ParentDish

Lullaby and Goodnight, Now 'Go the F@#! to Sleep'

Mary Beth Sammons — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Funny Stuff, Bedtime, Books for Parents

For those nights when "hush, little baby" just doesn't cut it. Credit: Amazon

When "nighty-night" or "hush, little baby" just aren't helping to lull your screaming baby to sleep, you may be tempted to take some cues from a new bedtime story: "Go the F@#k to Sleep."

It's a thought that has probably crossed the minds of many an exhausted parent at 3 a.m., when the wee one refuses shut eye. Now, novelist Adam Mansbach has put the idea to pen in his children's book "Go the F.... to Sleep," which is not due out until next October, and is actually not for kids, he tells "Today."

An excerpt from the book:

"The cats nestle close to their kittens.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the f@#k to sleep."

"Hopefully, the book is very reflective of what we all feel putting our kids to bed," Mansbach tells the news show. "We all love our kids -- it's not like we stop loving our kids -- but as the minutes tick by, we'll do anything to get out of that room."

A visiting professor of fiction at Rutgers University, Mansbach is dad to a 2-year-old daughter, Vivien.

He says he hopes the book will be a fun moment of relief for sleep-deprived parents, telling "Today" that despite the "tremendous culture of parenting," there's a lot that doesn't get talked about.

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Sweet Dreams for Baby Just a Click Away

Mary Beth Sammons — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 14:30:00 EST

Filed under: Babies, In The News, Bedtime, Research Reveals: Babies, Sleep

A new baby sleep study is opening eyes for parents -- while baby's eyes close. Credit: Getty Images

"Sleep, baby, sleep" is a mantra for many moms and dads who share one thing in common: They aren't getting any sleep, themselves.

If you've tried feedings on demand, pre-bed bath rituals, massages, two-hour drives around the neighborhood and the "crying it out" technique -- all to no avail -- you are not alone.

But take a tip from the nocturnal teen crowd and head to your laptop in the wee hours of the morning. You just may find the secret to sweet dreams for your baby -- and you.

A new study and online-based program is opening parents' eyes, and closing those of their babies, offering advice on getting infants and young children to sleep through the night, Time magazine reports.

Johnsonsbaby.com promises its three-step nightly routine is clinically tested to promote better sleep for babies and children, according to the Johnson & Johnson website.

The sleep intervention program is the brainchild of researchers in the United States and Israel who report in the journal Sleep that it can effectively reduce sleep disturbances in the 20 to 30 percent of infants and young children who are restless at night.

Based on research with almost 5,000 infants and toddlers, Jodi Mindell, associate director of the Sleep Center at Children's Hospital in Philadelphia, and her colleagues created an interactive database of the children's sleeping habits. That information went into creating the Customized Sleep Profile used on the Johnson's site, which includes what parents and infants did in the minutes and hours before going to sleep, coupled with studies on the most effective practices for inducing sleep.

Here's how it works: Plug in our baby's name and age and you'll be guided through a series of questions about the child's sleeping habits. Do you rock the baby to sleep, or give her a bath? Read a book? Feed her or drive her around in the car trying to lull her to sleep?

In just a few seconds, a personalized, just-what-the-experts ordered customized program appears on your screen tailored to address specific sleep behaviors for you and your baby.

"One thing that I was astonished about, in just one week, we saw dramatic improvements," Mindell tells Time.

Previously fussy babies reduced the number of times they awoke at night and the length of time they were awake by up to 50 percent and also took less time to fall asleep, she adds.

"Whatever the parent inputs, the recommendations provided are based on that input," Mindell tells Time.

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New iPad App Lets Parents Read Stories to Kids From Afar

Mary Beth Sammons — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bedtime, Books for Kids, Apps

The new bedtime story reader? Credit: Getty Images

Once upon a time, long before computer games and DVDs, reading a story at bedtime was a treasured ritual for parents and their little ones. This snuggle time with Mom and Dad gave kids time to chill out and fall asleep in safe arms with loving voices whispering enchanting tales of dancing princesses and magical fairies.

But, now, busy parents don't have to be at their kid's bedsides to sing lullabies. A new iPhone and iPad app will take care of that for you.

"Nursery Rhymes with Story Time" is being marketed as a way for parents never to miss bedtime again -- even if they are across the globe away from their kids, London's Daily Mail reports.

It works like this: Parents plug a microphone into their iPhone to speak to their kid, while the child's touch screen guides her through "Humpty Dumpty," and a host of fairy tales, making the pages move, the newspaper explains.

At the end of the story, according to a video showcasing the app, Dad tells the kid to sleep tight and the child tucks himself in and falls asleep, no fussing.

The cost for this 21st century storyteller? You'll need an iPad for your kid ($499), an iPhone for you (starting at $49.99) and the app from iTunes ($3.99 a story).

The app is coming under fire from online groups who believe it could lead to a lack of bonding with children, the Daily Mail reports.

"There is no replacement for actually being there with your child," Ruth Whitehead, 37, who has a 2-year-old son, tells the Evening Standard. "It might be OK as a last resort or if you are away on business, but I fear it could just make parents lazy."

But, Chris Stevens of Atomic Antelope, which developed the app, tells the Daily Mail the discussion needs to happen.

"You can argue that it's a real shame having a child read a story through a cold slab of glass," Stevens tells the newspaper. "But, on the other hand, if the alternative is not having a story at all, I think it's a good option."

Would you use this app? Or are you sticking to books? Join the discussion on Facebook!

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Frequency of Crib-Related Injuries Cause for Concern, Study Finds

Honey Berk — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 00:01:00 EST

Filed under: Health & Safety: Babies, In The News, Baby Essentials, Decor, Alerts & Recalls, Bedtime, Research Reveals: Babies, Health & Safety: Toddlers & Preschoolers, Research Reveals: Toddlers & Preschoolers, Health

Although safety standards continue to improve, crib injuries occur at alarming rates. Credit: Getty

Cribs, playpens and bassinets are supposed to function as secure locations where parents can place their baby or toddler and be confident that their child is safe and protected even when unattended.

Yet, between 1990 and 2008, an estimated 181,654 children younger than 2 years were treated in emergency rooms for injuries related to cribs, playpens and bassinets -- an average of 26 injuries per day in the United States, according to a study published online today in the journal Pediatrics.

Although the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) began releasing safety standards for cribs as early as 1973, poor design, product defects, faulty setup and improper use have led to scores of deaths, entrapments and other injuries to young children. In fact, more than 9 million cribs have been recalled by the CPSC since Sept. 2007 because of safety issues, the researchers note.

Despite efforts by the CPSC to tighten and refine safety standards, crib-related injuries accounted for more than 14,500 injuries to children younger than 5 years of age in 2009, and they were associated with the majority of nursery product deaths, according to the study.

Previous studies have looked at infant deaths resulting from suffocation and strangulation in cribs and adult beds; injuries attributed to bumper pads; deaths attributed to hanging, wedging and suffocation from positional asphyxia; and other causes.

However, nonfatal injuries associated with cribs have largely been overlooked in research, even though they occur far more frequently than actual fatalities, and they can result in serious injury. This new research is the first nationally representative study to examine the incidence of injuries. The data was culled from the CPSC's National Electronic Injury Surveillance System over a 19-year period, from 1990 to 2008.

While researchers note that there was a decrease in injury rates from 1990 to 2008, there were still a number of key findings:

Most of the injuries involved cribs (83.2 percent), followed by playpens (12.6 percent) and bassinets (4.2 percent).

Falling from a crib, playpen or bassinet was the most common method of injury (66.2 percent), followed by being struck by or against a crib (14.7 percent).

The head or neck was the most frequently-injured body region (40.3 percent), followed by the face (27.5 percent).

Soft-tissue injury was the most common diagnosis (34.1 percent), followed by concussion or closed head injury (21.1 percent). Concussions were more likely to occur with falls from a crib, playpen or bassinet, while lacerations were more likely to occur when children hit, cut or fell inside a crib.

The injury involved a sibling or another child in 3.4 percent of cases and a parent or adult caretaker in 2.1 percent of cases.

Infants, ages 6 to 11 months, comprised the largest group of injured children (34.6 percent of cases), followed by children 12 to 17 months (33.4 percent).

Boys accounted for 56.1 percent of reported cases of injury.

Given the volume of crib, playpen and bassinet injuries over the study period, the authors note that current prevention strategies are clearly insufficient and call for greater efforts to minimize hazards associated with these nursery products.

"Crib, playpen, and bassinet safety standards must continue to be strengthened and rigorously enforced to protect young children from harm. Health care professionals, child care providers, parents and other child caregivers also should be cognizant of the recommendations for proper use of these products," the authors conclude.

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Try This: How Do You Go From a Crib to a Big-Kid Bed?

Advertiser — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 14:00:00 EST

Filed under: Development/Milestones: Babies, Decor, Feeding & Sleeping, Bedtime, Expert Advice: Babies, Development: Toddlers & Preschoolers, Expert Advice: Toddlers & Preschoolers, Try This

To the child-free world, moving a toddler from crib to bed might seem like a small step, but these moms prove that it is really a giant leap for babykind.

And, when it comes to accepting or resisting the transistion, there is no typical behavior. Some babies use their monkey-like strength to climb out, while others cement themselves to their sheets and never want to leave.

Pediatric sleep disorders expert, Dr. Deborah Lin-Dyken, suggests waiting until the baby is about 3 years old to make the transition, although some will be ready at as young as 18 months.

One mom recounts her toddler climbing back into the crib when her baby brother arrived. If you can relate to the sibling struggle, Dr. Lin-Dyken recommends making the switch "at least six to eight weeks before you're due" so that your toddler does not feel like the new baby is taking over. However, if the older sibling is not ready for a big-kid bed, it might be better to borrow another crib instead of forcing the older child out, she warns.

What did you do to make the transfer? Did it work?

Looking for family meal ideas? Get tips from other parents at KitchenDaily.

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How to Ease Your Morning Routine

Julie Z. Rosenberg — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 12:25:00 EST

Filed under: Mealtime, Bedtime

Plan ahead to ease morning madness. Credit: Getty Images

It's already 7:30 a.m. The kids are far from dressed, and you're completely frazzled, throwing unwrapped-cheese sandwiches into lunch boxes. Homework is still sitting out on the kitchen table, and your hair? Well, let's not even go there.

Rest assured. You can put the good back in your morning. To help you get your family out the door fed, clothed and still speaking to one another, here are some tips to streamline your morning routine.

The night before: Perhaps the most crucial part of a successful morning send-off is planning ahead. Essentials: Figure out the breakfast menu and set the table; pack lunches; put completed homework and signed forms into backpacks and place by the door; choose outfits for the next day. Depending on the age of your kids, you can assign some of these tasks to them.

Breakfast time: Since you did the bulk of the heavy lifting the night before, your morning should be more about managing behavior than scrambling to prepare. Quick and easy breakfast options include frozen waffles, yogurt containers, cheese sticks or slices and finger fruits like grapes and bananas. Hot cereal topped with fruit is another tasty, healthy option.

Getting dressed: Some parents may want their children to suit up before breakfast. Either way, this is one of those areas where you pick your battles. Top and bottom clash? That's cool. Your kid insists on mismatched socks? Let him. If your biggest goal is to get them out the door, this is where you let your kids' choices reign.

Out the door: It's the getting out of the house part that flummoxes most parents. First, set all your clocks five minutes ahead. This gives you some breathing time that Junior doesn't know exists. He doesn't want to wear a coat? Rather than deal with his tantrum, just hand him the coat and tell him to carry it.

Do as you say: Since kids inevitably do as you do and not as you say, here's a perfect opportunity to set a good example. Do all the things for yourself that you're doing for (or with) your children the night before: Select your outfit, get your gear ready and placed by the front door, prep the coffee maker, etc. The little ones will want to mimic your actions.

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Stop Capital Punishment: Say No to Official Parenting Philosophies

Katherine Stone — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 12:14:00 EST

Filed under: Bedtime, Activities: Family Time, Family Time

Recently, feminist Erica Jong wrote a piece in the Wall Street Journal on today's popular parenting methods and how she feels they imprison mothers. She believes philosophies like Attachment Parenting or Green Parenting have "encouraged female victimization" and are the bane of feminism. (Yikes!)

She writes: "Today's bible of child-rearing is "The Baby Book" by William and Martha Sears, which trumpets 'attachment parenting.' You wear your baby, sleep with her and attune yourself totally to her needs ... Add to this the dictates of 'green parenting' -- homemade baby food, cloth diapers, a cocoon of clockless, unscheduled time -- and you have our new ideal. Anything less is bad for baby. Parents be damned."

There was a large and strong negative reaction among mommy bloggers to the article, especially among moms who follow these philosophies. Many felt Jong was overwrought and misguided. Lisa Belkin of the New York Times' Motherlode blog wrote that her piece was "a mishmash of old accusations against overinvolved parenting." Madeline Holler of Babble.com's Strollerderby blog defended Attachment Parenting, writing that Jong equated it with "... helicopter parenting just to drive her point home that today's generation of mothers is letting down hers, because we're goofy and sentimental and too susceptible to images of Heidi Klum's baby bumps and Angelina Jolie's carefully curated international family."

As I read all of the reactions, I couldn't help wondering, "Why are we even having this conversation?" The truth is mothers gravitate toward what they like. If you like sleeping in the same bed as your baby, it's likely you would have done it anyway, regardless of whether Dr. Sears or anyone else ever said you should. If you don't, you won't do it, regardless of whether Dr. Sears or anyone else ever said you should. What's all this stuff about philosophies?

I think the root of this problem is the modern trademarking and institutionalizing of the ways we care for our children. It's as if, once a certain method has an official name, guidebook, set of steps to follow, and published research showing that it can help your child read by age 3, we must all start arguing about whether we need to adhere to it immediately. The people who like The Method will say, "Obviously!" The people who don't will say "This is ridiculous!" Meanwhile, whatever parenting process The Method has sanctified is probably something some mothers have already been doing (and not doing) since the beginning of time.

When we systematize and capitalize a parenting process, it turns into a crucial choice as opposed to something we would have simply considered, decided and moved on with. Rather than a mother choosing to co-sleep because she likes it and wants to do it, she's now supposed to look at it as a life and death decision. How many of her friends are doing it? Will her child be less successful if she does or doesn't do it? What is the cost-benefit ratio? What are the long-term emotional ramifications? Are there dangers? How will she be judged if those dangers become reality? I could collapse from exhaustion just thinking about it.

I don't want my everyday parenting preferences to be turned into some kind of proof of my fitness to be a mother. As Her Bad Mother's Catherine Connors responded in her post on Jong's article, "Whether you attachment parent or Ferber-parent or Von Trapp-parent (you know, where you dress them in starched pinafores and make them sing at your parties), if you're driven by anxiety to follow a style or adhere to a quote-unquote philosophy, and/or if you persist in following that style or philosophy regardless of whether it works for you and your child, you will be imprisoned."

There are things I enjoy doing as a mom, and things I don't. No co-sleeping for me. No daily craft project. You'll catch me dead before you'll ever catch me homeschooling. It's not who I am. If I tried to do those things, I'd suffer a permanent attack of claustrophobia. Instead, I do what works for me.

One area where I excel? Bedtime. I may have one of the world's greatest bedtime routines. It goes a little something like this:

7 p.m. -- Everyone piles in my bed while I read two stories aloud, one selected by 4-year-old daughter and one selected by 9-year-old son, and they eat their nightly snack of cut-up fruit and berries.
7:30 p.m. -- My 4-year-old daughter and I head to her room. We climb in bed together and I read another story aloud to her or we work on learning to read a little bit. Then the lights go out and I sing three songs ("Grey Squirrel," "Twinkle Twinkle" and "God Bless America") while administering a nice back rub. Then chit chat, lots of hugs and kisses, a promise to see you in the morning, and I'm off.
8:15 p.m. -- I climb in bed with my 9-year-old son who has been reading for the last half hour. I pick up where he left off in his chapter book and read aloud to him for 30-45 minutes. Then the lights go off, he gets his regular back scratch, and we talk in the darkness.
9 p.m. -- World's greatest bedtime routine done.

My husband thinks this is completely out of control. He can't understand why I disappear for two hours to put the kids to sleep. He thinks I'm coddling them. Like Jong, he might even utter the words victimization and imprisonment. What he doesn't realize is that the routine is as much for me as it is for them. I may not do some of the things other moms do, but I do this, and my kids love it. You have babywearing, I have super extreme bedtime. I didn't find it in any book. It's not an Official Parenting Philosophy. It's just my thing. It works for me and I'm sticking to it, victimization be damned.

You can be sure I will not be writing a book called "The Stone Slumbertime System" and require you all to read it and follow it in order to be good mothers. I don't want you to compare your bedtime routine to mine, and I no longer wish to compare your craft-making/cloth diapering/gluten-free skills to my complete lack thereof.

I'd like it if we could just stop the "capital" punishment. Instead, let's all be friends and agree to keep this parenting stuff lowercase.

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Kids Breathe Easier on a Starry Night

Honey Berk — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 15:32:00 EST

Filed under: Bedtime, Books for Kids, Books for Parents, Gear Guides: Babies, Gear Guides: Toddlers & Preschoolers, Gear Guides: Big Kids

Star light, star bright, I wish my cold would go away tonight. Credit: Vicks

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends using a cool mist humidifier throughout the winter months, to help relieve congestion and coughs for kids. So, why not use a humidifier that also can help lull kids to sleep at night?

New from Vicks comes the Starry Night Cool Moisture Humidifier, which has a built-in projector that turns your kid's room into a planetarium filled with glowing stars. The projector is independently controlled, so you can flip it off once sleep sets in.

Now, that sounds like soothing news for you and your little ones.

Available at Amazon for $49.99.

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How to Help Kids Transition Back to the Grind

Susan Stiffelman, MFT — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 11:55:00 EST

Filed under: Day Care & Education, Mealtime, Single Parenting, Bedtime, Expert Advice: Toddlers & Preschoolers, Expert Advice: Big Kids, Expert Advice: Tweens, Sleep

One of the greatest gifts that children bring to us is their passion for enjoying life with wholehearted gusto.

Kids are driven by a desire to have fun 24 hours a day (if at all possible), and that thirst brings joy to the lives of everyone they touch.

That all works very well, except when it comes to motivating youngsters to do things that aren't fun -- like waking up for school, sitting obediently in a classroom, or doing homework. There isn't a parent alive who hasn't faced the challenge of trying to convince a free-spirited child to sit down and focus on her homework, or get a reluctant sleepyhead out of bed in time for class.

Helping children transition back to the grind of school begins, then, with recognizing the fact that doing unpleasant things is not in a child's nature. Discipline is a developed skill, not something children are born having. When parents approach the task of motivating youngsters by coming alongside them -- naturally engaging their cooperation -- rather than at them, which prompts them to dig in their heels, they have a much easier time getting them to buckle down and do things they don't enjoy.

Continue reading How to Help Kids Transition Back to the Grind

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Later School Start Means Less Sleepy, Happier Teens

Monique El-Faizy — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 10:21:00 EST

Filed under: Tweens, Teens, In The News, Day Care & Education, Bedtime, Tween Culture, Teen Culture, Health & Safety: Tweens, Development: Tweens, Social & Emotional Growth: Tweens, Behavior: Tweens, Nutrition: Tweens, Education: Tweens, Activities: Tweens, Gear Guides: Tweens, Research Reveals: Tweens, Expert Advice: Tweens, Health & Safety: Teens, Development: Teens, Social & Emotional Growth: Teens, Behavior: Teens, Nutrition: Teens, Education: Teens, Activities: Teens, Gear Guides: Teens, Research Reveals: Teens, Expert Advice: Teens

Your teen actually does need that much sleep. Credit: Getty Images

Teenagers who have a hard time getting up for school in the morning (OK, that would be pretty much all of them) may not simply be lazy -- they just knows what's good for them.

Starting school later can help adolescents be more alert and improve their mood and health, according to a study published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

When kids start puberty, they develop a delay in their sleep-wake cycle of up to two hours, which means they naturally go to bed later and wake up later, developing a biological preference for an 11 p.m. sleep time and an 8 a.m. wake time, the report says. Despite that, adolescents still need about nine hours of sleep a night, the study states. Combine that with schools that start as early as 7:20 a.m. and, in many cases, and you get a lot of sleepy teens.

Continue reading Later School Start Means Less Sleepy, Happier Teens

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Baby Monitor Review: Angelcare Baby Movement and Sound Monitor Deluxe Plus

Amber Porter — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 09:00:00 EST

Remember to turn off the sensor after picking up your baby. Credit: Amazon

The Basics: Two parent units come with rechargeable batteries and AC adapters, two sensor pads and a nursery transmitter. Operates on both 927 MHz and 2.4 GHz frequencies to avoid interference. Has eight channels and 820-foot range.

The Lowdown: A sensor pad monitor that detects baby's even slightest movements and breaths, as well as sounds. The 15-page user manual and 13-step set-up (including installing the sensor pads) is daunting at first, but the instructions are very clear and easy to follow.

Any bell or whistle you can think of, the Angelcare has it -- audio alarms, vibrating alarms, thermometer to monitor the temperature in your little one's room, even a "ticking" noise that tells you the sensor is detecting movement and your baby is alive and well.

Continue reading Baby Monitor Review: Angelcare Baby Movement and Sound Monitor Deluxe Plus

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3 Tips for Adopting a Better Bedtime Routine

Carrie Snyder — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Feeding & Sleeping, Amazing Parents, Bedtime, Cabin Fever

Bedtime. It can be the best of times, and it can be the worst of times. Often, after a full day of activities together, it cannot come soon enough. But as many parents will tell you, the calming, quiet routines we share with our children as we settle them off to sleep can also be the sweetest moments in the whole day.

Cabin Fever has spent the better part of a decade reading, singing, soothing (and wrangling) a succession of toddlers off to sleep, and though at times it seemed like it would never end, it will. And soon. My youngest turns two in a month. These peaceful, shared moments are fleeting.

Routines change as children grow. The bedtime routine for an infant looks different from the bedtime routine for the toddler, or for the school-aged child. Other factors affect bedtime routines, too. Bedtime is managed differently if one parent is handling it alone, for example; or if the needs of several different age groups must be met.

But no matter what changes, and no matter the variables, the basics of the bedtime routine remain the same. Bedtime falls (roughly) into three distinct stages: the Clean-up, the Winding Down, and the Actually Falling Asleep. Here's how it looks at our house...

Continue reading 3 Tips for Adopting a Better Bedtime Routine

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Is It Really ADHD, or Just a Lack of Sleep?

Karla Heintz — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:05:00 EST

Filed under: Preschoolers, Big Kids, Tweens, Teens, Development/Milestones: Babies, Feeding & Sleeping, Bedtime

Is your little one getting enough shut-eye at night? If not, they could be at risk for depression and other health problems. A study conducted at the University of Helsinki and National Institute of Health and Welfare has found that a child's short sleep duration (without sleeping difficulties) increases the risk for behavioural symptoms of ADHD.

With a continent short on sleep, it's not hard to imagine that a child's sleep deprivation may start to show in behavioural ways rather than just old-fashioned tiredness. In this recent study, 280 healthy boys and girls wore devices on their wrists to monitor their sleep. Children whose average sleep was less than 7.7 hours a night had higher hyperactivity and impulsiveness scores, as well as a higher ADHD total score, versus those who slept longer.

Is it fair to say, then, that lack of sleep causes hyperactivity or impulsiveness?

Continue reading Is It Really ADHD, or Just a Lack of Sleep?

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Kids Addicted to TV - How Bad?

Sabrina Weill — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Media, Bedtime, Opinions, Activities: Big Kids, Expert Advice: Big Kids, Activities: Tweens, Expert Advice: Tweens, Activities: Teens, Expert Advice: Teens

Having a hard time prying the kids away from the TV? Credit: Getty Images

"It's not like they watch a ton of TV. It's just that they love it so much. My kids are allowed to watch one hour a night, from 7 to 8 p.m.," said a mom of two elementary-school-aged kids.

"But from the minute they come in the door after camp, they start asking: 'Is it seven? Is it seven now?' They might as well be watching for four hours a day because even when they're not watching, they're spending all their energy pining for TV. Is this normal?"

To find out, I called my friend and Mommy Advisor Rosanne Tobey, director of Calm and Sense Therapy, a counseling service.

"I don't think this mom is doing anything bad here, per se," Tobey said. "Letting them watch a little bit of TV is a choice, but what I would recommend is, if they're going to watch it, put the TV time where it works best for the mom."

Meaning what exactly?

"Meaning: Let them watch it when they first walk in the door," explained Tobey.

Brilliant. That way they're not clamoring for it all evening. Makes sense. "And she needs to stick to her guns about the one-hour limit," Tobey warned.

Here are Tobey's other tips for keeping kids' TV-related whining in check:

Be clear about the deal up front. Tell the kids that you're changing the TV rules and explain clearly what the game plan will be going forward. Turn off the TV while telling them the rules so they hear you.

Set consequences for deal-breaking. "If the kids whine when you turn off the TV," Tobey said, "give them a warning, then say, 'If you fight me on this, no TV tomorrow.' And you have to follow through on that." Tobey concedes that "tomorrow" would, in this case, be an extremely long day.

No TV right before bed. It's been well-documented that watching TV too close to bedtime can interfere with sleep -- keeping this rule consistent will make it easier to enforce.

Bottom line: How bad is it if the kids pine and whine for TV time? Letting them watch an hour a day is not bad, Tobey said, especially if a mom is not giving into whining but rather setting limits and sticking to them. Even better, make that hour a mom-convenient time that offers a chance to get things done, or just regroup.

Have you had a less-than-perfect parenting moment and you're wondering, "How bad"? Send it to Sabrina at PrincessLPink9@aol.com. She'll try to answer as many as she can.

Sabrina Weill is the founder of the pink and princess-y gift site: PrincessLovesPink. Many of the Mommy Advisors in this column are the writer's personal or professional friends.

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This Thanksgiving I'm Thankful for Bedtime

Bethany Sanders — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: Holidays, Bedtime

A friend called the other day. "It's disturbing to me," she said, "how much I look forward to bedtime."

I concurred. There are definitely days when bedtime can't come soon enough. OK, who am I kidding? There are days when I start counting the hours until bedtime at breakfast.

It's not that we want our numbered days to pass more quickly, not at all. It's just that post-bedtime is the only time during the day when our thoughts and our bodies are our own. If the kids get down by a reasonable hour, I can easily squeeze in 2-3 hours of grown-up time before collapsing onto my own pillow.

But that's not why I'm thankful for bedtime. I'm thankful because there's just something special about a sleeping child. I check on my kids every night before I go to bed, and more often than not, I linger. I marvel at how sleep turns my big five-year-old back into a round cheeked baby. And how my motormouth three-year-old can look so peaceful and still. I kiss long eyelashes resting on rosy cheeks.

Continue reading This Thanksgiving I'm Thankful for Bedtime

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Halloween, Angelina Jolie, and bedtime woes - Links we love

Bethany Sanders — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Playground Bureau, Bedtime

Does the economy have you down? Improve your mood with one of these 10 tips. -- Work It, Mom!

Winter is almost here. If that makes you shudder with fear, check out these homemade games sure to keep your little ones busy on those chilly days. -- ParentHacks

Speaking of winter: Here are some cute, eco-friendly sheepskin boots to keep your toes warm in the snow. -- MomFinds

Get in the mood for Halloween with this cute video about a little boy who refuses to take of his costume the day after Halloween. -- Offsprung

Are you watching Desperate Housewives? One mom thinks you should be. -- Mommy Track'd

Even Elmo's talking about Sarah Palin. Can this election just be over already? -- MomLogic

Brad shoots Angelina breastfeeding for the cover of W magazine. If you're a breastfeeding mom who hasn't showered in two days, you may want to look away. -- lilSugar

No costume yet? Get inspiration with these 10 favorite picks. -- Celebrity Baby Blog

Dying to watch Project Runway in peace? Find out what you're doing wrong at bedtime. -- Babble

Kids at each other all day long? Keep the peace with these tips from a mom of four (almost five). -- AlphaMom

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Bedtime routines - What's yours?

Bethany Sanders — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:00:00 EST

Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Preschoolers, Big Kids, Health & Safety: Babies, Bedtime

Kids across the nation should all finally be back-to-school, which means parents across the nation are trying to adjust to a sometimes radical new schedule. Sleep, especially when there isn't enough of it, is on everyone's minds. Most adults need a solid 8 hours, but kids needs are different based on their age.

One of the easiest ways to get kids to bed is a predictable, consistent bedtime routine. Setting the the tone for sleep about 30-60 minutes before lights out helps children's bodies prepare for sleep. This means that loud, active play and brightly lit video games should be ended long before bed. Quieter activities like puzzles, crafts, books, music, bath, or just a little snuggling will put your child in the bedtime frame of mind. Follow this with a predictable nighttime routine, and you have the perfect recipe for a peaceful day's end.

Bedtime comes early at our house, so our after dinner "family time" ends with picture books on the couch. Then we head upstairs for tooth brushing and jammies. Once everyone is tucked in and lights are out, I read a little from a chapter book (currently Junie B. Jones) by flashlight. My soothing voice in the dark seems to lull the kids into a drowsy state, and it's great incentive for getting in bed without an argument.

Do you have a bedtime routine that helps eliminate bedtime battles? Share it with us in comments.

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Wake up, sleepyhead!

Sandy Maple — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 14:00:00 EST

Filed under: Big Kids, Tweens, Teens, Health & Safety: Babies, Feeding & Sleeping, Bedtime

Our friends over at MomLogic have broached a subject that many of us will soon be dealing with: getting the kids off the summer schedule and back on the school schedule. I don't know about you, but we have gotten so far off schedule this summer that I can't even remember what a schedule is.

But the thing I love most about summer - after the swimming and sunning - is the sleeping late. And if I want to do it, the kid's gotta do it, too. So we tend to stay up later during the summer months and getting back into the swing of things in the fall is a challenge. But with a little forethought and planning, it shouldn't be too painful.

As with just about everything else in life, talking things out can help ease a transition. Explain to your child that in order to be healthy and ready to learn, a good night's sleep is necessary. And if you have to get up earlier, then you have to go to bed earlier, too. This transition takes a little time, so don't wait until the night before the first day of school to implement the change. A week or so of 'early to bed, early to rise' before the big day should help things go smoother.

For some of us, it is still light out when it is bedtime. This is when blackout shades or curtains are worth every penny you pay for them. But don't leave them closed. After your child has fallen asleep, sneak back in and open them up. When the sun comes up, the light should help rouse them.

Once you've got everyone back on track, try not to slip off schedule on the weekends. This just makes Monday morning even harder for everyone. Lastly - and this is the hardest part for me - try getting yourself to bed earlier, too. Cranky parents make for cranky kids and nobody wants to start the day off that way.

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Back-to-school changes parents' routines too

Bethany Sanders — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: Big Kids, Tweens, Teens, Day Care & Education, Bedtime

Shortly after school let out last spring, our schedule began to slide. The kids' normally strict bedtime began inching back, and now they're often up with us enjoying the sweetness of the late summer evenings. The flip side to this, of course, is that they sleep in until 8:30 or 9 every morning... sheer indulgence for this mom of early risers.

Our summer been decidedly unscheduled -- no day camp, no babysitters, no classes or sports, save for some evening swimming lessons. After a long winter of endless colds and flus and a hectic spring, we were looking for something a little more low-key. But as I settle back to enjoy a morning of ~~sunbathing with book in hand~~ supervising them in their wading pool, I realize that not only do I have a lot of work to do to get them ready for fall, I need to prepare myself for the culture-shock as well.

Changes in schedule can be stressful to a family, even families who stayed on a regular routine all summer. Kids have new classrooms to adjust to, new friends to meet. There are extra-curricular activities and carpools and homework. Life just gets busier, and whether you're a parent who juggles family life from home or from your 9-5 job, those first few weeks can be kind of overwhelming.

Continue reading Back-to-school changes parents' routines too

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The long, sordid tale of E.B. White's "Stuart Little"

Bethany Sanders — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:00:00 EST

Filed under: Preschoolers, Big Kids, Tweens, Feeding & Sleeping, Bedtime

After a bedtime routine of bath, brushing teeth, and book reading, my daughters still often resist settling in under getting under the covers and settling in for the night. So we started a new routine where, once they are tucked in and quiet, we turn off all the lights and I read them a few pages from a chapter book (with my booklight). Not only does this give them incentive to get settled into bed, I figure, they're imaginations get a workout as they try to picture the story in their heads. Last week, my three-year-old pulled out Stuart Little. I wasn't sure if they were ready for it yet, but they seem mesmerized by the story so far, and it's so much fun to sink back into an old children's classic.

Stuart Little has delighted children for decades, but did you know that the book got off to a rocky start? The New Yorker has an excellent piece about the relationship between E.B. White, his wife Katherine, and book reviewer Anne Carroll Moore. Moore is credited with creating the idea of a children's library and story time, and became a powerful influence in children's literature. Though she pushed White for years to finish his book, once the manuscript was finished she fought its publication. Saying "I was never so disappointed in a book in my life," and that it had been written by "a sick mind," she refused to order it for the New York Public Library, and therefore influences libraries across the nation as well.

It's a story that's nearly as interesting as the book itself. Parents with an interest in children's literature, classics, or even the history of the New York City Library will find this piece of the past engrossing.

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