ParentDish

Kids With Special Needs Get (Gasp!) Bullied

Tom Henderson — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Special Needs, Bullying

Credit: Getty Images

Brace yourselves for a shocker. Kids with special needs -- who struggle with medical, emotional or emotional issues -- tend to have more problems in school and are bullied more often than other kids.

Researchers at the Poindexter Institute for the Painfully Obvious reached this conclusion after examining their middle school yearbooks and remembering how they spent all of seventh grade trapped inside their lockers while asking if someone would please pass them their inhalers.

Their conclusions were backed up by researchers at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.

According to U.S. News & World Report, researchers there tracked more than 1,450 kids in fourth through sixth grades from 34 rural schools. A third of the kids had problems such as asthma, chronic pain, attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), learning disabilities or emotional and behavioral problems.

These children were a more likely to be (wait for it, wait for it) bullied or feel socially isolated. These conclusions were further confirmed by everyone who has ever attended public school.

"Health affects school performance," lead researcher Christopher Forrest tells U.S. News. "Special health care needs have manifold effects on school outcomes that increase the likelihood that these kids are not going to successfully transition to adulthood."

Researchers obtained data from kids and their parents from a questionnaire. Children were classified as having a special health care need if they had a condition lasting at least 12 months and needed prescription drugs, therapy, counseling or other services.

School records on attendance, grades and standardized tests also were analyzed.

Kids with special health care needs "have significant differences in their engagement in school and their school relationships as well as academic achievement," Forrest adds. "It sets up a trajectory for these kids that's highly distressing."

Communities can help if they look at the whole child, he says.

"I also believe it's the kind of challenge we're starting to understand in the 21st century," Forrest says. "We have to look at the child as a whole person ... and recognize that individuals need health systems and education systems to work together."

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A Fourth of Parents Say Their Kids Have Encountered Cyberbullying

Tom Henderson — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

Credit: Getty Images

Teenagers call it "trolling."

They're not talking about catching fish from a moving boat. As prone to abusing the English language as they are each other, that's the new slang term for what adults call cyberbullying.

And there's a lot of trolling going on out there.

PC Magazine reports researchers for Symantec (a security software company) found that a fourth of parents say their children have been involved in cyberbullying -- either as a victim, bully or witness.

The online survey included 1,068 U.S. parents with children between the ages of 8 and 18 -- with a margin of error of plus or minus 3 percent.

According to the magazine, middle school students are the most likely to be victims of cyberbullying and girls were more likely to be involved than boys.

Of the 24 percent of respondents who said their child had been involved in cyberbullying, 68 percent said their child had been the victim, while 17 percent said their child was the bully, and 15 percent said their child witnessed an incident.

Only 40 percent of the parents of witnesses say they talked with their child about how to stop cyberbullying from happening.

Other results:

30 percent of parents told their child to "not get involved" to avoid unnecessary "drama" or "retaliation."
50 percent of single parents whose child witnessed a cyberbullying incident told their child to "stay out of it," compared to 17 percent of married parents.
Nearly half of all parents surveyed either didn't have online parenting software installed on their computer (43 percent) or didn't know if they did (6 percent).
When asked how knowledgeable parents feel about their child's online activity, 18 percent of parents admitted they "sort of" know what their child does online, while 10 percent of parents said, "I ask, but never feel like he or she is telling me everything."
40 percent of parents admitted to checking their kids' browser history to see what they've been searching for.

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Girl, 12, Gets Suspended Sentence for Cyberstalking

Lesley Kennedy — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

Girls, 11 and 12, posted sexually explicit photos of a classmate on Facebook. Credit: AP

Think your child is too young to be wrapped up in a cyberstalking case? A 12-year-old received a six-month suspended sentence for committing the crime this week.

The Seattle Times reports the girl from Issaquah, Wash., was also charged with first-degree computer trespassing after posting sexually explicit pictures on another 12-year-old's Facebook page. An 11-year-old co-defendant was sentenced to community service earlier, according to the newspaper.

"I want to apologize for making people go through all of this," the 12-year-old said in court, the Times reports. " I just feel real bad and if I could go back I would change everything."

The charges show that the two defendants also sent instant messages to "random" people to arrange sex meetings posing as the victim, Leslie Cote, who asked the media to name her to help bring light to the seriousness of cyberstalking, according to the newspaper.

If the defendants follow the court's rules and don't get in trouble for six months the case will be dismissed, according to the Times.

The Times reports Leslie had been at one of the defendants' homes when she got on Facebook and the girls got her password. Leslie's mother, Tara Cote, tells the newspaper the cyberstalking "made our lives a living hell."

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Rapper 50 Cent Gives His Two Cents on Bullying in New Book

Tom Henderson — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 12:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying, Books for Kids, Celeb News & Interviews

50 Cent is trying his hand at rhyming, not for a song though, a children's book. Credit: Getty Images

Rapper 50 Cent has a simple solution for bullying.

"Give me a knife," he once rapped. "I'll get rid of your neighborhood bully."

A lot of people misunderstood those lyrics. Mr. Cent apparently just wants to dissect bullies and find out what makes them tick. "I wanted to explore how a kid becomes a bully," he tells the London Guardian.

He still wants to use a sharp object, but this time he's opting for a pen rather than a knife.

The rapper formerly known as Curtis Jackson, now called "Fiddy," is writing a book for teenagers that explores the theme of bullying. He tells the Guardian his book, titled "Playground," will be "a positive influence on all teenagers."

"This book would have been very helpful for me growing up," he adds.

While most of Fiddy's previous writings discuss interpersonal conflict resolution through the busting of caps and assorted cutlery, he says his book will take a more sophisticated approach to bullying.

Fiddy has had his own share of interpersonal conflicts to resolve and has even been accused of being a bully himself.

"A bully picks on people he knows he can beat," the Guardian quotes him from a radio appearance. "The people that I've been in altercations with will tear into my ass if I say something to them. How can I be a bully if I'm not picking weak individuals?"

"Playground" is due out in January -- possibly.

As he tweeted about the record company, after it leaked a new single from his upcoming album, Mr. Cent prefers "my sh** coming out when I feel like it!" The rest of the tweet is somewhat nasty with a creative misspelling for the F word.

Maybe he'll be more diplomatic when teaching kids how to work and play well with others.

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Bullies Grow up to be Abusive Husbands and Boyfriends, Study Finds

Tom Henderson — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying, Research Reveals: Big Kids, Research Reveals: Teens

Guys who were bullies when they were kids are dramatically more likely to abuse their wives and girlfriends as adults. Credit: Getty Images

Your dinner date laughs as he reminisces about the time he stuffed the president of the chess club in his locker or made some fat kid cry.

"Good times, good times," he says as he wipes a nostalgic tear from his eye.

Careful. He may not be a nice guy.

ABC News reports guys who were bullies when they were kids are dramatically more likely to abuse their wives and girlfriends as adults.

A study, published this week in the journal Pediatrics, surveyed more than 1,400 men between that ages of 18 and 35 at an urban community center in Boston. ABC News reports researchers from the Harvard School of Public Health found former bullies were four times more likely to physically abuse their partners.

"Individuals who are likely to perpetrate abusive behaviors against others may do so across childhood into adulthood," the report concludes.

This is the latest study to find that many bullies do not outgrow their problems. ABC News reports past research shows bullies are more likely to bully their own kids, lose a job and get involved in the criminal justice system.

"We really need to look at the timing and duration on the type of bullying that occurs," the study's co-author Kathryn Falb, a research assistant and doctoral candidate at Harvard School of Public Health, tells ABC.

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Dr. Phil on Mondays with Marlo

the editors at MarloThomas.com — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Bullying, Just for You, Relationships

Psychologist and hit talk show host Dr. Phil stopped by to chat with Marlo Thomas about relationships, bullying, parenting, and more!

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Bullies Apparently Have Trouble Sleeping at Night

Tom Henderson — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 13:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

No wonder bullies are grumpy! Credit: Getty Images

You have to wonder how school bullies sleep at night.

Actually (heh heh), they don't. Researchers at the University of Michigan Medical School say bullies are twice as likely to have sleep problems than their victims and nicer kids in general.

Call it God's little payback. Then again, it could be a chicken-or-the-egg conundrum. Maybe if bullies got more sleep, they wouldn't be so darn crabby.

Researchers studied the young and the restless among elementary schools in Ypsilanti, Mich., and found the bullies were particularly restless.

"What this study does is raise the possibility that poor sleep, from whatever cause, can indeed play into bullying or other aggressive behaviors -- a major problem that many schools are trying to address," Louise O'Brien, an assistant professor at the university's Sleep Disorders Center, says in a press release. "Our schools do push the importance of healthy eating and exercise, but this study highlights that good sleep is just as essential to a healthy lifestyle."

O'Brien says the study shows sleepiness is the biggest driver of the behavior problems. Then again, she adds, lack of sleep could be the result of dysfunctional family lives.

So again, the question remains: Is lack of sleep a symptom or a cause of bullying?

"We know that the pre-frontal cortex area of the brain is sensitive to sleep deprivation, and this area is also related to emotional control, decision making and social behavior," O'Brien says. "So impairment in the prefrontal cortex may lead to aggression or disruptive behavior, delinquency or even substance abuse."

Does that mean the way to deal with bullies is to put them to sleep?

As tempting as that may sound, O'Brien has other suggestions.

"The good news is that some of these behaviors can be improved," she says. "Sleep-disordered breathing can be treated, and schools or parents can encourage kids to get more sleep."

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Old Navy Markets Gay Pride Shirts to Fight Bullying

Tom Henderson — Fri, 27 May 2011 15:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

To combat anti-gay bullying, Old Navy is selling rainbow-colored T-shirts with 10 percent of profits going to the It Gets Better Project. Credit: Getty Images

Gay pride has gone mainstream -- and at Old Navy, no less.

You probably could have seen this coming with those mannequin commercials and the ads with the natty little guy who sells cargo shorts.

To combat anti-gay bullying, starting May 30, the store will offer a rainbow-colored T-shirt, donating 10 percent of the profits to the It Gets Better Project. The T-shirts, which will sell for less than $15, tell all who see them to "Love Proudly." They also feature, in smaller letters, "Gay Pride 2011."

The blogosphere is all a-twitter about the idea, and the Twitterverse is all a-buzz.

"We've always been proud to support all types of families at Cool Mom Picks -- the ones with one mommy, the ones with two mommies, the ones with no mommies at all," bloggers at Cool Mom Picks gush.

Old Navy is taking an important stand against bigotry, the blog run by Kristen Chase of Atlanta reports.

"To be clear, we're talking the kind of hate and intolerance that leads to an inexcusable rate of teen suicide in the gay community. If you haven't clicked over to the site yet to watch the videos, do it," the blog says. "And bring the Kleenex."

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Grade School's Gender Diversity Program Riles Conservatives

Tom Henderson — Wed, 25 May 2011 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying, Education: Big Kids

Learning about transgendered clownfish in school? What would Nemo say? Credit: Getty Images

Children at Redwood Heights Elementary School in Oakland, Calif., learn about lesbian lizards and transgendered clownfish.

Judge not, they are advised. Nature offers many ways to be male and many ways to be female. There are more than just two options.

Whaaat?!

Cue the moral outrage.

"This instruction does not represent the values of the majority of families in Oakland," attorney Kevin Snider of the conservative Pacific Justice Institute tells the San Francisco Chronicle in a statement.

You would think, then, the majority of parents would pull their kids out of class when the discussion veers toward lesbians. They have that right. However, Redwood Principal Sara Stone tells the Chronicle only a few kids have opted out.

Conservatives accuse school officials of having a broader agenda than teaching children about gender diversity in the animal kingdom. They're right, Stone tells the newspaper.

She wants to stop kids from being picked on for gender issues.

"If we don't have a safe, nurturing class environment, it's going to be hard to learn," Stone tells the Chronicle. "Really, the message behind this curriculum is there are different ways to be boys. There are different ways to be girls."

That's what makes conservatives grind their teeth. There are not different ways to be boys and girls, they say. Boys are boys. Girls are girls. And it is only sprouty, new-age, liberal educators who are muddying the waters.

Leaders of the Pacific Justice Institute say in a press release sent to the Chronicle that they will provide legal assistance to parents who want to challenge the curriculum.

A classic argument that homosexuality is unnatural is that there are no "gay" animals. Not so, gender teacher Joel Baum tells Redwood students. There are single-sex Hawaiian geckos, fish that switch genders and male snakes that act "girly."

"That's a lot of variation in nature," Baum tells students. "Evolution comes up with some pretty funny ways for animals to reproduce."

Evolution?!

But that's a bit of conservative moral outrage for another time. The subject at hand is swishy fish.

Actually, school officials tell the Chronicle, the subject at hand is bullying -- and how to prevent it.

"Gender harassment can start at very young ages, often before kindergarten, and it is not uncommon for children who step outside of narrow gender expectations, whether in their clothing, hair, toys or styles of play, to become the targets of mistreatment by other children," school district spokesman Troy Flint tells the newspaper.

And how do the kids feel about all this?

"I think it's about how it doesn't matter who you are," fourth-grader Desmond Pare tells the Chronicle. "If you're a girl who likes girl stuff, or a boy who like boy stuff, it just matters if you're human."

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Free to Be ... Not Anymore

the editors at MarloThomas.com — Wed, 25 May 2011 07:00:00 EST

Filed under: Bullying, Social & Emotional Growth: Tweens, Social & Emotional Growth: Teens

Watch a video on how to prevent bullying!

According to current statistics, one out of every four teenagers across America is bullied in their neighborhoods and schools. Credit: Getty Images

Just how many dead teenagers, driven to end their own lives, is it going to take for adults to stand up and say, What the hell is going on? There was a time when the words "Free to Be" embodied a hope that whatever a kid was, was good enough. But "freedom" doesn't describe the world of this generation. Or of their parents. One of those parents wrote to me on my Facebook page.

"Hi, Marlo," wrote Kevin Jacobsen of New York. "Our son Kameron was bullied relentlessly and committed suicide on January 18th. He was 14. In lieu of flowers, we asked for donations to go to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, my mom's favorite for decades. I know you're busy, but just wondering if you could take a look at our son. We have nothing else to lose."

He then posted the link to a website he'd built to honor his son, called KindnessAboveMalice.org. I logged on, but could barely look at the child's face. He was beautiful.

Thirty-seven years -- and two generations of children -- after the creation of Free to Be... You and Me, I can't help but remember the beautiful words lyricist Bruce Hart wrote that anchored the opening anthem:

"Every boy in this land grows to be his own man, In this land, every girl grows to be her own woman."

Kameron will never grow to be his own man.

For all the walls we thought we'd broken down with Free to Be -- and all the stereotypes we thought we'd shattered -- children today are not free to be anything they want to be, nor anything they are, and they are dying for it. And no beautiful lyric can fix that.

According to current statistics, one out of every four teenagers across America is bullied in their neighborhoods and schools; 160,000 students stay home from school every day because of their fear of being bullied; and each month, nearly 300,000 students are physically attacked inside their secondary schools.

Online, things are even worse: 43 percent of kids are cyber-bullied, while 53 percent admit to having said something mean and hurtful to another kid online.

Then came that tragic September -- 2010 -- when over a period of just three weeks, nine gay or questioning youths -- all male, average age 15 -- were "bullied to death," committing suicide, no longer able to endure the never-ending harassment from their peers.

Like many people, much of what I know about bullying is what I read in the headlines: 15-year-old Irish migrant Phoebe Prince of Massachusetts, hangs herself in the stairwell of her family apartment, after yet another day of relentless bullying. The harassment continued on her Facebook memorial page. Or just this month, 14-year-old Ambriel Bowen of York, Pennsylvania, commits suicide at home when the daily terrorizing by bullies -- which included two black eyes and a broken nose -- becomes too overwhelming to bear.

Reading the horrid accounts of bullied kids is devastating. But hearing the voice of a bereaved father brings tears to your eyes

I called Kevin Jacobsen after I read his Facebook post and my heart broke as he recounted his son's tragic story.

"Bullying is not the same old issue it used to be," Kevin said, softly. "With cell phones and social networking, it's turned into an around-the-clock problem that our kids cannot escape from. And the other thing that's different is that the bullies can be anonymous. And without that face-to-face encounter, it's impossible to stop them."

When I hung up with Kevin, I re-read his post, and seeing his mention of St. Jude made me think about how different the children are there. I've seen compassion, not cruelty, for each other. I've seen four- and five-year-old girls and boys offering hugs and giving comfort to two- and three-year-olds, telling them that they understand the pain they're going through, and that they will be alright.

So the idea that healthy children should die, not from an errant cancer cell, but because of the abject malice of another child, is something we need to take on. And stop.

Kevin Jennings, the assistant deputy secretary at the Department of Education, told me that most parents of bullied children have no idea about the anguish their sons and daughters are enduring, because the kids aren't talking. They're ashamed to admit it, because they think it's a sign of weakness, and they want to handle it themselves.

But if more parents would get into the game, Jennings said, we might be able to turn things around. He told me that the majority of parents haven't been trained to look for signs of bullying in their child's life. But they need to. And they can start by asking themselves a few questions:

Does your child not want to ride the school bus any more?
Does your child often wake in the morning complaining about stomach aches and asking to stay home from school?
Are your child's friends not coming around so much any more?
Has your child stopped receiving invitations to parties?

Most important, said Jennings, is if you suspect your child is being bullied, you must become proactive, and try to get that child to talk.

And I think we all have to start to talk.

If there's one thing I've learned over the years about tackling problems, it's that the first thing you need to do is spark the conversation. So let's start talking about bullying. With our neighbors. With our friends and family. With fellow parents at PTA meetings. And with each other -- right here. Let me hear what you think. It's time to take bullying down.

In the meantime, if you're worried that a child in your life might be a victim -- or is, in fact, the bully -- there are some helpful thoughts at such websites as stopbullying.gov. I'm sure there are countless other sites, and I'd like to know about those, as well. We don't have the time -- or any more kids' lives -- to waste.

It's been nearly four decades since the debut of the Free to Be message. But I 'm hopeful that, together, we can realize that place that Bruce Hart imagined where:

"Every boy in this land grows to be his own man,
In this land, every girl grows to be her own woman."

A land where the children are free... from bullying.

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Anonymous Assaults: One Family's Battle With Tween Social Networking Site Formspring

the editors at Common Sense Media — Mon, 23 May 2011 12:30:00 EST

Filed under: Media, Bullying, Opinions

Formspring is a comment-and-reply social networking site that lets kids post their deepest, darkest opinions completely anonymously. Credit: MTC

What's one of the most important things to a typical tween or teen girl? Her friends, of course. And, when it comes to her social circle, what do many girls care about more than anything? What their friends think of them. Enter Formspring, a comment-and-reply social networking site that lets kids post their deepest, darkest opinions completely anonymously.

Formspring was a running four-month-long nightmare for my daughter, her friends and her extended school community -- and we still battle my daughter's "need" to know what her friends post on the site. The kids were all being incredibly vicious to each other, as well as asking really creepy questions. What made it all creepier is that the questions could have been asked by the boy they sit next to in History ... or by a 40-year-old man, since anyone can access Formspring.

My daughter was so addicted that she kept reactivating her account behind our backs, even though the consequences were severe each time -- one week of no phone and no computer access. She kept saying "I HAVE to know what people think of me!" That's Formspring's greatest danger: It preys on the No. 1 concern of many girls.

Cruel Comments

The site describes itself as "helping people find out more about each other through sharing interesting & personal responses." But, in simple terms, Formspring is the present-day version of the bathroom stall on steroids, enabling the cruelest form of bullying with the greatest of ease. The comments and questions are typically nasty and humiliating.

Here are some Formspring posts recently copied from my daughter's friends' pages (multiple profanities omitted):

ur fat

ur stomach hangs ovr ur pants

Your face looks like a turtle

Your friend Anne is going around telling everyone ur fake and bitchy

You should just go die

And, in addition to the personal attacks, comments are frequently sexual in nature:

I want to bang you so hard

Name all the slutty things you've done

Signing Off -- And Staying Off

To an emerging teenager with a developing sense of self, a girl to whom popularity is paramount, reading posts on Formspring can become an obsession. We've chosen to forbid my daughter from using it, and she understands why. But we've discovered that it's really hard to get your kids off it once they start.

One circle of friends is no longer using it, in large part because the parents got involved in policing it. But other friends are as active as ever, which makes it hard for her to stay away.

Spread the Word

Fortunately, Formspring is coming to the attention of parents, schools and industry experts. Renowned girl expert and best-selling author Rachel Simmons, who has written a must-read post called "What Every Parent Should Know About Formspring," has likened parental consent for Formspring to allowing your child to play chicken with an oncoming train.

We continue to work with our daughter and her friends' parents to help avoid the problems associated with Formspring. Here are some key lessons we've learned the hard way. Hope they work for your family, too.

Keep checking. It's nearly impossible to disable Formspring. Even after being "disabled," an account leaps back to life in full form with one click; once you've created a profile, you're met each visit with a question asking whether you'd like to reactivate your profile. Disabling and enabling an account is essentially the same as logging off and back on. The only way to truly erase an account is to send a ticket stating that you have been bullied or harassed. It's buried in the Help section. But, obviously, your child can just open a new account.

Talk to other parents. If you find out your kid has been on Formspring, look through her list of connections for kids you know. Consider reaching out to their parents to educate them about Formspring. If they knew what it was, they likely wouldn't want their child on it.

Make other aware of the site's dangers. Launched in late 2009, Formspring already has more than 20 million accounts and 3.5 million unique visitors every day. The company recently received $11.5 million in funding. It's not going away. Yet, it's so new that many adults aren't even aware of it. Help spread the word to educators, administrators, coaches, clergy and other adults working with teens.

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Get more information for parents on media and technology by checking out Common Sense Media.

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Life a Little Better for Some Gay Teens this Prom Season

Tom Henderson — Fri, 20 May 2011 14:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

Credit: Getty Images

What if Barbie doesn't want to go to the prom with Ken? What if she would rather go with Midge?

And what about Ken? Maybe he wants to go with Blaine, now that Blaine and Barbie have ended their brief dalliance and Blaine has come to terms with certain "issues."

There was a time when you took your life in your hands if you took your same-sex prom date in your arms. It is still not advisable in towns where Toby Keith just played to sold-out crowds at the local armory.

However, the Chicago Sun-Times reports things are getting better for gay teenagers and their prom dates.

Take Jakes Rosko and Jackson Smith -- both juniors at Kaneland High School in Maple Park, Ill., a suburban community just west of Chicago.

A couple for four months, they're going to the prom together in a few weeks, and, despite all the stories about anti-gay bullying, they tell the Sun-Times they barely get a sideways glance at Kaneland High.

However, they did get a few such glances when they went together to pick out matching tuxedos the other day.

"As soon as we went into the dressing room, everyone started to whisper," Rosko tells the newspaper. "I think it's funny how people can be so closed-minded."

Kaneland High Assistant Principal Diane McFarlin tells the Sun-Times she's glad Rosko doesn't include the school community among such people. Administrators, teachers and students work to promote tolerance and acceptance, she tells the newspaper.

It was a different story when she came to the school just six years ago, she adds, whenh Rosko and Smith would have needed medical insurance more than matching tuxedos. Anti-gay hostility was rampant, she tells the Sun-Times.

Administrators created a Gay/Straight Alliance group at the school and began promoting diversity.

"Students learned what it truly means to accept and be tolerant of people they may not understand," she tells the newspaper. "It's like any civil rights movement. The issue starts pretty radically. Ten years ago, it was radical to have same-sex couples go to prom. Today, there are absolutely no limitations."

So, it's easy to be a gay teenager in 2011? Not quite.

The Sun-Times reports not all area schools are like Kaneland High. At Waubonsie Valley High School in Aurora, Ill., students tell the newspaper, you still don't want to show up at the prom with a same-sex date.

There are no rules against it -- not formally, anyway. But gay students just know it's not a good idea.

A Waubonsie junior tells the Sun-Times she knows a lot of gay students, but none of them are going to the prom together.

"They probably don't want to get made fun of," Martyna Bobek tells the newspaper. "If they did go, they'd probably go in a big group."

And gay youths generally don't congregate in gangs -- no matter what "West Side Story" suggests.

So, the prom and high school life in general remain a mixed bag for gay teenagers. However, Rosko says, the world is a definitely getting better.

He admits he is practically a walking target for bullies: He fits many gay stereotypes, loves to act, dance and sing and thinks Lady Gaga is fabulous. He is also a fashion fanatic in his own right, but the people at Kaneland High are apparently comfortable with who he is. As a result, so is he.

"I don't mind," he tells the Sun-Times of his assorted affectations. "I like to express myself in every way possible."

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It's Time to Start a 'No Mean Girls' Coalition

Katherine Stone — Fri, 20 May 2011 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Bullying, Opinions

When I was in high school, I definitely was not considered one of the "cool" girls. Apparently, if your senior year resume includes show choir and the drug-free squad, you're on the OK to Ignore and Even Jeer At If Necessary list.

I wasn't bullied, but there were certainly girls who were mean to me because I wasn't a cheerleader or on a sports team or wearing the best clothes, and, to be honest, I just never understood it. Why would someone want to purposefully ignore you, or laugh and point at you, or talk behind your back? Whatever. I grew up to kick ass anyway, but it would have been nice not to have felt hurt during those very tender and hormonal years.

Yesterday, my 5-year-old daughter encountered her first "mean girls" situation. She wanted to play with a few older girls who were out on the sidewalk in our neighborhood. She ran right up to them in her eager and jaunty way and asked to play. One of them in particular gave her a sideways icy look and said the group would be unavailable because they'd be going inside in a minute.

Madden, ever game, said she'd be perfectly willing to go inside, too. This led the haughty girl to make even more excuses about why my daughter shouldn't join in. The other two, thankfully, seemed to think it would be just fine to have little Maddie there for a while, so she stayed and I walked home.

A few minutes later, Madden came running in the house to get something one of the girls said she needed. Fine, no problem, happy to oblige. A few minutes after that she came running back into the house to get some other random thing for one of the girls. I didn't like the pattern that was developing.

"Are they playing with you?"

"Um, sort of. Well, not really."

"Why do they keep sending you running back and forth to our house to get things when they're standing right out in front of one of their houses and could get it themselves?"

"I don't know, Momma."

That was it for me. I knew this wasn't working out. I said the girls didn't really want to play with her in the first place, and now they were just sending her off on errands to get rid of her. I could feel my hackles going up, and I don't even know what hackles are. I started getting that sick mom-worry feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's not time for mean girls yet, is it? She's only 5!

It occurred to me as I stood there in the kitchen, preventing myself from inappropriately marching down the street to give the mean girls what for, that I had no idea how to handle such treatment when I was younger, and I have no idea what to do for my daughter now. Thus, I did the first thing people do when they don't know where to turn these days: I fretted publicly on Twitter.

It was amazing how many moms responded with their own worries for their daughters. It made me wonder, is it true that women and girls are catty? Is it really an inevitable part of our nature, a flaw of our gender, to gather up in cliques and be spiteful to each other, or does the female sex have an unfair reputation when it comes to this issue?

Sort of offhandedly, I tweeted "We should all start a No Mean Girls Coalition to teach our girls how to be kind to each other AND to stand up for themselves." That seemed to hit a nerve, because lots of mothers said they were ready and willing to join.

Someone pointed the Kind Campaign, of which I was unaware. Apparently, the young female filmmakers of a documentary called "Finding Kind" also have come to the conclusion that we need to be proactive in teaching our girls about relationships with each other.

"It seems that society has concluded that girls are catty and mean to each other and that it's never going to change. People fail to realize that these experiences are detrimental to a female's growth, self-esteem and ability to form healthy and functional relationships. The cruelty that exists among females is a serious issue that needs immediate attention. The goal of the film is not to point the finger at the 'mean girl,' however, because we have all been on both sides of this issue. It's about collecting stories and perspectives from females all over the country and using these stories to spread awareness and start a dialog about the issue," says Lauren Parsekian, a Kind Campaign founder.

Yes! We need a dialog. We need to come together in some purposeful and meaningful way to make sure our daughters are kind and compassionate to others, understand what being a good friend means, know how to recognize when someone is taking advantage of them and feel confident enough to walk away. So ... any ideas?

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Charges to be Dropped in Bieber NY Mall Frenzy

Associated Press — Mon, 09 May 2011 09:45:00 EST

Filed under: Celeb Kids, In The News, Bullying

Justin Bieber has agreed to record a public service announcement on cyberbullying in order to resolve misdemeanor charges filed against one of his managers and a record executive after a frenzy at a Long Island mall. Credit: AP

GARDEN CITY, N.Y. (AP) - Justin Bieber (BEE'-bur) has agreed to record a public service announcement on cyberbullying in order to resolve misdemeanor charges filed against one of his managers and a record executive after a frenzy at a New York mall.

The case stemmed from an incident in 2009, when thousands of unruly girls turned up at a clothing store on Long Island to see the teen pop star sign autographs.

Bieber manager Scott Bruan and Def Jam Records executive James Roppo were charged after police said they refused to help disperse the crowd.

Prosecutors told a judge Friday that they are dropping those charges. The record company and a management company pleaded guilty to fire code violations.

Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice tells Newsday that having Bieber educate kids about bullying is "invaluable."

Copyright 2011 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.

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Phoebe Prince's Mom Speaks Out, Faces Daughter's Bullies

Jessica Samakow — Fri, 06 May 2011 13:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

More than one year after teen Phoebe Prince committed suicide because of unbearable harassment at school, the teens who bullied her appeared in court this week to receive sentencing.

Five plead guilty and were given one year probation and 100 hours of community service. Charges were dropped completely against the sixth accused bully.

Anne O'Brien, Prince's mother, confronted her daughter's bullies in a speech aired on "Today" this morning. Tears streamed from each teen's eyes as they listened to their victim's mother paint a painstaking outline of the suffering she has endured.

"I will not be spending the summer teaching her how to drive. No. This summer, I will be negotiating with stone cutters who will design and cut the Celtic cross for her head stone," O'Brien said.

Prince's mother complimented one bully who requested a private meeting with her prior to the hearing, saying she appreciated the teen's remorse and felt satisfied that she had taken responsibility for her actions.

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Phoebe Prince's Bullies Apologize, Are Sentenced to 1 Year Probation, Community Service

Jessica Samakow — Thu, 05 May 2011 12:40:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

On Jan. 14, 2010, teenager Phoebe Prince hung herself in her home, and, soon after her death, details of the bullying and harassment she faced at school began to unravel.

Six alleged bullies faced felony charges in their hometown of Hadley, Mass.

Court reports indicate Prince was called a "whore" and that one bully suggested she kill herself, "Today" reports.

Today, more than a year later, two of the teens, Sean Mulveyhill and Kayla Narey, plead guilty to misdemeanor criminal harassment. They were sentenced to one year probation and 100 hours of community service. It is likely the others charged will strike similar deals to avoid jail time.

Narey rose in court to read an emotional apology addressed to Prince in which she apologized for her unkindness, and for laughing when others tormented the girl. She also apologized to the Prince family for the suffering they have endured.

Prince's mom agreed to the deal to avoid a trial. "Today" reports there was not a dry eye in the room as she addressed her daughter's bullies for the first time in court, reflecting on the pain of saying goodbye to her daughter.

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Bullying Parents May Lead Kids to Bully, Study Finds

Lesley Kennedy — Mon, 02 May 2011 12:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

Parents who are often angered by their kids increase the risk of turning their child into a bully. Credit: Getty Images

Want to stop your kid from being a bully? Start talking and stop getting mad.

A new study finds parents who are often angry or bothered by their kids increase the risk of a child turning into a bully, while moms and dads who communicate with their kids and know most of their friends are unlikely to raise a bully, LiveScience reports.

"The protective factors that I think can really be helpful, if we can focus on building them, is having parents who share ideas, talk well or very well with their child and have met most or all of their child's friends," Rashmi Shetgiri, study researcher of the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas, tells LiveScience.

The research, presented May 1 in Denver at the annual Pediatric Academic Societies meeting, used data from a national phone survey, according to the website.

Data collected from parents of 10- to 17-year-olds from 2003 to 2007, found 23 percent of kids had been bullies some time in 2003, with that number rising to 35 percent in 2007, LiveScience reports.

Other findings, according to the website include:

Kids with emotional, behavioral or developmental problems were more likely to bully.
Parents who said they often felt angry or bothered by their kids were more apt to have children who bullied.
Mothers with mental health problems were more likely to have bullying children.

The study, however, doesn't answer the old chicken or the egg question: Do impatient parents cause kids to bully, or do kids who bully make their folks impatient?

Shetgiri tells LiveScience, finding that answer would require more long-time studies, but she does tell the website parenting interventions could help prevent bullying.

"Interventions that help parents become more involved in their children's lives and that help parents communicate better with their children may be helpful," she tells the website.

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School Nurses May Be Able to ID Bullies

Tom Henderson — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 14:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

Watch Video Related to Bullying

Nurses aren't only good a fixing scrapes, but now they may be able to fix the bullying issue. Credit: AFP/Getty Images

Children may be reluctant to speak out if they're being bullied, but the logs in school nurses' offices may tell the tale.

Nurses often treat the victims of bullies -- but not necessarily for noogies, Dutch rubs and purple nurples. More than anything, bullies tend to create stomachaches and other stress-related complaints.

In other words, they eat away at the soul.

US News & World Report tells of research at the University of Kansas in Lawrence that could make this a good thing. Researchers tell the magazine nurses' logs might help identify victims and, ultimately, stop their bullies.

"If a child is frequently showing up at the nurse's office with a fever or vomiting and no obvious illness, it might reflect the visit is related to victimization and to some extent aggression," Eric Vernberg, lead author of the study and director of the Child and Family Services Clinic at the University of Kansas, tells the magazine.

When a student visits a school nurse frequently and parents get calls about their child complaining of stomachaches, he adds, "it's certainly worth examining the child's relationship with [his or her] peers."

Kansas researchers studied 590 children in third through fifth grades -- identifying a small but statistically significant number who were bullied at six Topeka primary schools. Researchers found bullying victims went to a nurse's office an average of 4.71 times during the 2000-01 school year.

About 45 percent of the visits to the school nurse were for complaints such as headaches. Another 13 percent of visits were for illnesses with physical symptoms. And 42 percent were for physical injuries with no specific reasons, based on nursing log notes.

Jeffrey Jenson, the chief investigator in a Youth Matters project that focused on aggression and substance use prevention at 28 elementary schools in Denver, tells US News & World Report the Kansas study makes a significant contribution to research on school bullying.

"The focus doesn't have to be on bullying, per se, but on developing the necessary skills to help children in situations where bullying might arise," Jenson tells the magazine.

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Bullying and Being Bullied Start at Home, Study Finds

Mary Beth Sammons — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

Watch Video Related to Bullying

Bullies -- and the victims of bullying on the schoolyard -- often experience the same violence at home. Credit: Getty Images

What happens behind a family's closed doors doesn't always stay there, especially when it comes to repeating bad behavior.

Bullies -- and the victims of schoolyard bullying -- often experience the same violence at home, a new study suggests.

Reuters reports researchers at the Centers for Disease Control found that middle school- and high school-aged bullies and victims reported being physically hurt by a family member or witnessing violence at home significantly more than those who had not been bullied.

According to the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, the researchers studied data from the Massachusetts Department of Public Health, where state officials have been in the forefront of the bullying debate after the reported suicides of 15-year-old Phoebe Prince last year and 11-year-old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover in 2009.

The state passed anti-bullying legislation in May 2010, which prohibits bullying in school and online, and mandates school-developed bullying prevention and intervention plans.

But in using the Massachusetts data, the CDC also found bullies and their victims reported being physically hurt by a family member or witnessing violence at home significantly more often than people who said they had not been bullied.

Twenty-six percent of middle school students and 15 percent of high school students reported being victims of bullying, according to the report. Fifty-six percent of middle school students and 69.5 percent of high school kids reported never being bullied. And 9.9 percent of middle school males and 12.1 of high school males reported being the bullies. Only 5 percent of middle school girls and 4.8 percent of high school girls were categorized as bullies.

"A comprehensive approach that encompasses school officials, students and their families is needed to prevent bullying among middle school and high school students," the CDC researchers say in the report.

The report, the CDC tells Reuters, was the first state-specific analysis of risk factors and bullying, and also notes that significant numbers of bullies and bully-victims said they had recently used alcohol or drugs.

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Parents Sue School District After Their 13-Year-Old's Suicide Following Sexting Bullying

Lesley Kennedy — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 12:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Bullying

A Florida school district is being sued by the parents of an eighth grade student who committed suicide in 2009, after being harassed by classmates due to a sexting incident, Reuters reports.

The news service says Donna and Charles Witsell claim Hillsborough County school officials did not take appropriate action after learning their 13-year-old daughter had suicidal thoughts, according to the lawsuit filed this week in Tampa, Fla., federal court.

Hope Witsell hanged herself Sept. 12, 2009, after students viciously bullied her for texting a suggestive photo of herself to a boy, according to the news service.

After her daughter's death, Reuters reports, Donna Witsell found a copy of a "no-harm contract" signed by Hope the day before she took her life. According to the lawsuit, the contract stated that Hope agreed not to attempt suicide and would contact a school social worker if she had suicidal feelings, the news service reports.

The Witsells say the school's social worker failed to alert them -- or the school psychologist, principal, school resource officer or the girl's counselor -- to concerns about Hope, including signs the teen had been cutting herself, Reuters reports.

"The parents accuse the school district of negligence and violating the teen's and their own constitutional rights," Reuters reports, adding that the school district does not comment on pending litigation.

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