you have to have all these meetings with lawyers. I don't enjoy that at all.

I'm doing porn now. I've moved on to that because you've got to have a porn tape, otherwise you're not anybody.

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]]>roseanne barrRoseanneBarrSarah PalinSarahPalintom arnoldNicki GostinWed, 05 Jan 2011 16:30:00 ESTMelissa Gilbert Talks Teen Drug Abuse and Why She's Worried About Miley Cyrushttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/16/melissa-gilbert-drug-abuse/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/16/melissa-gilbert-drug-abuse/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/16/melissa-gilbert-drug-abuse/#commentsFiled under: ,

Melissa Gilbert drug abuse

Melissa Gilbert says the holidays can be an especially hard time on teens. Credit: Arnoldi/X17online.com

Melissa Gilbert has spoken candidly about her own drug abuse and battles with alcohol, and, recently, the "Little House on the Prairie" actress became the national spokesperson for The Partnership at Drugfree.org, a nonprofit that helps parents prevent, intervene in and find treatment for drug and alcohol use by their children.

ParentDish spoke to Gilbert, 46, mother of two and step-mother of two, about a new feature on the group's website.

ParentDish: What's new at Drugfree.org?
Melissa Gilbert: Time to get help. It's a new area on the website. It's for parents and loved ones of young people who have reason to believe that their teen or young adult has a problem. It tells you where to go, what resources are best in their local areas, how to get help, how to ask for help, who to talk to, who to turn to. It's a really valuable tool of the website because, once you know there's a problem, if you Google recovery, you're screwed because there's such an abundance of information and it's not filtered.

PD: Also, I assume, recovery for teens is different than for adults.
MG: Recovery for young people is much different. Studies show that the younger person's brain is affected much more adversely from early drug and alcohol use than an adult. When you have kids, it's a scary prospect.

PD: What else is on it?
MG: It's run by the people at the partnership, but there's also a great deal of input and personal stories from parents whose children are in recovery -- about their experiences in their local areas.

It's really important because people still don't see addiction as a disease. Instead, they see it as some sort of test of will and it simply isn't. I use the cerebral palsy analogy a lot. If a young person came into your home who had CP and knocked over a precious vase, odds are you're not going to get really angry. But if someone with alcoholism comes into your house and knocks over the vase while drunk, chances are you're going to get pissed and they have a disease. I'm not likening alcoholism to cerebral palsy in any way, shape or form -- I don't want to have CP activists pounding on my door -- but it is a disease and people don't see it that way.

PD: Don't you think this time of year, it's easier for kids to get away with stuff?
MG: This time of year everybody gets away with it. If the child has grown up with any kind of trauma, this is when there's going to be a trigger. Parents are divorced -- where am I spending Christmas? Or, God forbid, the child has been molested. Any kind of childhood trauma or loss of parent which is traumatic -- the holidays are always difficult.

PD: I interviewed Dr. Drew recently, and he said he has zero drug tolerance for his kids.
MG: Yeah, sounds about right. I'm so crazy about that man. He saved my ass last year when I was going through my broken back stuff. We've still never met face to face. He was on the phone with me constantly, talking me through taking opiates, how long to take them without triggering my addiction. I agree with a zero tolerance policy. It's easy with Michael (Melissa's son). He's 15 and he's under my roof. We check his e-mails, we lurk on his Facebook page, we go through his drawers. He has no real privacy. You have to earn it. The older kids are different, but I'm always watching. I watch really closely.

PD: What are the signs?
MG: The signs are pretty clear. You'll see a drop in grades, mood swings will occur, he'll isolate more, want to be with friends more, more surly, break curfew, struggle with school. Those are red flags. And get to know your kids friends. That's huge. Michael is not allowed to hang out with people I don't know.

PD: Does it make you sad, seeing someone like Lindsay Lohan?
MG: It makes me sad because nobody wants to see someone they admire go through such a difficult time and just fall so far. And, God, Miley Cyrus. You do the math. ... Her mother allegedly had an affair with someone who's recognizable. Her parents separated -- that's her rock, so there's a strike against her right there.

PD: Do you think she has a problem?
MG: If you don't have a problem, you have your wits about you and you know not to have your friends taking photos. It seems to me like she was looking to get caught, subconsciously maybe. I do want to grab all these people up and tuck them away in my house and say, "I got it, I'm with you."

And let's not forget Heath Ledger. What's more tragic than that? All prescription and over-the-counter-drugs -- no illicit narcotics -- mixed in the wrong combination and a brilliant father of a sweet little girl didn't wake up.

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]]>melissa gilbertMelissaGilbertpartnership at drugfree.orgpartnership for a drug-free americaPartnershipAtDrugfree.orgPartnershipForADrug-freeAmericateens and alcohol useteens and drugsTeensAndAlcoholUseTeensAndDrugsNicki GostinThu, 16 Dec 2010 12:30:00 ESTJessica Alba on Why Dealing With a Picky 2-Year-Old is Trickier Than Learning Lineshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/14/jessica-alba/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/14/jessica-alba/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/14/jessica-alba/#commentsFiled under: ,

jessica alba

Jessica Alba shows her funny side in "Little Fockers." Credit: Frank Micelotta, Getty Images



Jessica Alba has mostly been cast in super-sexy or superhero roles, but in "Little Fockers" she gets the chance to show audiences she can be funny, too.

In the second sequel to "Meet the Parents," out Dec. 22, Alba plays a slightly nutty drug rep opposite an uptight Ben Stiller. In real life, the actress, 29, is married to Cash Warren and the mother of Honor Marie, 2.

She spoke to ParentDish recently about her comedic turn and her hatred of "Barney."

ParentDish: So, the last two movies weren't that successful. Bit of a gamble taking a role in "Little Fockers."
Jessica Alba: Yeah, totally. It's not like any of the cast had, like, a career. They had no experience. They were sooo lucky to have me in the movie. They really needed my star power. I made the film.

It was such a dream come true. I've always wanted to do a comedy and, obviously, I love all of these actors. They're icons. Gosh, can you get a better comedy school than working with Ben Stiller? His timing is so ridiculous, I mean he's Zoolander! He knows how to do broad, he knows how to do shy, he's just a comic genius.

PD: How did you get the part?
JA: I auditioned for it. I don't know who else did and I don't really care. At the end of the day, I'm supportive of all sorts of actresses being in movies, opening movies. I'm not competitive in that way. Everyone is individual, no one is indispensable. Everyone brings their own unique flair to a role. I really enjoyed doing this and if someone else would have done a better job, then go for it. If I can bring something cool and unique to it, then awesome.

PD: You play a sexy drug rep.
JA: Well, drug rep. Crazy. Totally crazy.

PD: You know they hire pretty girls to be drug reps.
JA: Yeah, they're like cheerleaders.

PD: You've talked about being typecast as the pretty girl.
JA: Actually, I've never said anything like that. It's been interviewers saying, "Oh, so you're always looked at as the pretty girl, is that a problem?" I'm like, "Uh, no, I've never really looked at the roles like pretty girl, check. It was like superhero, sure. Genetically modified kick-ass chick, sure. Blind violinist, OK, sure, why not? Certainly, after I had my daughter it's the material and the character and primarily the filmmaker.

PD: Are you pickier since you had your kid?
JA: A lot more. She's 2 ½ now. She's just getting her opinions and she's able to voice them now. When she gets frustrated, she can talk about it. Before, it was just screaming and crying and I didn't know how to fix it. Now we can communicate. There are rewards and time outs. There are ways to manage what's going on. I don't feel so lost. But you have to stick to your guns. It's very hard.

PD: What's easier? Learning 30 pages of script or dealing with a 2-year-old who won't eat?
JA: The 2-year-old! The script is easy. The 2-year-old is always the problem, not in a bad way. It's like you totally care. I care about her more than anything else in the whole world.

PD: What TV shows does she like?
JA: "The Backyardigans," "Yo Gabba Gabba." I've seen every "Gabba" episode at least 30 times.
PD: Yeah, they love to do the over and over, but, you know, I'll take that over "Barney" any day.
JA: I'm scared of Barney.

PD: Me, too! He's disturbing and the songs ... Do you plan on having more kids?
JA: Yeah, at some point. We'll see how it goes. I mean, we want more.

PD: Is Honor learning Spanish?
JA: We have people in our house and family members who speak Spanish to her all the time, but my Spanish is terrible. It's like 1-year-old Spanish. She has a much broader vocabulary than I do already. It's so good to open up their ears and minds to different languages. By the time they're 3, their brains start creating prejudices about accents and tones. It's just something that happens with brain chemistry. The more you can expose them to different sounds and languages before 3, the better. So, yeah, we're totally trying to do that.

PD: Would you like to do more comedies?
JA: I really love doing comedies. It's my favorite thing. We'll see if I can continue doing comedies, hopefully. I don't even know what my next job is.<

PD: Does that worry you?
JA: No! I mean, I get to hang out with my kid, which is the funnest thing ever. I'm so happy with the way things are going because I don't have to work all the time. I work a little bit and the rest of the time I'm with my daughter. For me, that's so much better, especially until she starts going to school. I don't want to miss spending time with her.

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]]>ben stillerBenStillerjessica albaJessicaAlbalittle fockersLittleFockersNicki GostinTue, 14 Dec 2010 15:05:00 ESTLidia Bastianich on Her New Christmas Book for Kids, Cookie Recipes Includedhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/13/lidia-bastianch/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/13/lidia-bastianch/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/13/lidia-bastianch/#commentsFiled under: ,

Lidia Bastianch picture

Chef Lidia Bastianich is a grandmother of five. Credit: Astrid Stawiarz, Getty Images for IMG

Lidia Bastianich certainly keeps her plate full.

The best-selling cookbook author is a host of a popular cooking show on PBS, restaurateur, co-owner of the enormous New York food emporium Eataly and, perhaps most importantly, nonna to five grandchildren who often appear on her television series.

This holiday season, Bastianich has come out with another book, but this time it's for kids. In "Nonna Tell Me a Story: Lidia's Christmas Story," the chef remembers how she spent Christmas in Italy as a small child and how her family would make its own tree decorations. Naturally, the book features several recipes for Christmas cookies, including the irresistibly titled "Brutti ma Buoni" ("Ugly but Good").

ParentDish caught up with Bastianich to talk about the book, holidays and fussy eaters.

ParentDish: How did you come up with the idea for this book?
Lidia Bastianich: I have five grandchildren. Whenever they come over, we cook, I read to them and pile up in bed when they sleep over and it's, "Nonna, tell me a story when you were a little girl." I'm trying to impart on them the reality of how life was a few years ago, 50 years ago say, the connection to the food we grew. I grew up in a setting where we had chickens, ducks, goats. We grew our own vegetables and, ultimately, made such organic things as our Christmas tree.

I wanted to share that with them and, also, that is their heritage. The more they know who they are, the stronger and better they will be as people. I had written it down for them to keep as a family. For the book, I added some recipes that reflect how I think. Hopefully, families will read it, interact and actually go and make the recipes and possibly make their own tree.

"Nonna Tell Me a Story" features cookie recipes and holiday stories from Lidia Bastianich. Credit: AP Photo/Running Press Book Publishers

PD: Your childhood was so rustic. It's completely foreign to the vast majority of Americans.
LB: I have a lot of children watching my show. They are interested, they want to know about growing food. Let's show them that.

With my shows and books, I'm hoping to bring to children the need to understand how things grow. The chicken nuggets that they like -- it's an animal and that animal also gives us eggs and they should respect it. It's fine to eat an animal. When you tell someone you're going to eat rabbit and they say, "No, it's a bunny" -- yes, it's a beautiful animal, but it's part of our natural cycle and to really respect it is that, when that bunny is sacrificed for us, we eat the whole thing. What happens to the chicken feet, the neck? This preaching of being green, it's beautiful words, but how can we really practice that?

PD: You didn't get presents growing up.
LB: We didn't get anything. We ate the ornaments from the tree. The present was on the sixth of January, Epiphany. The tree was dismantled and it was the orange, the candy and the cookies on the tree. We divvied it up and we each had a mound of goodies. That was the gift.

PD: You must find it a little strange how much stuff kids get now.
LB: I understand. You can't not give them, especially when they reach a certain age, an iPod and so on, but they have to have the consciousness and understanding that there's a whole world we need to be in sync and in harmony with.

PD: How old is your oldest grandchild?
LB: She's 12. She has her friends. I say to her, "Olivia, I know as time goes by you'll be distant from Grandma sometimes, but just remember, Grandma is always here to tell you a story. Grandma is always here to listen and to love you." I'm preparing her for moving on. She needs to know she has Grandma no matter what. You use these steps to assure them and give them that comfort zone, so that when they are out there by themselves they know they have a place to come to.

PD: How do you deal with fussy eaters?
LB: Children do go through stages. Do not force them. But a household needs to have and cook those odd smells, if you will, of broccoli and cabbage. You need to cook them and the children need to become friends with these smells, or at least familiar with them. If you put broccoli in front of them when they're 8, and they've never smelled it, of course they're going to say what is this? But if it's been a part of the family, they might have tasted it. They may have not, but there will come a day when they will taste it because it's a part of the family.

My brother was a fussy eater. I liked my rice with chicken, but got rice with oil and cheese. That's understandable. You can't shove it down their throats. But you make the smells and the sights of it accessible. Children will come to it at their own pace.

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]]>chefcookbookkids cookbookKidsCookbookLidia BastianichLidiaBastianichNicki GostinMon, 13 Dec 2010 13:30:00 ESTNick Cannon Talks TeenNick Award Show and Mariah Carey's Pregnancy Cravingshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/07/nick-cannon-talks-teennick-award-show-and-mariah-careys-pregnan/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/07/nick-cannon-talks-teennick-award-show-and-mariah-careys-pregnan/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/07/nick-cannon-talks-teennick-award-show-and-mariah-careys-pregnan/#commentsFiled under:

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon will soon be adding a baby to their family. Credit: Kevork Djansezian, Getty Images

Nick Cannon wants "to turn the tables" when it comes to Hollywood award shows.

The TV personality -- and Mr. Mariah Carey -- tells ParentDish he thinks kids doing extraordinary things should be the ones recognized, rather than celebs lauding each other.

And it's not just talk. Cannon is set to host the second annual TeenNick HALO Awards Dec. 10, a show that recognizes deserving teens who are performing good deeds in their communities and trying to do something positive. This year's HALO ("Helping and Leading Others") winners are being honored for their work with foster youth, helping young people with HIV/AIDS, cleaning up beaches, striving to put an end to child slavery and other causes.

Cannon not only hosts the show, he's also its executive producer and the person who came up with the idea. He'll be joined by Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Rosario Dawson, Wyclef Jean and, of course, Carey.

Carey, 41, and Cannon, 30, raised a few eyebrows when they married after a whirlwind romance in April 2008, due to their 11-year age difference. In October, the duo confirmed what had long been gossiped about: Carey is expecting the couple's first child, although they won't reveal the due date. They did talk about an earlier miscarriage two years ago and how devastating the experience had been, but how it brought them closer together.

ParentDish checked in with Cannon to talk about the HALOs and the pregnancy.

ParentDish: So tell me about the show.
Nick Cannon: It's the concept of taking the spotlight of a regular award show, where it's celebrities giving each other awards, and turning it around. I wanted to put the spotlight on young people. Celebrities should be giving the leaders of tomorrow awards. That's really what it's all about -- recognizing young people for some amazing things they have done in their communities.

PD: It was your idea, right?
NC: Yes. I just got tired of seeing award shows that kind of have no substance, and I always believed to whom much is given, much is required. So, I wanted celebrities to meet with young leaders who are involved in good causes.

PD: You were a teen star. I guess you didn't have time for these projects when you were younger.
NC: Hey, there's always time for good deeds. You can always help others, even if it's helping them across the street or cleaning up a beach. That's the idea of HALO. No matter how busy you are, wherever you are in life, you can always HALO.

PD: How is Mariah feeling?
NC: Wonderful, really good. Everybody's in good spirits.

PD: Any cravings?
NC: I think it's more like fruit and stuff like that right now.

PD: I hope you're being an attentive husband. Lots of foot rubs.
NC: Yeah, I'm trying to do the best I can.

PD: Don't worry. My husband said he felt like he was walking on egg shells when I was pregnant.
NC: It's not the easiest thing, but it's fun. It's a journey.

PD: Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
NC: Not yet. We're trying to wait.

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]]>halo awardsHaloAwardsmariah careyMariahCareynick cannonNickCannonteennickNicki GostinTue, 07 Dec 2010 16:00:00 ESTDavid Hasselhoff Talks New Reality Show, Drunken Video and 'Dancing With the Stars'http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/06/david-hasselhoff-talks-new-reality-show-drunken-video-and-danc/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/06/david-hasselhoff-talks-new-reality-show-drunken-video-and-danc/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/06/david-hasselhoff-talks-new-reality-show-drunken-video-and-danc/#commentsFiled under: ,

Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff stars with his daughters Hayley, left, and Taylor-Ann in "The Hasselhoffs." Credit: Florian Seefried, Getty Images

Call him campy, but David Hasselhoff has experienced a long career filled with great successes -- from his soap opera roots to starring roles on "Knight Rider" and "Baywatch" to becoming a German pop sensation to judging "America's Got Talent" to a recent stint on "Dancing with the Stars."

He's also well-known for a video shot by his daughter, which showed a seriously intoxicated Hasselhoff bare-chested and sprawled on the floor unable to pick up the burger he's trying eat. At the time, Hasselhoff was going through a nasty divorce with his second wife. He eventually won custody of his daughters, Taylor-Ann, 20, and Hayley, 18. The trio lives together and stars in the new reality show "The Hasselhoffs" on A&E.

ParentDish caught up with "The Hoff" to talk about the series, the drunken video and his relationship with his daughters.

ParentDish: Why did you decide to do the show?
David Hasselhoff: I was doing a show with Ryan Seacrest called "Tales of the Hoff" and it was a kind of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" look at my life. It was scripted and, after a year, E! decided they didn't want to do anything scripted. So we presented the project to A&E. They told me no, they wanted a reality show, and I really wasn't interested in doing that.

But then my daughters came to me and said they want to be singers and would I help them.

We went on vacation and it was tough, it was during the divorce, we had some press come out that was intrusive and not meant to come out. This was our time to get away from it all and we kind of bonded. They told me, "Dad, we really want to do this, can you help us? Can you help us get into the business?" I said I would do what I can. So I called A&E back and said, what if we were to do a show highlighting my daughters pursuing a music career? That was the template.

PD: So, basically, you're doing the show for your kids?
DH: Absolutely, 100 percent. Then I realized, wait a sec, this is good, this is my opportunity to set the record straight. Instead of running away from the cameras, I'm saying, hey, come on in! And so we're off and running with the show.

PD: A recent article in The New York Times suggests you make light of alcoholism on the show.
DH: I read it and I totally disagreed with it. We don't make light of it. All the reviews that have come out have been good. I said for sure it's going to flop. I'm so used to getting terrible reviews and exploitative press written about me. The very first thing in the show we say is, hey, this tape was not me. It was private. It was shot by my daughter and sold and exploited and everyone put in on TV for ratings.

PD: As awful as it must have been at the time, at least now you've got nothing to hide.
DH: We just said, "Hey, this is what happens; it's part of what comes with being famous." When it came out, I was fighting for custody of my children. I didn't go on any talk shows and defend myself and everybody jumped on this tape like I killed somebody. I was drunk! And my daughter was trying to say, Dad, this is scaring me. What a great thing.

C'mon guys, get over it. It's, like, four years ago and millions of views later and parodies and it's become my signature. So I said, this is an opportunity to show this is not who we are. I'm still successful in this business. I have a lot of respect for it and the audience. I'm still standing, baby! And I've got a whole gigantic career ahead of me.

PD: How would you describe your relationship with your daughters?
DH: Fiercely loyal, incredibly honest. Just devastatingly heartwarming and intense. We're really tight. As much as the marriage fell apart, the relationship with my daughters has never wavered. We've only got stronger and they're even more volatile over defending me than I am about myself.

PD: Were you surprised you were the first contestant voted off of "Dancing with the Stars?"
DH: I'm never surprised by anything in Hollywood. I'm surprised NBC picked up the "Knight Rider." I was surprised we were knocked off first on "Dancing with the Stars." The producers were more surprised than anybody else, because they'd used me on all the promos.

They said it was one of those situations where everybody enjoyed it and expected me to move on, so they voted for the other underdogs and forgot to vote for me. I don't know. I went from David Hasselhoff in "Knight Rider" to "You were robbed!"

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]]>celeb parentsCelebParentsdancing with the starsDancingWithTheStarsdavid hasselhoffDavidHasselhoffthe hasselhoffsTheHasselhoffsNicki GostinMon, 06 Dec 2010 12:40:00 ESTRob Schneider Talks Directing His New Movie, Being a Dad and Making It in Hollywoodhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/02/rob-schneider-talks-directing-his-new-movie-being-a-dad-and-mak/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/02/rob-schneider-talks-directing-his-new-movie-being-a-dad-and-mak/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/02/rob-schneider-talks-directing-his-new-movie-being-a-dad-and-mak/#commentsFiled under:

Rob Schneider photo

Rob Schneider wrote, directed and stars in the new drama "The Chosen One." Credit: Bryan Bedder, Getty Images


Part of the "Saturday Night Live" posse that included Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, David Spade and Chris Farley, actor Rob Schnieder has tickled our funny bones for years.

Besides appearing in nearly every Sandler flick, he also starred in the unforgettable "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo." The 47-year-old comic has a 21-year-old daughter, Elle, with his second ex-wife and is currently engaged and set to walk down the aisle next year.

He recently spoke to ParentDish about what he's been up to, his pal Sandler and the delicacies his Filipino mom cooked when he was growing up.

ParentDish: So, why are we speaking today?
Rob Schneider: I have a movie out. It's a drama called "The Chosen One." It's a nice one that I directed and Steve Buscemi is in it.

PD: How did you get to direct it?
RS: I wrote it!

PD: Did you feel like a big shot directing?
RS: Everybody knows I don't know what the heck I'm doing, but people were very nice to me. I didn't call "action." I had the first assistant director do that. I didn't want people to think I was a pompous ass.

PD: Is it the greatest thing being friends with Adam Sandler? He seems to put all his pals in his movies.
RS: Yeah! He's been making fun of me for over three decades now and I still enjoy it. He's a great guy. We have fun together and there's a real trust. He's one of my best friends. He's like that gum in Willy Wonka, that gum that never loses flavor.

PD: I imagine making "Grown Ups" was a blast.
RS: Yeah, except all those guys have young kids so they went to bed at 8 and I had nothing to do.

PD: You've got a daughter that's grown up.
RS: Yeah, I got a grown up kid. She just graduated first in her class in rehab.

PD: You must be proud.
RS: Very proud.

PD: Do you vet the guys she dates?
RS: No, I'm always, "please, take her off my hands."

PD: What was your favorite "Saturday Night Live" character to play?
RS: Probably the copy machine guy because it made me famous. Everyone knew somebody who was kind of like that and the next thing you know, people were doing it all over the country. It was one of those weird things that worked. You go from nobody to somebody overnight. If you become successful on "Saturday Night Live," you're in show business. I never felt like I was in show business before that.

PD: You were doing standup?
RS: Yup.

PD: So you felt like a loser?
RS: No! I was a standup! But I wasn't really getting acting jobs or films and that's what you really aim for.

PD: I love "Deuce Bigalow."
RS: Thanks. I just thought it would be funny to have a kind of loser guy in the house of a gigolo and he has to go out on these dates.

PD: Are you dating?
RS: I'm getting married next year. I'd like to have more kids. I think I'll be better this time around. I feel like I missed a lot.

PD: I heard you talking on Howard Stern on how much you liked Israel while filming "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" there.
RS: It's a much younger country. There's a lot of young people there. There's anti-Semitism in Europe, so good-looking Jews end up where it's safe for them -- in Tel Aviv. The beaches were just packed with these incredibly gorgeous exotic looking half Israeli, half French girls, incredible women from eastern Europe. It was like a never-ending Sports Illustrated swimsuit special.

PD: Your mom is Filipino. Did you grow up with Filipino food?
RS: Of course I did! What else was she going to cook? She cooked chicken adobo, which is almost like a Spanish chicken dish, and balut, which would make you throw up. It's an almost hatched chicken. It's got feathers and it's crunchy. It's like a little chicken inside that's almost ready to be hatched and you're like, "Heh, heh, not so fast."

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]]>Adam SandlerAdamSandlerceleb parentsCelebParentsrob schneiderRobSchneiderthe chosen oneTheChosenOneNicki GostinThu, 02 Dec 2010 13:30:00 EST