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Roger Sinasohn
When You Don't Like Your Kids' Friends' Parents
Fun & Activities, Playground Bureau, Mommy Wars
Not all your kids' friends will have parents you'll want to be friends with. Image: sxc.hu
Sometimes the issue is that other parents have different rules. "My daughter spent the night" at her friend's house, says mom Julia, "and she and her friend went out for chips at midnight. If I had pre-teen kids spending the night, I'd have a pretty good idea where they were at all times, but the friend's mother didn't seem to care." But a difference about curfew wasn't the only reason that Julia wasn't interested in being friends with this other mother. "This mom was also known around school for yelling at teachers who dared to say her daughter had done something wrong. Basically, she was crazy."
So how did Julia handle the issue? She came up with reasons why her daughter was not allowed to go to the friend's house. "I didn't exactly lie; I just sort of bent the truth a little. I told my daughter she was allergic to her friend's dog so she couldn't go to her house anymore. Okay, so maybe that is a lie," she admits. But who can blame her?
Mom Says Get Out, Drives Off
How frustrated do you have to be to drive off and leave your children behind on a street corner? One mom found out.Madlyn Primoff, a 45-year-old partner in a Manhattan law firm, did what many parents -- myself included -- often threaten: she pulled her car over, told her kids to get out, and drove off, leaving them behind. She is now facing a charge of endangering a child after leaving her 10- and 12-year-old daughters in a White Plains, New York business district. Apparently, the girls had been arguing and Primoff couldn't take it anymore.
What kind of mother would do that? According to her lawyer, Primoff "is a great mother connected with a great family." The lawyer also noted that Primoff "is grateful for the outpouring of support from friends and family." Nonetheless, police say she abandoned her daughters about three miles from their house; her older daughter made it home while the younger daughter was picked up by a "Good Samaritan."
iPhone "Baby Shaker" App Pulled - What Was Apple Thinking?
Health & Safety, Weird But True, Gadgets & Tech
There's nothing funny about shaking a baby to make it stop crying, but that's the premise of a game that Apple temporarily approved for sale to iPhone users this week. The app, intended no doubt to be humorous, displayed a picture of a baby on the phone's screen and played a recording of a baby crying. The user then had to shake the iPhone vigorously until red X's appeared on the baby's eyes and the crying stopped.
The description of the now-unavailable app read, "On a plane, on the bus, in a theatre. Babies are everywhere you don't want them to be! They're always distracting you from preparing for that big presentation at work with their incessant crying. Before Baby Shaker there was nothing you could do about it."
And of course, the description included a disclaimer: "Never, never shake a baby."
As you might imagine, there was quite an uproar over this app, primarily from parents. Patrick Donohue, founder of the Sarah Jane Brain Foundation, an organization that helps parents and medical professionals deal with Pediatric Acquired Brain Injuries such those as caused by Shaken Baby Syndrome, wrote directly to Apple CEO Steve Jobs to express his dismay: "As the father of a 3-year-old who was shaken by her baby nurse when she was only 5 days old, breaking 3 ribs, both collarbones and causing a severe brain injury, words cannot describe my reaction." Marilyn Bar, the founder of the US Center for Shaken Baby Syndrome, goes even further: "Not only are they making fun of shaken baby syndrome, but they are actually encouraging it. This is absolutely terrible."
Apple has removed the program from their iPhone app store and the developer, Sikalosoft, no longer lists it on their website.
We've all experienced the frustration that comes with a baby that won't stop crying. I spent the first three months of my oldest son's life trudging up and down the stairs all night long because that was the only thing that would stop him from crying. And it can be even worse when it's someone else's baby disturbing your meal or interrupting your movie. But, of course, physical abuse is never an option for dealing with an unhappy or inconsolable child. And yet, the developer of this application seems to find this kind of behavior amusing.
I'm sure someone, somewhere, thought, at some point, that this was funny, but someone at Apple, which has been criticized for being too particular about the apps they do approve, certainly made a mistake in approving this one.
The description of the now-unavailable app read, "On a plane, on the bus, in a theatre. Babies are everywhere you don't want them to be! They're always distracting you from preparing for that big presentation at work with their incessant crying. Before Baby Shaker there was nothing you could do about it."
And of course, the description included a disclaimer: "Never, never shake a baby."
As you might imagine, there was quite an uproar over this app, primarily from parents. Patrick Donohue, founder of the Sarah Jane Brain Foundation, an organization that helps parents and medical professionals deal with Pediatric Acquired Brain Injuries such those as caused by Shaken Baby Syndrome, wrote directly to Apple CEO Steve Jobs to express his dismay: "As the father of a 3-year-old who was shaken by her baby nurse when she was only 5 days old, breaking 3 ribs, both collarbones and causing a severe brain injury, words cannot describe my reaction." Marilyn Bar, the founder of the US Center for Shaken Baby Syndrome, goes even further: "Not only are they making fun of shaken baby syndrome, but they are actually encouraging it. This is absolutely terrible."
How Safe is Dairy
Does milk really do a body good? Are the hormones safe? Does yogurt help with weight loss, and does kefir promote better digestion? It can be maddening trying to muddle through all the conflicting information out there. We have the down low on which dairy products your family should be eating, drinking and slurping.
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Milk: It's one of the best sources of calcium, needed for building strong bones and teeth and safe weight loss, according to one recent study. Plus, milk is full of protein, fortified with vitamin D and protects against colon cancer. So what's the problem? Well, lactose intolerance for many, probable increased risk of prostate cancer and possible increased risk of ovarian cancer. That's the hormones, found in standard and organic milk (thanks to dairy cows being kept pregnant so that they'll lactate). And that weight-loss study? Funded by the National Dairy Council.
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Verdict: There's currently no good scientific evidence that says that drinking more than one glass of milk per day is necessary, according to the Harvard School of Public Health. Given some of the risk factors associated with consuming too much dairy, best to look to non-dairy sources for your daily requirement of calcium (1,000 to 1,200 milligrams). Go for leafy greens, beans and whole grains -- all of which offer countless other health benefits, too.
Ray Kachatorian
Cheese: Cheese is the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of the dairy world. On the one hand, we can appreciate delicate shavings of parmesan enhancing the flavor of a salad, or a slice of Bucheron complementing a glass of wine. On the other, we see a slop of melted cheddar oozing over nachos, a roadside stop on the path to obesity or clogged arteries.
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Verdict: Think moderation. Most cheese is high in sodium and isn't exactly low-calorie. But the combination of fat and protein in cheese is very satisfying, and it can keep your appetite in check for hours after eating. The endless variety of cheeses can accommodate most tastes and diets: Feta is low in saturated fats, firm ricotta is low in sodium and Swiss offers a real protein punch. Plus, cheese happens to be great for your teeth -- in addition to providing calcium, it changes the pH in your mouth to discourage bacteria.
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Yogurt: Yogurt offers all the benefits of milk, and then some. It's more easily digested than milk and contains friendly bacteria that's good for your intestinal tract. Some studies even show it to boost immunity and fight cancerous tumors. Unfortunately, most of the yogurt you see on supermarket shelves is so highly sweetened that most of the calories in the product come from the sugar, not the yogurt itself.
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Verdict: Buy plain yogurt. It is more nutritious in every way and it's easily sweetened with fruit, maple syrup or agave nectar. Or, don't sweeten it and use it in place of sour cream, milk or mayonnaise when making pancakes, muffins or tuna salad. Also, avoid any yogurt at the store called "lite," as it likely contains artificial sweeteners and colors.
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Kefir: Kefir, which is just now more widely available, is a cultured, enzyme-rich food that contains even more beneficial bacteria than yogurt, as well as healthy yeasts. It also contains the essential amino acid tryptophan, which has a calming effect on the nerves.
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Verdict: Ta-da! Kefir is he healthiest of all the dairy products. But, as with yogurt, it's best to avoid the overly sweetened commercial varieties. Choose plain kefir, or, better yet, you can purchase a starter culture and easily make your own using whatever milk you normally buy.
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Apple has removed the program from their iPhone app store and the developer, Sikalosoft, no longer lists it on their website.
We've all experienced the frustration that comes with a baby that won't stop crying. I spent the first three months of my oldest son's life trudging up and down the stairs all night long because that was the only thing that would stop him from crying. And it can be even worse when it's someone else's baby disturbing your meal or interrupting your movie. But, of course, physical abuse is never an option for dealing with an unhappy or inconsolable child. And yet, the developer of this application seems to find this kind of behavior amusing.
I'm sure someone, somewhere, thought, at some point, that this was funny, but someone at Apple, which has been criticized for being too particular about the apps they do approve, certainly made a mistake in approving this one.
Like Daughter, Like Mother
Just For Moms, Love & Sex, Weird But True
A British mom is spending big bucks to look like her daughter. Creepy or cool?It's not unusual for kids -- at least when they're younger -- to want to be just like mum or dad. It's charming, it's flattering, and it's not at all odd. After all, who are the grown-ups little kids are most familiar with? Which adults provide for them and make sure they're tucked in tight at night? Why wouldn't you want to be like them? They're about as close to superheroes as you're going to find, outside a comic book or movie theatre.
That's all well and good, and some kids do follow in their parents' footsteps, choosing the same profession or taking up similar hobbies. And, of course, due to genetics, children often end up looking much like one or the other of their parents. That's to be expected. What's unexpected, however, is when a parent wants to take after their child and ends up looking like their own offspring.
Such is the case with Janet and Jane Cunliffe. Janet is actually Jane's mother -- although you might not realize that if you met them together at a party. You'd be more likely to think they were sisters and, as if that weren't enough, you might not even be able to guess which is the elder of the pair. Jane and Janet look very much a like, but only partly due to the genes they have in common -- Janet has spent more than £10,000 -- around $15,000 US dollars -- on plastic surgery and other enhancements so that she can look just like her daughter.
Post-Baby Curves are the New Sexy
Just For Moms, Eating & Nutrition, Life & Style
Whether it was the designers dictating style or giving women what they asked for, for far too long the popular look has been all but anorexic, with the "heroin chic" trend of the 90's being the most extreme example. Models and movie stars have been, in recent years, mere shadows of their hearty, healthy predecessors: Strong, sexy women like Betty Grable who were full-bodied and full of life.However, it appears that all that is changing. Reality is hitting the fashion and entertainment world and the curves are coming out of hiding. The Times points to "curve-packing dresses" of Christina Hendricks, who plays Joan Holloway on the hit TV series "Mad Men," and English model Daisy Lowe as examples of the new trend.
The Times notes that the "whippet-thin" body is stereotypical of "the high-maintenance woman with a husband in corporate finance" and in today's economy -- or what's left of it -- that doesn't seem quite so appealing. The article also points out the importance of the right clothing to show off your shape: "the silhouette-hugging dresses, not the billowing harem pants."
So what's this mean for moms who don't moonlight as fashion models? It means you can stop worrying if you haven't lost all your pregnancy weight. The fact is, guys -- at least all the guys I know -- like a little shape in their women. Those outrageously thin models all look like they'd snap in half if you even look at them wrong. If you're a mom and you've got that glorious mom shape, enjoy it -- heck, even flaunt it.
Beauty After Motherhood
Angelina Jolie
The actress and her partner Brad Pitt have three adopted children -- Maddox, 7, Pax, 4, and Zahara, 3 -- and three biological children -- Shiloh, 2, and baby twins Knox and Vivienne. "I know this is going to sound corny, but I first became happy with the way I look when I became a mother."
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Halle Berry
Berry and boyfriend French-Canadian model Gabriel Aubry have one child, Nahla Ariela, born on March 16, 2008. It was her role in the film, "Things We Lost in the Fire," that convinced her motherhood was for her. "I think it validated that I was meant to be a mother because every day I dealt with the character as a mother and thinking as a mother...It let me know that I must be a mother."
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Gwyneth Paltrow
Has two children, Apple, 4, and Moses, 2, named after a song her husband Chris Martin. "It's like being the most in love you've ever been...but mixed with the worst heartbreak...because one day you're not going to be together anymore."
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Julia Roberts
Julia Roberts and her husband Danny Moder, have 4-year-old twins, Hazel and Phinnaeus, and a boy Henry, 17 months. She told Vanity Fair: "At this point I'm having so much fun with them. You only have so much energy and you want to put so much energy into each child. I wouldn't know how to have five kids. And they're a really good trio, these three."
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Jennifer Lopez
her twins with husband Marc Anthony, Emme and Maximillian, were born 2008 by C-section. According to People, "Jennifer described it [motherhood] as the most magical time of her life. She said, 'You know what? You can win an Oscar, you can win a Golden Globe, and as an ambitious artist you strive for those things. But when you have a kid, all of that is irrelevant."
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Gwen Stefani
She says that Zuma Nesta Rock and Kingston have brought her closer to husband Gavin Rossdale. Also, "I've gotten a little more feminine over the last few years. "As the years go by, you get more comfortable with looking more like a woman."
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Uma Thurman
She's says she's open to the possibility of having more children. "If it's meant to happen, it will. I love and adore being a mother." Thurman has two children with ex-husband Ethan Hawke, Maya, 10, and Levon, 6.
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Thandie Newton
The British actress, most recently starring in "W" as Condoleezza Rice, has two daughters, Ripley, 8, and Nico, nearly 4. "So many people thought I was a really cold person, but I was just painfully shy. But having a kid made me explore how I was going to guide another beautiful being in this world. I was released -- it doesn't happen for everyone, but it happened for me."
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Lose Your Temper, Lose Your Kid
Kids 8-11, Development, In The News
Every parent worries about being a good enough mom or dad, and we all make mistakes. But could a simple mistake be the reason our kids get taken away?
She was having a difficult morning and her eight-year-old son wasn't helping matters by refusing to get dressed for school. Unfortunately, the 42-year-old British mother, whose identity is being withheld by the courts, responded by smacking her son twice on the shoulder with a hairbrush. Sadly, she did so hard enough that the boy was still in pain when he arrived at school. Seeing this, one of the boy's teacher's contacted child protective services.
The boy was placed in foster care and the mother was charged with assault. After admitting that she had a "moment of madness," the mother ended up pleading guilty to the charges. She is now only allowed to see her son for two hours a week. Her lawyer noted that she was the boy's only caregiver despite being sick for the past two years. He explained that she "lost her temper, and struck the child twice, but immediately apologised afterwards."
In England, hitting a child hard enough to bruise is illegal, but lesser blows are permitted. The mother is going to take an anger management course voluntarily and will be sentenced later this month. A spokesman for the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children applauded the actions of the local government, saying "Nobody could get away with hitting an adult with a hairbrush, so they should not be able to get away with hitting a child with one. There is a danger that the use of physical punishment by parents and carers can escalate, and may result in serious harm to a child."
Traffic School Is Elementary For Six-Year-Old
Kids 5-7, Health & Safety, Weird But True
Getting kids to wear seat belts can be tough. One mom was struggling to keep her son belted in -- until a creative judge stepped in to help.At six years old, kids think they are invincible; specifically, they don't comprehend just how dangerous riding in a car can be. And seat belts can be so gosh-darned confining. So it's understandable that kids may not want to wear them -- and at six, they are perfectly capable of unbuckling them themselves.
Recently a mom in Los Lunas, New Mexico, found herself with a six-year-old son who repeatedly removed his seat belt. Jessica would stop to put it back on, but her son kept unbuckling it. Eventually, Jessica got pulled over and the boy even took the belt off right in front of the police officer. Jessica ended up in front of Judge John "Buddy" Sanchez for failing to restrain her child. So she asked the judge for help.
"She didn't want to plead guilty to it because it was her son that was actually not obeying her," the judge said -- and he agreed.
Letting Kids Roam Alone - Would You?
Kids 8-11, Extreme Childhood, Books
Kids are wandering around their neighborhood on their own. Everybody panic!Lenore Skenazy, author of the book Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts With Worry, recently shared the tale of an independent child, a trusting mom, and an over-zealous police officer on her blog: A ten-year-old boy wanted to walk to soccer practice alone and his mom agreed. On the way, the boy was stopped by police and eventually taken to the soccer field where the police officers told the mother that they had received "hundreds" of 911 calls about the boy and that she could be charged with child endangerment.
Now, had this been a four-year-old in downtown Manhattan, the police would likely be chastised for letting the mother off easily -- if the police had even found the kid. In this case, however, the boy was ten years old, the soccer field was a third of a mile away, and this all went down in a safe neighborhood of a small Mississippi town. The boy knew the route, had his mother's cell phone, and the mom was on her way to the field, too, just after the start of practice.
It turned out okay in the end, though. The mom e-mailed the police chief for statistics on crime in her neighborhood and explained what happened. He called her to apologize and told her that she did indeed live in a very safe neighborhood. When I was that age, I was wandering around some of the worst neighborhoods of San Francisco by myself at night -- but that was a long time ago and times are different now. Or are they?
New Research Offers Hope for Peanut Allergies
Eating & Nutrition, Medical Conditions, Mealtime
Studies suggest that it may be possible to cure peanut allergies -- but parents should not try this at home.Having a child who is allergic to peanuts has got to be difficult. It's hard enough making sure kids don't eat rocks and sand, small toys and buttons, coins and screws -- it must be doubly hard to make sure they don't eat or, in some cases, even come in contact with something that the rest of the world considers a delicious, healthy food. And yet, for millions of Americans, the delicious peanut can be deadly.
There is, however, hope for those parents who must deal with peanut allergies on a daily basis. The results of two clinical trials have allergists feeling positive about the future of peanut allergy treatment. The studies looked at oral immunotherapy where children with peanut allergies were given miniscule amounts of peanuts; over time, the amount of peanuts the children were given was slowly increased.
Of the children being tested, a number have been able to subsequently eat peanut products without incident, even after the therapy was discontinued. "They're eating peanut candy, peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, whatever they want," said Dr. Wesley Burks, a pediatric allergist at Duke University. Still, while these trials look promising and research will undoubtedly continue, it is important to note that this is not something that should be tried at home.
Pumping at Work - The New Disability?
Just For Moms, Money & Work, Eating & Nutrition
These days, companies have to do a lot to accommodate employees with special needs. From ensuring access for the physically challenged to preventing discrimination, the rules and regulations can be complex and confusing. But how far should business have to go in adapting the workplace and the position to meet the needs of an employee? Does every need have to be accommodated, including personal choices such as nursing, or only involuntary medical and physical conditions?It looks like, in Ohio, at least, the state's Supreme Court will be deciding some of these questions. Should nursing mothers be given opportunities to pump during their work day? Should companies be required to offer time to moms so that they can pump? Or should companies be able to tell mothers they want employees who aren't going to waste half their day sitting in the bathroom with machinery attached to their chest?
