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Link Found Between Teen Sex and Divorce Rate

Tom Henderson — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: Teens, Divorce & Custody, In The News, Sex, Teen Culture

A study has shown that teens who engage in sexual intercourse at a young age are more likely to get divorced. Credit: Getty Images

Teenage girls may want to save themselves for marriage, that is, if they want to stay married.

Researchers at the University of Iowa have found a link between teenage girls losing their virginity and the chances they'll get divorced later on.

In fact, researchers found 31 percent of women who had sex for the first time as teenagers were divorced from their first husbands within five years, and 47 percent divorced within 10 years. By comparison, only 15 percent of girls who delayed sex until adulthood were divorced within five years and only 27 percent within 10 years.

A university press release reports the risk of divorce shot up dramatically when a girl's first sexual encounter was unwanted, she had mixed feelings about it or occurred before she was 16.

Lead researcher Anthony Paik, an associate professor of sociology, examined responses from 3,793 women to the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth. The women had all been married -- at least once.

Why the link between teenage sex and divorce?

Researchers speculate related factors such as a higher number of sexual partners, pregnancies and out-of-wedlock births might contribute to the higher divorce rate.

Some 31 percent of women who lost their virginity during adolescent went on to have multiple sex partners -- compared with 24 percent among women who waited. Almost 30 percent of sexually active teenage girls got pregnant, and one in four had babies before they got married -- compared with one in 10 among the later bloomers.

"The results are consistent with the argument that there are down sides to adolescent sexuality, including the increased likelihood of divorce," Paik says in the press release. "But there's also support for the 'more sex positive' view, because if a teen delays sex to late adolescence and it is wanted, that choice in itself doesn't necessarily lead to increased risk of divorce."

According to the press release, only a small percentage of women who had sex before age 18 said it was completely wanted. Only 1 percent chose to have sex at age 13 or younger, 5 percent at age 14 or 15, and 10 percent at age 16 or 17.

Paik speculates women who had sex as teenagers were predisposed to divorce.

"The attitudes that made them feel OK about having sex as teens may have also influenced the outcome of their marriage," Paik says in the press release. "The other possibility is a causal explanation -- that the early sexual experience led to the development of behaviors or beliefs that promote divorce.

"If the sex was not completely wanted or occurred in a traumatic context, it's easy to imagine how that could have a negative impact on how women might feel about relationships, or on relationship skills," Paik adds. "The experience could point people on a path toward less stable relationships."

It's a timely topic, given the current debate over the sexualization of girls, Paik says in the release.

"This study tries to provide some answers about adolescent sexuality and the risk of marital dissolution, and the results show that both the context and early onset of first intercourse are associated with divorce."

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Should You Give Condoms to Your Teen? From Dr. Drew

the editors at MarloThomas.com — Fri, 13 May 2011 17:00:00 EST

Filed under: Sex, Teen Culture, Expert Advice: Teens

A conflicted mother asks sex and addiction expert Dr. Drew whether or not she should supply condoms to your sexually active teenager. Watch the video to see what Dr. Drew advises!

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Condoms for Tweens: Philly Health Department Passing Out Protection to 11-Year-Olds

Tom Henderson — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 14:40:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex

Free condoms in middle schools are a rising trend. Credit: Getty Images

Your daughter is turning 11 and wants to host a sleepover.

If you want to make the celebration really special, spice things up by allowing her to invite some boys over for an orgy. That's right, an orgy.

They're not just for Roman emperors and magazine publishers who spend all day in their PJs anymore. Public health officials say they're all the rage 'round Philadelphia way.

And you wouldn't believe the party favors kids as young as 10 and 11 are bringing home.

With numerous tales of these door prizes reaching the public health department, the London Daily Mail reports health officials have taken the extraordinary -- and controversial -- measure of offering some freebies of their own: free condoms for middle school students, as well as a video tutorial on how to use them.

The Mail reports this is in response to increasing reports of kids skipping school for what you might call independent study.

Reality can't be avoided, Jill Foster, director of the Dorothy Mann Centre for Pediatric and Adolescent HIV, tells the Philadephia Inquirer.

"We follow 200 teenagers with HIV, and the youngest is 12," she says. "When we started doing HIV treatment in 1998, the average age of patients was 16 or 17. The first time we got a 13-year-old was mind-blowing. But people have no idea how tough it is to be a kid who's exposed to sexual media images and peer pressure.

"It's routine for 12- and 13-year-olds to talk about sex," she adds. "Younger kids hear them and they want to be part of that older world. They don't have maturity or impulse control, so if we can get them to have condoms with them when they start having sex, they are going to be safer. I wish it weren't necessary. Unfortunately, it is."

Statistics from the Centers for Disease Control confirm that the age a kid in Philly starts having sex is 13. That's the youngest age of any city in the country.

The Daily Mail reports the video offered to schools guides kids through the process of putting on female condoms with a number of suggested poses. One video shows an animated girl with her leg on a chair. Another demonstrates how the condom can be inserted lying down.

Another video shows a cartoon penis carrying a condom and putting it over his head before making a vigorous thrusting action.

"We do more workshops in middle schools than in high schools," Gary Bell, the executive director of the sexual health charity Bebashi-Transition to Hope, tells the Inquirer.

"Teachers call us because their kids are acting out sexually," he adds. "They'll catch them in the bathroom or the stairwell. They hear that kids are cutting schools to have orgies."

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College Couples Hook Up and Check Out Emotionally, but Virgins on the Rise Too

Mary Beth Sammons — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex, Relationships

Even this is too romantic for a hook-up mentality. Credit: AFP/Getty Images

When it comes to the sex lives of American college students, courtship and dating are out -- and booty calls and virginity are in.

Sounds contradictory, but recent studies suggest that traditional dating on college campuses has been replaced by no-strings-attached (or "hook-up") relationships where the bonds between young men and women are increasingly brief and sexual, according to USA Today. These "hook-ups" or "friends with benefits" are defined as encounters ranging from kissing to sexual intercourse, the newspaper reports.

At the same time, a rising number of young women and men are considering sex more precious, with percentages of men and women between the ages of 18-24 who are virgins on the rise, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

"You just don't date at colleges," says Kathleen Adams, 23, now a Fordham University graduate student, who tells USA Today she didn't have a boyfriend until the second semester of her senior year.

What's driving these trends, experts agree, is that most colleges have significantly more women than men, according to USA Today.

"It's kind of like a competition," Adams tells USA Today. "The guys have their choice of whoever they want. So they think, 'Why would I date?' "

Adams' experience underscores an emerging reality for today's college students,
Mark Regnerus, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Texas-Austin, tells USA Today.

His research reinforces the idea that the higher proportion of women on campuses has contributed to the ascent of the hook-up culture. Overall, women made up more than 56 percent of the college population in 2009, according to the recent Census data on enrollments; more women are found on many campuses that serve both sexes.

"The women wind up competing with each other for access to the men, and often, that means relationships become sexual quicker," Regnerus, co-author of "Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think About Marrying," tells USA Today. His book is based on four national studies representing 25,000 young people ages 18-23 and more than 200 additional interviews.

"The result of these casual encounters, is that college students no longer know how to get relationships started," says Justin Garcia, a State University of New York doctoral fellow at Binghamton (N.Y.) University who conducts research on hook-ups.

"For the majority of students, they're not going to dinner and a movie unless they've hooked up with someone," Garcia tells USA Today. "Some physical interaction comes before the dating. Often dates happen after a relationship, rather than before."

But even so, "it's not like everyone is having casual sex all the time," says sociologist Paula England of Stanford University. Her ongoing research has surveyed more than 17,000 students from 20 colleges and universities since 2005.

"Some people are hooking up a bunch of times with the same person but are not calling it a relationship," England tells USA Today. "Others are never doing anything you would call a hook-up."

Her latest data finds that by senior year, 72 percent of both sexes reported having at least one hook-up, with the average of 9.7 for men and 7.1 for women. Just under one-quarter (24 percent) of seniors say they are virgins, she says.

The numbers of those who claim virginity appears to be increasing, according to a National Center for Health Statistics study released this month. Among 18- and 19-year-olds, about one-quarter of men and women said they hadn't had sexual contact with another person, up from 17 percent of women and 22 percent of men in 2002. Among those ages 20-24, 12 percent of women and 13 percent of men said they were virgins, up from 8 percent for both sexes in 2002.

"We're seeing that the choice to remain abstinent is increasingly resonant," Valerie Huber, executive director of the non-profit National Abstinence Education Association, tells USA Today.

That organization is launching a campaign next year to "rebrand the cultural message" and tell young people that "sexual activity as a rite of passage" is no longer an expectation for teens and young adults.

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Working Moms, Dads Too Stressed for Sex, Survey Finds

Tom Henderson — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 12:30:00 EST

Filed under: Work Life, In The News, Funny Stuff, Sex

A survey finds 25 percent of working parents say they would have more flexibility in their lives if they left their current jobs. Credit: Getty Images

Marriage and kids are apparently a surefire cure for sex.

At least 62 percent of working parents are too stressed out to have sex with their spouses, according to a national survey commissioned by Care.com Inc. They're also too frazzled to go to the gym or even keep in contact with their friends.

Maybe it's time to consider career opportunities in either the fast food or housekeeping industries.

According to the same survey, 25 percent of working parents say they would have more flexibility in their lives if they left their current jobs for jobs that pay less -- even considerably less. And, speaking of flexibility, it might also improve their sex lives.

Care.com has a dog in this fight.

The company provides nanny and baby-sitting services. So, feeling overwhelmed by parental responsibilities? Care.com might just have a solution.

Despite any ulterior motives, however, the company's survey, conducted online with responses from 600 parents Feb. 22 to March 1, still offers a small window to parents' stressed-out souls.

A press release reports 35 percent of parents cite work as the most stressful element in their lives, while 24 percent say finding a trusted nanny or baby-sitter is more stressful than keeping a spouse happy or excelling at work.

"While the White House recently announced the great strides of women in the workplace, this survey shows that the work-life balance for so many working parents remains elusive," Wendy Sachs, editor of Care.com, says in the release. "It's no surprise that moms who are toting buzzing BlackBerries in their bags chock-full of work emails, can feel tapped out and not eager for sex."

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Teen Sex Ed Taught Mostly by Schools, Families, Study Shows

Honey Berk — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 18:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex, Research Reveals: Teens

Girls are more likely than boys to be exposed to information about hormonal birth control. Source: Getty

Ask most parents, and they'll agree it's crucial kids receive accurate, trusted information about sexual issues.

But while you might assume teens are getting their sex ed from "Jersey Shore" reruns or naughty online sites, schools and family are the most common and trusted sources when it comes to contraceptive and sexual health information.

According to a study published this week in the Journal of Adolescent Research, a majority of teens will have sex by age 18, putting them at risk for unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Previous research reveals the main sources of sexual health information to be school, friends and parents -- with media, romantic partners, health care providers, siblings and the Internet also playing a role. But previous studies only paint a partial picture, the researchers say.

The results of this study were based on interviews conducted in 2008 with 58 high school juniors and seniors recruited from three racially and ethnically diverse public high schools of different sizes -- one in Indiana and two in New York City -- each of which had a very different approach to sex education.

Overall, most of the teens interviewed said they had been exposed to information about contraception at school, from family members and from friends -- which is consistent with previous studies. Strikingly, less than one-third of teens said they had received some type of contraceptive information from a doctor, according to the findings.

Nearly all of the students exposed to a comprehensive sex education program said they received information about contraception at school. Meanwhile, at the schools with less extensive sex education, teens recalled much more superficial information.

Many students said they were dissatisfied with the information they received at school.

"I think that they should really cover things like birth control because they don't really say a lot about that," a 17-year-old girl from Indiana (who was a virgin) told the researchers. "They say use a condom, pretty much. And I think they should use more talk about birth control; say what kind of options are available and what are the side effects and risks to the person taking them."

Most of the teens said they trust the information they receive at school because teachers have fact-based knowledge or expertise about sexual health and are responsible for educating teens.

Only a few students said they had not received any information at school about condoms, birth control or safe sex.

Most teens said they received contraceptive information from family members, but there were gender differences. Girls were more likely to receive information about hormonal methods, while boys most commonly received superficial information about condoms in what the authors refer to as "safe sex sound bites."

"Well, um, my dad told me one time to be careful, and my mom basically said the same thing in a different way. So they basically know, but, just only be careful, basically," a 19-year-old boy from a New York school (who was sexually experienced) told the researchers.

Most teens had discussed contraception with their friends, and said contraception is promoted and encouraged among friends. Many boys said their friends advocated using condoms or used condoms themselves. However, the teens said they were skeptical of at least some of the sexual health information they got from friends.

Asian girls were more likely than girls of any other race or ethnicity to say they had not received any contraceptive information from family members; they were also less likely to discuss sexual issues with their friends.

The researchers also found:

Slightly more than one-third had talked with a boyfriend or girlfriend about contraception.
More than one-third said they were exposed to contraceptive messages in television and movies, but most commonly as part of a storyline and not as a source of new information.
Books and magazines were seen as sources of factual information about contraceptive information; girls reported this more often, citing magazines like CosmoGirl and Seventeen.
Only slightly more than one-third said they had been exposed to contraceptive information on the Internet, and they were more likely to distrust than trust the information found online.

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Northwestern University To Investigate Class' Sex Toy Demo

Associated Press — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 09:19:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex, Education: Teens

CHICAGO (AP) - Northwestern University found itself at the center of a furor Thursday after a sexuality professor known for racy lessons allowed students to stay after a lecture to witness a couple using a mechanized sex toy.

The school's president promised an investigation after news of the demonstration appeared in local media reports and set off a blizzard of comments on social networking sites.

"I am troubled and disappointed by what occurred," President Morton Schapiro said. "I feel it represented extremely poor judgment on the part of our faculty member."

The demonstration took place on Feb. 21 after professor John Michael Bailey's human sexuality class, which focused that day on kinky sex. Bailey, a popular professor who teachers what some students say is one of the university's most popular classes, often ends sessions with an invitation for students to stay after regularly scheduled lectures to hear from sex therapists, swingers, transgender women and others.

According to students and one of the participants, Bailey had invited a guest lecturer named Ken Melvoin-Berg, the co-owner of a group called Weird Chicago Tours, to discuss bondage and sexual fetishes.

Also there to answer questions were a man named Jim Marcus and his fiancée, Faith Kroll, who, according to student Justin Smith, was introduced as an exhibitionist "turned on by the thought of sex acts in the nude in front of large groups of people."

Students were warned repeatedly that they were about to witness explicit material and that they could leave. Smith and another student, 22-year-old Nicholas Wilson, said most of the students left to get to their other classes. Those who stayed saw a movie, and the couple, concerned that the film contained misinformation, asked if they could give a live demonstration with a mechanical device.

"The main guy (Melvoin-Berg) said, 'Are you ready for a sex show?'" said Smith. He said the professor repeated to students that if they were uncomfortable, they should leave. Most of the roughly 100 students didn't go anywhere.

"If you stay, don't complain later," Smith said Bailey told the class.

Within seconds, Kroll had taken off all of her clothes except a bra, climbed on stage and lay down on a towel as Marcus operated the motorized device.

Students said they could not see very much because the couple was fairly far back on the stage and Marcus was in the way.

But, said Wilson, "A fair number of people tried to get a better view."

Marcus, an acquaintance of Melvoin-Berg, said he was surprised that the demonstration had created such a stir, though he added that the outcry illustrates a larger point.

"People say it's not necessary to demonstrate sex acts," he said. "That's one of the things that's kept research in some of these areas hobbled, there is a squeamishness about this conversation."

Human sexuality classes often include the showing of graphic and explicit films, and are offered at several universities. Bailey did not respond to an e-mail message asking him to comment, and his voice mail box at the school was full Thursday afternoon.

But in a message that was posted by the university's newspaper, The Daily Northwestern, he defended his decision to allow the demonstration, saying it was relevant to the day's discussion of kinky sex.

"The demonstration, which included a woman who enjoyed providing a sexually explicit demonstration using a machine, surely counts as kinky, and hence is relevant," he wrote.

But he also seemed to recognize that he might have gotten himself into some trouble.

He wrote that as he watched the demonstration, "I was worried that there could be repercussions that would threaten the valuable speaker series that I have built over the years."

Schapiro, NU's president, said that many members of the Northwestern community were disturbed by the incident. And university officials said they had received many emails from upset parents and alumni.

"I simply do not believe this was appropriate, necessary or in keeping with Northwestern University's academic mission," Schapiro said.

Copyright 2011 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, rewritten, broadcast or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. This article was written by DON BABWIN, AP Writer. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.

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College Basketball Player Suspended for Violating BYU Honor Code; Should Codes Matter?

Brett Singer — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 11:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex, Teen Culture

BYU has suspended Brandon Davies for the rest of the season for violating the school's honor code. The university announced the move March 1, 2011. Credit: Isaac Brekken, AP

College basketball is a big deal, especially in March. (March Madness, anyone?) So the fact that Brigham Young University player Brandon Davies was suspended for having sex out of wedlock must have been frustrating to BYU fans. Especially since the team quickly lost their first game without him, according to published reports.

At first glance, I said, "Suspended for premarital sex? That's stupid." But BYU has an honor code that demands students remain "chaste and virtuous." According to BYU's website, you have to ask permission to grow a beard. So it's not like Davies didn't know he was doing something that would get him in trouble. (Unless he was drunk. But I'm guessing that's a violation of the honor code as well.)

BYU coach David Rose said that he thinks Davies will play for the team again in the future. Personally, I think that when you sign something called an "honor code," you should, well, honor it. Even if you are a really good basketball player.

So what do you think? Do student honor codes matter? Or should they make exceptions sometimes?

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The Sex Talk: Study Offers Tips for Talking to Kids

Tom Henderson — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 14:45:00 EST

Filed under: Sex

There are effective and various ways for parents to talk to their kids about sex. Credit: Getty Images

You want to talk about sex? Fine.

Never have it. Ever. OK, maybe after you get married. Your mother wants grandkids. But don't go nuts. Try to confine yourself to leap years.

There you go. Case closed. Glad we can have these little talks. If you want to talk again, September looks good for me. Check back with me then.

OK, class, what did the parent in this scenario do wrong? According to a study just published in the journal Pediatrics, just about everything.

Researchers looked at the effectiveness of various ways parents talk to their kids about sex.

They advise talking to kids early and often. Don't spread out the conversations. And use anatomically correct terms. You should also tell kids the truth and not lecture or judge them.

Radical concepts, all.

Note the tinge of sarcasm there. It's because even though these ideas seem like common sense, a surprising number of 21st century parents still approach the sex talk like Victorian school marms.

That's why the study is important, Dr. Aletha Akers, an obstetrician and gynecologist at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, tells MSNBC. There remains a lot of ambiguity about what works -- and what doesn't -- when it comes to discussing the birds and the bees.

The study looked at parents who had gone through certain intervention programs and found they emerged with superior communication skills. They have better conversations with their kids and were comfortable talking about sexual issues.

"It appears the interventions are effective at improving parent's ability to communicate, specifically things like frequency of communication and comfort for communicating," Akers tells MSNBC.

Terri Fisher, a psychologist at Ohio State University who has studied how parents tell their children about sex, tells the network this is a "a first attempt to make sense of a messy area of research."

She particularly likes the advice of parents talking to their kids about sex early and often.

"If they have regular and open and nonjudgmental conversations at various ages, when kids are adolescents and have some serious questions, they're going to be much more likely to ask the parent," Fisher tells MSNBC.

She also agrees that parents should use anatomically correct terms. When parents use slang terms, she tells the network, "it gives a message that there is something about this part of the body that is shameful or bad or different from every other body part. Many little children think that 'penis' is a bad word."

Fisher adds parents also should tell the truth -- both to their kids and themselves.

"Don't make up some fantastical tale about where babies come from," she says. However, honesty also applies parents. They shouldn't kid themselves, Fisher tells MSNBC.

"Telling an adolescent not to have sex is not likely to be an effective approach," Fisher says. "Parents tend not to be very good at knowing whether their own adolescent kids have engaged in any sexual activity or not."

Parents, she adds, "can share their own values without condemning people who don't share their values."

The moral of the story is that talking to kids frankly and frequently is important, Fisher tells MSNBC. However, it is not all important.

"Parent-child communication about sex is important, but often its effects are overstated," Fisher tells the network. "Talking to one's teenagers about sex is not necessarily going to discourage those teenagers from having sex, but it does make it more likely that if those teenagers end up having sex, they will do so in a more responsible way."

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Would You Let Your 17-Year-Old Daughter Date an NFL Player?

Brett Singer — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 10:22:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex, Teen Culture

Even if Mark Sanchez did date a 17-year-old, it's legal, so why do we care? Credit: Al Bello, Getty Images

New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez may have had a romantic relationship with a 17-year-old high school student, according to the sports blog Deadspin. Sanchez allegedly met this young lady at a club, they exchanged numbers, did some texting and so on. Again, this is an alleged romantic relationship, and that according to published reports, it would be a legal one in New York state.

Let's talk about this issue from a parenting perspective. In my opinion, it is extremely icky for a man over the age of 18 to date a a high school student, even if it is legal. Still, it's not uncommon. Deadspin points out that Jerry Seinfeld was dating Shoshanna Lonstein when she was 17. Seinfeld was in his late 30s at the time, Sanchez is 24. Age matters. Assuming the story is true, I think that Sanchez at best showed poor judgment. But, playing devil's advocate for a moment, let's look at it this way: If it isn't illegal, who are we to judge?

But we're parents. So legal or not, it's different. Would you let your 17-year-old daughter date an older man?

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Valentine's Day Ideas: Date Night Plans for Parents

Jessica Samakow — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Love & Sex, Places To Go, Sex, Relationships

Rekindle the romance with a date night in your living room. Credit: Getty Images

Another February 14th is rolling around and you've done the candle-lit dinner routine about a thousand times. You can't just jet off to Rome while the kids are in bed upstairs, but there are a few things you can do to spice up your Valentine's Day.

1. Make a carpet picnic: If you're still burried in two feet of snow like most of the country, an outdoor picnic is out of the question. So, move it inside!

Spread out on a blanket and surround it with lots of candles.
Make a heart-shaped pizza or choose another heart-shaped treat.
Select a recipe from a cookbook that you have never tried. Shop for the ingredients and prepare together.
Don't forget the wine!

2. Play truth or dare: Challenge your spouse to a game of truth or dare. Use this online truth or dare tool to find exciting ideas ranging from G to X rated!

3. Lock lips: Try to set your own kissing record and see if you can beat it next year. The longest recorded kiss was 33 hours, set by two men! If you get tired, feed each other some chocolates.

4. Get romantic: Make a playlist of all the loves songs that remind you of each other and listen to it while relaxing in front of a fire. Go through this list together and see how many you know. Or, take turns reading the best Valentine's Day poems to each other.

If you planned ahead, register to have a star named after your partner and try to locate it together. Cliche? Maybe. Romantic anyway? Definitely.

5. Taste test: Gather samples from this list of aphrodisiac foods. Take turns blindfolding each other, feeding each other, and guessing what you're being fed. If the kids wake up and walk in on you, just tell them you were playing hide-and-go-seek!

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Communication May Be Key to Improving Family Life, Survey Shows

Honey Berk — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 14:15:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex

A little communication may go a long way toward improving your family life. Credit: Getty

If you feel like you spend most of your precious time at home arguing and yelling at everyone around you, you may be right.

Communication between partners is a major cause of discord at home, with nearly one-third of married parents saying poor communication or disorganization causes arguments with spouses about scheduling and household responsibilities, according to a new survey of married U.S. adults by family calendar and organization service Cozi.

The issue doesn't just cause problems between spouses; the findings also suggest that poor communication causes parents to lose quality time with their kids. In fact, 40 percent of married parents estimate more than half the time with their children is spent clarifying information about scheduling, nagging them to do various chores and discussing logistical issues.

Communication issues can cause so much tension between partners that nearly one in five spouses surveyed say they've considered divorce because of them, and more than half say communication issues strongly impact their sex life.

But there are ways to help smooth things over at home and make family time more relaxing.

Try empowering your kids so they take more responsibility for their lives and family tasks. Help them get organized so they can remember their own dates for school work and put together a schedule so they can get through their morning routine without being nagged.

While you're at it, set up a chore list so your kids can do what they're supposed to without being told. If you expect more from your kids around the house, it helps take the burden off of you so you spend less time helping with the basics, Cozi's experts say.

With couples, the survey revealed that often it's the actual topic of communication that needs to be changed, saying too much time is spent on mundane subjects. In fact, the top two reasons couples say they communicate are to let their spouse know about a change in their or a child's schedule and to ask a spouse to pick up items from the grocery store.

Saying "I love you" and making romantic plans were listed as the least common reasons for communicating with a spouse.

To help alleviate problems around scheduling and logistics, Cozi suggests keeping a family schedule in one place. Also, try holding a family meeting. Though it might seem strange to have to schedule a meeting with your family, this is one area where work tactics may be the best way to go.

Editor's note: This article was updated on Feb. 10, 2011.

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How Parents Can Use MTV's 'Skins' as a Jumping Off Point

the editors at Common Sense Media — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 16:00:00 EST

Filed under: Sex, Teen Culture, TV

Use MTV's controversial show "Skins" to discuss difficult topics with your kids. Credit: MTV/AP

MTV's teen drama "Skins" (a remake of the even edgier British series) showcases every behavior that keeps parents of teenagers up at night. Actors the same age as your own kids are up there on the screen talking like your teens, playing roles that your teens will recognize from their peers in high school, and doing things that you don't want them to do. Ever.

Talking to your teens frankly about "Skins" will be a challenge even for seasoned parents who've managed to pull teachable lessons out of "The O.C." and "Gossip Girl". That's because by the time they're 16 and 17, parents' role in their teens' lives migrates from Commander in Chief to Chief Consultant. Parents lose control over them -- which is scary, but also normal and healthy -- as they separate from Mom and Dad and become more independent.

That said, we can't give up being their parents, which means we have to have increasingly difficult conversations about all kinds of things that neither we nor our teens particularly want to talk about -- all of which are modeled in this show.

Acting on the assumption that it's easier to talk about tough things when you're discussing a third party, try these talks to help address some of the raw issues the show raises.

Sex: These kids are having it, and they're treating it as a commodity. This isn't how we want teens who are on the cusp of their own sex lives to see this most intimate act. Talk about how sex can and should be between two loving people. Also mention birth control and sexually transmitted diseases.

Pornography and masturbation: These are really difficult topics, but one of the main characters is deeply engaged in both. We can't kid ourselves: Online porn is a fact of our teens' lives ... and, at this age, so is masturbation. We urge you to discuss these uncomfortable topics rather than leave it to your teens to figure them out on their own. Talk about how some online porn is so horrendous that it can absolutely corrupt teens' images of what sex is. And even the less horrible porn still shows girls as sex objects. Teens of both sexes have to hear that acting like a stripper isn't the way to make meaningful connections. We want young men to value young women, and we want young women to value themselves. Porn showcases neither. As for masturbation, think and say what you will, but know that it's developmentally appropriate for older teens.

Invincibility: Teens have trouble thinking that rules apply to them. And when they see teens they can relate to getting away with everything short of murder, it reinforces the sense that their actions are consequence-free. Pick a scene -- any scene -- from "Skins" and talk about what the real-life fallout would be.

Treating girls as sexual objects: In our culture, girls have become so sexualized from the earliest ages that this is a really tough topic. But it's essential that both boys and girls learn to treat girls as sexual beings, not objects. This is something that girls may not even understand, since they get rewarded with attention by wearing sexy clothing and behaving in risqué ways. But we want our kids to have meaningful relationships. And those are founded on self respect and respecting others. Use a scene from "Skins" to show how both the boys and the girls are selling girls short.

What's "cool": Is it drinking? Drugging? Having sex, blowing off teachers, disrespecting parents, seeing parents as idiots, making fun of others? "Skins" doesn't gloss up these behaviors the way that "The O.C." and "Gossip Girl" did; they're presented extremely realistically. And the teens in the show are the same age as your own kids, acting out the same roles that your kids see in their schools every day. In the black-and-white world that is high school, you're either cool or you aren't. What are your kids willing to trade -- their honor, respect, trust, values, self-esteem? -- to be part of the "in" crowd.

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Get more information for parents on media and technology by checking out Common Sense Media.

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Oral Sex in 2nd Grade? Apparently So at a California Elementary School

Tom Henderson — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 13:40:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex

Second-graders stripping naked and having oral sex in the middle of class?

"If the reports are true, there was a serious lapse of judgment or lack of supervision in the classroom," Troy Flint, a spokesman for California's Oakland Unified School District, tells the Associated Press.

Surprisingly, few people disagree.

Children learn basic school rules on the first day of class. No running in the hall. No pushing in the lunch line. No oral sex while the teacher is trying to read "Charlotte's Web."

Yet, a second grader at Markham Elementary School in Oakland told school officials she saw some of her classmates doing a lot more than sitting in a tree and K-I-S-S-I-N-G. The 7-year-old girl spoke of two incidents, ABC News reports, one that included some of her classmates stripping and another where two kids allegedly had oral sex.

The network reports school officials and police officers are investigating the charges.

School Principal Pam Booker sent a letter to parents and staff last week, informing them of "a disturbing event which, according to initial findings, took place at Markham Elementary recently."

Booker added that the teacher is on administrative leave and will not be returning to class while the investigation is under way.

Reports conflict on whether the teacher was in the room when the alleged incident took place. The grandmother of the girl who reported the incident tells ABC New she doesn't think the teacher was present, but school officials tell the network they're not so sure.

Regardless, parent Nikki Turner tells ABC News, "the teacher should have paid more attention to what's going on."

Allen Saunders, who has a nephew in the class, blames the parents for the children's alleged behavior.

"They learn that at home," he tells the network. "They don't teach that at school."

Pediatrician and child abuse expert Dr. Jim Crawford tells ABC News what people should be most concerned about is the children themselves.

"My concern would be maybe something happened to one or more of the kids involved and that they're responding in this type of behavior because of what happened to them," he tells ABC News.

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Is MTV's 'Skins' Straddling Child Pornography Laws?

the editors at PopEater — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 11:10:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex, Teen Culture

James Newman portrays Tony, right, and Sofia Black-D'Elia portrays Tea, in a scene from the adolescent drama "Skins," on MTV. Credit: AP Photo/MTV

Although the British seem to do it better, we copy it just as well -- and in this case, a little too well. With the latest Brit TV series, 'Skins,' making it across the pond and landing on MTV, Americans are getting more than an eyeful of gratuitous teenage sexuality in all of its glory.

But American teens better TiVo the first two episodes before network execs force producers to tone down the heavy petting and nudity. The show has been labeled by some -- including The New York Times -- as a flagrant display of child pornography.

Featuring scenes that simulate masturbation, sex and drug use, it sounds like just another day at the 'Jersey Shore.' But MTV's other scandal-saturated reality shows all feature actors/reality stars who are at least 18 years old. 'Skins' boasts a bevy of fresh-faced actors, some as young as 15.

The third episode, set to debut on Jan. 31, follows Chris, played by Jesse Carere, who, after experimenting with erectile dysfunction pills, runs down the street naked, exposing his 17-year-old bum. The episode spawned a vehement reaction from the Parents Television Council, who called the show the "most dangerous program that has ever been foisted on your children." Now it's set to be toned down before it airs.

'Skins' carries a rating of TV-MA (meant for those above 17 years old) and scored killer ratings with its premiere episode, but the Times cites analysts saying at least 1 million of the new 'Skins' enthusiast viewers were under 17.

With allegations of violating child pornography statutes, it seems as though the notoriously envelope-pushing network will not be able to keep up with the show's original plot lines (the premiere American episode was almost identical to its British original) that British audiences enjoyed. The U.K. is famously more accepting of televised eroticism.

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Sexting: A Primer

the editors at Common Sense Media — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 17:17:00 EST

Filed under: Sex, Teen Culture, Social & Emotional Growth: Teens, Behavior: Teens, Expert Advice: Teens

We hope our children's photos are this innocent. Credit: Getty Images

Most teens today are comfortable with documenting their lives online. Posting photos, updating their status messages, sharing rapid-fire texts, and being a click away from friends are the new normal for teens. But this "always on" culture also creates an environment where teens can make impulsive decisions that can come back to haunt them. One example of this has been in the news a lot lately: sexting.

When people take and send sexually revealing picture of themselves or send sexually explicit messages via text message, it's called "sexting." While experts differ on statistics, a 2010 study conducted by Pew Internet & American Life Project confirms sexting is a teen reality that's here to stay. Kids "sext" to show off, to entice someone, to show interest in someone, or to prove commitment.

Sending these pictures or messages is problematic enough, but the real challenge comes when this content is shared broadly. As far too many teens have found out, the recipient of these messages is in possession of a highly compromising image or message that can be easily posted on a social networking site or sent to others via email or text.

Why sexting matters

In a technology world where anything can be copied, sent, posted, and seen by huge audiences, there's no such thing as being able to control information. The intention doesn't matter -- even if a photo was taken and sent as a token of love, for example, the technology makes it possible for everyone to see your child's most intimate self. In the hands of teens, when revealing photos are made public, the subject almost always ends up feeling humiliated. Furthermore, sending sexual images to minors is against the law, and some states have begun prosecuting kids for child pornography or felony obscenity.

There have been some high profile cases of sexting. In July 2008, Cincinnati teen Jesse Logan committed suicide after a nude photo she'd sent to a boyfriend was circulated widely around her high school, resulting in harassment from her classmates.

Fortunately, networks with large teen audiences -- MTV, for example -- are using their platforms to warn teens against the dangers of sexting. And the website ThatsNotCool.com uses teen-speak to help resist cyber peer pressure. Hopefully, these messages will get through.

Sexting Stats

* 22% of teen girls and 20% of teen boys have sent nude or semi-nude photos of themselves over the Internet or their phones.

* 22% of teens admit that technology makes them personally more forward and aggressive.

* 38% of teens say exchanging sexy content makes dating or hooking up with others more likely.

* 29% of teens believe those exchanging sexy content are "expected" to date or hook up.

(All of the above are from CosmoGirl and the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2009.)

Advice for Parents

* Don't wait for an incident to happen to your child or your child's friend before you talk about the consequences of sexting. Sure, talking about sex or dating with teens can be uncomfortable, but it's better to have the talk before something happens.

* Remind your kids that once an image is sent, it can never be retrieved -- and they will lose control of it. Ask teens how they would feel if their teachers, parents, or the entire school saw the picture, because that happens all the time.

* Talk about pressures to send revealing photos. Let teens know that you understand how they can be pushed or dared into sending something. Tell them that no matter how big the social pressure is, the potential social humiliation can be hundreds of times worse.

* Teach your children that the buck stops with them. If someone sends them a photo, they should delete it immediately. It's better to be part of the solution than the problem. Besides, if they do send it on, they're distributing pornography -- and that's against the law.

* Check out ThatsNotCool.com. It's a fabulous site that gives kids the language and support to take texting and cell phone power back into their own hands. It's also a great resource for parents who are uncomfortable dealing directly with this issue.

Get more information for parents on media and technology by checking out Common Sense Media.

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Parents Worry Where Kids Are Learning About Sex, Study Says

Tom Henderson — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 13:30:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex, Research Reveals: Tweens

Do you want Kim Kardashian teaching your kids about sex? Credit: Jon Kopaloff, FilmMagic

The doorbell rings. It's Kim Kardashian.

And she's packed into a largely hypothetical outfit from Frederick's of OMG! "Well, heeellooo," she purrs Kardashishly.

OK, cowboy, you know where this is leading.

And, sure enough, "Is your 12-year-old son home?" she asks. "I want to teach him about sex."

Noooooo!

You wake up screaming. But don't worry. So do a lot of parents.

Researchers collected some numbers and found 98 percent of parents want to teach their children about sex, but the majority worry kids are learning about the birds and the bees elsewhere.

The Center for Advancing Health reports most parents believe their kids get the bulk of their information about sex from the media and popular culture (60 percent) or from friends (78 percent).

Kids, however, insist they turn more to their parents than the Kardashians.

"Youth indicate that parents are a primary source of sex information for them and that parents most influence their decisions about sex," study co-author Debra Bernat of Florida State University says in a news release.

Researchers interviewed 1,605 parents of school-aged children in Minnesota. The data raises the question "of why youth cannot get the information that they seek -- and prefer -- from their own parents," Nancy Irwin, a Los Angeles clinical psychologist and cognitive behavioral specialist who focuses on childhood and adolescent sexuality, says in the release.

"This should be a wake-up call to parents. You and your kids want the exact same thing. What's missing are the proper tools," she adds.

So tell that Kardashian woman to put on some clothes and get a real job. You have to go talk to your kids.

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Young Adults With STDs Swear Abstinence, Study Says

Mary Beth Sammons — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex, Research Reveals: Teens

Did I use a condom? I don't know how I got that STD, Doc. I don't even have sex. Credit: Getty

"Nope." "No." "Never."

Young adults being treated for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are swearing to their docs that they're clueless as to what could have caused their outbreaks.

New research suggests lab results speak more powerfully about what's really going on behind the scenes in the sex lives of young adults who report abstinence but are being treated for sexual diseases, the Washington Post reports.

The researchers, in a study published in the journal of Pediatrics, say the discrepancies between STD positivity and self-reported sexual behavior point to the increased need for screenings for chlamydia, gonorrhea and trichomoniasis to reduce the potential of STD morbidity among young adults.

Of 14,000 young people studied (with a mean age of about 22 years), researchers say 10 percent reported they had never had sex in the previous 12 months, according to Pediatrics.

And 60 percent of that 10 percent said they'd never had sex at all.

But, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's 2006-2008 National Survey of Family Growth, 40 percent of teens between the ages of 15 and 19 have had sex at least once.

Across the country, some health officials have called for mandatory STD screenings. Last March, the health department in New London, Conn., called for STD screenings for teenagers from eighth grade through 12th grade in schools in New London and Groton, according to the local news station WFSB.

Officials there claimed there was an epidemic of STDs infecting Connecticut teenagers, particularly girls, the local TV station reported.

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Switzerland Debates Legalizing Incest

Jessica Samakow — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 18:06:00 EST

Filed under: Relatives, In The News, Sex

Will incest become legal in Switzerland? Credit: Fabrice Coffrini, AFP/Getty Images

Swiss parliament may be giving a new meaning to the term "brotherly love." They have drafted a law that would repeal incest laws so that family members could have sex, if they so pleased.

Some claim incest laws are obsolete because there have only been three cases in the past three decades, The Telegraph reports.

Daniel Visher, a Green Party MP, is in favor of the law. "Incest is a difficult moral question, but not one that is answered by penal law," he told The Telegraph. Pun intended? We're not sure.

The Protestant People's Party and The Christian People's Party of Switzerland are on the opposite side, claiming incest should remain punishable. Who ever said Switzerland was neutral?

A spokesperson for The Protestant People's Party points out the obvious, "Murder is also quite rare in Switzerland but no one suggests that we remove that as an office from the statutes."

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Should the Birth Control Pill Be Free?

Brett Singer — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 10:12:00 EST

Filed under: In The News, Sex, Teen Culture

Are birth control pills preventative medicine? Credit: Getty Images

Under the new health care laws, birth control pills could be free for college students. The question is whether or not the pill is considered "preventative medicine." Newsweek reports that the Department of Health and Human Services is expected to render a decision on the matter in August.

Some students are all for free birth control pills. After all, student health centers have been handing out free condoms for years. George Washington University freshman Jessi Payton points out that, just because her fellow classmates aren't taking the pill, "that doesn't mean they aren't having sex." Joy Welborn, one of Payton's classmates, disagrees, telling Newsweek that "If you are going to have sex, you need to be adult enough to fund contraception yourself."

What do you think? Do you think the birth control pill should be free for college students?

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