ParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.comParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.com/media/feedlogo.gifParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.comen-usCopyright 2012 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only.Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Try This: How Do You Punish a Teenager?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/01/try-this-how-do-you-punish-a-teenager/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/01/try-this-how-do-you-punish-a-teenager/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/01/try-this-how-do-you-punish-a-teenager/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,



Your rebellious teenager is acting up and you know that banning dessert or giving timeouts won't work anymore.

So, now what?

When it comes to disciplining teens, taking away electronics, like cell phones and iPods, seems to be a growing trend.

But, is banning Facebook really an effective punishment method as well? Healthguidance.com recommends implementing related punishments so that the punishment does, in fact, fit the crime.

Also, punishments should be practical so that your teen knows you are serious. Threatening to never let her out of the house again just isn't going to fly, and your teenage daughter knows it. Choose a punishment that you can follow through on and your budding adult will be more likely to follow your rules.

What have you done that works?

Looking for family meal ideas? Get tips from other parents at KitchenDaily.

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]]>AdvertiserTue, 01 Feb 2011 14:02:00 ESTThe Chinese Mom Gets Her Just Desserts: Does Strict Parenting Spell Success?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/28/the-chinese-mom-gets-her-just-desserts-does-strict-parenting-sp/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/28/the-chinese-mom-gets-her-just-desserts-does-strict-parenting-sp/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/28/the-chinese-mom-gets-her-just-desserts-does-strict-parenting-sp/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Amy Chua, aka The Chinese Mom, author of "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom," is the woman who rejected her 4-year-old's homemade birthday card because it wasn't good enough. I could argue her no playdates, no second-place child-rearing regime is an attempt at control in a complicated world. I could speculate that it's a middle finger to the reigning parenting culture with its everybody-wins-a-medal, let's-talk-it-out while I drive you and your five friends to the birthday party.

Or I could treat the Tiger Mom to some of her own medicine.

She wants results. I got them.

Bring on the results, the cold hard evidence. Does "Chinese parenting" help kids? Or is it the fast track to an adulthood spent in therapy? Here's what we know:

Authoritarian parenting. These parents, like Chua, cherish rules and expectations but not negotiation or warm fuzzy moments. We got piles of evidence children raised by strict, stern parents aren't as well-adjusted or successful as those with "authoritative" parents who show more affection and wiggle room ("Tell me, honey, why did you hit your brother?").

Make that kids raised in the U.S. and other cultures that value individuality and independence.

Chinese kids do just fine with authoritarian parents. They often appear better off than those with authoritative parents. Cross-cultural studies suggest people raised in cultures that value interdependence perceive tough love as a sign of affection. The fate of Chinese American kids -- those raised in the U.S. by Chinese or other non-Western authoritarian parents -- that's another question under investigation in a large study right now by Chinese-American researcher Ruth Chao.

Self-Esteem. Cross-cultural studies also find strict parenting by itself doesn't lower self-confidence. How kids perceive it is key. If you think mommy doesn't find you all that, you got issues. Affluent teenage girls appear especially vulnerable to mommy's disapproval, but most of this data comes from studies on white U.S. youths. By the way, psychologist Roy Baumeister, the man who put self-esteem on a pedestal back in the '70s now regrets it. Says it's overrated.

Praise. It may be overrated, too. Research shows applause can backfire if parents focus on results ("Awesome drawing!") or innate abilities ("You're an amazing artist!") rather than efforts ("You worked so hard!"). Kids told they're smart over and over attribute achievements to their brains and not their efforts. Bad grades mean they're not smart, so hey, why bother studying next time. Good grades mean they're smart, so why study? Non-Westerner parents tend to attribute success more to effort than talent or ability and that's good for motivating kids. Tiger Mom obviously believes in the power of practice and hard work at least in so much as it achieves stellar results. Unfortunately, anything less is failure.

What else? There's been mention of high suicide rates among Asian American youths, though the stats are inconsistent. There's also some talk about a lack of creativity in Asian parenting, but not much there to pick apart either. However, lots of research attests to the benefits of social intelligence and how the most successful adults aren't the smartest but the most socially gifted. So the birthday parties and sleepovers aren't mere child's play, but productive work sessions. Any fun, thus, icing on the cake.

No, I didn't read Chua's memoir because there's not going to be a test. Certainly Ms. Chua doesn't expect me or anyone to read it for pleasure.

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]]>amy chuaAmyChuatiger momtiger motherTigerMomTigerMotherPolly PalumboFri, 28 Jan 2011 11:35:00 ESTIs Bieber Fever Hazardous to Mental Health?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/is-bieber-fever-hazardous-to-mental-health/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/is-bieber-fever-hazardous-to-mental-health/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/is-bieber-fever-hazardous-to-mental-health/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Justin Bieber picture

Do you have Bieber fever? Credit: Chris Polk/KCA2010/Getty Images for KC

Parents of tweenage girls, Twitterers, trend-watchers-and the rest of the world, probably-know all about Justin Bieber, the 16-year-old pop sensation who appears to have sprung fully-formed from the Canadian heartland to take America by storm. And those with more than a passing interest and access to the Internet likely know that the teen star has been linked to the latest in a string of young women, the singer Selena Gomez, who is 18. Recently, the Web was aflutter over pictures of the two on a Caribbean vacation, apparently locking lips. Innocent fun, right? Free of consequences? Not when the "Beliebers" get you in their sights.

In fact, the combination of "Bieber fever" and Twitter has turned lethal -- at least verbally, as some fans have actually issued death threats targeted at Gomez. And while the anonymity of the Internet cloaks the age of these posters, they are likely young girls and adolescents. Take your pick of shocking posts:

o. "@selenagomez I'll kiII you I swear on GOD!!!!"
o. "@selenagomez stay away from Justin ped0phile, retard wait i'm gonna kiII ya in the night underneath your smelly bed"
o. "@selenagomez whore cancer whore..like i'mm kiII myself cuz i saw you and Justin kissing well thankyou Selena thankyou now i'm kiIILing myself"

Death threats? Slurs? Suicidal language? Why would our children type these things? Sadly, it's another side-effect of the culture of the Web: Just like teens bully their peers even more viciously online than in real life because the consequences aren't immediately apparent, children and adolescents in the virtual world are quicker and more outrageous in their anger or despair when faced with a setback. The stream-of-consciousness spewing of raw feeling has, unfortunately, become accepted as a form of authenticity. As if the immediacy of the emotion somehow excuses the virulence of what's being expressed.

Which leads to a another disturbing question: How did our kids get so deeply invested in Justin Bieber's love life? Don't they know he doesn't sing just for them?

Girls today can get incredibly wrapped up in relationships that in reality are nothing but fiction. This is nothing new, of course -- mention Sinatra, Elvis, the Beatles, David Cassidy, Michael Jackson, New Kids on the Block, the Backstreet Boys, and any number of women of every age will recall a youthful infatuation bordering on obsession. And yet today it is different -- young fans have a much stronger illusion of access to their idols, who communicate "directly" to them on their smartphones and iPads via social media. A youngster could be forgiven for thinking that Justin Bieber is, in this virtual universe, reciprocating her affections.

This is just what Bieber's media machine is after. An astute reader of the Huffington Post points out that in some countries in Asia, like South Korea, male pop stars are forbidden from having public romantic relationships to preserve the fiction for their young female fans -- and thus pad the bottom line. This fiction can be dangerous -- sure enough, at a Bieber concert in Australia last year, a number of young fans were crushed in the rush to be near the stage and their virtual beau in the flesh. But the more pervasive danger is emotional -- as evidenced by the virulent outpouring following the Gomez flap. And it's especially worrying because these obsessions are less and less visible to parents.

The days of posters, magazines, and massive CD collections are gone, all disappeared inside the computer, or even the device in a kid's pocket. Endless calls that used to tie up the phone are now silent text messages. And with this increased access -- that Bieber has to his fans, that they have to him, that our children have to the wider community on the Web -- the harmless, if hysterical, crushes of the past now spur open talk of murder and suicide. Another HuffPo commenter makes light of the phenomenon -- in the '80s and early '90s, she writes, "we didn't have 'THE INTERNET,' we had AOL! It was way too slow for us to be totally outraged on the Internet." This joke contains a fairly substantial kernel of truth: The Web is not just a forum, a new method of communication; it amplifies raw emotions, passing rages, and their consequences.

Bieber's mother is reportedly upset with him about the pictures. We don't need to be angry with our kids, but we need to teach them that the rules they know to follow don't magically disappear when they're in front of a keyboard and a screen. We understand that these Beliebers on Twitter probably don't truly feel murderous or suicidal; they're indulging in adolescent exaggeration, and if we heard them say it, we would probably hear it that way. But these kinds of remarks read very differently in print -- you just can't tell online. And remember that when 18-year-old Tyler Clementi killed himself last year, following a heartless prank, he left this message on Facebook: "jumping off the gw bridge sorry."

Knowing the difference between real pain and teen exaggeration is key to monitoring our kids' emotional lives in this digital age, and the only way to do that is to know your child. Be tuned in to her moods; talk to her about her music and her crushes. You want to understand how powerful her interest is, gauge how emotionally involved she is, and know when she's suffering -- even if the object of her affections is someone she's never met. It's not easy; not a lot of parenting in the 2.0 world is. But this is her life. You want to be there for her, even if it seems too silly to be serious. A broken heart is a broken heart, even on the Web.

Alan Ravitz, MD, MS, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute. For more on parenting adolescents, go to childmind.org, which offers advice and a wealth of information on childhood psychiatric and learning disorders.

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]]>justin bieberJustinBieberSelenaGomezDr. Alan RavitzWed, 05 Jan 2011 18:00:00 ESTThis Holiday Season, Let Them Be Kidshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/23/this-holiday-season-let-them-be-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/23/this-holiday-season-let-them-be-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/23/this-holiday-season-let-them-be-kids/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , ,

A woman who attended my workshop took me aside to tell me about her son and his friend. They are 15, and the friend was dealing with some really upsetting issues at home. He felt comfortable and safe at her house and she and her son had taken this boy under their wings. What she found remarkable was that in his overly stressed state, he found refuge in the simplest video games from his youth.

She explored this further and began to closely observe more of her son's friends. She noticed that all of them, when they were relaxed and comfortable, loved to revert to playing the games they enjoyed when they were 10. Her theory is that these boys are under so much pressure to behave older than they feel that it is a complete relief when they can allow themselves to let their hair down and really relax with their friends. And sometimes it makes them feel happy and comfortable to play like kids.

This is true whether your teen is a boy or girl, in middle school or high school, in the "popular" crowd or not ... teens often feel as though they are on a stage performing when they go to school. They feel evaluated and judged, and if they don't measure up they feel worse.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your teen this Christmas vacation is the opportunity to relax and be a kid. When the snow comes, encourage sledding, skating and have the hot chocolate ready. Rent old movies from when they were little. Get out old fashioned games -- even board games. And if they get silly and act like they did when they were 10 -- all the better. To be able to relax that much, to feel that comfortable with family or a few chosen friends is a great gift. Not just this vacation, but anytime.

Your teens have a lifetime in front of them to learn to be an adult. And these days of their youth are fading fast. Help them make a few more memories.

Reprinted with permission from Sue Blaney. Read more of her two-minute parenting tips on PleaseStopTheRollerCoaster.com.

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]]>Sue Blaney From Please Stop The Roller CoasterThu, 23 Dec 2010 18:35:00 ESTMiley Cyrus, Salvia and Parenting in the YouTube Agehttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/21/miley-cyrus-salvia-and-parenting-in-the-youtube-age/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/21/miley-cyrus-salvia-and-parenting-in-the-youtube-age/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/21/miley-cyrus-salvia-and-parenting-in-the-youtube-age/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,



Good parenting seems to get new enemies all the time: new drugs, new media, new "role models." This month's culprits: salvia divinorum, YouTube, Miley Cyrus.

The young songstress and provocateur was recently caught on video smoking a bong and quickly dissolving into giggles, a conspicuous lack of coordination, and patter that suggested she was hallucinating. Watchers have concluded that she was probably smoking salvia -- also known as Magic Mint or Sally D -- the most potent psychedelic herb in the world, which happens to only last 15 minutes or so and is undetectable with normal drug tests. In addition to those and a host of other interesting properties, salvia has one that parents might find even more terrifying: It's legal. Happy Holidays indeed.

If you can't wrap your head around that, you're not alone. Many states have banned or regulated the drug, and the video has sparked more talk of similar moves, but the federal government is silent. In any case, it is readily available on the Internet and in head shops, and some reports indicate an explosion in sales following the Cyrus video -- think of it as a "cool, Miley's doing it" effect. And it's not just her; there are scores of videos of young people trashed on salvia on YouTube. We have to face facts: parenting 2.0 isn't just harder, it's different, and the Internet can sometimes be a scarier and more detrimental environment than even the worst street corner.

And Miley's video doesn't make warning kids about the dangers of this drug any easier. She takes a hit, laughs, thinks some other guy is her boyfriend, and wants "some more of that s**t." But the video, like many others on the Web, does not begin to tell the story of salvia divinorum. This is a powerful hallucinogen used by the Mazatec Indians in Mexico for religious rituals going back hundreds of years. It is not a recreational drug; it is not a social drug; it is not a "fun" drug. It is a dissociative psychedelic that can inspire a total separation from reality, terrifying visions, and a feeling that one is dying. On the other hand, it can also inspire very deep spiritual experiences, which is why it has been used so long in religious rituals.

This whole flap does a real disservice to young people: they see that something is "fun;" they find out that it's legal -- and then they end up in a dissociative hallucination that resembles nothing so much as an episode of extreme psychosis, pleasant or unpleasant.

Now, I'm not naïve about drugs, and I don't profess to know if people should or shouldn't take salvia. What I do know is that the adolescent brain -- even Miley Cyrus' brain -- is still developing, and is emphatically not the proper target for any hallucinogen, especially one that may cause immense psychic stress. This is doubly true for adolescents diagnosed with or at risk for psychiatric disorders like bipolar and schizophrenia; for them, hallucinogens can do outsized harm. Sadly, these same adolescents are the ones getting the message that salvia is a party drug -- and their developing brains are also prone to make reckless decisions.

This might seem like an impossible situation: images of a popular young star appearing to have fun while on a legal substance propagated over a vast communications network that the younger generation considers its birthright and raison d'etre. What is a parent to do?

The tools of a parent aren't numerous, but used effectively they can be very powerful. So you do what you can: supervise as best as possible; this not only gives you a window into what's going on in his or her world, but also lets your kid know that you're interested and involved. When children know you care, they'll care about what you have to say.

This brings us to the next point: have a dialogue, be forthright about your concerns, and make sure you listen as much as you talk. In an uncertain and occasionally scary world, a trusting, understanding connection between you and your child can make all the difference. Remember: you can't get rid of salvia, YouTube, or Miley Cyrus. And if a kid wants to play with fire because of poor information and bad role models, there may be little you can do about changing their desires. But you can let your children know that you don't want that for them, and why. If you can make sense to them, they can make the sensible decision.

Alan Ravitz, MD, MS, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute.

For more on navigating the world of adolescence and drugs, go to childmind.org, which offers parenting advice and a wealth of information on childhood psychiatric and learning disorders.

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]]>miley cyrusMileyCyrussalviaDr. Alan RavitzTue, 21 Dec 2010 16:40:00 ESTComing of Age Ceremonies Transform 'The Curse' Into a Celebration Embracing Womanhoodhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/20/coming-of-age-ceremonies-transform-the-curse-into-a-celebratio/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/20/coming-of-age-ceremonies-transform-the-curse-into-a-celebratio/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/20/coming-of-age-ceremonies-transform-the-curse-into-a-celebratio/#commentsFiled under: , ,

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The Brave Heart Society believes that the transition to womanhood is something to be celebrated. Courtesy of The Brave Heart Society


Remember when the onset of your first period was a clandestine event marked by "the talk?" Your mom marched you to her closet where she had secretly stashed away a Kotex "starter" kit, offering vague instructions designed to smooth the transition to womanhood?

Later, you stuffed your soiled undies in the garbage and nearly died of embarrassment as you heard your mom declare to a friend on the phone: "My baby girl is a woman!"

That was probably the moment you understood why menstruation is often called "The Curse."

Well, good news: Our daughters have come a long way, baby. While we were dealing with PMS, sexual insecurities and popping Midol, a group of South Dakota women have revived and reinvented a centuries-old ritual that celebrates the blood, or how it lets womanhood shine.

The group, The Brave Heart Society, believes this rite of passage is a gift and created "Four Days, Nights: A Girls' Coming-Of-Age Ceremony" where, last month, five young girls raised a tepee on a grassy bank of the Missouri River on the Yankton Sioux/Ihanktonwan Oyate Reservation in South Dakota. They shared their story with the Kitchen Sisters.

The ritual marked the first day of the celebration for their womanhood.

"The Brave Heart society reconnects women and girls with the culture that was stolen from them, in the most powerful way possible," Olympic gold medalist and Running Strong for Indian Youth spokesman Billy Mills tells ParentDish. "By bringing back a once-vanished coming-of-age ceremony, Lakota, Dakota and Nakota women are reclaiming what's theirs. Girls in Indian country face many challenges, but the Brave Heart Society reminds us that while many of our communities are economically very poor, we remain culturally very rich."

Now in its 14th year, it turns out the group's ceremonies that model empowering womanhood with "coming of age" rituals are an ancient idea that was shoved under the proverbial carpet in the pre-June Cleaver "let's not tell anyone" '50s, '60s and '70s eras.

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Young women participate in a four-day ceremony called Isnati Awicadowanpi. Courtesy of The Brave Heart Society

The ceremony, also called Isnati Awicadowanpi, was almost completely lost to Dakota women until recently, but was pieced together through interviews with the elders and grandmothers who recreated it.

"I was part of the first group who went through this Isnati coming-of-age ceremony 13 years ago," one of the teenage participants tells NPR, referring to the first year in recent history that the ancient ritual was revived and reinvented.

With American and European contact, many such societies and ceremonies have been lost in the past 100 years. In 1994, Brave Hearts interviewed grandmothers from three states about what they remembered of the Isnati Awicadowanpi coming-of-age ceremony and replicated the ceremony for their daughters and granddaughters.

"In the old days," one of the Brave Heart members tells NPR, "as soon as a girl had her first moon, her menses, she would immediately be isolated from the rest of the camp and begin a four-day ceremony where she was taught by other women. So we symbolically set up one camp a year and have the girls come in for four days."

"At times, we have a nutritionist come in and talk to them about eating right and not just drinking Gatorade, about not being afraid of doctors and having to get a check-up," Brook Spotted Eagle says. "Sexual abuse and incest can pose a huge problem within families. There's no easy way to talk about these issues, so you just have to get them out there. And we're always talking about this concept of a camp circle. We can't be attacking each other and doing this mean girls stuff."

Since it was reclaimed and reinvented 13 years ago, almost 90 teenage girls have experienced this rite of passage.

These days, manufacturers, including Kotex, are embracing a shift of consciousness surrounding the start of cycling for young girls. Modern period starter kits are branded "OMG I got my period," and Kotex launched two online communities, one called Girlspace for girls to talk about their "periods, boys, shoes and whatever ... and share tips for pads or tampons," and The Ladies Room where moms and daughters can share their thoughts and feelings about this passage.

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]]>first periodFirstPeriodmenstruationmenstruation ceremonyMenstruationCeremonyrite of passageRiteOfPassageMary Beth SammonsWed, 20 Oct 2010 12:00:00 ESTYour Kid Crazy? Don't Worry, It's a Big Clubhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/14/your-kid-crazy-dont-worry-its-a-big-club/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/14/your-kid-crazy-dont-worry-its-a-big-club/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/14/your-kid-crazy-dont-worry-its-a-big-club/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Is moodiness in teens a medical condition? Credit: Getty Images

Teenagers are nuts.

Tell you something you don't know? Very well. Let's get clinical.

At least one in five adolescents in the United States has some kind of mental disorder that makes day-to-day life a pain in the butt for themselves, those around them or both.

That's not exactly how the National Institute of Mental Health put it. But that's the gist.

And if your kid has asthma or diabetes, watch out. Researchers for the institute claim in the October issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry that those kids are more likely to have more intense emotional and behavior disorders.

But not to worry. Researchers say a high percentage of kids experience some kind of mental disorder in puberty in various shades and degrees.

Kathleen Ries Merikangas and her colleagues at the institute looked at psychological statistics from 10,123 teens ages 13 to 18 across the United States.

One of five teens suffered from disorders such as panic attacks and anxiety disorders (especially in social situations), as well as attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity, depression and general moodiness.

Moody, depressed and hyperactive teens with short attention spans who don't handle themselves well in social situations? Sounds like a nasty case of puberty. Who knows were it will lead. Left untreated they could become ... [just like the rest of the human race.]

And ask anyone in the universe. That species is really crazy.

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]]>mental disordersMentalDisordersteen depressionTeenDepressionteens and depressionTeensAndDepressionTom HendersonThu, 14 Oct 2010 16:00:00 ESTCaution: New Teen Driver, Terrified Parenthttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/caution-new-teen-driver-terrified-parent/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/caution-new-teen-driver-terrified-parent/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/caution-new-teen-driver-terrified-parent/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,




It's easy enough for the folks at AAA to say parents need to spend more time teaching teenagers how to drive.

Sure, let those people hurtle the wrong way down on a one-way street during 5 p.m. rush hour, sitting next to a panicky teenage driver who, let's face it, isn't exactly Albert Einstein even when he does know what the $#@! he's going.

It's scary!

Still, those scolding school marms at AAA say you better go to the store, buy yourself a spine and do your duty. As dangerous as jittery juveniles can be when you're teaching them to drive, imagine what they're like without you there to scream "Ohmigod!" and grab the wheel.

AAA points out that teenagers crash more cars than any group of drivers in the United States. In 2008, according to AAA, 1,368 new drivers between the ages of 15 and 18 died in car accidents.

Parents just don't spend enough time teaching teenagers how to drive, according to a study released by the AAA Foundation just this week.

How do researchers know this? They did a little snooping.

Researchers from the University of North Carolina's Highway Safety Research Center attached dashboard cameras to the cars of some 50 North Carolina families. They also interviewed parents 10 times during the year between kids getting their learner's permits and their actual licenses.

Kids don't get enough experience driving on different kinds of roads with different amounts of traffic and in different situations, researchers concluded. According to AAA stats, about a quarter of fatal crashes involving teens happen between 9 p.m. and midnight.

"A disappointing result was that only 20 percent of the time parents and teenagers were in the car at night, rain and heavy traffic. Eighty percent were found in benign or routine circumstances -- to and from school, to and from church," Peter Kissinger, president of the AAA Foundation, tells ABC News. "Parents need to give additional experience."

Beyond that, parents spend only a pitiful amount of time teaching their kids to drive at all.

Kissinger tells ABC his organization would like to see parents spend at least 100 hours teaching kids to drive. (The majority of states only require 50 hours.)

Almost 70 percent of parents in the study said busy schedules got in their way. No excuse, Kissinger tells ABC, noting that inexperience behind the wheel is the leading cause of most crashes involving teens.

"The best way to learn is to practice with an engaged parent," he says. "Everyone goes through a learning process."

About half of the parents in the study said they didn't feel comfortable being on the road in rain or heavy traffic with an inexperienced teen driver. However, they apparently don't mind other people doing it. Even without experience in bad weather or traffic, about 40 percent of the families still let their kids get licenses when they hit 16.

Talk about scary.

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]]>aaateen driversteen drivingteen driving safetyTeenDriversTeenDrivingTeenDrivingSafetyteens drivingTeensDrivingTom HendersonWed, 13 Oct 2010 17:30:00 ESTSemester Abroad Leads to More Brewskis and Vino for College Studentshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/drinking-in-college/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/drinking-in-college/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/drinking-in-college/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Drinking in college increases when students study abroad. Credit: Getty Images

In the midst of gaining cross-cultural skills, learning a foreign language and garnering a global understanding, college students studying abroad are busy raising their beer steins and vino glasses -- at more than double the rate of their peers back home, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Hey, someone had to help with the research, and 177 students at the University of Washington volunteered to get drunk for the sake of science. The students shared their drinking habits before their international adventures, during their treks and back home (an average of three to five years), according to the newspaper. The findings were published in the journal Psychology of Addictive Behaviors.

The researchers at the University Of Washington Department Of Psychology found, overall, that student drinking more than doubled while abroad, but returned to pre-travel levels when the students came back home. However, the heaviest drinkers drank more when they got back.

Location also was a contributing factor, with international collegiate adventurers in Europe, Australia and New Zealand leading the drinking pack, according to the Times. Additionally, students in Latin America drank significantly more when they returned, compared to pre-trip levels.

Younger students -- those under 21 -- drank less than their older peers before traveling, but once in Europe, they started hitting the brewskis about 170 percent more than their pre-travel days, the Times reports. These younger college students also drank more when they returned, compared with before their trip abroad, where the legal drinking age is below 21.

"The study abroad experience presents both unique opportunities and unique risks for students," study co-author Mary Larimer, director of the Center for the Study of Health & Risk Behaviors, says in a news release. "Working with these students pre-departure is a terrific opportunity to help reduce their risks for drinking consequences while abroad, and may also help prevent difficulties when they return home."

UW graduate student and researcher Eric Pedersen tells the Huffington Post he would expect to get similar results at other universities.

"I don't think this is just a UW problem," says the psychology student, who notes, however, that his study sample included more women than the national average for studying abroad and the students he looked at were more diverse ethnically than the national average.

He tells the Huffington Post his research did not pinpoint why students drink more while they study abroad, but the results don't necessarily indicate binge drinking. Pedersen says a drink or so each night with dinner could add up to the 10 drinks a week European visitors reported on average.

"In general, drinking is an issue on college campuses, " Pedersen tells the website. "When you take that and put it in a foreign country, there's potential for more consequences.

He notes, however, that most students who study overseas, including those who drink, do not get in trouble while they're abroad.

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]]>alcoholcollege and alcoholcollege drinkingCollegeAndAlcoholCollegeDrinkingstudy abraodStudyAbraodMary Beth SammonsWed, 13 Oct 2010 13:30:00 ESTOpinion: Bullying Stops With Parentshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/08/bullying-stops-with-parents/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/08/bullying-stops-with-parents/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/08/bullying-stops-with-parents/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tyler Clementi, 18, a first year student at Rutgers University in New Jersey, killed himself shortly after being spied on and having footage of himself streamed online. Credit: AFP/Getty Images

Last week we mourned over several teenage suicides: Kids ages 13 to 18 from New Jersey, Texas, California, Indiana and Minnesota who were bullied because of their actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. These tragedies occurred in red and blue states, major cities and rural communities, and probably much closer to home than any of us want to consider.

And these were only the ones we read about.

Here are some horrifying statistics. Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24, and fourth for children ages 10 to 14. A 2008 survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention revealed that one-third of high-school students had seriously considered suicide, created a plan or actually tried to take their own life in the 12 months preceding the survey. Furthermore, boys have a higher rate of suicides, yet girls are also more prone to report their own attempts. And gay kids, according to other surveys, are at least twice as likely to make suicide attempts.

These are our sons and daughters -- tweens and teens grappling with who they are in the romantic world, so many of whom are bullied at school for being different, so many of whom remain silent about their struggles and pain.

This needs to stop. Both the bullying and the silent shame. Every one of us has the capacity to be the catalyst to end this misery. Take personal responsibility by reaching out to the children around you and making sure they are all safe, no matter who they are.

Start with your own dinner table and ask your child, "Who's being bullied at school?" Statistics dictate that teenage suicide will touch us all at some point, but those numbers don't have to stay that way.Talk to your kids and figure out where the bullying is going on, then use the resources below to empower yourself to make a difference.

Teach your child to believe in himself as well as standing up for those around him. And if your child is the bully, end that behavior immediately. Parents, check your own bullying tendencies as well. Answer this question honestly: What am I doing that's contributing to this situation? Chances are, there's something you can change in your own behavior and attitudes that will have a major impact on your kids and the world around them.

Don't wait until another child suicide story hits the front page before making this a priority in your family ... because that could be one day too late.

GLSEN: The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network offers a comprehensive list of anti-bullying resources.

PFLAG: Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays is a family-based organization committed to the civil rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. They offer parents 10 ways to make our schools safer and ways to report bullying in schools.

The Trevor Project: The Trevor Project focuses on crisis intervention and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. The confidential hotline is 866-488-7386. Check out their section on suicidal signs and facts and advice on how to help someone who is suicidal.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255)

Eddie Mercado is senior manager at AOL and works closely with the ParentDish team.

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]]>bully victimsbullyingBullyVictimsSuicidesuicide helpsuicide preventionSuicideHelpSuicidePreventionteenage suicideTeenageSuicideEddie MercadoFri, 08 Oct 2010 17:23:00 ESTCondom Sense: Trojan Ranks 13 Most Sexually Healthy Collegeshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/07/condom-sense-trojan-ranks-13-most-sexually-healthy-colleges/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/07/condom-sense-trojan-ranks-13-most-sexually-healthy-colleges/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/07/condom-sense-trojan-ranks-13-most-sexually-healthy-colleges/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

trojan condom picture

Columbia University had the highest "sexual GPA." Credit: Getty Images

Crazy parties, wild behavior, one-night stands, unprotected sex: This is the stuff that causes parents to wake in a cold sweat when they think of their sons or daughters on campus.

Well, here's some good news: A growing number of campus health and wellness offices, along with sex experts, want to help ease your nightmares and are taking steps to make sexual health a priority at their schools. And guess who's helping them help your kids stay STD free?

Trojan. The condom giant just released its fifth annual Sexual Health Report Card, which looked at 141 colleges and ranked them according to the quality and accessibility of their sexual health resources. The report zeroes in on 12 categories ranging from contraceptive availability and STD testing to sexual assault programs, according to a news release. Each school was given a "GPA" based on its average in the areas, with 4.0, naturally, being the highest possible rating.

Columbia University in New York City topped the honor roll with a 3.70, distinguishing itself with Go Ask Alice, a comprehensive website that allows students to submit questions anonymously. Current topics span the health scope: "Keeping the flow with a condom," "Numbing lube safety for anal sex" and "Quick and healthy bag lunches."

Michigan State was ranked second with a 3.61, followed by Ohio State University. Also making the honor roll: University of Michigan, 3.55; Brown University, 3.50; University of Iowa, 3.49; University of Oregon, 3.44; Princeton University, 3.41; Rutgers, 3,38; University of Minnesota, 3.37; Western Michigan University, 3.28; Cornell, 3.22; and Yale, 3.17.

The idea is that by making students aware of their school's sex health status, it will instigate change, Trojan representative Bruce Tetreault, says in the release. The company decided to launch the study years ago in response to the rising rate of sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) among young people, he adds.

According to the latest Center for Disease Control and Prevention report in 2008, STDs are a growing public health challenge in the United States. The CDC estimates there are approximately 19 million new STD infections each year -- almost half of them among young people ages 15 to 24. The cost of STDs to the U.S. health care system is estimated to be as much as $15.9 billion annually.

"We found the numbers unacceptable, and wanted to make students aware of how their schools ranked in terms of sexual health," Tetreault says in the release.

Bert Sperling, owner of the research firm that partnered with Trojan to administer the survey, says all schools have shown improvement in the past five years, and that students at Arizona State and Northwestern University, among others, have taken action in an effort to up their schools' rankings.

Although the ratings only cover a small portion of the approximately 2,000 4-year institutions in the United States, Sperling says 30 percent of American undergraduates attend the colleges studied.

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]]>college sexCollegeSexsexSexual healthSexualHealthSTDteen sexTeenSexMary Beth SammonsThu, 07 Oct 2010 13:00:00 ESTKnocked Out: Challenge Inspires College Kids to Get Some ZZZZshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/06/knocked-out-challenge-inspires-college-kids-to-get-some-zzzzs/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/06/knocked-out-challenge-inspires-college-kids-to-get-some-zzzzs/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/06/knocked-out-challenge-inspires-college-kids-to-get-some-zzzzs/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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The Huffington Post is challenging college students to get eight hours of sleep (a night). Credit: Corbis

Sleep? Please. Who needs it? Isn't that what Red Bull is for?

It's a one-way conversation all too familiar for parents of college students. "Sleep is just sooooooo overrated Mom," is the mantra of this nocturnal set.

But now, the Huffington Post has created a challenge to incoming college freshman designed to get them to cut out all-nighters and cut back on the multiple caffeinated beverages that keep their eyelids open all day.

Please, contest gods, tell us your secret. The Freshman 8 is a spin-off of the old freshman 15 motif, and focuses instead on the health benefits of a good eight hours of sleep, Dr. Michael J. Breus, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and member of the American Board of Sleep Medicine who is overseeing the contest, tells the website.

Weight gain is not uncommon, Breus tells the Huffington Post, but neither is a full night's sleep. He cites a 2001 study by the American College Health Association that shows only 11 percent of college students consistently sleep well. Adequate sleep, he says, can lead to higher grades, heightened performance and better health.

So the Huffington Post tracked the progress of students who entered the contest on Facebook and have come up with six well-rested finalists who are in the running to win a trip to New York City during the site's Oct. 28 Game Changers Event.

Leah Finnegan, a college correspondent for the site and editor of the Daily Texan at the University of Texas-Austin, says all-nighters aren't worth it on her Huffington Post blog.

"You see, just a short month ago, I would have awoken bleary-eyed and confused after an unsatisfying five hours of sleep," she writes. "Throughout the day I would have had multiple caffeinated beverages. All day I would think about sleeping, only to stumble home at 8 p.m. and find myself wide awake, neurons somehow pulsing on the dregs of coffee in my veins. Sleep would come six sad hours later. And then the whole thing would begin again. It's really no way to live, and it's a cycle that started for me in college, when varied wake-up times, free-flowing legal stimulants and midday naps were new and interesting."

It's tough to rack up the ZZZs in the student lounge or when your roommate is throwing a bash. Breus suggests students get earplugs, an eye mask and a good set of headphones.

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]]>college students and sleepCollegeStudentsAndSleephuffington postHuffingtonPostsleepsleep deprivationSleepDeprivationMary Beth SammonsWed, 06 Oct 2010 13:30:00 ESTTeachers to Students: Let's Not Be Facebook Friendshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/05/teachers-to-students-lets-not-be-facebook-friends/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/05/teachers-to-students-lets-not-be-facebook-friends/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/05/teachers-to-students-lets-not-be-facebook-friends/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

facebook picture

Maybe teachers should keep their relationships with kids offline. Credit: The Canadian Press/Adrian Wyld/AP

Let's face it, there's a certain creep factor when you think your teenage daughter is exchanging photos, news feeds and friend requests on Facebook with her male high school science teacher.

We've heard the social network horror stories, but parents may feel comforted by a move to put Facebook on the don't list for parent-teacher relationships, ABC News reports.

As Facebook, Twitter and others have grown in popularity, more and more U.S. teachers have reportedly been disciplined -- and even fired -- for sharing photos and messages deemed inappropriate by their school systems, according to ABC. Other schools are busily drawing up conservative social media policies outlining what teachers can and can't show off on their Facebook pages with students, despite cries from some educators who argue this infringes on teachers' speech rights.

While teachers can use some networking sites such as Twitter or intranets to extend classroom discussion and post homework assignments, sites such as Facebook and MySpace -- which delve deeper into personal lives and information --easily blur the student-teacher relationship, Rabbi Avi Schwartz, an educator at Magen David Yeshiva in Brooklyn, N.Y., tells Education.com.

"There needs to be a certain distance between teachers and students in order to maintain respect," Schwartz says. "A teacher needs to be a role model, mentor and advice giver -- not a 'friend.' "

Heather Steed, a recent graduate of Florida State University in Tallahassee, Fla., tells Education.com that, as a student, she never added instructors on a social network until she completed their classes.

"I think that students and teachers have different personas in the classroom than outside of it, and the two should not necessarily be mixed," she tells the site.

In August, a Massachusetts teacher was asked to resign after posting comments on her Facebook wall describing students as "germ bags" and parents as "snobby" and "arrogant," according to ABC. Although the teacher said she intended the comments for her close friends only, her privacy settings were open enough that others in her town could see what she had to say.

Scenarios like this have pushed school administrators across the country to create strict social networking policies. School administrators in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, for instance, are considering a similar proposal that would ban teachers from "friending" or "following" students on social media sites and limit online communication to school-related correspondence only, ABC reports.

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]]>facebookfacebook and teachersFacebookAndTeacherssocial mediasocial networkingSocialMediaSocialNetworkingteacher firedTeacherFiredMary Beth SammonsTue, 05 Oct 2010 17:53:00 ESTTop 10 Most Beautiful College Campuseshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/05/top-10-most-beautiful-college-campuses/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/05/top-10-most-beautiful-college-campuses/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/05/top-10-most-beautiful-college-campuses/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

most beautiful college campus picture

Oxford University is no. 2 on the list. Credit: Corbis

Hey, parents -- as your high schoolers start sending in their college applications, it's time to think about academics, athletics and, in our opinion, aesthetics. After all, don't you want to spend Parents' Weekend strolling beautifully manicured quads and admiring striking Gothic architecture?

With its stone walls that date to the 11th century, Oxford University in England is spectacularly beautiful, while Tsinghua University in Beijing, China, located on the former site of the Qing Dynasty's royal gardens, provides students with a breathtaking walk between classes.

But the most beautiful campus in the entire world is in the United States. Ohio to be exact. Kenyon College in Gambier was named the No. 1 most beautiful campus by a panel of architects and campus designers interviewed by Forbes magazine.

The top 10 most beautiful college campuses in the world:

1. Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio
The pastoral setting of this tiny liberal arts college boasts sweeping trees, vast expanses of green and classic Gothic architecture. Most beautiful of all is The Middle Path, a 10-foot-wide trail that is not only the campus' central walkway, but also a village green.

2. Oxford University in Oxford, England
A labyrinth of quads, cloisters and archways evoke a centuries-old sense of elegance and tradition. The 11th-century stone walls enclose the spectacular campus that Notre Dame architecture professor David Mayernik calls "an architectural wonderland."

3. Princeton University in Princeton, New Jersey
The imposing old gray stone buildings, many of which are covered in ivy, intersect with footpaths, archways and plazas that were designed to inspire spontaneous discussion and learning.

4. Scripps College in Claremont, California
The campus of this women's college, which was founded in the 1920s, was constructed with a clear artistic connection between the buildings and landscape. The Mission Revival-inspired architecture is enhanced with rows of liquid amber trees, as well as tulip trees, sycamores, almond and orange trees and rare shrubs.

5. Stanford University in Palo Alto, California
Despite extensive growth, Stanford has stayed true to its architectural roots, managing to blend very modern and high-tech elements with the timeless aesthetics of the campus' early California Mission Revival architecture. Most notable is the dramatic entrance via Palm Drive.

6. Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland
Trinity is often compared to Oxford--except it's a gentler campus on a more human scale. The most celebrated building is the Old Library, founded by Queen Elizabeth in 1592. The famous Book of Kells is kept here under lock and key.

7. Tsinghua University in Beijing, China
Founded in 1925, Tsinghua's beauty comes naturally. It is located on the former site of the Qing Dynasty's royal gardens. The campus also features artificial ponds with stone benches and floating lotus blossoms.

8. United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colorado
Leave the Gothic look to Kenyon and Princeton. The Air Force Academy is a masterpiece of American Modernism, says Kevin Lippert, publisher of the Princeton Architectural Press. Many of the buildings are clad in aluminum to give the look and feel of the skin of airplanes.

9. University of Bologna in Bologna, Italy
This is the oldest university in the Western world and appears to be embedded in Bologna, a beautiful city that dates to before the Roman Empire.

10. University of California, Santa Cruz, California
Located on the site of a former ranch that overlooks the Pacific with panoramic ocean views, the campus has open meadows and redwood forests. The architecture is tucked into the natural landscape. The favorite place to study? Outside!

(Source: Forbes magazine)

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]]>Kenyon CollegeKenyonCollegeoxford universityOxfordUniversitythe editors at NetscapeTue, 05 Oct 2010 16:41:00 ESTAre Tweens Really Ready to Babysit?http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/05/tweens-babysit/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/05/tweens-babysit/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/05/tweens-babysit/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

tween babysitting picture

Even if they have training, are tweens really ready to watch your baby? Credit: Getty Images

Thrilled that your neighbor's kid is finally old enough to babysit? Sorry to throw a monkey wrench into date night, but your tween babysitter actually may be putting your little one at risk.

Forty percent of younger babysitters report they had left children unattended while babysitting, and 20 percent say they opened the door to strangers, according to research presented this weekend at the American Academy of Pediatrics conference.

The good news? Nearly all (98 percent) of 11- to 13-year-old babysitters know who to contact in the event of an intruder or if a child is sick or injured (96 percent), and the vast majority know who to contact if a child is poisoned (85 percent).

Researchers surveyed 727 tweens who have cared for a younger infant or child as a babysitter, reporting their results in the study, "Babysitter Safety Training: Are Children Aged 11-13 Years Prepared to Deal with Emergencies While Caring for Younger Children?"

About half of the tweens interviewed had gone through some professional training: 51 percent had taken a first aid training class; 47 percent had taken a CPR class and 19 percent had taken the American Red Cross or other babysitter preparedness class, the researchers report.

In other findings, 92 percent of preteen babysitters were familiar with the location of first aid supplies and 64 percent knew where to find a fire extinguisher. Ten percent of the young babysitters reported having a personal experience with an emergency requiring a call to 911; 10 called 911 after a child sustained injuries from a significant fall, eight due to a house fire, six because a child had profuse bleeding from a laceration and six because of a significant head trauma.

The study provides a snapshot of preteen babysitter strengths and weaknesses, lead study author Dr. Nicole M. Hackman, of Penn State Hershey Children's Hospital, reported at the conference.

"By identifying the unsafe behaviors, we have the opportunity to design specific educational programs to prepare preteen babysitters to safely respond to common emergency situations," she says.

For more information on babysitting preparedness, visit the American Red Cross website.

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]]>babysitterbabysittingresearchtween babysittersTweenBabysittersHoney BerkTue, 05 Oct 2010 08:00:00 ESTDaughters Say Dads Should Do More to Prepare Them for Sex and Datinghttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/29/daughters-say-dads-should-do-more-to-prepare-them-for-sex-and-da/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/29/daughters-say-dads-should-do-more-to-prepare-them-for-sex-and-da/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/29/daughters-say-dads-should-do-more-to-prepare-them-for-sex-and-da/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

father daughter

Dads, do you want your daughters to feel prepared for relationships? Then talk to them. Credit: Getty Images

Well, dads, it looks like you no longer will be able to get out of having "the talk" with your adolescent daughters.

A new study reports that a vast majority of young women feel their dads could have done better in helping to prepare them for sexuality and dating.

Most daughters surveyed report they had little father-daughter communication about sex and felt that their dads could have made unique contributions to their sexual socialization, according to the study, published online this week in the Journal of Family Issues.

"The young women in the study felt that their dads could help them understand men, learn how to talk to and 'handle' men," lead researcher M. Katherine Hutchinson, associate professor at NYU College of Nursing, tells ParentDish in an e-mail. "They also can set the example for how a caring man acts."

Hutchinson says one of the most poignant statements in the survey came from a young woman who grew up without a father in her life. She spoke about how fortunate girls with fathers were because they knew what a good man was, while other girls had to find out on their own.

It may come as no surprise that mothers are typically their kids' primary sexual educator at home. The study notes that mother-teen discussions about sex occur more frequently, with a greater level of comfort and cover a wider range of topics.

The study also found that parent-child sexual communication has been shown to be a powerful influence with regard to teens' sexual beliefs, attitudes and behaviors, and can significantly affect many other factors -- from age of onset to contraceptive use to sexually-transmitted diseases.

"Mother-teen sexual communication has been linked to a later onset of sexual activity, less sexual risk taking, and a more consistent use of condoms and other contraceptives among adolescents," the authors report. "In addition, teen girls who reported greater amounts of mother-daughter sexual communication also reported more negative attitudes toward premarital sex, more negative attitudes toward having sex in the near future and less difficulty in discussing sexual-risk-related topics with boyfriends and male sexual partners."

Further, adolescent girls who reported more frequent mother-daughter "sexual-risk" discussions were significantly less likely to test positive for sexually transmitted infection and less likely to have ever been pregnant.

To date, most research on the topic of parent-child sexual socialization has focused on mother-daughter communication, which is why the authors chose to survey young women, aged 19 to 21, to examine their perceptions about how their dads contributed to their sexual socialization, whether or not they communicated about sexual topics to their daughters and what dads could have done differently.

The researchers discovered that young women's personal experiences with father-daughter sexual communication and socialization varied widely, from "nothing" to "everything." And although some of the young women shared positive experiences about communicating with their dads, many pointed to inadequacies and suggested possible explanations.

Hutchinson tells ParentDish she thinks part of the issue relates to gender norms -- assumptions that the moms are "taking care of it." She says many fathers don't see it as their place, and also that there is an element of discomfort -- embarrassment on the part of all parents in discussing sexual issues with children.

"Any parents, especially fathers, may not have seen this kind of communication with their own parents; they lack ... role models and skills and don't know how and when to start," she says.

The study also characterizes the "daddy's little girl" phenomenon, where fathers often don't see their daughters as growing up and as sexual people.

"It's a shame," Hutchinson says, "because fathers could be real assets to girls in this area."

The authors note that the term "father" needs to be defined broadly and in a way that's appropriate to the culture. It could mean a father figure or adult male caregiver who may be a biological father, stepfather, uncle, grandfather or male partner of a parent, unrelated guardian or custodian. Also, the child may have more than one influential father figure -- who may or may not reside in the same home with the child.

Hutchinson tells ParentDish it's important for parents to realize that talking about sexual things with our kids is not easy.

"It's uncomfortable and awkward especially in the beginning," Hutchinson says. "But that's true of so many aspects of parenting, isn't it? We would never consider tossing our kids the keys and letting them drive a car unprepared, and we really need to take the same stance toward sexuality. We have to start early, lay the groundwork and help them develop the knowledge and skills to safely navigate that part of their lives."

Hutchinson counsels that parents don't have to go it alone, and suggests consulting one of the many books on how to talk to children about sexual topics, or visit the Planned Parenthood or Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S. (SIECUS) websites.

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]]>dadsresearchsexsex educationSexEducationHoney BerkWed, 29 Sep 2010 15:00:00 ESTAbortion Psychologically Damages Teen Girls? Not Really, Study Sayshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/28/abortion-psychologically-damages-teen-girls-not-really-study-s/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/28/abortion-psychologically-damages-teen-girls-not-really-study-s/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/28/abortion-psychologically-damages-teen-girls-not-really-study-s/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , ,

teen abortion

Guilt? Not here. Credit: Corbis

Do not get an abortion. Never mind all the moral and philosophical arguments. You will be wracked with guilt and depression.

Actually ... not so much.

Teenage girls aren't booking that particular guilt trip. A new study says girls who get abortions are no more likely to feel guilty or depressed than their peers who got pregnant and had their babies.

Stern warnings about dire psychological consequences have been part of the anti-abortion arsenal for almost 40 years, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Roe v. Wade that the the right of privacy includes the right to have an abortion.

But researchers at Oregon State University and the University of California say abortion foes are peddling fear rather than facts.

The Times of India reports researchers looked at a nationally representative sample of 289 pregnant teens and followed the teens for five years after their pregnancies. The results were the same.

The girls who had abortions had no more problems with guilt, depression and self-esteem than their pregnant peers. The results of the study will appear in the December issue of Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health.

"We know most teen pregnancies are not wanted pregnancies and an unwanted pregnancy can be very stressful," lead author Jocelyn Warren of Oregon State tells the Times of India. "What we didn't know was whether psychological outcomes are worse for girls who choose abortion. This study says, 'No.' "

Warren adds that a 2008 report by the American Psychological Association found no evidence that abortion causes mental health problems in adult women. But no evidence was examined regarding teen girls.

It's important not to generalize, Warren tells the Times. Individual women may have very different emotional responses to abortion.

"But on average, abortion does not appear to have major psychological consequences -- for adult women or for teens," she says.

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]]>abortionabortion and depressionabortion and teensabortion studyAbortionAndDepressionAbortionAndTeensAbortionStudyTom HendersonTue, 28 Sep 2010 10:47:00 ESTIn Vitro Kids Score as Well on Tests as Those Born the Old-Fashioned Wayhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/28/in-vitro-kids-score-as-well-on-tests-as-those-born-the-old-fashi/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/28/in-vitro-kids-score-as-well-on-tests-as-those-born-the-old-fashi/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/28/in-vitro-kids-score-as-well-on-tests-as-those-born-the-old-fashi/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

in vitro kids score good on tests

The in vitro kids are all right. Credit: Getty Images

Test tube babies may not be mutant freaks after all.

Scientists have long been curious about what mental, emotional and physical effects might develop in children conceived through in vitro fertilization. You know, like if they would grow four arms or something.

It would make a great science fiction movie.

But the kids are all right. So far. The latest evidence of this comes out of the University of Iowa, where researchers looked at the academic tests of 423 kids ages 8 to 17 born through in vitro fertilization. Then they looked at the scores of 327 kids in the same age group conceived the old-fashioned way.

Guess what? There was no big difference.

The study's lead author, the UI's Dr. Bradley Van Voorhis, tells the Des Moines Register the study amounts to a big sigh of relief.

"Our findings are reassuring for clinicians and patients," he says.

Van Voorhis' study, published in the Oct. 10 issue of the journal Human Reproduction, concludes that the means of conception "does not have any detrimental effects on a child's intelligence or cognitive development."

In fact, kids conceived through in vitro fertilization generally scored higher than their peers in reading, language, math and vocabulary.

Van Voorhis tells the Register that could be because of the higher socioeconomic status and age of the in vitro kids' parents. On the other hand, researchers did not have information on the age, marital status and education of parents in the control group.

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]]>in vitroin vitro fertilizationInVitroInVitroFertilizationtest tube babiestest tube babyTestTubeBabiesTestTubeBabyTom HendersonTue, 28 Sep 2010 09:19:00 ESTNo Car for You, Son; Your Mother and I Think You're Too Fathttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/24/no-car-for-you-son-your-mother-and-i-think-youre-too-fat/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/24/no-car-for-you-son-your-mother-and-i-think-youre-too-fat/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/24/no-car-for-you-son-your-mother-and-i-think-youre-too-fat/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , ,

weight scale fat

Are overweight kids discriminated against by their own parents? Credit: Corbis

No car for you, fat boy!

Parents are less likely to get cars for tubby teens, according to a study from the University of North Texas.

You get fed a lot of news about childhood obesity these days, and you may have thought you finally reached the center of the Tootsie Pop when researchers linked the common cold to the uncommonly corpulent.

Keep licking.

Reuters news service reports Amanda Kraha and Adriel Boals at the University of North Texas got to wondering how much a kid's pant size weighs in on his parent's decision to get him a car.

Turns out, quite a bit.

Researchers looked at 379 college students ages 17 to 26, ranging in size from bean poles to the overweight, to those who qualify for their own zip codes.

Continue reading No Car for You, Son; Your Mother and I Think You're Too Fat

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]]>buying a carBuyingACarchildhood obesityChildhoodObesityobesity studyObesityStudyTom HendersonFri, 24 Sep 2010 15:00:00 ESTJustin Bieber Guests on CSI: America's Young Girls Scream (But Maybe Not in a Good Way)http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/24/justin-bieber-guests-on-csi-americas-young-girls-scream-but-m/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/24/justin-bieber-guests-on-csi-americas-young-girls-scream-but-m/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/09/24/justin-bieber-guests-on-csi-americas-young-girls-scream-but-m/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Justin Bieber illustration

Teen idol Justin Bieber gets scary in a whole new way. Illustration: Christopher Healy


America's most popular show about collecting bodily fluid samples, "CSI," kicked off its 10th season last night with an episode guest starring Justin Bieber. Yes, that Justin Bieber -- the 16-year-old Canadian pop idol who induces swooning among third-grade girls by making heart shapes with his hands.

Now, maybe it's just me, but you don't put Justin Bieber in your TV show unless you want to attract 9-year-old girls. Evidence of this: When I viewed a Justin Bieber video on YouTube -- for research purposes, of course -- the site suggested that I may also want to watch a clip from the new Tinker Bell movie. And "CSI" is not a show for 9-year-old girls. So let's take a look at what the nation's collective daughters were witness to last night when they tuned in to see their favorite toothy heartthrob. Warning: Massive spoilers follow.

Continue reading Justin Bieber Guests on CSI: America's Young Girls Scream (But Maybe Not in a Good Way)

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]]>CSIJustin BieberJustin Bieber on CSIJustinBieberJustinBieberOnCsiteen idolsTeenIdolstween girlsTweenGirlstweensChristopher HealyFri, 24 Sep 2010 13:00:00 EST