ParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.comParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.com/media/feedlogo.gifParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.comen-usCopyright 2012 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only.Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Parenting an ADHD Child, Age by Agehttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/21/adhd-child/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/21/adhd-child/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/21/adhd-child/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

Watch a video on treating ADHD.

The benefits of following some tried-and-true parenting techniques can provide you with even greater rewards. Credit: Getty Images

Establishing good parenting skills, educating yourself and advocating for your child are the most important tools for successfully raising your ADHD child.

While the challenges you face may be more intense than those of most parents, the benefits of following some tried-and-true parenting techniques can provide you with even greater rewards. Your ADHD child will learn appropriate behaviors when you create clear routines and expectations, as well as set and enforce limits. Don't make things too complicated. Just establish some straight-forward rules and time lines, and your child will be better able to navigate at every stage.

Preschoolers
Because the brain is still developing and few medications are approved for children at this age, this is the period in which parents are most "on their own." Most helpful at this stage is behavior modification and environmental adjustments. In our world of super stimulation, it may be best to minimize your child's surroundings -- a smaller classroom, with less activity, and a definite routine can help improve preschoolers' ADHD symptoms.

The National Institute of Mental Health conducted a Preschool ADHD Treatment Study and found that when parents consistently used techniques such as offering consistent praise, ignoring negative behavior and using time-outs, they were successful in helping their ADHD children adjust to the preschool setting.

School-age
Most children are diagnosed with ADHD once they start grade school because their difficulties with focus and lack of control become more apparent (and problematic) when faced with more formal learning and social situations. For parents, this can actually be helpful because while your child may face greater challenges, it's also possible you'll receive more support. Be sure to talk to teachers, administrators and counselors to see what resources are available to you and your child within the school community.

Children at this stage need to know exactly what others expect of them. Since they can't "read between the lines," they don't do well in ambiguous situations. Behavioral parent training programs can be very effective here. They will help you narrow your focus to a few specific behaviors and help you to set limits, and follow through in a consistent manner.

Tweens
In middle school, a more challenging curriculum and the onset of adolescence can certainly intensify the lives of ADHD kids and their parents. Parents may need to try new approaches, from adjusting medications to developing new strategies to help cope with more complex schedules.

Parents should steer their middle schoolers to take more responsibility for their overall well being. Behavioral therapy should also focus on strategies that kids, rather than parents, can use to get their work done.

At this stage it's also important to reassure your tween that having ADHD is not a fault or a punishment. Remind your child that ADHD is a medical condition, like asthma or nearsightedness, and that, with treatment, she can prevent it from limiting her success.

Teens
Although symptoms may seem less severe in the teen years, it's important for parents to continue to advocate for their children. ADHD students may qualify for accommodations such as being issued extra time on standardized tests in school.

Issues that prove challenging for all teens -- identity, independence, drugs and alcohol, sexuality -- can be magnified for teens with ADHD. If you've been dealing with the disorder since childhood, you may have an advantage over non-ADHD parents in that your child is comfortable with all-important limits and boundaries.

Probably the best thing you can do for your ADHD teen is to help him find his strengths and give him opportunities to experience success. Reinforce some of the positive or "surplus" aspects of ADHD symptoms. Remind your child that impulsiveness can lead to creativity; intrusiveness can be interpreted as eagerness, while sincerity is just plan heartwarming, and sincere.

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]]>adhdtreating adhdtreatment for adhdCarolyn RogalskyThu, 21 Apr 2011 16:30:00 ESTTry This: How Do You Encourage Personal Hygiene in Your Kids?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/07/personal-hygiene-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/07/personal-hygiene-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/07/personal-hygiene-kids/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,



Many kids put up a fight when it comes to the daunting task of brushing their teeth or taking a bath. It can be a challenge to explain to younger kids why hygiene is so important.

We asked some moms how they encourage hygiene in their kids and they agreed that persistence is key. It's important to monitor hygiene habits until kids are old enough to do it on their own, one mom added.

AdviceMama offers a few helpful tips:

  • Instead of making brushing a part of your child's bedtime ritual, consider having him brush right after dinner, or before a favorite evening TV show. Some children dawdle about brushing before bed to delay the dreaded time when lights get switched off. Unless he's eating after dinner, there's no reason he can't get the same benefit from brushing an hour or two earlier.
  • Buy your child an electric toothbrush. Many children enjoy using a "machine," especially if you also let him pick a toothpaste that he likes. Try adding music to his brushing ritual; most songs run 2-3 minutes, which is an ideal amount of time to spend on dental hygiene.

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]]>AdvertiserMon, 07 Mar 2011 00:01:00 ESTToddlers and TV: Tips for Parentshttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/23/toddlers-and-tv-tips-for-parents/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/23/toddlers-and-tv-tips-for-parents/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/23/toddlers-and-tv-tips-for-parents/#commentsFiled under: ,

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV for kids under 2. Credit: Getty Images

The programming is adorable. The packaging conjures up famous thinkers and composers. All of this baby media is part of a multimillion dollar business (a good thing to think about when tempted to buy or use media at this age). After all, you are your baby's best teacher. So when it comes to trying new ways to help your child think, you may want to start by putting that baby program on pause.

What is baby media?

From Baby Einstein to Brainy Baby, all kinds of DVDs and computer games are out there for our youngest kids. Since Baby Einstein launched in 1997, baby media has become big business. Sales of videos for infants and toddlers reached $100 million back in 2004. There's even a television channel -- Baby First TV -- aimed at this youngest of audiences.

The facts

  • The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV for kids under 2.
  • 43% of children under the age of 2 watch TV every day and nearly one in five watch videos or DVDs every day (Kaiser, 2003).
  • In 2009 the Walt Disney Company began offering refunds for Baby Einstein products, based on evidence that the products were not educational.
  • Studies show that television exposure at ages 1 through 3 is associated with attention problems at age 7 (Christakis, 2004).
  • Other studies show that some educational programming for kids over 2 -- like family favorite Sesame Street -- can help get kids ready for school (Society for Research in Child Development, 2001).

Why it matters

For starters, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV at all for kids under the age of 2. And while your kid won't be damaged with a little TV or video, remember that every minute spent sitting in front of a TV is a minute when your babies are not exploring the world with all their senses. Research shows that interacting with you is what builds babies' brains. Some new interactive computer programs can be more stimulating than TV shows, but none of these products designed for kids under 2 have been proven to make children smarter or more school-ready. A study at the University of Washington released in August 2007 suggests "developmental" DVDs and videos can actually delay toddler language development.

Tips for parents of young kids

  • If you're going to let babies interact with a screen, know what they are watching and playing. Be smart about the programs you pick. Choose games or programs that are age-appropriate with non-jarring sounds and bright, stimulating colors.
  • Don't turn TV into preschool. Baby TV has not proven to be of any benefit for school readiness. The best preparation for your children involves spending time with them, reading, talking, and exposing them to the world.
  • As kids get older, keep media out of their bedrooms. When TV or computers are in their rooms, kids spend more time using media, and parents are less involved with their choices.
  • Teach your children to ask you if it's okay to turn on media. This simple control mechanism helps keep gaming, TV watching, and online activity from becoming habits.
  • Watch the clock. Media use increases as children get older. Less screen time improves your children's ability to entertain themselves in other ways. Set time rules and stick to them.

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Get more information for parents on media and technology by checking out Common Sense Media.

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]]>toddlers and tvToddlersAndTvthe editors at Common Sense MediaWed, 23 Feb 2011 13:45:00 ESTWhat Are the Signs My Child May Have ADHD?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/26/what-are-the-signs-my-child-may-have-adhd/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/26/what-are-the-signs-my-child-may-have-adhd/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/26/what-are-the-signs-my-child-may-have-adhd/#commentsFiled under: , , , , ,




Q. What Are the Signs My Child May Have ADHD?

Dr. Jim Sears, Pediatrician, host of "The Doctors," answers:

A lot of younger kids tend to struggle in school, whether it's paying attention or just being too hyperactive and disruptive to the class. That can be a problem with the teacher and the parents.

I have a lot of parents coming into my office saying the teacher is asking me to do something, but maybe I don't want to do a prescription. I always sit down and talk to those parents and say to them, if you think your child is having a hard time in school, whether its attention or activity, look at the child's lifestyle, look at what they're eating and how much they're exercising; because a lot of those problems can be improved by improved nutrition.

Whether it's eating more fruits and vegetables or eating more fish, especially fish oils; we've really found that fish oil supplements in the diet can help a child pay attention. Also, it's very important to eat a good breakfast. Kids that eat a good, hearty breakfast with a good source of protein, some good complex carbs, whole grains, yogurt, and things like that, tend to pay better attention in school.

So whether your child gets a label put on them or if there is a diagnosis of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or not, if you think your child isn't doing as well as you think they should be, get the help, talk to your doctor. Improve their nutrition, make sure they get some exercise, especially before school, and you will see an improvement, I guarantee it.

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]]>adhdthe editors at AOLHealthWed, 26 Jan 2011 12:00:00 ESTChildhood Self-Control Is a Predictor of Adult Success, Study Showshttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/24/childhood-self-control-is-a-predictor-of-adult-success-study-sh/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/24/childhood-self-control-is-a-predictor-of-adult-success-study-sh/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/24/childhood-self-control-is-a-predictor-of-adult-success-study-sh/#commentsFiled under: ,

Teaching your child self-control now can mean a healthier future. Credit: Getty

Grating as they may be, most of us are inclined to brush off our preschoolers' tantrums as inconsequential, knowing they'll grow out of it one day.

We would be wrong.

A new study finds the level of self-control one has in childhood is a predictor of one's level of health, substance abuse, personal finances and criminality in adulthood, according to a report in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Researchers followed 1,000 children in New Zealand from birth to age 32 and found that 3-year-olds who had poor self-control were more likely to have problems in all these areas by the time they were 32, the report says.

Self-control was regularly assessed by parents, teachers, observers and the children themselves, who were asked to consider measures such as frustration tolerance, persistence in reaching goals, ability to stick with a task, activity level, ability to think before acting, ability to wait for a turn, restlessness and conscientiousness, according to the findings.


Decades later, when the children were grown up, those who had scored lowest on those measures were more likely than their peers to have health issues, including breathing problems, gum disease, sexually transmitted diseases, inflammation, being overweight and having high cholesterol and high blood pressure, the report says.

The individuals with lower self-control, who were impulsive and had a diminished ability to think about the long term, had more troubles with finances, including savings, home ownership and credit card debt. They were more likely to be single parents, have criminal convictions and to be dependent on drugs and alcohol than those with higher self-control, the report says. These results held true even after researchers accounted for intelligence, class and mistakes made in adolescence.

The troubles started before adulthood. The children with low self-control were more likely to make poor choices as adolescents, including starting to smoke, having unplanned pregnancies and dropping out of school, the report says.

To further test the findings, the researchers ran the same analysis on 500 pairs of fraternal twins in Britain. They found the twin who had lower self-control when he was 5 was more likely than his sibling to have started smoking, be performing badly in school and be behaving antisocially at age 12 -- despite their shared family background, the study says.

But kids with poor impulse control aren't doomed to a life of trouble. The study participants who managed to increase their self-control as they got older fared better than one would have expected based on their childhood scores, the report says.

In other words, self-control can be learned. The authors suggest early intervention to improve self-control can help at-risk children.

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]]>criminal recordCriminalRecordfinancial problemsFinancialProblemshealthself-controlsingle parentsSingleParentstemper tantrums sore loser normalTemperTantrumsSoreLoserNormalMonique El-FaizyMon, 24 Jan 2011 15:01:00 ESTThe Brat Pack: Kids Are Simply Angels in Disguise, Parents Thinkhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/14/the-brat-pack-kids-are-simply-angels-in-disguise-parents-think/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/14/the-brat-pack-kids-are-simply-angels-in-disguise-parents-think/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/14/the-brat-pack-kids-are-simply-angels-in-disguise-parents-think/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

brat pack

Your perfect baby isn't so flawless. Credit: Jerome Tisne, Getty Images

Hey parents, next time you're at the mall shopping for "Santa's" gifts (like tomorrow) and your find your patience flaring up at a bunch of unruly kids (not yours of course), just roll your eyes and chalk it up to their clueless parents.

Temper tantrums, mall meltdowns and badly behaved kids aren't necessarily the result of purposefully careless parenting; they're the result of the more than 95 percent of parents who think their little brats are angels, according to a study in Today Moms.

So, basically the study finds that there's a nation of parents in denial.

Certainly, there are plenty of exceptions to the rule, but these days other people's children (never our own), that act up, whine or say "I want," or "gimme," instead of "please" and "thank you," do so because only four percent of the nation's parents admit their kids aren't well-behaved, according to a government study on family health reported Today Moms. Instead, they think they're all little angles, the online news says.

Officials at the National Center for Health Statistics officials interviewed the parents of nearly 84,000 children between 2001 and 2007 about everything from stepparents to hay fever about their health. The main finding was that families are more diverse, and that kids in more stable homes are healthier, the site reports.

But a surprising nugget that emerged in one line of questioning of families with kids ages 4 to 17 found that 96 percent of parents felt their kids were well-behaved and did exactly what they were told to do, the report says.

Turns out boys parents fessed up to misbehavior a tad more -- 4.2 percent of parents of boys said their sons were not well-behaved. Only three percent of the girls' parents felt that way, according to Today Moms.

Are these parents clueless?

Experts at the National Center for Health Statistics tell Today Moms they don't think that parents are lying, that face-to-face interviews usually lead to pretty accurate answers.

But study author Debra Blackwell reviewed a single year, 2007, and says that about 20 percent of parents actually said their kids were "somewhat" well-behaved, a category not included in the published study.

Still, that leaves more than three-quarters of parents who said their kids "certainly" were little angels.

Blackwell kindly suggests in the online magazine that perhaps parents simply don't remember the details of kids' bad behavior over six months.

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]]>behaviorChildrens disciplineChildrensDisciplineMary Beth SammonsTue, 14 Dec 2010 17:10:00 ESTMy 4-Year-Old Granddaughter is Becoming a Bully ... Just Like Her Mom!http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/29/my-four-year-old-granddaughter-is-becoming-a-bully-just-like-h/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/29/my-four-year-old-granddaughter-is-becoming-a-bully-just-like-h/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/29/my-four-year-old-granddaughter-is-becoming-a-bully-just-like-h/#commentsFiled under: ,

Dear AdviceMama,

My 4-year-old granddaughter is the victim of my daughter's yelling, profanity and name-calling if she doesn't listen. They live in my home, so I am a constant witness. My granddaughter is now becoming the class bully in preschool. She tells classmates they're ugly and that she hates them. I try to talk with my granddaughter when I take her to preschool about appropriate behavior, but the problem continues. I am afraid for her future. Do you have any suggestions?

Signed,
Surrounded By Bullies

Dear Surrounded,

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The number one most powerful influence on our children's behavior is how we, ourselves, behave. All the lectures and admonitions in the world pale in comparison when it comes to teaching children what is -- and isn't -- acceptable.

It's a shame that your daughter is treating her child in such an aggressive way. It sounds as though she's taking her own stress and frustrations out on her little girl, justifying her outbursts by convincing herself that her child deserves to be humiliated when she doesn't listen.

The primary solution isn't going to be convincing your granddaughter to stop saying mean things at school, although we do need to address that, as well. But, if you've read my column, you know that I consider it much more valuable to address the root of a problem. In your granddaughter's case, the underlying cause of her misbehavior is her mother's treatment toward her.

Gently offer to help your daughter find healthier ways to handle her child when she doesn't listen. Whether that's a book, a counseling session with a professional or parenting classes, your daughter needs help managing her anger and finding healthier ways to discipline her child.

While it's good that you are aware your granddaughter's bullying could lead to problems in her future, if her mother uses a different approach -- other than bullying her daughter -- this child will have a better chance of a bright future.

You can teach your granddaughter both appropriate and inappropriate ways of speaking with peers by role-playing scenarios where she might be tempted to say something mean. Simply telling her not to say unkind things may not be enough. Many children learn best by acting out situations where they can "try on" new, better behaviors.

Make sure the school is supporting you by keeping an eye on your granddaughter's name-calling and verbal put-downs, responding promptly if your granddaughter's impulsivity gets the best of her and she blurts out mean words.

I can't emphasize that enough: Although 4-year-olds do push limits and need to be guided, a child who receives the kind of mean-spirited parenting you've described will only truly change when they experience kind and civil behavior in the home. Given that they live with you, I hope you'll politely insist that your daughter discontinue using profanity and humiliations, and help her find better ways to parent her child.

Yours in parenting support,
AdviceMama

AdviceMama, Susan Stiffelman, is a licensed and practicing psychotherapist and marriage and family therapist. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in developmental psychology and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her book, Parenting Without Power Struggles, is available on Amazon. Sign up to get Susan's free parenting newsletter.

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]]>expert adviceExpertAdviceparenting adviceParentingAdviceSusan Stiffelman, MFTMon, 29 Nov 2010 11:45:00 ESTConfessions of a Childhood Bullyhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/26/confessions-of-a-childhood-bully/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/26/confessions-of-a-childhood-bully/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/26/confessions-of-a-childhood-bully/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,

childhood bully picture

Do bullying wounds ever heal? Illustration by Christopher Healy

My sister was three years younger than me and small for her age. She had a pixie haircut and a dark complexion that set her apart from the rest of our fair-skinned family. Strangers often mistook her for a boy or a foreign-born adoptee.

I rarely dared to hurt her physically, not because she was younger and painfully thin, but because what she lacked in strength she made up for in ferociousness. When she was a toddler, I'd impulsively slap or pinch her and keep walking -- until the time I felt her teeth sink into my back. From then on, I kept my distance.

Instead, I assaulted her with words, calling her a mistake, mutant, slob, loser. I glared at her across the dinner table, or pretended she wasn't there as I talked to my parents and brothers, everyone but her. I snorted in contempt when she brought up her achievements in kindergarten, and laughed when she shared a bad day. She stayed silent as our mother gave her meaningful looks, as if to say, "Remember what we talked about." Mom repeatedly ordered me to stop being nasty and leave her alone, to no avail. I was bursting with irrational hatred.

Now I read articles about bullying and cringe. Victims I have never met reopen decades-old memories of my little sister, my scapegoat. Together, their awful helplessness weighs me down like a load of bricks; it kicks me in the gut and knocks the air out of me. I fantasize about saving just one child from a bully, as if to wipe my own slate clean.

But my sympathy also extends, guiltily, to the perpetrators. I wonder if someone is insulting and domineering those kids, too, or if they have witnessed someone they love being tormented. Will anyone even think to investigate? I imagine staging an intervention and holding a mirror to a bully's seething insides. But after he faces the awful truth, then what? I've treated the symptom, not the disease. There's no happy ending to that scenario.

I know now that when I bullied my sister, I was fighting somebody else. She was an arbitrary enemy on whom I would practice my revenge. My real target was a babysitter, an adult relative who frequently abused me verbally. Although I stood up for myself and talked back, it had no effect.

My sister reacted to my tongue lashings the way I wished my harasser would've. Her silence was my reward. After I hurt her, I would feel energized and hopeful, like I could take on any threat. But in that moment of relief, a nagging voice whispered that my sister didn't deserve such treatment any more than I did. Unable to handle the guilt, I would quickly rationalize my behavior: "My sister made me feel like this. She did deserve it."

Today, we live on opposite coasts and see each other once a year or so. I shower her young daughter with gifts. I try to talk to my sister about the past and forge a closer relationship. Once or twice she's confided in me about weathering tough times as an adult, but it's been several years since we really connected. Her poker face reveals nothing to me of her feelings or opinions. Our mother says that's just the way she is.

I hope my mother is wrong. I want to believe my sister is guarded only around me. I can't bear to think she is aloof with strangers and close friends alike, and that I helped make her that way.

My sister enjoys watching her only child play tea party with her stuffed animals. At 5, my niece is happy and self-sufficient and fearless.

My sister turned out stronger than her bully. She treats others the way she should have been treated, not the way she was treated by me. I'm proud of her. And, I am truly sorry.

Jo Parente is the ParentDish nom de plume, a pen name, used by our editorial team when we want to spill our dirty little secrets but still keep our dignity, and families, intact.

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]]>Jo ParenteTue, 26 Oct 2010 14:00:00 ESTOrganizing Tip: 10 Minutes and Donehttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/25/organizing-tip-10-minutes-and-done/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/25/organizing-tip-10-minutes-and-done/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/25/organizing-tip-10-minutes-and-done/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Once again, organizing guru Erica Ecker, also known as The Spacialist, has a solid tip for getting on top of the disorganized mess we call home.

"When it's time to put your things back into place, it's time to race the clock," she says. "Pull out your kitchen timer and set it for 10 minutes. Then go, go, go!"

Ecker says when her clients only have 10 minutes a day to resynchronize their systems and get everything squared away, they accomplish much, much more, than had they tried to get it all done without a set time.

And for the procrastinators out there, it's so much easier to start the (dreaded) act of straightening up when you know there's a clear-cut time to stop. When she first started doing this, she says, she was amazed at how much she herself could accomplish in 10 minutes.

Until next time, may your home be organized and hassle-free. Or at least 10 minutes neater.

Click here for more tips from The Spacialist.

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]]>the editors at ParentDishMon, 25 Oct 2010 11:10:00 ESTGrandson Won't Sleep in His Own Bed!http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/25/grandson-wont-sleep-in-his-own-bed/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/25/grandson-wont-sleep-in-his-own-bed/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/25/grandson-wont-sleep-in-his-own-bed/#commentsFiled under: ,

Dear AdviceMama,

My 2-and-a-half-year-old grandson still sleeps in bed with his parents. My daughter and her husband have tried to put him in his own bed, but he still winds up in theirs. We are expecting another grandchild any day now and I think this will pose a problem with the sleeping arrangements. Can you help?

Signed,
Worried Grandma

Dear Worried,

As challenging as it may be for your daughter and son-in-law to have a toddler in their bed while caring for a newborn, this isn't the time to try to enforce a major change in your grandson's sleeping habits. Even if his parents were to convince their child to sleep in his own room, once his new brother or sister arrives, there's a good chance he would revert back to climbing into mommy and daddy's familiar bed in the middle of the night as he adjusts to big changes in his little life. The last thing you want is to fuel sibling rivalry by "kicking him out" of his parents' bed just when the baby arrives, without giving him time to comfortably transition to his own room.

For most of human history, families have slept together, and in many parts of the world, they still do. While I'm not arguing for or against co-sleeping, I will say that there is plenty of evidence to suggest that children do fine when they sleep with new babies in their midst. I'll also say that your daughter's dilemma is extremely common; one of the issues I deal with most frequently in working with young families is the difficulty parents have in getting children out of their beds! It takes persistence, consistency and determination; qualities that are in short supply when parents bring home a newborn!

The people I would be most concerned about are your daughter and her husband. Given the disruption a new baby is going to bring to their nights, I wouldn't add the challenge of repeatedly walking a toddler back to his own bed in their sleep-deprived state, which is what they will have to do to train their son to sleep all night in his room.

Given the fact that your daughter is due any day, I'd suggest you offer your babysitting services so the new mom (and dad) can catch a few good naps and a bit of alone time. If your grandson is willing to spend the night with you now and again, that will be terrific. You may even offer to sleep at your daughter's house when the baby comes, inviting your grandson to have a slumber party with you in the guest room to break the routine of sleeping in Mommy's bed. In a few months, when your grandson has had time to adjust to the baby, his parents can revisit training him to sleep in his own room.

Meanwhile, congratulations on your growing family. Have fun, and enjoy this next chapter in grandparenting!

Yours in parenting support,
AdviceMama

AdviceMama, Susan Stiffelman, is a licensed and practicing psychotherapist and marriage and family therapist. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in developmental psychology and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her book, Parenting Without Power Struggles, is available on Amazon. Sign up to get Susan's free parenting newsletter.

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]]>Susan Stiffelman, MFTMon, 25 Oct 2010 11:06:00 ESTHow to Childproof Your Windowshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/08/how-to-childproof/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/08/how-to-childproof/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/08/how-to-childproof/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,



Do you have a minute (OK, a minute and eight seconds?) Good. Now watch this video on window safety from the Consumer Product Safety Commission, and then walk around your house and do what you need to do to childproof your windows. Got it? Great. Glad we had this talk.

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]]>childproofingthe editors at ParentDishFri, 08 Oct 2010 12:42:00 ESTWarning: Stop Using Infant Sleep Positioners Immediately or Risk Suffocation Deathshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/29/warning-stop-using-infant-sleep-positioners-immediately-or-risk/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/29/warning-stop-using-infant-sleep-positioners-immediately-or-risk/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/29/warning-stop-using-infant-sleep-positioners-immediately-or-risk/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Parents are warned to stop using infant sleep positioners immediately. Credit: U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission


The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued a consumer alert today to warn parents to stop using infant sleep positioners, citing reports of 12 infants -- ages 1 month to 4 months -- who suffocated to death after being placed in the devices.

Most of the infants suffocated after rolling from a side to a stomach position; some of the infants suffocated on the device itself, while others succumbed after being trapped between a sleep positioner and the side of a crib or bassinet, according to CPSC Chairman Inez Tenenbaum.

In addition to the reported deaths, the CPSC has also received dozens of reports of infants who were placed on their back or sides in sleep positioners, only to be found later in potentially hazardous positions within or next to the devices.

"The deaths and dangerous situations resulting from the use of infant sleep positioners are a serious concern to CPSC," Tenenbaum said. "We urge parents and caregivers to take our warning seriously and stop using these sleep positioners, so that children can have a safer sleep."

The two main types of infant sleep positioners are flat mats with side bolsters or inclined (wedge) mats with side bolsters (see above).

Both types of sleep positioners typically claim to help keep infants on their backs, thereby reducing the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). There is, however, no evidence to support this claim, according to Dr. Rachel Moon, Chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics' Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Task Force.

"The American Academy of Pediatrics doesn't recommend any of the products that claim to protect against SIDS," Moon says, "Because, to our knowledge, none of these do actually protect against SIDS; there is no scientific evidence supporting these claims."

In addition, the FDA has never cleared an infant sleep positioner to prevent or reduce the risk of SIDS. Over the years, the FDA has approved 18 sleep positioner devices -- all of which had made claims of helping to reduce gastroesophageal reflux disease symptoms and/or preventing plagiocephaly -- also known as "flat head syndrome."

At this point, however, it has become clear that the risks of using infant sleep positioners outweigh the benefits, says Moon, so consumers are warned to immediately stop using the devices.

The FDA, which has jurisdiction over consumer products making medical claims, has contacted the manufacturers of the 18 approved infant sleep positioners and asked them to stop making these devices; the agency will also be contacting retailers to ask them to stop selling the devices, according to Dr. Joshua Sharfstein, FDA Principal Deputy Commissioner.

Sharfstein advised that today's public health message is seen as the quickest way to get the warning out the consumers, so that they immediately stop buying the fatality-causing products. However, in the future, the FDA may issue for products that have not voluntarily been removed from the market; the agency will also be investigating reports of other, unapproved sleep positioning devices, as well as any other devices out there that claim to prevent or reduce the risk of SIDS.

The CPSC, FDA and AAP warn parents to:
  • Stop using sleep positioners. Using a positioner to hold an infant on his or her back or side for sleep is dangerous and unnecessary.
  • Never put pillows, infant sleep positioners, comforters, or quilts under a baby or in a crib.
  • Always place an infant on his or her back at night and during nap time. To reduce the risk of SIDS, the AAP recommends placing infants to sleep on their backs and not their sides.
Visit the CPSC's website for information about the agency's Safe Sleep initiative, which advises parents on how to help their kids sleep safely.

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]]>aapalertcpscfdarecallsidsSudden Infant Death SyndromeSuddenInfantDeathSyndromeHoney BerkWed, 29 Sep 2010 15:46:00 ESTWhat Teachers Wish Parents Knewhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/16/what-teachers-wish-parents-knew/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/16/what-teachers-wish-parents-knew/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/16/what-teachers-wish-parents-knew/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , ,


The most effective way parents can help their children do their best in school is to offer continual support and encouragement of learning.

But how can you specifically put this into action? Dr. Diane Sekeres, assistant professor of education at The University of Alabama, offers six ways parents can do just that:

1. Pay attention every day to the information that comes home in your child's backpack. If anything needs to be returned or forms need to be completed, be sure to do that promptly.

2. Check daily to make sure your child has completed the assignments. Make sure homework and other assignments are in the backpack so they are handed in on time.

3. Work with your child to plan ahead for projects so they can be done well without the stress of too-little time. This will help your child learn to organize time and tasks.

4. Offer occasional encouragement to your child's teacher, letting him or her know what you've noticed about your child's learning and growth. Do what you can to help the lines of communication stay open between you and the teacher.

5. If your child tells you something that happened in the classroom that concerns you, first check with the teacher for information before you register a complaint.

6. Come visit the classroom! Take a day when you can eat lunch with your child, volunteer to help out or teach the children about something you know well.

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]]>the editors at NetscapeThu, 16 Sep 2010 09:22:00 ESTOne Truly Smokin' Babe Comes Home From Rehabhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/02/one-truly-smokin-babe-comes-home-from-rehab/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/02/one-truly-smokin-babe-comes-home-from-rehab/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/02/one-truly-smokin-babe-comes-home-from-rehab/#commentsFiled under: , , , , ,

PRODUCTION PLAYER! DO NOT DELETE.


A 2-year-old chain smoker just came home from rehab. Break out the baby book -- it's time to start a new page.

While most parents forever cherish the first time their toddler gets out of rehab, there is concern Aldi Suganda will relapse and break into the cancer sticks again as he returns home today.

His mother, Diana, tells CBS News she felt powerless to stop him when he first took up smoking. But if the tiny tot starts smoking again, she adds, who can stop him?

"I don't know of what will happen in the future," she tells the network through an interpreter. "We surely hope he will quit ... But what can we do but accept it is as it is?"

A video of Suganda smoking went viral in May. The tot reportedly was smoking 40 cigarettes a day, and a news team from CBS tracked him down in the remote fishing village of Musi Banyuasin on the Indonesian island of Sumatra in July.

Continue reading One Truly Smokin' Babe Comes Home From Rehab

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]]>smokingsmoking babysmoking kidsSmokingBabySmokingKidsTom HendersonThu, 02 Sep 2010 13:30:00 ESTChild Cries to Get Her Way - How Bad?http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/01/child-cries-to-get-her-way-how-bad/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/01/child-cries-to-get-her-way-how-bad/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/01/child-cries-to-get-her-way-how-bad/#commentsFiled under: ,


A letter came in from a father recently, and the part that stood out was:

"My wife has a habit of just letting things go where I feel there might be the need to address a situation. This usually ends up with my daughter in my wife's arms in tears and most times getting some sort of treat to calm her down ...

I don't want my daughter to think it's OK to just back away when she's confronted with something a little difficult or awkward ..."

The note also said: "I think we're being played."

Admittedly reading between the lines, I got the picture of a daughter that cries a lot, a mom that tries to console her, and a father who feels fed up with all the crying. A lot of parents mention kids' crying as a major source of agitation, so I called Mommy Adviser Rosanne Tobey, director of Calm and Sense Therapy, a counseling service, for her take on how to help a child who cries when she doesn't get her way. How bad?

Continue reading Child Cries to Get Her Way - How Bad?

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]]>cryingcrying childCryingChildSabrina WeillWed, 01 Sep 2010 11:00:00 ESTCircumcision: Is It Right for Your Baby Boy?http://www.parentdish.com/2010/08/31/circumcision-is-it-right-for-your-baby-boy/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/08/31/circumcision-is-it-right-for-your-baby-boy/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/08/31/circumcision-is-it-right-for-your-baby-boy/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

baby boy

The decision to circumcise is up to parents. Credit: Nicole Hill, Getty Images


The debate over circumcision heated up when the Centers for Disease Control announced it may recommend circumcising all baby boys, but experts say the decision still rests with parents.

First of all, just what is circumcision? Dr. Rodolfo Sarmiento, a pediatrician on staff at Advocate Good Samaritan Hospital in Downers Grove, Ill., told ParentDish it's an elective procedure done to boys after birth, usually 24 hours after they are delivered. The prepuce, or overlying skin at the tip of the penis, is removed.

The procedure does cause the child pain, so doctors will administer a pain reliever such as Tylenol. Some physicians, Sarmiento says, prefer to give a newborn sugar or a local, topical anesthetic to help with pain control.

Not all parents choose to have their children circumcised, which is why the CDC's announcement caused such a stir. Officials are considering promoting the procedure in the U.S., according to The New York Times, because it may help reduce the spread of H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS.

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]]>baby boysBabyBoyscircumcisedcircumcisionevergreenhealthpenisAmy HatchTue, 31 Aug 2010 16:40:00 ESTThe Knife Under the Bed and Other Pregnancy Superstitionshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/08/13/the-knife-under-the-bed-and-other-pregnancy-superstitions/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/08/13/the-knife-under-the-bed-and-other-pregnancy-superstitions/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/08/13/the-knife-under-the-bed-and-other-pregnancy-superstitions/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Do pregnancy superstitions give you pause? Credit: Getty Images


If there's one thing a woman loses while pregnant (besides her waistline), it's any sense of control. Will it be a boy or a girl? Will my baby have 10 fingers and 10 toes? Will labor be easy or difficult? With so many unknowns out there, it's no wonder pregnancy and birth superstitions have proliferated for as long as they have.

Thanks to advancements in science and technology, some of these superstitions are losing their relevance. For example, moms-to-be no longer have to rely on dangling a wedding band over their bellies to determine their baby's sex. Sure, they may have had a 50/50 chance of being right, but ultrasound is much more accurate and DNA is, well, pretty hard to contest.

Did you know that one in 10 newborns are diagnosed with a vascular birthmark, those dark red or purplish marks more commonly known as strawberries, port-wine stains, stork bites or angel kisses? Before we had the science to explain that they are simply a mass of extra blood vessels in the skin, many cultures saw them as something sinister, referring to them as "the mark of the devil," while other societies explained away the unsightly marks by claiming the mother had indulged in red berries while pregnant.

Another medical phenomenon ancient cultures attempted to make sense of is the harelip, a colloquial name for cleft palate or cleft lip, which occur in approximately 1 per 500 to 700 births worldwide, according to Operation Smile. Ugandans believe if a pregnant woman sees an eclipse, her baby will have a harelip. In Mexico, harelips occur if she's out during a full moon and in China, if she eats rabbit.

Continue reading The Knife Under the Bed and Other Pregnancy Superstitions

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]]>birthbirthmarkbirthmarkscleft lipcleft palateCleftLipCleftPalatehareliphemangiomahemangiomaslabormythsMythsAndLegendspregnancystrawberriessuperstitionsuperstitionsvascularJulie Z. RosenbergFri, 13 Aug 2010 11:00:00 EST'SpongeBob' and Other Names Our Child Wanted to Name the New Babyhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/27/spongebob-and-other-names-our-child-wanted-to-name-the-new-bab/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/27/spongebob-and-other-names-our-child-wanted-to-name-the-new-bab/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/27/spongebob-and-other-names-our-child-wanted-to-name-the-new-bab/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

"SpongeBob" does have a nice ring to it... Credit: Nickelodeon / AP

Magician Penn Gillette and his wife named their baby daughter Moxie CrimeFighter.
That raises an interesting question: "What the $#@!?"

Moxie CrimeFighter sounds like a name another kid would come up with. Children can be extraordinarily clever when it comes to naming other children. And we're not just talking about colorful odor-based nicknames.

We asked contributors to Seed.com -- AOL's freelance website -- to share some of the names their children suggested for siblings. Here are some of the best responses.

"After my husband and I gave our daughter Sam the big job of helping us name our son, she immediately turned to us and very seriously stated 'SpongeBob.' I tried to explain that "SpongeBob" wasn't really a name. 'But Mom!' she exclaimed, 'SpongeBob is a cute name!' " -Melissa Vacca

"When our 4-year-old daughter was informed she would have a new baby brother or sister in a few months, and when asked what to name the said child, she replied, 'Let's name the baby after the dog!' Whom she also named: 'Peanut butter.'"

Continue reading 'SpongeBob' and Other Names Our Child Wanted to Name the New Baby

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]]>baby namesBabyNamesexpire-images:2011-6-30spongebobthe editors at ParentDishTue, 27 Jul 2010 13:00:00 ESTCelebrate Baby's Arrival with Creative Birth Announcementshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/27/celebrate-babys-arrival-with-creative-birth-announcements/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/27/celebrate-babys-arrival-with-creative-birth-announcements/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/27/celebrate-babys-arrival-with-creative-birth-announcements/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

When designing birth announcements, new parents might consider using creative added elements, such as a band that wraps around a photo. Credit: Alee & Press

Looking for a creative way to introduce your new baby to friends and family? While an e-mail announcing your baby's birth might satisfy those wanting to get the word out quickly, others try to provide something more tangible.

With a few simple ideas, a traditional printed announcement can become a creative keepsake. Whether you choose to use your own printer and paper, buy something ready-made or hire a professional graphic designer to create custom announcements, there are a few things to keep in mind.

New York-based designer Liz Coulson Libré suggests parents first determine whether or not to use a photo. Libré, who founded Linda & Harriett in 2007, often incorporates a 3-inch by 3-inch photo within a 5-inch by 7-inch custom-designed letterpress card.

Libré tells ParentDish in a phone interview that anything a family decides "should be an extension of you and your personality."

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]]>announcementsbabybaby announcementbirth announcementevergreenElizabeth HumphreyTue, 27 Jul 2010 11:31:00 ESTHow to Handle Separation Anxiety as the School Year Beginshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/26/handling-separation-anxiety-as-the-school-year-begins/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/26/handling-separation-anxiety-as-the-school-year-begins/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/07/26/handling-separation-anxiety-as-the-school-year-begins/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


Some children welcome the adventure of a new school year, eagerly heading off to explore the classroom and make friends, and barely noticing as you say goodbye. But for other children, every school day begins with tummy aches, frantic tears, and desperate drama.

If you have a child who struggles with separation anxiety, here are some tips for helping them successfully manage a new school year:

Develop a bond with your child's new teacher
During the school day, your child's teacher becomes her source of security and comfort. Visit the classroom before school begins and help your child forge a special connection with her new teacher. Look for common interests, and help the teacher begin to take a personal interest in your child, to strengthen a natural attachment between them.

Continue reading How to Handle Separation Anxiety as the School Year Begins

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]]>Susan Stiffelman, MFTMon, 26 Jul 2010 11:00:00 EST