ParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.comParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.com/media/feedlogo.gifParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.comen-usCopyright 2012 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only.Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Bizzyboardhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/07/20/bizzyboard/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/07/20/bizzyboard/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/07/20/bizzyboard/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Get organized with a Bizzyboard. Credit: Bizzyboard.com

We don't know about you, but we live and die by a family calendar. If you don't already have a system that works for your busy brood, it's time to get one, and Bizzyboard is a great place to start.

This weekly planner allows you to post everyone's agenda, and, with colorful, picture magnets, even little non-readers can see a birthday, dentist appointment or trip to the museum is coming up.

The magnetic dry erase board includes 220 magnetic pictograms and has plenty of room to add to-do lists and other messages. Additional magnets sets are also available, with themes ranging from sports to holidays to school.

Get Bizzyboard, $199, at bizzyboard.com.

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]]>bizzyboardfamily calendargetting organizedorganizationLesley KennedyWed, 20 Jul 2011 14:00:00 ESTIt's Not You, It's Us: Breaking Up With Other Parentshttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/29/breaking-up-with-other-parents/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/29/breaking-up-with-other-parents/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/29/breaking-up-with-other-parents/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

Remember dating? And that most awkward of moments, the end of an evening when it was clear not everyone had enjoyed the experience equally?

Your date would ask the question, "What are you doing next weekend?" And, instead of saying "avoiding you," you'd stay pleasantly vague. "Ooh, sorry. I think I'm busy." For that matter, you'd be busy the weekend after that, too. Suddenly, your calendar was just packed.

Marriage is supposed to put all that behind you, right? Not if you have children. For every time your kid makes a new friend, you end up doing the getting-to-know-you-waltz all over again with a new set of parents. It's a little like having a 40-inch yenta stubbornly pushing you toward an endless series of blind dates. And if you think chemistry is hard to predict between two people, just try making it work with four.

One mom we met seemed to like us well enough, but in a very distant way; she would spend entire playdates at our house staring at the grass or looking past our shoulders at some far away thing we couldn't see. Conversation always involved long stretches of cricket-begging silence and we decided she must be shy.

Both of the children loved these meet-ups, nonetheless, so we kept at them for a while, but we did notice we were never invited to the other family's house in return. And then the mom started taking longer and longer to return our calls. Eventually, we got the message: She just wasn't that into us.

We could hardly throw stones; there are plenty of perfectly well-intended parents we haven't exactly developed crushes on ourselves. There was the mom who detailed her sexual history 10 minutes into the first playdate; the dad who yanked out his daughter's not-actually-loose tooth so that she could keep up with her tooth-losing friends; and the mom who treated us like Encyclopedia Homosexualis, lobbing blunt questions our way as if we somehow spoke for the entire species.

All our parent friends have their own similar tales from the grown-up dating trenches. One couple we know had never met the parents of their daughter's best friend in preschool, so they were delighted when the other family suggested they should all spend a day together. This seemed ideal -- at least until the inviting parents planned themselves a getaway for that same weekend, leaving my friends to entertain their child and her nanny for them.

A couple with two boys told us how thrilled they'd been when they'd learned that a new family would be moving to their street with three sons younger than 6. Our friends could just imagine all the years of play ahead, when the boys were all old enough to run from house to house. But that kind liberty started a little too early.

While the new family was still doing major construction on their enormous mansion-to-be, they left their kids (one still in diapers!) completely unsupervised, free to wander among the equipment around the site and toddle off into the road, which is where our friends found them. All visions of bonding between the families evaporated.

If you met someone who bothered you this much in a dating context, you wouldn't hesitate to just ditch the bozo and stop returning his calls or texts. Parent "break-ups" are a little trickier because you know your kids will see their kids in school for, oh, a decade or so, which means a little finesse and tact might be prudent.

But make no mistake: Job number one is keeping your child safe -- not sparing the feelings of other parents whose values put them at risk.

There is no easy exit line in situations like these. We all know that the old chestnut, "It's not you, it's me," actually means "It's me disapproving of you." So The Hubby and I fall back on the kinder, gentler dodge: Suddenly, our weekends are full -- and, depending on who's asking -- they will be for a long, long time.

Veronica Rhodes and David Valdes Greenwood alternate weeks writing the Family Gaytriarchs. Look for them on ParentDish every Wednesday.

David Valdes Greenwood has written about marriage and parenting for the Boston Globe and in his first book "Homo Domesticus: Notes from a Same-Sex Marriage." The author of three nonfiction books and the creator of the blog "Diva Has Two Daddies," he also finds time to be a kindergarten room parent and Barbie pretend play expert. Read his blog on Red Room.

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]]>break upsgay parentingother parentsplay datesplaydatesDavid Valdes GreenwoodWed, 29 Jun 2011 11:00:00 ESTHeirlooms and Traditions from Marlo Thomashttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/08/heirlooms-and-traditions-from-marlo-thomas/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/08/heirlooms-and-traditions-from-marlo-thomas/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/08/heirlooms-and-traditions-from-marlo-thomas/#commentsFiled under: , ,

When I was growing up, my mother had this beautiful big silver punch bowl that she would use whenever there was a special event or holiday.


What about you? Has anything been past down in your family? Join the conversation and post a comment below. To contribute, sign in using your screen name from AOL, AIM, Yahoo, Facebook, or Google. If you don't have a screen name, create one now: it's fast, it's free, and it's safe!

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]]>Heirlooms and Traditionsthe editors at MarloThomas.comWed, 08 Jun 2011 09:00:00 ESTHenry Louis Gates Jr. on Tracking the Family History of Slaveshttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/24/henry-louis-gates-jr-on-tracking-the-family-history-of-slaves/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/24/henry-louis-gates-jr-on-tracking-the-family-history-of-slaves/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/24/henry-louis-gates-jr-on-tracking-the-family-history-of-slaves/#commentsFiled under: ,

family history

By Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

One of the transformative moments of my life occurred when my grandfather, Edward Gates, died in 1960. I was 10 years old, and, following his burial, my father showed me my grandfather's scrapbooks.

There, buried in those yellowing pages of newsprint, was an obituary -- the obituary, to my astonishment, of our family matriarch, an ex-slave named Jane Gates.

"An estimable colored woman," the obituary read, also mentioning that she had been a mid-wife.

"That woman was Pop's grandmother," my father said, quietly. "She is your great-great-grandmother. And she is the oldest Gates."

I was fascinated. I wanted to know how I got here from there: from the mysterious and shadowy preserve of slavery in the depths of the black past. I became obsessed with my family tree, and peppered my father with questions about the names and dates of my ancestors, which, ever so dutifully, I wrote down in a notebook.

I knew I had white ancestors. My father, his six brothers, and their sister, were clearly part white. I wanted to learn the names of both my black and white ancestors. I remember poring over ads in the backs of magazines that encouraged readers to send in their names and $20 or so, in exchange for one of those colorful European coats of arms, the sort one would see hanging on the wall of a castle in England.

I thought about ordering one for the Gates family. I knew it wouldn't have anything to do with me, necessarily, but who could be sure? As I got older, I even allowed myself to dream about learning the name of the very tribe we had come from in Africa.

I became an historian, in part, I think, out of this desire to know myself more fully, which, of course, over time became a desire to understand others, as well -- to learn about the past of my people, the African-American people, and, ultimately, the past of my nation.

Finding my own roots has been my lifelong quest ever since my grandfather's funeral. But there was always a problem in this search. And, if you're black, and have tried to trace your roots, you know it well: slavery. Slavery was, among many other evil things, a systemic effort to rob blacks of all family ties and the most basic sense of self-knowledge.

With very few exceptions, each slave had one name only, a first name. Good luck building a family tree for somebody who only has one name.

After decades of being frustrated by this experience, I decided to do something about it. Over the past four years, I have been producing a documentary series for PBS called "African-American Lives," which traces the family histories of prominent African-Americans back to slavery and beyond.

We track down every little scrap of paper we can find about our subjects, and when the paper trail ends, inevitably, in the abyss of slavery, we look at something that our ancestors from Africa brought with them that not even the slave trade could take away: our distinctive strands of DNA.

With cells collected from the insides of our mouths, geneticists can compare our genetic material to DNA samples taken from people on the African continent. The process is a bit like matching finger prints on "CSI."

The series was a risky experiment at first -- no one had tried this before -- but it has turned out to be a remarkably rewarding experience. I have learned more about myself and my people than I ever imagined possible. And I am very curious to see what you all think about this work.

As a parent, as well as an historian, I also encourage you to introduce your children to their family history. A great way to start is by showing them photo albums and scrapbooks from the past. That's how my father got my attention. Look for family documents such as obituaries, birth certificates, diplomas - - anything that might show your ancestors' names and details of their lives. Talk to older family members. Track down distant relatives. And write everything down. You also might want to check out "A Beginner's Guide to Tracing Your Roots" for more ideas.

If you've already introduced your children to their ancestry, how did you go about it?

This article was originally on PBSParents and was written by Henry Louis Gates, Jr. Henry Louis Gates, Jr. is the Alphonse Fletcher University Professor at Harvard University and the director of the W.E.B. Du Bois Institute for African and African American Research. He is also editor-in-chief of the Oxford African American Studies Center, the first comprehensive scholarly online resource in the field of African American and Africana Studies.

More From PBSParents.org:

African American Lives 2

PBS Parents - Black History Month Page

PBS Parents - Books that Bring the Black Experience to Life

PBS KIDS--Grow a Tree!

The Root

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]]>familyfamily historyfamily history of slaveshenry gates jr.slaveryPBSParents.orgTue, 24 May 2011 17:00:00 ESTSteps to Stepfamily Successhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/04/steps-to-stepfamily-success/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/04/steps-to-stepfamily-success/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/04/steps-to-stepfamily-success/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

stepfamily success

Typical multi-home stepfamilies are like intact biological families in many ways. But, they differ structurally, developmentally and dynamically in many ways too.

Stepfamilies who aren't aware of these differences risk using biological family norms and expectations to guide their day-to-day lives. That's like trying to play baseball with soccer equipment and basketball rules -- guaranteed to create confusion, conflict and stress.

Learning to live well in a new family takes time. Everyone has a lot to learn, including how to cope in a new environment. One of the first things you'll want to do is to recognize some of the myths of stepfamilies. For example:

Myth #1: "I love you, and I must love your kids."
Reality: "I love you and will patiently work at respecting your kids. They and I may never love each other. If we do, it will feel different than biological parent-child love, and that's okay.

Myth #2: "Your or my ex-mate is not part of our family!"
Reality: "As long as your biological children from your previous marriage live, their other biological parent, and their new mate(s), if any, will emotionally, financially, legally and genetically influence all of your lives. Ignoring or discounting the needs and feelings of these other adults will stress everyone for years.

Myth #3: "We're just like a regular biological family."
Reality: Not really. Your new extended family and the linking of stepfamily co-parenting homes add up to loads of relatives with many major losses to mourn, and many conflicting values and customs to resolve. You are, however, normal -- a normal multi-home stepfamily.

Myth #4: "Your or my kids will never come between us."
Reality: Stepfamily adults' inability to resolve clashes over one or more step-kids, including related money issues, is the most quoted reason for a stepfamily divorce. Underneath this usually lie your own unhealed wounds.

Myth #5: "Stepparenting is pretty much like biological parenting, without the childbirth."
Reality: While stepparents' primary goals are about the same as those of biological parents, the emotional, legal and social environments of average stepparents differ in numerous ways. This usually leads to confusion, frustration, and stress, until all the stepfamily adults agree clearly on what each other's key responsibilities are.

Myth #6: "Your and/or my biological kids(s) will always live with us."
Reality: In about 30 percent of U.S. stepfamilies, one or more minor biological kids move into the home of their other biological parent at some point. The resulting emotional and financial shock waves can be extremely challenging. The key is to build realistic expectations for your new stepfamily homes, roles and relationships. If you don't, ongoing frustrations and disappointments can end up harming your marriage. Learning together what's normal in average stepfamilies -- early on -- can help considerably.

Here are a few more ideas on how to keep your new family on the right track:

1. Adopt an open learner's mind to new ways of doing things.

2. Award yourself patience, permission to mess up and learn, and strokes for the smallest triumphs.

3. Expect some people to misunderstand and to criticize your new values, goals, and plans -- or you. Realize they probably are stuck in a biological family mode of thinking. That's their issue.

4. Keep your emotional knees flexed, hold hands, and enjoy the adventure and challenge together. It's worth it!

Your relatives and friends might mistakenly expect your new household and kin to feel and act like a biological family. They also may not approve of either the prior divorce(s) or the remarriage. Yet, when well-run by confidant stepfamily adult teams (not simply couples), this modern version of an ancient family form can provide the warmth, comfort, inspiration, support, security -- and often (not always) the love -- that adults and kids long for.

What's your biggest challenge as a stepparent? How are you dealing with it?

This article was originally published on PBS Parents by Gloria Lintermans. Gloria Lintermans is the author of The Secrets to Stepfamily Success: Revolutionary Tools to create a Blended Family of Support and Respect, The Healing Power of Grief: The Journey Through Loss to Love and Laughter, and The Healing Power of Love: Transcending the Loss of a Spouse to New Love.

More From PBSParents.org:

Child Development Tracker

Expert Q&A

Activity Search

Kitchen Explorers

The Parent Show

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]]>stepchildrenstepfamiliesstepfamily successPBSParents.orgWed, 04 May 2011 10:00:00 ESTFamilies That Eat Dinner Together, Stay Slim Together, Study Findshttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/02/families-that-eat-dinner-together-stay-slim-together-study-fin/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/02/families-that-eat-dinner-together-stay-slim-together-study-fin/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/02/families-that-eat-dinner-together-stay-slim-together-study-fin/#commentsFiled under: , ,

family dinner

Kids who ate meals regularly with their family were 24 percent more apt to eat healthy. Credit: Getty Images

Taking time to sit down and eat as a family at dinner could help keep your children at healthy weights.

A new study published today in Pediatrics, finds kids who ate meals regularly with their family were 24 percent more likely to eat healthy, compared with peers who seldom ate with relatives, according to HealthDay.

"We wanted to look at the family's contribution to positive outcomes as it relates to nutrition," study lead author Amber Hammons, a postdoctoral research associate at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, tells the news service. "It's important for parents to know what they can do, especially with obesity and eating habits; they want to know what role they can play."

Researchers looked at studies involving nearly 183,000 kids and teens ranging in age from about 3 to 17, HealthDay reports, examining eating habits, weight and whether they engaged in any eating disorder behavior.

They found children who ate three or more family meals a week were 12 percent less likely to be overweight than those who ate with their families rarely or never, according to the news service, which adds they were also 20 percent less likely to eat sweets, fried foods, soda and other food lacking in the healthy department.

Eating with Mom and Dad also reduced "disordered eating behaviors" -- think binging and purging, skipping meals, taking diet pills or laxatives and smoking -- HealthDay reports.

"We know that meals prepared at home are more likely to be less calorie-dense," Hammons tells the news service, but she adds that communication during a family meal could also influence healthy eating. "The future direction for research will not be looking at quantity of meals but at what is making meal time so important."

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]]>dinnerdinner timefamily dinnersfamily timehealthymealtimeLesley KennedyMon, 02 May 2011 14:30:00 ESTDon't Drink With Your Kids, Says Studyhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/29/teen-and-drinking/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/29/teen-and-drinking/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/29/teen-and-drinking/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Watch a video on how to talk to kids about drugs and alcohol.
teen and drinking

13- to 15-year-olds in Australia who shared drinks with their parents developed alcohol problems later on. Credit: Paul Ellis, Getty Images

"Eat your vegetables, or no more beer for you."

This might be considered tough love in Australia, but researchers at the University of Washington say Australian parents aren't doing their kids any favors by raising a glass or two -- or three with them.

Researchers found 13- to 15-year-olds in Australia who shared drinks with their parents developed -- brace yourselves -- alcohol problems later on. Kids were less likely to turn into hopeless lushes if their parents denied them alcohol in their middle-school years.

Prof. Richard Catalano and his team of researchers looked at some 2,000 kids in Washington state and Victoria, Australia, over a three-year time frame, Seattle Weekly reports. More permissive Australian parents were compared with their more restrictive American counterparts.

Researchers concluded providing opportunities for drinking, even under parental supervision, didn't discourage alcohol abuse.

Such revelations, researchers said, "Lead us to suggest that policies should not encourage parents to drink with their children nor provide opportunities to supervise their use."

In other words, don't celebrate your child's middle school graduation by taking him out for a classic mother-son bender.

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]]>alcoholdrinking with your kidsUnviersity of Washington Study Drinking Australia Parents SharinTom HendersonFri, 29 Apr 2011 14:45:00 ESTOperation Shower Honors Military Moms-to-Be With Caring and Compassionhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/13/operation-shower/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/13/operation-shower/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/04/13/operation-shower/#commentsFiled under: , ,

operation shower picture

Operation Shower has hosted baby showers for more than 500 military moms. Courtesy of Operation Shower

When Nora Robles' son Rafael was 5 days old, she was invited to attend a baby shower in her honor -- and that of 37 other military moms and moms-to-be.

A week later, her Navy husband was deployed overseas on the USS Boxer. Now, she is home alone in San Diego, Calif., with two young sons.

That's why Robles says she is especially grateful for the mega baby shower and the outpouring of gifts that included car seats, diapers and gift boxes filled with baby supplies, clothing, toys, books and much more.

"We are so grateful for everything and the support," Robles, who named her new baby after her husband, Rafael Chavar, tells ParentDish.

The shower, held in January at Torrey Pines Golf Course and sponsored by Operation Shower, a St. Louis-based nonprofit, was co-sponsored by the PGA Tours Farmers Insurance Open and the March of Dimes.

"Having a baby can be challenging, but can be an even greater (challenge) when your husband is deployed overseas by the U.S. military," Courtney Faith Vera, a mom of two and deployment readiness group leader for the California Army National Guard in Lake Elsinore, Calif., tells ParentDish.

Vera, whose husband is a California Army National Guard Commander, helped coordinate the Torrey Pines event and was the featured speaker.

"Programs like this that support families and moms are very significant because so many military families move so often and live far away from friends and families and have little support," Vera says. "It adds a whole other layer of stress to having a baby and that can lead to a higher risk for complications."

Operation Shower was founded in 2007 by LeAnn Morrissey, a former attorney who stepped off the legal track when her daughter Keilan was born eight years ago. At the time, she tells ParentDish, she wanted to find some way to help the troops.

"My uncle was overseas and I felt I needed to do something to support him," she tells ParentDish. "I kept asking my uncle 'is there anything I can do to help you; is there anything you need?' He asked me to send cards to the wives of four of his troops who were expecting babies."

But Morrissey says she wanted to more than send a card.

"So, some friends and family members and I created 'Showers in a Box' for these women, filling them with little things like baby supplies, but (also) with pampering items for them like nail kits and bath items, something to make them feel special, too. The response we heard from the moms and the men was amazing."

The volunteer-run organization was born.

"I realized as a mom, myself, what it must feel like if you are about to give birth and your husband was oversees and decided it was a need we wanted to fill," she says. "But then add to that all the stresses of having your husband not there -- that must make moms-to-be and new moms so stressed."

In the last four years, Operation Shower has hosted baby showers for more than 500 military moms in groups ranging in size from 10 to more than 100, and in states from California and Texas to Illinois and Missouri to Mississippi and Florida.

The organization has expanded the "Shower in a Box," concept, sending "individual showers" to military moms, and has held 13 unit-wide mega baby bashes on military bases across the country for the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and National Guard, Morrissey says.

The celebration makes a big difference in the lives of military moms-to-be, Vera says. And the baby essentials -- wipes, diapers and formula -- "let the moms know that at least the essentials have been taken care of and they have one less thing to worry about."

At the Torrey Pines Operation Shower event, all 38 moms were given car seats.

"That was humbling and exciting to watch, as so many of the moms had tears when they received them," Vera says.

Giving thanks to military families is the ultimate mission of Operation Shower, Morrissey adds.

"We're all grateful for what soldiers and other military are doing for all of us," she tells ParentDish. "We believe that there is no greater way (to show them that) than by throwing a party and celebrating and supporting them at this very special time in their lives."

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]]>baby showermilitarymilitary familiesmilitary family weekoperation showerMary Beth SammonsWed, 13 Apr 2011 14:30:00 ESTBuilding the Branches of Your Family Treehttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/30/family-tree/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/30/family-tree/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/30/family-tree/#commentsFiled under: , ,

family tree picture

Family photos will help with your research. Credit: rick, Flickr

Google the phrase "family tree" and you may be overwhelmed by what you see. Certainly, there's no shortage of sites to help you navigate through the world of genealogy. But just like an oak tree starts out as an acorn, you need to start small and build your way up.

Here's what you need to know to get your seedling started.

"First, identify the oldest people in your family," Guillermo Fernandez, a budding genealogist who has been tracking his family's heritage for the past 15 years, tells ParentDish. Arrive for interviews armed with photos and ask about specific people and events to trigger memories.

Ask to see their photos, too, and then scan them into your computer. Names, dates and other factual information is great to get out of the way first, but the real meat comes from family lore and anecdotes. You're bound to hear some amazing stories. If permissible, consider video or audio taping these sessions.

Next, gather as much paper documentation as you can. This includes birth, marriage and death certificates, photos (those with names and dates on the back are ideal) and possibly even family heirlooms. You never know what you might find buried in your basement or stowed in your attic. See if your relatives have boxes in the deep recesses of their own homes that they might allow you to access. Think of it as a treasure hunt with the prize being a closer connection to your past.

Here are some online resources to aid in your search:

  • FindAGrave.com and Internment.net allow you to search data from thousands of cemeteries around the world.
  • USGenWeb.org, created and maintained by a group of volunteer genealogists, organizes free genealogy sites by county and state. WorldGenWeb Project is the international version.
  • Footnote.com works in conjunction with the U.S. National Archives, offering data, original records and images.
  • Nearly half of the U.S. population can trace their roots to Ellis Island. Consequently, its site is a treasure trove of data. Click on the genealogy tab for useful tidbits and tools.
  • ProGenealogists is a consortium of professional genealogists with experience, knowledge and access to billions of records.
  • Here are two well-established online sites that can help you store and organize your data: As the largest online resource for family history, Ancestry.com users can search from four billion historical records, with millions of names being added weekly. FamilyTreeMagazine.com, the online component of its bimonthly print publication, offers a free weekly e-newsletter, several blogs, online video tutorials and more.
The Internet just keeps getting more sophisticated with its genealogy research data and digital products. Fernandez gives a shout-out to Geni.com, which he says is trying to be the Facebook of genealogy.

"In fact," he says, "you can actually log in using your Facebook profile."

Once there, you can link up with other family members on the site and share photos, videos and events, create discussion threads and more. And because it's private, no one can view your information without your permission.

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]]>ancestorsancestryancestry.comevergreenfamiliesfamilyfamily funfamily tiesFamily TimeFamilyFunFamilyTiesFamilyTimegenealogygenealogy databasesgenealogy tree framesGenealogy.comGenealogyDatabasesGenealogyTreeFramesJulie Z. RosenbergWed, 30 Mar 2011 17:00:00 ESTSnow Way! Dad and Son Make a Snowman on Las Vegas Striphttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/09/make-a-snowman/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/09/make-a-snowman/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/09/make-a-snowman/#commentsFiled under: ,



We just about melted (pardon the pun) when we saw this video of a desert-dwelling dad determined to share the joy of building a snowman with his 5-year-old son.

After seeing all the news footage of storms across the nation, Arie Thanasoulis, who lives just outside of Las Vegas in Henderson, Nev., decided to seek out some of the white stuff. So, he drove his son Byron 40 miles away to Mt. Charleston and packed up their car with snow so they could share it with others back home. Together, they created a smiling, sunglasses-clad snowman in front of the famous Las Vegas sign. The frosty guy was, at least for a little while, the coolest guy on the Strip.

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]]>snowmanthe editors at ParentDishWed, 09 Feb 2011 11:30:00 ESTHow to Create a Family Treehttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/27/a-family-tree/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/27/a-family-tree/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/27/a-family-tree/#commentsFiled under: , ,

a family tree

Software programs can help in your family tree research. Credit: MCT

There are as many ways to make a family tree as there are types of families.

Thankfully, there are some universal basics to help you get started. First, you need to collect your family's data. Start by interviewing family members, the oldest ones first, and gathering as much documentation as you can find. Many people find genealogy-specific software to be a boon in helping them collect and organize their information.

But, before you purchase any genealogy software, Consumer Search (a neutral aggregator of product reviews) recommends you consider the following:

  • Try before you buy. Take advantage of any free trial offers to weed out potential duds.
  • Look for GEDCOM, which stands for Genealogical Data Communication, the universal family-tree file format. It allows you and your relatives to use different programs, yet still share family data.
  • Make sure it's web compatible. Since the Internet has become an integral part of genealogy research, make sure the software you use works online.
Two of the best-reviewed genealogy software programs are RootsMagic and Legacy Family Tree.

Once you've accumulated and organized all the information you need, you can start thinking about how you want to display it. Just like the research component, there are many digital resources to help you create the family tree of your dreams. Here are a few to check out:
  • Family Tree Super Tools is compatible with most of the popular genealogy software and allows you to create multimedia slide shows with pictures, video and sound. The heirloom-quality wall charts are impressive, and you get a multitude of design tools and options.
  • Generation Maps has an impressive number of genealogy display products from bow-tie, fan and hourglass shapes to classic tree and pedigree styles.
  • SmartDraw offers a free trial of its software that helps you create unique family trees, genealogy charts and genograms, among other things.
  • Family Tree Templates has 40 different templates you can download for free, or you can pay a nominal fee to customize them.
There are many ways to put your personal stamp on your family tree, such as photos, hand and thumbprints or a family crest. If your family hails from all over the world, try incorporating a map into the design with some fun element that indicates who came from where. You're only limited by your imagination.

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]]>ancestryancestry.comevergreenfamilyfamily funfamily treefamily tree makerfamily treesFamilyFunFamilyTreeFamilyTreeMakerFamilyTreesgenealogygenealogy databasesgenealogy tree framesGenealogy.comGenealogyDatabasesGenealogyTreeFramesheritagesoftwarevideoJulie Z. RosenbergThu, 27 Jan 2011 15:00:00 ESTIn China, Visit Your Elders ... Or Else!http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/07/in-china-visit-your-elders-or-else/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/07/in-china-visit-your-elders-or-else/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/07/in-china-visit-your-elders-or-else/#commentsFiled under: ,

You will hang out with your grandfather, little girl, and you'll like it! Credit: Getty


Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go.

Or else.

So, be a dear and pay the ol' gal a visit. Grandma doesn't want to drag your sorry butt to court.

And we're talking Chinese court.

Chinese authorities, never ones for subtlety, are considering a law to make visiting elderly parents and grandparents compulsory. And you do not want to mess with Chinese authorities.

In other words ... My Granny, what big teeth you have.

China Daily reports under the proposed law "elderly people who are ignored by their children can go to a court to claim their legal rights to be physically looked after." This would be the first amendment to China's law on Protection of the Rights and Interests of the Aged since it came into effect in 1996.

Elders are important in traditional Chinese culture. Current Chinese law encourages local governments to give pensions to people 80 and older and offer free medical care to the elderly.

It is seen as a moral requirement in China for people to care for their aged parents and grandparents. Apparently, a lot Chinese people are starting to defy that tradition.

That's a problem in the most populated country in the world. By the end of 2009, China Daily reports, 167 million people were older than 60 and nearly 19 million were older than 80. More than half of the people 60 and older in China live alone, and, in the cities, that number shoots up to 70 percent.

Still, can you really require people to take care of their parents and grandparents?

"It is impossible to carry out the compulsory requirement to visit elderly family members because it violates personal liberty," Qian Jun, a Beijing-based lawyer, tells China Daily. "It would be better to strengthen moral education than to force people to do something legally."

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]]>elder careElderCareelderlygrandparentsTom HendersonFri, 07 Jan 2011 15:00:00 ESTJanuary: Lookin' for Luck? Try Hoppin' Johnhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/07/january-lookin-for-luck-try-hoppin-john/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/07/january-lookin-for-luck-try-hoppin-john/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/07/january-lookin-for-luck-try-hoppin-john/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Our family celebrated the holidays recently in the north Mississippi town of Holly Springs, and as the New Year approached, I happened upon a stash of Southern cookbooks that helped rekindle memories of my upbringing in this lovely antebellum town. It's a place where local food tends to be buttered, deep-fried or drenched in the "pot likker" of a salty, smoky ham hock.

So, with the New Year at hand, there was one dish that our family had to have on the menu: Hoppin' John. This quintessentially Southern concoction is a ham-hock-infused combination of black-eyed peas and rice, typically eaten with cooked greens and cornbread, all in the name of securing good luck for the New Year.

Hoppin John

Good food = good luck? Credit: Deborah Kloha

Now, truth be told, we're not big believers in luck, but we do love our traditions -- particularly those that remind us of who and where we've been over the years. And Hoppin' John does just that for many families who want to start off the new year with savory, simple fare -- the type that their forebears may also have eaten as they celebrated the start of a brand-new 12-month cycle.

Our daughter, Anna, who is my cooking partner in crime, is not usually a rice-and-beans (or peas) fan, but she, too, appreciates the culture of food and the sense of place it conjures. With that in mind, she dove into the prep work of quick-soaking and rinsing dried peas, trimming greens and keeping a watchful eye over the simmering pot of meat and vegetables. And as we occasionally lifted the lid to see how things were stewing -- OK, there were a few teen breaks for Facebook and texting -- we got to talk over our thoughts on the seasonings (she wanted less garlic) and our questions about how Hoppin' John got its name.

We speculated plenty, but never answered the question of who this Hoppin' John guy was, but what good luck we had to have found a few hours this month to spend some time together in the kitchen, in the shared pursuit of meal preparation.

Hoppin John

Get your ingredients prepped before you start cooking. Credit: Deborah Kloha

Hoppin' John With Greens from KitchenDaily

Ingredients:
1 bag (16 oz.) dried black-eyed peas, rinsed and picked over
2 smoked ham hocks, split
2 cups chopped onions
2 medium cloves garlic, peeled
2 bay leaves
1/2 t. ground black pepper
1/2 t. crushed red pepper
1 1/2 lbs kale, collard, or turnip greens, rinsed, tough stems removed, leaves cut into 1/2-inch-wide strips
2 t. salt
1 cup uncooked long-grain white rice

Directions:
To rehydrate the dried peas before cooking, use one of the following methods. Quick soak: Put peas in a large pot with cold water to cover by 2 inches. Bring to a boil, remove from heat and let stand 1 hour. Drain and rinse. Long soak: Put peas in a bowl with cold water to cover by 2 inches. Let stand at room temperature at least 12 hours. Drain and rinse.

Put ham hocks, 8 cups water, the onions, garlic, bay leaves, and black and red pepper in a heavy 5-quart pot. Bring to a boil; skim off and discard foam from top. Reduce heat, cover and simmer 1 1/2 hours.

Stir in soaked peas, the greens and salt. Simmer, uncovered, 1 hour 15 minutes or until meat and peas are tender. Remove bay leaves and discard. Remove ham hocks and let stand until cool enough to handle.

Meanwhile ladle 2 cups "pot likker" (cooking liquid) into a 2-quart saucepan. Bring to a boil and stir in rice. Reduce heat, cover and simmer 20 minutes until rice is tender and liquid is absorbed.

Remove meat from ham hocks. Cut or shred into very small pieces. Add meat and rice to pot with peas. If mixture is soupy, continue cooking until liquid is absorbed, but mixture isn't dry. (Cool, cover and refrigerate at this point if making ahead.)

To serve: Add up to 2 cups water (rice and peas will continue to absorb liquid). Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 8 to 10 minutes.

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]]>Deborah KlohaFri, 07 Jan 2011 12:00:00 ESTAre You More Focused on Family This Holiday Season?http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/10/are-you-more-focused-on-family-this-holiday-season/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/10/are-you-more-focused-on-family-this-holiday-season/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/10/are-you-more-focused-on-family-this-holiday-season/#commentsFiled under: ,

family holidays

Some gifts are free. Credit: Getty Images



A new study on holiday spending attitudes found that 77 percent of Americans are refocusing their efforts on family rather than gift giving.

The study was published by Strayer University, based on polling by Ipsos Public Affairs, according to a press release.

Strayer University professor Dr. Lisa Kincaid says that people are "taking stock of what's important, such as spending time with family, volunteering, and living within their means." While part of the reason people are cutting back on holiday gifts this year is anxiety about the economy, Dr. Kincaid believes that more family-time and less conspicuous consumption could lead to "happier and less stressful lives in the short- and long-term."

We say, why can't we do both? Just kidding.

What about you? Are you more focused on family this holiday season?

Got an idea for a Hot Topic? Talk to us!

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]]>economyfamilyholidayholidaysHot Topichot topicsHotTopicHotTopicsBrett SingerFri, 10 Dec 2010 09:23:00 ESTStop Capital Punishment: Say No to Official Parenting Philosophieshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/24/stop-capital-punishment-say-no-to-official-parenting-philosophi/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/24/stop-capital-punishment-say-no-to-official-parenting-philosophi/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/24/stop-capital-punishment-say-no-to-official-parenting-philosophi/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Recently, feminist Erica Jong wrote a piece in the Wall Street Journal on today's popular parenting methods and how she feels they imprison mothers. She believes philosophies like Attachment Parenting or Green Parenting have "encouraged female victimization" and are the bane of feminism. (Yikes!)

She writes: "Today's bible of child-rearing is "The Baby Book" by William and Martha Sears, which trumpets 'attachment parenting.' You wear your baby, sleep with her and attune yourself totally to her needs ... Add to this the dictates of 'green parenting' -- homemade baby food, cloth diapers, a cocoon of clockless, unscheduled time -- and you have our new ideal. Anything less is bad for baby. Parents be damned."

There was a large and strong negative reaction among mommy bloggers to the article, especially among moms who follow these philosophies. Many felt Jong was overwrought and misguided. Lisa Belkin of the New York Times' Motherlode blog wrote that her piece was "a mishmash of old accusations against overinvolved parenting." Madeline Holler of Babble.com's Strollerderby blog defended Attachment Parenting, writing that Jong equated it with "... helicopter parenting just to drive her point home that today's generation of mothers is letting down hers, because we're goofy and sentimental and too susceptible to images of Heidi Klum's baby bumps and Angelina Jolie's carefully curated international family."

As I read all of the reactions, I couldn't help wondering, "Why are we even having this conversation?" The truth is mothers gravitate toward what they like. If you like sleeping in the same bed as your baby, it's likely you would have done it anyway, regardless of whether Dr. Sears or anyone else ever said you should. If you don't, you won't do it, regardless of whether Dr. Sears or anyone else ever said you should. What's all this stuff about philosophies?

I think the root of this problem is the modern trademarking and institutionalizing of the ways we care for our children. It's as if, once a certain method has an official name, guidebook, set of steps to follow, and published research showing that it can help your child read by age 3, we must all start arguing about whether we need to adhere to it immediately. The people who like The Method will say, "Obviously!" The people who don't will say "This is ridiculous!" Meanwhile, whatever parenting process The Method has sanctified is probably something some mothers have already been doing (and not doing) since the beginning of time.

When we systematize and capitalize a parenting process, it turns into a crucial choice as opposed to something we would have simply considered, decided and moved on with. Rather than a mother choosing to co-sleep because she likes it and wants to do it, she's now supposed to look at it as a life and death decision. How many of her friends are doing it? Will her child be less successful if she does or doesn't do it? What is the cost-benefit ratio? What are the long-term emotional ramifications? Are there dangers? How will she be judged if those dangers become reality? I could collapse from exhaustion just thinking about it.

I don't want my everyday parenting preferences to be turned into some kind of proof of my fitness to be a mother. As Her Bad Mother's Catherine Connors responded in her post on Jong's article, "Whether you attachment parent or Ferber-parent or Von Trapp-parent (you know, where you dress them in starched pinafores and make them sing at your parties), if you're driven by anxiety to follow a style or adhere to a quote-unquote philosophy, and/or if you persist in following that style or philosophy regardless of whether it works for you and your child, you will be imprisoned."

There are things I enjoy doing as a mom, and things I don't. No co-sleeping for me. No daily craft project. You'll catch me dead before you'll ever catch me homeschooling. It's not who I am. If I tried to do those things, I'd suffer a permanent attack of claustrophobia. Instead, I do what works for me.

One area where I excel? Bedtime. I may have one of the world's greatest bedtime routines. It goes a little something like this:
  • 7 p.m. -- Everyone piles in my bed while I read two stories aloud, one selected by 4-year-old daughter and one selected by 9-year-old son, and they eat their nightly snack of cut-up fruit and berries.
  • 7:30 p.m. -- My 4-year-old daughter and I head to her room. We climb in bed together and I read another story aloud to her or we work on learning to read a little bit. Then the lights go out and I sing three songs ("Grey Squirrel," "Twinkle Twinkle" and "God Bless America") while administering a nice back rub. Then chit chat, lots of hugs and kisses, a promise to see you in the morning, and I'm off.
  • 8:15 p.m. -- I climb in bed with my 9-year-old son who has been reading for the last half hour. I pick up where he left off in his chapter book and read aloud to him for 30-45 minutes. Then the lights go off, he gets his regular back scratch, and we talk in the darkness.
  • 9 p.m. -- World's greatest bedtime routine done.

My husband thinks this is completely out of control. He can't understand why I disappear for two hours to put the kids to sleep. He thinks I'm coddling them. Like Jong, he might even utter the words victimization and imprisonment. What he doesn't realize is that the routine is as much for me as it is for them. I may not do some of the things other moms do, but I do this, and my kids love it. You have babywearing, I have super extreme bedtime. I didn't find it in any book. It's not an Official Parenting Philosophy. It's just my thing. It works for me and I'm sticking to it, victimization be damned.

You can be sure I will not be writing a book called "The Stone Slumbertime System" and require you all to read it and follow it in order to be good mothers. I don't want you to compare your bedtime routine to mine, and I no longer wish to compare your craft-making/cloth diapering/gluten-free skills to my complete lack thereof.

I'd like it if we could just stop the "capital" punishment. Instead, let's all be friends and agree to keep this parenting stuff lowercase.

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]]>attachment parentingCatherine ConnorsErica JongLisa Belkinparentingparenting stylesParentingStylesKatherine StoneWed, 24 Nov 2010 12:14:00 ESTFixing My Grandmother's Hand Mixer - A Thanksgiving DIY Talehttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/23/fixing-my-grandmothers-hand-mixer-a-thanksgiving-diy-tale/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/23/fixing-my-grandmothers-hand-mixer-a-thanksgiving-diy-tale/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/23/fixing-my-grandmothers-hand-mixer-a-thanksgiving-diy-tale/#commentsFiled under: ,

Some outdated household tools are priceless when it comes to sentimental value. Here's a true tale of DIYer Kristine Solomon's quest to preserve her grandmother's old-fashioned hand mixer -- and her memory.

Thanksgiving Kristine Solomon picture

My grandmother, Theresa, and I on Thanksgiving 1984. Photo: Kristine Solomon


I grew up with a passion for baking thanks to my grandmother, a woman who made domesticity look glamorous long before Martha Stewart became famous for it. We made cakes, loaves, muffins and of course, Thanksgiving pies -- all with an old-fashioned hand mixer. Not a battery-operated KitchenAid mixer. I'm talking about the type that operates on elbow grease and a handheld crank (in a lovely, retro shade of robin's egg blue, no less. Even her kitchen appliances were stylish).
My grandmother passed away three months before Thanksgiving 2007, rather suddenly, at the age of 81. The task of sorting through her stuff a few weeks later was a bittersweet experience: Part of me felt I was invading her privacy, and the other part indulged in the nostalgia these items stirred up inside me. Her collection of scarves -- Pucci, Yves St. Laurent, Chanel -- all smelled like her perfume (they still do). Her mid-century modern, periwinkle blue espresso cups were still in (almost) pristine condition. They're displayed on my kitchen shelf now.


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And, of course, there was the hand mixer I remembered so fondly. The one we used so many times to make so many desserts, all of which were delicious and made from scratch (Italian grandmas are the best cooks, I tell you). The mixer was tattered but proud; operating smoothly, despite its chipped hand crank and its missing plastic handle. I took the relic and stored it in my utensil drawer, making a mental note to repair it when I got a chance.

Fast forward three years. With Thanksgiving 2010 approaching, I came across the old mixer again, with its telltale signs of having beat a few too many batters. Could I really fix this outdated hunk of metal? I don't even know the manufacturer. And even if I did, I highly doubt they sell replacement handles at this point. When I tried to use it, I'd just grab onto the metal bar, where that robin's egg blue plastic handle once was. The sharp, bare metal bar. "No, that won't hurt my hand. Not a bit. I'm tough." Famous last words, as my grandmother would say. After just three cranks, the metal handle dug into my hand and I knew I'd never be able to use this mixer again. Not in its current state anyway.

So I had this crazy idea: I'd make a handle for it. Out of what, though? I wasn't sure. I'd have to MacGyver it. I'd need materials that were waterproof and had a comfortable hand feel. Piece of cake.

My first idea was to use modeling clay, then paint it once it hardened. But I'd have to bake the clay, and I certainly didn't want to risk putting the entire hand mixer in the oven. Nothing good could come out of that. Then I thought silicone might work. Plenty of kitchen utensils are made of this waterproof, heat-resistant material. Problem was, I didn't really know where to get silicone. Then it hit me: foam rubber! Covered in ... something waterproof.

My first stop was Canal Rubber in NYC, a garage-like shop filled with every type of rubber you could imagine. I knew they'd have something that could serve as a cushion for my new handle. I explained my odd project to the store employee: "I have this old hand mixer. It was my grandmother's. We used to bake with it together. I want to fix the handle so I can use it again . Do you recommend any specific type of foam rubber?" He met my request with a blank stare, then ambled over to pile of neoprene sponge rubber mats and handed me one.

"Do you suggest I wrap this around the metal handle?" I asked. He replied, "I suggest you go out and buy a food processor."

That's when I realized it must seem slightly crazy to other people that I was, essentially, trying to make the Frankenstein monster of kitchen tools, when there was a home improvement center just down the block. One that sold many types of inexpensive, 21st century power mixers. I couldn't expect the rubber store employee to understand that a dilapidated, manually operated hand mixer circa 1970 was one of my most prized family heirlooms, could I? Of course not. But also, I didn't care. I'm a DIYer, meaning I have the creativity and talent to give a sentimental object new life. That's the beauty of DIYing, isn't it? Repair, reuse, reinvent. I pressed on.

Next was Canal Plastics, a store that, as advertised, had products for all of my plastic needs. I finally decided on a thin sheet of plastic that was glossy white on one side and shiny silver on the other. Armed with Gorilla Glue and my imagination, I got to work.

First I tried wrapping the foam rubber around the handles, but the handle became too bulky to hold comfortably. Next idea: I wrapped two pieces of foam individually with plastic to create two separate cushions, then glued one cushion to either side of the metal handle. A few attempts and several stuck fingers later (Gorilla Glue is really sticky), I had a fully functioning hand mixer with a comfy cushioned handle, all shiny silver to match the stainless steel body.

Now, after all these years, I can start baking again with the hand mixer my grandmother used all those years ago when she was teaching me to bake. And I'm thankful indeed! Will I still use an electric mixer? Probably sometimes. Not always, though. My grandmother never had one, and I guess she never knew what she was missing. Come to think of it, she also had nice arms.

So this Thanksgiving, I know for sure I'll be making a pumpkin pie, and I know what I'll be using to make it. Of course, I don't expect my pumpkin pie to be as good as my grandma's. Maybe one day I'll figure that part out.

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]]>diythe editors at DIY LifeTue, 23 Nov 2010 14:30:00 ESTComing Home - and Coming Out - at Holiday Gatheringshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/19/coming-home-and-coming-out-at-holiday-gatherings/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/19/coming-home-and-coming-out-at-holiday-gatherings/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/19/coming-home-and-coming-out-at-holiday-gatherings/#commentsFiled under: , ,

It's amazing how much can happen over a simple holiday meal. Heartfelt toasts can be offered, jokes shared and old stories delivered with gusto can all revitalize warm and loving familial feelings.

Or, something else can happen.

Subtle -- or not so subtle -- judgments can be aired, old resentments can rear their ugly heads, or dirty looks can be shot across the table, all while doing something as harmless as asking someone to pass the salt.

Family gatherings have the potential to nourish the soul or inflict the kind of psychological pain that can take months to heal. In other words, big holiday reunions are not for the faint of heart, and not the place to come out if you're gay, or to introduce a same-sex partner to the family for the first time if everyone isn't at least a little prepared.

Here are a few things to keep in mind if you're planning to bring your same-sex partner home for the holidays:

1. Make sure you and your partner are truly ready. I don't care how much in love the two of you are, introducing your boyfriend or girlfriend to Uncle Fred or Grandma can be awkward, even if they've known for years that you're gay. Be prepared for unspoken tension at the table, and let your partner know a bit about each family member so he or she has some ice-breakers or conversation starters to help grease the wheel as everyone adjusts.

2. Give yourselves and your family space. It may be easier to stay at a hotel for your first visit home together, both to give you two a place to reconnect, and time for your family to regroup. Let your parents know in advance that you prefer to stay nearby where you can participate in family events without being underfoot 24/7. If you decide to stay at home, allow your folks to propose whatever sleeping arrangements they're most comfortable offering. Don't make it your cause to demand that you and your partner sleep there together; your goal should be to help everyone get to know one another comfortably.

3. Do not come out at a holiday gathering by appearing out of nowhere with a same-sex partner. As tempting as it might be to boldly announce your sexual orientation to a family that has refused to recognize who you really are, the holidays are not the time and the place. If most of your family is aware but, say, Grandpa still doesn't know you're gay, talk with him in advance so he isn't caught off guard.

4. Be yourself, and keep it light. Introducing a loved one to family should be carried off with joy and celebration. While your family members may show varied reactions to your new partner, give them time and don't take things too personally. Have fun with the relatives who are at ease, and be patient with those who aren't. And most of all, enjoy your visit. For better or for worse, there's no place like home!

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]]>coming outComingOutgay partnerGayPartnerSusan Stiffelman, MFTFri, 19 Nov 2010 15:00:00 ESTLaurie David Talks About Her New Book, 'The Family Dinner'http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/03/laurie-david-talks-about-her-new-book-the-family-dinner/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/03/laurie-david-talks-about-her-new-book-the-family-dinner/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/03/laurie-david-talks-about-her-new-book-the-family-dinner/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,

Laurie David The Family Dinner

Laurie David gives tips for connecting with your kids in "The Family Dinner." Credit: Amazon

One of the best things about the work I do with parents and children is when I discover a kindred spirit, someone whose sensibilities and commitment to children resonates with my own.

One of those treasures is my friend Laurie David, a mover and shaker in the entertainment world, former wife of Larry David of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" fame and a co-producer of "An Inconvenient Truth." But more than that, Laurie is a passionate parent who recognizes how important it is to create rituals that bring families together.

Laurie's jewel of a book, "The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time," comes out today. As we stood in line a few weeks ago for a movie, she handed me one of the first copies, hot off the press. Laurie, who lives the notion that "love is in the details," had thoughtfully placed sticky markers on every page where she had quoted me.

As I browsed the book, I couldn't have been more impressed with the care and creativity that had gone into each chapter, from table dressings to family dinners after divorce.

Here's what Laurie has to say about "The Family Dinner," and how she hopes families will benefit from it.

ParentDish: Laurie, you and I have talked at length about our concerns about the effect of technology on kids. How has that affected your passion about families having dinner together?
Laurie David: Like most people parenting today, I'm dealing with the invasion of technology in my home. I'm not happy about it. I'm the mom of two teenage girls, and the cell phone, computer and television are often the bane of my existence. But I put my foot down at dinnertime -- their devices are not welcome guests at the table.

PD: We both know how hard it can be to get kids to disengage from what they're doing and come to the table. What are a couple of tricks you use to get your girls to want to come to dinner?
LD: The beauty of rituals is that they work. And it doesn't take very long doing something over and over until it becomes second nature for everyone. In our house, when it's dinnertime, everyone now knows to just stop whatever they're doing and come to the table. Of course, having delicious fresh food and having fun things to talk about helps, too.

PD: Both of our books have the word "connection" in the title. One of my favorite parts of yours is the section on using family conversation to nourish that sense of closeness between parents and children. You've put a host of conversation starters into your book for keeping kids engaged and interested at the table. Can you tell me one of your favorites?
LD: I believe that conversation is just as important as the food, and so I've made a big effort over the years to have fun things to talk about at the table. One favorite is the Name Change game. I challenge your readers to try this at home tonight. All you do is go around the table and have everyone say what they would change their name to, if they could. This opens up a great discussion about whether or not they like their name and who they were named after.

PD: You're the busiest person I know. How is it that you manage to do any of this? Is there hope for those of us who don't usually have time to put together a beautiful table or a home-cooked meal?
LD: Absolutely yes! The great news about family dinner is that it doesn't have to be three courses and an apple pie in the oven. It can just as easily be PB and J sandwiches and soup and a salad. In fact, yummy black bean soup (recipe page 82) and a little green salad is one of my favorite dinners. And here's another suggestion: Eat somewhere different in your house. Change rooms. Have a picnic on the floor. This idea will make dinner special no matter what you serve.

PD: You know, we've been friends for a while, but I've never asked you this. Was Larry as funny at the dinner table as he is on the screen, and did he energize every conversation?
LD: The funny thing is that most people would think that having a professional comedian at your table would automatically lead to engaging conversation. But I don't think that Larry ever really had great dinner role models growing up. Dinner for him was about refueling. So a lot of the ideas in the book were employed in my house to teach everyone to have conversation and participate. I can tell you that although Larry was no help at all in the kitchen before dinner, he was fantastic after dinner cleaning pots and he took great pride in his work.

PD: I love that you two are clearly maintaining a real friendship, even sharing meals together with your girls. How did you get to that point, and what motivated you?
LD: Just because our marriage didn't work out doesn't mean our children aren't both of our priorities. The ritual of family dinner helped us all through the difficult years and eventually brought us all back together again. I have a chapter about it in the book and, since half of all marriages end in divorce, I hope that this will inspire other people to get back to the table.

PD: You interviewed an incredibly impressive list of people for your book, including Robert Kennedy, Jr., Tom Hanks, Jamie Oliver and even me, ParentDish's AdviceMama! What sort of common thread showed up in these conversations?
LD: One of the great privileges of writing this book was the opportunity to interview so many of my mentors and people who I admire. Their words of wisdom are sprinkled throughout the book. The common thread with everyone was what a powerful impact their own childhood family dinners had had on them, whether they were good or bad. For the most part, people get warm and fuzzy when they start to recollect their own family meals, and isn't that exactly the point?

PD: What do you most hope people take away from reading your book, Laurie?
LD: I hope people will read the book, place it on their kitchen counter, make something they've never tried before and then bring the book to the table to help spark a great conversation. My hope is that everyone's copy will be food-stained, tattered, highlighted, flagged and well used.

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]]>an inconvenient truthAnInconvenientTruthCurb Your EnthusiasmCurbYourEnthusiasmlaurie davidLaurieDavidSusan Stiffelman, MFTWed, 03 Nov 2010 13:00:00 ESTShare Your Life Lessons With the Kids in Keepsake Journalhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/28/share-your-life-lessons-with-the-kids-in-keepsake-journal/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/28/share-your-life-lessons-with-the-kids-in-keepsake-journal/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/28/share-your-life-lessons-with-the-kids-in-keepsake-journal/#commentsFiled under: ,

Share your life stories with your kids in a non-threatening, fun way that will mean even more to them when they're all grown up. Credit: Uncommon Goods

Wouldn't it be great if we could find a way for our kids to truly benefit from our experiences?

"The Parent's Field Guide to Life" is an illustrative journal that lets you do just that, by giving you a place to share your life experiences and advice about topics that probably don't come up in everyday family conversations.

The hand-bound journal is divided into 12 chapters, each devoted to a specific topic such as "blazing your own trail," "find your purpose," "bumps in the road" and "family." And the included instructional guide provides examples, questions and prompts to help you recall and write about the events and experiences that have shaped your life.

So, if you just don't seem to have the time to shop for a publisher and secure a book deal for your memoir, we recommend getting it all down on paper this way -- and creating something your family will cherish for years to come.

Available exclusively at Uncommon Goods for $34.

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]]>giftsjournalmemoirshoppingHoney BerkThu, 28 Oct 2010 14:00:00 ESTParentDish's Healthy Families Challenge: On Your Mark, Get Set ...http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/01/parentdishs-healthy-families-challenge-on-your-mark-get-set/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/01/parentdishs-healthy-families-challenge-on-your-mark-get-set/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/01/parentdishs-healthy-families-challenge-on-your-mark-get-set/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

... and go!

At the starting line we have:

1. Four revved-up families.
2. A list of attainable goals.
3. An action-packed roster of opportunities to get healthier by moving more and eating better.
4. And eight whole months devoted to feeling alive and looking great.

Meet the Families:

amy hatch family pictures

Credit: Kathleen Nealon

The Hatch-Palucks, two parents and two young kids from Urbana, Illinois, all planning to teach their genes the meaning of the word longevity with a new, improved food-and-fitness plan featuring fewer carbs, more cardio.


diedra jackson family pictures

Credit: Jackson Family

The Jacksons, a single mom and her son from Oxford, Mississippi. She's bent on getting her svelte back through diet and exercise; he wants to increase his rule in the tween sports world.


quintana family pictures

Credit: Quintana Family

The Quintanas, a Miami-based mom, dad and four kids (three of them teens!). They're looking to kick some butt on the martial arts mats. Not to mention to make sense of their vegan-carnivore-fast food menu.

drevitch family pictures

Credit: Drevitch Family

And the Drevitches, an overscheduled New York City family of five, including three kids who excel at completely different activities. Mom and Dad need to find "parent time" for working out. And the kids? Well, they need to make friends with fruits and vegetables.

Join us every week, beginning Monday, October 4th, and watch our Healthy Families Challengers journey along the fitness path.

Feel free to chime in and cheer them on.

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]]>Carole BradenFri, 01 Oct 2010 09:00:00 EST