Just For Dads

Claire Van Arsdale has been room mother for her daughter's class for the past three years, and she says she would do it again in a heartbeat.

"I enjoyed getting to know the teachers a bit better than I would have otherwise," says this Rochester, N.Y., mom of one. "I really enjoyed being part of my daughter's classroom experience."

Now that the calendar is beginning to flip toward fall, it's time to start thinking about back-to-school, and that doesn't just mean getting back into the academic groove or buying school supplies. It also means thinking about how -- and if -- you plan to volunteer at your child's school.

There are plenty of ways to get involved, of course, including fundraising or participating in the PTSA and other formal school-based organizations. But if you're looking for a more intimate experience with your child's classroom, you may want to consider being the class mom.

Every once in a while, a product comes along that you think will revolutionize your life. That's exactly how we feel about the GRID-IT! organizer system.

Each GRID-IT! organizer is made up of a series of rubberized woven elastic bands that grip things, holding them firmly in place. The versatile design allows for endless configurations, so you can stow tons of stuff -- from cell phones and gadgets to pens and notebooks -- in one easy-to-access place.

Adding or removing items is a breeze, and there's no worry of everything else coming loose. Just load up your stuff, pop the organizer in your purse, backpack or luggage -- and off you go.

Available at Cocoon for $9.99 and up.

Related: Whip Up Fast, Fresh Meals With Baby Food Maker

As a brutally-tough trainer on NBC's The Biggest Loser, Jillian Michaels screams, bellows and generally terrifies fitness-challenged contestants. Harsh? Maybe. Effective? Definitely. So ParentDish asked the health-and-fitness guru how to shape up our families and overhaul our snack drawers.

It's time for some tough love.

ParentDish: What were you like as a little kid? We read that you were 175 lbs. at 5 feet tall. What were your eating/exercise habits like back then?
Jillian Michaels: I was a very sensitive kid. The class loser all through junior high. The chubby ugly duckling that ate lunch alone every day. I ate all processed crap and used food for comfort. Microwave pancakes and sausage for breakfast. Pizza, Coke, potato boat for my school lunch. Then after school, I would eat an entire bag of Cheetos. For dinner I would eat Taco Bell and lots of it with ice cream for dessert. As for fitness ... I played a bit of soccer when I was very young and I skate boarded but not enough to offset my eating habits.

PD: What gave you the impetus to change?
JM: By the age of 14 I got into martial arts an it turned my life around. The strength I developed physically transcended into every facet of my life.

PD: Should a parent be as tough on their kids as you are with The Biggest Loser contestants?
JM: NO!!! The Biggest Loser is about life-or-death confrontations. Last ditch attempts to get people back on track. Kids need positive reinforcement only.

Love Twitter? So do we! It can be tough to keep tabs on all your favorite "Tweeters" from the "Twitterverse" -- but don't worry, we've got you covered! Here's our favorite parenting Tweets of the week, raw and uncensored, typos and all, just as you see them on Twitter. Follow ParentDish on Twitter to join the discussion (who knows, maybe we'll feature you here!).

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Read any good Tweets? Give us a shout on Twitter and let us know all about it!

Dear AdviceMama:

My daughter is 10 years old and wants to be a fair maiden for Halloween. She fell in love with a costume in a catalog two months ago and insists it was meant for her. She's dreamt about it, talked about it and has even shown it to all her friends.

The problem is, her dad feels it's too sexy and is refusing to buy it. It's also expensive, and we really can't afford it.

She is heartbroken and has been having fits, tantrums and doing everything under the sun to get us to give in. What should we do?

Signed, Unhappy at Halloween

Dear Unhappy at Halloween:

Mother Nature was very wise in designing children. Their size (small) and stature (dependent) ensure that they are bound to experience frustration on a daily basis. What better way to master a skill than to get lots of practice?

As painful as it is to watch our children suffer when they can't have what they want, if we want them to grow up to be happy, resilient adults, we need to help them manage their feelings when life doesn't go their way.

There are only two outcomes to frustration. One is adaptation and the other is aggression.

"Motherhood" director Katherine Dieckmann told ParentDish how she felt about making a movie about the misery of the job. Here's what Dieckmann had to say, in her own words ...



When I started writing "Motherhood," a movie I also directed, which opens today, I never imagined some fictionalized version of myself being incarnated by Uma Thurman. I think moms everywhere might agree how very distant that concept seems when you're washing vomit-stained sheets after staying up all night with a sick child, or when you're trying to take an unexpected work call from home without ever letting anyone on the other end realize the kids are in the next room being medicated by "SpongeBob SquarePants."

Love Twitter? So do we! It can be tough to keep tabs on all your favorite "Tweeters" from the "Twitterverse" -- but don't worry, we've got you covered! Here's our favorite parenting Tweets of the week, raw and uncensored, typos and all, just as you see them on Twitter. Follow ParentDish on Twitter to join the discussion (who knows, maybe we'll feature you here!).

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Read any good Tweets? Give us a shout on Twitter and let us know all about it!

If there's one thing modern childhood experts have drilled into our heads, it's that we should avoid overpraising our kids.

Apparently, our unconditional approval will lead them down a path that ends only in drug-dealing, prostitution, book-making or related trades. If we build up our children too much, then the moment Mommy and Daddy aren't around to stroke their egos, they'll crumble like week-old, preservative-free cupcakes.

The only problem with this approach? It's completely wrong.

Many of us practice "conditional parenting," which means withholding attention and affection when our children disobey or disrespect us. And we assume that the kids understand that the time-outs we dole out don't change the way we feel about them. But new research shows that's exactly the message they get.

As reported in The New York Times, researchers Avi Assor and Guy Roth of Israel and Edward Deci of the U.S. conducted a series of studies -- the latest took place this summer -- to discover the effect of conditional parenting on kids. They found that while children of conditional parents were somewhat more obedient than other young adults, the main difference was that they liked their parents less.

Hmmm.

The kids also reported more frequent feelings of unworthiness, shame and guilt ... not unlike the guilt you may be feeling as you read this.

Despite the findings, you can be sure that conditional parenting isn't going away anytime soon. It has high-powered advocates, like Dr. Phil, Supernanny and their fellow time-out travelers, who insist that instead of bending over backwards to make sure kids are happy 24/7, parents must stand up and assert their will. If children won't bathe, finish their homework and eat their carrots on demand, mothers and fathers should take away treats and privileges until the kids get with the program.

Conditional parenting also feels right, especially for us dads. When we're called to the rescue by wives grappling with stubborn, disobedient children, our quick and forceful punishments end the crises, at least for the short term. Doing what Assor, Roth and Deci say we should do -- forget the time-outs and devote more time to giving kids the guidance to make the right decisions themselves -- is a lot more work.

But it may be worth it.

The moments that dads like this one really love best are the quiet ones when we explain the world to the kids -- why we work, why we wear seat belts, why we run out the clock instead of running up the score. In the back of my mind is the fear that all the clashes of will with my children are wiping out all that is gained in those quieter moments.

We know how much we love our children -- we tell the world every day through the photos on our desks and the status updates on our Facebook pages.

But the kids aren't so sure, if the new research is to be believed.

The Dr. Phils of the world say that caring too much about how our kids feel about us is a sign of weakness. I used to agree, but I'm starting to believe that the need to win every argument, to have one's authority go unchallenged, and to shun compromise even when there's just one carrot left on the plate may be the real sign of weakness.

It's a bird ... it's a plane ... it's Superdad!

Most dads will tell you they perform their parental duties just fine sans blue tights and red cape. But a group of British fathers who call themselves New Fathers 4 Justice dress up like Spider-Man, Batman and, of course, Superman to fight for fathers' rights.

So far, according to ComicsAlliance, the group has been unsuccessful in getting the British government to change family law in response their high-profile protests. And their public image took a blow when some members were accused of plotting to kidnap former British Prime Minister Tony Blair's son.

This summer, Captain America and Bananaman (yeah, we don't know who he is, either) perched themselves atop construction cranes in South Wales and flew banners reading "Where's Daddy?" before getting arrested, reports ComicsAlliance. Dads on this side of the pond have gotten in on the action, too. Spider-Man stood on a crane located at Ohio State University for four days and other dads took their protest to the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.

Check out this video of Superman plopped on the roof of a British politician's home conducting a phone interview with a journalist.

Does this image make you want to support dads fighting to change family law?

Space: The final frontier ... for parents?

All seven astronauts aboard the space shuttle Discovery, which was supposed to launch Tuesday but got delayed and launched on Saturday, are parents, reports the Associated Press in a story picked up by The New York Times.

In total, the crew boasts 20 children ranging in age from 6 to 26. The AP offered a glimpse into the lives of the parents.

While space has become a family affair, only one mom is along for Discovery's ride -- Nicole Stott, who has a 7-year-old son. Stott, 46, will have the distinction of being the first American woman to live at the international space station for three months with a young child at home. Her husband, Chris, will care for their son while the space mom is away, as he has done throughout Stott's overseas training.

In spite of the adventurous nature of Stott's business trip, she sounded like a lot of moms who juggle work and family when she told the AP, "'I can honestly say I would not be doing this if I didn't think it was to help improve life here on Earth for him [her son] and make things better for the future for him and other kids as well."

Stott isn't the only one inspired by her child.

Astronaut Danny Olivas, 43, has five children ages 6 to 14. He told the AP: "'The whole notion of exploring and space is what we, as human beings, can fundamentally do to nurture our children's sense of awe and pushing their own envelopes."

And Jose Hernandez, 47, also a father of five, hopes his family history will inspire children. Having grown up in a Mexican migrant family and used education to overcome poverty, Hernandez told the AP he wants kids to think, ''Hey, you know, if he did it, why can't I do it?''

Adding to the Discovery brood, pilot Kevin Ford has two children in their 20s; Commander Rick Sturckow has two young children; Patrick Forrester has two sons in their 20s; and Swedish astronaut Christer Fuglesang has three children.