ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com/media/feedlogo.gif ParentDish http://www.parentdish.com en-us Copyright 2012 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Rebecca Black's 'Friday' is Harmless Bubblegum Pop, So Why All the Haters?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/29/rebecca-black/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/29/rebecca-black/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/29/rebecca-black/#commentsFiled under:



Rebecca Black is famous for singing and starring in "Friday," known to a lot of people as the worst song and music video of all time. To date, the video has garnered more than 60 million YouTube hits, and Rebecca and her mom says she's the victim of vicious cyber-bullying.

OK, so her voice is pretty annoying and the "video" is so cheesy it could be confused for an SNL sketch. But why all the haters?

Rebecca isn't a pop star or even a former Mousketeer. She's a 13-year-old from Orange County, Calif., whose parents paid a company called Ark Music Factory $2,000 to write and produce a song and video for their daughter to star in. Frankly, for me, that's the weirdest part about this story.

Dressed modestly and singing about having fun on Friday night ("party, party, fun, fun"), the song begins with Rebecca singing a list of things she does throughout the day, leading up to Friday night ("7 a.m. gotta wake up, gotta go downstairs ... gotta eat cereal"). Clearly, Ark Music Factory didn't spend too much time on lyrics. I couldn't help thinking of Dana Carvey in his famous "Choppin' Broccoli" songwriter sketch.

When Rebecca's friends come to pick her up for school in their convertible, she sings about where she should sit: "Kick it in the front seat, kick it in the back seat ... Which seat should I take?" Deciding on the back seat, she croons as her friends are shown in slow motion, the wind in their hair. It's a video moment reminiscent of Mariah Carey's "Dreamlover," circa 1993. Cheesy? You bet! But, again, why all the vitriol over a silly teenage video fantasy?

To Rebecca's credit, the song and video are shamelessly wholesome. There's no swear words or pole dancing or girls dressed as hookers. Maybe that's the problem. She says she picked this song because the others were about adult love and she hadn't experienced that yet.

Recently, Rebecca went on "Good Morning America" to talk about her new-found fame, the hate mail she has received and her hope that, somehow, her infamous video might result in meeting Justin Bieber.

All in all, she appears to be a pretty tough girl. Though she admits to crying after reading some particularly harsh comments, she's clearly decided to make the most of the buzz surrounding her G-rated video. Good for her!

Meanwhile, over on Bravo, several middle-aged housewives are also living out their pop star fantasies. After watching Atlanta housewife Kim sing "Tardy for the Party," there's something to be said for getting this out of your system when you're still in the eighth grade.

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]]>fridaymusicrebecca blackRebeccaBlacksongsRachel Campos-DuffyTue, 29 Mar 2011 12:00:00 ESTNeed a Snow Day Activity? Make Snow Ice Cream!http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/23/snow-day-snow-ice-cream/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/23/snow-day-snow-ice-cream/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/23/snow-day-snow-ice-cream/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

If you live in the Midwest, you might be home with the kids today, since much of this part of the country is having a blast of snowy weather and some parts are under blizzard warnings.

Who doesn't love snow days? It's fun to be indoors, warm and cozy while the wind howls and the snow piles up outside. Inside, we can bake cookies, curl up with a book or movie and enjoy a no-guilt lazy day with our kids.

It's also a great opportunity to whip up a batch of homemade snow ice cream. This easy recipe has become a snow day tradition in our family since a friend first told me about it. There are plenty of recipes online, but I like this one because it's easy (real easy!) and the condensed milk reminds me of my favorite Cuban dessert, "Tres Leches."

Making snow ice cream is easier than baking brownies or cookies. Plus, sending the kids outside to collect clean, fresh snow in a bowl is far more exciting and memorable then emptying a box.

"It's like 'Little House on the Prairie,' " my daughter proclaimed the first time we made it.

She's right! There's something homey and resourceful about it. And, with spring around the corner, this may be the last snow day of the school year. Whatever you choose to do with your kids on days like today, make the most of this special time. Years from now, we'll all look back on these days with warmth and wonder.

Snow Ice Cream

  • 8 cups fresh clean snow
  • 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions

Place snow into a large bowl. Pour condensed milk over snow and add vanilla. Mix to combine. Serve and enjoy immediately.

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]]>Activitiessnow daysnow ice creamSnowDayRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 23 Mar 2011 14:30:00 ESTWhy Lent Is Good for Your Familyhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/16/why-lent-is-good-for-your-family/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/16/why-lent-is-good-for-your-family/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/16/why-lent-is-good-for-your-family/#commentsFiled under: , ,

For many, the word Lent conjures up images of stern nuns, hair shirts and Catholic schools circa 1951, but it's a ritual and tradition American families need now, more than ever.

In our family, Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) marks the beginning of a 40-day challenge to give up stuff we love. Despite the ritual pre-Ash Wednesday dinner discussions ("What are you giving up this year?"), year after year, we always end up with the same boring and predictable sacrifices. Mom: coffee, dessert. Dad: beer. Kids: candy.

This year is different.

Instead of using this holy season as a personal weight-loss boot camp where I purge my pantry and refrigerator of all the things I shouldn't be eating anyway, our family is attempting to work on more serious virtues: gratitude, patience, love.

It started with an episode of "60 Minutes" my mom told me about, featuring the heartbreaking stories of middle-class American families dealing with job loss, foreclosure and homelessness.

My kids watched an articulate 12-year-old girl talk about the embarrassment and humiliation of sleeping in the family minivan and praying her friends wouldn't recognize her dad holding up a handmade cardboard sign on the side of the road -- "Family of 5. Please Help."

As my children watched, I realized this brave little girl accomplished what my countless reminders about the starving children in Africa could not: She inspired in my kids a genuine spirit of gratitude for the things they commonly take for granted. Things like our house, electricity, lunch money and parents blessed with jobs.

The conversations these touching stories generated opened my kids' hearts to take on bigger, and more meaningful, sacrifices this Lenten season; sacrifices that I hope will have more lasting and character-building effects.

One of our kids is challenging himself to be more patient by not getting angry when his little sister (our resident teaser) provokes him. My 6- and 11-year-oldd are giving up television and devoting more time to reading. The whole family has made a Lenten commitment to be more grateful by counting our blessings each evening during prayer time and taking on a charity project.

From obesity to consumerism and an epidemic of debt, there's no question we live in an age of excess. What family couldn't benefit from a period of reflection, self denial, charity and prayer?

So, bust out the purple candles, carve time out for family prayer, download the "stations of the cross for kids," and don't forget about meatless Fridays and Friday night fish fry (if you're blessed to live in Wisconsin!).

Lent is an ancient tradition tailor-made for the problems of a modern world and busy families. Sure, it's old school, but it's never been more relevant ... or needed.

Share your Lenten thoughts and traditions.

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]]>easterlentreligionRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 16 Mar 2011 15:00:00 ESTChild Abuse Comes to YouTubehttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/04/child-abuse-comes-to-youtube/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/04/child-abuse-comes-to-youtube/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/04/child-abuse-comes-to-youtube/#commentsFiled under:

A few weeks ago I wrote about what seems to be a new trend -- Hooters birthday parties for kids and the disturbing fact that parents found it fit to post the sad, uncomfortable affair on YouTube. The site has also exposed criminally sadistic parents who post videos of toddlers smoking weed, drinking beer and being prodded to fight by the very people charged with protecting and loving them.

Well, it looks like radical Muslims have invented a whole new category of child abuse on YouTube -- child re-enacted suicide bombings -- complete with farewell hugs from children posing as friends and family of the would-be martyr child-bomber, all set to catchy Middle Eastern tunes by their proud parents.

It makes one pine for the wholesomeness of a scantily clad Hooters girl singing "Happy Birthday" to a third grader.

Muslim critics of America are right to point to our cultural decadence and immorality. This includes Bill Clinton's Oval Office indiscretion, which introduced grade schoolers to the term "oral sex;" raunchy rap music videos; and the myriad of "rights" adults fight for, like pornography, that wind up infecting our children's worlds and minds. For the last 10 years, America has done a pathetic job of shielding our children from the worst elements and influences of our popular culture.

But the Muslim world has plenty to answer to as well. The most radical strains of their religion receive far too little condemnation from the moderates among them. While some child advocacy groups in the Mideast have spoken out, the "Arab street" is conspicuously muted on these matters. This conspiracy of silence gives rise to, at worst, the glorification of suicide and violence against "infidels," to, at best, an intolerance for Jews and Westerners that corrupts the innocent hearts and minds of children. When even "moderate" Muslim clerics commonly preach disdain for the West, it's hard to imagine how future Muslim leaders will seek peace and understanding with the Western world.

The images coming from our television screen over the last few weeks point to a world that is shifting in dramatic and potentially dangerous ways. Now is the time for parents to teach their children about the value of love and respect for all; it's also time to hold those who don't accountable.

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]]>child abuse youtubeChildAbuseYoutubeRachel Campos-DuffyFri, 04 Mar 2011 15:37:00 ESTMessage to Teachers in Wisconsin: Leave the Governor's Kids Out of It!http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/25/teachers-in-wisconsin/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/25/teachers-in-wisconsin/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/25/teachers-in-wisconsin/#commentsFiled under:


On February 15th, more than a thousand protesters gathered outside of the Wauwatosa, Wis., home of Governor Scott Walker to protest his proposed state budget bill. But Scott Walker doesn't live there, and the teachers in that community know that.

Walker lives at the governor's residence in Madison. His Wauwautosa house is home to his wife, Tonette, who is living there while their teenage boys finish out the school year. Having your home surrounded by a thousand chanting protesters in the post-Gabby Giffords era is frightening. For high schoolers, it can also be, well, embarrassing!

Back in Madison, where the protests in the Captiol rotunda continue in full force, some protesters couldn't resist the urge to make it personal. In addition to signs depicting Governor Walker as Hitler and comparing him to deposed dictator Hosni Mubarkek, several teachers held up these homemade signs:

"Scott, your son is in my class. I teach him, I protect him, I inspire him."

"Scott, I taught your son algebra. My son just turned 5. Does he deserve a good education?"

Is this really necessary, or professional, for that matter? Can't these educators see the hypocrisy in claiming to "protect" a child that they're simultaneously using as a pawn for political gain? Surely I'm not the only parent appalled by this violation of trust in the student-teacher relationship.

Regardless of where you stand on the issue of unions, collective bargaining rights, government spending or billion dollar deficits, we are all called to use our common sense and decency in our political expression. It shouldn't be hard for teachers to imagine that it's probably tough being the governor's teenage sons during these contentious times in Wisconsin. Teachers and their unions ought to publicly denounce these tactics that so clearly undermine their claims that these protests are all about "the kids."

Whether it's the Obama girls or the Walker boys, politicians' kids deserve to be off limits. It's a good civic rule of thumb -- one our public school teachers shouldn't need to be schooled on.

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]]>Rachel Campos-DuffyFri, 25 Feb 2011 12:30:00 ESTMichelle vs. the Michelles: A Breast-Feeding Throwdownhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/17/michelle-vs-the-michelles-a-breast-feeding-throwdown/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/17/michelle-vs-the-michelles-a-breast-feeding-throwdown/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/17/michelle-vs-the-michelles-a-breast-feeding-throwdown/#commentsFiled under: ,


To celebrate the anniversary of her "Let's Move!" anti-obesity campaign, Michelle Obama is talking up the health benefits of breast-feeding and new government incentives that she hopes will encourage more moms to nurse and hopefully, curb childhood obesity.

But two other Michelles, Michelle Bachman and Michelle Malkin, breast-feeding moms themselves, are challenging her "nanny state" approach to the issue.

Look, I'm the first to agree that Obama's obesity campaign is an ineffective use of taxpayer dollars. Do we really need another government program to tell us that Oreos, Hot Pockets, Dr Pepper and Big Macs will make kids fat -- especially if they're also sitting in front of the television or computer instead of playing outside?

We like our first ladies to champion a good cause, and breast-feeding awareness is a very worthy one, but too often, Obama's "good deeds" entail government task forces, federal agencies and more mandates and spending.

Malkin calls the studies Obama cites linking obesity to baby formula "junk science." Meanwhile, Bachman criticizes the first lady for offering a tax break on breast pumps. I'm a fan of the feisty and fearless conservative Michelles, but couldn't they at least give props to Obama for championing privacy for nursing moms in the workplace and encouraging a "family friendly" practice that has so many proven benefits for babies? After all, Obama isn't mandating nursing or pumping rooms at the office. She issued a press release from the Surgeon General encouraging employers to consider the benefits to moms, babies and workplace morale and retention. Can't women on both sides of the aisle put aside the politics for a second and at least call a truce on that?

During a recent visit to the U.S. Capitol, I was relieved when I discovered a small designated room where I could nurse my baby and I praised Rep, Nancy Pelosi for making the room possible for moms who would otherwise be hauling in breast pumps and extension cords and sitting on a toilet in a bathroom stall. It's fair to say that Pelosi was in a position to accommodate moms on the Hill, but plenty of employers are also doing it, and I'm certain many more would voluntarily follow with a little awareness.

Ignorance, not cold heartedness, is the obstacle here, and the vast majority of business owners are not the big, mean capitalists so many liberals paint them out to be.

I'll never forget when, as a first-time mom, I tried to nurse my fussy baby in a restaurant booth. Frustrated, I went to a chairless bathroom where I tried in vain to calm her down and nurse her while standing up. Thankfully, a kind, more experienced mom who had been watching followed me into the bathroom with a chair, washed her hands and offered to hold the baby while I got comfortable. She then handed me a calmer baby who was ready to eat. As I nursed, the woman told me what a wonderful mom I was for trying and gently encouraged me not to give up on nursing -- something I might have done on that day, left to my own frustration and humiliation. When I left the restaurant, I smiled as I drove past a billboard with a picture of a mom rocking her child and the simple message, "Support a nursing mom."

Now isn't that a bipartisan, pro-family message we can all agree on?

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]]>Breast-feedingMichelle BachmannMichelle MalkinMichelle ObamaMichelleBachmannMichelleMalkinMichelleObamaRachel Campos-DuffyThu, 17 Feb 2011 18:00:00 ESTCan You Inoculate Your Kids From a Raunchy Culture?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/09/can-you-inoculate-your-kids-from-a-raunchy-culture/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/09/can-you-inoculate-your-kids-from-a-raunchy-culture/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/09/can-you-inoculate-your-kids-from-a-raunchy-culture/#commentsFiled under:

Last week, a friend told me that her teenage daughter walked out of the room when she saw "Jersey Shore" on the television. You heard right, some teenagers don't want to watch Snooki and her morally-depraved roommates. It was enough to make me, a mom of an 11-year-old, cry tears of joy.

But the hope it gave me wasn't enough to stop me from being angry when I heard that MTV's new teen drama, "Skins," is so racy that the excutives behind it may be charged with kiddie porn. And I expressed my frustration as a parent recently on Anderson Cooper's show.

Up against these corporate machinations, is it even possible to raise kids with enough confidence and common sense to withstand the deluge of vapid, tasteless and sexually-charged programming that passes for teen culture these days?

The answer, as my friend's daughter proves, is yes! You can minimize the influence of "Gossip Girl," sexting, and hooker fashion in your children's life.

The first step is to honor the dignity of children. When we truly acknowledge the intellectual, creative and spiritual dimensions and potential of kids, we can't help but set the bar high in terms of their media. And that doesn't mean you have to throw out the TV or cancel the cable. It just means you have to be discriminating. And savvy enough to use Tivo and DVRs to help your kids take in the good stuff and leave the junk.

Check for age appropriateness. I had a 5-year-old who was invited to a "High School Musical"-themed birthday party. Five-year-olds who watch "High School Musical" and "Hannah Montana" will be 9-year-olds begging to watch "Twilight" or "Glee." Do your part as a parent to slow down the process while you can. Besides, children deserve to have their childhood and innocence protected. They have a right to be princesses and climb trees and make forts without the pressure or confusion of being prematurely introduced to adolescent themes and angst.

Elevate the conversations. Don't underestimate their curiosity about the world, nature or current events. Kids who are curious about the world are less likely to care about what the Kardashian girls are up to. And this goes for the under-12 set, too. If there are protesters on the streets of Cairo, pull out the atlas -- as I did with my kids last week -- and show them where it is, and why its location is important to America. Talk to them about oil, democracy, dictators and human rights. Kids are naturally curious and have innate sense of justice and I always find myself amazed by their questions and conclusions about the world we live in.

Arm them with the classics. Encourage your kids to read and rediscover great books. Show your own enthusiasm by reading to them or reading the same book so you can talk about it together. Resist the temptation to give up when your kids complain about the TV being shut off or swear to you that they hate reading.

Introduce them to sports. Kids who like sports become teenagers whose after-school hours are filled with practices and games instead of "Real World" reruns and mindless video games. Plus, sports are a healthy physical outlet for all those hormones.

Focus on faith. My children's faith and religious instruction is the foundation of their understanding and appreciation for what is truly beautiful and lasting in life. I can't imagine helping them navigate our culture without it.

Finally, don't forget about the family dinner. It's a ritual that studies prove over and over again is a parent's best hope for maintaining influence in their child's life. Kids and teens who have regular family dinners are more likely to have a better relationship with their parents and do better academically, and they are also less likely to engage in risky behavior. It can seem daunting to compete with a ubiquituous and powerful popular culture, but's it's our job to do what we can to minimize its influence by raising well-rounded, grounded kids who are curious about a world they know is bigger than pop culture. The days of cruise-control parenting are over. If we don't parent, The Situation will. Wow, that's a scary thought.

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]]>gossip girlGossipGirljersey shoreJerseyShoreskinssnookithe situationTheSituationRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 09 Feb 2011 15:00:00 ESTIs Hooters a Family Restaurant?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/is-hooters-a-family-restaurant/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/is-hooters-a-family-restaurant/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/is-hooters-a-family-restaurant/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Does a children's menu and a box of crayons from your waitress necessarily make a restaurant "family friendly?"

That's what Hooters is hoping you'll think now that it has a kids' menu and an expanded online store with toys and clothes for kids with slogans such as "I only date Hooters girls", "Hooters honor roll student" and onesies declaring "I'm a boob man." One creepy baby bid states, "Hooters. Your crib or mine."

To be clear, I do not begrudge the Hooters chain or it's owl innuendo. If frat boys and sports fans want tasty wings served by girls in tank tops and orange shorts over weird, flesh-colored tights, I have no objection. And I believe NOW ought to lay off Hooters and spend more time fighting injustices against women in the Middle East.

On the other hand, I worry about what Hooters' not-so-subtle corporate plan to attract families might mean for children. Will my kid's Little League coach think it's OK to take the team to Hooters after the next baseball game? Will normalizing family night out at Hooters sexualize yet another previously sacred part of our children's lives -- the family dinner?

Believe it or not, Hooters birthday parties for kids as young as 7 and 13 can be found on YouTube. It's difficult to watch how out of place and painfully embarrassed these kids look as they are serenaded and hugged by the scantily clad waitresses. These boneheaded parents clearly have no idea about what a kid really wants on their birthday. These kids aren't having fun. Why can't we let kids be kids?

The bottom line is that, with so many parents who are either too busy, too lazy or too stupid to parent consciously, Hooters' kids' menu will inevitably mean that many more families will go out for wings and buy their 4-year-old a "Future Hooter Girl" t-shirt on the way out.

So why should this matter to you if you don't take your kids to Hooters? Because culture matters. The combination of bad parenting and corporate profit-seeking has introduced children to "Grand Theft Auto," slutty Bratz bolls, sleazy kids' clothes and Disney starlets who pole dance. Without a question, the cumulative result has been an assault on childhood innocence that affects everyone's kids and makes good parenting harder than it's ever been. Bottom line: desensitizing children to the adult nature of a Hooters environment is a bad idea -- no matter how good the wings are.

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]]>hootershooters birthday parties for kidshooters kids menuhooters online store for kidsHootersBirthdayPartiesForKidsHootersKidsMenuHootersOnlineStoreForKidsRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 05 Jan 2011 11:00:00 ESTSubscribe to the ParentDish Newsletter Now!http://www.parentdish.com/newsletter/rachel-camposduffy/http://www.parentdish.com/newsletter/rachel-camposduffy/http://www.parentdish.com/newsletter/rachel-camposduffy/#comments

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]]>Rachel Campos-DuffySat, 01 Jan 2011 17:03:00 ESTSanta Banned From Classroom When Muslim Family Complainshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/30/santa-banned-from-classroom-when-muslim-family-complains/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/30/santa-banned-from-classroom-when-muslim-family-complains/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/30/santa-banned-from-classroom-when-muslim-family-complains/#commentsFiled under: , ,

For the past four years, Santa Claus has visited the children of St. Peter, Minnesota's Head Start Program. Santa, in this case, is a gentleman by the name of Dennis Jackson, who donates his time and the candy he gives out to spread Christmas cheer to the little ones who attend this program for low-income families.

But this year, Mr. Jackson (I mean Santa) was told by Head Start's administrator not to come. Why? Because, according to the regional coordinator for the Minnesota Valley Action Council, Chris Marben, at least one Muslim family complained of his visit.

When asked about banishing Santa, Marben said, "We have Somali families in the program. We're respecting the wishes of families in the program." She added, "Part of our challenge in Head Start is providing an environment where young children from many different cultures can all feel comfortable."

Hogwash! Mrs. Marben's decision has nothing to do with making the children feel comfortable. What child wouldn't be thrilled to see jolly old St. Nick and get some free candy?

This decision was all about the grown ups -- their politics, ideology, their fears of lawsuits and their intolerance.

Instead of taking Santa away from all the other kids, why couldn't objecting parents keep their child home that day, or simply request to have their child removed from the classroom at the time of this (supposedly ghastly) visit? But more importantly, Santa-tizing our schools from any religious symbols or references doesn't teach our children to be tolerant or sensitive to other people's religions or cultures. It does quite the opposite.

Moreover, it does the child of a Somali immigrant no good to shield him or her from a symbol that is so universally beloved by Americans. As the daughter of an immigrant myself, I can assure you that knowledge and understanding of the society the child's family has chosen to live in, is key to the child's success and assimilation.

No, none of this is about the children. It's too bad because Christmas is a time when we all think about ways to bring joy to children -- all children -- including those of the Muslim faith.

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]]>muslim family bans santaMuslimFamilyBansSantasanta banned from headstartSantaBannedFromHeadstartRachel Campos-DuffyThu, 30 Dec 2010 16:00:00 ESTBarbara Walters' Question on 'The View' Gave Me a Pregnant Pausehttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/16/barbara-walters-question-on-the-view-gave-me-a-pregnant-pause/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/16/barbara-walters-question-on-the-view-gave-me-a-pregnant-pause/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/16/barbara-walters-question-on-the-view-gave-me-a-pregnant-pause/#commentsFiled under: ,

barbara walters rachel campos duffy picture

My husband, now known as Congressman-Elect Sean Duffy, Barbara Walters, Baby Maria Victoria and me behind the scenes this week at The View.

During my appearance on "The View" this week, Barbara Walters asked me, "Did you ever think, 'I wish I had a career and I didn't have six kids?' "

It was a provocative question, especially since baby #6 was sitting on my lap at the time. I simply responded, "Being a mom is the best job in the world!"

Politico called the answer "diplomatic," and National Review's Kathryn Lopez tweeted that it was "graceful," but I couldn't help being disappointed with my response. Not that it wasn't true -- being a mom is the best job in the world - but I felt that a question as culturally loaded as this one deserved a better answer, especially from someone who has written countless columns and an entire book on the subject of at-home motherhood and the sad fact that our culture does little to applaud or elevate this noble calling.

So, if I had it to do over again, what would I say to Barbara? I'd say, "Barbara, I consider it a privilege and a blessing to have six kids and watch them grow up. As fun as it is to be here with you all (and it is!) I wouldn't trade the precious and fleeting time I have home with my kids for anything."

The truth is, I honestly hold nothing against Barbara for asking the question. Come on, it's "The View!" We expect conversation-starters and brutally blunt discussion. More importantly, I understood full well what Barbara was trying to say. She's a smart woman and a mom herself, so she knows that raising children, especially six, involves not only professional sacrifices, but also many daily personal sacrifices. From Barbara's perch, I can see why my decision to choose at-home motherhood in rural Wisconsin over a "budding career" as she called it, seems perplexing.

What I failed to articulate in that moment on behalf of all the other at-home moms watching is that amid the daily diapers, dishes and tedium, there is also a certain kind of happiness that one can only derive from service to others - especially our children. In our me-first culture, that is a very counterintuitive notion, but one that recent scientific studies into the field of "happiness" are confirming. People who serve others are happier, regardless of their income or personal circumstances.

But setting aside service for a moment, perhaps the most under-examined aspect of mothering is pleasure -- yes, pleasure! Despite the hard work, an increasing number are choosing to do it full-time because they derive real pleasure and a deep sense of satisfaction from doing it well.

Being an at-home parent does not make me a better parent. What it does afford me are more opportunities to become the best parent I can be. That's as satisfying a feeling as any daytime Emmy -- and it won't wear off when the headlines fade.

Time spent with my kids permits me to better understand their personalities and needs. Like any other profession or sport, I improve my skills and techniques the more time I spend doing it. Becoming a better player in the parenting game means more moments to enjoy the game -- or in this case, delight in my children. Would I trade that for anything? Not a chance. Not even for a career as illustrious and historic as Barbara Walters'.

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]]>barbara waltersBarbaraWaltersthe viewTheViewRachel Campos-DuffyThu, 16 Dec 2010 11:11:00 ESTMTV's 'Teen Mom': Pro-Life or Pro-Sex?http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/09/mtvs-teen-mom-pro-life-or-pro-sex/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/09/mtvs-teen-mom-pro-life-or-pro-sex/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/09/mtvs-teen-mom-pro-life-or-pro-sex/#commentsFiled under: ,


After giving birth to my sixth child, I spent two days in the hospital alone -- bonding, nursing ... and totally addicted to a marathon of MTV's "16 and Pregnant."

Watching episode after episode, I was riveted by the brutally honest portrayal of the hardships of teen motherhood. But I was equally captivated by the stridently pro-life message of an MTV show that presented children as a gift, not a scourge, regardless of the circumstances of their conception. As a mom who has experienced the unexpected joy of an unplanned pregnancy, I appreciated that along with the difficulties of being unprepared and immature, the show's producers also let us in on the tender moments and happiness that children bring to any parent's life.

Nonetheless, having a pre-teen daughter of my own, I am concerned about the other messages this "docu-drama" is sending to America's youth.

So far, much of the public hand-wringing about this reality show and it's equally popular spin-off, "Teen Mom," has focused on the celebrity status the show's stars have garnered as a result of their participation. Several of the teen moms now grace the covers of People magazine and Us Weekly, along with Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Swift. Pundits and parents worry about the glorification of teen pregnancy and the implications of national fame and attention that is not based on talent or accomplishment, but rather on one's willingness to have your life filmed under what was once a scandalous circumstance.

My concern is more pedestrian. As a parent, I worry about the casualness with which we see the show's unwed teen couples interact in their parent's home -- pregnant or not. Yes, I know that in this case, these teens clearly had sex (I think of Juno's famous line in the Oscar-nominated movie when asked if her parents might be worried about her whereabouts: "I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?"), But like the movie, where Juno and her boyfriend regularly hang out in her room with the door closed -- a major no-no in my teen years -- there's a level of comfort that the teenagers in these shows have in each other's homes that I suspect was there before the double lines appeared on the EPT test.

When I was a teenager, boys were not allowed in our rooms and boyfriends were not permitted to open the fridge or put their feet up on the coffee table as if they were "just another family member." In a related trend, parents are now allowing boyfriends and girlfriends to appear in the family Christmas card picture, only to create a new holiday dilemma when their daughter breaks up with their boyfriend after the cards are mailed out, as recently happened to a friend of mine.

Today, too many parents are implicitly encouraging their teens to play house and to engage in a level of intimacy and informality that ought to be reserved for grownups in committed and mature relationships. Is MTV encouraging it? No, they're merely reflecting an unfortunate cultural trend. Is "Teen Mom" and "16 and Pregnant" pro-life? Absolutely. Is it also, implicitly pro-teen sex? Unfortunately, yes, because the lesson in these shows is about contraception, not about the emotional or moral perils of sexual intimacy in high school. Should your teen watch it? Only with a loving parent who can help them make this very important distinction.

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]]>16 and pregnantmtvteen momTeenMomRachel Campos-DuffyThu, 09 Dec 2010 12:11:00 ESTGovernment Leaders Reflect New Partnership in Family Lifehttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/01/government-leaders-reflect-new-partnership-in-family-life/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/01/government-leaders-reflect-new-partnership-in-family-life/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/01/government-leaders-reflect-new-partnership-in-family-life/#commentsFiled under:


Recently, when my husband and I arrived in Washington, D.C., for congressional freshman orientation week, several national newspapers noted the more casual and hands-on style of this new generation of leaders. One wrote, "Former MTV Star Rep.-elect, Sean Duffy, R-Wisconsin, checked into the hotel in jeans and carried a baby through the lobby."

Upon reading this and other story quotes regarding Sean's hotel arrival, a friend and supporter back home in our district emailed us wondering what other "normal" things the D.C. press would be reporting on?

Jeans aside, there's nothing unusual or special about a dad toting a baby. However, it's probably also true that not too long ago, we wouldn't have seen a young congressman-elect bouncing his 7-month-old on his lap during a semi-formal welcoming dinner inside of the Capitol, as my husband Sean did on our first night in Washington. Equally rare would have been the five male congressional spouses who cheerfully attended the week's spouse events, beaming with pride and jokingly referring to themselves as the "fabulous five." As I talked and got to know my husband's new colleagues and their wives and husbands, one thing was clear: We are not alone in our partnership approach to marriage, family and child care.

From Todd Palin's low-key helpfulness to President Barack Obama's admirable focus on his daughters and family time, we are, indeed, living in a new era. There is no doubt that the midterm election results have set the stage for some serious political battles ahead, but now that the holidays are here, and we're focusing on what we are thankful for, let's at least be grateful for the example of true partnership America's new leaders and public figures, both Republican, Democrat and Independents are giving our nation. We've come a long way.

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]]>rachel campos duffyRachelCamposDuffysean duffySeanDuffythe real worldTheRealWorldRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 01 Dec 2010 11:00:00 ESTBreast-Feeding Prompts Bipartisan Momenthttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/17/breast-feeding-prompts-bipartisan-moment/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/17/breast-feeding-prompts-bipartisan-moment/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/17/breast-feeding-prompts-bipartisan-moment/#commentsFiled under: ,

My first night in Washington, D.C., for my husband Sean's Congressional Freshman Orientation, involved a lovely reception and dinner in Statuary Hall. It also involved a cocktail dress that made it impossible for me to nurse my 7-month-old baby.

As any other resourceful mom would do, I looked for a helpful, female face among the staffers working that night and inquired about a bathroom with a chair. I was escorted to a ladies room right off of Minority Speaker John Boehner's office and told that I could keep the key to the bathroom with me to ensure that no one else would enter and find me half-dressed and nursing.

With her tummy full, my contented MariaVictoria was a perfect baby during the dinner that followed her mama-made, liquid hors d'oeuvres.

The next day, we attended a series of lectures and forums on topics ranging from ethics and staff issues to how to best handle the grueling travel schedule and the stresses it places on families. Though I had my "hooter-hider" with me, I decided that MariaVictoria and I could use some alone time, so I set out to find the nearest bathroom with a chair. Luckily, upon hearing my request, a lovely staffer and fellow mom escorted me to a designated nursing room in the Capitol.

Deep in the bowels of the building was a quiet, comfortable room with a small refrigerator, TV and a divider that provided privacy for two nursing or pumping moms. Each station had a comfortable chair, a table with tissues and sanitizing products and a professional-quality pump so moms need only bring their own bottles (brilliant!).

Shortly after I entered, another mom did, too. She graciously held my baby until I was situated and then took her place on the other side of the divider to pump. We did what women do -- chatted as we went about our business. As it turned out, this lovely young woman works for Nancy Pelosi and I learned that her boss was pivotal in getting the room set up.

Before the room existed, nursing moms brought their own pumps and extension cords and would lock themselves in bathroom stalls and other places in search of an electrical outlet and a little privacy. Now, thanks to Pelosi, moms have a clean, private space to pump or nurse.

Fellow nursing moms on Capitol Hill sometimes call each other to schedule their nursing times together so they can catch up and bond while they pump. I also learned that moms touring the Capitol who inquire about nursing facilities are escorted through the maze of offices and into this serene little room. And why not? It is, after all, the People's House.

That evening, Sean and I were invited to a reception in Pelosi's office. The food was divine and the Speaker worked the room in a beautiful, deep red pant suit. As I had my picture taken with the mother of five and grandmother of seven, I took time to thank her for helping make the nursing/pumping room possible. Not every mom can or wants to nurse, but for those working moms and visitors to the Capitol who believe that "breast is best," the room is not only a blessing, it's an affirmation that their effort to nourish their child is valued. I told her it took a woman to recognize this need and meet it.

The Speaker is as liberal as I am conservative and we don't agree on much, but some issues truly are bipartisan.

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]]>breast-feedingfreshman orientationFreshmanOrientationmidterm elections 2010MidtermElections2010nancy pelosiNancyPelosinursingpumpingrachel campos-duffyRachelCampos-duffyRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 17 Nov 2010 14:30:00 ESTWhen a Parent Runs for Congress, Kids Get Front Row Seat to American Politicshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/10/sean-duffy-congress/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/10/sean-duffy-congress/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/10/sean-duffy-congress/#commentsFiled under: , ,

rachel sean campos-duffy picture

Courtesy of Rachel Campos-Duffy


On November 2, my husband, Sean Duffy, had the honor of being elected to represent Wisconsin's 7th District in Congress. In a decisive eight-point victory, our northwestern and largely rural district voted for a Republican candidate for the first time in 41 years.

Election night was the culmination of a tremendous amount of work and sacrifice. I can now say with absolutely certitude that unless you've been through it, it's difficult to understand the toll it takes on candidates and their families. It was probably a good thing that we didn't know what was in store for us in the 18 months following my husband's announcement.

As a spouse, the campaign transformed me from a busy-but-happy at-home mother of five to a frazzled and often lonely single mother of six (we discovered we were pregnant three weeks after Sean announced his candidacy and we had our sixth child, Maria Victoria, on April 1). With my best friend and partner crisscrossing one of the largest congressional districts in the country to hit every dairy breakfast, polka Mass, parade and county fair, my workload doubled instantly.

But equally frustrating was the realization that no matter how hard I worked, it was impossible for me to fill the void that Sean's constant absence left on each one of our kids. From family dinners and story time to missed baseball games and an unfinished tree house, there was palpable disappointment whenever dad couldn't do something because of the campaign.

As summer drew near, and campaign "parade season" came into full swing, things improved. Our kids discovered that they could rollerblade the parade routes with dad, passing out campaign literature and throwing candy to the kids in the crowds. With the kids out of school, we did our best whenever possible to include our children so they could feel a part of the experience and get a little more face time with dad.

In the end, despite the sacrifices, I wouldn't change a thing.

Our kids received an invaluable front row seat to American politics. There isn't a civics class that could teach them what they learned and experienced first hand. From retail politics to navigating negative ads against their dad to traveling from county to county in a campaign RV (not to mention stumping with Rudy Giuliani and other political celebrities), our kids understand the work it takes for the privilege of serving in office. Equally important, they know that no candidate wins on his own -- he needs scores of volunteers and supporters to make it happen. In the end, our kids are better and smarter for having gone through this process.

During his victory speech, Sean declared that the first political promise he would keep would be to our kids. It was a promise he made to them during a family meeting when we told them about daddy's plans to run for Congress. And so, three weeks after they entered the polling booth with their mom and dad and watched them cast a vote in an historic election, the eight of us will be traveling to Orlando for a much-deserved Disney World vacation.

Politics has its rewards.

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]]>families campaigningFamiliesCampaigningmidterm electionsMidtermElectionssean duffySeanDuffystay home stay happyStayHomeStayHappyRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 10 Nov 2010 10:26:00 ESTDo Dads Matter?http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/01/do-dads-matter/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/01/do-dads-matter/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/01/do-dads-matter/#commentsFiled under: ,

Jennifer Aniston stepped on a cultural landmine.

"Women are realizing more and more that you don't have to settle, they don't have to fiddle with a man to have that child," the actress said while discussing male sperm donation, a central theme of her recent movie, "The Switch."

Shortly after, Bill O'Reilly, blasted her for "diminishing the role of the dad." These messages, O'Reilly said, are not only hurtful to dads, but also destructive for society.

I agree.

Fatherhood matters, and in our tabloid culture where it has become trendy to "go it alone," there is a real danger that the unique and intended role of fathers in the lives of children is being diminished by popular culture and the celebration of celebrity moms who are touted as heroes and hailed as "empowered" for choosing to parent without a dad. While their baby bumps, designer strollers and adorable baby outfits are closely scrutinized, the effects of a fatherless childhood for their new little bundles barely merits a mention.

There is no substitute for the love of a father. And experienced moms will tell you that no matter how devoted (or wealthy) a mom is, there are certain things that only dads can do for their children.

Continue reading Do Dads Matter?

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]]>bill oreillyBillOreillyjennifer anistonJenniferAnistonrole of dadsrole of fathersRoleOfDadsRoleOfFathersthe switchTheSwitchRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 01 Sep 2010 09:33:00 ESTAmerican Girl Dolls: The Conservative Mom's Dilemmahttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/08/11/american-girl-dolls-the-conservative-moms-dilemma/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/08/11/american-girl-dolls-the-conservative-moms-dilemma/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/08/11/american-girl-dolls-the-conservative-moms-dilemma/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


In a culture where wholesome, age-appropriate toys and media are hard to come by, conservative moms face an additional dilemma.

Conservative values are ridiculed and misrepresented too often in "kid culture," while progressive and more liberal ideology is promoted in subtle and not-so subtle ways. For the politically conscious conservative mom, that means double duty work, monitoring for sexual content and political indoctrination in our kid's toys and entertainment.

I happen to be a big fan of the sweet and age-appropriate American Girl dolls. Moms like me are willing to shell out for these pricey dolls in lieu of their slutty (and more affordable) competitor, Bratz dolls. We'll even spring for the furniture, books, movies and the overpriced American Girl café experience in hopes that our daughters will hang on to their fleeting girlhood for just a little bit longer.

Continue reading American Girl Dolls: The Conservative Mom's Dilemma

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]]>American dollsAmericanDollskit kittredgeKitKittredgeRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 11 Aug 2010 14:30:00 ESTIn Defense of Choreshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/21/in-defense-of-chores/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/21/in-defense-of-chores/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/21/in-defense-of-chores/#commentsFiled under:


There used to be a time when paper routes and babysitting were as a part of the teen experience as pep rallies and Clearasil.
In Arizona, where I grew up and where my parents still live, my mom tells me that the middle class teenagers in her suburban neighborhood don't do the menial jobs that my siblings and I did to earn spending cash.

Gone are the fliers that used to come to her door at the beginning of each summer advertising lawn and babysitting services by entrepreneurial youths. Instead, the teens in her neighborhood have all the spare time and gadgets of their wealthy peers. Like rich kids of another generation, an increasing number of middle class kids also spend their summers free of chores and responsibilities; while they luxuriate by the pool or socialize incessantly on their laptops and cellphones, foreign-born maids clean the house and a team of subcontractors swoops in once a week to the mow the lawn and clean the pool.

Leaving aside the heated debates about illegal immigration and the wage distortions created by cheap labor, I wonder what the long-term impact of all this leisure will be on the resourcefulness and work ethic of America's middle class kids, the demographic our nation has always depended on to power our economy. Are we really doing them a favor by liberating them of work and chores? Or are we setting them up for failure when they enter the cold, competitive global market?

Continue reading In Defense of Chores

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]]>benefits of choresBenefitsOfChoreschores for teensChoresForTeensmiddle class teensMiddleClassTeensRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 21 Jul 2010 11:00:00 ESTParents Hate Parenting Because They're Doing it Wronghttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/15/parents-hate-parenting-because-theyre-doing-it-wrong/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/15/parents-hate-parenting-because-theyre-doing-it-wrong/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/15/parents-hate-parenting-because-theyre-doing-it-wrong/#commentsFiled under:

Jennifer Senior's recent and much commented on New York Magazine article, "All Joy and No Fun", about why parents hate parenting, caught my attention -- especially since I wrote a book on how to be a happy parent.

According to Senior, the day-to-day grind of parenting sucks and there's plenty of stats to prove it. So why do modern day adults, who have a choice in the matter, put themselves through it? She concludes that it's fear that we might regret not having the parenting experience.

And how does she explain the fact, that despite the dour results of the studies she cites, when asked, parents are decidedly more upbeat about the experience? The mind, she says, plays a "lovely magic trick of the memory," gilding hard times that later provides "intense gratification, nostalgia, delight."

I've been through natural childbirth and there is nothing gilded or lovely about that memory. Unlike natural child birth, parenting and nurturing can be a very pleasurable experience. That too many parents have turned it into a joyless, angst-ridden achievement and an exhaustive competition should not be an indictment on the pleasures of parenting.

Sadly, it's become fashionable to bash parenting and portray those who enjoy it and gain real-time satisfaction from it as intellectually inferior, uninteresting or unsophisticated. To say without irony that you love being a mom, that you think it's fun, is to open yourself up to criticism and suspicion. People quietly wonder whether you're a Stepford wife or worse, they take your maternal contentment as a judgment on them.

Continue reading Parents Hate Parenting Because They're Doing it Wrong

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]]>Rachel Campos-DuffyThu, 15 Jul 2010 17:32:00 ESTThis Summer, Give Your Kids the Gift of Boredomhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/07/this-summer-give-your-kids-the-gift-of-boredom/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/07/this-summer-give-your-kids-the-gift-of-boredom/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/07/this-summer-give-your-kids-the-gift-of-boredom/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


During the last few weeks of school my kids brought home piles of flyers for summer camps and activities. The pressure on parents to fill those once-lazy-summer-days with organized and expensive activities is tremendous.

After all, they all sound so educational and fun -- we'd hate for our kids to miss out. Plus, the kids want to be with their friends. As my husband and I struggle to narrow the list, coordinate the schedule and somehow fit it into the family budget, we actually worry: If we don't sign them up for something, does that make us bad parents?

Continue reading This Summer, Give Your Kids the Gift of Boredom

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]]>boredom kidsBoredomKidsover scheduled kidsOverScheduledKidssummer funSummerFunRachel Campos-DuffyWed, 07 Jul 2010 11:00:00 EST