Recent Comments:
Mother Raising Her Own Voice Over Restaurant's Ban on Screaming Kids {ParentDish}
Sep 10th 2010 1:55AM When you become a parent, your life changes. You can't do everything you could do before. If you are super lucky, you might have children who are easy to do "most" things with. Otherwise, you take a break from certain things until your kid is old enough or you are willing to leave him with a babysitter.
If that restaurant were the only place that woman and her kid could go to eat, I'd feel sorry for her. But it isn't. Lots of parents will never set foot in most restaurants, because their kids are not perfect angels, or they can't afford to go there. They manage to survive anyway. Suck it up.
This woman thinks the whole world should come to a screeching halt because she has an autistic kid. She has issues of her own, apparently.
Parents Gamble Kids' Safety, Leaving Them in Cars at Casinos {ParentDish}
Sep 9th 2010 11:31AM Being this fanatical about leaving children in a car for a few minutes is like pretending that everyone who drives is speeding at 100+ MPH, and therefore it should be a felony for parents to drive.
I wouldn't leave a kid in the car to go and gamble, but then, I don't gamble. Maybe there's a reason why gambling is illegal in most places in the USA. You know, kinda like LSD.
But as for kids overheating in the car. I spent quite a while perusing the website of some organization dedicated to stop this. It included many heart-wrenching stories of kids dying from the heat of a car. However, in every single case, the child was left for a long time on a hot day (when the sun was up). It was ALWAYS a case of clear neglect (babysitter shopping in mall for an hour) or completely forgetting that the child was in the car in the first place.
Now we're pretending this is likely to happen at night (it's the sun that heats up the car). That it can happen in a few minutes. That it can happen when it's neither hot nor sunny. That's letting your emotions take over your logic.
And as for kids being abducted in cars - first, don't leave it unlocked and take the keys with you. Then, park in a place where you can see the car, and don't be away from the car for more than 10 minutes (less if it's very hot or cold). Obviously, don't try this in a place known for high crime. Could someone still steal your kid? Possibly, but it's also possible for them to be snatched out of their beds. Possible, but so extremely improbable that it doesn't justify making this a felony. (Or should letting kids sleep alone also be a felony?)
There are risks to pulling toddlers and preschoolers out of the car for every quick stop. Kids get hit by cars in parking lots, pull away and run into streets, touch stuff that is dangerous, etc. There are times when it would be SAFER to leave them securely fastened into their car seats in a locked but ventilated car. So it's very unfortunate that so many people are allowing senasational stories to cloud their reason and advocating a law that does not make sense.
Do Dads Matter? {ParentDish}
Sep 1st 2010 10:31PM I think any good parent could be a good single parent. Having 2 parents is certainly ideal, assuming they get along and all that. But it's not absolutely necessary.
I thought a lot about creating a new life as a single mom, and ultimately decided it would not be right. However, I don't think it's a "selfish" or "foolish" thing to do. If you have reasons to believe you'll be an awesome parent, and you long to dedicate your life to a child, your kids will be better off than many, whether they are your biological or adopted kids. For me, I really wanted to get married and have a traditional family, so by the time I realized that wasn't going to happen, I was at an age that brings extra risk to creating a life. So I adopted, and I was able to choose to adopt girls, which I felt further reduced the risks of single parenting. That's what worked for me, and I've never been sorry.
My girls have men in their lives. And on the other hand, there are plenty of kids born into two-parent families that end up without dads in their lives much. Perfect is in Heaven. We're all just doing the best we can.
Starving College Students Turning to Food Stamps {ParentDish}
Aug 22nd 2010 1:01AM Wow! I didn't have a dime from my parents, yet it never occurred to me for a second to apply for food stamps! I simply applied only to schools that cost less than the educational loans I could get, and scrimped on the food. Ramen Noodles were the bomb! In fact, I scrimped on all purchases. I didn't buy clothes, I didn't smoke or drink, didn't go to moves or "out" to eat, etc. I didn't have wheels. Did a lot of walking and hanging out in libraries. I babysat, started a used-book business, worked in a factory, and held a few intern / grad assistant type jobs. I shared fairly tight, run-down quarters. I really don't understand some of the "poor me" attitude above. You made a choice to postpone your full-time earning ability. Why is that anyone else's problem? And if you are seriously in danger of starving, how much have you spent lately on cigarettes, booze, clothes, shoes, phone, gasoline, movies, soda, etc.? Come on, you know most of these youngsters are gaming the system - or they are too entitled and too foolish to realize it.
SmackDown: Should Kids Wear Skinny Jeans? {ParentDish}
Aug 22nd 2010 12:41AM I don't know what's compelling me to post at this point. But I have a skinny kid and I really wish there were actual skinny jeans out there, because she has never been able to wear any long pants other than tight leggings. Which, I now suppose are actually "skinny pants" and have apparently doomed her to a life of eating disorders. Alas!
The few photos I have seen of these so-called "skinny jeans" don't look at all slim, anyway.
Now what makes me cringe are Ariel costumes with booby-shaped bras for little tots. Nobody complains about that. But jeans with the word "skinny" in the elastic (which few preschoolers can read) is a huge societal problem?
Yes, You Can Leave Your Kids in the Car for a Few Minutes {ParentDish}
Aug 17th 2010 11:55PM How many children die while running through parking lots every year? If they'd been left in the car for a short time, they probably would be alive right now.
I agree with using your judgment as a parent. Until my kids were about 3, I never left them alone in the car more than a minute, because they would have gotten scared. In the past year, I have done it a couple of times, when I know it's going to be a very short time and my kids and I can see each other the whole time (e.g., going into a store with a big window while parked in clear view of said window. Yesterday evening, I did it because Panera had forgotten to serve my latte that I'd paid for. We were in a hurry, my kids totally understood what was going on, and I found a parking spot right across from the store window. Although I took all reasonable precautions, I worried about what someone might think / do if they saw my kids in there "alone."
To the argument that people don't know how long your kids have been in the car - if they appear to be happily chatting with each other (or otherwise amusing themselves) while securely belted into their car seats, chances are they are OK! But if you are still concerned, maybe hang out by the car for a couple minutes and give the parent a chance to come along and explain.
Once on a topic like this, someone posted a link to a Website that purported to offer evidence that it's "never" safe to leave a child in the car. The Website has dozens of heart-wrenching stories about kids dying in hot cars. However, every single one of those incidents involved kids in the car for far longer than 10 minutes, when the temperature outside was quite high. So although those stories are tragic, it is misleading to imply that every time you leave your child in a car, she is in grave danger. And "better safe than sorry" only applies if there are no dangers outside the car, which there are.
Flying Solo, Kids' Dollywood Thrill Ride Frightens Parents {ParentDish}
Aug 15th 2010 10:11PM 15 isn't exactly a baby. If these parents had encouraged more independence and accountability from a young age, these kids could have successfully completed a productive round-trip before curfew. There should have been parent permission for the two younger kids, but at 15, I'd say, let the kid have some freedom, deal with the consequences of her own behavior, and learn from the experience. Parents don't have to know every move their 15-year-old makes.
Complaining to the airline is counter-productive. It will just make it harder for kids to travel on parent-approved flights.
California Concerned About What Lurks Within Bouncy Castles {ParentDish}
Aug 13th 2010 5:23PM Alicia, my generation was exposed to a lot more lead than the current generation will ever be, and yet we are not all blithering idiots. Some of us are actually quite intelligent. If anything, learning problems are more widespread nowadays
Sounds like a lot of hysteria to me.
California Concerned About What Lurks Within Bouncy Castles {ParentDish}
Aug 13th 2010 10:35AM I think that if your kid is eating enough of the bouncy castle to get lead poisoning, you have bigger issues to worry about. Like,
1) How much of other people's (and critters') bodily secretions/excretions is she also eating?
2) How many hours is she actually spending in the bouncy castle each day? Is that keeping her from other important things, e.g., knowing what clouds look like?
3) What mental issues are causing this desire to eat walls and floors, and what other compulsions are involved?
Opinion: Banning 'D' Grades Puts Undue Pressure on Students {ParentDish}
Aug 10th 2010 11:07PM Interesting discussion. D does often mean "Don't giveashit," so having that as an option actually encourages some kids to fool around when they should be studying. But there are also some kids who try very hard and still get Ds. In that case, chronic Ds still mean "Don't giveashit," but this time on the part of the teachers. "D" gives them an easy out when it comes to students who require more effort to teach. So while I could see "D" being useful as a motivator in interim reporting, I agree that it should ultimately be treated as a failing grade (for the teacher and the student).
I don't think schools offer enough assistance with evaluating struggling kids to help pinpoint what their difficulties are. You would think they would save money in the long run by identifying problems as early and accurately as possible. But does the school funding structure support that? Far as I know, schools get more money the longer it takes kids to graduate (assuming they don't drop out on their 16th birthdays).
