ParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.comParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.com/media/feedlogo.gifParentDishhttp://www.parentdish.comen-usCopyright 2012 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only.Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/British PM Cracks Down on Sexualization of Children ... Politelyhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/06/british-pm-cracks-down-on-sexualization-of-children-politely/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/06/british-pm-cracks-down-on-sexualization-of-children-politely/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/06/british-pm-cracks-down-on-sexualization-of-children-politely/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

Sexualization of Children

Under the proposed legislation, retailers would be asked not to sell salacious so-called "lad's mags" in brown sleeves. Credit: Getty Images

The sexualization of children in Great Britain must stop!

Pretty please?

The London Guardian reports Prime Minister David Cameron backs legislation designed to get tough on people who would sexually exploit children. However, he says change must come through being "social responsibility, not state control."

So, under the proposed legislation, retailers would be asked not to sell salacious so-called "lad's mags" in brown sleeves. Members of the Advertising Standards Authority would consider ways to discourage billboards near schools. Oh, and music videos would be rated.

Originally, businesses had 18 months to clean up their acts. Or else.

The Guardian reports Cameron has decided that was a bit hasty. Now, according to the newspaper, he appears to want to drop the iron fist entirely and just keep the velvet glove.

The proposals are the result of an independent report by Reg Bailey, chief executive of the Mothers' Union, a Christian charity.

"I very much agree with the central approach you set out," the Guardian quotes a letter from Bailey to Cameron. "As you say, we should not try and wrap children up in cotton wool or simply throw our hands up and accept the world as it is. Instead, we should look to put 'the brakes on an unthinking drift toward ever-greater commercialization and sexualization.' "

Bailey recommends banning the sale of "sexy" clothes and T-shirts with suggestive slogans. He also urges the government to take legal action if guidelines are not followed.

The Guardian reports Cameron doesn't endorse any specific recommendations and stops short of putting any sharp teeth in the law.

"I note that many of the actions you suggest are for business and regulators to follow rather than for government," the Guardian quotes from his letter. "I support this emphasis, as it consistent with this government's overall approach and my long-held belief that the leading force for progress should be social responsibility, not state control."

Nonetheless, the power of the British empire is not be trifled with either. The government is setting up a Website where parents can complain if they feel a program, advertisement, product or service is inappropriate for their children.

Take that, you blaggards.

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]]>Sexualization British Prime Minister David Cameron Laws ExploitaSexualization of ChildrenTom HendersonMon, 06 Jun 2011 16:30:00 ESTFree to Be ... Not Anymorehttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/25/free-to-be-not-anymore/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/25/free-to-be-not-anymore/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/25/free-to-be-not-anymore/#commentsFiled under: , ,

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free to be

According to current statistics, one out of every four teenagers across America is bullied in their neighborhoods and schools. Credit: Getty Images

Just how many dead teenagers, driven to end their own lives, is it going to take for adults to stand up and say, What the hell is going on? There was a time when the words "Free to Be" embodied a hope that whatever a kid was, was good enough. But "freedom" doesn't describe the world of this generation. Or of their parents. One of those parents wrote to me on my Facebook page.

"Hi, Marlo," wrote Kevin Jacobsen of New York. "Our son Kameron was bullied relentlessly and committed suicide on January 18th. He was 14. In lieu of flowers, we asked for donations to go to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, my mom's favorite for decades. I know you're busy, but just wondering if you could take a look at our son. We have nothing else to lose."

He then posted the link to a website he'd built to honor his son, called KindnessAboveMalice.org. I logged on, but could barely look at the child's face. He was beautiful.

Thirty-seven years -- and two generations of children -- after the creation of Free to Be... You and Me, I can't help but remember the beautiful words lyricist Bruce Hart wrote that anchored the opening anthem:

"Every boy in this land grows to be his own man, In this land, every girl grows to be her own woman."

Kameron will never grow to be his own man.

For all the walls we thought we'd broken down with Free to Be -- and all the stereotypes we thought we'd shattered -- children today are not free to be anything they want to be, nor anything they are, and they are dying for it. And no beautiful lyric can fix that.

According to current statistics, one out of every four teenagers across America is bullied in their neighborhoods and schools; 160,000 students stay home from school every day because of their fear of being bullied; and each month, nearly 300,000 students are physically attacked inside their secondary schools.

Online, things are even worse: 43 percent of kids are cyber-bullied, while 53 percent admit to having said something mean and hurtful to another kid online.

Then came that tragic September -- 2010 -- when over a period of just three weeks, nine gay or questioning youths -- all male, average age 15 -- were "bullied to death," committing suicide, no longer able to endure the never-ending harassment from their peers.

Like many people, much of what I know about bullying is what I read in the headlines: 15-year-old Irish migrant Phoebe Prince of Massachusetts, hangs herself in the stairwell of her family apartment, after yet another day of relentless bullying. The harassment continued on her Facebook memorial page. Or just this month, 14-year-old Ambriel Bowen of York, Pennsylvania, commits suicide at home when the daily terrorizing by bullies -- which included two black eyes and a broken nose -- becomes too overwhelming to bear.

Reading the horrid accounts of bullied kids is devastating. But hearing the voice of a bereaved father brings tears to your eyes

I called Kevin Jacobsen after I read his Facebook post and my heart broke as he recounted his son's tragic story.

"Bullying is not the same old issue it used to be," Kevin said, softly. "With cell phones and social networking, it's turned into an around-the-clock problem that our kids cannot escape from. And the other thing that's different is that the bullies can be anonymous. And without that face-to-face encounter, it's impossible to stop them."

When I hung up with Kevin, I re-read his post, and seeing his mention of St. Jude made me think about how different the children are there. I've seen compassion, not cruelty, for each other. I've seen four- and five-year-old girls and boys offering hugs and giving comfort to two- and three-year-olds, telling them that they understand the pain they're going through, and that they will be alright.

So the idea that healthy children should die, not from an errant cancer cell, but because of the abject malice of another child, is something we need to take on. And stop.

Kevin Jennings, the assistant deputy secretary at the Department of Education, told me that most parents of bullied children have no idea about the anguish their sons and daughters are enduring, because the kids aren't talking. They're ashamed to admit it, because they think it's a sign of weakness, and they want to handle it themselves.

But if more parents would get into the game, Jennings said, we might be able to turn things around. He told me that the majority of parents haven't been trained to look for signs of bullying in their child's life. But they need to. And they can start by asking themselves a few questions:

  • Does your child not want to ride the school bus any more?
  • Does your child often wake in the morning complaining about stomach aches and asking to stay home from school?
  • Are your child's friends not coming around so much any more?
  • Has your child stopped receiving invitations to parties?

Most important, said Jennings, is if you suspect your child is being bullied, you must become proactive, and try to get that child to talk.

And I think we all have to start to talk.

If there's one thing I've learned over the years about tackling problems, it's that the first thing you need to do is spark the conversation. So let's start talking about bullying. With our neighbors. With our friends and family. With fellow parents at PTA meetings. And with each other -- right here. Let me hear what you think. It's time to take bullying down.

In the meantime, if you're worried that a child in your life might be a victim -- or is, in fact, the bully -- there are some helpful thoughts at such websites as stopbullying.gov. I'm sure there are countless other sites, and I'd like to know about those, as well. We don't have the time -- or any more kids' lives -- to waste.

It's been nearly four decades since the debut of the Free to Be message. But I 'm hopeful that, together, we can realize that place that Bruce Hart imagined where:

"Every boy in this land grows to be his own man,
In this land, every girl grows to be her own woman."

A land where the children are free... from bullying.

How to Prevent Bullying

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]]>bullyingfree to bemarlo thomas on bullyingthe editors at MarloThomas.comWed, 25 May 2011 07:00:00 ESTFacebook Can Lead to Depression in Adolescents, Report Sayshttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/28/facebook-depression/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/28/facebook-depression/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/28/facebook-depression/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

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facebook can cause depression in adolescents

Facebook depression is common among teens. Credit: Getty Images

Just when you think you've got the whole social media thing covered with your tween or teen, a new tech-related monster rears its ugly head.

As if sexting and cyberbullying weren't enough for parents to worry about, now "Facebook depression" joins the list of things to fret over.

This new phenomenon is identified as depression that kicks in after adolescents spend a lot of time on social media sites, leading to classic symptoms of depression, according to a new report on social media and children released today by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

Viewing a constant stream on Facebook that includes happy, boasting status updates and photos of your peers having a great time can make kids feel worse about themselves, the Chicago Tribune reports.

"It can be more painful than sitting alone in a crowded school cafeteria or other real-life encounters that can make kids feel down, because Facebook provides a skewed view of what's really going on." Gwenn O'Keeffe, the report's co-author, tells the Tribune. "Online, there's no way to see facial expressions or read body language that provide context."

Kids who suffer from online depression are at risk for social isolation, just as with offline depression, and may turn to risky Internet sites and blogs for "help" -- which may encourage substance abuse, unsafe sexual practices or self-destructive or aggressive behaviors, the researchers say.

This phenomenon is of critical importance in light of the significant increase in the number of kids using social media sites over the last five years. In fact, the study says, social media use is now one of the most common activities of children and adolescents.

Recent statistics show that 22 percent of teenagers log on to their favorite social media site more than 10 times per day, and more than half of teens log on more than once a day, according to the report. In addition, 75 percent of teens now have cell phones, with 25 percent using them for social media, 54 percent for texting and 24 percent for instant messaging.

With this in mind, the researchers say a "large part of this generation's social and emotional development is occurring while on the Internet and on cell phones."

The reports notes that social media can benefit kids, saying it can "enhance communication, facilitate social interaction and help develop technical skills." Social media also can help adolescents identify volunteer opportunities, augment traditional classroom learning methods and even help shape their sense of identity.

"But because tweens and teens have a limited capacity for self-regulation and are susceptible to peer pressure, they are at some risk as they engage in and experiment with social media," the report states.

Tweens and teens can sometimes find themselves on sites and in situations that are not age-appropriate, the authors note, adding that unhealthy offline behaviors frequently find their way online now, with bullying, cliques and sexual experimentation cropping up online as cyberbullying, privacy issues and sexting.

Other problems that can often result from extensive social media use include Internet addiction and sleep deprivation, the researchers note.

"Some young people find the lure of social media difficult to resist, which can interfere with homework, sleep and physical activity," O'Keeffe says in a news release.

O'Keeffe says parents need to understand how their child is using social media so they can set appropriate limits.

And, although many parents are tech savvy and have a presence on many of the same social media sites as their children, some parents may still find it hard to relate to their kids online.

To help families find their way through the social media landscape, the AAP recommends parents do the following:
  • Talk to children and adolescents about their online use and the specific issues that today's online kids face, such as cyberbullying, sexting and difficulty managing their time.
  • Work on their own "participation gap" in their homes by becoming better educated about the many technologies their children are using.
  • Develop a family online-use plan, with an emphasis on citizenship and healthy behavior.
  • Supervise online activities via active participation and communication, not just via monitoring software.
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]]>adolescentsdepressionfacebookfacebook depressionfacebook+and+depressionfacebookanddepressionsocial mediasocial networkingteen depressionteenstweenstwitteryoutubeHoney BerkMon, 28 Mar 2011 14:00:00 ESTSmackDown: Should Parents Drug Test Their Kids?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/24/drug-tests/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/24/drug-tests/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/24/drug-tests/#commentsFiled under: , ,

drug tests kids

Is drug testing your kids a deterrent or a sign that you're not paying attention as a parent? Illustration by Dori Hartley


Drug Testing Kids in the Comfort of Home is So Not Comforting


by Dori Hartley

How do you know if your children are on drugs?

Look in their eyes. The eyes tell all.

Before purchasing that home drug test, understand that making your child submit to a test not only raises a red flag telling him you don't trust him, it's also humiliating for both of you.

Peeing into a cup is no picnic, but handing over your steaming hot specimen to Mom is downright icky.

Drug use shows itself in its user. And the only way you'd be justified to test your own kid is if you truly are blind to whom your child is. You either know your kid or you don't. And, if something is "different" about your child, chances are, you're going to perceive it.

Home drug testing is just another excuse for parents to become further removed from their children. If your kid is using, you'll know it way before the testing stage is necessary.

You don't need a test, you need a conversation.

Marijuana smoke, like cigarette smoke, is smelly. If you suspect your child is smoking, put your nose in his clothing and hair. There's no hiding the inescapable stench.

Pills affect speech. Amphetamines cause users to speak rapidly, often times with a dry mouth. Painkillers, which cause grogginess, can make people slur their words. Listen to your kid's speech.

And one thing no drug users get away with is what they reveal in their eyes: pin-pointed pupils, black hole dilation or just good old fashioned, stoned-out redness hidden behind sunglasses.

Ask your kid to take those shades off and take a look to see what's in front of you. A drug user will lie, but the drugs themselves are incapable of deceit. No amount of Visine can effectively hide "the look" one gets after indulging in any drug.

I know "the look." I grew up during the 1970s, a time in history when drugs were everywhere. On weekends, my wannabe-hippie, New York City parents would bring me to the peace and love mecca of all drug-abusing hubs -- Bethesda Fountain in Central Park.

We saw and smelled the clouds of marijuana smoke that hovered above the crowds, as bongos and congas pounded out eternally long versions of "Oye Como Va" and "Witchy Woman."

People smoked their hash pipes out in the open, unafraid of being busted. In their inebriated trances, they would dance naked, and, on occasion, someone would mount a statue and tell the world (in slow motion) how beautiful we all were, courtesy of the delusion given them by a widely used hallucinogen called LSD.

We watched Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin die from alcohol and heroin abuse. We saw the hippies at the fountain and we saw the stoners at school. We knew what it looked like, and it was all there, easily seen in the eyes.

The lesson? Pay attention to your children. Look for subtle changes. Communicate and ask them about their lives, their world. Get to know your kid, if you haven't already.

The question of whether or not we should perform home drug tests is really only the beginning of a series of questions that need to be asked. Because, if the results come back positive for drugs, the real question becomes: What are you going to do about it?

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.


Teens Will Be too Scared to Try Drugs If They Know You're Testing Them


by Jessica Samakow

From a young age, kids are conditioned to fear the dreaded time-out punishment.

"Share your markers or else you'll be put in time-out," they're told.

So, it's no secret that kids who then share their markers are doing so in order to avoid a time-out, not because they feel a moral obligation to lend the purple to their friend.

And, so, it makes sense that when it comes to testing teens for drugs, a similar precedent should prove to be just as effective.

Yes, it's true: When someone is high, the signs often are visible. The blood-shot eyes, the mad dash for munchies -- you've seen it all before.

However, relying on your own intuition to catch your kids in the act isn't as fool-proof as you'd like to think.

Face it: Your teen thinks you're naive. She knows your plate is full with a three-page to-do list. And she's not afraid to try sneak past you, burning red eyes and all.

And, if she does manage to hide her highness successfully, she's golden -- confident enough to try it again and again.

If teens want to do drugs, the small chance of being caught is not enough to stop them. But, if they knew you were going to drug test them on Friday, you better believe they'd think twice before lighting up that joint.

Being a teen not so long ago myself, I know the fear of getting caught is one of the biggest deterrences for kids who are hesitant to try drugs.

My friends who watched their older siblings receive a minor slap on the wrist for coming home high were the first ones to experiment themselves.

Other friends whose parents threatened to pull them off their athletic teams, or dole out other harsh punishments, were not so quick to get high, however.

If teens know they will be tested, and, therefore, definitely will be caught if they are guilty of doing drugs, they will be too scared to test the waters in the first place.

Plus, when their friends are pressuring them to give drugs a go, they can say "I can't, my parents test me," as an excuse.

They may be teased for having lame parents, but they won't be teased for being "lame" themselves.

I'm not saying every teen should face a weekly drug test -- for many it's unnecessary. But, if you do suspect that your teens may be involved in drugs, testing them is a sure way to find out -- and to stop them from doing it again.

Of course, you want your teens to make smart decisions on their own and choose not to experiment with drugs because of the morals you've instilled in them -- not because they're afraid they'll get caught.

But, when it comes to drugs, "learning the hard way" is not the best policy.

In this case, the "hard way" potentially can be deadly.

If you fear your teen is involved with drugs, stop her from using now, by means of drug testing, if necessary.

Let the morals come later.

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]]>drug testingDrugTestinghome drug test kitsHomeDrugTestKitsteen drug testingDori Hartley and Jessica SamakowThu, 24 Mar 2011 12:00:00 ESTWhen 20-Somethings Move Back Home, It's Not Such a Horrible Thing, Study Sayshttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/18/when-20-somethings-move-back-home-its-not-such-a-horrible-thin/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/18/when-20-somethings-move-back-home-its-not-such-a-horrible-thin/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/18/when-20-somethings-move-back-home-its-not-such-a-horrible-thin/#commentsFiled under: ,

It's OK if they move back in! Credit: Getty Images

If you happen to look out your window only to find a moving van backing up into your driveway with your 20-something son hopping out and saying "Hey, Mom, I'm back," you're in good company.

But here's the thing to know: Your kid is not a slacker. And you're not a helicopter landing pad or his maid. You're a safety net.

So says a new study that finds young adults are heading back to the homestead in rising numbers -- and that it's alright, Time magazine reports.

The researchers studied 712 young adults ages 24 to 32 and found that financial help for mid-20-somethings is just a stop-gap, with almost half of them receiving either money, moving expenses or living with their parents.

But, by the time they reached 30, only 10 to 15 percent received help, Time reports.

"Today, the road to adulthood is much longer and more arduous than it was 30 years ago," study author Teresa Swartz says in a in a statement describing the study, which appeared in the Journal of Marriage and Family. "Parental aid serves as 'scaffolding' to help young people who are working towards financial self-sufficiency and as 'safety nets' for those who have experienced serious difficulties."

A growing number of studies have pointed to the rising unemployment and recessionary economic forces that have spiked the trend of young adults moving back home, as well as the rise in extended families living under one roof, Parent Dish reported last September.

More than 49 million Americans -- that's more than one in six people -- live in households with three or more generations, according to a Pew Research study. The percentage is even higher for age groups including 25- to 34-year-olds, and those 65 and older, where one in five, or 20 percent, live in extended families. The study also finds that from 2007 to 2008, the number of Americans living in a multi-generational family household grew by 2.6 million.

The good news: The new study counters criticism that these young adults are indulgent and prolonging their dependence on Mom and Dad, researchers tell Time. Instead, parents are simply responding to the current economic reality, they add.

"In an economy that requires advanced education for good jobs, parents are more likely to aid their children when they are students," Swartz says in the statement. "As the labor market offers fewer opportunities for stable, full-time, well-paid work for the young, parents often fill in when needed."

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]]>boomerang kidsBoomerangKidscollegemoving back homeMovingBackHometeensMary Beth SammonsFri, 18 Mar 2011 13:30:00 ESTCDC: Fewer Teens Having Sexhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/04/teens-sex/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/04/teens-sex/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/04/teens-sex/#commentsFiled under: , ,

teens sex

Credit: Getty Images


Apparently, fewer teens and young adults are having sex, according to a federal study which offers numbers, but doesn't examine the reasons.

Why is it decreasing? "That's the $100,000 question," said Bill Albert, chief program officer for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Some experts say an emphasis on abstinence may have played a role. Some say concern about sexually spread diseases may have been a factor -- perhaps instilled by parents who watched the AIDS crisis unfold. Still others suggest this is a generation of kids who are less inclined to experiment with drugs and sex than their predecessors.

The study, released Thursday, is based on interviews of about 5,300 young people, ages 15 to 24. It shows the proportion in that age group who said they had had some kind of sexual contact dropped in the past decade from 78 percent to about 72 percent.

There are other surveys of sexual behavior, but this is considered the largest and most reliable. "It's the gold standard," Albert said.

Health scientist Anjani Chandra of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention described the decline in sex as small but significant. She declined to speculate on the reasons. It's difficult to look for a trend earlier than 2002 because previous surveys did not gather as much detail about various types of sex, she added.

However, data over the years on vaginal intercourse among never-married adolescents shows a steady decline since 1988. That seems to be in sync with other CDC studies showing an overall drop in teen pregnancy.

That the trend began in the late 1980s seems to undermine the idea that abstinence-only sex education -- heavily emphasized during the 2001-2009 presidency of George W. Bush -- is the explanation, Albert said.

But it is possible those messages contributed, he added.

The leading influence on sexual activity among young adults is what parents teach and what peers are doing, experts said. And for whatever reason, smaller proportions are "doing it" than in the past.

Still, the CDC report may be surprising to some parents who see skin and lust in the media and worry that sex is rampant.

"Many parents and adults look at teens and sex and see nothing but a blur of bare midriffs. They think things are terrible and getting worse," Albert said.

The sex study looked at older adults, too. It was based on in-person interviews of about 13,500 men and women ages 15 to 44, conducted in the years 2006 through 2008. The results were compared with those of a similar survey done in 2002.

Participants were offered $40 for sitting for the interview, which usually lasted an hour and included answering very specific questions on a computer about oral sex, anal sex and other sexual activities.

Among other findings:

-- More than half of young people who had oral sex said they did that before vaginal intercourse; that pattern was much more common in whites than blacks or Hispanics.

-- Among young adults, the proportion who had had vaginal or oral sex declined. But the proportion who had anal sex held steady, at about 21 percent.

-- For all ages in the study, women were more than twice as likely to have had sex with a same-gender partner than men were. That was true despite the fact that about the same proportion of male and female survey respondents described themselves as homosexual.

The explanation for that finding seems to be that women are much more willing to describe themselves as bisexual, or to at least acknowledge they find others of their gender attractive.

That may have a lot to do with television shows and other pop culture, which at times seems to celebrate woman-on-woman sexual contact, but not the same kind of behavior among men, said Michael Reece, director of Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion.

"My guess is women are just more likely to feel that's OK," he added.

There is an assumption that sex between females is more common among more educated women, perhaps experimenting with their sexuality during their college years. But the CDC study found that such behavior was more common among less educated women, Chandra said.

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]]>teen sexTeenSexthe editors at AOLHealthFri, 04 Mar 2011 10:30:00 ESTSchool Officials Often React Poorly to Student Suicides, Experts Sayhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/25/student-suicides/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/25/student-suicides/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/25/student-suicides/#commentsFiled under: , ,

teen suicides

The outpouring of grief over a suicide could be seen as glorifying the person who completed suicide, which may cause other teens to think they want all that attention. Credit: MTC



When a teenager commits suicide, schools usually become the nexus of information and counseling for the affected community.

However, in responding after a student's suicide, many school officials actually do or say things that send the wrong messages to students and may even make copycat suicides more likely, according to Paul Granello and Darcy Haag Granello, co-authors of "Suicide, Self-Injury and Violence in the Schools."

While school administrators operate under the best of intentions when reacting to a student's suicide, the best course of action is actually "counterintuitive to our cultural norms," say the authors.

"We naturally want to have ceremonies and memorials, flowers at the fence and burning candles," Paul Granello says in a news release. "But when you do this in the case of a suicide, it sends the wrong message to troubled youth who might also be contemplating suicide."

This outpouring of grief could be seen as glorifying the person who completed suicide, which may cause other teens to think they want all that attention, he says. For this reason, schools should also avoid holding memorials or cancelling classes, and should only hold discussions about mental health or suicide in small classroom groups, not large assemblies.

Adults can also send the wrong message when they talk about a suicide; for example, when they say the student killed himself to "end the pain."

"What a dangerous message that is for young people," Darcy Granello says. "It tells them that suicide is the way to end pain. But suicide is never that simple. There is never a direct line from some bad things happening to someone to a choice to complete suicide."

Adults should instead convey to students that "suicide only transfers the pain from the person who killed him or herself to a whole community who is now in pain," she says.

School officials should also refrain from discussing specific details of the suicide, Paul Granello says.

"Instead of focusing on the suicide itself, focus on what help if available and how people are responding to the grief. The focus should be on the community response," he says.

But adults shouldn't be afraid to talk to teens about suicide, or even ask troubled students if they are thinking about suicide, according to Darcy Granello.

"There's a lot of research that shows that talking about suicide appropriately actually reduces the risk -- it doesn't increase it," she concludes.

Here are some other steps schools should take after the suicide of a student:

  • Compile a list of students who may be at risk for suicide and remind staff about the risk factors and warning signs.
  • Contact community support services, such as local mental health agencies, other school counselors, community crisis hotline agencies and clergy members.
  • Arrange a meeting with parents.
  • Provide them with warning signs for adolescents who may be suicidal.
  • Provide information about supportive services available to students at the school and in the community.
  • Provide information about how to respond to students' questions about suicide.
  • Meet with students in small groups in the classroom.
  • Make sure teachers announce the death of the student during their first class of the day.
  • Describe the deceased as "having died by suicide" rather than as "a suicide" or having "committed suicide."
  • Disclose all relevant facts, but do not provide morbid details like method or exact location of the suicide.
  • Allow students an opportunity to express their feelings. "What are your feelings and how can I help?" should be the mantra behind the structure of discussion.
  • Inform students of the available support services in the school (and outside the school) and encourage them to use the services.
  • Establish support stations or counseling rooms in the school.
  • Reschedule any immediate stressful academic exercises or tests if at all possible.
  • Avoid flying the school flag at half-mast in order to avoid glamorizing the death.
  • Follow up with students who are identified as at-risk and provide ongoing assessment and monitoring of these students (follow-up should be maintained as long as possible).

For a more complete list and additional information on youth suicide prevention in schools, view the Youth Suicide Prevention School-Based Guide posted online by the Florida Mental Health Institute.

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]]>mental healthMentalHealthschoolsstudent+suicidesstudentsuicidessuicidesuicide preventionSuicidePreventionteen suicideTeenSuicideHoney BerkFri, 25 Feb 2011 11:30:00 ESTTry This: How Do You Punish a Teenager?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/01/try-this-how-do-you-punish-a-teenager/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/01/try-this-how-do-you-punish-a-teenager/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/01/try-this-how-do-you-punish-a-teenager/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,



Your rebellious teenager is acting up and you know that banning dessert or giving timeouts won't work anymore.

So, now what?

When it comes to disciplining teens, taking away electronics, like cell phones and iPods, seems to be a growing trend.

But, is banning Facebook really an effective punishment method as well? Healthguidance.com recommends implementing related punishments so that the punishment does, in fact, fit the crime.

Also, punishments should be practical so that your teen knows you are serious. Threatening to never let her out of the house again just isn't going to fly, and your teenage daughter knows it. Choose a punishment that you can follow through on and your budding adult will be more likely to follow your rules.

What have you done that works?

Looking for family meal ideas? Get tips from other parents at KitchenDaily.

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]]>AdvertiserTue, 01 Feb 2011 14:02:00 ESTSmackDown: Should You Let Your Teen Get Plastic Surgery?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/27/teen-plastic-surgery/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/27/teen-plastic-surgery/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/27/teen-plastic-surgery/#commentsFiled under: , ,

teen plastic surgery

If your teen doesn't feel pretty, does that justify plastic surgery? Illustration by Dori Hartley


Let My Kid Get Plastic Surgery? Not on My Watch

by Jo Parente

Recent news: A 15-year-old girl hates her appearance. She's being taunted about her nose, so she tries to break it by banging her face against a door. Her mother allows her to have plastic surgery and believes her daughter's self-esteem is much improved. Problem solved.

Uh, I doubt it. The ugliness here was never this child's (perfectly average) nose. The ugliness is the self-hatred that compelled her to try to crush her own face.

How did this young woman get to this point? What role did the school play in this? Who might she have become as an adult, had her parents insisted upon and helped her map a no-surgery route to healing her profoundly damaged self-worth?

We won't know. She won't know.

What happens when the bullies decide to start in on her ears? Or her breasts? Or her rear? Maybe the bullies simply stick with "fat" or "ugly." Then what?

It scares the hell out of me to see cosmetic surgery becoming a socially acceptable "quick fix" for poor self-esteem in the teen years. The numbers of teens flocking to plastic surgeons are mounting. "Nearly 90,000 teenagers had cosmetic surgery in 2007, and doctors say the numbers are growing," Good Morning America reports.

But at what cost (besides the already high price tag of elective surgery not covered by a family's health insurance)?

Let's put aside the scientific fact that the human body is not finished growing and shifting and setting until approximately 18 years of age. Let's even set aside the very real, very serious health risks of going under the knife (infection, scarring, blood clots, complications with anesthesia, death).

The average 15-year-old still has to be reminded to apply sunscreen and do her homework. The average 15-year-old is not a long-term thinker.

Ask a 15-year-old who smokes why she does it, and she might tell you it's easier than saying no. It feels good. Same goes for underage drinking, drugs, or sex. We were teens once. We know the drill. Teens like to feel good right here and right now, even when the long-term consequences are appalling. The quick fix is king.

It's not my job as a mother to teach quick fixes. It's not my job to keep my child happy at all costs. Life, quite frequently, sucks. The trick is to learn the tools to minimize the suck and maximize the beauty -- not the kind you find in a magazine.

It's my job to teach my child tools for sustainable, long-term living. I refuse to OK an otherwise healthy child's wish to drastically and permanently alter her appearance with a surgical procedure. This is in no way a sustainable, long-term method for dealing with haters. Bullies will come and go. It's my job to teach her to love and live with the one beautiful, unique constant: her.

As an adult, she can decide if surgery is the best option for her. I'll support her choice then, either way. But the bullies don't get to win this round, not while she's on my watch. Her self-hatred doesn't get to win this round, either. I support my child by not supporting her wish for a quick fix.

I'm talking elective surgery on children who are still barely grown into their bodies. I have no issue with cosmetic surgery for kids who've been in horrible disfiguring accidents, or reconstructive surgery for cleft palates and various birth defects. And I can certainly understand the desire and the wish to protect one's child from any unwanted attention, from any cruelty or bullying. My older daughter has a birth defect and subsequent scarring of her arm that's caused stares and unpleasant comments from children (and ignorant adults) since she was a month old. If she wanted reconstructive surgery, insurance would pay for it.

So far, she doesn't want corrective surgery. At 10, she says, "My arm is part of what makes me who I am. If somebody makes rude comments, it's kind of annoying. But it makes it a lot easier to see who my real friends are."

She may have a different take on it in five years. But her sense of self has already been tested, and she's passed her own test, not someone else's. Her "defect" has been a remarkable asset, an invaluable lesson in accepting herself, as-is.

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Nothing Wrong With Kids Going Under the Knife

by Jo Kidente

From the time I was about 13, the question wasn't if I was going to get a nose job, the question was when.

My "sob story," however, isn't exactly in sync with the typical teen-plastic-surgery-tale we often hear on talk shows. I wasn't bullied. No one called me Pinocchio. No one made me cry. No one even called me ugly.

But, when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a massive bump on my nose. It was the focal point of my face and it was the focal point of my thoughts. I was self-conscious all of the time.

In conversation, I would always try to maneuver so that the person was looking at me straight-on, since my profile was really the killer. God forbid I was ever the victim of a candid photo taken from the side, I'd rip the picture to shreds.

I read every "tips and tricks to make your nose look smaller" article in every beauty magazine I could find. But, the reality was, no amount of grey eye shadow or fancy shading technique would visibly reduce the size of the honker on my face.

I didn't need bullies to make me feel badly about myself; all it took was the mirror. I didn't feel feminine and I didn't feel pretty.

My mom constantly tried to boost my confidence. She told me (and still tells me) that I am beautiful, and she always made sure I knew how perfect I was. According to her, I'm not just smart, I'm brilliant. I'm not just able to carry a tune, I'm the next American Idol. The list goes on.

But, she couldn't lie to me. She couldn't say, "the bump on your nose is barely noticeable," because again, the mirror held the truth. All she could do to make me feel better was allow me to fix the problem. So, the solution was simple: Get a nose job.

And when I was 15, I did.

The reactions I got from my friends ranged from outraged to supportive. I heard the classic: "it only matters what's on the inside," countless times. My theory is that there are two kinds of people who say that:

1. People who are generally attractive and don't know what it's like to feel unattractive.
2. People who are helplessly unattractive -- so they say it to make themselves feel better, but secretly wish they were a contestant on "Extreme Makeover."

Of course, the inside does matter. But, appearance certainly weighs on confidence and anyone who denies that is only lying to themselves. It isn't superficial -- it's human nature.

Another popular reaction I got was that I should be happy with what God gave me, and that I shouldn't alter my appearance.

Not to spark a religious debate, but God didn't give me my nose. Unfortunate genetics and a family history of large noses gave me my nose. I am almost certain that there is no higher power who placed a bump on my nose for some deeper meaning that us humans cannot understand.

To those naysayers I responded, "Oh, I shouldn't alter my appearance? Then you shouldn't either -- quit waxing your eyebrows and let that unibrow grow in."

Obviously, plastic surgery is riskier and more expensive than eyebrow waxing, but the principle is the same: We all want to look good and feel about about ourselves. The only difference, is that my insecurity couldn't be fixed with a strip of wax.

When the bruises healed, so did my ego. Suddenly, sunglasses shopping became fun and my camera phobia disappeared. The mirror was no longer my enemy. I don't wake up everyday thinking about how awesome my nose is, but even better: I don't think about it at all.

My nose does what it's supposed to do now: It blends in with my face ... and smells things.

I know that I am so fortunate to have parents who could afford the surgery and supported me both financially and emotionally. For that, I am beyond thankful. So, if I become a parent, I will have the same attitude on the subject that my parents did. I can only pray that my kid isn't cursed with my pre-surgery nose. Although, praying won't do any good, because, of course -- God has nothing to do with it.

Jo Parente and Jo Kidente are ParentDish noms de plume, or pen names, used by female members of our editorial team when we want to spill our dirty little secrets but still keep our dignity, and families, intact.

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]]>plastic surgeryPlasticSurgeryteen plastic surgeryTeenPlasticSurgeryJo Parente and Jo KidenteThu, 27 Jan 2011 12:00:00 ESTLooking for Next Semester's Elective? Think Journalismhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/18/looking-for-next-semesters-elective-think-journalism/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/18/looking-for-next-semesters-elective-think-journalism/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/18/looking-for-next-semesters-elective-think-journalism/#commentsFiled under: , , , , ,

Whether it's Introduction to Journalism, Newspaper, Yearbook or Video Production, a class that gets your teenager involved in the art of interviewing and writing under deadline -- like a regular Barbara Walters or Anderson Cooper -- is sure to nurture invaluable skills. And, by being on a media production staff, your teen might even find that ever-so-needed niche in the swirl of a big campus.

Take Yvonne, one of my students from a few years ago. As a freshman, she was short, overweight, bespectacled, quiet and a C student -- your typical wallflower. A semester spent in a beginning journalism class gave her the writing bug, though, and she soon began to shine as an interviewer.

When an assignment required someone to interview the principal on the dress-code policy, gang vandalism and homecoming preparations, Yvonne was all over it. By senior year, she was editor-in-chief of the school paper and an A student. Not only had her circle of friends grown (she organized staff jaunts to Jack-in-the-Box after putting the latest issue to bed, for instance, but her self-confidence as a writer improved, as well. Her English teachers noticed this change and named her the outstanding graduate in language and literature for that year.

Elective classes such as journalism and media production compete for students' time with old standbys including art, band, drama, chorus, or the latest computer programming trickery. Teachers, myself included, almost have to resort to bribery to recruit students into their classes. Kids often snub journalism, thinking they lack the writing and photography skills needed, or fearing it will be too hard. On top of that, adults often give journalism in today's society a bad rap, assuming all media distorts and sensationalizes the news.

But I'm here to tell you -- and your kids -- that media classes rock. Here are a few reasons why:
  • You get to carry a digital voice recorder, or go old-school and stick a reporter's notepad in your back pocket.
  • You get to wear a media pass and roam campus. Oh, the places you'll go ...
  • You often carry and use a high-end digital camera or a Flipcam and learn how to edit your soon-to-be masterpieces.
  • When you ask principals and staff for an interview, they might actually smile and agree to it because it might be their most pleasant student interaction all day.
And, on the more serious side:
  • You will work as part of a team to create a product that will be seen by hundreds, if not thousands, at your school, whether the product is a newspaper, yearbook or newscast. Your media class buddies will probably be your closest friends because of the amount of time spent together in class and after school, meeting deadlines.
  • You will gain skills that could lead to a career in print, online or broadcast journalism.
  • Even if a journalism career is not your aim, a media class will guide you in learning how to write with precision, clarity and balance. You will learn the importance of accuracy and objectivity whenever you observe a situation and have to tell a story about it later.
  • Journalism isn't just about the five Ws and the H (who, what, where, when, why, how). It compels you to judge what is and isn't news and to consider ideas such as privacy and defamation of character. In other words, journalism promotes critical thinking skills, which students today need to tap into more often.
  • You will be engaged in the kind of pure and simple journalism that our founding fathers found so vital, they instituted press freedom in the First Amendment. How's that for old school?
  • Through your photography and videography, you will capture moments in time that might otherwise be lost: the touchdown that capped a winning season, the student protest against the dress code, the classroom presentation that brought tears to a teacher's eyes.
  • You will gain computer and software skills as you type stories, edit photos, design pages, edit videos and more.
  • If you rise to be an editor or director, you will have an excellent credential for college applications.
  • Throughout your stint in a media class, you will be the eyes and ears for all that's going on at your school, recording stories for posterity. Some stories will be less important than others; but some stories will beg for more discussion on blogs and social networking sites -- fueled by you and your classmates. There's a very good chance that a story will catch the attention of mainstream media, and just think: the world would not have known about these stories if not for your role as citizen journalist.
As for the impact of a media production class on your student's school life, the Association of Schools of Journalism and Mass Communication put it this way in a 2008 statement: "... those with student media experience get better high school grades overall, outscore others on ACT tests and earn higher grades in college."

So, stop by your school's media production labs sometime. You will be impressed by not only the high-spirited camaraderie and teamwork, but also by the learning environment.

Like Yvonne and so many other of my former students, you just might find -- sharing hamburgers or pizza or sodas late into the afternoon as you meet a deadline -- that journalism is your thing.

Just for fun, here's another view on the journalism business!


Deborah Ross writes about art, health, lifestyles and education from Phoenix, where she has lived for more than 30 years. She is a former reporter and copy editor for the Arizona Republic and is the co-author of the first edition of The Insiders' Guide to Phoenix, part of a national travel series. She spent 10 rewarding years in public education, as an English teacher and adviser to her high school's newspaper and yearbook students.

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]]>Deborah RossTue, 18 Jan 2011 09:00:00 ESTSexting: A Primerhttp://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/13/sexting-a-primer/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/13/sexting-a-primer/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/13/sexting-a-primer/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

secting

We hope our children's photos are this innocent. Credit: Getty Images

Most teens today are comfortable with documenting their lives online. Posting photos, updating their status messages, sharing rapid-fire texts, and being a click away from friends are the new normal for teens. But this "always on" culture also creates an environment where teens can make impulsive decisions that can come back to haunt them. One example of this has been in the news a lot lately: sexting.

When people take and send sexually revealing picture of themselves or send sexually explicit messages via text message, it's called "sexting." While experts differ on statistics, a 2010 study conducted by Pew Internet & American Life Project confirms sexting is a teen reality that's here to stay. Kids "sext" to show off, to entice someone, to show interest in someone, or to prove commitment.

Sending these pictures or messages is problematic enough, but the real challenge comes when this content is shared broadly. As far too many teens have found out, the recipient of these messages is in possession of a highly compromising image or message that can be easily posted on a social networking site or sent to others via email or text.

Why sexting matters

In a technology world where anything can be copied, sent, posted, and seen by huge audiences, there's no such thing as being able to control information. The intention doesn't matter -- even if a photo was taken and sent as a token of love, for example, the technology makes it possible for everyone to see your child's most intimate self. In the hands of teens, when revealing photos are made public, the subject almost always ends up feeling humiliated. Furthermore, sending sexual images to minors is against the law, and some states have begun prosecuting kids for child pornography or felony obscenity.

There have been some high profile cases of sexting. In July 2008, Cincinnati teen Jesse Logan committed suicide after a nude photo she'd sent to a boyfriend was circulated widely around her high school, resulting in harassment from her classmates.

Fortunately, networks with large teen audiences -- MTV, for example -- are using their platforms to warn teens against the dangers of sexting. And the website ThatsNotCool.com uses teen-speak to help resist cyber peer pressure. Hopefully, these messages will get through.

Sexting Stats

* 22% of teen girls and 20% of teen boys have sent nude or semi-nude photos of themselves over the Internet or their phones.

* 22% of teens admit that technology makes them personally more forward and aggressive.

* 38% of teens say exchanging sexy content makes dating or hooking up with others more likely.

* 29% of teens believe those exchanging sexy content are "expected" to date or hook up.

(All of the above are from CosmoGirl and the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2009.)

Advice for Parents

* Don't wait for an incident to happen to your child or your child's friend before you talk about the consequences of sexting. Sure, talking about sex or dating with teens can be uncomfortable, but it's better to have the talk before something happens.

* Remind your kids that once an image is sent, it can never be retrieved -- and they will lose control of it. Ask teens how they would feel if their teachers, parents, or the entire school saw the picture, because that happens all the time.

* Talk about pressures to send revealing photos. Let teens know that you understand how they can be pushed or dared into sending something. Tell them that no matter how big the social pressure is, the potential social humiliation can be hundreds of times worse.

* Teach your children that the buck stops with them. If someone sends them a photo, they should delete it immediately. It's better to be part of the solution than the problem. Besides, if they do send it on, they're distributing pornography -- and that's against the law.

* Check out ThatsNotCool.com. It's a fabulous site that gives kids the language and support to take texting and cell phone power back into their own hands. It's also a great resource for parents who are uncomfortable dealing directly with this issue.

Get more information for parents on media and technology by checking out Common Sense Media.

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]]>sextingthe editors at Common Sense MediaThu, 13 Jan 2011 17:17:00 ESTIs Bieber Fever Hazardous to Mental Health?http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/is-bieber-fever-hazardous-to-mental-health/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/is-bieber-fever-hazardous-to-mental-health/http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/05/is-bieber-fever-hazardous-to-mental-health/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Justin Bieber picture

Do you have Bieber fever? Credit: Chris Polk/KCA2010/Getty Images for KC

Parents of tweenage girls, Twitterers, trend-watchers-and the rest of the world, probably-know all about Justin Bieber, the 16-year-old pop sensation who appears to have sprung fully-formed from the Canadian heartland to take America by storm. And those with more than a passing interest and access to the Internet likely know that the teen star has been linked to the latest in a string of young women, the singer Selena Gomez, who is 18. Recently, the Web was aflutter over pictures of the two on a Caribbean vacation, apparently locking lips. Innocent fun, right? Free of consequences? Not when the "Beliebers" get you in their sights.

In fact, the combination of "Bieber fever" and Twitter has turned lethal -- at least verbally, as some fans have actually issued death threats targeted at Gomez. And while the anonymity of the Internet cloaks the age of these posters, they are likely young girls and adolescents. Take your pick of shocking posts:

o. "@selenagomez I'll kiII you I swear on GOD!!!!"
o. "@selenagomez stay away from Justin ped0phile, retard wait i'm gonna kiII ya in the night underneath your smelly bed"
o. "@selenagomez whore cancer whore..like i'mm kiII myself cuz i saw you and Justin kissing well thankyou Selena thankyou now i'm kiIILing myself"

Death threats? Slurs? Suicidal language? Why would our children type these things? Sadly, it's another side-effect of the culture of the Web: Just like teens bully their peers even more viciously online than in real life because the consequences aren't immediately apparent, children and adolescents in the virtual world are quicker and more outrageous in their anger or despair when faced with a setback. The stream-of-consciousness spewing of raw feeling has, unfortunately, become accepted as a form of authenticity. As if the immediacy of the emotion somehow excuses the virulence of what's being expressed.

Which leads to a another disturbing question: How did our kids get so deeply invested in Justin Bieber's love life? Don't they know he doesn't sing just for them?

Girls today can get incredibly wrapped up in relationships that in reality are nothing but fiction. This is nothing new, of course -- mention Sinatra, Elvis, the Beatles, David Cassidy, Michael Jackson, New Kids on the Block, the Backstreet Boys, and any number of women of every age will recall a youthful infatuation bordering on obsession. And yet today it is different -- young fans have a much stronger illusion of access to their idols, who communicate "directly" to them on their smartphones and iPads via social media. A youngster could be forgiven for thinking that Justin Bieber is, in this virtual universe, reciprocating her affections.

This is just what Bieber's media machine is after. An astute reader of the Huffington Post points out that in some countries in Asia, like South Korea, male pop stars are forbidden from having public romantic relationships to preserve the fiction for their young female fans -- and thus pad the bottom line. This fiction can be dangerous -- sure enough, at a Bieber concert in Australia last year, a number of young fans were crushed in the rush to be near the stage and their virtual beau in the flesh. But the more pervasive danger is emotional -- as evidenced by the virulent outpouring following the Gomez flap. And it's especially worrying because these obsessions are less and less visible to parents.

The days of posters, magazines, and massive CD collections are gone, all disappeared inside the computer, or even the device in a kid's pocket. Endless calls that used to tie up the phone are now silent text messages. And with this increased access -- that Bieber has to his fans, that they have to him, that our children have to the wider community on the Web -- the harmless, if hysterical, crushes of the past now spur open talk of murder and suicide. Another HuffPo commenter makes light of the phenomenon -- in the '80s and early '90s, she writes, "we didn't have 'THE INTERNET,' we had AOL! It was way too slow for us to be totally outraged on the Internet." This joke contains a fairly substantial kernel of truth: The Web is not just a forum, a new method of communication; it amplifies raw emotions, passing rages, and their consequences.

Bieber's mother is reportedly upset with him about the pictures. We don't need to be angry with our kids, but we need to teach them that the rules they know to follow don't magically disappear when they're in front of a keyboard and a screen. We understand that these Beliebers on Twitter probably don't truly feel murderous or suicidal; they're indulging in adolescent exaggeration, and if we heard them say it, we would probably hear it that way. But these kinds of remarks read very differently in print -- you just can't tell online. And remember that when 18-year-old Tyler Clementi killed himself last year, following a heartless prank, he left this message on Facebook: "jumping off the gw bridge sorry."

Knowing the difference between real pain and teen exaggeration is key to monitoring our kids' emotional lives in this digital age, and the only way to do that is to know your child. Be tuned in to her moods; talk to her about her music and her crushes. You want to understand how powerful her interest is, gauge how emotionally involved she is, and know when she's suffering -- even if the object of her affections is someone she's never met. It's not easy; not a lot of parenting in the 2.0 world is. But this is her life. You want to be there for her, even if it seems too silly to be serious. A broken heart is a broken heart, even on the Web.

Alan Ravitz, MD, MS, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute. For more on parenting adolescents, go to childmind.org, which offers advice and a wealth of information on childhood psychiatric and learning disorders.

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]]>justin bieberJustinBieberSelenaGomezDr. Alan RavitzWed, 05 Jan 2011 18:00:00 ESTThis Holiday Season, Let Them Be Kidshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/23/this-holiday-season-let-them-be-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/23/this-holiday-season-let-them-be-kids/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/23/this-holiday-season-let-them-be-kids/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , ,

A woman who attended my workshop took me aside to tell me about her son and his friend. They are 15, and the friend was dealing with some really upsetting issues at home. He felt comfortable and safe at her house and she and her son had taken this boy under their wings. What she found remarkable was that in his overly stressed state, he found refuge in the simplest video games from his youth.

She explored this further and began to closely observe more of her son's friends. She noticed that all of them, when they were relaxed and comfortable, loved to revert to playing the games they enjoyed when they were 10. Her theory is that these boys are under so much pressure to behave older than they feel that it is a complete relief when they can allow themselves to let their hair down and really relax with their friends. And sometimes it makes them feel happy and comfortable to play like kids.

This is true whether your teen is a boy or girl, in middle school or high school, in the "popular" crowd or not ... teens often feel as though they are on a stage performing when they go to school. They feel evaluated and judged, and if they don't measure up they feel worse.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your teen this Christmas vacation is the opportunity to relax and be a kid. When the snow comes, encourage sledding, skating and have the hot chocolate ready. Rent old movies from when they were little. Get out old fashioned games -- even board games. And if they get silly and act like they did when they were 10 -- all the better. To be able to relax that much, to feel that comfortable with family or a few chosen friends is a great gift. Not just this vacation, but anytime.

Your teens have a lifetime in front of them to learn to be an adult. And these days of their youth are fading fast. Help them make a few more memories.

Reprinted with permission from Sue Blaney. Read more of her two-minute parenting tips on PleaseStopTheRollerCoaster.com.

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]]>Sue Blaney From Please Stop The Roller CoasterThu, 23 Dec 2010 18:35:00 ESTMiley Cyrus, Salvia and Parenting in the YouTube Agehttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/21/miley-cyrus-salvia-and-parenting-in-the-youtube-age/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/21/miley-cyrus-salvia-and-parenting-in-the-youtube-age/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/12/21/miley-cyrus-salvia-and-parenting-in-the-youtube-age/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,



Good parenting seems to get new enemies all the time: new drugs, new media, new "role models." This month's culprits: salvia divinorum, YouTube, Miley Cyrus.

The young songstress and provocateur was recently caught on video smoking a bong and quickly dissolving into giggles, a conspicuous lack of coordination, and patter that suggested she was hallucinating. Watchers have concluded that she was probably smoking salvia -- also known as Magic Mint or Sally D -- the most potent psychedelic herb in the world, which happens to only last 15 minutes or so and is undetectable with normal drug tests. In addition to those and a host of other interesting properties, salvia has one that parents might find even more terrifying: It's legal. Happy Holidays indeed.

If you can't wrap your head around that, you're not alone. Many states have banned or regulated the drug, and the video has sparked more talk of similar moves, but the federal government is silent. In any case, it is readily available on the Internet and in head shops, and some reports indicate an explosion in sales following the Cyrus video -- think of it as a "cool, Miley's doing it" effect. And it's not just her; there are scores of videos of young people trashed on salvia on YouTube. We have to face facts: parenting 2.0 isn't just harder, it's different, and the Internet can sometimes be a scarier and more detrimental environment than even the worst street corner.

And Miley's video doesn't make warning kids about the dangers of this drug any easier. She takes a hit, laughs, thinks some other guy is her boyfriend, and wants "some more of that s**t." But the video, like many others on the Web, does not begin to tell the story of salvia divinorum. This is a powerful hallucinogen used by the Mazatec Indians in Mexico for religious rituals going back hundreds of years. It is not a recreational drug; it is not a social drug; it is not a "fun" drug. It is a dissociative psychedelic that can inspire a total separation from reality, terrifying visions, and a feeling that one is dying. On the other hand, it can also inspire very deep spiritual experiences, which is why it has been used so long in religious rituals.

This whole flap does a real disservice to young people: they see that something is "fun;" they find out that it's legal -- and then they end up in a dissociative hallucination that resembles nothing so much as an episode of extreme psychosis, pleasant or unpleasant.

Now, I'm not naïve about drugs, and I don't profess to know if people should or shouldn't take salvia. What I do know is that the adolescent brain -- even Miley Cyrus' brain -- is still developing, and is emphatically not the proper target for any hallucinogen, especially one that may cause immense psychic stress. This is doubly true for adolescents diagnosed with or at risk for psychiatric disorders like bipolar and schizophrenia; for them, hallucinogens can do outsized harm. Sadly, these same adolescents are the ones getting the message that salvia is a party drug -- and their developing brains are also prone to make reckless decisions.

This might seem like an impossible situation: images of a popular young star appearing to have fun while on a legal substance propagated over a vast communications network that the younger generation considers its birthright and raison d'etre. What is a parent to do?

The tools of a parent aren't numerous, but used effectively they can be very powerful. So you do what you can: supervise as best as possible; this not only gives you a window into what's going on in his or her world, but also lets your kid know that you're interested and involved. When children know you care, they'll care about what you have to say.

This brings us to the next point: have a dialogue, be forthright about your concerns, and make sure you listen as much as you talk. In an uncertain and occasionally scary world, a trusting, understanding connection between you and your child can make all the difference. Remember: you can't get rid of salvia, YouTube, or Miley Cyrus. And if a kid wants to play with fire because of poor information and bad role models, there may be little you can do about changing their desires. But you can let your children know that you don't want that for them, and why. If you can make sense to them, they can make the sensible decision.

Alan Ravitz, MD, MS, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute.

For more on navigating the world of adolescence and drugs, go to childmind.org, which offers parenting advice and a wealth of information on childhood psychiatric and learning disorders.

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]]>miley cyrusMileyCyrussalviaDr. Alan RavitzTue, 21 Dec 2010 16:40:00 ESTNew Recommendations for Maternal Depressionhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/25/new-recommendations-for-maternal-depression/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/25/new-recommendations-for-maternal-depression/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/25/new-recommendations-for-maternal-depression/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , ,

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Screening for depression early on can help assure a healthy mom and healthy baby. Credit: Getty Images


Each year, more than 400,000 infants are born to mothers who are depressed, which makes perinatal depression -- depression that occurs during pregnancy or in the first year after birth -- the most under-diagnosed obstetric complication in the United States, according to a report released today by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

Postpartum depression in mothers negatively affects parenting skills and can also alter judgment when it comes to child safety and health issues. It also puts an infant at risk for failure to thrive, attachment disorder and development delays in many areas, including language acquisition, according to the report.

Maternal depression in infancy can also cause a child's increased production of the hormone cortisol at preschool age, which has been linked to anxiety, social wariness and withdrawal. Behavior problems, depression and other mood disorders in childhood and adolescence can also occur more frequently in children of mothers with major depression, the study reports. And, the longer the mother's depression goes untreated, the less responsive her child will be to intervention targeted to preventing developmental problems.

"Addressing maternal depression in a timely and proactive fashion is essential to ensure healthy early brain and child development and readiness to succeed," write the authors.

An estimated 5 to 25 percent of pregnant and postpartum women have from depression, though studies show as many as 40 to 60 percent of low-income mothers and pregnant and parenting teenagers are afflicted, the study reports. And the risk of perinatal depression is increased when there is a family history of depression, alcohol abuse or a personal history of depression.

There are different forms of maternal depression, ranging from "maternity blues" to postpartum depression to postpartum psychosis, the authors note.

Maternity blues is said to affect 50 to 80 percent of new mothers and occurs in the first few days after delivery, with symptoms that include crying, worrying, sadness, anxiety and mood swings. These symptoms usually stop within two weeks after delivery and do not impair function. This type of depression can be treated effectively with reassurance and emotional support, the researchers report.

In contrast, postpartum depression occurs in 13 to 20 percent of women after birth, and produces symptoms that meet the diagnostic criteria for depression -- which is not the case with the maternity blues.

Postpartum psychosis is a serious condition that affects about 1 to 3 mothers out of 1,000 and most often occurs in the first four weeks after delivery. These mothers are severely impaired and may experience paranoia, mood shifts, hallucinations, delusions and suicidal and homicidal thoughts -- which necessitate immediate medical attention and usually hospitalization.

In addressing the problem of maternal depression, the AAP has recognized that the child's primary care provider (PCP) has a unique opportunity to identify the condition and work with families to improve mental health outcomes. The PCP is likely the first medical professional to see the baby and mother after birth, and therefore has very early access and regular, continued access through child care and follow-up visits. The child's PCP can screen for the mother's depression and help her access resources -- family support, therapy or emergency services.

In addition, the AAP recommends that obstetricians advise patients to visit the pediatric practice during the prenatal period, so a relationship with parents can be established early and the pediatrician can be better prepared to address any depression symptoms that may occur after delivery.

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]]>aapamerican academy of pediatricsAmericanAcademyOfPediatricsdepressionmaternal depressionMaternalDepressionpostpartum depressionPostPartumDepressionprenatal depressionPrenatalDepressionstudyHoney BerkMon, 25 Oct 2010 00:01:00 ESTYour Kid Crazy? Don't Worry, It's a Big Clubhttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/14/your-kid-crazy-dont-worry-its-a-big-club/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/14/your-kid-crazy-dont-worry-its-a-big-club/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/14/your-kid-crazy-dont-worry-its-a-big-club/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Is moodiness in teens a medical condition? Credit: Getty Images

Teenagers are nuts.

Tell you something you don't know? Very well. Let's get clinical.

At least one in five adolescents in the United States has some kind of mental disorder that makes day-to-day life a pain in the butt for themselves, those around them or both.

That's not exactly how the National Institute of Mental Health put it. But that's the gist.

And if your kid has asthma or diabetes, watch out. Researchers for the institute claim in the October issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry that those kids are more likely to have more intense emotional and behavior disorders.

But not to worry. Researchers say a high percentage of kids experience some kind of mental disorder in puberty in various shades and degrees.

Kathleen Ries Merikangas and her colleagues at the institute looked at psychological statistics from 10,123 teens ages 13 to 18 across the United States.

One of five teens suffered from disorders such as panic attacks and anxiety disorders (especially in social situations), as well as attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity, depression and general moodiness.

Moody, depressed and hyperactive teens with short attention spans who don't handle themselves well in social situations? Sounds like a nasty case of puberty. Who knows were it will lead. Left untreated they could become ... [just like the rest of the human race.]

And ask anyone in the universe. That species is really crazy.

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]]>mental disordersMentalDisordersteen depressionTeenDepressionteens and depressionTeensAndDepressionTom HendersonThu, 14 Oct 2010 16:00:00 ESTCaution: New Teen Driver, Terrified Parenthttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/caution-new-teen-driver-terrified-parent/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/caution-new-teen-driver-terrified-parent/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/caution-new-teen-driver-terrified-parent/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,




It's easy enough for the folks at AAA to say parents need to spend more time teaching teenagers how to drive.

Sure, let those people hurtle the wrong way down on a one-way street during 5 p.m. rush hour, sitting next to a panicky teenage driver who, let's face it, isn't exactly Albert Einstein even when he does know what the $#@! he's going.

It's scary!

Still, those scolding school marms at AAA say you better go to the store, buy yourself a spine and do your duty. As dangerous as jittery juveniles can be when you're teaching them to drive, imagine what they're like without you there to scream "Ohmigod!" and grab the wheel.

AAA points out that teenagers crash more cars than any group of drivers in the United States. In 2008, according to AAA, 1,368 new drivers between the ages of 15 and 18 died in car accidents.

Parents just don't spend enough time teaching teenagers how to drive, according to a study released by the AAA Foundation just this week.

How do researchers know this? They did a little snooping.

Researchers from the University of North Carolina's Highway Safety Research Center attached dashboard cameras to the cars of some 50 North Carolina families. They also interviewed parents 10 times during the year between kids getting their learner's permits and their actual licenses.

Kids don't get enough experience driving on different kinds of roads with different amounts of traffic and in different situations, researchers concluded. According to AAA stats, about a quarter of fatal crashes involving teens happen between 9 p.m. and midnight.

"A disappointing result was that only 20 percent of the time parents and teenagers were in the car at night, rain and heavy traffic. Eighty percent were found in benign or routine circumstances -- to and from school, to and from church," Peter Kissinger, president of the AAA Foundation, tells ABC News. "Parents need to give additional experience."

Beyond that, parents spend only a pitiful amount of time teaching their kids to drive at all.

Kissinger tells ABC his organization would like to see parents spend at least 100 hours teaching kids to drive. (The majority of states only require 50 hours.)

Almost 70 percent of parents in the study said busy schedules got in their way. No excuse, Kissinger tells ABC, noting that inexperience behind the wheel is the leading cause of most crashes involving teens.

"The best way to learn is to practice with an engaged parent," he says. "Everyone goes through a learning process."

About half of the parents in the study said they didn't feel comfortable being on the road in rain or heavy traffic with an inexperienced teen driver. However, they apparently don't mind other people doing it. Even without experience in bad weather or traffic, about 40 percent of the families still let their kids get licenses when they hit 16.

Talk about scary.

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]]>aaateen driversteen drivingteen driving safetyTeenDriversTeenDrivingTeenDrivingSafetyteens drivingTeensDrivingTom HendersonWed, 13 Oct 2010 17:30:00 ESTSemester Abroad Leads to More Brewskis and Vino for College Studentshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/drinking-in-college/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/drinking-in-college/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/drinking-in-college/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Drinking in college increases when students study abroad. Credit: Getty Images

In the midst of gaining cross-cultural skills, learning a foreign language and garnering a global understanding, college students studying abroad are busy raising their beer steins and vino glasses -- at more than double the rate of their peers back home, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Hey, someone had to help with the research, and 177 students at the University of Washington volunteered to get drunk for the sake of science. The students shared their drinking habits before their international adventures, during their treks and back home (an average of three to five years), according to the newspaper. The findings were published in the journal Psychology of Addictive Behaviors.

The researchers at the University Of Washington Department Of Psychology found, overall, that student drinking more than doubled while abroad, but returned to pre-travel levels when the students came back home. However, the heaviest drinkers drank more when they got back.

Location also was a contributing factor, with international collegiate adventurers in Europe, Australia and New Zealand leading the drinking pack, according to the Times. Additionally, students in Latin America drank significantly more when they returned, compared to pre-trip levels.

Younger students -- those under 21 -- drank less than their older peers before traveling, but once in Europe, they started hitting the brewskis about 170 percent more than their pre-travel days, the Times reports. These younger college students also drank more when they returned, compared with before their trip abroad, where the legal drinking age is below 21.

"The study abroad experience presents both unique opportunities and unique risks for students," study co-author Mary Larimer, director of the Center for the Study of Health & Risk Behaviors, says in a news release. "Working with these students pre-departure is a terrific opportunity to help reduce their risks for drinking consequences while abroad, and may also help prevent difficulties when they return home."

UW graduate student and researcher Eric Pedersen tells the Huffington Post he would expect to get similar results at other universities.

"I don't think this is just a UW problem," says the psychology student, who notes, however, that his study sample included more women than the national average for studying abroad and the students he looked at were more diverse ethnically than the national average.

He tells the Huffington Post his research did not pinpoint why students drink more while they study abroad, but the results don't necessarily indicate binge drinking. Pedersen says a drink or so each night with dinner could add up to the 10 drinks a week European visitors reported on average.

"In general, drinking is an issue on college campuses, " Pedersen tells the website. "When you take that and put it in a foreign country, there's potential for more consequences.

He notes, however, that most students who study overseas, including those who drink, do not get in trouble while they're abroad.

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]]>alcoholcollege and alcoholcollege drinkingCollegeAndAlcoholCollegeDrinkingstudy abraodStudyAbraodMary Beth SammonsWed, 13 Oct 2010 13:30:00 ESTFor Gay Youths, Middle School Can Be Toughest Timehttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/for-gay-youths-middle-school-can-be-toughest-time/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/for-gay-youths-middle-school-can-be-toughest-time/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/13/for-gay-youths-middle-school-can-be-toughest-time/#commentsFiled under: , , , , ,

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High school senior student Isaiah Baiseri, who heads a gay-straight alliance group at his high school, says he started to realize he was gay when he was 11, in the 6th grade. Credit: Damian Dovarganes/AP

NEW YORK (AP) - By the time she was in eighth grade, Rory Mann was so aware of the differences between her and other students that she couldn't bear to enter the cafeteria. Instead, she ate lunch alone on the cold, hard bathroom floor, propped against a wall.

Sometimes Mann, who had known she was gay for about a year but dared not tell anyone, would cut herself on the arms with a razor blade. Her long sleeves hid the evidence of her misery from classmates and family.

"Everyone's trying to figure out who they are in middle school," says Mann, now 18 and a high school senior in Newport, R.I., where she is active in a gay students group.

"They turn into vicious people. They are really insecure, and they exploit someone else's differences so people won't see who THEY are."

With recent stories of anti-gay bullying and tragic suicides of gay youth at the forefront of the national conversation, experts say they are increasingly seeing evidence that middle school is the toughest time for gay youth - a time of intense self-discovery, but also one when bullying and intolerance is at its peak.

Evidence collected over the past few years indicates it's at this age - 11 to 13 or 14 - when many youngsters realize they are gay and consider coming out. Some take the plunge, and some don't. Yet it's a difficult time for such identity struggles, because it's an age when being different feels the most painful.

"We know that kids are much more likely to be cruel-hearted then," says Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and frequent commentator on parenting issues. "They'll pick on anyone who is different. Peer pressure is huge. Kids desperately want to fit in and be included."

Indeed, the rates of violence against gay youth in middle school are almost twice as bad as in high school, says Eliza Byard, executive director of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. She says 20 percent of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender high school students questioned in a 2007 school climate survey reported physical assault, while 39 percent of LGBT middle schoolers reported the same.

And yet the answer is not to stay closeted, says Byard and others.

Her group's 2009 study found that coming out, while obviously making students a target for bullies, is also a hugely positive thing for gay students of any age - correlating with higher self-esteem, lower depression and a greater sense of belonging at school.

The problem, many say, is that middle schools are often woefully unprepared to combat the kind of harassment or bullying aimed at gay students, whether these students are out or not.

"Some teachers have mistakenly thought that if they address these issues in middle school that they're addressing sex, which would be inappropriate," says Carolyn Laub, executive director of the Gay-Straight Alliance Network, a San Francisco-based group that helps students form gay rights groups at their schools.

"People think, 'You can't talk about these issues in middle school.' But that is so far from the truth."

Schools often don't understand the early signs of that sort of harassment, Laub adds.

"A lot if it targets students who are non-gender conforming, for example boys who wear clothes considered stereotypically feminine," she says. "They don't realize it's often not about sexual behavior at that age."

Isaiah Baiseri, a high school senior from Glendora, Calif., says he started to realize he was gay when he was 11, in the sixth grade.

"I already had a girlfriend, a 'kid' girlfriend, but I felt uncomfortable at the thought of holding hands with her," he says. "I was trying to do the straight thing. It just wasn't working out."

It took a gay-themed teen novel, "Geography Club," to bring things home to Baiseri. Even then, it took four more years before he came out. His middle school years were particularly miserable.

"It was a really unhappy time. Middle school in general is unhappy," he says. Peer pressure was intense. In an environment where he always heard the dreaded expression, "That's SO gay," Baiseri felt he needed to keep his sexual orientation quiet to avoid being stereotyped.

The worst part came at the start of ninth grade, when a group of girls he thought were his friends turned out to be mocking him on MySpace.

He was crushed, and says that at the worst moments he considered suicide, though never to the point where he made specific plans. Then he threw himself into his studies. He finally came out the following year, and now heads a gay-straight alliance group at his school.

Experts agree that kids are coming out sooner nationwide.

While national figures are lacking, the Family Acceptance Project, a San Francisco State University-based research group, found in a study of California families conducted between 2000 and 2005 that the coming-out age is now on average 13.4 years, as opposed to 14-16 in the late 1980s to mid-1990s and the 20s in 1970.

Project director Caitlin Ryan says youngsters several decades ago may have sensed they were different but weren't quite able to label it.

Now, she says, they are much savvier, thanks to the vast amount of information available on the Web, as well as TV shows like "Glee," which features an openly gay character at high school and appeals to kids as young as 8 or 9.

"Forty years ago there was no openly gay Oscar host like Ellen DeGeneres, or the Web, or 'Glee,'" says Ryan. "Forty years ago a kid might have made his discovery in the stacks of a library - and if you could even find a book, it would have a tragic ending."

But the more positive images of today, she notes, give a "false sense that acceptance is everywhere. Most people don't realize that while society has more positive images, that doesn't translate into a more supportive school or a more supportive home or someone for a young person to talk to."

Emily Coffin, now a high school junior in Santa Clarita, Calif., knows how important that support can be. She struggled to define her sexuality in middle school, where even her friends were mean, she says.

"They'd make offensive jokes," says Coffin, 15. Or, while she was still figuring out her identity, they'd say things like, "C'mon, you can tell me, you totally are gay."

For her, the real change came when she got involved with a gay-straight alliance at her school, of which she is now co-president.

"It gave me an outlet, a purpose," Coffin says now. "It changed my life."

Copyright 2010 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL. This article was written by JOCELYN NOVECK, Associated Press Writer.

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]]>Associated PressWed, 13 Oct 2010 12:00:00 ESTOpinion: Bullying Stops With Parentshttp://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/08/bullying-stops-with-parents/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/08/bullying-stops-with-parents/http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/08/bullying-stops-with-parents/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tyler Clementi, 18, a first year student at Rutgers University in New Jersey, killed himself shortly after being spied on and having footage of himself streamed online. Credit: AFP/Getty Images

Last week we mourned over several teenage suicides: Kids ages 13 to 18 from New Jersey, Texas, California, Indiana and Minnesota who were bullied because of their actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. These tragedies occurred in red and blue states, major cities and rural communities, and probably much closer to home than any of us want to consider.

And these were only the ones we read about.

Here are some horrifying statistics. Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24, and fourth for children ages 10 to 14. A 2008 survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention revealed that one-third of high-school students had seriously considered suicide, created a plan or actually tried to take their own life in the 12 months preceding the survey. Furthermore, boys have a higher rate of suicides, yet girls are also more prone to report their own attempts. And gay kids, according to other surveys, are at least twice as likely to make suicide attempts.

These are our sons and daughters -- tweens and teens grappling with who they are in the romantic world, so many of whom are bullied at school for being different, so many of whom remain silent about their struggles and pain.

This needs to stop. Both the bullying and the silent shame. Every one of us has the capacity to be the catalyst to end this misery. Take personal responsibility by reaching out to the children around you and making sure they are all safe, no matter who they are.

Start with your own dinner table and ask your child, "Who's being bullied at school?" Statistics dictate that teenage suicide will touch us all at some point, but those numbers don't have to stay that way.Talk to your kids and figure out where the bullying is going on, then use the resources below to empower yourself to make a difference.

Teach your child to believe in himself as well as standing up for those around him. And if your child is the bully, end that behavior immediately. Parents, check your own bullying tendencies as well. Answer this question honestly: What am I doing that's contributing to this situation? Chances are, there's something you can change in your own behavior and attitudes that will have a major impact on your kids and the world around them.

Don't wait until another child suicide story hits the front page before making this a priority in your family ... because that could be one day too late.

GLSEN: The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network offers a comprehensive list of anti-bullying resources.

PFLAG: Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays is a family-based organization committed to the civil rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. They offer parents 10 ways to make our schools safer and ways to report bullying in schools.

The Trevor Project: The Trevor Project focuses on crisis intervention and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. The confidential hotline is 866-488-7386. Check out their section on suicidal signs and facts and advice on how to help someone who is suicidal.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255)

Eddie Mercado is senior manager at AOL and works closely with the ParentDish team.

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]]>bully victimsbullyingBullyVictimsSuicidesuicide helpsuicide preventionSuicideHelpSuicidePreventionteenage suicideTeenageSuicideEddie MercadoFri, 08 Oct 2010 17:23:00 EST