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'Shiny Knife' and Other Carols of the Season

Sometimes, you just gotta sing to stay sane. A few carols to get you started! SCHADENFREUDE IS COMING TO TOWN (TO "SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN") You better watch out You better not cry You better get out the vodka, here's why: Christmas card...Sometimes, you just gotta sing to stay sane.

Toxic Christmas? Nope

"Children don't ask Santa for a dose of lead in their stockings," begins this article in USA Today, "but consumer advocates say that lead, a potent neurotoxin, is present in a surprising number of everyday products, including Christmas decorations." ...Are our kids are going to get lead poisoning from the decorations now -- not just from gnawing the toys from China?

Bad Advice: 'If You Get Lost, Look for a Mommy'

As the world heads to the mall this season, a lot of us tell our kids, "If you get lost, look for a mommy." The unspoken corollary being: "Because a man might drag you off and dye your hair in the bathroom and smuggle you out and rape you." (See...What is the message we're giving our kids? "Any man could possibly be a perv."

Yearbook Blacks Out Kids' Eyes for Fear of Porn Potential

Guess who, Mr. Child Pornographer? Credit: Daily Mail / Anorak News
What would you do if you got your kids' yearbook and all the eyes had been blacked out with magic marker? Personally, I'd try to wake up. But at a school in England, the princ...
A principal in England had the students' eyes blacked-out of the school yearbook

I'm Pro-Boy Scouts (And Pro-Gay)

If I'd thought about it harder, maybe I wouldn't have said, "Sure!" when my son asked me if he could tag along with his friend to a Boy Scout meeting three years ago. But, "Sure!" said I, and he ran home with the sign-up sheet. What was so excitin...In an era when we are realizing how terrible it is to ostracize (or bully) young men about their sexual orientation, why are the Boy Scouts kicking those kids to the curb?

Of Cops and Kids and Chess (and Cupcakes)

You're busted! Those were the words heard recently by two groups of individuals who, rather than being dinged by the cops, probably deserved some sort of medal. The first was a group of seven men lurking near a playground. Scary, right? Get t...Grown men are banned from playing chess in the park and kids are barred from selling cupcakes -- all in the name of safety.

Strangers Won't Help a Child Being Abducted? Really?

Oh, how morning TV cares! Recently a friend forwarded me this fake abduction. It was staged for "The Today Show" about a year ago and filmed bystanders not jumping in to "save" the girl (actually a 7-year-old hired to act the part of victim). W...A staged kidnapping on morning TV is the exact opposite of the helpful, insightful segment the show pretends that it is.

What If You Could Watch Your Child Every Single Second?

What kind of safety device would a completely crazy parent dream up for her kindergartener? How about a little thing you could strap on the kid's chest -- one part under his shirt, one part over? The part on the outside would look like a mini wall...Admit it: You know you want to.

Thinking About Predators and Bullies All the Time

Last summer, Dear Abby suggested that every day, before your child heads out to school, whip out your cell phone and take a photo. That way you'll have a picture to give the police when your child is kidnapped. That advice is one of the more ...Is the world really so dangerous that every day you should be prepared for your child to be kidnapped?

Sex Offenders, Candy and Cute Little Trick or Treaters

Remember the good ol' days when all we worried about on Halloween was poisoned candy? Now the big fear is sex offenders. That fear has lead a swath of cities and states to pass laws requiring registered sex offenders to stay at home on Halloween...Remember the good ol' days when all we worried about on Halloween was poisoned candy? Now the big fear is sex offenders.

Halloween Costume Rejects

Hey, parents! Are you trying to find a quick and easy costume to make for the kids? Look no further! The Tooth Decay Fairy What you'll need:
White pillowcase
Tin foil Toothbrush Candy corn, Life Savers, or Pez Pull the pillowcase ove...
Hey, parents! Are you trying to find a quick and easy costume to make for the kids? Look no further!

American Parents Are Chicken

What we consider "normal" parenting here in America is pretty much considered wackadoo in most of the rest of the world, especially when it comes to what we consider dangerous. In Japan, for instance, the kids walk to school -- or take those tra...What we consider "normal" parenting here in America is pretty much considered wackadoo in most of the rest of the world, especially when it comes to what we consider dangerous.

Let Go of Your College Kid!

This will come as a big shock: Parents are more involved than ever with getting their kids into college. That's what a survey of college admissions officers by the Kaplan test prep folks found out, including the fact that 77 percent of the offic...This will come as a big shock: Parents are more involved than ever with getting their kids into college.

GPSing Your Kid is Crazy!

"You take the family to the food court. Your wife and Pete head for tacos. You and Danny want Chinese. You look up at the menu. You look down to see what Danny wants. But you don't see Danny. Every parent knows that feeling. Imagine if he were actu...Now that we can track our children's every move, we start to think maybe we should. (Sort of like once we could buy our babies those black and white, brain-stimulating mobiles, it started to feel like it's just something a good parent does.)

Don't Be Scared of Walking to School (or Even the Bus Stop)

Have you noticed that a whole lot of kids don't walk to the school bus stop on their own anymore? Their parents walk them. Or drive them. In gated communities, so help me, they golf-cart them. And then they all wait there together until the bus comes...Have you noticed that a whole lot of kids don't walk to the school bus stop on their own anymore? Their parents walk them. Or drive them. In gated communities, so help me, they golf-cart them. And then they all wait there together until the bus comes. Or maybe the bus makes door-to-door stops. What happend to our kids legs?

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